♪♪
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
♪ I get starstruck around you ♪
♪ What can I do, baby? ♪
Yeah. I'm really excited for this.
Sorry, but do you know those people over there?
'Cause I feel like they're staring at us.
Those are my friends who think they're being discreet.
Great.
Here. I got this for you.
Now I have to run. Catch you after school.
Yeah.
Who was that woman?
Makayla: Wait! Don't tell us.
We took bets.
Terrell bet five
that she's trying to recruit you for a flash mob.
And another five that her name is Randi with an "I."
And then Sarah went all in on "sugar mama."
And then Luke yelled, "That's what I'm talkin' about,"
and then held up his hand that nobody slapped.
And I told them she's clearly an overly dedicated Uber driver.
Named Randi with an "I."
Who is also your sugar mama.
That's what I'm talkin' about.
Come --
You guys. Again?
Well, I hate to disappoint you all,
but that's actually my new gaming manager.
I mean, she thinks I can go pro by the time I'm 18.
Monetizing your interests. I love that for you.
This has been my dream since I was like 6,
but thanks to Andrea, I'm playing an arena game
in San Francisco this Friday!
Plus, I already have a sponsor.
Pocha's Pumpkin Patch.
I only get paid to wear it in October.
Come on. Is -- Is gaming really a career?
Hey, some arena players make millions.
M-M-Millions?
I have a few questions.
no, you cannot be my future lawyer,
and no, you cannot have this jacket.
I was just gonna ask if I could buy you a coffee.
But with that attitude, forget it.
Hey, Luke, wait up.
Who had Luke running off with all our bet money?
Do you guys ever think we have too much caffeine?
No. No. No.
♪♪
Oh, hey! Have a minute to solve world peace?
Ay, no hablo inglés.
It's an old habit. I'm so sorry.
What's up?
Behold...
two rival countries -- Turkey and Greece.
Oh, which is the key to an exceptional Thanksgiving gravy.
Turkey grease.
[ Flatly ] I will never be friends with Greece.
[ British accent ] Only turkeys live in Turkey, old chap.
Hey. Why are you talking like that?
Because I was told that Old English
was the only accent I could do without being offensive, bruv.
Good instinct.
I'm gonna use two super magnets to show what can happen
when adversaries put aside their differences
and come together.
Damn it.
The magnets must have been pointed the wrong way.
Well, unlike the people outside of Whole Foods,
you got my attention.
And I am signing my real name on your petition.
♪♪
Why'd I even bother trying to make a positive change?
Nobody cares.
You know, instead of focusing
on a big issue like world peace,
maybe you could set your sights a notch lower?
Find every stray dog a home?
Several notches lower.
If you want immediate change, you can focus
on a local issue that you're passionate about.
Mmm. Mmm. This is tasty celery juice.
Boy, has my inflammation been reduced.
I'm doing a juice cleanse for Faculty Health Week.
Mmm! Thank you, juice, for cleaning my guts.
[ As juice ] "Oh, you are very welcome, Mr. Escalante."
That's amazing.
His juice voice? Don't encourage him.
No. I just got an idea for my local issue.
Later.
[ Normal voice ] You know, you should participate, too.
It's important we provide
healthy role models for our students.
I really think that ship sailed when I started having Red Bulls
and cheese wheels for a midnight snack.
Okay.
Not everyone has my famous Escalante willpower.
I thought you said you were famous
for knowing all the lyrics to "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba.
Unlike members of Chumbawamba,
I could be famous for more than one thing.
Okay. I'll start thinking of something healthy to do,
like, a -- a good stretch.
I just popped my bra.
♪♪
Hi. Uh, I'm looking for --
You must be Robby's friend!
I'm sorry. Robby?
Gender-neutral names crush on Twitch.
Help yourself to anything.
Hey, you.
Not interested. Gay.
Wait. Robyn?
What in the cosplay hell are you wearing?
It's called a brand.
Her followers are gonna hit 100K by the end of the month.
Um, Robby... [Gags]
What happened to the multicolored hoodie
from Supreme you were telling me about?
Oh! Yeah, that one.
See, I liked it at first,
but then I realized I like money more.
And also, Terry told me it was working for me, so...
Who the hell's Terry?
Check me out! [ Laughs ]
This feels strangely right.
What in the muscle-suit hell are you wearing?
Who cares? I'm hot.
Okay. Next step...
We got to straighten that hair.
Ooh. She went for the hair.
Sit back, 'cause you're about to see
someone get ripped a new B-hole.
Um, yeah. Yeah. Sure. I can be into that.
What?
Robyn, you've been gaining followers on Twitch
just fine by being yourself.
Yes, and now I'm leveling up.
I mean, come on, bro.
You know how long I've wanted to go pro.
So, are you gonna be a part of my entourage, or what?
You know I will. I support you.
Well, in that case, you got to dress the part.
Never in a million years.
Can I put that on over the muscles,
or is this more of an either-or situation?
♪ I'm not giving, not giving you up ♪
♪ I'm not giving you up, up, up ♪
[ Bell rings ]
We've got a lot of debatin' to do.
If it's related to whatever you're doing,
I can tell I'm on the con side.
This is my new exercise ball.
I am killing Faculty Health Week!
Are y'all inspired yet?
Yeah. This is my inspired face.
Cool. I couldn't tell, 'cause you're a little blurry.
Okay. Uh, I have an announcement to make.
I have made a positive local change
here at the school.
Oh, hell yeah! I told her to do that.
Inspired by Health Week, I have banned
Chicken on a Stick from our cafeteria!
Makayla, with all due respect...
[Chuckles] what the hell?!
Why would you get rid of our favorite item in the cafeteria?
Because that chicken is overly processed
and unethically raised.
I'm sorry, but I care about what goes into our bodies.
A mouthful of joy?
[ Stammering ] Do you have this bag on you?
And if so, is it microwavable?
Makayla, Makayla,
I know that your heart's in the right place,
but the thing is --
We have a constitutional right to eat poultry-adjacent meats.
Okay, ignore him. It's just...
we've been eating Chicken on a Stick
since we were in like the first grade.
And your bodies still haven't digested them.
So I'm just supposed to stop eating things I can't digest?
[ Chuckles ] No.
Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys!
Makayla has a point,
and we should support her, like real friends do.
Y'all, Ms. Gomez is right.
I mean, change is never easy.
A lot of things are changing lately.
Relax, okay?
I replaced it with something way more delicious.
Trust me, you all are going to love it.
♪♪
What do you think of the school's new Health Pudding?
Mmm!
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
I can practically taste the health.
Makayla: Thanks.
It feels good.
Wait for it.
She's gone.
[ All groaning ]
I can't tell if the flavor was vanilla or potato.
I don't know, but it was both... crunchy and mushy.
I-I threw up in my mouth,
and I-I couldn't tell which was which.
It wasn't that bad.
You want the rest of mine?
♪♪
So you're probably wondering what I thought of Andrea.
No, actually,
I was wondering if whales have strong familial bonds.
Okay. Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway.
I have a bad feeling she's a fraud.
Andy? No! No way. She's legit.
I used her pumpkin discount code
and got a great deal on a hay ride.
Very boring.
Shocker.
Well, I looked up the address to her office,
and this is the Google Earth image.
The Quiznos?
Holy crap! She's a franchisee?!
No. It's the little door next to it.
I'm pretty sure that's a dead rat in front of it.
Anyway, does this look like the international headquarters
of a high-flying manager?
Okay. Yeah. That is pretty sus.
We should check it out.
Best case, we bust her. Worst case, we get toasty subs.
[ Whispering ] Hey. Sarah.
How would you like to make a little cash?
Okay. Who do you need publicly shamed?
Everybody in the school hates Makayla's Health Pudding.
I love money. You love power. Your mom has keys.
Let's sell underground Chicken on a Stick.
Do I like money enough to go into business with you?
Yes, I do.
"Black-market chicken bros" on three?
One...two...
And I regret this already.
...three! Black-market chick--
You got to be here for it.
♪♪
Why are you recording? Are we not undercover?
No.
Why did you insist on all black?
[ Exhales sharply ] It's slimming.
I'm recording so Robyn can see the rat-infested crap hole
her scam-ager works out of and --
These must be some rich-ass rats.
Hot towel? Kiwi-infused sparkling water?
Oh-oh! It's like I'm flying business class on Delta.
Yeah, right.
All they did was microwave some hand towels,
buy a soda stream, and hire a bunch of Berkeley girls.
I went to Stanford.
[ Chuckling ] Ooh-hoo!
Look, Robyn is clearly in good hands.
That's what Andrea wants you to think.
Something's not right about her. Trust me.
I need you to have my back on this.
Okay. Always.
Terry?
[ Chuckles ]
Mwah! Mwah!
What are you guys doing here?
Uh, Miles actually wanted to --
I'm a gamer, like Robyn.
And he -- h-he's always just like the, uh, uh,
"Pew-pew! Pew-pew-pew-pew!
Aim! Shoot! Duck! I win!"
That -- That's him.
Anyways, I'm clearly not gonna sign with just anybody,
so I'd like to see your client list.
Oh. Sorry. I don't share that.
Is that because you don't have any clients?
What are you getting at?
Hey, guys. What are you doing here?
Feels like your friend has an issue with me.
Oh, that's not true.
Right, Miles?
Miles, look at me.
Hello?
Come on, Terry.
All right, dude... talk.
It's just that...
this woman is changing your look and making you act different.
Some people may say she's a bad influence.
Some people may say that some people sound jealous.
Some people may say they're confused
about which people we're talking about right now.
I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into.
What, you think I just walked in here without doing any research?
You know I've wanted this more than anything.
I know you do, and that is why I'm worried --
I haven't signed anything!
My parents know about it,
and I know how to take care of myself, okay?
Robyn --
This is uncool.
If this was you getting your first role on Broadway,
I'd be excited for you.
♪♪
You get an "A," you get an "A." Everybody gets an "A!"
This ball makes me feel like Oprah!
[ Pop ]
Crap!
Makayla: Whoa.
I think I broke my tailbone.
Well, in the words of Mr. Escalante,
"You get knocked down, you get up again."
Ow! Honey, those are not his words.
Trust me.
Well, you're smiley.
I'm just feeling good
about making a positive local change.
This feels like the real start of my career as an activist.
All thanks to you.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go fill out a return receipt.
And hey, if anybody asks,
it got delivered to me that way.
[ Door opens, closes ]
What the stick?
♪♪
More sticks?
Bird me.
That'll be $2.50.
[ Scoffs ]
You know what? Make it $5.
If you would like to go somewhere else
for your Chicken on a Stick, be my guest.
Oh! Oh, that's right. There is nowhere else.
Give us the cash.
[ Knock on door ]
[ Singsong ] What...do you need?
[ Screams ]
Makayla.
Hi. Your hair looks nice.
[ Whispering ] I just need one second.
We got to get rid of the evidence!
Make your big mouth useful for once and chow down!
[ Muffled ] Get it --
What are you doing?
[ Muffled ] What does it look like?
You're running an illegal Chicken on a Stick ring,
and you're trying to get rid of the evidence!
[ Muffled ] I think you're being a little paranoid, Makayla.
This makes sense from Luke.
But you, Sarah? You're the last person I expected to see here.
Bird me! Mama's got a sore tush.
I should go after her.
One for the road.
Thanks, kid.
♪♪
Uh, hey. Have you seen Makayla?
No. Why are you walking weird?
Why do you look weird?
Well, it's not 'cause I'm hungry, 'cause I'm not.
[ Chuckles ] Juice is doing the work of food.
Makayla! There you are.
Hey.
Look, I know that you're mad at me.
I'm not mad.
I'm just disappointed.
Straight out of my mom's playbook.
That cut deep.
I thought you all liked my changes,
but you were just being fake.
Who said "steaks"?
'Cause that's not what I want.
I'm healthy.
Look, you can make positive change.
You just can't make people go along with it overnight.
Real activism takes compromise.
So I need to find an alternative that speaks to weak people --
like you -- while preserving my ideals.
A little editorial license taken there,
but that's basically it.
Thanks, Ms. Gomez. That's a good thought.
Who's got tater tots?
Hey, can I have a sip?
Yeah.
Snap out of it, man!
That is a better use of the juice.
♪♪
Robyn: What do you think?
[ Gasps ] You look perfect!
And after tonight, your life's gonna change.
You're gonna be the star of so many memes.
You really think so?
I mean, I just kind of wish all my friends were here.
Lyles and Terry?
You don't need them. You got me.
You're gonna win so many tournaments,
you're gonna be Rihanna rich.
I'm talkin' world travel.
I do have a dream of watching boys cry in every time zone.
Okay. So let's get going to the event.
Grab your bag, check your makeup,
sign this real quick, hop in the limo, and we're off.
Wait. What am I signing real quick?
Oh, it's just a boilerplate agreement.
You know, legal gobbledygook. Blah.
And is this "legal gobbledygook blah"
another term for "shady as hell"?
I don't know what you're talking about, Robby.
So you saw a gamer girl
and just assumed I was an idiot, didn't you?
I'm not giving you 80% of my winnings.
All my clients sign it. It's standard.
Do all your clients also give you full ownership
of their Twitch streams?
I can't believe Miles was right.
Oh, Robby. You're so green!
I don't see any other managers knocking at your door.
It's Robyn.
And I don't need a manager. I've got me.
Also, I'm keeping this outfit
'cause I forgot to bring a change of clothes.
[ Bell chimes ]
Okay, well, you better get used to deleting
your own voicemails.
Ooh! Sick burn!
And, by the way, Robyn's already a gender-neutral name.
♪♪
Ta-da!
Surprise!
Why are you dressed like a sad sloth?
Its energy really resonates with me.
And if I'm gonna be a part of your entourage,
I've got to dress the part.
Babe, you look hysterical.
But I feel terrible,
especially about the way I acted earlier.
I was wrong to go off on Andrea,
although it felt pretty good to talk down to an adult.
I'm sure that she's a gr--
[ Singsong ] I knew it!
I mean what happened?
She was basically trying to own my whole life.
I mean, who did I think I was gonna be, the next Miss Rage?
You could totally rage out, you know?
[ Growls ]
Aah! Grr!
No. She's my favorite gamer.
Oh.
You know, there's nothing impossible about your dream.
You're good enough to go pro.
Yeah. When I game, I do make a lot of guys cry on the regular.
Again, I had allergies.
My point is, you're gaining followers on Twitch
because of you.
The real you could go pro.
Aww.
Well, the real me wants to get out of this costume.
[ Plastic creaking ]
Me too.
I probably look ridiculous.
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
[ Gasps ] Oh, my God!
I look like the cutest boy on Earth!
Why are you not hugging me?
Ooh!
Okay, take -- take pictures.
Okay, okay, okay.
Here he is. We said angles!
♪ I feel like all these people in this room ♪
♪ Don't shine like you ♪
Hey. Everyone's asking when the new shipment's coming in.
It's already here.
So then why are you holding it?
Oh, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.
You have so much to learn about the black-market chicken trade.
You see, it's a simple thing called "supply and demand."
The longer they wait, the more they'll pay.
Oh, Luke, Luke, Luke.
God, I love when mansplaining goes wrong.
Hey! Who's your supplier?
A small farm not far from here.
Actually, this is really delicious.
Way better than our bathroom birds.
Thank you, Judas, for weighing in.
Hey, check it. I'm Chicken Wolverine.
[ Laughs ]
And these sticks don't even give me splinters.
Well...
w-what am I gonna do with 300 bootleg Chicken on a Sticks?
My cleanse is officially over.
I'm ready to chew.
My teeth are all, "Put me in, Coach!"
Mr. Escalante, could I interest you
in some cheap chicken I have hidden in my locker?
Lead the way.
Hey, kiddo. I am really proud of you.
I mean, you did it.
You compromised, and you made a real, positive change.
It's like that one time when I wanted a pet,
but I realized I was not responsible enough,
so I got a plant instead.
Which died. But you get the point.
Kind of.
Look. I'm -- I'm Chicken Freddy Krueger.
Oh, yeah? I'm Edward Chickenhands.
[ Chuckling ] That's a good one.
♪♪
[ Dragon growls, man screams ]
Robyn: Whoa! I just crushed you guys!
Yo, not even close!
Hey, at least you guys didn't cry.
Luke: [ Voice breaking ] Totally.
Thanks for inviting us over.
[ Voice breaking ] Stupid allergies.
What's the freakin' pollen count in here?
Unh-unh. We're not done. Get back here.
[ Singsong ] Thank you!
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
♪ I get starstruck around you ♪
♪ What can I do, baby? ♪
♪ I can't help it ♪
♪ I get starstruck around you ♪
♪ What can I do? ♪
♪ I'm not giving, not giving you up ♪
♪ I'm not giving, not giving you up, up, up, no ♪
♪ I can't help it ♪
♪ I get starstruck around you ♪
♪ What can I do, baby? ♪
♪ I can't help it ♪
♪ I get starstruck around you ♪