Thank you so much for letting me ask her a few questions.
So--
Germain just landed. He and the captain are in a squad car on the way here, so…
Okay.
Hi, honey. You're not in trouble.
I just wanna ask you, what do you remember from tonight?
This night was so much fun!
Okay! Tell me about it.
I came to school because Veronica had an emergency.
When I got to school, I saw Mommy hugging a man and maybe kissing him too?
This is Kevin Koala.
He played with my koala and made him sing silly,
like, "G'day, crikey, wallaby, billabong."
When Daddy was going to take me home,
the silly singing man still had my koala.
I wanted it, so I said…
He has my koala! I want my koala!
And Daddy said, "Okay, okay. We'll get your koala."
And then, we were like, vroom, vroom!
-Yeah! -We were driving really, really fast.
It was so much fun. Vroom!
I said, "Can I have some fruit snacks?"
And Daddy said, "Okay." But he didn't give them to me.
Vroom!
And then, Daddy got out and told me, "Wait right here."
And then, the man who serves the food on the trays
came out of the garage and saw me, and said,
"Are you just gonna leave your kid in the car unattended?"
"Don't tell me how to parent! I left the window down a crack."
He whomped him on the nose.
And then, he went inside.
And then I waited a long time.
It was so boring.
I decided I better go tell Daddy that he forgot to give me the fruit snacks,
since he'd really want to know that.
When I went into the party, it was so cool.
Walt.
The man who sang with the koala was sleeping on the floor.
"Do you wanna come draw on the silly sleeping man?"
Yeah. I'm a great drawer. I'll draw a kitty.
Then I saw the big picture of the man from Hungry Hungry Hippos.
It's my favorite movie.
Von Poacher injected them with a serum that makes them hungry.
How hungry?
Hungry hungry.
Here they come.
Then, the most amazing thing happens.
Got 'em!
You gotta run!
-Okay, Maggie? -Yeah?
Can you get back to the story, please, honey?
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
I was exploring the party when, all of a sudden--
"Oh, my gosh."
-Uh-oh. -Daddy saw me!
So I decided we're playing hide-and-seek.
Now Daddy won't recognize me.
Ten! Ten! Ten! Ten!
"Maggie, I see you in that wig."
Didn't work.
-"Excuse me. Sorry." -Walt. Walt. Walt.
-Walt. Walt. Walt. Walt. Walter. -"Out of my way, please."
"Gotcha."
"Did Mommy see you?"
No, but I saw Mommy. I saw her with the singing man.
"You saw her? With him?
Was it Xavier? What were they doing?"
He was the guy we saw at the school.
I think they were smooching.
Then he said, "I have one more thing to do.
Then we gotta go home as fast as we can."
So when he said that last part, did he say it in a nice way?
No. He was using his thunder voice.
"Smooching? I have one more thing to do.
Then we gotta go home as fast as we can!
Do not leave this car until I come back!
Xavier!"
And then there was some screaming, and then I fell asleep.
So he wanted to do one more thing, and then there was screaming, huh?
Can we maybe not do that in front of her?
Hey, sweetie, is there anything else that you remember seeing or hearing or…
Anything at all?
Well, I did see one more thing, but it was kind of a bad thing.
Tell me about it.
I peeked out when I heard all the screaming,
and the front door was kinda open, but I couldn't see much.
But I did see the pregnant lady named number 2 screaming upset
because she peed on the floor.
She said, "My water broke!"
But I knew she was peeing because it came from inside her dress.
She wasn't even holding a water!
I think you're right about that. I might have slipped in that earlier.
Look, call Matsuno. Tell him to check all the local hospital maternity wards.
Thank you so much. You did a great job. Give me five.
Yeah! You're awesome.
Zoë, one last question.
You said that you and Chelsea stepped towards the bar
when Aniq woke up to see what was happening?
Yeah.
How long would you say you were away from the stairs?
-For maybe, like, one minute? -Thank you.
I need to go upstairs and check out Xavier's room really quick,
and then I'll be ready to make an arrest.
So who did it?
Just gather everybody up in the living room, please.
What happened in there?
I think she thinks Brett…
While we were all distracted when you woke up, she thinks he…
Are you okay?
Not really.
I think I need to just put my daughter back to sleep.
-Daddy! -Hey, Maggles.
Can I talk to you for one second? No? I'll find you in a second. I love you.
It was Brett. I knew it. Remember I was telling you before it had to be Brett?
-Everyone, just stay in the room. -I know.
Tell me again. Should we stay in the room?
Yeah.
And it's amazing for you, because it means you're in the clear.
I don't think Brett did it.
Sorry? Why?
Listen up, everyone.
Wake up! Come on, now.
Good news, everyone. No more waiting.
I know who the killer is.
I'm sorry. Are you just gonna tell us all as a group?
As a first responder, that is highly unusual.
You are a part-time volunteer fireman.
You do it for the love, not the money. Gandhi said that.
Gandhi absolutely did not say that.
Well, he should have.
Twelve minutes. We have 12 minutes.
Thank you. So you all have been talking all night long.
And now, it's my turn to talk.
-Oh, my God! -What now?
I just got Jennifer 2's birth announcement.
"Husband is on the way back from Tokyo. Mama and baby are doing just fine."
Oh, my God. Look, I'm trying to tell you who killed Xavier!
So listen up.
Let's talk about who could have done it.
Chelsea,
you are the last person admitted to seeing Xavier alive.
And she gave him her flask full of cat roofies.
-I-- -Wait. Chelsea, you drugged him?
-What? -Oh, my gosh.
Let's say she's lying, that she didn't just walk away,
that she gave him that kitty cat juice
-and then pushed him off the edge! Right? -No.
And then, walked on downstairs like nothing happened.
You tell me. She a little bit off, right?
-She's a nut job. -A little bit.
-She's crazy. -She's crazy.
But I didn't.
I know, honey.
Because Indigo said that she saw Zoë and Chelsea by the stairs
as Jenn 1 felt a tinkle on her head from Xavier,
who was pouring out that flask, still alive.
And also, it wasn't cat roofies. It was just cat tranquilizers.
With whiskey and a splash of ginger. It's my signature.
So, Jenn 1, that's what was drizzling down in your hair. Not pee.
I'm sorry. Is that supposed to be better, somehow?
-Way better. -Objectively, yes.
-Human urine? -Than pee?
Not in Europe.
And there's one other person that we all saw--
Well, most of y'all saw-- go up them stairs. That's Aniq.
But, see, I had to ask myself,
"Self, was there enough time for someone else to go up those stairs?"
And I said to myself…
"Yes, Self."
You know what? What?
This is really not good cold, I'm telling you.
-It's been out for a while. -Almost a full day.
See, Zoë said that her and Chelsea left the stairs
for about a one-minute window
-to see Aniq flipping out when he woke up. -Where am I?
-Is that true, Chelsea? -Yes, that is right.
Now, I listened to five different versions of that moment.
And in every version, there were three people
who weren't in the living room at that time.
It was Walt…
Who, me? Okay.
Maggie…
and Brett.
Now, Maggie was asleep in Brett's car.
So I'm just gonna go ahead and assume
that she's not the killer for now.
Also, she's six, so probably not.
-But then, I was thinking, Walt. -Hey.
Invisible Walt.
"What way to get remembered? I don't know." Murder?
Such a provocative word.
Now see, he had enough time to sneak up them stairs without anybody noticing,
'cause nobody ever notices Walt.
Try my mom?
No. I didn't do it. Those are the facts.
Read 'em… please.
So where was you, Walt?
Where was I?
When everybody else was down here in the living room, where was you?
-Well, that's-- -I know where you was.
In the foyer bathroom, getting ready to streak, just like back in high school.
What? How did you know-- Who told you--
It's-- How did you know that?
Well, because Ned was taking Jenn 1 over there,
and they couldn't get in the restroom to wash that non-pee out of her hair.
But the bathroom was occupied with someone dropping a deuce, Officer.
And after I questioned Aniq, I watched him run into the bathroom
and step over a robe on the floor.
She's right. My first attempt to streak at a high school party fell flat.
#fail.
So I wanted to do it again to be remembered,
get naked in front of you guys. That's when friendships begin.
Occupied.
Here we go.
Someone call 911!
Oh, my God.
Xavier!
So, I thought tonight would be a second chance to be remembered.
Get y'all to see me naked, and…
All right. So that leaves two possible people.
Aniq, our original suspect, who we know went upstairs,
or Brett, who had been missing until after the body was discovered.
Right.
So who is it? Aniq? Brett?
Brett? Aniq?
I believe I know who the killer is.
Brett.
Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God. -No. No, no, no. No way. Brett?
Impossible. Brett the 'Vette?
-No way. -Wait, wait, wait.
He wasn't in the living room. I remember that very clearly.
It's gotta be Brett.
Jennifer 1! Shut up!
What are you saying? I have never killed someone.
I don't give a shit about Xavier. I didn't kill him. I told you!
I was with my daughter in the car. Bringing her--
No, no, no, boo-boo. Yes, it was you.
Let me tell you why I think it was you, okay?
'Cause you was mad at Xavier for macking on Zoë, okay?
You also shoved Aniq into the shrimp sculpture back there,
-which I think is a bit toxic. -Separate issue.
-You punched a caterer. -You don't know what he said to me.
And then you have a history of lying. You killed Xavier.
-No! -Look how emotional you are.
'Cause you accuse me of murder!
No. You killed Xavier. Look at you!
Stop saying it or I'll kill you!
If you didn't do it, you'd be a lot more calm.
I did not kill anyone in this house!
Or any house!
Don't. Don't.
I told you it was Brett.
Something doesn't add up. You know, the timing's wrong.
When I woke up, I'm pretty sure I saw Brett heading towards his car.
You're doing this all off of a "pretty sure"?
I was very disoriented, but…
I noticed that the front door was open, and there he was. I saw him.
If you admit you saw him, you're the one who's going to jail.
It's either you or him, and he can afford a good lawyer.
What, and I should lie?
Zoë, can you please do me a favor and tell this police officer
that while I am a deeply flawed man, I am not a murderer? Zoë, tell her.
I-- I…
-What are you doing? -I…
I…
It wasn't him.
What? Sorry.
When I woke up, I saw Brett in the driveway.
If that would've been when it had to be, he couldn't have done it.
Wait, Danner. You just said that it was.
I knew it was Aniq. Man, I should've been a cop.
So are you confessing?
No. But, you know, I--
I know this doesn't help me to say this,
but I can't let Brett take the fall when I know the truth.
I thought you hated me.
I did. I kinda didn't like most of you.
But after listening to your stories all night, it's just-- I realized--
Wait. Were you listening in on us being questioned?
-What'd you say? What? -Yeah.
-He was listening to everybody. -Yeah.
Oh, shit.
-How'd he do that? -How?
First through the intercom, then hiding in the recording booth,
and, real slick, through your phone.
-Oh, my God. -Right?
Okay, yes. I was listening to you all tell your stories and I--
I know I shouldn't have done that.
But it made me realize that I was wrong.
You know? Yeah.
You know, back in high school, I thought you were all selfish, judgmental people.
But we all have more in common than I thought. Even Brett.
Even Xavier.
We all need each other.
Aniq, I did not know you were listening.
I'm really sorry for some things I said.
No, I shouldn't have--
You do not look like
if the dad from Family Matters and Urkel had a kid somehow.
I missed that one.
I will testify as a character witness on your behalf.
Yeah.
Brett. Thank you.
But it's too late, you know?
The door's closed.
No, it's not. Door's open.
The closet door.
Took you long enough, puzzle boy.
What is going on?
In every story I heard, the closet door was closed.
But when I went up there, it was open.
No!
Someone was hiding in the closet.
Yeah. The killer didn't need to go upstairs during the one-minute window,
because they were already up there.
And you hiding in the recording booth when I was interviewing Chelsea
helped me figure it out.
Danner, are you saying that it's neither Brett nor Aniq?
-That's correct. -But you literally just said it was Brett.
That was a test. And I knew that Brett didn't do it.
But now I know for sure that it wasn't Aniq.
Okay, then who is it?
The person that was most upset with how their life turned out.
The one that told the most cartoonish and fake story.
Oh, no.
Me? What?
I'm sorry. This little angel?
Yeah. You're the only one who could have been hiding in the closet.
And you distracted everyone with your video
so they wouldn't hear Xavier scream when you killed him.
Five, six, seven! 'Cause the party's never ending…
Where am I? Why am I wet?
This is gonna be fun. So it's my turn now?
Okay, explain how it's me. Everyone was a witness.
When the video came on, I was down here with Aniq.
Everyone was witnesses. You're right.
Everyone was a witness,
and all of them said that you came in from the balcony.
Except for you.
What happened? Are you okay?
I knew it had to be you. But why would you wanna kill Xavier?
Then I realized
it all started a few months back when you installed the A/V system.
How you liking that A/V equipment I installed in your place, huh?
Because I was so flattered you called an old friend to do the job.
So, you were here in the house all alone, and Xavier wasn't here.
I'm kind of excited for this. Everybody else got one. Give me one.
I figure while you were doing the installation,
you got to snooping around in Xavier's files,
came across…
track 12, "How Great Is This Party," right? That's your line, right?
That is my line. I made it famous, yeah.
You were real bitter towards Xavier because he became a star, and you weren't.
And that was your line, and he stole it.
Well, that's wrong, because I wasn't bitter at all. I was psyched.
The dude used my line, right? We're friends. It's amazing.
He was not your friend. And you know it, okay?
You felt like--
You all right?
Just giving you a clear path. You're so confident. I want you to--
-Relax. -Yep.
See, you wanted to give him one more chance,
one more chance to help you.
So at the reunion, you asked him to bless your track.
You're seriously asking me that?
After you dumped me to start your solo career?
How's that going, by the way?
That's not fair, man. I gave you your name.
My mom gave me my name.
Fine. Then I came up with "How Great Is This Party."
-That was my idea. -What are you talking about?
-Did you look in my private files? -No, I didn't look at your private files.
"How Great Is This Party" is not yours. That's just some shit people say.
We are not friends, okay? You made that clear 15 years ago.
-I made a mistake 15 years ago. -Stop, stop.
Let me make this very clear, okay?
I will never bless any track of yours.
You're nobody. You're a loser.
I am me. You are my A/V guy.
-I'm not a loser. -Just keep telling yourself that, man.
Can you just not tell anybody this happened, please?
Yeah, sure. Whatever.
He said no, and you snapped.
So you inspired the song, but you had no legal right to it.
And there was only one way that you could get what you felt like you deserve,
and that was to kill him.
-Kill him? -Yeah.
Kill him, steal the song,
then you say that he gave it to you,
then release the song as a duet
with you and Xavier as your 2Pac.
I mean, this is an incredible, fanciful imaginary story.
I'm actually impressed, but it's totally false. It's all made-up.
See, you the one that been making up stories,
'cause you told Chelsea that you were in the recording studio.
-That was your alibi. -I'm about to record a track with Xavier.
I was in the recording studio.
But see, how were you in there listening to music without it blasting?
Because Maggie went in there first,
and she put the faders all the way up to ten.
And when I interviewed Aniq, they were still up there.
And then you said you didn't come out
until after Aniq woke up.
So, how was you listening to a track?
How that work?
You just went in there and took you one of them alibi selfies and left.
-Have you seen a six-year-old girl? -No, dude.
But if you stick around, I'm about to make musical history.
You're making up everything! Aniq, now's the time you should stand up for me.
See, you needed to get Xavier in his room alone with you
so you could kill him.
So you snuck upstairs as the party was dying down…
while everyone thought you were in the recording studio.
So when he was out on the living room balcony on the lower level,
you start flicking the lights in his room.
The lights are, like, flashing in my bedroom.
I should, like-- I should probably check that out,
'cause it might be, like, a Parasite situation.
But then you heard Chelsea coming into Xavier's bedroom.
No flashing lights?
It's a fun night, huh?
Jesus. What are you doing? Why are you here?
-How great is this party? -You see that?
Five, six, seven! 'Cause the party's never ending
And we're skanking till it's late Now we're picking up the rhythm…
That was my idea.
That belongs to me.
Your entire fucking career is because of me.
Okay, I'm turning this shit off.
Why-- You said updating the app would fix it.
What? You want your A/V guy to help you? Here, come on.
Okay, man. This is, like, actual Psycho shit.
Fuck. Dude, okay, all right. Let's just start over, okay? Yasper, wait!
You really think that I did this?
I was Xavier's friend. He was coming up. We were gonna record a song together.
I have text messages, remember?
He texted me. Look at this. Look at this. Show everybody.
You know what? Culp helped me crack this one right here.
-Yes, I did. -Yeah.
-How so? -See, I had worked a case
where a husband had killed his wife.
And we was trying to figure out, how did he get his wife
to come to the front door just in time for him to kill her?
Well, he texted her!
And then he had the password to her phone,
and he deleted the text.
-You want your A/V guy to help you? -And you knew Xavier's password,
'cause you set up his A/V.
And after you killed him, you sent yourself a text from Xavier's phone.
'Cause I'm looking through this, and he never responds to your texts.
But he just so happens to respond today?
"Track 12 in the WIP folder should work for our collab."
Yeah, and--
After you sent the text,
you didn't come down the stairs where people would see you.
Mr. Flippity Gymnast.
What you did was drop 15 feet off the damn balcony onto this balcony.
-Then you came in here… -Aniq!
-…just like everyone said. -Are you okay? What's wrong?
Who did this?
Now, there was only one little snag in your plan.
Aniq wanted to confront Xavier and take his ass upstairs, right?
It was Xavier, wasn't it?
And you tried to stop him
because you knew he would be a number one suspect if he went up there.
All this time, I thought you were helping me.
I have been helping you. She's turning you against me right now.
I've been helping you since the beginning, remember?
She accused you, then she accused Brett, then this random dude got accused.
Walt!
And now she's accusing me, okay? So who's next?
Who's the next person she's gonna accuse?
Because the thing you are lacking right now
is you have these insane theories, but you have absolutely no evidence!
But there is evidence.
There is a secret hidden camera in Xavier's bedroom
in the Private Eyes movie poster, watching you.
You realized there were security cameras that probably saw exactly what you did.
What are you doing?
You had to erase it.
No, no, no.
Of course! This is what I was trying to tell you.
You still had Xavier's phone.
I am going to craft a meanly-worded tweet.
You see, your phone has a case on it.
It says "Yasper" in gold letters, with a dollar sign for an S.
And the phone you had then had no case.
So you used Xavier's phone to delete the footage
and make Danner look like a screw-up.
I don't screw up.
Okay. You're telling me I killed Xavier, stole his phone, then just kept it.
To do what with? Why would I have that?
To copy Xavier's song ideas from his voice memos.
I got over being under you
Zo-o-o-ë
Good acoustics in bathrooms.
You couldn't send the files in an email. They'd probably check his email records.
We check all that.
So in the shower, I saw you myself.
You were playing them from his phone and recording them onto your own.
-Yasper? Why are you in the shower? -Hey.
'Cause the acoustics are unbelievable. Wanna hear?
I swear to you, I don't have Xavier's phone.
Like back in the day. Pocket check. Pocket check! Search his damn pockets.
Gonna search my pockets? You have a search warrant?
-I don't need… -You just jump inside someone's pocket?
I don't need a search warrant.
I have two phones. Is that a crime?
One for business, my A/V work, one for friendship.
And all you guys are off the friendship one.
It's not Xavier's phone.
Turn the sound on…
-Do it, Culp. -…and put it back in his pockets.
Y'all wanna have some fun? I wanna have some fun.
'Cause you trying to play me like I'm dumb.
Y'all came to a after-party to have a good time.
It turned into not a good time because somebody wanna be famous.
So let's go ahead and turn it into a good time.
What's Xavier's phone number? Do you have it?
-Let me see that. -Here you go.
Scrawny little bitch.
-I can't wait. Okay, you guys ready? -Yep.
All right. Here we go.
She say X marks the G-spot On her treasure map
Busted!
I knew it!
He did it!
-Yes! Busted! -Oh, my God.
-I did know it. I called it. -Nice, babe.
-Nice, babe. That's my wife. -Bro. Cringe.
You guys don't understand anything. You don't understand anything.
You all have your own stories, right?
You know, but Xavier, he owed me…
He owed me everything.
I gave him his career. I gave him his name.
I gave him his name. Do you remember that? And he still wanted to screw me over.
I should have been the star. I should have been the successful one.
I was the one that was supposed to be famous.
And all I was asking was for, like, a tiny bit of credit.
Just a little bit. And why is that too much?
Don't I deserve that? I helped him start the whole thing.
Why shouldn't I be the one that gets a little bit, no?
But he still wanted to screw me over.
But he wasn't gonna get rich off of my line. No way.
"How great is this party" is my fucking line!
It is the perfect encapsulation of celebratory music! That is mine!
And there's another thing you guys didn't even think about.
What?
-Move! He's on the run! -Get him! Get his ass!
Suspect is on foot!
-Oh, my Jesus. -That's what you get.
Dude, I never meant for you to take the blame.
That was never part of the plan.
That's why I was trying to help you put doubt into the air.
Aniq, you're my friend.
A friend wouldn't do this.
Come on. Get up.
I'm sorry, man.
I'll take him out in a sec.
I told you you could trust me.
So, when you falsely accused Brett…
See, I didn't think you had anything to do with it,
but you were so in cahoots with Yasper, I just had to make sure.
And besides, Zoë told me you were a good person,
and if you were pushed, you would do the right thing.
And I wanted to see if you would lie to protect yourself.
And you didn't.
Thanks.
You know, I could put a recommendation in for you at the department
if you ever decide to get into a career in law enforcement.
You could solve puzzles that save lives.
Thanks. Yeah, it's not really my scene,
but, you know, if you ever need help solving a case,
here's my card, I think.
I got wet a bunch today.
Cool.
Yep.
Let's go ahead and get him up out of here.
Shit! Is this Jenn 2's amniotic fluid I keep slipping on?
Nasty!
-Okay, Captain's coming. Captain's here. -Okay, okay, okay.
Sir, can we get a statement, please?
-I'm a star. Hey! -Captain…
Hey! Check out my music!
Follow me, @Yazzmatazzsixtynine. Here's a little glimpse.
Whoa, music boy
Danner, what's going on here?
-Captain, I-- -Hey.
-Aldrin! Good to see you again. -Mad Dog.
-Yeah. -Heard you were here.
Still causing trouble, I see.
I'm so sorry. You're too late.
I got our guy. Yeah. Full confession.
No, you didn't.
You took a flight all the way here from LA?
You might as well just turn around and get back on that airplane, man.
-I'm sorry. -Thank you for being
a good team player, champ.
I apologize. I really, truly--
Skape Diem, how great is this party?
Shut the fuck up!
-Captain, I gotta go grab something quick. -That's fine.
-Sorry, I need to get my… -How you doing?
Chelsea. Hey.
Listen, I just wanna say I'm really sorry
that I wasn't as nice to you as I should have been.
It's wild, the anger that you carry.
Pregnancy brain.
Is something you don't have. Babe, it's-- So would you just leave my wife alone?
Yeah. I don't care.
Great.
Friends?
No.
Hey, kiddo.
Daddy!
-See you, Walt. -Walt? You remembered my name.
After tonight, nobody's gonna forget it.
-Walt. -Yes, Walt.
Walt.
It's my birthday.
Happy birthday, Walt.
Do you wanna get breakfast?
-You know, Yasper's rental still has a-- -Yeah, I do.
Just taking this back to the lab. It's evidence.
Thought it was a gift. It's my-- Yeah.
Bye, Mags.
Sorry.
-Hey, can I drive? -Yeah.
All right, let's do it. Ready?
So, Mommy and the silly man are friends now?
Yeah.
I like him.
He's not as cool as your dad, right?
Now is when you say, "No way."
-No way. -Yeah! That's what I'm talking about.
Okay. I'm just gonna pull over here for a second.
-Okay. -So what, is this as far as we go?
Yep.
-Get out. -Out? Well, then I guess so.
-It's been-- -Nice knowing ya.
-Nice knowing ya? -Oh, my God.
This has been a crazy night.
It has been a crazy night, but…
here we are.
And the music's playing,
and we are all alone,
and I'm just wondering if you are ever gonna make that move?
I mean, ye-- I mean, I want to. But just, someone died tonight, you know.
-Yeah. -Somebody else went to jail.
Sure.
Just didn't seem like a real aphrodisiac, you know.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
But, you know…
Just-- So maybe, like, in a couple of weeks or something
when things are a little less intense, we could--
Hey. Walt.
Sorry to interrupt.
Would you mind dropping me off at home first, or…