God, it's so quiet!
Can someone just say something?
- Like, anything. - I'm sorry.
- No, not you. - Is my quiet contemplation
of my son's death not chatty enough for you?
Oh, my God.
While we wait for Sebastian to finish his business dealings,
let's play a parlor game.
Those of us who did not murder Edgar on one team, and Grace on the other.
You know what, Isabel?
It's funny you keep accusing my sister
when the poison that killed Edgar
came from your daughter's garden.
- Is it? - Yeah. Devil's trumpet.
It was one of the flowers from your centerpieces.
I love the hue.
Devil's trumpet. I've only heard of it used as a psychotropic aid,
the Aruk shaman of Chile brew it in small doses to induce visions--
Okay, we get it. You travel.
What exactly are you suggesting?
That my adopted daughter murdered her own brother?
- Hannah, did you murder Edgar? - No.
There you have it.
Vivian, did you kill my son?
What? Why would I?
See. That wasn't a "no," was it?
Okay, here's an idea. Perhaps, you were all in on this together.
Maybe you hatched a little family, get-rich-quick scheme.
We don't want your money.
Everyone wants our money.
You know, the more I think about it, I'm pretty sure Sebastian did it.
Really? And why is that?
Well, Edgar secretly fired him. Bombshell. Plus, he sucks.
I get it, okay?
Grace looks guilty as hell right now and it would be damn sweet if the guy
that's been charming your girl all weekend, ended up taking the fall.
But, babe, let's stay levelheaded.
She wasn't charmed.
You think she was charmed?
The SEC's being a real pair of granny's knickers.
I'm in a knife fight here, Charles, and I'm holding a sausage.
I'm gonna have to mute you, mate. One moment.
Looky here, catch the killer yet?
Let me guess, was it the bride who wouldn't sign the prenup?
- Do you have a few minutes to talk? - Absolutely.
To the real police. Let me know when they get here.
In the meantime, I'm a little busy.
Too busy to explain why Edgar secretly fired your ass?
Or should we say, arse?
Let's have a chat.
Hey, how is your investigation going?
Not great.
First Isabel accuses my sister of killing Edgar.
And then she goes after my mom and my entire family.
Which actually makes me think that she did it.
You know, like a, "whoever smelt it dealt it" situation
but for murder.
Actually, we've already found some pretty damning
information about Sebastian.
I bet they all poisoned Edgar together. And that is why they're accusing us.
I mean, we'd definitely have to prove that.
Fine. That's what I'm going to do.
Wrong way.
Don't boil my house peppers and call it Tuesday soup.
We're not done here. Ciao.
Good. He's back.
Right, you have nine minutes until my next call. Shoot.
So, Edgar.
Yes. He asked for my resignation.
And yes, I kept it a secret. But I didn't kill him.
Hell, I wasn't even upset with him.
Not after last night.
I don't get it. If Edgar fired you, why did you go to his wedding?
To understand why I'm here, you need to understand my past.
You see, Edgar and I are from very different worlds.
He's from old money.
Whereas I grew up in a trailer park in San Bernardino.
California? You're British.
No. I just sound British.
I'm actually a good, old boy from the US of A.
- Wait, what? - Holy shit.
Why would you lie about being British?
Because it makes me seem charming and intelligent.
Who would you rather give money to?
This loser or this fellow?
That one. The second one. I definitely would do things to him.
So, why did I come to the wedding?
Well, I guess you could say I was after one last score.
I'd been pulling jobs since I was a kid.
Back then, I was a poor nobody from the middle of dirtbag nowhere.
But I was a hustler.
And I had a homegrown crew.
My cousin, Jaxson.
And his brother, Judson. Who was also my cousin.
What the hell? I slipped on a puddle of soap.
Smashed my Yoo-hoo. What kind of store is this?
My dad's a lawyer and he'll sue you for everything you've got, mister.
My knee's clicking. Can you hear that? My knee's never clicked before.
Hey!
You little shits! You're going nowhere!
I'm talking about in life!
We were good. But he was right.
Pulling cheap cons with my dirtbag cousins was a ticket to nowhere.
I had to get out of there. Fast.
So, with some fake test scores and a forged letter of recommendation,
I conned my way into a full ride at a fancy boarding school.
That's where I met Edgar.
Edgar was one of the richest kids in the school.
What's this?
I knew he'd look down on me,
so I decided I would try out a posh, new accent.
That?
It's just my favorite thing in the entire world.
It's a 1994 Justin Tunder rookie card.
American baseball. I can't get enough.
Tunder? He's a terrible infielder with a .187 batting average.
That card is worthless.
But this is a misprint.
Turder. Turd. That's hysterical.
I like jokes. I want it. How much?
Sorry, chap. It's not for sale.
Everything's for sale.
Why don't we play for it?
I win, I get the card. You win, you can have my watch.
A watch worth more than my old man's houseboat?
Too much to pass up.
But I knew a hustle when I saw one.
I wasn't gonna beat him at his own game.
But Connect Four? The poor kid's chess?
That, I could play.
Four.
Again.
Best two out of three.
If I was a smart cookie, Edgar was the whole goddamn platter.
No matter what I did, he always set a trap so he'd have two ways to win.
That's four.
By the way, the accent's a nice touch. But it needs some work.
Edgar saw right through me.
He took the only thing of value I'd ever owned.
But I wasn't mad.
See, in the game of life, Edgar was the house.
He got dealt a different hand than the rest of us.
If you can't beat the house, you have to become the house.
I convinced Edgar to team up. He'd be the brains, I'd be the face.
And the ass. And the abs.
I'd like to see all of those.
- You got a warrant? - What are you doing?
We were a perfect team. Started pulling small cons.
The Spanish Prisoner, Norseekee Twist,
- even a Mwamba Shuffle. - What?
Then, after college, we launched the biggest hustle of them all.
A totally legal hedge fund.
Built the whole biz from the ground up.
With nothing but a $2.4 million loan from Edgar's dad.
We were unstoppable. Rolling in cash.
Until Edgar pulled us into crypto.
Eddyboy, I had my doubts but you were right.
Bucephalus is through the roof.
I see you've upgraded the old security on the safe.
Well, it holds the keys to my cryptocurrency,
which, as you've just noted, is now worth quite a lot of money.
Though...
it could have been worth more.
You held back 20% of our capital. But I told you to invest everything.
It was 20%. We were exposed.
The only thing exposed was your lack of faith.
- You cost me millions. - Come on.
You're fired, Sebastian.
You can't be serious. Edgar, it was a hedge.
Crypto is volatile. It's all about perception.
Everything is about perception.
Take the Mona Lisa.
It's a middling portrait of a woman who's a six at best.
And yet, we've all decided it's a priceless masterpiece and so it is.
Or take that turd card that I took from you
the first day we met.
Now, to some, a dog, say, it's just a piece of cardboard,
but it has tremendous value because we've assigned it tremendous value
which is why I cannot have you undermining me.
But we're partners.
We've been together for decades.
You're gonna throw all of that away over this?
Tell you what.
I'm gonna give you Monday as a deadline to hand in your resignation
because I don't want anything to be awkward at the wedding this weekend.
You expect me to still come to your wedding after this?
Of course. I mean, this is just business.
You're still my best man.
Damn. That's cold as hell.
That doesn't sound like the Edgar I knew.
He was very nice to me actually.
That's because he didn't want anything from you.
You were of absolutely zero value to him, whatsoever.
I wouldn't say zero value.
I helped him tie his bow tie, so...
Adorable.
When it came to business, Edgar was ruthless.
I'd helped him build his empire and he was gonna clean me out?
I couldn't take that lying down. And the wedding was the perfect cover.
But for a heist this big,
I was gonna need one hell of a--
Teddy!
- The fuck? - You great, big knob.
How the devil are you?
Yeah, sorry. I was just having a piss in the loo.
Two minutes. Talk to me.
I told you not to take those centerpieces.
I know. What are we going to do, huh? We can't just walk out holding these.
Hear me out. We flush them.
- Down the toilet? - Yeah, we'll do it carefully.
- There's, like, a hundred flowers here. - Okay, one stem at a time.
Well, well, well.
We can explain this.
Wait.
Yeah, of course.
Toodle-pip, matey. Cheerio, me old mucker.
Right, where was I?
I think it was something about putting together a team?
Teams play softball.
When you're pulling a heist, you need a crew.
I needed professional criminals. Guys Edgar had never met before.
Prison has actually been really great for me.
I mean, it's given me time.
Which is exactly what I needed to finish the album.
When the world hears what I've been cooking up
behind these very thick walls,
you might as well give me another life sentence
because I will be guilty of killing it.
One time for pushing...
- And the other time for singing - Sir, I'm your attorney.
These bars can't hold These bars
Stop. Okay, this is what it's about.
These bars, as in prison, can't hold these bars,
the song that I'm singing to you. Right now.
I feel like the acoustics are real messed up.
What if I take you to the prison shower? The acoustics there are unbelievable.
By the way, what does "for life" actually mean?
'Cause I feel like I've been here enough.
It's our cousin Seabass, come flopping back to our humble shores.
What did they get you for this time?
Simple smash and grab. Judson fucked it up.
What? No, you fucked it up.
I was supposed to smash, you were supposed to grab.
Yeah, but I like smashing, shithead.
- Guys. Hey! - You can't grab me now, asshole.
Ladies, stop it.
What if I told you I could spring you out of here?
- What's in it for us? - We don't want your charity.
I need you for a job. A big one. And the warden owes me a favor.
Here's the mark. Edgar Minnows. And here's the score.
This safe, here.
Hidden behind three layers of security.
Job like this? You're looking at at least...
A Fatboy Slim, a pudding slinger and the dumbest Lee Majors of all time.
And here is how we're gonna do it.
Word is the wedding deejay's not feeling so hot.
Judson, maybe you could check up on him.
Well, you look like shit. Maybe you should go home.
I heard the caterer's understaffed.
Jaxson, maybe you could lend a hand.
I'll need four and a half minutes
to get to the safe and crack it.
I'll need a distraction. I'm thinking...
First dance? I'm on it.
Four and a half minutes? Hot damn. How tough is that safe?
Nearly impossible.
First up, a keypad with ten million possible combinations.
Leave that to me.
Second, a retinal scan, but it's not for Edgar.
So, I'll need you two to--
Thump that lizard and pop out her eyeballs? Done.
What? No. Jesus Christ.
I'll need you to run a distraction so that I can steal the lizard.
Fine. But at some point this weekend, I will thump someone.
- Really? - What about this third level?
The horsey box?
That horsey box is a solid steel case with a six-letter alphabetical code.
I haven't cracked it yet.
What do you mean you haven't cracked it yet?
Yeah. Without that code we're like Leo in the Titanic.
Hot for a guy who doesn't work out, but dead in the water.
I will figure it out, okay? I just need more time.
I'm late for dinner.
I needed to convince Edgar
that nothing would be awkward at the wedding.
I wasn't sure you'd make it.
Why wouldn't I make it?
After all, I'm your best man.
So, I flirted with the maid of honor,
introduced the surprise guest...
Ulysses.
And after you spit all over Vivian,
I had another drink and slipped off to Edgar's office.
But on the way there...
I know your secret, Vivian. And if you don't tell, I will.
Edgar, please. There is more to this than you understand.
Disagree.
Hold up. Now Vivian had a secret?
That's interesting.
But, I mean, is it a bad secret? Or was it just like, something fun?
We don't know, right? Probably no way we could ever know.
We could ask her.
Continue.
With the coast clear, it was time to enact part one of the plan.
You can imagine my surprise when I discovered I wasn't alone.
But hey, what's a heist without a little competition?
Well, well, well.
Seems as though I've caught you with your hand in the biscuit tin.
Sebastian Drapewood. I wondered when we'd come face to face.
Looks like I've busted you having a little tinkle in the deep end.
I was just looking for some termites in the undercarriage.
Drop the act. I know why you're here. That safe.
What, you mean that safe?
That one, yeah. There's over $200 million of crypto in there.
You mean Bucephalus, right?
I know all about it.
The only question I have for you is...
"What is it?"
Sorry, what?
It's a compound word.
- I know phallus is a man's... - Yes.
But the Buce part--
Bucephalus. It's the name of Alexander the Great's horse.
You see, Edgar's old man was named Alexander,
and, being a narcissist, he was obsessed with Alexander the Great.
And Edgar was obsessed with his old man.
The final passcode!
It had to be the name of Edgar's father's horse.
But what was that damn horse called?
I needed a way to get the name without raising Edgar's suspicion.
Don't touch anything.
I'd have to pull a classic Don Juan honey stick.
Good evening. Couldn't sleep. Thought you might like a--
Not interested.
Righto.
Like I said, a Don Juan honey stick.
Hello there. I couldn't sleep. Thought you might like a drink.
Sebastian Drapewood. What are you doing here at this hour?
I think we both know what goes on at this hour.
I had no idea you felt that way.
Maybe it's the love in the air.
Maybe it's all that
white wine and garlic wafting off your body.
With Isabel?
For a score like this, you do what you have to do.
I want you to ride me the same way your dead husband rode...
What was the name of his horse again?
What is this? Did Edgar put you up to this?
Did your son send me here to sleep with you?
Get out.
Could I just--
Get out.
I need my pants.
Get out before you lose more than those trousers.
Goodbye.
I had to get back to my cottage without drawing any attention.
It was gonna take more than a multi-point security system
with floodlights and infrared sensors to catch me.
All I had to do was stay in the blind spots.
Fuck.
What the hell?
- Aniq? - You know, thanks to you,
my girlfriend's parents thought we were hooking up in the bushes.
You wish. Only when I'm drunk and in Europe.
Everybody in. Come on, I have something to show you.
Okay.
What's going on?
Are those my centerpieces?
That's proof. Proof that Grace killed my boy
and Vivian and Feng supplied the poison.
Why else would they have all of these flowers?
- There's a perfectly good explanation... - I can explain!
- ...if you just let us speak! - Oh, my God.
What? What is so amusing?
I don't know. But I'm laughing too.
You only think this proves something because you don't know our mom.
Mom, dump out your purse.
- Yeah, show them. - Okay--
- Okay, girls. Just-- Okay. - Yeah, do it.
- Mom, do it. - Girls. Just--
- Hai. - Okay, just--
I...
She never leaves a restaurant without pocketing all the Sweet'N Low.
Like all of them.
It's true, and she doesn't even like Sweet'N Low.
It's too sweet.
You see, she only gathered all of the centerpieces
'cause she didn't wanna waste them.
Yeah. She's not a killer. She's just cheap.
Frugality is a virtue.
You're just the definition of prudence. So, should I hide the silverware?
- Come on. - Why you gotta be like that?
- Wow, Karen. Wow. - You're like, so salty all the time.
Wait a second!
The Devil's Trumpet is missing from this one.
So, it was the poison.
And we were all at the rehearsal in the barn,
- so that means anybody could have done it. - The horse ate it!
Anybody could've done it. Exactly.
It was the morning of the wedding
and I still didn't have the code to the horse box.
But it was go time.
Gentlemen. You scrub up well.
Are you going to the wedding? Our ride never showed.
Indeed I am.
Hey, hey! Look who I found.
The crew were in place. Now it was my turn.
Look at you, old boy. Who's the face of the operation now?
I need my cuff links. And they're in my...
Would you grab Aniq for me?
I need some help tying my bow tie,
and he seems like he'd have a knack for knotting.
- I could tie it. - I'd prefer Aniq.
Okay.
I knew he'd kick me out so I couldn't see the keypad.
That's why I planted the pen.
One down, two to go.
But I still needed the code for the horse box.
There he is. The hand kisser.
Come on, man.
So, it was time for a Hail Mary.
Isabel, about last night--
No, listen, I threw all of your things out the window, except your underpants.
Yeah, I'm keeping those.
Fair enough. Listen, when I asked you about the name of Alexander's--
No, you listen to me.
You tell Edgar I remember everything.
The horse's name was Nutmeg.
- Nutmeg? - Nutmeg.
Six letters. The code. And she just gave it to you?
Yep. But there was a setback.
What do you mean you're not having a first dance?
You know how Edgar gets in front of crowds. It's too much for him.
You have to have one.
You're a partnership now. It's 50-50.
Don't let him take what's yours.
I do really want a first dance.
That's more like it. Have a long one. Enjoy yourself.
Now all I needed was that lizard.
Okay, gang. Here's an idea. How about we try one without Roxana?
Aniq can grab her.
- That's all right, isn't it, Edgar? - Of course. Aniq's trustworthy.
Lee Majors has the bounty. Jaxson, it's go time.
Hors d'oeuvre, sir?
What's this?
Fish piles?
Well, I don't mind if I do.
You know, Ahi Tuna and Yellowfin Tuna...
- That's interesting. - ...are two different names. Same fish.
Oh, no.
Roxana?
You son of a bitch.
Judson, you're up.
Seabass, we got a problem.
The couple just picked their first dance song. It's 40 seconds too short.
Well, vamp, damn it. Vamp!
I'm on it.
Ladies and gentlemen.
If I can get your attention to the dance floor.
It is time for our happy couple's first dance.
But before they dance, I'd like to say a few words if I may.
I have deejayed a lot of weddings.
The majority of them end up folding like a cheap lawn chair.
Yeah, I'm talking about divorce.
I've been divorced three times myself.
The fourth is currently pending.
If she thinks she's gonna get that Sea Doo,
man, she really is out of her fucking mind.
Divorce law doesn't cover watercraft. That's maritime law.
But when I look at this couple right here, I think to myself,
"Now there's a couple that's gonna spend a long and happy life together."
Anyhoo, here's this song.
Hey, that was a terrific toast. The music's good too.
You mind if I post up back here with you? I need a bird's eye.
Why would you need to do that?
Let's just say some criminal shit is definitely going down tonight.
- Oh, no. - I'm on it.
Shit. Seabass, come in.
Seabass. Come in.
I don't know what--
You had an alarm on the safe, didn't you?
I'm only here for what's mine.
But it's not yours. I won it fair and square.
This was never fair.
Why don't we play for it?
Just like old times.
May the best man win.
Oh, my God. S-E-C-4. Sebastian, Edgar, Connect Four!
No wonder I couldn't solve it. It's not a puzzle, it's a scorecard.
Edgar had been keeping tally for years.
But this wasn't just a game of Connect Four.
This was my one shot to finally beat the house.
Shall we?
No matter where I played, he had a winning move.
He set me up, just like he used to. Two ways to win.
We both know how this ends, Sebastian.
Pick one.
You know what? I'm gonna let you have this.
But I can't let you take all of it because that would be too risky.
I should hold on to 20%, right?
Yeah.
Call it a hedge?
Now, get the hell out of my office.
You definitely killed that dude.
Why would I kill Edgar?
Because he chopped up your turd card.
Except he didn't, did he?
What? But how?
I was never gonna take my card from his safe without replacing it.
I couldn't have Edgar realizing it was gone.
So, I bought another one without the typo.
I made sure I had two ways to win.
Like I said, I wanted to beat Edgar at his own game.
So, that's your whole story?
Why were you drowning your sorrows at the after-party?
I wasn't. I was celebrating.
Oh, yeah. There was one thing there that might interest you.
When I got to the bar, I saw Ulysses doing something to a glass.
Everything all right, kemosabe?
Of course.
What can I get you?
Shackleton.
So what exactly was Ulysses doing with the glass?
I don't know. But he was hiding something.
Something he didn't want me to see.
I gotta get this.
So, I didn't kill Edgar.
I left millions in that safe.
And this card is worth, what? Mid six figures?
It's basically just sentimental value.
We done?
Landon, you goateed fucker. How are you?
Remember how I told you I'd never tell your wife
about that night we had in Prague?
- I think it's clear, we've got our guy. - That's not our guy.
What did you say? Got or not?
- Not. - What?
The only person who can corroborate his story is Edgar, who's dead.
We need to figure out what he was talking about when he said Zoë's mom had secrets.
And what's going on with this uncle and a glass?
What, you wanna interrogate Zoë's family?
No. No, no, no. We can't do that. They didn't kill Edgar.
Look, I get it. But if we wanna find the truth, we have to stay objective.
Yeah, like you just were with Sebastian?
I mean, you spent the whole interview trying to bang him.
I was telling him what he wanted to hear.
He's a charmer. I let him think he charmed me.
When folks get comfortable, they slip up.
Well, that's actually very smart.
I know.
But I'm supposed to be clearing Grace's name, not--
Zoë's not gonna like this.
And I really need her parents to like me.
Don't make the same mistakes I did.
What's that mean?
- Have a seat. - What?
- Sit down! - I actually am already.
I have a confession to make.
I wasn't exactly honest about why I left the force.
And I did some things I shouldn't have done
because sometimes when you're too close to something, you can't see the truth.
Do your job.
Cleaning the pool?
Someone has to.
Lot of dead bees.
It's very sad.
I'm sorry Isabel was kind of a-- Well, as they say in French, a bitch.
I told Aniq and that lady about us.
I know.
But I didn't tell them everything.