1 00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:19,786 - Man: First off, thank you for doing this. - Of course, of course. 2 00:00:19,819 --> 00:00:22,488 I appreciate you coming in and speaking about Demi. 3 00:00:22,521 --> 00:00:24,490 Christina: The special thing about Demi 4 00:00:24,523 --> 00:00:30,163 is she has just a very real and honest soul about her. 5 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,765 When you meet her, when you're in a room with her, 6 00:00:32,798 --> 00:00:35,234 the boisterous laugh that comes out of her... 7 00:00:35,267 --> 00:00:37,370 ( laughing ) 8 00:00:37,403 --> 00:00:38,805 She's just no bullshit when it comes to-- 9 00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:40,506 even just her spirit 10 00:00:40,539 --> 00:00:42,508 and her energy and her laughter. 11 00:00:42,541 --> 00:00:44,510 When you look at artists like Demi 12 00:00:44,543 --> 00:00:47,647 and people that publically have to go through struggles, 13 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,850 nothing can define you within a moment in time. 14 00:00:50,883 --> 00:00:55,688 But I think you truly do have to go through some things and some lessons 15 00:00:55,721 --> 00:00:58,491 to catapult yourself to the next level. 16 00:00:58,524 --> 00:01:01,127 She's a real gem, that one. 17 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,829 I'm Will Ferrell. 18 00:01:02,862 --> 00:01:06,699 I'm, depending on who you talk to, 19 00:01:06,732 --> 00:01:11,537 either a beloved comedic actor or hated, 20 00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:14,740 um, for everything I say or do. 21 00:01:14,773 --> 00:01:18,377 Demi came and did a cameo on our movie "Eurovision." 22 00:01:18,410 --> 00:01:19,712 She was sharing with me 23 00:01:19,745 --> 00:01:21,814 how a lot of my movies 24 00:01:21,847 --> 00:01:24,784 really helped her through her rehab experience. 25 00:01:24,817 --> 00:01:26,786 It really touched me. 26 00:01:26,819 --> 00:01:30,523 I just happened to be watching the Grammys 27 00:01:30,556 --> 00:01:32,859 when she performed her song. 28 00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:36,395 And I wrote her, like, that the next day to just say, 29 00:01:36,428 --> 00:01:37,430 "Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you, 30 00:01:37,463 --> 00:01:39,265 but I watched you last night. 31 00:01:39,298 --> 00:01:44,871 That was just incredible to watch you be that vulnerable." 32 00:01:44,904 --> 00:01:49,242 And I don't write emails like this usually. 33 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,878 I just felt connected and wanting to kind of let her know, 34 00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:53,846 "Hey, you are now affecting me 35 00:01:53,879 --> 00:01:57,283 in a way that you should feel really proud of." 36 00:01:57,316 --> 00:02:00,753 I first heard Demi Lovato's music quite awhile ago and I loved her voice. 37 00:02:00,786 --> 00:02:03,589 I asked her to come and duet with me on "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" 38 00:02:03,622 --> 00:02:06,425 when I promoted it at the Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles. 39 00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:08,794 That's when I first met her, and I loved her so much. 40 00:02:08,827 --> 00:02:11,430 When you're young and you're famous, 41 00:02:11,463 --> 00:02:12,632 my God, it's tough. 42 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:14,267 You are put up on a pedestal 43 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,535 and you're not supposed to be human. 44 00:02:15,568 --> 00:02:17,603 "Demi Lovato is God. She's fantastic. 45 00:02:17,636 --> 00:02:19,605 She's perfect." 46 00:02:19,638 --> 00:02:21,841 But of course, we're not perfect. We're all human beings. 47 00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:25,444 She's human and she's adorable and she's brave. 48 00:02:25,477 --> 00:02:28,548 ♪ Dancing with the devil ♪ 49 00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:31,751 ♪ Out of control ♪ 50 00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:34,554 ♪ Almost made it to heaven ♪ 51 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:38,658 ♪ It was closer than you'll know ♪ 52 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,299 Man: We were so geared up with the Grammys 53 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,633 and with Super Bowl. 54 00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:49,302 And then everything got put on hold, 55 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,704 and I can't imagine how scary that was for you. 56 00:02:51,737 --> 00:02:54,941 I don't think that I would've been able to appreciate 57 00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:57,944 the big things that are going to come in the future 58 00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:00,713 had I not been able to appreciate the little things now. 59 00:03:00,746 --> 00:03:02,548 Hi. 60 00:03:02,581 --> 00:03:04,884 My quarantine has been 61 00:03:04,917 --> 00:03:07,653 really beneficial to my mental health. 62 00:03:07,686 --> 00:03:11,457 Obviously, I hated that people were getting sick. 63 00:03:11,490 --> 00:03:13,326 In other times in my life, I've always tried 64 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,828 to find the good in things, and that's what I did with this. 65 00:03:15,861 --> 00:03:18,664 It was like, how can I use this experience to work on myself? 66 00:03:18,697 --> 00:03:21,834 I know 2020 is a dark year for all of us. 67 00:03:21,867 --> 00:03:23,502 But-- it feels dirty to say this. 68 00:03:23,535 --> 00:03:25,304 She's had the best year ever. 69 00:03:25,337 --> 00:03:27,006 During this quarantine, she's grown so much. 70 00:03:27,039 --> 00:03:28,674 She's meditating and doing 71 00:03:28,707 --> 00:03:30,476 all these different things for herself. 72 00:03:30,509 --> 00:03:31,510 Demi: Even if it's as small 73 00:03:31,543 --> 00:03:32,912 as stretching before bed, 74 00:03:32,945 --> 00:03:34,513 things that I just didn't take time 75 00:03:34,546 --> 00:03:35,982 to do before quarantine, 76 00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:37,683 I'm now taking time to do. 77 00:03:37,716 --> 00:03:39,352 I was just like, all right, 78 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:43,689 I'm going to take this time to spend with my family 79 00:03:43,722 --> 00:03:46,525 and get to know my boyfriend 80 00:03:46,558 --> 00:03:50,663 and cuddle with my dogs more. 81 00:03:50,696 --> 00:03:54,600 He just fit right in with the whole family. 82 00:03:54,633 --> 00:03:56,769 My mom came to me, and she's like, "Listen, I just want to let you know, 83 00:03:56,802 --> 00:04:00,506 Demi's met this guy and I think he's going to be around for awhile."" 84 00:04:00,539 --> 00:04:04,410 Demi: There have been times in my life where I have felt so alone. 85 00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:07,580 Now that I have found him, I feel amazing. 86 00:04:10,749 --> 00:04:14,553 Hi, guys. This is so weird, 87 00:04:14,586 --> 00:04:18,391 talking to a camera by myself 88 00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,026 while my boyfriend's asleep. 89 00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:22,262 Oh, my God. Fiancé. 90 00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:27,033 So... 91 00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:28,968 yeah, I don't know if you caught that, but, um, 92 00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:31,537 this is the ring. 93 00:04:33,605 --> 00:04:34,907 Matthew: She texted me and said, 94 00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:36,742 "I met that man that I'm going to marry." 95 00:04:36,775 --> 00:04:39,578 That was what, March 6th or 7th or something like that? 96 00:04:39,611 --> 00:04:41,514 And I think they've been together every single night since. 97 00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:43,416 And now they're getting married, so she was right. 98 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:45,985 When she announced that she was engaged, 99 00:04:46,018 --> 00:04:47,753 I was very happy about that. 100 00:04:47,786 --> 00:04:51,924 I was so happy that she was with someone 101 00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:53,826 that was making her so happy. 102 00:04:53,859 --> 00:04:55,661 Demi: I'm kind of scared 103 00:04:55,694 --> 00:04:58,030 to know life without quarantine with him. 104 00:04:58,063 --> 00:04:59,932 Although there was a lot of concerns, 105 00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:02,468 we were all still really happy that she was feeling so good 106 00:05:02,501 --> 00:05:05,004 and that she had somebody with her through this time. 107 00:05:15,647 --> 00:05:19,952 So, my life has kind of 108 00:05:19,985 --> 00:05:22,822 flipped upside down. 109 00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:26,326 I'm no longer engaged. 110 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:36,469 I'm really sad that things ended the way that they did. 111 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:39,472 Good news is I haven't picked up 112 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,941 any hard drugs or anything like that. 113 00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:44,010 I'm hanging in there. 114 00:05:46,678 --> 00:05:48,014 It's just shitty. 115 00:05:58,023 --> 00:05:59,658 The video I made earlier 116 00:05:59,691 --> 00:06:04,130 wasn't an accurate representation 117 00:06:04,163 --> 00:06:06,799 of what I'm going through. 118 00:06:06,832 --> 00:06:11,437 So, I thought this whole time that I didn't miss him, 119 00:06:11,470 --> 00:06:15,541 I just missed the person that I started quarantining with. 120 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:21,013 And I don't know 121 00:06:21,046 --> 00:06:26,152 how to give my heart 122 00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:29,555 to someone after this. 123 00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:36,862 Man: Last interview, we started, 124 00:06:36,895 --> 00:06:39,532 and do you know what you did to start? 125 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:43,869 The biggest change in my life is I'm engaged. 126 00:06:43,902 --> 00:06:47,039 You looked at me and you went-- 127 00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:49,041 You had just gotten engaged. 128 00:06:49,074 --> 00:06:51,177 Oh, shit. 129 00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:55,181 I got engaged a week ago today. 130 00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:56,916 It was just the best day of my life. 131 00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:58,150 I felt like I was floating. 132 00:06:58,183 --> 00:07:01,020 It's been a whirlwind ever since. 133 00:07:01,053 --> 00:07:03,722 - Man: What happened? - Honestly? 134 00:07:03,755 --> 00:07:05,057 What happened? 135 00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:08,727 I think I rushed into something 136 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:13,766 that I thought was what I was supposed to do. 137 00:07:13,799 --> 00:07:16,068 I realized as time went on 138 00:07:16,101 --> 00:07:19,071 that I didn't actually know 139 00:07:19,104 --> 00:07:21,707 the person that I was engaged to. 140 00:07:21,740 --> 00:07:24,743 All the people that were like, "Oh, they rushed into it," 141 00:07:24,776 --> 00:07:27,079 or, you know, "Oh, it's not going to last." 142 00:07:27,112 --> 00:07:28,647 And then, like, you proved them right. 143 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,216 We were only together four or five months. 144 00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:32,084 - Yes. - And honestly, 145 00:07:32,117 --> 00:07:34,587 it was false advertising. 146 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,755 - Yep! - When you both got into your separate work modes, 147 00:07:36,788 --> 00:07:39,024 you're like, "This is not the person that I thought it was." 148 00:07:39,057 --> 00:07:41,760 Because it was 2020. You didn't get to normally date like you do. 149 00:07:41,793 --> 00:07:44,830 Right! It's like, of course that accelerated. 150 00:07:44,863 --> 00:07:48,801 I didn't even have my best friends to hang out with in quarantine. 151 00:07:48,834 --> 00:07:50,936 The hardest part of the break-up 152 00:07:50,969 --> 00:07:53,105 was mourning the person that I thought he was. 153 00:07:53,138 --> 00:07:54,773 Yeah, and the life you thought you were going to have. 154 00:07:54,806 --> 00:07:56,775 - Yeah, of course. - I mean, this is-- 155 00:07:56,808 --> 00:07:59,678 But I'm not the only one who felt fooled. 156 00:07:59,711 --> 00:08:03,249 I mean, I was just as shocked as the rest of the world 157 00:08:03,282 --> 00:08:05,618 at some of the things that were said and done. 158 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,253 Matthew: When you were done, you were done. 159 00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:08,954 I was done. 160 00:08:08,987 --> 00:08:11,957 And I'm like, "How are you?" You're like, "I'm good." 161 00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,993 Yes, she was. And she is. 162 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:16,095 If I found a Demi Lovato, 163 00:08:16,128 --> 00:08:18,130 I would want to lock her down, too. 164 00:08:18,163 --> 00:08:19,698 - Do you know what I'm saying? - Thank you. 165 00:08:19,731 --> 00:08:21,967 Do you know what I'm saying? 166 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:27,540 There's so much more of me that I have yet to explore. 167 00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:30,643 And one of the good things about this experience 168 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:33,212 is that I've used this time to look within. 169 00:08:33,245 --> 00:08:39,218 And also I feel like I'm actually too queer 170 00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:43,923 to marry a man in my life right now. 171 00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:47,660 I'm not willing to put a label on it right this second. 172 00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,295 I think I will get there, 173 00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:52,798 but there's a lot of things I have to do for myself first. 174 00:08:52,831 --> 00:08:56,268 I want to allow myself the ability to live my life 175 00:08:56,301 --> 00:09:00,306 in the most authentic form possible, 176 00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:03,008 which I just haven't done because of my past 177 00:09:03,041 --> 00:09:05,177 and some things that I've needed to work on. 178 00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:07,179 Man: When they chose to call off the engagement, 179 00:09:07,212 --> 00:09:09,014 it was an incredible example 180 00:09:09,047 --> 00:09:13,018 of just how she has grown and matured 181 00:09:13,051 --> 00:09:14,853 and developed in terms of the ability 182 00:09:14,886 --> 00:09:17,890 to be in pain and be scared. 183 00:09:17,923 --> 00:09:20,659 And the ability to say, "Oh, yeah, I want the relief 184 00:09:20,692 --> 00:09:24,863 that I used to associate with using those types of drugs, 185 00:09:24,896 --> 00:09:26,865 and I don't want to." 186 00:09:26,898 --> 00:09:28,100 Man: If there was ever a time 187 00:09:28,133 --> 00:09:29,902 where you were going to do drugs, 188 00:09:29,935 --> 00:09:32,871 I think it would be after you broke off your engagement. 189 00:09:32,904 --> 00:09:35,641 Given everything that's happened, 190 00:09:35,674 --> 00:09:37,577 are you entirely sober now? 191 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:46,218 Demi: I've learned that shutting the door on things 192 00:09:46,251 --> 00:09:48,220 makes me want to open the door even more. 193 00:09:48,253 --> 00:09:51,056 I've learned that it doesn't work for me to say, 194 00:09:51,089 --> 00:09:52,224 "I'm never going to do this again." 195 00:09:52,257 --> 00:09:55,361 I've really, 196 00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:57,162 really struggled with this. 197 00:09:57,195 --> 00:10:00,065 I know I'm done with the stuff 198 00:10:00,098 --> 00:10:02,067 that's going to kill me, right? 199 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:05,638 But I wish that I could get some relief, 200 00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:07,906 maybe through weed or something, right? 201 00:10:07,939 --> 00:10:09,609 And... 202 00:10:14,112 --> 00:10:19,918 Telling myself that I can never have a drink 203 00:10:19,951 --> 00:10:23,255 or smoke marijuana, 204 00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:26,025 I feel like that's setting myself up for failure 205 00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:28,227 because I am such a black and white thinker. 206 00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:31,363 I had had it drilled into my head for so many years 207 00:10:31,396 --> 00:10:36,268 that one drink was equivalent to a crack pipe. 208 00:10:36,301 --> 00:10:38,270 I've been hesitant to share until now 209 00:10:38,303 --> 00:10:40,773 that I've been smoking weed 210 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,841 and drinking in moderation. 211 00:10:42,874 --> 00:10:46,412 After almost dying from the OD and after so many years 212 00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:49,114 of being the poster child of sobriety, 213 00:10:49,147 --> 00:10:51,183 I didn't want people to criticize me for that. 214 00:10:51,216 --> 00:10:53,419 And I also don't want people to hear that 215 00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:55,287 and think that they can just go out 216 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:59,291 and try having a drink or smoking a joint. 217 00:10:59,324 --> 00:11:00,993 Because it isn't for everybody. 218 00:11:01,026 --> 00:11:04,797 Recovery isn't a one size fits all solution 219 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:09,168 and you shouldn't be forced to get sober if you're not ready. 220 00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:12,771 You shouldn't get sober for other people. 221 00:11:12,804 --> 00:11:14,473 You have to do it for yourself. 222 00:11:14,506 --> 00:11:16,175 What Demi has continued to do 223 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:20,846 is she continues to search for what is her path, 224 00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:22,181 what does work for her. 225 00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:24,316 The ability for her to be able to share, 226 00:11:24,349 --> 00:11:25,918 "Hey, I'm going to try smoking weed," 227 00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:27,286 okay, let's talk about that. 228 00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:28,987 "I don't want to be completely abstinent. 229 00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:31,323 I want to be able to see if I can have a drink." 230 00:11:31,356 --> 00:11:33,192 The weed thing is very new. 231 00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:36,228 I think she's exploring her boundaries with that now. 232 00:11:36,261 --> 00:11:39,998 It does kind of scare me now 233 00:11:40,031 --> 00:11:41,800 to know that she isn't sober. 234 00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:44,336 You know, I don't know if being dead sober 235 00:11:44,369 --> 00:11:46,905 would be the best thing for her, honestly. 236 00:11:46,938 --> 00:11:48,340 I don't know if it wouldn't, though. 237 00:11:48,373 --> 00:11:50,042 I think that that's not really my place. 238 00:11:50,075 --> 00:11:54,346 Um, moderation doesn't work. Sorry. 239 00:11:54,379 --> 00:11:55,981 If you drink, you're going to drink more. 240 00:11:56,014 --> 00:11:57,149 If you take a pill, 241 00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:58,183 you're going to take another one. 242 00:11:58,216 --> 00:12:00,119 You either do it or you don't. 243 00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:01,854 Demi knows the whole moderation thing 244 00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,522 is not something I truly agree with. 245 00:12:03,555 --> 00:12:05,257 What I've learned with addiction 246 00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:09,528 is if I push her to do what I want, I push her away. 247 00:12:09,561 --> 00:12:11,430 I can't control her. 248 00:12:11,463 --> 00:12:15,367 What I can do is be a friend and hope that she's right. 249 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,504 Any path that is right for someone else 250 00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:22,040 does not mean that it is an effective, 251 00:12:22,073 --> 00:12:25,844 meaningful, safe path for you. 252 00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:29,882 Being dogmatic about, "Someone must be abstinent. 253 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,517 They can never have another substance," 254 00:12:31,550 --> 00:12:34,052 is just as harmful as saying, 255 00:12:34,085 --> 00:12:37,956 "Well, moderation works for Demi Lovato. 256 00:12:37,989 --> 00:12:39,291 Therefore, it will work for me." 257 00:12:39,324 --> 00:12:42,828 My hope is that the message that people get 258 00:12:42,861 --> 00:12:46,398 is we encourage people to explore and say, 259 00:12:46,431 --> 00:12:48,233 "What is truly meaningful to me 260 00:12:48,266 --> 00:12:50,235 and what actually worked for me?" 261 00:12:50,268 --> 00:12:52,404 I feel like the point that my sister's in 262 00:12:52,437 --> 00:12:55,908 in her life right now is that she's finally learning 263 00:12:55,941 --> 00:13:01,547 to find balance in every element of her life. 264 00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,081 - Cheers. - Cheers. 265 00:13:03,114 --> 00:13:04,917 To being alive. I don't know. 266 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,418 Okay. 267 00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:10,556 I never found recovery in my eating disorder fully 268 00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:15,060 until I found balance in my food, in my exercise. 269 00:13:15,093 --> 00:13:19,932 And I know that it will still affect me for the rest of my life, 270 00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,166 but it's manageable, 271 00:13:21,199 --> 00:13:23,368 and the voice has gotten so quiet 272 00:13:23,401 --> 00:13:25,103 that it no longer rules my life 273 00:13:25,136 --> 00:13:27,105 and I no longer feel like I'm in a prison. 274 00:13:27,138 --> 00:13:28,941 Demi had told me a story in the past 275 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,576 of eight years straight 276 00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:32,945 she had gotten watermelon cakes for her birthday, 277 00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:35,180 and it was always devastating because they were trying to keep her weight down. 278 00:13:35,213 --> 00:13:36,982 When I would go on trips with her previously, 279 00:13:37,015 --> 00:13:39,451 it was understanding, okay, we will eat when she eats 280 00:13:39,484 --> 00:13:41,220 but there will be no snacking outside of that. 281 00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:43,288 This trip to Palm Springs? 282 00:13:43,321 --> 00:13:45,157 We ate whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. 283 00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:48,594 She had three birthday cakes, which was a huge deal for her 284 00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:51,196 because previously she had just had watermelon cakes. 285 00:13:51,229 --> 00:13:55,300 - Aah! Yes! - Wait, where is that from? 286 00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:57,603 - SusieCakes. - SusieCakes! 287 00:13:57,636 --> 00:14:01,373 - Yes! - We haven't had a SusieCake for your birthday ever? 288 00:14:01,406 --> 00:14:04,142 This is so cool. 289 00:14:04,175 --> 00:14:06,144 - Happy birthday. - Thank you. 290 00:14:06,177 --> 00:14:08,046 Demi was like, "This is great. 291 00:14:08,079 --> 00:14:09,548 We get to just enjoy food with each other." 292 00:14:09,581 --> 00:14:11,316 So we had this kind of a-ha moment 293 00:14:11,349 --> 00:14:12,618 where it's like, "This is okay. 294 00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:14,152 We can have three birthday cakes 295 00:14:14,185 --> 00:14:15,320 because it is your birthday 296 00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:16,989 and we're celebrating it 297 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,957 and this is something we're sharing together." 298 00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:20,525 And I watched her in real time 299 00:14:20,558 --> 00:14:22,628 realize that was something she could do, 300 00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,263 and it was really beautiful. 301 00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:26,498 Wow. Breathwork. 302 00:14:26,531 --> 00:14:28,533 - Yay! - Whoo! 303 00:14:28,566 --> 00:14:31,003 That's the best part about of my life today 304 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,437 is that I'm in control of it. 305 00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:34,172 What I eat is my decision. 306 00:14:34,205 --> 00:14:37,009 What I don't eat is my decision. 307 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,011 What I do is my decision. 308 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:42,014 And I'm really, really, really grateful 309 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,382 of the team that I have today. 310 00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:44,683 Man: Who are those people 311 00:14:44,716 --> 00:14:45,984 that you're referring to, the team today? 312 00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:50,422 Definitely Max. Scott. 313 00:14:50,455 --> 00:14:52,124 And Scooter, obviously. 314 00:14:52,157 --> 00:14:54,660 I just have so many incredible people in my life today. 315 00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:56,695 I and the people in her life 316 00:14:56,728 --> 00:14:59,698 continue to support her being authentic 317 00:14:59,731 --> 00:15:02,000 in her ability to make her own choices. 318 00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:05,370 I am very, very aware 319 00:15:05,403 --> 00:15:07,606 of how blessed, lucky I am. 320 00:15:07,639 --> 00:15:10,542 Not everybody has the same resources 321 00:15:10,575 --> 00:15:12,377 or capabilities to get the help they need. 322 00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:14,379 Not everyone's going to have a case manager and a therapist 323 00:15:14,412 --> 00:15:18,317 and a head of security and all of these people around them. 324 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,385 But that's not necessary 325 00:15:20,418 --> 00:15:23,956 for someone to be able to explore their path. 326 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:27,225 The key is do I have people in my life who I trust, 327 00:15:27,258 --> 00:15:30,662 who I can be honest with, and who I feel will support me? 328 00:15:30,695 --> 00:15:33,565 Isolation is the worst thing you can do. Ask for help. 329 00:15:33,598 --> 00:15:36,068 Asking for help was so hard for me 330 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,602 because I thought I could do everything myself. 331 00:15:37,635 --> 00:15:39,071 The great thing about Demi 332 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:41,406 is that she has opened up 333 00:15:41,439 --> 00:15:43,241 about her addictions and her problems, 334 00:15:43,274 --> 00:15:47,012 and the stress and the pressure of fame at such an early age, 335 00:15:47,045 --> 00:15:49,247 and a lot of people are afraid to open up about it. 336 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,249 I feel once you open up about it, 337 00:15:51,282 --> 00:15:54,252 you get the monkey off your back and you come out in the open. 338 00:15:54,285 --> 00:15:55,520 It doesn't mean to say you're cured, 339 00:15:55,553 --> 00:15:56,555 because you never will be. 340 00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:58,357 Addiction is a lifelong thing. 341 00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:00,092 But you can have the most fantastic life. 342 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,593 I've been sober 30 years. 343 00:16:01,626 --> 00:16:03,395 I've had the most incredible things happen to me. 344 00:16:03,428 --> 00:16:04,596 And I'm hoping that she does, too, 345 00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:07,632 because she's such a great girl. 346 00:16:07,665 --> 00:16:09,101 If something happens with me, 347 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,103 if I'm feeling a certain way, 348 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:15,407 I don't wait until I'm triggered to do something. 349 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,443 I text my therapist. I text my case manager. 350 00:16:18,476 --> 00:16:22,447 I text whoever it is, "Hey, my depression is acting up. 351 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,117 Just so you know." Even if that's all it is, 352 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,252 just so someone's aware, because in that moment 353 00:16:27,285 --> 00:16:29,521 it takes a little bit of the power away. 354 00:16:29,554 --> 00:16:34,126 I deal with depression on a level that most people probably never understand, 355 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:37,462 which is why I've always turned to drugs, to an eating disorder, 356 00:16:37,495 --> 00:16:42,134 because all of these things stop me from taking that permanent step. 357 00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:44,302 I'm constantly talking about it 358 00:16:44,335 --> 00:16:45,804 and I'm constantly open about it, 359 00:16:45,837 --> 00:16:47,639 and that way I'm not waiting till the last minute 360 00:16:47,672 --> 00:16:49,541 and I'm suicidal to get help. 361 00:16:49,574 --> 00:16:52,778 Getting ahead of the curve and being proactive, 362 00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:55,147 taking steps that are going to put 363 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,715 safety precautions in place, 364 00:16:56,748 --> 00:16:59,351 that's why the Vivitrol shot is really important to me. 365 00:16:59,384 --> 00:17:04,289 Vivitrol, what it does is it actually blocks the opiate receptors. 366 00:17:04,322 --> 00:17:06,658 It will keep you from getting high. 367 00:17:06,691 --> 00:17:08,794 Do I ever want to touch heroin again? No. 368 00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:10,662 Do I think I will? Absolutely not. 369 00:17:10,695 --> 00:17:13,165 But I still get it just because at least 370 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,800 for a few years it can't hurt me. 371 00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:17,502 Man: So you put precautions in place for your addiction 372 00:17:17,535 --> 00:17:19,805 - and for your depression. - Mm-hmm. 373 00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:22,674 I want to check in on something that you revealed to the world ten years ago, 374 00:17:22,707 --> 00:17:24,343 your bipolar diagnosis. 375 00:17:26,711 --> 00:17:29,181 How does your diagnosis affect your life today? 376 00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:33,351 Well, that's a really interesting question 377 00:17:33,384 --> 00:17:35,620 because I've been told 378 00:17:35,653 --> 00:17:38,723 that they think I was misdiagnosed when I was 18. 379 00:17:38,756 --> 00:17:41,359 I came out to the public when I found out I was bipolar 380 00:17:41,392 --> 00:17:45,064 because I thought that it put a reasoning behind my actions. 381 00:17:47,565 --> 00:17:50,302 But what I didn't do was get a second opinion. 382 00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:54,573 You take something public, you become an advocate for it. 383 00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:57,609 I was acting out when I was 18 for many reasons, 384 00:17:57,642 --> 00:18:00,245 but I know now from multiple different doctors 385 00:18:00,278 --> 00:18:02,714 that it was not because I was bipolar. 386 00:18:02,747 --> 00:18:04,716 I had to grow up. 387 00:18:04,749 --> 00:18:06,385 I had to grow the ( bleep ) up. 388 00:18:21,599 --> 00:18:22,634 Matthew: Everything's so cool! 389 00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:24,569 - Demi: Thanks. - Sirah: Right? 390 00:18:24,602 --> 00:18:27,372 I love this chair. I am this chair. These are my legs now. 391 00:18:27,405 --> 00:18:31,643 - Sirah: The art is insane. - Oh, Ella wants to show you-- 392 00:18:31,676 --> 00:18:33,245 Ella? What do you want to show me, baby? 393 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,880 - This is my pup area. - Hey, little girl. 394 00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:36,748 Sirah: You're doing your little "MTV Cribs"? 395 00:18:36,781 --> 00:18:39,885 - This is so exciting. - Dining room. Wow. 396 00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:41,887 I was just saying I love how gay your house is. 397 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,788 - Your house is-- - It's so perfectly gay. 398 00:18:43,821 --> 00:18:46,258 The kitchen's not done. I have to paint it. 399 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,627 - It's too straight, yeah? - It's too straight. 400 00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:49,895 - It's too hetero. - We have to fix it. 401 00:18:49,928 --> 00:18:51,763 I also, Demi, love this little butt. 402 00:18:51,796 --> 00:18:54,466 Sirah: Oh, yeah, the pottery is, like, everything to me. 403 00:18:54,499 --> 00:18:57,769 - Wow. - Demi: What's so nice about this place 404 00:18:57,802 --> 00:19:01,173 is especially after the break-up and everything, 405 00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:04,609 I get to move out and start new, start fresh. 406 00:19:04,642 --> 00:19:09,281 I've never had a house that encompasses my personality 407 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:10,916 more than this one does. 408 00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,785 It's glamorous, it's fun, 409 00:19:13,818 --> 00:19:16,621 it's colorful. 410 00:19:16,654 --> 00:19:18,957 And you have everything from 411 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:22,627 the Netflix series "Ratched" inspired basement 412 00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:24,729 to a shroom room on the third floor. 413 00:19:24,762 --> 00:19:27,632 ( laughing ) 414 00:19:27,665 --> 00:19:29,634 Holy shit! Whoa. 415 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,803 And you can, like, pause it on colors. 416 00:19:31,836 --> 00:19:34,339 I wanted something so out there 417 00:19:34,372 --> 00:19:36,308 that no one has in their house. 418 00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:38,944 The concept of the room is less about what you do in it, 419 00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:41,479 but actually what it inspires inside of you. 420 00:19:41,512 --> 00:19:44,282 - I have this room to be creative in. - And be creative. 421 00:19:44,315 --> 00:19:46,484 - You don't have to do shrooms to come in here. - But you-- exactly! 422 00:19:46,517 --> 00:19:49,454 - But you feel like you're on some. - Exactly. Exactly. 423 00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:57,495 ( music playing ) 424 00:19:57,528 --> 00:19:59,764 Scooter: In the studio, Demi is in her happy place. 425 00:19:59,797 --> 00:20:01,333 She feels free there. 426 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,767 She feels she can be honest there. 427 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,236 When she's in the studio, 428 00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:05,337 I think she's actually truly present. 429 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:09,875 ( music playing ) 430 00:20:14,946 --> 00:20:16,348 Now you're getting it. 431 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,850 ( music playing ) 432 00:20:18,883 --> 00:20:20,352 - Yes! - Yeah! 433 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:21,686 I'm just excited to release music 434 00:20:21,719 --> 00:20:24,322 I've been working on for years now. 435 00:20:24,355 --> 00:20:27,926 My life has changed more in the past two years than it has my whole life. 436 00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:31,730 With that comes reworking of an album. 437 00:20:31,763 --> 00:20:33,698 We're not worried about making the pop radio hits. 438 00:20:33,731 --> 00:20:35,367 I told her, let's tell a story. 439 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,768 Let's make a body of work that tells your story. 440 00:20:36,801 --> 00:20:39,805 ( music playing ) 441 00:20:48,913 --> 00:20:50,715 Oh, shit. You want to keep going. Okay. 442 00:20:50,748 --> 00:20:52,550 I don't know. I just was feeling it. 443 00:20:52,583 --> 00:20:54,019 All of my albums have been my babies, 444 00:20:54,052 --> 00:20:55,887 but this one I'm watching turn into a teenager 445 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,390 because it's evolved so much. 446 00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,292 And I think I'm the most proud of this one. 447 00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:02,027 I'm so glad that I had the opportunity 448 00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:05,797 and the time to make it perfect the way I want it. 449 00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:07,432 It's going to be about where I am today 450 00:21:07,465 --> 00:21:09,467 and what I'm looking for and who I am. 451 00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:12,070 Me embracing my queer self. 452 00:21:12,103 --> 00:21:14,606 Going for it fearlessly is where I'm at today 453 00:21:14,639 --> 00:21:16,808 and what I want my music to represent, too. 454 00:21:16,841 --> 00:21:18,410 It's a different level of connection, 455 00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:19,878 and I'm ready to go there with fans. 456 00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:21,579 The exciting part for me 457 00:21:21,612 --> 00:21:24,582 is this album feels like every piece of her. 458 00:21:24,615 --> 00:21:27,052 Not just the Demi Lovato that we know, 459 00:21:27,085 --> 00:21:29,888 not just the advocate, just all her combined. 460 00:21:29,921 --> 00:21:34,326 Demi is finally being as honest as she should be and as she needs to be. 461 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,762 Demi is relentless about fighting for anybody 462 00:21:37,795 --> 00:21:41,032 she feels is being slighted or doesn't have a voice. 463 00:21:41,065 --> 00:21:43,601 - Seth Meyers: How are you, Demi? - Hi, I'm good. How are you? 464 00:21:43,634 --> 00:21:45,437 You wrote a song called "Commander In Chief" 465 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:48,039 which was basically sort of a letter to the President. 466 00:21:48,072 --> 00:21:50,608 I was thinking about the music that's out there right now, 467 00:21:50,641 --> 00:21:53,912 and I was like, why isn't anyone talking about what's happening? 468 00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:58,083 Demi: I've got to help other people by telling a bigger story. 469 00:21:58,116 --> 00:22:02,120 You know, being in LA when all of these protests were going on, 470 00:22:02,153 --> 00:22:05,957 understanding that I can never understand 471 00:22:05,990 --> 00:22:09,527 what people of color deal with on a daily basis, it was just a lot. 472 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,431 ( music playing ) 473 00:22:16,134 --> 00:22:17,469 It's a part of growing up, 474 00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:18,803 finding what's important to you 475 00:22:18,836 --> 00:22:20,705 and then figuring out what it is 476 00:22:20,738 --> 00:22:22,440 that you want to leave on this Earth when you're gone. 477 00:22:22,473 --> 00:22:24,075 There's bigger things to talk about than me. 478 00:22:24,108 --> 00:22:26,644 There's different ways to vote. You can mail in. 479 00:22:26,677 --> 00:22:28,780 I actually just got word from Mom 480 00:22:28,813 --> 00:22:31,116 that my ballot arrived at the house. 481 00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:34,786 Christina: It really takes a strong person to speak up, 482 00:22:34,819 --> 00:22:38,123 be open to the backlash and people that oppose those opinions, 483 00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:39,824 and still hold tight to them. 484 00:22:39,857 --> 00:22:43,528 Now more than ever, she's taken hold of that power. 485 00:22:45,029 --> 00:22:46,998 We're looking for a body of work 486 00:22:47,031 --> 00:22:48,833 that makes everyone just completely blown away. 487 00:22:48,866 --> 00:22:51,002 Yeah. I think one of the most powerful songs 488 00:22:51,035 --> 00:22:53,004 - is "Dancing With The Devil." - I agree. 489 00:22:53,037 --> 00:22:55,006 Ooh! When she played me "Dancing With The Devil," 490 00:22:55,039 --> 00:22:57,409 I was like, "You can't. You're releasing this?" 491 00:22:57,442 --> 00:22:59,110 "Dancing With The Devil" is incredible 492 00:22:59,143 --> 00:23:01,646 although it's so painful to listen to. 493 00:23:01,679 --> 00:23:04,015 "Dancing With The Devil" can be really scary 494 00:23:04,048 --> 00:23:06,151 when I think back to 495 00:23:06,184 --> 00:23:09,154 the person that I used to know my sister as. 496 00:23:09,187 --> 00:23:14,025 But I don't think the person my sister is now dances with the devil. 497 00:23:19,063 --> 00:23:21,533 Man: Your friends and family say you're the best liar, 498 00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:23,034 and you've said similar things in the past, 499 00:23:23,067 --> 00:23:24,869 that you're done with hard drugs. 500 00:23:24,902 --> 00:23:26,538 So why is this time different? 501 00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:29,040 I haven't relapsed in drugs and alcohol. 502 00:23:29,073 --> 00:23:30,975 That's something that I'm very proud of. 503 00:23:31,008 --> 00:23:33,678 I decided to drink, 504 00:23:33,711 --> 00:23:35,580 and I made that decision to find balance, 505 00:23:35,613 --> 00:23:38,450 and I've been doing awesome ever since. 506 00:23:40,218 --> 00:23:43,788 The one slip up that I ever had with those drugs again, 507 00:23:43,821 --> 00:23:47,725 the scariest thing to me was picking up heroin 508 00:23:47,758 --> 00:23:51,563 and realizing, wow, this-- 509 00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:53,731 this isn't strong enough anymore 510 00:23:53,764 --> 00:23:55,066 because what I had done 511 00:23:55,099 --> 00:23:58,570 the night I overdosed was fentanyl. 512 00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:02,207 And that-- 513 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,742 that's a whole other beast. 514 00:24:06,611 --> 00:24:09,214 Realizing the high I wanted would kill me 515 00:24:09,247 --> 00:24:11,783 was what I needed to get me clean for good. 516 00:24:17,788 --> 00:24:19,224 I have full faith 517 00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:22,160 that you're not going to open up TMZ 518 00:24:22,193 --> 00:24:24,095 and see another overdose headline. 519 00:24:24,128 --> 00:24:27,098 But I also say this with humility 520 00:24:27,131 --> 00:24:29,934 that this is a very powerful disease 521 00:24:29,967 --> 00:24:33,271 and I'm not going to pretend like I'm invincible. 522 00:24:33,304 --> 00:24:35,773 I have to work every day 523 00:24:35,806 --> 00:24:37,942 to make sure that I'm in a good place 524 00:24:37,975 --> 00:24:39,911 so that I don't go to those things. 525 00:24:39,944 --> 00:24:45,250 Time and trust is the only thing that will work for people, 526 00:24:45,283 --> 00:24:47,218 and over time you'll see that I'm good. 527 00:24:47,251 --> 00:24:50,955 You can't change someone's mind who thinks that I'm a junkie 528 00:24:50,988 --> 00:24:52,957 and I will always be one. 529 00:24:52,990 --> 00:24:54,225 I'll just have to show them differently. 530 00:24:54,258 --> 00:24:55,793 Man: Are you worried about her? 531 00:24:55,826 --> 00:24:58,129 I worry. I'll always worry. 532 00:24:58,162 --> 00:25:01,633 Whether she smokes a joint or not, 533 00:25:01,666 --> 00:25:03,635 I mean, I would worry anyway. 534 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:04,802 Yeah, I'm always going to worry. 535 00:25:04,835 --> 00:25:06,137 There's no way not to. 536 00:25:06,170 --> 00:25:08,640 Nothing she's doing right now at this moment 537 00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:11,643 is going to put her back in the ICU. 538 00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:14,179 I feel like she's got everything under control. 539 00:25:16,013 --> 00:25:19,183 And that's just how I feel right now. 540 00:25:19,216 --> 00:25:23,221 My sister has prevailed time and time again. 541 00:25:23,254 --> 00:25:25,823 She knows her limits, 542 00:25:25,856 --> 00:25:28,893 um, and I know her. 543 00:25:28,926 --> 00:25:30,662 At the end of the day, I just hope she knows 544 00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:33,998 that I'm always here for her. I have her back. 545 00:25:34,031 --> 00:25:36,834 I think this is the first time that I can comfortably-- 546 00:25:36,867 --> 00:25:38,002 not that I would, 547 00:25:38,035 --> 00:25:39,837 but I could comfortably walk away 548 00:25:39,870 --> 00:25:41,172 with full trust and faith in you 549 00:25:41,205 --> 00:25:43,608 knowing you got this now. 550 00:25:43,641 --> 00:25:45,577 - Thanks. - It's true. 551 00:25:47,345 --> 00:25:49,681 Demi: I decided I'm getting my hair cut on Monday. 552 00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:53,685 I've been thinking about this for, actually, years 553 00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:55,987 and never had the balls to do it. 554 00:25:56,020 --> 00:25:58,323 As I'm talking about this and as I'm healing and growing 555 00:25:58,356 --> 00:26:00,024 and working and doing all this stuff, 556 00:26:00,057 --> 00:26:01,859 it's just that developmental trauma 557 00:26:01,892 --> 00:26:03,661 that really sticks with you 558 00:26:03,694 --> 00:26:07,198 and kind of sticks with everyone to the rest of their lives. 559 00:26:07,231 --> 00:26:10,702 And that's a part of why I'm chopping my hair off, 560 00:26:10,735 --> 00:26:12,203 is because I want to be free of all of that. 561 00:26:12,236 --> 00:26:15,173 I want to be free of not only my developmental trauma, 562 00:26:15,206 --> 00:26:17,709 but the gender norms that were placed on me as a kid 563 00:26:17,742 --> 00:26:19,344 and the sexuality norms 564 00:26:19,377 --> 00:26:21,613 that were placed on me in my church. 565 00:26:21,646 --> 00:26:23,715 I feel like right now it just represents 566 00:26:23,748 --> 00:26:28,353 the femininity that I have always been too afraid 567 00:26:28,386 --> 00:26:29,854 to let go of. 568 00:26:29,887 --> 00:26:33,124 Bye-ee! 569 00:26:33,157 --> 00:26:37,061 It's very symbolic of letting go of my past, 570 00:26:37,094 --> 00:26:38,262 letting go of the old me, 571 00:26:38,295 --> 00:26:39,797 part of me that was too afraid 572 00:26:39,830 --> 00:26:42,400 to really live my truth. 573 00:26:42,433 --> 00:26:44,202 - ( whirring ) - Oh, my God, I feel it! 574 00:26:44,235 --> 00:26:47,905 This whole thing is a learning process for me, too, 575 00:26:47,938 --> 00:26:50,241 of no longer having any fear 576 00:26:50,274 --> 00:26:52,343 and just going forward with what I want to do. 577 00:26:52,376 --> 00:26:54,779 I know that when I get this haircut, 578 00:26:54,812 --> 00:26:57,248 people are going to have opinions and say things. 579 00:26:57,281 --> 00:27:00,652 Some people are going to be like, "Oh, no, why'd she do that?" 580 00:27:00,685 --> 00:27:03,087 "She had great hair." Blah, blah, blah. 581 00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:04,922 I'm not living my life for other people 582 00:27:04,955 --> 00:27:08,092 or their headlines or their Twitter comments. 583 00:27:08,125 --> 00:27:11,929 ♪ I was dancing with the devil ♪ 584 00:27:11,962 --> 00:27:15,033 ♪ Out of control ♪ 585 00:27:15,066 --> 00:27:16,801 Matthew: I pray for her every night. 586 00:27:16,834 --> 00:27:19,103 We talk every single morning and every single evening. 587 00:27:19,136 --> 00:27:21,439 I hope to spend the rest of my life with her. 588 00:27:21,472 --> 00:27:25,176 And I just have to trust in her where she is now. 589 00:27:25,209 --> 00:27:27,211 I absolutely trust her, 590 00:27:27,244 --> 00:27:29,414 but there's always going to be a part of me that's like, 591 00:27:29,447 --> 00:27:32,751 "All right, she could get away with murder." 592 00:27:34,318 --> 00:27:35,887 I've had a lot of lives, 593 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:36,888 like, my cat-- you know? 594 00:27:36,921 --> 00:27:37,955 I'm on my ninth life, 595 00:27:37,988 --> 00:27:39,891 and I don't know how many 596 00:27:39,924 --> 00:27:41,259 opportunities I have left. 597 00:27:41,292 --> 00:27:43,795 It's interesting. Life ebbs and flows. 598 00:27:43,828 --> 00:27:47,699 Life is fluid and I'm fluid, and that's all I know. 599 00:27:47,732 --> 00:27:51,302 ♪ Dancing with the devil ♪ 600 00:27:51,335 --> 00:27:54,305 ♪ Out of control ♪ 601 00:27:54,338 --> 00:27:56,808 ♪ Almost made it to heaven ♪ 602 00:27:56,841 --> 00:27:59,143 ♪ It was closer than you'll know ♪ 603 00:27:59,176 --> 00:28:01,680 ♪ Closer than you'll know ♪ 604 00:28:05,082 --> 00:28:06,384 I think if anyone were to say, 605 00:28:06,417 --> 00:28:08,386 "I've got this figured out, 606 00:28:08,419 --> 00:28:11,089 I know what I'm doing," 607 00:28:11,122 --> 00:28:13,024 you don't know what you're doing. 608 00:28:16,193 --> 00:28:18,329 - Is that a message? - Man: Yeah. 609 00:28:18,362 --> 00:28:20,465 ( Demi laughs ) 610 00:28:20,498 --> 00:28:22,166 ( continues laughing ) 611 00:28:22,199 --> 00:28:24,836 That shit happens to me all the time! 612 00:28:24,869 --> 00:28:26,838 Thank you. At least you got it on camera. 613 00:28:26,871 --> 00:28:28,172 ( laughing ) 614 00:28:28,205 --> 00:28:29,808 Yes!