Stop! Lucy!
I'm looking for my father.
You are my world.
He was kidnapped by this woman named Moldaver.
You need to go home.
Vault Dwellers are an endangered species here.
You come from a world of rules, of laws.
This place is indifferent to all of that.
I'm not going back without my dad.
Then you will have to adapt.
A bounty came down.
Somebody made a run... From the Enclave.
This target has with him an object
of profound potential
to harm our nation
or to save it.
- Where is it? - You can't treat people like this!
Yeah? Why's that?
Because of the golden rule.
"Do unto others as you would have done unto you."
What are you?
Oh, I'm you, sweetie.
You just give it a little time.
Vault-Tec is the largest company in America.
There’s a lot of money in selling the end of the world.
- What is it? - It's a listening device.
You want me to spy on my wife?
I will do whatever it takes to make sure the people I love--
That is you and that is Janey--
Go into a special Vault for management.
America has been locked in a resource war.
Vault-Tec bought the means to end that war.
Cold Fusion. Infinite energy.
Whoo.
A nuclear event would be a tragedy.
But also an opportunity.
Because war, well...
War never changes.
The water chip is destroyed.
The Vault only has enough water to keep our population alive for two months.
We are the lucky ones.
Three Vaults separated to prevent the spread of threats.
You don't think it's weird that we always elect an Overseer from Vault 31?
Steph's from Vault 31.
Some of us will be moving into Vault 32 to start anew.
Is this where my dad's from?
These are Bud's Buds.
My Buds. A well-trained staff
of highly supervised junior executives
from my own assistant training program.
Because the future of humanity comes down to one word:
management.
You know, I actually have to get back home.
My name isn't Titus. It's Maximus.
Titus is the name of the Knight who owned this suit before me.
You're a good person.
The Wasteland sucks.
The Brotherhood.
They're never gonna stop looking for the artifact.
Find me.
I will.
Give me my dad back.
But first...
What if I tell you who he really is?
Shady Sands.
Your father burned that city to the ground.
I wonder if anyone survived.
I did.
If the problem with the world is factions,
endlessly fighting, endlessly at war,
then what is the solution but to get rid of the factions?
To make the world us,
only ours to shape.
You see what this place does to people?
Now I've waited over 200 years
to ask somebody one question.
Where's my fuckin' family?
It's easier to track a stuck pig
than to ask it where it's off to.
Now you can stay here
or you could come meet your makers.
Okey-dokey.
All hail Knight Maximus!
You look out at this Wasteland,
looks like chaos.
But there’s always somebody behind the wheel.
♪ Heaven ♪
♪ I'm in heaven ♪
Could I help you have a better day?
♪ And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak ♪
♪ And I seem to find... ♪
Look, our primary concern at RobCo Industries
is creating greater efficiency in the workplace.
If the American government needs a hand
in settling our more international disputes...
Well they know who to call.
Goddamn parasite is what he is.
We didn't vote for this dumb maggot.
Oh, yes we did.
Every dollar spent is a vote cast.
And that fellow right there, he has more votes
than every one of those pan-headed politicians in Washington.
You his biggest fan or somethin'?
Why yes.
Yes, I believe I am.
And if the will of the American people was to endow that man
with a significant portion of its wealth, well...
Well, good golly, that can't be a bad thing now, can it?
What trade are you in, friend?
Construction.
Ah. So you must use the H&H Nail Gun.
It's a marvelous machine.
Nice in the hands, smooth action.
Sure beats using a silly old hammer, doesn't it?
Why, I thought you'd be grateful.
"Grateful."
I think you're in the wrong bar, pal.
Hmm, obsolescence.
It's a heck of a thing.
You know, I try and see it from your perspective,
but it's hard to imagine being so dim
as to be caught off guard by the inevitable.
Ah... Ah!
Hit me in the mouth.
I think I'd enjoy it.
I'm rarely wrong, but let's move on.
That is $31 million.
Now, what would you do for all of that money?
Short of ideas?
Well, that's no surprise. How 'bout I offer you one?
Allow me to put this...
On the back of your neck.
What the hell is it?
Oh, just call it good old-fashioned market research.
All I'm asking you to do is to insert this
into the back of your neck,
and all that nice money right there is yours.
How about I break those hands you've never used?
See if you even notice.
Then we'll take his money.
- These fucking rich people are so-- - Eh, well...
I'd like for you to do me a small favor.
Get rid of your friends.
Bill.
Bill. Oh!
Ooh!
Oh, you fellows do use the H&H Nail Gun!
You should feel good about it.
You paid for all of this!
♪ Heaven ♪
♪ Ooh, I'm in heaven ♪
The world may end, but progress marches on.
♪ And I seem to find the happiness I seek ♪
♪ When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek ♪
Khans!
I got something real exciting for you today.
This asshole has been tormentin' us Khans
since before your granddaddies were born.
And today!
Some little bounty hunter put him right in our fuckin' laps.
So, now we settle the score!
How do you feel about that?
Didn't that used to be a store?
I think I bought a soda pop there 'bout 25 years back.
Are you about fuckin' done?
We got some justice to--
Darla! Yeah, woman behind the counter, her name was Darla.
She was a reasonable woman
'til you matching-jacket motherfuckers had to move in.
Well, it's been nice chattin' with y'all, but if it's okay with you...
I'm about ready to get on with it.
What, you can't hear me?
I'll say it louder. I said...
I'm about ready to get on with it.
To get on with it!
Fuck.
- Well, you-- - Hi, excuse me.
Hi.
'Scuse me. So sorry.
I'm hoping you can settle an argument
between myself and my traveling companion there.
We are hunting down my father, who is not a good guy.
And on this journey, we found ourselves in need of food and supplies.
Plan A was to leave you alone and avoid this scenario altogether,
but we've tried that, and I'd just start starving to death.
Plan B-- his idea, by the way-- Was for me to turn him over to you
so that you would open up your safe and give me
the considerable bounty you put out on him.
- Fucking shoot! - The idea was I would shoot him down,
he'd take your weapons,
and use whatever violence necessary in order for us to escape.
Which, in my experience thus far is...
It's a lot of violence, so...
I'm really, really hoping you'll agree to Plan C?
What's Plan C?
You just let us go.
And we keep the caps you gave me,
which to be clear, we do need for our survival.
And just to ask the question, would it help if I said "please"?
Whoever kills the girl gets to eat the dog.
Okey-dokey!
Ah, jeez.
Ah, fuck!
Fucking amateur.
♪ To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day ♪
♪ Hardly spoke to folks around him ♪
♪ Didn't have too much to say ♪
♪ No one dared to ask his business, no one dared to make a slip ♪
♪ The stranger there among them ♪
♪ Had a big iron on his hip, big iron on his hip ♪
♪ It was early in the morning when he rode into the town ♪
♪ He came riding from the south side, slowly looking all around ♪
♪ "He's an outlaw loose and running," came the whisper from each lip ♪
♪ And he's here to do some business ♪
♪ With the big iron on his hip ♪
♪ Big iron, big iron ♪
♪ When he tried to match the Ranger with the big iron on his hip ♪
♪ Big iron on his hip ♪
I know you think you being helpful...
Shootin' folks in the kneecaps and the ass.
But if I'm being honest, you ain't.
I'm not gonna apologize for not murdering people.
Well all that matters to me is you shoot that fuckin' rope.
Well, I did, didn't I?
Still looks like all the old photos.
Bombs got shot down.
Most of 'em, anyway.
Well, if they could do that for Las Vegas,
why couldn't they just do that for America?
Because there was no "they."
There was a "him."
A man by the name of Robert House.
Maybe that's where your family went. They're safe there.
Nowhere near Robert House is safe.
Why would my dad go to Las Vegas?
There's a lot of earning potential
with the end of the world.
How can you guarantee results?
By dropping the bomb ourselves.
Janey? Honey?
- Janey! - Daddy.
- Hey. Hey. - Daddy.
Listen to me.
I want you to go to your room, okay?
And I want you to pick out your three favorite outfits
and your favorite toy, okay?
And then meet me back here.
Okay, go.
♪ Make the world go away ♪
♪ And get it off my shoulders ♪
♪ Say the things you used to say... ♪
Where are we going, Daddy?
♪ And make the world go away ♪
Bakersfield.
Um, we're gonna go to Bakersfield, sweetie, okay?
What about Mommy?
- Is she coming with us? - Please be advised,
the test of the Civil Alert Broadcast System...
...for Los Angeles County
will commence in ten seconds.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
♪ And make the world go away ♪
♪ Make the world go away ♪
Get inside!
Commencing test. Repeat...
This is a test.
It's just a test!
We need to go right now!
We're all going to die!
Daddy, I'm scared.
- Come here. - I'm scared.
It's okay. It's okay.
♪ Make the world go away ♪
♪ And get it off my shoulders ♪
♪ Say the things you used to say ♪
It's okay.
♪ And make the world go away ♪
We're blowing through our water reserves at... at a troubling rate.
Then we need to reallocate power
to the temporary water filters we built out of spare parts.
Hey, guys.
Can I help you, Reg?
Have you seen Norm?
Norm has been sent for a leadership exchange program to Vault 31.
Everyone's moving up in the world but me.
Reg, this community has always done what it takes to survive.
I guess so.
- Whatcha guys working on? - The water chip.
Which we need to survive. Which is broken.
Oh, right, yeah, that.
Let me know if I can help.
I'm no engineer, but you'd be surprised
what a guy with a PhD in Event Planning can...
Maybe you should find an outlet.
Start a club or something.
A club?
What kind of club?
We've been through a lot lately.
Maybe you could start a group for people
to talk about any kind of feelings you may be feeling.
What kind of feelings am I feeling?
Shame? Uselessness?
I don't feel useless.
But I like shame.
Shame, I can work with.
There would need to be a snack budget, of course.
Send a supplies request, and I'll sign it.
Heavy is the crown.
You don't know the half of it.
So, you see what I'm up against.
In 33, I leave my quarters, take a right turn,
another right turn to the elevator.
Here in 32, it's a left, and a left to the elevator.
Yup, again, everything is the other way here,
so just do the opposite of what you used to do.
I'm not sure it's that simple.
It is.
Now, look, as your Overseer, I have to ask...
Is there anything remotely actionable here?
Something I can do for you?
Signage.
No, th-that could be controversial.
Maybe you could commission a feasibility study
on the topic of signage.
Heck of a wife you got, Chet.
We're not actually married.
- And a beautiful baby. - Not mine.
I never had a family. What happened?
Life, I guess.
Things move quickly down here.
I don't have a family either, Davey.
Well, enjoy it.
This way...
Oh, it's just you.
Whew!
That Davey, I mean...
Bless his heart, but, you know.
Just seeing if you've gotten around to giving me a job assignment yet.
Just 'cause, you know, everyone else has one.
Uh, if you haven't chosen a Gate-Keeper yet, I have experience.
Chet, I've been busy.
And I need someone to take care of the baby,
and it's used to you.
But he is not my baby.
Everyone is acting like he is--
Chet.
Would you at least consider giving him a name?
Because the neighbors have started to call him Chet Jr.
Let's go with that then.
Well, see, Chet Jr. Was my father's name.
It's, uh, sort of a personal area for me,
having watched him die of starvation in the Weevil Famine.
Chet? Are we having an argument?
Chet Jr. it is.
Oh, how are you with computers?
Mm. That was Norm's department.
Maybe you can ask him in the terminal.
Great idea.
I'll just send the other Vault a message.
Okay.
Cod ham cheese and rice!
Oh, no, no, no, no!
Inter-Vault Communications disabled?
Alright, let's see. Where is he?
Where is he? Where are you?!
I'm coming for you.
I'm coming for you!
I'll be right there.
Oh God, look at this mess!
You really are a disgusting, filthy animal, aren't you?
Well I hope you aren't expecting me to clean this up.
Hmm.
So you found water, but you're out of food.
Starvation is a heck of a way to kick the bucket.
I'm offering you a much more dignified solution
to the one you've chosen for yourself, son of Hank.
Get in your dad's cryo pod.
I'm not gonna be your prisoner.
You're already my prisoner.
All you have to do is wait until the surface is safe to recolonize.
Then, we'll all head up for Reclamation Day.
And when is that, exactly?
When there's no one left on the surface to disagree with us.
Or you could just let me go home.
People are gonna notice I'm missing.
Oh, we have a protocol for everything,
including when someone goes missing from a Vault.
Your Overseer will handle it. No one is comin' for you, buddy.
Maybe you'll be more reasonable once you're a little hungrier.
Good luck finding something to eat when you can't see.
You're living in my world.
These three Vaults are the product of decades of strategizing.
The combined efforts of hundreds of the brightest pre-war minds
with all the resources of a functioning civilization.
You're just some malcontent who wandered down the wrong corridor.
What hope do you have against the greatest achievement
in the history of Vertical Integration?
Face it, son of Hank.
You're in over your head.
And no one is coming to save you.
So, you think my dad
is gonna lead you to your family.
Which means you think your family's still alive
after 200 years, and somehow, I'm the optimistic one?
Your daddy.
Always makin' new friends.
She musta seen 'im pass by.
W-We can just ask her.
'Scuse me!
Hi, there.
I'd like one bowl of...
Flea soup.
Sure.
So, um, just wondering if you happened to see...
I got some crackers if you want 'em.
They're in my other pants.
Oh, uh, I'm okay, but...
Eat it while it's hot, Miss.
Mm!
Yeah.
So, have you happened to have seen a... a man passing by
in a sort of oversized outfit made of metal?
He took my son.
Oh. I'm sure your son is, um--
He's dead.
No, we don't know that.
No.
He's dead.
Just my kind of luck.
Cocksucker owed me money.
- I'm sorry for... money. - Mm.
He went that way.
Thank you.
You find any money on the body, it's mine!
Question. What exactly is it
you plan on doin' once we find your daddy?
We gonna do it like usual?
You put a bullet in his ass,
leave it to me to put one in his head?
No, I'm...
Gonna bring him to justice.
You think he deserves that?
I was raised to believe that's what everyone deserves,
so people know that how they conduct themselves matters,
and they don't give up hope.
Like you say you did but, really, it's still in there.
Well, I hate to break it to you, darlin',
but the way you was raised wasn't real.
I know that. But look at your alternative.
Guess I'm just trying to lead by example.
They sat around that table
and they talked about the ending of the world
like they were talking about a new business strategy.
Sounds like you heard something interesting.
What, you knew?
And now, you do, too, so what are we gonna do about it?
What do you mean, "What are we gonna do about it?"
I told you. I'm not a spy.
I'm not a red. I'm a fuckin' Hollywood actor
who likes horses and cars.
And you also happen to be famous.
And fame is a rare kind of power.
You get to sit in rooms that I can't, meet people that I could never--
Meet... meet people like who?
Are you familiar with Robert House?
Yeah, I'm familiar with Robert House.
The guy owns half of Las Vegas.
He's also building a privately owned missile system in Las Vegas...
With enough firepower to follow through on your wife's proposals.
When the bombs drop, it'll be Robert House
that presses the button.
Are you asking me to spy on the wealthiest man in America?
Not spy on him.
- You want me to-- - Your wife is going to Vegas next week
to sell Cold Fusion to Robert House.
Then, he'll have everything he needs
to press that button
unless you stop him.
Play nice with your wife and get on that trip to Vegas.
Where are you going?
Home, while I still have one.
When the world goes down in flames,
at least you'll know your hands are clean.
Janey, let's go.
Come on. Come on.
- What? - Come on.
In business news, West Tek stocks are up again amid reports
their latest biological products...
...will revolutionize skincare.
Meanwhile, RobCo owner Robert House
created a stir today with remarks on the escalating war.
In an interview with Galaxy News, he stated that the question
might not be whether the world will end,
but merely who will push the button.
More on that story after a word from our sponsors.
Yum Yum Deviled Eggs!
Welcome home.
Looks like Daddy took a detour.
Never seen a Vault like this before.
Par for the course, in my experience.
You've been to a lot of Vaults?
Uh-huh.
Oh.
You must like 'em.
Every time I step foot in one of these concrete shoeboxes...
I gotta make peace with the fact that I might finally learn
what happened to my wife and my daughter.
Whether they be alive, dead, or...
Something far worse.
Right.
I know about the experiments.
I've been to Vault four.
Vault four is the best-case scenario.
Well, to be fair, it was a little weirder than the one I came from.
You think so?
How many towns did they destroy down in Vault four?
Open it.
You really think my dad is down there?
The trail has him comin' in.
Trail has him goin' out, too.
But what I'm curious about...
Is why he even came at all.
Ain't you a little curious, too?
It's not your fault you were born in a Vault.
Let me hear you say it.
It's not my fault I was born in a Vault.
And it's not your fault that your parents were or are related.
And it's not my fault my parents...
- ...were related. - ...were or are related.
Feels good to say it out loud, doesn't it?
That's just the first step.
Trust me, as someone who's come out on the other side of this,
I know what it's like to wonder if people
look down their noses at you based on your family tree.
A regular person can have an ingrown toenail,
and it's just an ingrown toenail.
But we?
We have to wonder if it's because our genes are somehow broken.
If I am somehow broken.
So, we're gonna change the rules, right?
Hm?
No inbreeding in the Vault.
We're gonna change that, right?
No. That... That's not what this is about.
The rules are good. But that doesn't mean those of us
who are products of inbreeding need to feel bad.
You understand?
Come on.
- I have a question. - Uh, yes, Marianne.
- I have a mild allergy to dust. - Mm.
And sometimes I wonder if it was my father's fault
because he fell in love with his cousin... my mother.
I just wonder if there's a biological connection.
I didn't study genetics, so...
Oh, well, okay.
It certainly could be his fault.
I knew it! Great snacks, by the way.
You know, I always felt my mother viewed me as a rival,
which mirrored her relationship with her own mother,
who was in love with my father, her fifth cousin.
All the fifth cousins were fourth cousins to the second cousins.
I mean, it's not exactly...
♪ It's all over ♪
♪ But the crying ♪
It won't be long now.
♪ And nobody's crying ♪
You must be so hungry
and so thirsty.
Why torture yourself when there's a nice, cozy cryo pod
just waitin' for you to hop into?
- ♪ Friends all over ♪ - What was my dad like?
Ambitious.
Then why was he here?
Well, being one of Bud's Buds
was a highly coveted position back in the day.
We had applicants from as far out as Fresno.
Mmm. Eating that might seem like a good idea, but it's toxic.
You'll die a slow, painful death.
If you aren't willing to go into cryo, you could always let me inject you
with this guy right here.
It really would be a whole lot easier. For both of us.
- What does it do? - It kills you, quick and painless.
Your body will rapidly decompose, turning into a dust
that will get circulated through the ventilation system,
ultimately making its way into your cornfields back home.
Not so bad, if you think about it.
Then, you won't have to deal with all the headaches of being alive.
So, you have two rational choices.
Get in your dad's pod. Or die.
You're right, I only have two rational choices.
But plenty of irrational ones.
What are you doing?
Two hundred years of planning in order for everything to go just right.
That seems like a lot of work, if you ask me.
Stay back. Stay back.
Aah!
I think plans are slightly overrated, personally.
No, no, no, no. Wait, I need that to threaten you.
- What are you doing? - Thawing everyone.
What? No! You can't just thaw them all.
No, no, no. They're supposed to come out once every 30 years.
This isn't even a cogent plan. It's just chaos.
Agreed. Plans are hard.
Chaos, though... Chaos is easy.
More matching jackets.
Why would Vault-Tec allow Communists in one of their Vaults?
I wouldn't be so sure they did.
Individual is secondary to the collective.
...true comrade chooses cooperation over individualism.
Our enemy has chosen the interest of product
over the interest of people.
We choose people over product.
These are Americans.
The Vault turned them into Communists.
Freedom is inevitable.
The revolution will not be futile.
The individual is secondary to the collective.
My dad removed the drive.
Well hello there, Sugarbomb!
Looks like your daddy picked himself up a guinea pig.
What do you want?
I...
Fix... everything.
Go home...
Sugarbomb.
Go home!
Go!
Ho-a-a-a!
You ever seen your daddy use one of these before?
No.
You gonna take his advice?
He won't stop hurting people.
Yeah, no shit.
Well, then we better get going.
You have...
...462,311 unread messages.
Let's get to it.
♪ Hey now, you better listen to me ♪
- ♪ Every one of you ♪ - ♪ Ooh! ♪
♪ We've got a lotta, lotta, lotta, lotta work to do ♪
Mm!
♪ Forget about your women and that water can ♪
♪ Ooh! ♪
♪ Today you're working for the man ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
- ♪ Ooh! Ooh! ♪ - ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Well, pick up your feet, we've got a deadline to meet ♪
♪ I'm gonna see you make it on time ♪
♪ Oh, don't relax, I want elbows and backs ♪
♪ I wanna see everybody from behind ♪
- ♪ Ooh! ♪ - ♪ 'Cause you're working for the man ♪
♪ Working for the man ♪
♪ You gotta make him a hand ♪
♪ Working for the man ♪
♪ Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! ♪
♪ Ooh! ♪
This is Hank MacLean, reporting for duty, sir.
Nobody in Vault-Tec knows I'm here.
And nobody in Vault-Tec knows much of anything anymore.
Wanted to let you know I'm still alive.
I hope you are, too.
I mean, I don't doubt that you are.
You spent so much time...
Calculating how to survive all possible contingencies.
Uh, I've been keeping busy.
I'm in Vegas these days,
back in your old stomping grounds, actually...
Trying to pick up where you all left off.
Looks like a couple of the Vault experiments
ran into some speed bumps.
24 made progress on the brain-computer interface.
This one, miniaturization.
What it all needs is integrating.
But I'm confident that if I just roll up my sleeves,
I can bring it all home for you.
Then, we can finally talk about my promotion.
I'm gonna complete the work you started.
And when this is all over, you will be begging me to help you.
♪ 'Cause the company ♪
♪ And the daughter you see ♪
♪ They're both gonna be all mine ♪
- ♪ Ooh! ♪ - ♪ Yeah, I'm gonna be the man ♪
♪ I'm gonna be the man ♪
♪ Gotta make him a hand ♪
♪ If I'm gonna be the man ♪
♪ Ooh! Ooh! ♪
♪ So, I'm picking 'em up and I'm laying 'em down ♪
♪ I believe he's gonna work me into the ground ♪
♪ I pull to the left, I heave to the right ♪
♪ I oughta kill him, but it wouldn't be right ♪
- ♪ Ooh! ♪ - ♪ 'Cause I'm working for the man ♪
♪ Working for the man ♪
♪ I gotta make him a hand ♪
♪ Working for the man ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ - ♪ Ooh! ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ - ♪ Ooh! ♪
♪ Well, the boss man's daughter sneaks me water ♪
♪ Every time her daddy's down the line ♪
♪ She says, meet me tonight, love a me right ♪
♪ And everything is gonna be fine ♪
♪ So, I slave all day without much pay ♪
♪ But I'm just biding my time ♪
♪ 'Cause the company and the daughter, you see ♪
♪ They're both gonna be all mine ♪
♪ Ooh! ♪
Together...
We will fulfill our promise.
To make better this fallen world.
Sorry to interrupt.
I understand we're discussing a civil war.
The Commonwealth are gonna kill us all.
Unless I can stop it.
What do we always say?
Most kids are dead by this age!
I'm looking for someone.
What do you plan to do to him when you find him?
What say you, Miss MacLean?
Your family may very well still be out there.
But one thing I wouldn't count on
is them appreciating the kind of person you've become.
There are worse people out there than me.
Don't you know what they say in Vegas?
Everyone's a winner! Eventually.
Same goes for losing, in my experience.
Except for one man.
Mr. Howard.
I know that you came to Vegas to kill me.
Did you not?
And I don't know yet how you play a part in ending the world.
But you most certainly do.
If you don't help us, there won't be a Vault 33 anymore.
Dad, if you can hear me...
What's gonna happen to our Vault?
My little Sugarbomb.