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♪ ("IN THE HALL
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OF THE MOUNTAIN KING"
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BY LORNE BALFE PLAYING) ♪
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(SCRATCHING)
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(SCRATCHING)
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DONALD TRUMP: We will make
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America great again!
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(CROWD CHEERING)
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TRUMP: I'm a very stable genius.
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-You can do anything.
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-BILLY BUSH: Whatever you want.
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-TRUMP: Grab 'em by the pussy.
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-(BILLY LAUGHING)
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CROWD: (CHANTING)
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Lock her up! Lock her up!
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TRUMP: Nobody respects women
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more than Donald Trump.
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That I can...
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I know more about ISIS
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than the generals do,
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believe me.
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Doctor Fauci's
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made some mistakes.
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Supposing we hit the body
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with a tremendous,
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just, very powerful light?
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And then I see the disinfectant.
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REPORTER: Why are
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African Americans still dying
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at the hands of law enforcement
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in this country?
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TRUMP: And so are white people.
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More white people, by the way.
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CHRIS WALLACE:
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Are you suggesting
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that you might not accept
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the results of the election?
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TRUMP: No, I have to see.
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I'm not gonna just say yes.
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♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
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CROWD: (CHANTING) Lock her up!
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Lock her up! Lock her up!
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(DOOR UNLOCKS)
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(DOOR CLOSES)
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Yes, officer, I know what I did,
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and I know
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why that man pressed charges.
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Oh my God.
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I can't believe I'm here.
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I've never-- I've never been
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in a police station in my life.
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Wallpaper would help.
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What? What was that?
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Do I want a lawyer?
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You mean my son?
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What did you say?
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Your son is a doctor?
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It's not a competition.
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What kind of a doctor?
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(GASPS) Oh, a pediatrician!
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Oh, that's wonderful!
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My daughter's a neurologist.
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What?
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Your daughter's
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a cardiac surgeon,
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and she's been published?
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Fuck you! (LAUGHS)
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Oh, I'm sorry.
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I didn't mean it like that.
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I really didn't.
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Please. Please, just listen.
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Let me speak so--
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so you'll understand.
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Because this morning, I wake up,
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and I'm reading the Times
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because I love the Times
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like it was my child
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or it was my-- my parent.
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I mean officer, do you know
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what the New York Times means
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to a liberal Jewish woman
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like me?
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On the census,
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when it asks for religion,
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I don't put Jewish,
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I put the New York Times.
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So I pick up the Times,
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which I have delivered,
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the real Times,
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the newsprint Times.
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Yeah, yes,
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I know I'm old-fashioned,
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but really, officer, please.
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Reading the Times online
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is like having sex with a robot.
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Yeah, I mean, it's cleaner
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and it's faster,
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but you can tell the difference.
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Okay, I'll just say it.
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The New York Times online
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is the New York Times
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for the gentiles.
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I mean, have you ever had dinner
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with a Lutheran family?
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That's not food.
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By the way, officer,
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are-- are you Jewish?
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Uh. Oh, you're Catholic.
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(CHUCKLES) That's fine.
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And I'm the one being arrested.
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(LAUGHS) I'm kidding.
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(CHUCKLES)
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So, I pick up the paper.
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See, there's a reason
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it's called "the paper."
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Only there he is.
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His face above the fold.
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Him.
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You know who I'm talking about.
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I can't even stand
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to say his name,
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because I'm a New Yorker,
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and we always hated him.
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And it wasn't just the lying
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and the hair
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and the ugly buildings.
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Oh my God, no.
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He has no style.
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He has no sense of humor!
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He tore down Bonwit Teller
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in the middle of the night!
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He wouldn't rent
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to Black people!
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Move to the Kremlin,
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you son of a bitch!
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Ugh. (CLICKS TONGUE)
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(GROANS)
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I didn't say that.
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(SIGHS) But yes, I did.
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And that's part of the problem.
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I hate being like this.
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I mean, even years ago,
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when I had no money
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and I was waitressing
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and I was going to City College
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and-- and my parents
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kept nagging me to get married
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and we had Nixon and Roy Cohn
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and whoever the fuck
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invented patios!
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I mean, I never felt like this.
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I never went to bed in a rage
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and woke up
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having a panic attack.
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I didn't spend every day
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in anger and dread and--
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and I didn't hate
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those other people.
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Those people from Nebraska
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and Ohio and Alabama.
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I mean,
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I fly over them, but I'd wave.
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And when they came
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to New York City to visit,
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I-- I'd give 'em directions
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to Lion King.
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I mean, I'd start to recommend
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the new Sondheim.
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They'd say, "Who's Sondheim?"
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I'd say,
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"Have fun with the puppets."
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I mean, maybe we weren't--
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we weren't buddies, but--
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but we didn't despise
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each other.
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That's what he did.
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(PANTS) Oh, God.
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I'm doing it.
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The fury, the agita,
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the constant need to shake
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my copy of the New York Times
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and scream at it,
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"How could you let this happen?"
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(BREATHES HEAVILY)
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Not the Arts section.
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You know, sometimes I worry
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that maybe
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I'm a little too attached
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to the Times, like--
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like maybe it was my best friend
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or something, or like--
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like when my late husband, Nick,
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was still alive,
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and we used to spend all day
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Sunday in bed with the Times.
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His cinnamon and raisin bagels
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and lox,
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and you know
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what we call that? (LAUGHS)
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We call it "a Jewish orgy."
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(LAUGHS)
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But there's his face,
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and it's such an insult
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to the Times,
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and to Nick,
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who hated him more than anybody.
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I can't talk about Nick, though.
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I-- I...
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No. Not now. Maybe not ever.
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So, I take a shower and then
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I turn on The Today Show
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because I love those co-hosts,
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Savannah and Hoda.
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I just love them.
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They're so smart.
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They're so upbeat.
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It's like they're always saying,
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"Hey, there's been a plane crash
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and a tsunami,
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but we're both wearing
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sleeveless dresses,
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so mazel tov!" (LAUGHS)
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Only today... (CHUCKLES)
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...and I can tell
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they're not enjoying it,
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they're doing a report
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on the daughter's
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Goodwill World Tour.
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"The daughter."
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She's always laughing
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and smiling.
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She wears more makeup
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than the Rockettes combined.
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And I don't know what the fuck
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she's doing in the White House.
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I mean, will you tell me?
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She wasn't elected.
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And before that,
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she had Chinese sweatshops
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churning out that crappy jewelry
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of her-- hers,
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while her dad jabbered on
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about American jobs.
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And when 12 women
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were brave enough
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to come forward and say
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that he had assaulted them,
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she says, "I believe my father."
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And then when the tape comes out
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where he talks
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about grabbing women...
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(WHISPERING) ...by the pussy,
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she says,
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"That's not the man I know."
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Well, let me introduce you,
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sweetheart.
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(SIGHS)
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And I'm not gonna say a word
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about her marriage
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because
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that's her personal life,
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even if she chose
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to marry a rich boy
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who looks like
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Celine Dion's sad niece.
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You know, she went after him,
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but he said no.
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No, not unless she converted.
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So she meets with a rabbi,
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and overnight,
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alakazam, sis-boom-bah,
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she's suddenly Jewish...
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like it's a-- a L'Oréal product!
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Ugh. Oh, God.
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Enough. I'm sorry.
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I-- I-- I'm really tired of it.
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We're all so tired of it.
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So, today...
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as a diversion, as an antidote,
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I decide I'm gonna enjoy
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New York City.
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(SIGHS) What?
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Oh! (LAUGHS) I'm retired.
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After 45 years as a teacher
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in the Queens Public School
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System,
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did I mention I'm Jewish?
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(LAUGHS)
289
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:50,417
And I loved it.
290
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:50,417
All those children.
291
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,792
They gave me so much hope,
292
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,792
such happiness,
293
00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:55,167
because teaching a child
294
00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:55,167
to read, you think...
295
00:07:56,083 --> 00:07:57,708
"Oh, that child has a chance."
296
00:07:57,792 --> 00:08:00,208
And not just a chance to--
297
00:07:57,792 --> 00:08:00,208
to-- to go to college
298
00:08:00,292 --> 00:08:03,458
and get a good job, but a chance
299
00:08:00,292 --> 00:08:03,458
to learn to love reading,
300
00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:06,292
to be curious,
301
00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:06,292
to discover the whole world.
302
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:09,458
Maybe even the theater.
303
00:08:09,542 --> 00:08:12,542
You like the theater?
304
00:08:09,542 --> 00:08:12,542
Oh, you love Phantom?
305
00:08:13,083 --> 00:08:14,542
So that's a no.
306
00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:17,083
I'm kidding! (LAUGHS)
307
00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:19,792
Well, anyway, today,
308
00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:19,792
I have a ticket
309
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,375
for a matinee at The Public,
310
00:08:21,458 --> 00:08:24,500
and I have some time, so I go
311
00:08:21,458 --> 00:08:24,500
to the Starbucks down the block.
312
00:08:24,583 --> 00:08:26,833
And I'm sitting by myself,
313
00:08:24,583 --> 00:08:26,833
sipping my latte,
314
00:08:26,917 --> 00:08:28,542
reading the business section,
315
00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:30,750
which I brought
316
00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:30,750
in my NPR tote bag.
317
00:08:30,833 --> 00:08:35,083
Mm, don't you do it, officer,
318
00:08:30,833 --> 00:08:35,083
don't you mock my tote bag...
319
00:08:35,167 --> 00:08:37,667
(LAUGHS) Because, officer,
320
00:08:35,167 --> 00:08:37,667
you want to know a secret?
321
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,750
That's how
322
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,750
we recognize each other.
323
00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:41,167
Women like me.
324
00:08:41,792 --> 00:08:42,917
It's a secret code.
325
00:08:43,708 --> 00:08:46,417
NPR. The New Yorker.
326
00:08:47,958 --> 00:08:50,208
The Estée Lauder tote bag
327
00:08:47,958 --> 00:08:50,208
as a gift with purchase
328
00:08:50,292 --> 00:08:54,000
with the Barnes & Noble
329
00:08:50,292 --> 00:08:54,000
Virginia Woolf Centennial
330
00:08:50,292 --> 00:08:54,000
tote bag
331
00:08:54,083 --> 00:08:56,667
folded up inside. Shh.
332
00:08:54,083 --> 00:08:56,667
(CHUCKLES)
333
00:08:58,375 --> 00:08:59,417
Then I see him.
334
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,417
Two tables away, he's...
335
00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:07,792
(SIGHS) He's about 40.
336
00:09:07,875 --> 00:09:10,083
He's wearing jeans
337
00:09:07,875 --> 00:09:10,083
and a windbreaker and--
338
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:12,458
and the hat.
339
00:09:14,417 --> 00:09:15,667
The red hat.
340
00:09:17,375 --> 00:09:20,375
You know the one. The MAGA hat.
341
00:09:20,458 --> 00:09:23,208
The "Make America
342
00:09:20,458 --> 00:09:23,208
Great Again" hat
343
00:09:23,292 --> 00:09:27,250
in New York City,
344
00:09:23,292 --> 00:09:27,250
in the East Village,
345
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,875
two blocks
346
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,875
from The Public Theater,
347
00:09:28,958 --> 00:09:30,750
at Cooper Union,
348
00:09:28,958 --> 00:09:30,750
where Lincoln spoke,
349
00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:31,917
and Larry Kramer!
350
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,625
It's like me going to Nebraska
351
00:09:33,708 --> 00:09:35,750
wearing a yarmulke,
352
00:09:33,708 --> 00:09:35,750
waving a rainbow flag
353
00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:38,208
while reading a book. (SIGHS)
354
00:09:38,292 --> 00:09:39,500
And I apologize to Nebraska.
355
00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:42,500
I'm sure they're very
356
00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:42,500
lovely people there, but...
357
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,833
you know their state bird
358
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,833
is a meadowlark?
359
00:09:46,792 --> 00:09:47,833
They shot it.
360
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,458
And at first, I think,
361
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,458
"Miriam, don't do it. Oh, God.
362
00:09:53,542 --> 00:09:55,375
Miriam, don't do it.
363
00:09:53,542 --> 00:09:55,375
Don't take the bait."
364
00:09:56,625 --> 00:09:59,542
(SIGHS) But then I think,
365
00:09:56,625 --> 00:09:59,542
"Maybe he's a psychology student
366
00:09:59,625 --> 00:10:01,375
and it's an experiment."
367
00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:05,000
And then I think, "Nah.
368
00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:05,000
It's a performance piece."
369
00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:07,458
Because in the East Village,
370
00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:07,458
you never know.
371
00:10:07,542 --> 00:10:09,958
I once saw a naked man
372
00:10:07,542 --> 00:10:09,958
standing on a street corner
373
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:12,542
screaming obscenities
374
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:12,542
at a Cabbage Patch doll.
375
00:10:12,625 --> 00:10:14,000
Two Obies and a Drama Desk.
376
00:10:15,708 --> 00:10:16,875
But then it happens.
377
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:20,000
He's reading the paper.
378
00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:22,875
Not the Times.
379
00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:22,875
Something conservative.
380
00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:25,792
(SIGHS) And he says...
381
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,667
And not under his breath.
382
00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:30,458
Right out loud, he says,
383
00:10:31,292 --> 00:10:32,833
"Lock her up!"
384
00:10:32,917 --> 00:10:36,375
And he looks all around
385
00:10:32,917 --> 00:10:36,375
at the students and the tourists
386
00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:37,917
and me. He looks right at me.
387
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,792
He says it again, "Lock her up!
388
00:10:39,875 --> 00:10:41,917
That stupid bitch Hillary,
389
00:10:39,875 --> 00:10:41,917
right?
390
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,333
She should be in jail."
391
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:44,833
(HUFFS)
392
00:10:47,417 --> 00:10:48,375
Okay.
393
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:51,750
Hillary.
394
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:56,375
I know she's not perfect.
395
00:10:57,875 --> 00:10:59,333
She can be a little chilly,
396
00:10:59,417 --> 00:11:01,583
a little pleased with herself
397
00:10:59,417 --> 00:11:01,583
sometimes, but to me,
398
00:11:01,667 --> 00:11:03,708
she's the New York Times
399
00:11:01,667 --> 00:11:03,708
in a pantsuit.
400
00:11:03,792 --> 00:11:05,042
I love her.
401
00:11:05,917 --> 00:11:07,042
She's my generation.
402
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,042
She wanted to make a difference,
403
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,042
so she tried everything.
404
00:11:09,125 --> 00:11:12,083
She pushed, she fought,
405
00:11:09,125 --> 00:11:12,083
she kept her eyes on the prize.
406
00:11:13,958 --> 00:11:15,333
(SIGHS) And she lost.
407
00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:18,458
She won
408
00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:18,458
by three million votes...
409
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,667
but she lost...
410
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:25,292
because the Electoral College
411
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:25,292
is a white Republican man
412
00:11:25,375 --> 00:11:28,833
who says,
413
00:11:25,375 --> 00:11:28,833
"Not so fast, little lady."
414
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:37,000
Okay. I... I feel...
415
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,917
I really need to ask you
416
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,917
a question.
417
00:11:43,417 --> 00:11:44,542
Are you a Republican?
418
00:11:46,292 --> 00:11:47,333
Be honest.
419
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,125
(GASPS) Oh, thank God!
420
00:11:50,208 --> 00:11:52,708
(PANTS) Because then
421
00:11:50,208 --> 00:11:52,708
I'd have to gouge out your heart
422
00:11:52,792 --> 00:11:54,125
with my house keys.
423
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:57,042
I'm kidding. (CHUCKLES)
424
00:11:58,750 --> 00:11:59,792
No, I'm not.
425
00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:05,875
If you want to know
426
00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:05,875
what it means to be a woman...
427
00:12:06,917 --> 00:12:09,958
in America,
428
00:12:06,917 --> 00:12:09,958
you just take a look at Hillary.
429
00:12:10,042 --> 00:12:12,917
While her husband got to be
430
00:12:10,042 --> 00:12:12,917
charming and handsome,
431
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,708
slept with everything
432
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,708
that moved,
433
00:12:14,792 --> 00:12:18,000
she had to grit her teeth
434
00:12:14,792 --> 00:12:18,000
in public,
435
00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:20,417
and no matter what she did
436
00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:20,417
or said or wore,
437
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,458
she was attacked. (CHUCKLES)
438
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,583
Too smart! Too opinionated.
439
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,583
Too blonde. Not blonde enough.
440
00:12:26,458 --> 00:12:28,458
(SCOFFS) And maybe...
441
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,708
maybe people were right
442
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,708
about her. Maybe--
443
00:12:32,792 --> 00:12:36,458
maybe she was too compromised.
444
00:12:32,792 --> 00:12:36,458
I... I never saw it.
445
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:41,542
Maybe she wanted it too--
446
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:41,542
too nakedly...
447
00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:43,333
and they wanted to punish her
448
00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:43,333
for that.
449
00:12:44,417 --> 00:12:46,125
As for me,
450
00:12:44,417 --> 00:12:46,125
I'm only gonna say this...
451
00:12:48,583 --> 00:12:51,000
She mattered to me.
452
00:12:51,083 --> 00:12:53,708
(SIGHS) She was a woman
453
00:12:51,083 --> 00:12:53,708
who tried her best,
454
00:12:53,792 --> 00:12:56,042
and the whole world said,
455
00:12:53,792 --> 00:12:56,042
"Fuck you!"
456
00:12:58,542 --> 00:13:02,417
(SOBS) I don't know
457
00:12:58,542 --> 00:13:02,417
what's happening to me.
458
00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:04,750
I never used to talk like this.
459
00:13:04,833 --> 00:13:07,500
This language,
460
00:13:04,833 --> 00:13:07,500
it's so offensive.
461
00:13:07,583 --> 00:13:09,708
And yet,
462
00:13:07,583 --> 00:13:09,708
since the election, I...
463
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,417
I haven't been able
464
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,417
to stop cursing.
465
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,833
The other day,
466
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,833
I bought another tote bag.
467
00:13:16,917 --> 00:13:19,458
It said, "Bed, Bath
468
00:13:16,917 --> 00:13:19,458
and Fuck You!" (LAUGHS)
469
00:13:19,542 --> 00:13:22,583
So, I'm at Starbucks,
470
00:13:19,542 --> 00:13:22,583
and I stand up and I walk over
471
00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:23,833
and I say to the guy...
472
00:13:26,125 --> 00:13:28,375
"So... the hat.
473
00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:31,625
Why are you wearing it?"
474
00:13:31,708 --> 00:13:35,125
And he looks me up and down,
475
00:13:31,708 --> 00:13:35,125
and he smirks.
476
00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:37,792
And I know
477
00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:37,792
I shouldn't be judging,
478
00:13:37,875 --> 00:13:40,042
but show me one person
479
00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:43,000
who voted for that man
480
00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:43,000
who doesn't smirk.
481
00:13:44,292 --> 00:13:45,333
And he says...
482
00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:51,333
"I'm wearing it because
483
00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:51,333
it drives you fuckin' nuts."
484
00:13:52,375 --> 00:13:54,083
(INHALES)
485
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,042
(SIGHS) And I think to myself,
486
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,042
"Well..."
487
00:13:57,125 --> 00:13:59,125
(KISSES TEETH) "He's not wrong."
488
00:13:59,208 --> 00:14:03,792
And then I say, "But why do you
489
00:13:59,208 --> 00:14:03,792
want to drive me fuckin' nuts?"
490
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:07,958
And I say it clearly.
491
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:07,958
I asked the question
492
00:14:08,042 --> 00:14:13,375
so the "you repulsive piece
493
00:14:08,042 --> 00:14:13,375
of racist shit" is silent.
494
00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:17,833
And he says, "Because you got
495
00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:17,833
Obama. What did we get?"
496
00:14:21,708 --> 00:14:23,417
And I just have to
497
00:14:21,708 --> 00:14:23,417
stop and think
498
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:26,667
because I have no idea
499
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:26,667
what he's talking about.
500
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:30,458
So I say to him,
501
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:30,458
"But what did you want
502
00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:32,750
that Obama didn't give you
503
00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:32,750
or try to give you?
504
00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:36,042
Healthcare?
505
00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:36,042
A-- a-- a good job?
506
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,333
A decent place to live?
507
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,333
Did you want to-- did you want--
508
00:14:38,417 --> 00:14:40,208
did you want to feel like people
509
00:14:38,417 --> 00:14:40,208
were listening to you?"
510
00:14:40,292 --> 00:14:43,458
He says, "Nah. What--
511
00:14:40,292 --> 00:14:43,458
Yeah, whatever. Sure.
512
00:14:43,542 --> 00:14:46,583
But mostly, mostly," he says...
513
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:51,000
"I look at people like you...
514
00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:55,917
in your nice clothes and your--
515
00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:55,917
your bachelor's degree,
516
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,125
your fancy coffee with
517
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,125
your New York fuckin' Times,
518
00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:02,333
and I think, 'Fuck you.'
519
00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:02,333
You're not better than me."
520
00:15:02,792 --> 00:15:04,458
(SIGHS)
521
00:15:04,542 --> 00:15:08,125
And do you know what it took
522
00:15:04,542 --> 00:15:08,125
for me not to say...
523
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:10,875
"Master's degree?"
524
00:15:12,125 --> 00:15:13,125
But I don't.
525
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,667
I suck it up...
526
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,083
and I say,
527
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,083
"But I'm not better than you
528
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:21,542
because we're all--
529
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:21,542
we're all created equal.
530
00:15:22,375 --> 00:15:23,917
And I would fight to the death
531
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,042
for your right
532
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,042
to wear that hat."
533
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:29,875
And he smirks and he's laughing
534
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:29,875
and he says,
535
00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:32,958
"Ha! And that's
536
00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:32,958
why you're fucked!" (LAUGHS)
537
00:15:33,042 --> 00:15:35,792
"You did it to yourself!"
538
00:15:33,042 --> 00:15:35,792
(LAUGHS)
539
00:15:35,875 --> 00:15:39,792
"And that's why we won,
540
00:15:35,875 --> 00:15:39,792
because we don't care."
541
00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:41,792
And now my breathing
542
00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:41,792
is getting choppy,
543
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,292
and he sees that,
544
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,292
and he's really happy
545
00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:46,208
'cause he knows he's getting
546
00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:46,208
to me. I'm taking the bait.
547
00:15:46,292 --> 00:15:48,667
And then he says,
548
00:15:46,292 --> 00:15:48,667
"And you know what else?
549
00:15:48,750 --> 00:15:50,125
Hillary was never gonna win,
550
00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:52,333
'cause no matter what
551
00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:52,333
your husband told you
552
00:15:52,417 --> 00:15:54,625
to shut you up,
553
00:15:52,417 --> 00:15:54,625
he hated that bitch
554
00:15:54,708 --> 00:15:56,333
just like every other guy
555
00:15:54,708 --> 00:15:56,333
in the world,
556
00:15:56,417 --> 00:15:58,292
and most of the women too!
557
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,125
I dare you. Ask him."
558
00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:01,542
(PANTS)
559
00:16:03,292 --> 00:16:04,500
And then I just stop.
560
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:08,750
And I don't want to.
561
00:16:08,833 --> 00:16:10,792
I'm fighting it
562
00:16:08,833 --> 00:16:10,792
with everything that's in me...
563
00:16:11,958 --> 00:16:13,083
but I remember...
564
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:18,042
my Nick, my husband, Nick...
565
00:16:19,833 --> 00:16:23,083
who marched...
566
00:16:19,833 --> 00:16:23,083
who signed every petition...
567
00:16:24,042 --> 00:16:25,333
who taught Phys Ed.
568
00:16:26,292 --> 00:16:29,500
My husband, Nick,
569
00:16:26,292 --> 00:16:29,500
who got cancer,
570
00:16:30,792 --> 00:16:32,375
but who stayed glued
571
00:16:30,792 --> 00:16:32,375
to the television,
572
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:35,458
who'd get so angry that I knew
573
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:35,458
it must be affecting his health,
574
00:16:35,542 --> 00:16:37,000
so I made him turn it off.
575
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:41,250
My Nick, who was in so much pain
576
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:41,250
and on so much morphine
577
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,417
that he-- he lapsed into a coma.
578
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,833
And when he finally
579
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,833
came out of it,
580
00:16:44,917 --> 00:16:45,958
it was after the election.
581
00:16:46,042 --> 00:16:47,833
He looks up at me,
582
00:16:46,042 --> 00:16:47,833
and he says...
583
00:16:49,292 --> 00:16:51,083
"She won. She won, right?"
584
00:16:53,375 --> 00:16:55,250
And I wasn't gonna tell him,
585
00:16:53,375 --> 00:16:55,250
but the nurse...
586
00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:57,167
She didn't know any better.
587
00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:57,167
She was just a kid.
588
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,667
She said, "No." (INHALES)
589
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:01,250
And she said that name,
590
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:01,250
she said the name,
591
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:03,208
that man's name, and Nick...
592
00:17:03,292 --> 00:17:05,958
Oh my God.
593
00:17:03,292 --> 00:17:05,958
Nick's eyes got so wide.
594
00:17:06,042 --> 00:17:08,208
(SOBS) He started choking,
595
00:17:08,292 --> 00:17:09,875
clenching his fist,
596
00:17:08,292 --> 00:17:09,875
trying to s--
597
00:17:09,958 --> 00:17:11,417
trying to sit up, and then...
598
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:18,708
And then he was gone.
599
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,042
And that's what
600
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,042
I'll never forgive.
601
00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:29,458
(EXHALES) That man...
602
00:17:31,042 --> 00:17:34,750
that smug criminal...
603
00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:38,625
hateful man who uses
604
00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:38,625
Metamucil for makeup.
605
00:17:40,042 --> 00:17:41,375
That man killed my husband.
606
00:17:43,542 --> 00:17:46,708
That man made a liberal
607
00:17:43,542 --> 00:17:46,708
Jewish gym teacher...
608
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,958
explode.
609
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,917
So when that guy at Starbucks,
610
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,917
when that guy says,
611
00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,208
"Nick hated Hillary," I--
612
00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,208
I snapped. I lost it.
613
00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:02,792
I went full-on
614
00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:02,792
Worldwide Wrestling Federation,
615
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,625
Navy Seal, Jason Bourne Goa,
616
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,625
and I grabbed that hat.
617
00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:07,000
I'm gonna throw it
618
00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:07,000
on the ground,
619
00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:08,583
but he grabs my arm,
620
00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:08,583
and he's twisting it.
621
00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:12,125
He says, "That's my hat, bitch!"
622
00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:12,125
I said, "Not today, asshole!"
623
00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:14,000
And I yank my arm away,
624
00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:14,000
but I keep the hat,
625
00:18:14,083 --> 00:18:17,625
and I run right out of Starbucks
626
00:18:14,083 --> 00:18:17,625
down the street.
627
00:18:17,708 --> 00:18:19,000
He's chasing me
628
00:18:17,708 --> 00:18:19,000
for two city blocks.
629
00:18:19,083 --> 00:18:21,000
Thank you, Doctor Scholl's
630
00:18:19,083 --> 00:18:21,000
air cushioned insoles!
631
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:24,000
And I tear up the stairs
632
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:24,000
like a fuckin' mountain climber.
633
00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:25,000
My heart is pounding.
634
00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:26,833
I'm operating
635
00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:26,833
on pure adrenaline.
636
00:18:26,917 --> 00:18:29,083
And he's yelling,
637
00:18:26,917 --> 00:18:29,083
"Give it back! Give it back!"
638
00:18:29,167 --> 00:18:34,625
And I say, "This is The New York
639
00:18:29,167 --> 00:18:34,625
Public Theater,
640
00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:37,500
the home of Hamilton,
641
00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:37,500
Shakespeare in the Park
642
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:40,125
and A Chorus Line.
643
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:40,125
You have no power here!"
644
00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:42,625
And he says, "The fuck I don't!"
645
00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:42,625
And he grabs the hat
646
00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:45,750
and he shoves me with both hands
647
00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:45,750
like he wants to kill me.
648
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:49,083
(PANTS) And I lose my balance,
649
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:49,083
and I'm on the floor...
650
00:18:50,458 --> 00:18:51,500
on my back.
651
00:18:53,125 --> 00:18:54,125
And he leaves...
652
00:18:56,708 --> 00:18:57,750
and he's laughing.
653
00:19:01,458 --> 00:19:02,875
And now everyone
654
00:19:01,458 --> 00:19:02,875
is all gathered around.
655
00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:04,542
"Oh my God. Oh my God.
656
00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:04,542
Are you all right?
657
00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:06,250
Are you all right?
658
00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:06,250
Do you have a concussion?
659
00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:08,292
What'll we do?
660
00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:08,292
Should we call 911?" And...
661
00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:13,917
(SIGHS) I just don't know
662
00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:13,917
what to say.
663
00:19:17,292 --> 00:19:18,708
I got a bump on my head.
664
00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:21,417
I've twisted my ankle, but...
665
00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:23,792
I don't even care...
666
00:19:24,917 --> 00:19:28,208
because I-- I'm looking around,
667
00:19:24,917 --> 00:19:28,208
see...
668
00:19:30,292 --> 00:19:33,625
and I say to myself...
669
00:19:30,292 --> 00:19:33,625
(CHUCKLES)
670
00:19:33,708 --> 00:19:35,000
"What am I doing here?
671
00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:41,417
Why am I trying to see a play
672
00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:41,417
and learn about the world
673
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:43,417
and-- and keep up with things?
674
00:19:45,375 --> 00:19:46,792
What good does it do?
675
00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:49,250
Who does it help?"
676
00:19:54,583 --> 00:19:56,083
And that was the moment when...
677
00:19:58,292 --> 00:19:59,333
I can't say it.
678
00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:05,875
I can't say it. It's blasphemy.
679
00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:08,208
It's unthinkable.
680
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:12,458
No, you know what?
681
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:12,458
I'm gonna tell you,
682
00:20:12,542 --> 00:20:14,917
because you really
683
00:20:12,542 --> 00:20:14,917
will understand.
684
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:18,792
That was the moment...
685
00:20:19,708 --> 00:20:22,000
when I almost cancelled
686
00:20:19,708 --> 00:20:22,000
my subscription
687
00:20:22,083 --> 00:20:23,375
to The Public Theater.
688
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:26,833
Do I shock you?
689
00:20:29,208 --> 00:20:30,208
But it's true.
690
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:34,458
I had looked into the abyss.
691
00:20:36,917 --> 00:20:38,000
I said, "No more."
692
00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:40,083
No more five-hour plays
693
00:20:40,167 --> 00:20:43,333
where people in nice apartments
694
00:20:40,167 --> 00:20:43,333
debate socialism.
695
00:20:43,417 --> 00:20:46,083
No more musicals
696
00:20:43,417 --> 00:20:46,083
about Joan of Arc
697
00:20:46,167 --> 00:20:47,792
as she was fighting the Taliban.
698
00:20:47,875 --> 00:20:49,083
Because everything,
699
00:20:49,167 --> 00:20:52,500
my whole life,
700
00:20:49,167 --> 00:20:52,500
my whole image of myself
701
00:20:52,583 --> 00:20:54,542
as a decent, cultured...
702
00:20:56,208 --> 00:20:58,500
curious human being...
703
00:20:59,208 --> 00:21:00,208
Why...
704
00:21:02,292 --> 00:21:03,625
it was just a bad joke.
705
00:21:05,542 --> 00:21:08,750
A cliché. (STAMMERS) Fake news.
706
00:21:12,125 --> 00:21:15,125
And then this young woman
707
00:21:12,125 --> 00:21:15,125
comes over.
708
00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:17,542
She's wearing overalls,
709
00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:17,542
and a pink pussy hat and--
710
00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:20,208
and a ring in her nose,
711
00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:20,208
and not on the side, either.
712
00:21:20,292 --> 00:21:22,333
We're talking
713
00:21:20,292 --> 00:21:22,333
the full Ferdinand.
714
00:21:22,417 --> 00:21:24,083
I mean, it's a look
715
00:21:22,417 --> 00:21:24,083
my mother would say,
716
00:21:24,167 --> 00:21:26,458
"Did you have to wear that
717
00:21:24,167 --> 00:21:26,458
to our Seder?"
718
00:21:28,583 --> 00:21:30,500
And she says her name
719
00:21:28,583 --> 00:21:30,500
is Heliotrope...
720
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:33,792
and she's the house manager,
721
00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:36,542
and she'd seen
722
00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:36,542
what just happened.
723
00:21:36,625 --> 00:21:38,417
She brings me some water
724
00:21:36,625 --> 00:21:38,417
and a ten-dollar brownie.
725
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:42,375
She says, "Go see the play.
726
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:42,375
You'll feel better."
727
00:21:42,458 --> 00:21:43,958
And I said, "But--
728
00:21:42,458 --> 00:21:43,958
but won't the play
729
00:21:44,042 --> 00:21:46,708
just blame all the world's
730
00:21:44,042 --> 00:21:46,708
problems on gentrification
731
00:21:46,792 --> 00:21:49,125
and inequality
732
00:21:46,792 --> 00:21:49,125
and the patriarchy
733
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:50,375
with full frontal nudity?"
734
00:21:50,458 --> 00:21:53,583
She says, "What do you got
735
00:21:50,458 --> 00:21:53,583
against nudity?" I said...
736
00:21:53,667 --> 00:21:58,167
(SIGHS) "Nothing, but it's
737
00:21:53,667 --> 00:21:58,167
always the wrong people."
738
00:21:58,250 --> 00:21:59,292
(CHUCKLES)
739
00:22:02,250 --> 00:22:03,417
But I thought about it...
740
00:22:05,083 --> 00:22:06,750
because I knew I had a choice...
741
00:22:09,208 --> 00:22:11,917
to see the play, or surrender.
742
00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:16,833
To have some guts...
743
00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:16,833
or give up.
744
00:22:17,958 --> 00:22:19,917
And I looked at Heliotrope...
745
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:22,500
and I said...
746
00:22:24,792 --> 00:22:26,500
"I'll bet your real name
747
00:22:24,792 --> 00:22:26,500
is Helen."
748
00:22:27,333 --> 00:22:31,083
But she was young. She had hope.
749
00:22:31,167 --> 00:22:33,000
And then I thought about Nick,
750
00:22:33,083 --> 00:22:36,250
and everything
751
00:22:33,083 --> 00:22:36,250
he was so passionate about.
752
00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:41,042
(LAUGHS) And I looked around
753
00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:41,042
at all the other theatergoers,
754
00:22:41,667 --> 00:22:42,708
and I thought...
755
00:22:45,292 --> 00:22:47,583
"Every ticket is a weapon.
756
00:22:49,125 --> 00:22:52,542
Fighting that guy,
757
00:22:49,125 --> 00:22:52,542
fighting that bastard
758
00:22:52,625 --> 00:22:54,750
and fighting all the bastards."
759
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,083
And then I thought,
760
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,083
"Miriam of Arc,
761
00:22:58,792 --> 00:23:00,167
that's who I am."
762
00:23:00,875 --> 00:23:02,458
Joan of Arc. Hmm.
763
00:23:03,625 --> 00:23:05,042
I'm Miriam of Arc...
764
00:23:05,875 --> 00:23:07,542
because I stand for something,
765
00:23:07,625 --> 00:23:09,625
and everyone in this lobby,
766
00:23:09,708 --> 00:23:11,625
we all stand for something...
767
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:16,042
and everything
768
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:16,042
that man is afraid of,
769
00:23:16,125 --> 00:23:18,333
everything
770
00:23:16,125 --> 00:23:18,333
he doesn't understand,
771
00:23:18,417 --> 00:23:19,625
everything he hates.
772
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:24,458
So I got to my feet,
773
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:24,458
brushed myself off,
774
00:23:25,458 --> 00:23:26,958
put on some lipstick,
775
00:23:25,458 --> 00:23:26,958
and I said,
776
00:23:27,042 --> 00:23:29,083
"Fuck you,
777
00:23:27,042 --> 00:23:29,083
Mister MAGA hat dickwad.
778
00:23:29,167 --> 00:23:33,042
I am going to see a play."
779
00:23:33,125 --> 00:23:36,375
And when I get out,
780
00:23:33,125 --> 00:23:36,375
there you are, officer,
781
00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:38,417
because that guy filed
782
00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:38,417
a complaint
783
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:41,125
because I'd threatened him,
784
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:41,125
which I did,
785
00:23:41,208 --> 00:23:44,292
and which I would do again
786
00:23:41,208 --> 00:23:44,292
in a heartbeat.
787
00:23:44,375 --> 00:23:47,458
We want our country back,
788
00:23:44,375 --> 00:23:47,458
and we are going to march
789
00:23:47,542 --> 00:23:50,333
and sign petitions
790
00:23:47,542 --> 00:23:50,333
and register people to vote,
791
00:23:50,417 --> 00:23:53,333
and we are gonna watch
792
00:23:50,417 --> 00:23:53,333
Norwegian detective shows on HBO
793
00:23:53,417 --> 00:23:56,250
because that's what we do.
794
00:23:53,417 --> 00:23:56,250
We fight.
795
00:23:57,167 --> 00:23:58,167
We tweet.
796
00:23:58,250 --> 00:24:01,542
Some of us even TikTok,
797
00:23:58,250 --> 00:24:01,542
whatever the fuck that is.
798
00:24:01,625 --> 00:24:05,042
(SIGHS) So take a good look
799
00:24:01,625 --> 00:24:05,042
at me, officer.
800
00:24:05,750 --> 00:24:06,667
Remember my face
801
00:24:06,750 --> 00:24:08,708
and my drugstore
802
00:24:06,750 --> 00:24:08,708
reading glasses...
803
00:24:10,542 --> 00:24:11,542
and my spirit...
804
00:24:13,250 --> 00:24:15,458
because I'm the wall.
805
00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:19,917
Lock me up.
806
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:23,750
(CROWD CHEERING)
807
00:24:24,583 --> 00:24:26,125
MIKE PENCE: That institution
808
00:24:26,208 --> 00:24:28,250
that forms the backbone
809
00:24:26,208 --> 00:24:28,250
of our society,
810
00:24:28,333 --> 00:24:29,708
traditional marriage.
811
00:24:29,792 --> 00:24:32,542
It wasn't our idea.
812
00:24:29,792 --> 00:24:32,542
It was God's idea.
813
00:24:32,625 --> 00:24:35,208
(APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING)
814
00:24:35,292 --> 00:24:37,583
(CHEERING FADES)
815
00:24:37,667 --> 00:24:38,875
Hi, Doctor Morton.
816
00:24:40,125 --> 00:24:43,708
It's Mark Hesterman.
817
00:24:40,125 --> 00:24:43,708
Thank you so much for seeing me.
818
00:24:43,792 --> 00:24:46,292
Yeah, my regular therapist,
819
00:24:43,792 --> 00:24:46,292
Doctor Beret,
820
00:24:46,375 --> 00:24:47,750
he's recovering, thank God,
821
00:24:47,833 --> 00:24:49,250
but he still has a fever
822
00:24:47,833 --> 00:24:49,250
and chills,
823
00:24:49,333 --> 00:24:50,708
and the coughing
824
00:24:49,333 --> 00:24:50,708
was getting to me.
825
00:24:50,792 --> 00:24:51,833
(CHUCKLES) So...
826
00:24:51,917 --> 00:24:53,875
I'm so sorry, by the way,
827
00:24:51,917 --> 00:24:53,875
to have taken you away
828
00:24:53,958 --> 00:24:55,833
from your friend's
829
00:24:53,958 --> 00:24:55,833
drive-by baby shower.
830
00:24:55,917 --> 00:24:57,083
That sounds so sweet.
831
00:24:57,167 --> 00:25:00,875
And I would love to have a baby
832
00:24:57,167 --> 00:25:00,875
at some point... ish.
833
00:25:00,958 --> 00:25:02,917
It's just, um... (CHUCKLES)
834
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,417
I have been feeling
835
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,417
kind of stuck lately,
836
00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:08,750
and I think I might need
837
00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:08,750
to just talk this out,
838
00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:11,417
otherwise my brain
839
00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:11,417
might short-circuit.
840
00:25:11,500 --> 00:25:15,042
So... here's what's going on.
841
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,042
I'm an actor.
842
00:25:20,292 --> 00:25:22,083
Have you seen me in anything?
843
00:25:22,167 --> 00:25:24,375
Um... (CHUCKLES) Well...
844
00:25:24,458 --> 00:25:28,167
I played a crusading gay
845
00:25:24,458 --> 00:25:28,167
congressional intern
846
00:25:28,250 --> 00:25:30,458
in that ABC series
847
00:25:28,250 --> 00:25:30,458
Halls of Power,
848
00:25:30,542 --> 00:25:33,417
which lasted a season
849
00:25:30,542 --> 00:25:33,417
but won a Peabody.
850
00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:36,000
And I played
851
00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:36,000
a rookie gay firefighter
852
00:25:36,083 --> 00:25:39,125
in Showtime's edgier
853
00:25:36,083 --> 00:25:39,125
Five Alarm Hangover,
854
00:25:39,208 --> 00:25:40,875
although I died
855
00:25:39,208 --> 00:25:40,875
in the third episode
856
00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:45,083
after sacrificing my own life
857
00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:45,083
to save a Klan member
858
00:25:45,167 --> 00:25:46,958
from a burning church,
859
00:25:47,042 --> 00:25:49,625
for which I was nominated
860
00:25:47,042 --> 00:25:49,625
for a Queer Spirit Award,
861
00:25:49,708 --> 00:25:54,167
which I know sounds sort of
862
00:25:49,708 --> 00:25:54,167
like a ghost story on Bravo.
863
00:25:54,250 --> 00:25:56,792
And I played a quirky gay
864
00:25:54,250 --> 00:25:56,792
tech guru
865
00:25:56,875 --> 00:25:59,875
on HBO's Early Adopters
866
00:25:56,875 --> 00:25:59,875
with a six-episode arc,
867
00:25:59,958 --> 00:26:02,167
although they might be
868
00:25:59,958 --> 00:26:02,167
bringing me back.
869
00:26:02,250 --> 00:26:03,458
I mean,
870
00:26:02,250 --> 00:26:03,458
people on Game of Thrones
871
00:26:03,542 --> 00:26:05,708
get eaten by dragons,
872
00:26:03,542 --> 00:26:05,708
and they come back, so...
873
00:26:06,583 --> 00:26:07,750
And I just booked a commercial
874
00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:09,583
where my boyfriend and I
875
00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:09,583
go on a picnic
876
00:26:09,667 --> 00:26:11,417
because
877
00:26:09,667 --> 00:26:11,417
we both have health insurance.
878
00:26:12,458 --> 00:26:15,958
So, and I--
879
00:26:12,458 --> 00:26:15,958
Yes, I mostly play gay roles,
880
00:26:16,042 --> 00:26:17,792
and I'm totally grateful
881
00:26:16,042 --> 00:26:17,792
for that
882
00:26:17,875 --> 00:26:21,042
because the huge majority
883
00:26:17,875 --> 00:26:21,042
of actors are unemployed,
884
00:26:21,125 --> 00:26:26,458
and, you know, I'm-- I'm all for
885
00:26:21,125 --> 00:26:26,458
queer representation. (CHUCKLES)
886
00:26:26,542 --> 00:26:30,000
Uh, yes. Sometimes I say "gay,"
887
00:26:26,542 --> 00:26:30,000
and sometimes I say "queer,"
888
00:26:30,083 --> 00:26:32,250
and sometimes I just show people
889
00:26:30,083 --> 00:26:32,250
a picture of myself
890
00:26:32,333 --> 00:26:33,417
on Halloween in high school
891
00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:35,833
dressed as Julianne Moore
892
00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:35,833
in The Hours. (CHUCKLES)
893
00:26:35,917 --> 00:26:37,833
And I love being gay,
894
00:26:37,917 --> 00:26:39,458
you know, which is sort of
895
00:26:37,917 --> 00:26:39,458
why I'm here,
896
00:26:39,542 --> 00:26:41,833
because for the past three weeks
897
00:26:39,542 --> 00:26:41,833
leading up to this...
898
00:26:42,792 --> 00:26:46,000
shutdown,
899
00:26:42,792 --> 00:26:46,000
I had been auditioning
900
00:26:46,083 --> 00:26:48,667
over and over again for...
901
00:26:50,042 --> 00:26:52,958
for what could be
902
00:26:50,042 --> 00:26:52,958
a breakthrough role.
903
00:26:53,042 --> 00:26:56,042
Not just for me, but kind of
904
00:26:53,042 --> 00:26:56,042
for the entire world...
905
00:26:57,250 --> 00:26:59,042
because the character's name
906
00:26:57,250 --> 00:26:59,042
is Fusion,
907
00:26:59,125 --> 00:27:02,417
and he would be the first
908
00:26:59,125 --> 00:27:02,417
big-screen summer blockbuster
909
00:27:02,500 --> 00:27:07,042
studio tentpole
910
00:27:02,500 --> 00:27:07,042
openly gay superhero.
911
00:27:08,667 --> 00:27:09,792
Exactly.
912
00:27:09,875 --> 00:27:11,792
So I have just been
913
00:27:09,875 --> 00:27:11,792
sitting here.
914
00:27:11,875 --> 00:27:14,917
I'm-- I'm supposed to hear
915
00:27:11,875 --> 00:27:14,917
from my agents and manager.
916
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,042
They're supposed to call me
917
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,042
or text me or something,
918
00:27:17,125 --> 00:27:19,667
because even though everyone's
919
00:27:17,125 --> 00:27:19,667
working from home,
920
00:27:19,750 --> 00:27:24,167
apparently the studio is making
921
00:27:19,750 --> 00:27:24,167
their final decision today.
922
00:27:24,250 --> 00:27:25,792
(LAUGHS)
923
00:27:25,875 --> 00:27:27,542
And I know
924
00:27:25,875 --> 00:27:27,542
this is probably sounding, like,
925
00:27:27,625 --> 00:27:29,208
very self-absorbed...
926
00:27:31,125 --> 00:27:34,583
but it's a lot deeper than that
927
00:27:31,125 --> 00:27:34,583
because, when I was younger,
928
00:27:34,667 --> 00:27:36,917
I used to search every movie
929
00:27:34,667 --> 00:27:36,917
and TV show
930
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,167
for even the tiniest
931
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,167
hints of gayness...
932
00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:45,500
and yes, I had My So-Called Life
933
00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:45,500
for a season.
934
00:27:45,583 --> 00:27:47,833
Which is why I think
935
00:27:45,583 --> 00:27:47,833
I love comic books so much,
936
00:27:47,917 --> 00:27:52,583
because there are just
937
00:27:47,917 --> 00:27:52,583
so many queer characters.
938
00:27:52,667 --> 00:27:55,333
You know, there's Iceman,
939
00:27:52,667 --> 00:27:55,333
who used to be straight
940
00:27:55,417 --> 00:27:57,208
until he accepted himself
941
00:27:55,417 --> 00:27:57,208
as gay,
942
00:27:57,292 --> 00:27:59,667
and Green Lantern is gay
943
00:27:57,292 --> 00:27:59,667
in a parallel universe,
944
00:27:59,750 --> 00:28:03,042
and Coagula is
945
00:27:59,750 --> 00:28:03,042
this incredible trans woman
946
00:28:03,125 --> 00:28:05,500
who can coagulate liquids
947
00:28:03,125 --> 00:28:05,500
and dissolve solids,
948
00:28:05,583 --> 00:28:07,583
and I love Josiah Power,
949
00:28:07,667 --> 00:28:10,333
who is not only gay
950
00:28:07,667 --> 00:28:10,333
and Black with super strength,
951
00:28:10,417 --> 00:28:13,000
but is also the foremost lawyer
952
00:28:10,417 --> 00:28:13,000
in Metropolis.
953
00:28:13,083 --> 00:28:15,125
And one of my favorites
954
00:28:13,083 --> 00:28:15,125
is Northstar,
955
00:28:15,208 --> 00:28:18,000
who's this Canadian
956
00:28:15,208 --> 00:28:18,000
Olympic skier with super speed
957
00:28:18,083 --> 00:28:21,875
and the ability to create
958
00:28:18,083 --> 00:28:21,875
these photonic energy blasts.
959
00:28:21,958 --> 00:28:23,375
And they have
960
00:28:21,958 --> 00:28:23,375
killed him off, like,
961
00:28:23,458 --> 00:28:24,583
at least three separate times,
962
00:28:24,667 --> 00:28:26,292
and he keeps
963
00:28:24,667 --> 00:28:26,292
getting resurrected,
964
00:28:26,375 --> 00:28:27,875
until recently,
965
00:28:26,375 --> 00:28:27,875
where he was recruited
966
00:28:27,958 --> 00:28:31,583
by the X-Men at Xavier Academy,
967
00:28:27,958 --> 00:28:31,583
where he now teaches
968
00:28:31,667 --> 00:28:35,625
business, economics, and French.
969
00:28:35,708 --> 00:28:37,792
And there are so many more,
970
00:28:37,875 --> 00:28:43,417
and they're all so smart
971
00:28:37,875 --> 00:28:43,417
and interesting and complicated,
972
00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:46,417
which is probably why
973
00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:46,417
I don't see them in the movies.
974
00:28:48,042 --> 00:28:49,458
And then there's Fusion...
975
00:28:50,292 --> 00:28:52,792
who is this young gay orphan
976
00:28:52,875 --> 00:28:55,875
who was raised in a string
977
00:28:52,875 --> 00:28:55,875
of abusive foster homes,
978
00:28:55,958 --> 00:29:00,042
and everybody bullied him
979
00:28:55,958 --> 00:29:00,042
and-- and worse.
980
00:29:01,708 --> 00:29:05,333
And one day, he goes to lie down
981
00:29:01,708 --> 00:29:05,333
on the railroad tracks
982
00:29:05,417 --> 00:29:09,750
to kill himself,
983
00:29:05,417 --> 00:29:09,750
when he is simultaneously
984
00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:12,542
run over by a train,
985
00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:12,542
struck by lightning,
986
00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:15,708
hit by a piece
987
00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:15,708
of radioactive asteroid,
988
00:29:15,792 --> 00:29:17,125
and his phone explodes.
989
00:29:18,250 --> 00:29:21,583
And all of those different forms
990
00:29:18,250 --> 00:29:21,583
of energy fuse...
991
00:29:22,583 --> 00:29:24,083
to form his superpowers,
992
00:29:24,167 --> 00:29:27,708
and he travels the world
993
00:29:24,167 --> 00:29:27,708
using those powers
994
00:29:27,792 --> 00:29:31,292
to fight racists,
995
00:29:27,792 --> 00:29:31,292
sexists, and homophobes.
996
00:29:33,042 --> 00:29:35,167
Find me a better superhero.
997
00:29:33,042 --> 00:29:35,167
(CHUCKLES)
998
00:29:36,708 --> 00:29:37,875
Find me a better part.
999
00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:43,000
And I-- I know this is sounding
1000
00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:43,000
so L.A....
1001
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,667
but I really want this part.
1002
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,667
(CHUCKLES)
1003
00:29:47,750 --> 00:29:50,583
I could act the shit
1004
00:29:47,750 --> 00:29:50,583
out of this part
1005
00:29:50,667 --> 00:29:53,875
because if you, you know,
1006
00:29:50,667 --> 00:29:53,875
include community theater,
1007
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,083
three emotionally
1008
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,083
unavailable ex-boyfriends,
1009
00:29:56,167 --> 00:29:59,875
and an uncanny ability to
1010
00:29:56,167 --> 00:29:59,875
predict Golden Globe nominees,
1011
00:29:59,958 --> 00:30:02,542
he and I are not that different.
1012
00:30:05,625 --> 00:30:09,375
Yes. Well, the audition,
1013
00:30:05,625 --> 00:30:09,375
which is, uh, why we're here,
1014
00:30:09,458 --> 00:30:11,500
okay, so not even
1015
00:30:09,458 --> 00:30:11,500
that long ago,
1016
00:30:11,583 --> 00:30:15,083
my being gay would be a secret,
1017
00:30:11,583 --> 00:30:15,083
and I'd be miserable.
1018
00:30:15,167 --> 00:30:18,042
But there has been progress,
1019
00:30:15,167 --> 00:30:18,042
thank God,
1020
00:30:18,125 --> 00:30:21,333
and I am now out and proud.
1021
00:30:21,417 --> 00:30:24,500
And I get to meet
1022
00:30:21,417 --> 00:30:24,500
out and proud casting directors
1023
00:30:24,583 --> 00:30:26,417
at out and proud fundraisers,
1024
00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:28,208
and I then get to audition
1025
00:30:28,292 --> 00:30:30,833
for those same
1026
00:30:28,292 --> 00:30:30,833
out and proud casting directors,
1027
00:30:30,917 --> 00:30:33,083
who then tell my agents
1028
00:30:30,917 --> 00:30:33,083
I'm too niche...
1029
00:30:34,417 --> 00:30:39,458
or emotional or "sophisticated"
1030
00:30:39,542 --> 00:30:41,167
or whatever
1031
00:30:39,542 --> 00:30:41,167
the current codes are
1032
00:30:41,250 --> 00:30:45,125
for being just a little too
1033
00:30:41,250 --> 00:30:45,125
out and proud.
1034
00:30:47,083 --> 00:30:48,667
Which is why Fusion
1035
00:30:47,083 --> 00:30:48,667
is so important,
1036
00:30:48,750 --> 00:30:50,167
because originally
1037
00:30:48,750 --> 00:30:50,167
they were gonna cast
1038
00:30:50,250 --> 00:30:52,917
a-- a straight actor
1039
00:30:50,250 --> 00:30:52,917
until, thanks to the internet
1040
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,542
and millions of Fusion fans
1041
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,542
from the comic books,
1042
00:30:55,625 --> 00:30:57,667
everyone said, "No way."
1043
00:30:57,750 --> 00:30:59,833
And then they were gonna hire
1044
00:30:57,750 --> 00:30:59,833
a-- a closeted actor
1045
00:30:59,917 --> 00:31:01,667
like that was
1046
00:30:59,917 --> 00:31:01,667
some sort of compromise,
1047
00:31:01,750 --> 00:31:03,208
but people said, "No."
1048
00:31:03,292 --> 00:31:05,917
Fusion can't bring his mom
1049
00:31:03,292 --> 00:31:05,917
to the Oscars
1050
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,083
because he's--
1051
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,083
he's not the gay best friend...
1052
00:31:10,458 --> 00:31:12,583
or the--
1053
00:31:10,458 --> 00:31:12,583
the quirky gay sidekick.
1054
00:31:14,625 --> 00:31:18,917
He is the lead of the movie.
1055
00:31:14,625 --> 00:31:18,917
(CHUCKLES)
1056
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,208
He is part of the Victory League
1057
00:31:22,292 --> 00:31:24,542
along with Power Blaster,
1058
00:31:22,292 --> 00:31:24,542
Death Stalker,
1059
00:31:24,625 --> 00:31:27,875
Tornado, Blue Ultra,
1060
00:31:24,625 --> 00:31:27,875
and Bobcat...
1061
00:31:27,958 --> 00:31:30,500
all of which admittedly sound
1062
00:31:27,958 --> 00:31:30,500
like minivans,
1063
00:31:30,583 --> 00:31:35,042
but they are being played
1064
00:31:30,583 --> 00:31:35,042
by A-list straight actors.
1065
00:31:36,875 --> 00:31:38,875
And one of them's
1066
00:31:36,875 --> 00:31:38,875
African American.
1067
00:31:38,958 --> 00:31:40,042
Thank you, Black Panther.
1068
00:31:40,125 --> 00:31:41,417
And one of them's
1069
00:31:40,125 --> 00:31:41,417
Korean American.
1070
00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:43,167
Thank you, Crazy Rich Asians.
1071
00:31:43,250 --> 00:31:44,833
And one of them's
1072
00:31:43,250 --> 00:31:44,833
Scarlett Johansson.
1073
00:31:44,917 --> 00:31:47,208
Thank you, Scarlett's agent.
1074
00:31:44,917 --> 00:31:47,208
And--
1075
00:31:47,292 --> 00:31:50,917
and I would be the gay one.
1076
00:31:47,292 --> 00:31:50,917
(CHUCKLES)
1077
00:31:52,958 --> 00:31:54,083
And maybe it's Hollywood
1078
00:31:54,167 --> 00:31:55,917
genuinely trying
1079
00:31:54,167 --> 00:31:55,917
to be inclusive,
1080
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,208
or maybe they're just doing it
1081
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,208
to be trendy, but okay.
1082
00:31:59,292 --> 00:32:03,000
Because in most movies...
1083
00:32:03,083 --> 00:32:05,167
the gay character falls in love
1084
00:32:03,083 --> 00:32:05,167
and dies...
1085
00:32:06,083 --> 00:32:08,167
or falls in love
1086
00:32:06,083 --> 00:32:08,167
and his partner dies,
1087
00:32:08,250 --> 00:32:09,375
or falls in love
1088
00:32:09,458 --> 00:32:12,125
and experiences approximately
1089
00:32:09,458 --> 00:32:12,125
30 seconds of happiness
1090
00:32:12,917 --> 00:32:14,333
before the end credits.
1091
00:32:16,333 --> 00:32:17,458
But this time...
1092
00:32:18,750 --> 00:32:19,875
just maybe...
1093
00:32:21,375 --> 00:32:25,833
the gay character could
1094
00:32:21,375 --> 00:32:25,833
fall in love and fucking fly.
1095
00:32:29,917 --> 00:32:34,625
So, they send me the script,
1096
00:32:29,917 --> 00:32:34,625
and I decide to play it safe,
1097
00:32:34,708 --> 00:32:38,083
you know, just straightforward,
1098
00:32:34,708 --> 00:32:38,083
wholesome, pure,
1099
00:32:38,167 --> 00:32:39,667
all-American superhero
1100
00:32:39,750 --> 00:32:43,708
who has just faced off
1101
00:32:39,750 --> 00:32:43,708
against the evil Valdor.
1102
00:32:46,125 --> 00:32:48,125
So-- so, I pop a beta blocker...
1103
00:32:49,083 --> 00:32:50,458
and I walk into the room...
1104
00:32:51,625 --> 00:32:53,000
and I give them what they want.
1105
00:33:00,917 --> 00:33:01,958
Don't worry, Susie.
1106
00:33:03,208 --> 00:33:06,458
Valdor can't hurt you.
1107
00:33:03,208 --> 00:33:06,458
Not now. Not anymore.
1108
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,083
Not without his head.
1109
00:33:11,750 --> 00:33:15,208
And, Susie, I want you to meet
1110
00:33:11,750 --> 00:33:15,208
my husband. This is Cortex.
1111
00:33:16,792 --> 00:33:18,833
Oh, no. He's right here.
1112
00:33:16,792 --> 00:33:18,833
He's just invisible.
1113
00:33:19,750 --> 00:33:21,875
He is also a superhero.
1114
00:33:25,375 --> 00:33:27,708
Yes, he is entirely faithful.
1115
00:33:25,375 --> 00:33:27,708
(CHUCKLES)
1116
00:33:27,792 --> 00:33:31,833
But more importantly,
1117
00:33:27,792 --> 00:33:31,833
the world has been saved
1118
00:33:31,917 --> 00:33:34,250
by all different types
1119
00:33:31,917 --> 00:33:34,250
of superheroes.
1120
00:33:38,208 --> 00:33:40,833
And I say thank you,
1121
00:33:38,208 --> 00:33:40,833
and I leave...
1122
00:33:40,917 --> 00:33:42,667
wondering if any of the other
1123
00:33:40,917 --> 00:33:42,667
superheroes
1124
00:33:42,750 --> 00:33:44,500
were asked about
1125
00:33:42,750 --> 00:33:44,500
their partner's fidelity
1126
00:33:44,583 --> 00:33:45,500
by a five-year-old girl,
1127
00:33:45,583 --> 00:33:48,292
and I know
1128
00:33:45,583 --> 00:33:48,292
I wasn't totally dropped in,
1129
00:33:48,375 --> 00:33:50,250
but I thought maybe
1130
00:33:48,375 --> 00:33:50,250
that's what they wanted.
1131
00:33:51,417 --> 00:33:52,875
And so, a week goes by,
1132
00:33:52,958 --> 00:33:54,375
and I finally hear
1133
00:33:52,958 --> 00:33:54,375
from my agent,
1134
00:33:54,458 --> 00:33:56,792
and they want to see me again.
1135
00:33:58,458 --> 00:34:00,750
So I go back in,
1136
00:33:58,458 --> 00:34:00,750
and immediately,
1137
00:34:00,833 --> 00:34:02,875
the director tells me
1138
00:34:00,833 --> 00:34:02,875
to forget about the script.
1139
00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:04,708
Just go for it.
1140
00:34:04,792 --> 00:34:07,958
Improvise. Be out there,
1141
00:34:04,792 --> 00:34:07,958
be beyond out there
1142
00:34:08,042 --> 00:34:10,583
because we don't want
1143
00:34:08,042 --> 00:34:10,583
to play it safe with Fusion,
1144
00:34:10,667 --> 00:34:13,708
so just-- just be super gay.
1145
00:34:21,167 --> 00:34:23,500
Hmm. "Super gay."
1146
00:34:27,833 --> 00:34:30,833
(CLEARS THROAT) So, I ask
1147
00:34:27,833 --> 00:34:30,833
if I could have a moment
1148
00:34:30,917 --> 00:34:32,875
just out in the hall...
1149
00:34:32,958 --> 00:34:36,333
and my first impulse is,
1150
00:34:32,958 --> 00:34:36,333
"Do not do this."
1151
00:34:36,417 --> 00:34:39,000
Because whatever
1152
00:34:36,417 --> 00:34:39,000
you're gonna do in there...
1153
00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:41,792
you won't own...
1154
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,583
because you're not celebrating
1155
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,583
your queerness,
1156
00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:47,125
that's not what this is,
1157
00:34:47,208 --> 00:34:49,333
because it's being
1158
00:34:47,208 --> 00:34:49,333
demanded of you
1159
00:34:49,417 --> 00:34:52,542
by a straight executive
1160
00:34:49,417 --> 00:34:52,542
who wants a cartoon.
1161
00:34:55,375 --> 00:34:56,583
And I-- I wouldn't do that.
1162
00:35:01,458 --> 00:35:02,500
But I'm there...
1163
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,250
at the callback...
1164
00:35:06,417 --> 00:35:09,792
and it's Fusion,
1165
00:35:06,417 --> 00:35:09,792
and it's opportunity,
1166
00:35:09,875 --> 00:35:11,750
and I panic, and I go back in.
1167
00:35:14,292 --> 00:35:15,417
I go back in.
1168
00:35:17,375 --> 00:35:20,417
Partly because I--
1169
00:35:17,375 --> 00:35:20,417
I didn't know what else to do,
1170
00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:24,333
and partly because I was scared
1171
00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:24,333
of letting them down.
1172
00:35:27,083 --> 00:35:28,125
(SCOFFS)
1173
00:35:30,042 --> 00:35:32,250
And I did what they asked.
1174
00:35:40,958 --> 00:35:42,000
Don't worry, Susie.
1175
00:35:43,708 --> 00:35:46,708
Valdor can't hurt you.
1176
00:35:43,708 --> 00:35:46,708
Not anymore.
1177
00:35:46,792 --> 00:35:48,542
Not without his head. (CHUCKLES)
1178
00:35:48,625 --> 00:35:51,167
Looks like someone needed
1179
00:35:48,625 --> 00:35:51,167
a haircut. (CHUCKLES)
1180
00:35:51,250 --> 00:35:55,000
Oh, and Susie, I want you
1181
00:35:51,250 --> 00:35:55,000
to meet my husband, Cortex.
1182
00:35:55,083 --> 00:35:56,333
He's invisible,
1183
00:35:56,417 --> 00:36:01,167
which means that he can do
1184
00:35:56,417 --> 00:36:01,167
whatever or whomever he wants.
1185
00:36:02,917 --> 00:36:04,750
And as for Valdor,
1186
00:36:02,917 --> 00:36:04,750
he might've thought
1187
00:36:04,833 --> 00:36:07,500
that the entire planet
1188
00:36:04,833 --> 00:36:07,500
was terrified of him,
1189
00:36:07,583 --> 00:36:10,000
but his only real superpower
1190
00:36:10,083 --> 00:36:13,458
was the ability
1191
00:36:10,083 --> 00:36:13,458
to end a pool party
1192
00:36:13,542 --> 00:36:17,083
just by showing up, sweetie.
1193
00:36:29,333 --> 00:36:32,125
And I say thank you,
1194
00:36:29,333 --> 00:36:32,125
and I leave...
1195
00:36:33,167 --> 00:36:36,208
and I get to my car...
1196
00:36:37,583 --> 00:36:39,208
and I start to sob.
1197
00:36:41,625 --> 00:36:43,875
And at first,
1198
00:36:41,625 --> 00:36:43,875
I don't even know why.
1199
00:36:43,958 --> 00:36:46,625
You know,
1200
00:36:43,958 --> 00:36:46,625
the tears are-- are flowing,
1201
00:36:46,708 --> 00:36:48,708
and I'm trying
1202
00:36:46,708 --> 00:36:48,708
to detangle my feelings.
1203
00:36:48,792 --> 00:36:50,583
Like, am I crying
1204
00:36:48,792 --> 00:36:50,583
because the whole thing
1205
00:36:50,667 --> 00:36:52,792
is just so fucking cliché?
1206
00:36:52,875 --> 00:36:57,458
Or am I crying
1207
00:36:52,875 --> 00:36:57,458
because I was just asked
1208
00:36:57,542 --> 00:37:02,417
to parade all of the magic
1209
00:36:57,542 --> 00:37:02,417
that I love about myself
1210
00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:04,583
in front of a room
1211
00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:04,583
full of strangers
1212
00:37:04,667 --> 00:37:07,042
like I was some sort
1213
00:37:04,667 --> 00:37:07,042
of carnival sideshow act?
1214
00:37:09,292 --> 00:37:12,083
And then my phone rings.
1215
00:37:09,292 --> 00:37:12,083
It's my agent.
1216
00:37:14,167 --> 00:37:16,208
"They loved it.
1217
00:37:16,292 --> 00:37:19,667
Don't change a thing.
1218
00:37:16,292 --> 00:37:19,667
They want to see you tomorrow.
1219
00:37:19,750 --> 00:37:21,917
You're still in the mix."
1220
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,125
So I go home to clear my head,
1221
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,125
and I turn on the TV
1222
00:37:25,208 --> 00:37:28,625
to just distract myself
1223
00:37:25,208 --> 00:37:28,625
for a second, but I can't...
1224
00:37:30,583 --> 00:37:31,958
because he is there.
1225
00:37:33,750 --> 00:37:36,583
The vice president of
1226
00:37:33,750 --> 00:37:36,583
the United States, Mike Pence.
1227
00:37:36,667 --> 00:37:40,125
And he's on the news
1228
00:37:36,667 --> 00:37:40,125
giving a speech at an army base
1229
00:37:40,208 --> 00:37:42,500
in Missouri about a mile
1230
00:37:40,208 --> 00:37:42,500
from where I was born.
1231
00:37:44,042 --> 00:37:46,000
And this is the same
1232
00:37:44,042 --> 00:37:46,000
Mike Pence that thought
1233
00:37:46,083 --> 00:37:50,083
that gay marriage would cause
1234
00:37:46,083 --> 00:37:50,083
societal collapse.
1235
00:37:50,167 --> 00:37:53,333
Mike Pence, who campaigned
1236
00:37:50,167 --> 00:37:53,333
for a constitutional amendment
1237
00:37:53,417 --> 00:37:55,750
to ban marriage equality
1238
00:37:53,417 --> 00:37:55,750
because it's not--
1239
00:37:55,833 --> 00:37:58,875
and I'm quoting him on this--
1240
00:37:55,833 --> 00:37:58,875
"God's idea."
1241
00:38:00,042 --> 00:38:02,083
And he wanted to ban
1242
00:38:00,042 --> 00:38:02,083
gay adoption,
1243
00:38:02,167 --> 00:38:03,333
and gays in the military,
1244
00:38:03,417 --> 00:38:05,375
and thought the Matthew Shepard
1245
00:38:03,417 --> 00:38:05,375
Hate Crimes Bill
1246
00:38:05,458 --> 00:38:08,208
was a "radical social agenda."
1247
00:38:08,292 --> 00:38:12,750
Mike Pence, whose wife,
1248
00:38:08,292 --> 00:38:12,750
whom he calls "mother,"
1249
00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:15,542
teaches at a school...
1250
00:38:16,375 --> 00:38:19,250
that doesn't just
1251
00:38:16,375 --> 00:38:19,250
expel gay kids,
1252
00:38:20,250 --> 00:38:24,333
it expels any kid
1253
00:38:20,250 --> 00:38:24,333
with a gay relative.
1254
00:38:26,333 --> 00:38:27,667
And she teaches art!
1255
00:38:29,792 --> 00:38:32,667
And here I am... (CHUCKLES)
1256
00:38:29,792 --> 00:38:32,667
...sitting on my couch,
1257
00:38:33,333 --> 00:38:36,208
having just exploited
1258
00:38:36,292 --> 00:38:39,958
all of the most charming parts
1259
00:38:36,292 --> 00:38:39,958
of myself...
1260
00:38:41,417 --> 00:38:44,750
for a job I might not even get.
1261
00:38:51,375 --> 00:38:53,333
But I agree to go back in.
1262
00:38:56,542 --> 00:38:58,375
And I go in the next day,
1263
00:38:56,542 --> 00:38:58,375
and I--
1264
00:38:58,458 --> 00:39:00,292
I haven't looked at the script,
1265
00:38:58,458 --> 00:39:00,292
because at this point,
1266
00:39:00,375 --> 00:39:02,875
the whole world just--
1267
00:39:00,375 --> 00:39:02,875
everything feels so absurd.
1268
00:39:04,167 --> 00:39:05,917
And I say hello to the people
1269
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,125
in their cashmere
1270
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,125
and Converse.
1271
00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:10,958
And I start the scene, except--
1272
00:39:11,042 --> 00:39:14,208
except I don't do the scene
1273
00:39:11,042 --> 00:39:14,208
that they asked me to prepare.
1274
00:39:14,292 --> 00:39:16,042
I picked one
1275
00:39:14,292 --> 00:39:16,042
from earlier in the movie,
1276
00:39:16,125 --> 00:39:18,208
before I had caught the bad guy,
1277
00:39:16,125 --> 00:39:18,208
but at this point,
1278
00:39:18,292 --> 00:39:20,375
just the sight
1279
00:39:18,292 --> 00:39:20,375
of them all sitting there
1280
00:39:20,458 --> 00:39:23,042
was so disorienting that I--
1281
00:39:20,458 --> 00:39:23,042
I forgot the lines... (LAUGHS)
1282
00:39:23,125 --> 00:39:26,083
...but just decided
1283
00:39:23,125 --> 00:39:26,083
to go ahead with it anyway.
1284
00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:37,167
The reason the world's
1285
00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:37,167
in danger, Susie,
1286
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:39,125
is because Valdor
1287
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:39,125
is still out there.
1288
00:39:41,042 --> 00:39:44,792
And Valdor doesn't believe
1289
00:39:41,042 --> 00:39:44,792
in queer superheroes.
1290
00:39:46,167 --> 00:39:47,375
He doesn't think we exist.
1291
00:39:51,208 --> 00:39:52,333
Isn't that right, Valdor?
1292
00:39:53,417 --> 00:39:56,833
Just think we're, what,
1293
00:39:53,417 --> 00:39:56,833
sight gags or punchlines?
1294
00:39:56,917 --> 00:39:59,875
Just people you could
1295
00:39:56,917 --> 00:39:59,875
have prance around
1296
00:39:59,958 --> 00:40:01,167
for your entertainment?
1297
00:40:02,625 --> 00:40:06,000
And we could agree to disagree
1298
00:40:02,625 --> 00:40:06,000
that you think it's okay
1299
00:40:06,083 --> 00:40:10,625
for doctors and nurses
1300
00:40:06,083 --> 00:40:10,625
to legally deny
1301
00:40:10,708 --> 00:40:14,292
life-saving healthcare
1302
00:40:10,708 --> 00:40:14,292
to gay people,
1303
00:40:15,125 --> 00:40:17,042
even in an emergency room,
1304
00:40:18,667 --> 00:40:22,083
even during a global pandemic,
1305
00:40:22,167 --> 00:40:25,375
because of what you call
1306
00:40:22,167 --> 00:40:25,375
"personal beliefs."
1307
00:40:32,750 --> 00:40:34,083
But I'm here with my friends.
1308
00:40:35,083 --> 00:40:36,125
Victory League.
1309
00:40:38,250 --> 00:40:39,292
And you have...
1310
00:40:40,750 --> 00:40:43,250
no idea what you're up against.
1311
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:59,500
And I say thank you,
1312
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:59,500
and I leave...
1313
00:41:00,667 --> 00:41:01,875
and then I think...
1314
00:41:04,292 --> 00:41:07,708
"What the hell did I just do?
1315
00:41:04,292 --> 00:41:07,708
What did I do?"
1316
00:41:12,250 --> 00:41:13,625
But whatever it was...
1317
00:41:14,958 --> 00:41:16,833
that was Fusion.
1318
00:41:16,917 --> 00:41:18,917
That was someone
1319
00:41:16,917 --> 00:41:18,917
that I could be proud of.
1320
00:41:21,958 --> 00:41:24,792
And it turns out
1321
00:41:21,958 --> 00:41:24,792
that they admired my bravery,
1322
00:41:24,875 --> 00:41:26,667
and I'm still in the mix.
1323
00:41:26,750 --> 00:41:30,083
(LAUGHS, SIGHS)
1324
00:41:30,958 --> 00:41:33,042
(CROWD CHEERING)
1325
00:41:33,125 --> 00:41:35,500
IVANKA TRUMP: My father
1326
00:41:33,125 --> 00:41:35,500
not only has the strength
1327
00:41:35,583 --> 00:41:38,417
and ability necessary
1328
00:41:35,583 --> 00:41:38,417
to be our next president,
1329
00:41:38,500 --> 00:41:41,292
but also the kindness
1330
00:41:38,500 --> 00:41:41,292
and compassion...
1331
00:41:42,583 --> 00:41:45,083
(CHEERING FADES)
1332
00:41:45,167 --> 00:41:47,542
Nina, were you marching?
1333
00:41:47,625 --> 00:41:49,333
Yeah, I was in Union Square,
1334
00:41:47,625 --> 00:41:49,333
but I came home
1335
00:41:49,417 --> 00:41:51,917
so I could expedite bail money
1336
00:41:49,417 --> 00:41:51,917
across the country and--
1337
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,917
and-- and start a legal team,
1338
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,917
but that's not why I'm calling.
1339
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,417
I have to talk to you. Uh...
1340
00:41:58,500 --> 00:42:01,167
I'm shaking. I'm terrified.
1341
00:42:01,250 --> 00:42:03,250
Nope, it's not COVID.
1342
00:42:01,250 --> 00:42:03,250
It's something else,
1343
00:42:03,333 --> 00:42:05,917
and you're the only person
1344
00:42:03,333 --> 00:42:05,917
who's gonna get this because...
1345
00:42:07,167 --> 00:42:09,000
okay, bear with me...
1346
00:42:09,917 --> 00:42:11,375
because I knew her.
1347
00:42:11,458 --> 00:42:14,000
Not well,
1348
00:42:11,458 --> 00:42:14,000
but she was a year ahead of us
1349
00:42:14,083 --> 00:42:16,167
in boarding school.
1350
00:42:14,083 --> 00:42:16,167
Do you remember?
1351
00:42:16,250 --> 00:42:17,542
But we would nod at each other,
1352
00:42:17,625 --> 00:42:21,208
and she always made a point
1353
00:42:17,625 --> 00:42:21,208
of remembering my name
1354
00:42:21,292 --> 00:42:24,208
and smiling and saying,
1355
00:42:21,292 --> 00:42:24,208
"Hi, Callie."
1356
00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:26,458
And I'd say, "Hi, Ivanka."
1357
00:42:26,542 --> 00:42:28,167
And she had this voice,
1358
00:42:26,542 --> 00:42:28,167
you know?
1359
00:42:28,250 --> 00:42:29,875
Sort of light and feathery
1360
00:42:29,958 --> 00:42:31,625
like a lot of the girls
1361
00:42:29,958 --> 00:42:31,625
at the time,
1362
00:42:31,708 --> 00:42:34,292
which was fine,
1363
00:42:31,708 --> 00:42:34,292
but I remember thinking,
1364
00:42:34,375 --> 00:42:36,042
"Is that your real voice?
1365
00:42:36,125 --> 00:42:38,792
Is that anyone's real voice?"
1366
00:42:38,875 --> 00:42:41,542
I know, I'm terrible.
1367
00:42:38,875 --> 00:42:41,542
(LAUGHS) But, you know,
1368
00:42:41,625 --> 00:42:44,042
she really was very nice
1369
00:42:41,625 --> 00:42:44,042
and very sweet.
1370
00:42:44,125 --> 00:42:46,375
She would get there
1371
00:42:44,125 --> 00:42:46,375
in September in a limo,
1372
00:42:46,458 --> 00:42:48,292
in the backseat all by herself,
1373
00:42:48,375 --> 00:42:51,458
and at first, I thought
1374
00:42:48,375 --> 00:42:51,458
she was a floral arrangement.
1375
00:42:51,542 --> 00:42:54,250
And she had friends,
1376
00:42:51,542 --> 00:42:54,250
but she was more...
1377
00:42:54,333 --> 00:42:56,375
sort of this floating presence.
1378
00:42:56,458 --> 00:42:58,583
You know,
1379
00:42:56,458 --> 00:42:58,583
like a visiting princess.
1380
00:42:58,667 --> 00:43:01,083
I remember discussing her
1381
00:42:58,667 --> 00:43:01,083
with you and Melisande,
1382
00:43:01,167 --> 00:43:02,542
and we all agreed
1383
00:43:02,625 --> 00:43:05,208
not to blame her
1384
00:43:02,625 --> 00:43:05,208
for anything her family did.
1385
00:43:05,292 --> 00:43:06,625
'Cause it was like you said,
1386
00:43:06,708 --> 00:43:08,792
"We have to treat her
1387
00:43:06,708 --> 00:43:08,792
as if she was Susan Noriega
1388
00:43:08,875 --> 00:43:10,833
or Courtney Stalin.
1389
00:43:08,875 --> 00:43:10,833
It's not her fault."
1390
00:43:10,917 --> 00:43:13,292
(LAUGHS) You-- you said that.
1391
00:43:13,375 --> 00:43:14,500
And I would watch her,
1392
00:43:14,583 --> 00:43:17,417
and this one time,
1393
00:43:14,583 --> 00:43:17,417
we were both in the library,
1394
00:43:17,500 --> 00:43:20,792
and she was watching
1395
00:43:17,500 --> 00:43:20,792
something about 9/11,
1396
00:43:20,875 --> 00:43:22,417
and she turned to me
1397
00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:25,917
and she said,
1398
00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:25,917
"It's all so awful."
1399
00:43:27,250 --> 00:43:29,125
And I knew she meant it,
1400
00:43:29,208 --> 00:43:33,875
but it was so strange
1401
00:43:29,208 --> 00:43:33,875
because she smiled,
1402
00:43:33,958 --> 00:43:36,917
and it was like she had
1403
00:43:33,958 --> 00:43:36,917
this natural instinct
1404
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,542
to make things better
1405
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,542
or nicer or prettier,
1406
00:43:39,625 --> 00:43:41,750
and I know that
1407
00:43:39,625 --> 00:43:41,750
that's a rich white girl thing
1408
00:43:41,833 --> 00:43:44,750
and it's how she was raised,
1409
00:43:41,833 --> 00:43:44,750
which was probably scary,
1410
00:43:44,833 --> 00:43:47,625
but then I figured out
1411
00:43:44,833 --> 00:43:47,625
what was really going on.
1412
00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:48,958
Because it was something
1413
00:43:49,042 --> 00:43:52,542
the rest of us
1414
00:43:49,042 --> 00:43:52,542
didn't have to deal with.
1415
00:43:52,625 --> 00:43:55,792
She was practicing being
1416
00:43:52,625 --> 00:43:55,792
photographed for the tabloids.
1417
00:43:55,875 --> 00:43:58,917
(CHUCKLES) And-- and this was
1418
00:43:55,875 --> 00:43:58,917
pre-Instagram, right?
1419
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:02,542
But it was, like, she knew.
1420
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:02,542
She, uh, she saw it coming.
1421
00:44:02,625 --> 00:44:06,125
She was like the Steve Jobs
1422
00:44:02,625 --> 00:44:06,125
of smiling. (CHUCKLES)
1423
00:44:06,208 --> 00:44:09,542
That was not mean! I mean,
1424
00:44:06,208 --> 00:44:09,542
because she really was...
1425
00:44:09,625 --> 00:44:11,958
she was so sweet, and...
1426
00:44:12,042 --> 00:44:13,875
you know,
1427
00:44:12,042 --> 00:44:13,875
she tried all sorts of things,
1428
00:44:13,958 --> 00:44:16,958
modeling and business school
1429
00:44:13,958 --> 00:44:16,958
and sweatshops
1430
00:44:17,042 --> 00:44:19,458
and, of course,
1431
00:44:17,042 --> 00:44:19,458
working for her dad.
1432
00:44:20,792 --> 00:44:22,500
But come on.
1433
00:44:20,792 --> 00:44:22,500
It was an opportunity.
1434
00:44:22,583 --> 00:44:26,167
I mean, I work for my dad.
1435
00:44:22,583 --> 00:44:26,167
I run the foundation, which...
1436
00:44:26,250 --> 00:44:28,750
yes, it's different from
1437
00:44:26,250 --> 00:44:28,750
making guest appearances
1438
00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:30,667
on The Apprentice.
1439
00:44:30,750 --> 00:44:32,125
Did you ever watch that show?
1440
00:44:33,375 --> 00:44:36,083
Because her dad
1441
00:44:33,375 --> 00:44:36,083
would fire people,
1442
00:44:36,167 --> 00:44:38,542
and then she would try
1443
00:44:36,167 --> 00:44:38,542
to make things better.
1444
00:44:38,625 --> 00:44:41,083
The smile.
1445
00:44:38,625 --> 00:44:41,083
It was like she was saying,
1446
00:44:41,167 --> 00:44:44,000
"I'm here, but I'm not.
1447
00:44:44,083 --> 00:44:46,292
I'm part of this,
1448
00:44:44,083 --> 00:44:46,292
but I'm somewhere else.
1449
00:44:46,375 --> 00:44:48,083
I'm smiling." (CHUCKLES)
1450
00:44:49,375 --> 00:44:52,208
And then it happened.
1451
00:44:49,375 --> 00:44:52,208
The White House,
1452
00:44:52,292 --> 00:44:54,750
the move to Georgetown,
1453
00:44:52,292 --> 00:44:54,750
the shitstorm, and...
1454
00:44:55,958 --> 00:44:58,500
Okay. Okay, okay.
1455
00:44:55,958 --> 00:44:58,500
Get ready, 'cause you got--
1456
00:44:58,583 --> 00:45:00,458
You're sitting down?
1457
00:44:58,583 --> 00:45:00,458
You got a glass of wine?
1458
00:45:00,542 --> 00:45:03,667
A whole bottle, a whole case,
1459
00:45:00,542 --> 00:45:03,667
because this is where I come in.
1460
00:45:03,750 --> 00:45:06,917
Because a few months ago,
1461
00:45:03,750 --> 00:45:06,917
before quarantine,
1462
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:10,542
before everything,
1463
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:10,542
I get a call from my dad
1464
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:14,708
because Trump has invited my dad
1465
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:14,708
to the White House...
1466
00:45:15,875 --> 00:45:18,625
because I guess Trump
1467
00:45:15,875 --> 00:45:18,625
knows my dad
1468
00:45:18,708 --> 00:45:20,458
because he started
1469
00:45:18,708 --> 00:45:20,458
the most successful
1470
00:45:20,542 --> 00:45:22,875
Black-owned brokerage firm
1471
00:45:20,542 --> 00:45:22,875
in history.
1472
00:45:23,500 --> 00:45:25,625
And so I say, "Dad...
1473
00:45:25,708 --> 00:45:28,292
but you're not going, are you?"
1474
00:45:28,375 --> 00:45:29,542
And he says, "Yes."
1475
00:45:29,625 --> 00:45:33,167
He says, "I'm curious,
1476
00:45:29,625 --> 00:45:33,167
and you're coming with me."
1477
00:45:33,250 --> 00:45:36,417
And I say, "No, I'm not.
1478
00:45:33,250 --> 00:45:36,417
Uh, there's no way in hell."
1479
00:45:36,500 --> 00:45:38,458
And he says, "Callie.
1480
00:45:39,042 --> 00:45:40,583
Listen to me.
1481
00:45:40,667 --> 00:45:43,375
He's the president.
1482
00:45:40,667 --> 00:45:43,375
We have access.
1483
00:45:43,458 --> 00:45:46,208
No one will know.
1484
00:45:43,458 --> 00:45:46,208
And you could learn something."
1485
00:45:48,208 --> 00:45:50,833
So we fly to Washington.
1486
00:45:50,917 --> 00:45:54,333
Yes, private. And...
1487
00:45:54,417 --> 00:45:58,333
the car pulls up to the gates,
1488
00:45:54,417 --> 00:45:58,333
and I-- I wonder,
1489
00:45:58,417 --> 00:46:00,417
"Are they gonna stop us?"
1490
00:45:58,417 --> 00:46:00,417
I mean, Black people
1491
00:46:00,500 --> 00:46:03,625
at the Trump White House
1492
00:46:00,500 --> 00:46:03,625
who aren't Kanye?
1493
00:46:03,708 --> 00:46:05,917
And for a second, I had this--
1494
00:46:03,708 --> 00:46:05,917
this image of us
1495
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,167
being dragged out of the car
1496
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,167
and arrested,
1497
00:46:09,250 --> 00:46:10,458
which would already be bad,
1498
00:46:10,542 --> 00:46:13,208
but then people would also know
1499
00:46:10,542 --> 00:46:13,208
we were there.
1500
00:46:13,292 --> 00:46:17,042
But the Secret Service guy
1501
00:46:13,292 --> 00:46:17,042
just nods and we drive through.
1502
00:46:18,292 --> 00:46:23,167
And... when I walk
1503
00:46:18,292 --> 00:46:23,167
into the actual building,
1504
00:46:23,250 --> 00:46:24,875
I get a shiver
1505
00:46:24,958 --> 00:46:26,500
because I can't do this,
1506
00:46:24,958 --> 00:46:26,500
you know?
1507
00:46:26,583 --> 00:46:29,208
This is our house. It's supposed
1508
00:46:26,583 --> 00:46:29,208
to be everybody's house.
1509
00:46:29,292 --> 00:46:33,333
It was built by slaves. And yes,
1510
00:46:29,292 --> 00:46:33,333
Nina, I know, Barack, but...
1511
00:46:33,417 --> 00:46:36,500
I was there,
1512
00:46:33,417 --> 00:46:36,500
and I am freaking out.
1513
00:46:36,583 --> 00:46:38,750
And my dad whispers,
1514
00:46:38,833 --> 00:46:42,000
he says, "It's okay.
1515
00:46:38,833 --> 00:46:42,000
You're gonna be okay.
1516
00:46:42,083 --> 00:46:43,458
Enemy territory."
1517
00:46:44,625 --> 00:46:47,375
And an aide comes and guides us
1518
00:46:44,625 --> 00:46:47,375
to the Red Room,
1519
00:46:47,458 --> 00:46:48,708
where the dinner's being held,
1520
00:46:48,792 --> 00:46:52,292
and when we get to the room,
1521
00:46:48,792 --> 00:46:52,292
I feel something else.
1522
00:46:52,875 --> 00:46:54,333
An echo.
1523
00:46:54,417 --> 00:46:57,292
Because there aren't many tables
1524
00:46:54,417 --> 00:46:57,292
or other guests
1525
00:46:57,375 --> 00:46:59,792
and the lighting is bad,
1526
00:46:59,875 --> 00:47:02,792
so the whole place
1527
00:46:59,875 --> 00:47:02,792
feels a little abandoned,
1528
00:47:02,875 --> 00:47:04,667
like a bankrupt casino,
1529
00:47:04,750 --> 00:47:08,042
like the eyes on the portraits
1530
00:47:04,750 --> 00:47:08,042
are gonna move.
1531
00:47:08,125 --> 00:47:09,125
And of course,
1532
00:47:09,208 --> 00:47:13,292
we're the only people
1533
00:47:09,208 --> 00:47:13,292
of any color whatsoever.
1534
00:47:13,375 --> 00:47:18,083
And the only way I can be there
1535
00:47:13,375 --> 00:47:18,083
is to feel like a spy, you know?
1536
00:47:18,167 --> 00:47:21,958
Like I'm working undercover
1537
00:47:18,167 --> 00:47:21,958
like a resistance fighter
1538
00:47:22,042 --> 00:47:24,417
dressed as a Nazi
1539
00:47:22,042 --> 00:47:24,417
in a Tarantino movie,
1540
00:47:24,500 --> 00:47:27,000
which is exactly what it's like
1541
00:47:27,083 --> 00:47:32,583
because then there she is,
1542
00:47:27,083 --> 00:47:32,583
Melania.
1543
00:47:32,667 --> 00:47:36,083
And... (LAUGHS) Yes.
1544
00:47:32,667 --> 00:47:36,083
Oh my God. Nothing moves.
1545
00:47:36,167 --> 00:47:37,667
Even her hair has Botox.
1546
00:47:37,750 --> 00:47:41,583
It's like she's Dracula
1547
00:47:37,750 --> 00:47:41,583
with a blowout and a spray tan,
1548
00:47:41,667 --> 00:47:44,042
and she's a birther,
1549
00:47:41,667 --> 00:47:44,042
so fuck her.
1550
00:47:45,417 --> 00:47:48,750
Then he comes in. Trump.
1551
00:47:49,917 --> 00:47:52,208
And I have to tell myself,
1552
00:47:52,292 --> 00:47:54,250
"Remember what my dad said.
1553
00:47:54,333 --> 00:47:56,375
You can learn something."
1554
00:47:56,458 --> 00:47:59,042
So I pretend I don't know
1555
00:47:56,458 --> 00:47:59,042
anything about him.
1556
00:48:01,250 --> 00:48:02,792
What do I think?
1557
00:48:02,875 --> 00:48:06,625
Nice guy, friendly, works hard?
1558
00:48:06,708 --> 00:48:10,083
No. So creepy, so disgusting.
1559
00:48:10,167 --> 00:48:12,125
I want to run.
1560
00:48:10,167 --> 00:48:12,125
I want to take a shower.
1561
00:48:12,208 --> 00:48:15,375
I mean, someone needs
1562
00:48:12,208 --> 00:48:15,375
to follow him with a Dustbuster.
1563
00:48:15,458 --> 00:48:20,125
And he finally glances up
1564
00:48:15,458 --> 00:48:20,125
from his phone and he sees me,
1565
00:48:20,958 --> 00:48:24,417
and I think I get the look,
1566
00:48:24,500 --> 00:48:27,417
the rich white guy look,
1567
00:48:24,500 --> 00:48:27,417
which-- which is all about,
1568
00:48:27,500 --> 00:48:30,250
"Am I pretty enough?
1569
00:48:27,500 --> 00:48:30,250
Am I showing enough skin?
1570
00:48:30,333 --> 00:48:33,417
Am I good enough
1571
00:48:30,333 --> 00:48:33,417
to fuck maybe once?"
1572
00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:37,250
But before he can decide,
1573
00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:37,250
he sees that I'm with my dad,
1574
00:48:37,333 --> 00:48:39,792
and he comes right over.
1575
00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:43,625
And he's grabbing my dad's hand
1576
00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:43,625
and he's calling him "Jack-o,"
1577
00:48:43,708 --> 00:48:45,750
and then it hits me.
1578
00:48:47,417 --> 00:48:49,792
Because my dad is rich...
1579
00:48:49,875 --> 00:48:52,792
seriously rich,
1580
00:48:49,875 --> 00:48:52,792
richer than Trump will ever be,
1581
00:48:53,958 --> 00:48:55,833
that's the real turn-on.
1582
00:48:57,042 --> 00:49:00,250
And even if I was
1583
00:48:57,042 --> 00:49:00,250
a naked porn star...
1584
00:49:01,583 --> 00:49:03,000
he'd rather fuck my dad.
1585
00:49:04,500 --> 00:49:07,792
Hold on, wait.
1586
00:49:04,500 --> 00:49:07,792
Okay, get ready. Because...
1587
00:49:08,833 --> 00:49:11,792
just as my dad
1588
00:49:08,833 --> 00:49:11,792
is introducing me, I hear,
1589
00:49:12,667 --> 00:49:13,667
"Callie!"
1590
00:49:14,875 --> 00:49:16,167
And it's her.
1591
00:49:16,250 --> 00:49:18,500
And the whole scene
1592
00:49:16,250 --> 00:49:18,500
is so bizarre
1593
00:49:18,583 --> 00:49:21,792
because the place
1594
00:49:18,583 --> 00:49:21,792
feels empty, but...
1595
00:49:21,875 --> 00:49:23,875
the guests are all looking up,
1596
00:49:23,958 --> 00:49:27,083
and it's like this happy,
1597
00:49:23,958 --> 00:49:27,083
blonde four-year-old has--
1598
00:49:27,167 --> 00:49:30,417
has scampered
1599
00:49:27,167 --> 00:49:30,417
into the haunted mansion,
1600
00:49:30,500 --> 00:49:32,375
and she's wearing all white,
1601
00:49:32,458 --> 00:49:34,875
and she glides right over to me
1602
00:49:34,958 --> 00:49:37,250
and she gives me
1603
00:49:34,958 --> 00:49:37,250
the perfect air hug,
1604
00:49:37,333 --> 00:49:39,542
and the perfume is a lot.
1605
00:49:39,625 --> 00:49:41,083
And she says, "Daddy,
1606
00:49:41,167 --> 00:49:43,625
can I steal Callie away
1607
00:49:41,167 --> 00:49:43,625
for a few minutes?"
1608
00:49:44,250 --> 00:49:45,875
And he gives her a nod,
1609
00:49:45,958 --> 00:49:48,250
or he gives her tight
1610
00:49:45,958 --> 00:49:48,250
white dress a nod,
1611
00:49:48,333 --> 00:49:49,958
and he says, "Sure, honey."
1612
00:49:50,583 --> 00:49:51,917
And she says, "Come on!
1613
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,667
It's so great to see you.
1614
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,667
This is such fun."
1615
00:49:54,750 --> 00:49:56,292
Like we're on a play date.
1616
00:49:56,375 --> 00:49:57,917
Or no, like she's Nancy Drew
1617
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,625
and we're exploring
1618
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,625
the Old Mill,
1619
00:50:00,708 --> 00:50:03,417
which we are,
1620
00:50:00,708 --> 00:50:03,417
because she leads me upstairs
1621
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,667
and she says,
1622
00:50:06,750 --> 00:50:10,583
"When I first saw this room,
1623
00:50:06,750 --> 00:50:10,583
I knew how much you'd love it.
1624
00:50:11,583 --> 00:50:12,875
It's the Lincoln Bedroom."
1625
00:50:15,292 --> 00:50:17,958
Whoa. (LAUGHS) Whoa. And it's--
1626
00:50:18,042 --> 00:50:20,625
(LAUGHS)
1627
00:50:18,042 --> 00:50:20,625
No. It keeps getting worse,
1628
00:50:20,708 --> 00:50:23,042
or better, depending
1629
00:50:20,708 --> 00:50:23,042
on your sense of humor.
1630
00:50:23,125 --> 00:50:28,042
So, she pats an armchair,
1631
00:50:23,125 --> 00:50:28,042
and then she sits on the bed
1632
00:50:28,125 --> 00:50:30,333
and I think, "Something
1633
00:50:28,125 --> 00:50:30,333
is definitely up.
1634
00:50:30,417 --> 00:50:32,958
She wants something."
1635
00:50:30,417 --> 00:50:32,958
And so I sit down
1636
00:50:33,042 --> 00:50:35,750
and she cuts right to the chase
1637
00:50:33,042 --> 00:50:35,750
and she says,
1638
00:50:37,250 --> 00:50:39,125
"Callie, I need you...
1639
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,542
because I know that people
1640
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,542
hate me,
1641
00:50:42,625 --> 00:50:44,708
and-- now, be honest--
1642
00:50:44,792 --> 00:50:46,750
but why do you think that is?
1643
00:50:46,833 --> 00:50:50,083
I mean, jealously,
1644
00:50:46,833 --> 00:50:50,083
of course, but why else?"
1645
00:50:51,083 --> 00:50:53,375
And she's looking
1646
00:50:51,083 --> 00:50:53,375
right at me and...
1647
00:50:54,542 --> 00:50:56,750
she's this glowing blonde cloud,
1648
00:50:56,833 --> 00:50:59,125
and I decide I can't do it.
1649
00:50:59,208 --> 00:51:03,708
I can't-- I can't just be polite
1650
00:50:59,208 --> 00:51:03,708
because then I'm part of it,
1651
00:51:03,792 --> 00:51:09,417
so I say, "People hate you
1652
00:51:03,792 --> 00:51:09,417
because you're not qualified,
1653
00:51:09,500 --> 00:51:12,417
but your dad hires you
1654
00:51:09,500 --> 00:51:12,417
to work in the White House."
1655
00:51:12,500 --> 00:51:14,208
And she's nodding like...
1656
00:51:14,292 --> 00:51:16,417
"Of course, of course.
1657
00:51:14,292 --> 00:51:16,417
And what else?"
1658
00:51:17,500 --> 00:51:21,500
And so I say,
1659
00:51:17,500 --> 00:51:21,500
"The racism, Charlottesville,
1660
00:51:21,583 --> 00:51:22,917
putting kids in cages,
1661
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:26,250
the way your dad treats women
1662
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:26,250
and you defend him,
1663
00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:29,833
the insults, the sneering,
1664
00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:29,833
the lies.
1665
00:51:29,917 --> 00:51:32,208
All my gay friends hate you
1666
00:51:29,917 --> 00:51:32,208
because of Pence
1667
00:51:32,292 --> 00:51:36,333
and the trans ban and trying
1668
00:51:32,292 --> 00:51:36,333
to repeal gay marriage,
1669
00:51:36,417 --> 00:51:39,333
and you post pictures
1670
00:51:36,417 --> 00:51:39,333
of yourself hugging
1671
00:51:39,417 --> 00:51:43,292
the evangelicals who said that
1672
00:51:39,417 --> 00:51:43,292
gay people are going to hell."
1673
00:51:46,042 --> 00:51:47,292
And she says, "Oh...
1674
00:51:48,708 --> 00:51:50,458
But gay people know
1675
00:51:48,708 --> 00:51:50,458
that I love them.
1676
00:51:50,542 --> 00:51:51,792
I'm from New York.
1677
00:51:51,875 --> 00:51:55,625
So I signal them quietly, like,
1678
00:51:51,875 --> 00:51:55,625
I tweeted 'congratulations'
1679
00:51:55,708 --> 00:51:58,458
to that new Black lesbian mayor
1680
00:51:55,708 --> 00:51:58,458
of Chicago.
1681
00:51:58,542 --> 00:52:04,083
And I'm creating so many jobs.
1682
00:51:58,542 --> 00:52:04,083
My dad says it's 15 million.
1683
00:52:04,167 --> 00:52:07,208
And unemployment,
1684
00:52:04,167 --> 00:52:07,208
especially for minorities,
1685
00:52:07,292 --> 00:52:09,833
has been at its
1686
00:52:07,292 --> 00:52:09,833
lowest levels ever.
1687
00:52:10,333 --> 00:52:11,500
It's done."
1688
00:52:12,458 --> 00:52:15,167
It's done. She thinks it's done.
1689
00:52:16,417 --> 00:52:18,750
And so she keeps going,
1690
00:52:18,833 --> 00:52:22,083
and she gives me a huge...
1691
00:52:23,125 --> 00:52:25,875
"just between me and you"
1692
00:52:23,125 --> 00:52:25,875
secret smile,
1693
00:52:25,958 --> 00:52:27,458
and it's twinkling.
1694
00:52:27,542 --> 00:52:28,750
And she says...
1695
00:52:29,625 --> 00:52:31,208
"But I need to
1696
00:52:29,625 --> 00:52:31,208
turn things around
1697
00:52:31,292 --> 00:52:32,833
on a perception level.
1698
00:52:32,917 --> 00:52:35,583
I need people to see Ivanka."
1699
00:52:36,583 --> 00:52:39,250
Her brand. The third person.
1700
00:52:39,333 --> 00:52:40,875
Then she says...
1701
00:52:42,417 --> 00:52:46,000
"So, what if we became friends?
1702
00:52:42,417 --> 00:52:46,000
I mean, real pals.
1703
00:52:46,083 --> 00:52:50,083
What if I could come to New York
1704
00:52:46,083 --> 00:52:50,083
and you could take me places?
1705
00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:54,125
Because if I go to a show
1706
00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:54,125
or an event by myself,
1707
00:52:54,208 --> 00:52:58,500
or, God forbid, with Kellyanne,
1708
00:52:54,208 --> 00:52:58,500
everyone snubs me.
1709
00:52:58,583 --> 00:53:02,625
One person even spit because
1710
00:52:58,583 --> 00:53:02,625
they think I'm a traitor,
1711
00:53:02,708 --> 00:53:04,750
but if I was with someone
1712
00:53:02,708 --> 00:53:04,750
like you,
1713
00:53:04,833 --> 00:53:07,333
someone with total
1714
00:53:04,833 --> 00:53:07,333
social street cred...
1715
00:53:08,333 --> 00:53:11,167
we could go to a restaurant
1716
00:53:08,333 --> 00:53:11,167
or a gala
1717
00:53:11,250 --> 00:53:14,042
and you could be my angel,
1718
00:53:11,250 --> 00:53:14,042
my protector,
1719
00:53:14,125 --> 00:53:17,333
my backstage pass,
1720
00:53:14,125 --> 00:53:17,333
my human shield."
1721
00:53:18,333 --> 00:53:19,708
And I think, "Why?"
1722
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,167
Why does she think
1723
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,167
she can ask me this?
1724
00:53:23,250 --> 00:53:25,875
Because we went
1725
00:53:23,250 --> 00:53:25,875
to school together?
1726
00:53:25,958 --> 00:53:27,583
Because we're both rich?
1727
00:53:27,667 --> 00:53:29,625
I mean, who the hell
1728
00:53:27,667 --> 00:53:29,625
does she think I am?
1729
00:53:30,875 --> 00:53:32,375
And then I get it.
1730
00:53:33,958 --> 00:53:35,292
Yep, Nina, you guessed it.
1731
00:53:35,375 --> 00:53:37,958
Because her entire fucking life,
1732
00:53:38,042 --> 00:53:39,958
she's never heard the word "no."
1733
00:53:41,542 --> 00:53:43,125
And then it happens.
1734
00:53:43,208 --> 00:53:45,875
She unleashes it. The smile.
1735
00:53:45,958 --> 00:53:48,833
The one she's been working on
1736
00:53:45,958 --> 00:53:48,833
for decades.
1737
00:53:48,917 --> 00:53:50,750
The miles of lip gloss,
1738
00:53:50,833 --> 00:53:53,375
the hint of Vaseline
1739
00:53:50,833 --> 00:53:53,375
on her teeth,
1740
00:53:53,458 --> 00:53:56,000
the chin implant
1741
00:53:53,458 --> 00:53:56,000
slightly lowered,
1742
00:53:56,083 --> 00:53:58,083
the pageant-ready
1743
00:53:56,083 --> 00:53:58,083
smoky eyeshadow,
1744
00:53:58,167 --> 00:54:00,625
the full-on megawatt billboard
1745
00:54:00,708 --> 00:54:04,083
advertising nothing
1746
00:54:00,708 --> 00:54:04,083
but greedy perfection.
1747
00:54:04,167 --> 00:54:05,458
The product.
1748
00:54:05,542 --> 00:54:08,792
Only this time, it's not some
1749
00:54:05,542 --> 00:54:08,792
failing golf resort in Scotland
1750
00:54:08,875 --> 00:54:12,792
or a diamond tennis bracelet
1751
00:54:08,875 --> 00:54:12,792
on the Nordstrom website
1752
00:54:12,875 --> 00:54:16,333
or a ghostwritten guide
1753
00:54:12,875 --> 00:54:16,333
to empowering women.
1754
00:54:16,417 --> 00:54:18,500
It's all her.
1755
00:54:18,583 --> 00:54:23,417
Total Ivanka. Dream Ivanka.
1756
00:54:18,583 --> 00:54:23,417
President Ivanka.
1757
00:54:23,500 --> 00:54:27,542
And it's this blonde avalanche
1758
00:54:23,500 --> 00:54:27,542
just pounding towards me and...
1759
00:54:28,542 --> 00:54:31,167
I'm paralyzed. I'm reeling.
1760
00:54:31,250 --> 00:54:34,167
And I flash on Abe Lincoln
1761
00:54:31,250 --> 00:54:34,167
in the corner going,
1762
00:54:34,250 --> 00:54:37,875
"What the fuck is happening
1763
00:54:34,250 --> 00:54:37,875
in my bedroom?" And...
1764
00:54:39,042 --> 00:54:43,333
Ivanka says,
1765
00:54:39,042 --> 00:54:43,333
"I know it's overwhelming,
1766
00:54:43,417 --> 00:54:45,375
but this could be so great.
1767
00:54:45,458 --> 00:54:49,000
The two of us, a team,
1768
00:54:45,458 --> 00:54:49,000
a power couple."
1769
00:54:49,083 --> 00:54:52,125
And then she stands up
1770
00:54:49,083 --> 00:54:52,125
and she says, "I'll call you!"
1771
00:54:52,208 --> 00:54:53,583
And she's out the door.
1772
00:54:54,875 --> 00:54:58,625
And Melania's hanging
1773
00:54:54,875 --> 00:54:58,625
somewhere upside down
1774
00:54:58,708 --> 00:55:01,375
and her dad is touching
1775
00:54:58,708 --> 00:55:01,375
my dad's arm,
1776
00:55:01,458 --> 00:55:04,875
and he's saying, "Great talk."
1777
00:55:01,458 --> 00:55:04,875
And then we leave.
1778
00:55:04,958 --> 00:55:10,250
And so when we get in the air,
1779
00:55:04,958 --> 00:55:10,250
I ask my dad what Trump wanted.
1780
00:55:10,333 --> 00:55:14,000
And he says, "Money,
1781
00:55:10,333 --> 00:55:14,000
a photo op, golf.
1782
00:55:14,083 --> 00:55:17,125
You think he has everything
1783
00:55:14,083 --> 00:55:17,125
he ever wanted, but he doesn't.
1784
00:55:17,667 --> 00:55:19,500
He never will."
1785
00:55:19,583 --> 00:55:21,750
And I say,
1786
00:55:19,583 --> 00:55:21,750
"So what does he still want?"
1787
00:55:22,792 --> 00:55:27,417
And he says,
1788
00:55:22,792 --> 00:55:27,417
"The thing he claims to hate.
1789
00:55:27,500 --> 00:55:30,833
The thing he tells his
1790
00:55:27,500 --> 00:55:30,833
Klan rallies he doesn't need.
1791
00:55:30,917 --> 00:55:32,750
But all he really wants
1792
00:55:30,917 --> 00:55:32,750
is New York.
1793
00:55:32,833 --> 00:55:35,500
The New York Times,
1794
00:55:32,833 --> 00:55:35,500
to stop wearing the MAGA hat,
1795
00:55:35,583 --> 00:55:38,500
to be rich and powerful
1796
00:55:35,583 --> 00:55:38,500
without being a joke.
1797
00:55:38,583 --> 00:55:41,833
He wants something that he's
1798
00:55:38,583 --> 00:55:41,833
just smart enough to recognize
1799
00:55:41,917 --> 00:55:44,167
but too clueless to achieve.
1800
00:55:44,250 --> 00:55:45,750
He wants style and ease
1801
00:55:45,833 --> 00:55:48,250
and to stand up
1802
00:55:45,833 --> 00:55:48,250
without crumbs in his lap
1803
00:55:48,333 --> 00:55:50,417
like the Coastal Elites.
1804
00:55:50,500 --> 00:55:52,917
Why do you think
1805
00:55:50,500 --> 00:55:52,917
he's so obsessed with Obama?
1806
00:55:53,708 --> 00:55:54,833
He wants us."
1807
00:55:56,167 --> 00:56:00,667
And I can't believe
1808
00:55:56,167 --> 00:56:00,667
I'm about to say this, but...
1809
00:56:00,750 --> 00:56:05,250
for a second, I almost feel
1810
00:56:00,750 --> 00:56:05,250
sorry for Trump and Ivanka
1811
00:56:05,875 --> 00:56:07,542
for being so needy...
1812
00:56:09,125 --> 00:56:11,500
for being all alone
1813
00:56:09,125 --> 00:56:11,500
in the White House
1814
00:56:11,583 --> 00:56:12,583
with only each other
1815
00:56:12,667 --> 00:56:15,292
and the sort of people
1816
00:56:12,667 --> 00:56:15,292
who would be there.
1817
00:56:16,458 --> 00:56:18,000
(SIGHS) And then today...
1818
00:56:19,583 --> 00:56:24,042
I get a call, an hour ago,
1819
00:56:19,583 --> 00:56:24,042
and it's her.
1820
00:56:25,042 --> 00:56:26,375
And she says...
1821
00:56:28,167 --> 00:56:30,417
"Callie, it's happening!
1822
00:56:30,500 --> 00:56:32,125
We're opening the country
1823
00:56:30,500 --> 00:56:32,125
back up.
1824
00:56:32,208 --> 00:56:35,375
It's all about 2020,
1825
00:56:32,208 --> 00:56:35,375
so let's get started."
1826
00:56:35,917 --> 00:56:37,167
And I'm stunned.
1827
00:56:38,458 --> 00:56:40,125
And I say, "Ivanka,
1828
00:56:40,208 --> 00:56:43,583
George Floyd, Breonna Taylor,
1829
00:56:40,208 --> 00:56:43,583
Ahmaud Arbery.
1830
00:56:43,667 --> 00:56:46,458
Do you have any idea
1831
00:56:43,667 --> 00:56:46,458
what's going on?"
1832
00:56:47,458 --> 00:56:49,417
And she says,
1833
00:56:47,458 --> 00:56:49,417
"But didn't you see
1834
00:56:49,500 --> 00:56:51,500
what I tweeted
1835
00:56:49,500 --> 00:56:51,500
the day it all started,
1836
00:56:51,583 --> 00:56:53,625
when people needed
1837
00:56:51,583 --> 00:56:53,625
to hear from me?
1838
00:56:53,708 --> 00:56:58,875
It was from the Bible. It went,
1839
00:56:53,708 --> 00:56:58,875
'This is what the Lord said:
1840
00:56:58,958 --> 00:57:02,917
I have heard your prayers
1841
00:56:58,958 --> 00:57:02,917
and seen your tears.
1842
00:57:03,542 --> 00:57:04,708
I will heal you.'
1843
00:57:06,125 --> 00:57:07,417
Isn't that perfect?"
1844
00:57:09,333 --> 00:57:10,625
And do you know...
1845
00:57:12,250 --> 00:57:14,000
when Trump had
1846
00:57:12,250 --> 00:57:14,000
the National Guard
1847
00:57:14,083 --> 00:57:17,375
clear those peaceful protesters
1848
00:57:14,083 --> 00:57:17,375
with tear gas
1849
00:57:17,458 --> 00:57:18,833
just so he could walk
1850
00:57:17,458 --> 00:57:18,833
to that church
1851
00:57:18,917 --> 00:57:22,208
and hold up a Bible
1852
00:57:18,917 --> 00:57:22,208
like it was his fucking phone...
1853
00:57:23,250 --> 00:57:26,583
I read that walk,
1854
00:57:23,250 --> 00:57:26,583
that whole thing,
1855
00:57:27,375 --> 00:57:29,292
was Ivanka's idea.
1856
00:57:29,375 --> 00:57:31,750
She had the Bible in her purse,
1857
00:57:31,833 --> 00:57:35,542
in her fourteen-hundred-dollar
1858
00:57:31,833 --> 00:57:35,542
Max Mara bag.
1859
00:57:35,625 --> 00:57:38,000
And did you see that her dad
1860
00:57:35,625 --> 00:57:38,000
just said that he's done
1861
00:57:38,083 --> 00:57:41,500
more for Black people than
1862
00:57:38,083 --> 00:57:41,500
any president in U.S. history?
1863
00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:45,250
Like-- like he expects
1864
00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:45,250
a fucking thank you note?
1865
00:57:46,917 --> 00:57:50,083
And she keeps going. She says,
1866
00:57:46,917 --> 00:57:50,083
"So, Callie, whatever you want.
1867
00:57:50,167 --> 00:57:52,875
Women for Trump,
1868
00:57:50,167 --> 00:57:52,875
Black Voices for Trump,
1869
00:57:52,958 --> 00:57:55,125
Senior Advisor.
1870
00:57:52,958 --> 00:57:55,125
I'll send the plane."
1871
00:57:56,583 --> 00:57:58,000
And I am beyond...
1872
00:57:59,500 --> 00:58:01,250
Because she really thinks
1873
00:57:59,500 --> 00:58:01,250
this can happen.
1874
00:58:01,333 --> 00:58:05,708
She really thinks that she can
1875
00:58:01,333 --> 00:58:05,708
stand off to the side, and...
1876
00:58:06,542 --> 00:58:08,542
sit in her little bubble
1877
00:58:08,625 --> 00:58:11,125
where nothing can touch her
1878
00:58:08,625 --> 00:58:11,125
and she really thinks that
1879
00:58:11,208 --> 00:58:14,125
she can social distance herself
1880
00:58:11,208 --> 00:58:14,125
from history.
1881
00:58:15,083 --> 00:58:16,667
And she thinks I'll help her.
1882
00:58:18,250 --> 00:58:22,125
And I'm-- I'm staring
1883
00:58:18,250 --> 00:58:22,125
at my phone and I want to yell,
1884
00:58:22,208 --> 00:58:25,292
"Fuck you! Just fuck you!"
1885
00:58:28,250 --> 00:58:29,917
But instead...
1886
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:32,708
all of my boarding school
1887
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:32,708
training kicks in,
1888
00:58:32,792 --> 00:58:36,167
just like hers, and I say...
1889
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:44,125
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I can't.
1890
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:44,125
Previous engagement.
1891
00:58:44,208 --> 00:58:45,750
I hope you understand."
1892
00:58:46,833 --> 00:58:50,000
And there's a pause,
1893
00:58:46,833 --> 00:58:50,000
and she says...
1894
00:58:51,917 --> 00:58:55,458
"Of course, Callie.
1895
00:58:51,917 --> 00:58:55,458
All the best. I love you."
1896
00:59:00,167 --> 00:59:02,125
And I've been sitting here
1897
00:59:00,167 --> 00:59:02,125
shaking...
1898
00:59:05,292 --> 00:59:07,167
because she scared
1899
00:59:05,292 --> 00:59:07,167
the shit out of me.
1900
00:59:11,708 --> 00:59:14,708
Because even here, Nina,
1901
00:59:11,708 --> 00:59:14,708
all the way in New York,
1902
00:59:14,792 --> 00:59:15,958
I can hear it.
1903
00:59:19,750 --> 00:59:21,250
I can hear her smiling.
1904
00:59:23,583 --> 00:59:25,125
(CROWD CHEERING)
1905
00:59:25,208 --> 00:59:29,000
PENCE: Four more years
1906
00:59:25,208 --> 00:59:29,000
of President Donald Trump...
1907
00:59:29,083 --> 00:59:30,417
CROWD: (CHANTING)
1908
00:59:29,083 --> 00:59:30,417
Four more years!
1909
00:59:30,500 --> 00:59:33,250
Four more years!
1910
00:59:30,500 --> 00:59:33,250
Four more years!
1911
00:59:34,375 --> 00:59:36,250
CLARISSA MONTGOMERY:
1912
00:59:34,375 --> 00:59:36,250
I know you're scared.
1913
00:59:36,333 --> 00:59:37,917
We all are.
1914
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:41,750
We're sitting at home.
1915
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:41,750
There's a virus out there.
1916
00:59:41,833 --> 00:59:43,917
The world is upside down.
1917
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:45,458
♪ (TRANQUIL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
1918
00:59:45,542 --> 00:59:47,458
So, welcome.
1919
00:59:47,542 --> 00:59:51,292
I'm Clarissa Montgomery,
1920
00:59:47,542 --> 00:59:51,292
and we're streaming live.
1921
00:59:51,375 --> 00:59:55,000
Episode 28
1922
00:59:51,375 --> 00:59:55,000
of my Mindful Meditations.
1923
00:59:55,083 --> 00:59:58,000
I hope my words will soothe
1924
00:59:55,083 --> 00:59:58,000
and enlighten you,
1925
00:59:58,083 --> 01:00:00,208
or at least allow you
1926
00:59:58,083 --> 01:00:00,208
to watch CNN
1927
01:00:00,292 --> 01:00:01,667
without screaming
1928
01:00:00,292 --> 01:00:01,667
at your partner,
1929
01:00:01,750 --> 01:00:03,208
"Have you seen this?"
1930
01:00:04,167 --> 01:00:05,667
(BIRDS TWITTERING)
1931
01:00:06,083 --> 01:00:07,208
Let's begin.
1932
01:00:08,500 --> 01:00:11,875
I'd like you to close your eyes
1933
01:00:08,500 --> 01:00:11,875
and envision
1934
01:00:11,958 --> 01:00:15,625
a beautiful hillside
1935
01:00:11,958 --> 01:00:15,625
lush with wildflowers
1936
01:00:15,708 --> 01:00:19,125
and overlooking a peaceful,
1937
01:00:15,708 --> 01:00:19,125
undisturbed valley.
1938
01:00:20,333 --> 01:00:23,167
You're like Julie Andrews
1939
01:00:20,333 --> 01:00:23,167
singing "The Sound of Music"
1940
01:00:23,250 --> 01:00:26,958
with her arms open wide
1941
01:00:23,250 --> 01:00:26,958
and never dreaming
1942
01:00:27,042 --> 01:00:29,333
she'd soon be trafficked
1943
01:00:27,042 --> 01:00:29,333
by the Catholic Church
1944
01:00:29,417 --> 01:00:32,042
into becoming an unpaid nanny
1945
01:00:29,417 --> 01:00:32,042
under a Nazi regime
1946
01:00:32,125 --> 01:00:34,208
and ultimately marrying
1947
01:00:32,125 --> 01:00:34,208
an employer twice her age
1948
01:00:34,292 --> 01:00:36,167
in a scenario that could
1949
01:00:34,292 --> 01:00:36,167
more rightly be termed
1950
01:00:36,250 --> 01:00:39,875
hashtag EdelweissMeToo,
1951
01:00:36,250 --> 01:00:39,875
hashtag NoneOfMyFavoriteThings,
1952
01:00:39,958 --> 01:00:43,500
and hashtag SoonYeVonTrapp.
1953
01:00:39,958 --> 01:00:43,500
(CLEARS THROAT)
1954
01:00:48,125 --> 01:00:49,792
Let's return to our hillside.
1955
01:00:51,083 --> 01:00:53,167
You're happy. You're at peace
1956
01:00:53,250 --> 01:00:55,875
because you're not allowing
1957
01:00:53,250 --> 01:00:55,875
political trauma
1958
01:00:55,958 --> 01:00:58,125
to poison your bliss.
1959
01:00:58,917 --> 01:01:01,625
Take a deep, healing breath
1960
01:01:01,708 --> 01:01:05,000
and imagine that you're not
1961
01:01:01,708 --> 01:01:05,000
even on Twitter or Facebook
1962
01:01:05,083 --> 01:01:06,250
or Xanax.
1963
01:01:09,083 --> 01:01:10,750
Are you starting to feel better?
1964
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:13,000
More centered?
1965
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:15,042
More sane?
1966
01:01:16,167 --> 01:01:18,292
♪ (TRANQUIL MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
1967
01:01:20,042 --> 01:01:22,167
(WATER TRICKLING)
1968
01:01:26,875 --> 01:01:28,042
We're floating.
1969
01:01:29,375 --> 01:01:30,708
We're breathing.
1970
01:01:30,792 --> 01:01:33,875
We're in a calm, neutral space.
1971
01:01:33,958 --> 01:01:37,208
No one is angry. No one is sick.
1972
01:01:42,792 --> 01:01:43,875
(EXHALES)
1973
01:01:46,167 --> 01:01:47,208
(WHISPERING) Um...
1974
01:01:49,292 --> 01:01:50,625
Okay, I, uh...
1975
01:01:53,542 --> 01:01:56,625
Uh, this isn't... Oh.
1976
01:01:56,708 --> 01:01:59,250
-♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
1977
01:01:56,708 --> 01:01:59,250
-This is so weird.
1978
01:02:03,542 --> 01:02:08,000
I'm sorry. I'm-- I'm--
1979
01:02:03,542 --> 01:02:08,000
I'm so, so sorry, but, uh...
1980
01:02:08,083 --> 01:02:10,458
I-- I don't know
1981
01:02:08,083 --> 01:02:10,458
if I can keep doing this.
1982
01:02:14,292 --> 01:02:18,375
No. Let me explain. Let me...
1983
01:02:18,458 --> 01:02:22,333
Let me try to explain.
1984
01:02:18,458 --> 01:02:22,333
I owe you that...
1985
01:02:22,417 --> 01:02:25,750
because this morning,
1986
01:02:22,417 --> 01:02:25,750
I saw something on the news,
1987
01:02:25,833 --> 01:02:28,167
except it's not just that.
1988
01:02:25,833 --> 01:02:28,167
It's-- it's everything
1989
01:02:28,250 --> 01:02:30,583
that's been happening
1990
01:02:28,250 --> 01:02:30,583
to all of us.
1991
01:02:30,667 --> 01:02:33,375
It's-- Okay. Hold on.
1992
01:02:34,792 --> 01:02:36,167
-♪ (TRANQUIL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
1993
01:02:34,792 --> 01:02:36,167
-(EXHALES)
1994
01:02:36,250 --> 01:02:37,833
Let me start from the beginning.
1995
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:42,083
(SIGHS)
1996
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:42,083
When the virus first appeared,
1997
01:02:42,167 --> 01:02:44,625
like all of you, I was frantic.
1998
01:02:44,708 --> 01:02:46,833
I-- I didn't know
1999
01:02:44,708 --> 01:02:46,833
what was going on,
2000
01:02:46,917 --> 01:02:50,125
so I decided to fly home
2001
01:02:46,917 --> 01:02:50,125
to Wisconsin
2002
01:02:50,208 --> 01:02:53,625
and isolate with my family.
2003
01:02:50,208 --> 01:02:53,625
I know. I know.
2004
01:02:54,417 --> 01:02:55,833
But I'm a hopeful person,
2005
01:02:55,917 --> 01:02:59,292
and I just wanted to see
2006
01:02:55,917 --> 01:02:59,292
if it was possible,
2007
01:02:59,375 --> 01:03:02,292
if just maybe we could use
2008
01:02:59,375 --> 01:03:02,292
this terrible illness
2009
01:03:02,375 --> 01:03:03,833
as-- as some sort of...
2010
01:03:04,917 --> 01:03:07,875
gift, uh... a timeout
2011
01:03:07,958 --> 01:03:11,167
to heal and bond.
2012
01:03:07,958 --> 01:03:11,167
I know. I know.
2013
01:03:12,625 --> 01:03:17,000
But I love my family,
2014
01:03:12,625 --> 01:03:17,000
and I just thought, "What if?"
2015
01:03:19,333 --> 01:03:22,042
My folks still live
2016
01:03:19,333 --> 01:03:22,042
in Lake Auburn,
2017
01:03:22,125 --> 01:03:23,417
this tiny little town,
2018
01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:25,750
it's like 8,000 people
2019
01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:25,750
and change,
2020
01:03:25,833 --> 01:03:27,875
in the farmhouse
2021
01:03:25,833 --> 01:03:27,875
where I grew up
2022
01:03:27,958 --> 01:03:31,583
and where the Montgomerys
2023
01:03:27,958 --> 01:03:31,583
have lived for five generations.
2024
01:03:31,667 --> 01:03:34,917
I always love it... (LAUGHS)
2025
01:03:31,667 --> 01:03:34,917
...when a couple on HGTV
2026
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:37,042
is renovating
2027
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:37,042
their Craftsman-style home
2028
01:03:37,125 --> 01:03:39,125
and they demand
2029
01:03:37,125 --> 01:03:39,125
a farmhouse sink,
2030
01:03:39,208 --> 01:03:40,542
"We have to have
2031
01:03:39,208 --> 01:03:40,542
a farmhouse sink,"
2032
01:03:40,625 --> 01:03:44,167
because you know what we call
2033
01:03:40,625 --> 01:03:44,167
that in Lake Auburn? A sink.
2034
01:03:44,250 --> 01:03:47,958
(CHUCKLES) And as I'm driving
2035
01:03:44,250 --> 01:03:47,958
through town,
2036
01:03:48,042 --> 01:03:50,333
I-- I notice something.
2037
01:03:50,417 --> 01:03:53,208
No one is social distancing
2038
01:03:50,417 --> 01:03:53,208
or wearing a mask.
2039
01:03:54,750 --> 01:03:58,417
So maybe this is a refuge,
2040
01:03:54,750 --> 01:03:58,417
a-- a safe zone.
2041
01:03:58,500 --> 01:04:01,208
How great,
2042
01:03:58,500 --> 01:04:01,208
how potentially great.
2043
01:04:01,292 --> 01:04:03,708
And-- and I pull into
2044
01:04:01,292 --> 01:04:03,708
our driveway,
2045
01:04:03,792 --> 01:04:06,333
and there's a Trump sign
2046
01:04:03,792 --> 01:04:06,333
on the lawn,
2047
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:08,792
but I tell myself, "No."
2048
01:04:08,875 --> 01:04:12,583
Stop. Lower your knee-jerk
2049
01:04:08,875 --> 01:04:12,583
liberal defense mechanism
2050
01:04:12,667 --> 01:04:15,583
because that sign
2051
01:04:12,667 --> 01:04:15,583
isn't automatically hateful.
2052
01:04:15,667 --> 01:04:19,708
It's not a Confederate flag
2053
01:04:15,667 --> 01:04:19,708
like last Christmas on the tree.
2054
01:04:21,917 --> 01:04:25,750
I go inside,
2055
01:04:21,917 --> 01:04:25,750
and I hug my parents
2056
01:04:25,833 --> 01:04:28,167
and my five
2057
01:04:25,833 --> 01:04:28,167
brothers and sisters,
2058
01:04:28,250 --> 01:04:30,792
which feels so good, except...
2059
01:04:31,917 --> 01:04:34,625
almost all of them
2060
01:04:31,917 --> 01:04:34,625
are wearing MAGA hats.
2061
01:04:35,458 --> 01:04:37,042
Even the dog.
2062
01:04:37,125 --> 01:04:40,167
"No," I tell myself, "stop it.
2063
01:04:40,250 --> 01:04:43,500
They're just hats. Calm down."
2064
01:04:40,250 --> 01:04:43,500
And I'm offered one.
2065
01:04:44,875 --> 01:04:46,833
And it's on my head.
2066
01:04:46,917 --> 01:04:48,292
And everyone is chanting
2067
01:04:48,375 --> 01:04:51,042
and-- and my brother Ned
2068
01:04:48,375 --> 01:04:51,042
reaches into my chest,
2069
01:04:51,125 --> 01:04:53,292
and he pulls out my heart,
2070
01:04:51,125 --> 01:04:53,292
and they eat it.
2071
01:04:53,375 --> 01:04:56,292
No. Stop it, Clarissa.
2072
01:04:53,375 --> 01:04:56,292
Stop exaggerating!
2073
01:04:56,375 --> 01:04:59,000
But I can't.
2074
01:04:56,375 --> 01:04:59,000
There are tater tots!
2075
01:04:59,083 --> 01:05:01,917
♪ (TRANQUIL MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
2076
01:05:03,458 --> 01:05:07,792
So... (SIGHS) I'm with my family
2077
01:05:07,875 --> 01:05:11,083
and I am trying so hard
2078
01:05:07,875 --> 01:05:11,083
not to be a snob,
2079
01:05:11,167 --> 01:05:15,583
because it's not a horror movie
2080
01:05:11,167 --> 01:05:15,583
or Stephen King.
2081
01:05:15,667 --> 01:05:18,083
And then my Uncle Dirk says,
2082
01:05:18,167 --> 01:05:19,917
"Trump's a real
2083
01:05:18,167 --> 01:05:19,917
straight shooter.
2084
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:23,292
Tells it like it is."
2085
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:23,292
And I'm drowning.
2086
01:05:23,375 --> 01:05:25,833
I'm choking. I--
2087
01:05:23,375 --> 01:05:25,833
I try to say something,
2088
01:05:25,917 --> 01:05:27,875
but only random words come out.
2089
01:05:27,958 --> 01:05:29,375
It's like I'm in The Exorcist.
2090
01:05:29,458 --> 01:05:33,458
"Charlottesville,
2091
01:05:29,458 --> 01:05:33,458
Obamagate, golf!"
2092
01:05:33,542 --> 01:05:36,333
And-- and my mom grabs me
2093
01:05:33,542 --> 01:05:36,333
and pulls me into the kitchen.
2094
01:05:36,417 --> 01:05:39,375
She knows me, so she says,
2095
01:05:36,417 --> 01:05:39,375
"Stop it, Clarissa.
2096
01:05:39,458 --> 01:05:41,958
Right now,
2097
01:05:39,458 --> 01:05:41,958
you're driving yourself crazy.
2098
01:05:42,708 --> 01:05:44,083
We are so happy to see you,
2099
01:05:44,167 --> 01:05:46,458
but I'm not sure
2100
01:05:44,167 --> 01:05:46,458
what you're doing here.
2101
01:05:46,542 --> 01:05:48,583
This whole corona
2102
01:05:46,542 --> 01:05:48,583
whatever-the-heck-it-is
2103
01:05:48,667 --> 01:05:49,583
is a hoax.
2104
01:05:49,667 --> 01:05:51,292
It's just like
2105
01:05:49,667 --> 01:05:51,292
that impeachment doohickey,
2106
01:05:51,375 --> 01:05:53,292
or that Russia whatchamadoozie,
2107
01:05:53,375 --> 01:05:56,625
or-- or the idea that Melania
2108
01:05:53,375 --> 01:05:56,625
speaks with a foreign accent.
2109
01:05:56,708 --> 01:05:58,042
She's from Maine."
2110
01:06:00,167 --> 01:06:03,333
And I have no idea
2111
01:06:00,167 --> 01:06:03,333
what to say to that.
2112
01:06:03,417 --> 01:06:07,375
And-- and she keeps going.
2113
01:06:03,417 --> 01:06:07,375
She says, "No one here is sick.
2114
01:06:07,458 --> 01:06:09,750
Well, sure,
2115
01:06:07,458 --> 01:06:09,750
your sister's on methadone,
2116
01:06:09,833 --> 01:06:12,333
and Randy lost a finger
2117
01:06:09,833 --> 01:06:12,333
in that snowmobile accident,
2118
01:06:12,417 --> 01:06:14,167
and your cousin Brittany
2119
01:06:12,417 --> 01:06:14,167
has a little cough
2120
01:06:14,250 --> 01:06:16,042
from working
2121
01:06:14,250 --> 01:06:16,042
at the fulfillment center,
2122
01:06:16,125 --> 01:06:17,250
but we're fine.
2123
01:06:17,333 --> 01:06:18,583
And have you ever thought
2124
01:06:18,667 --> 01:06:20,917
that maybe there is
2125
01:06:18,667 --> 01:06:20,917
some kind of disease,
2126
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:24,542
but that it's all happening
2127
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:24,542
in New York and California
2128
01:06:24,625 --> 01:06:27,333
and maybe that's because
2129
01:06:24,625 --> 01:06:27,333
all of you are so upset?"
2130
01:06:29,583 --> 01:06:32,292
(CHUCKLES) And--
2131
01:06:29,583 --> 01:06:32,292
and maybe she's not crazy.
2132
01:06:33,250 --> 01:06:35,500
Maybe she's not wrong,
2133
01:06:33,250 --> 01:06:35,500
so I listen,
2134
01:06:35,583 --> 01:06:37,250
and she says, "Think about it.
2135
01:06:38,750 --> 01:06:41,000
You wanted an enemy,
2136
01:06:38,750 --> 01:06:41,000
so you made one up.
2137
01:06:41,083 --> 01:06:44,375
It's like with climate change.
2138
01:06:41,083 --> 01:06:44,375
If it snows in New York,
2139
01:06:44,458 --> 01:06:47,167
you commission a study,
2140
01:06:44,458 --> 01:06:47,167
you write 58 op-ed pieces,
2141
01:06:47,250 --> 01:06:50,208
and you blame it on us.
2142
01:06:47,250 --> 01:06:50,208
If it snows out here,
2143
01:06:50,292 --> 01:06:51,708
we put on a sweater."
2144
01:06:54,417 --> 01:06:57,417
And she's actually making sense,
2145
01:06:54,417 --> 01:06:57,417
and I'm calming down,
2146
01:06:57,500 --> 01:06:59,958
and she hands me a cup of tea,
2147
01:06:57,500 --> 01:06:59,958
and she says,
2148
01:07:00,042 --> 01:07:03,250
"And we're not racist.
2149
01:07:00,042 --> 01:07:03,250
That's nonsense.
2150
01:07:03,333 --> 01:07:05,583
There aren't any Black people
2151
01:07:03,333 --> 01:07:05,583
here in Lake Auburn,
2152
01:07:05,667 --> 01:07:07,167
so who would we be racist to?"
2153
01:07:10,625 --> 01:07:11,625
She said that.
2154
01:07:12,458 --> 01:07:13,750
And then she says,
2155
01:07:13,833 --> 01:07:17,125
"And please don't lecture me
2156
01:07:13,833 --> 01:07:17,125
about pronouns,
2157
01:07:17,208 --> 01:07:18,917
because I'll admit it,
2158
01:07:17,208 --> 01:07:18,917
I don't understand
2159
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:23,042
all that transgender, nonbinary,
2160
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:23,042
LGBTQ business,
2161
01:07:23,125 --> 01:07:26,000
so I just call everyone 'dear.'
2162
01:07:23,125 --> 01:07:26,000
Done."
2163
01:07:28,167 --> 01:07:33,125
Which is almost sweet,
2164
01:07:28,167 --> 01:07:33,125
so I smile and she takes my hand
2165
01:07:33,208 --> 01:07:37,458
and she says,
2166
01:07:33,208 --> 01:07:37,458
"And real soon, like tomorrow,
2167
01:07:37,542 --> 01:07:41,667
this whole virus hoo-ha,
2168
01:07:37,542 --> 01:07:41,667
it's all going to be over.
2169
01:07:42,708 --> 01:07:44,125
Just like President Trump said,
2170
01:07:44,208 --> 01:07:47,375
it's gonna be like a miracle,
2171
01:07:44,208 --> 01:07:47,375
and it's gone.
2172
01:07:48,708 --> 01:07:50,000
Why can't you believe him?
2173
01:07:50,083 --> 01:07:53,083
He's given us
2174
01:07:50,083 --> 01:07:53,083
the best economy ever,
2175
01:07:53,167 --> 01:07:55,625
and it's coming right back.
2176
01:07:55,708 --> 01:07:59,208
I love you, sweetheart,
2177
01:07:55,708 --> 01:07:59,208
but you need to have faith."
2178
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:04,500
And in that moment, I...
2179
01:08:06,208 --> 01:08:07,833
I want to believe her.
2180
01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:10,958
I want it so badly, because...
2181
01:08:13,167 --> 01:08:14,292
she's my mom.
2182
01:08:16,958 --> 01:08:19,250
And so I start
2183
01:08:16,958 --> 01:08:19,250
really thinking about it.
2184
01:08:21,042 --> 01:08:22,417
What if I met him?
2185
01:08:23,917 --> 01:08:25,208
What would I say?
2186
01:08:26,542 --> 01:08:29,667
Would I just sputter and scream?
2187
01:08:31,417 --> 01:08:32,583
What if he listened?
2188
01:08:34,208 --> 01:08:35,333
What if I listened?
2189
01:08:36,542 --> 01:08:38,125
What if everyone
2190
01:08:36,542 --> 01:08:38,125
in this country,
2191
01:08:38,208 --> 01:08:42,958
what if we all just stopped
2192
01:08:38,208 --> 01:08:42,958
being so angry and listened?
2193
01:08:48,750 --> 01:08:52,917
So, I leave the kitchen,
2194
01:08:48,750 --> 01:08:52,917
and I look around at my family,
2195
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:56,417
and they're all smiling,
2196
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:56,417
and I think...
2197
01:08:58,250 --> 01:09:01,000
"Maybe this is possible.
2198
01:08:58,250 --> 01:09:01,000
Maybe this can work."
2199
01:09:01,083 --> 01:09:02,667
And then my brother Travis says,
2200
01:09:02,750 --> 01:09:05,083
"Clarissa, you know what's wrong
2201
01:09:02,750 --> 01:09:05,083
with you?
2202
01:09:05,708 --> 01:09:07,375
You've got TDS."
2203
01:09:08,125 --> 01:09:10,250
And I ask, "What's that?"
2204
01:09:10,333 --> 01:09:13,083
And he says,
2205
01:09:10,333 --> 01:09:13,083
"Trump Derangement Syndrome!"
2206
01:09:13,167 --> 01:09:16,542
(LAUGHS)
2207
01:09:13,167 --> 01:09:16,542
And they're all laughing...
2208
01:09:17,958 --> 01:09:19,375
and it's like Rosemary's Baby
2209
01:09:19,458 --> 01:09:21,125
if the Satanists
2210
01:09:19,458 --> 01:09:21,125
all had corndogs,
2211
01:09:21,208 --> 01:09:22,917
and before I know it,
2212
01:09:21,208 --> 01:09:22,917
I'm crying,
2213
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:24,625
and I blurt out, "I can't!
2214
01:09:24,708 --> 01:09:27,167
I can't do this.
2215
01:09:24,708 --> 01:09:27,167
I love you all so much,
2216
01:09:27,250 --> 01:09:29,583
and I don't want to hate you
2217
01:09:27,250 --> 01:09:29,583
or argue with you
2218
01:09:29,667 --> 01:09:32,333
or just grit my teeth and pass
2219
01:09:29,667 --> 01:09:32,333
the gravy boat and say,
2220
01:09:32,417 --> 01:09:35,042
'No, actually, Canada doesn't
2221
01:09:32,417 --> 01:09:35,042
have nuclear weapons.'
2222
01:09:35,125 --> 01:09:36,917
I can't act as if
2223
01:09:35,125 --> 01:09:36,917
there are two sides
2224
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:38,417
to questions
2225
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:38,417
that don't have two sides.
2226
01:09:38,500 --> 01:09:39,833
And Mom,
2227
01:09:38,500 --> 01:09:39,833
I know you're going to say
2228
01:09:39,917 --> 01:09:41,583
I'm choosing politics
2229
01:09:39,917 --> 01:09:41,583
over family,
2230
01:09:41,667 --> 01:09:43,583
and maybe I am, but I can't!
2231
01:09:43,667 --> 01:09:44,833
I can't be here!"
2232
01:09:47,875 --> 01:09:50,542
And my dad drives me
2233
01:09:47,875 --> 01:09:50,542
to the airport,
2234
01:09:50,625 --> 01:09:52,417
and when we pull up
2235
01:09:50,625 --> 01:09:52,417
outside the terminal,
2236
01:09:52,500 --> 01:09:55,042
he says, "Hold on.
2237
01:09:52,500 --> 01:09:55,042
I have to tell you something."
2238
01:09:55,125 --> 01:09:59,042
And this is the weirdest thing
2239
01:09:55,125 --> 01:09:59,042
of all, because my dad...
2240
01:09:59,125 --> 01:10:02,125
he doesn't talk.
2241
01:09:59,125 --> 01:10:02,125
I mean, not ever.
2242
01:10:02,208 --> 01:10:05,292
He-- he's a contractor
2243
01:10:02,208 --> 01:10:05,292
and a vet and a really good guy,
2244
01:10:05,375 --> 01:10:07,083
but he's not chatty,
2245
01:10:05,375 --> 01:10:07,083
or huggy, or--
2246
01:10:07,167 --> 01:10:09,542
Okay, he's the sort of person
2247
01:10:07,167 --> 01:10:09,542
who, if he's not interested,
2248
01:10:09,625 --> 01:10:12,583
he shuts his eyes
2249
01:10:09,625 --> 01:10:12,583
and falls asleep sitting up...
2250
01:10:12,667 --> 01:10:17,292
except for right now,
2251
01:10:12,667 --> 01:10:17,292
because he's looking right at me
2252
01:10:17,375 --> 01:10:19,417
to make sure
2253
01:10:17,375 --> 01:10:19,417
I'm paying attention,
2254
01:10:20,458 --> 01:10:21,500
and he says...
2255
01:10:23,292 --> 01:10:27,292
"I have to tell you something
2256
01:10:23,292 --> 01:10:27,292
because I have to tell someone,
2257
01:10:27,375 --> 01:10:30,292
and if you tell your mom
2258
01:10:27,375 --> 01:10:30,292
or anyone else, I swear to God,
2259
01:10:30,375 --> 01:10:33,917
I'll deny it till my dying day,
2260
01:10:30,375 --> 01:10:33,917
and I'll kill you...
2261
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,750
but I'm not voting for him.
2262
01:10:38,958 --> 01:10:40,125
Not this time. I can't.
2263
01:10:40,208 --> 01:10:43,125
And it's not about the virus
2264
01:10:40,208 --> 01:10:43,125
or collusion or whatever."
2265
01:10:43,208 --> 01:10:44,250
And I say...
2266
01:10:45,458 --> 01:10:46,625
(WHISPERING) "Dad."
2267
01:10:47,625 --> 01:10:48,833
"Dad." And he says...
2268
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:51,583
"John McCain.
2269
01:10:53,333 --> 01:10:57,333
He flew 23 missions,
2270
01:10:53,333 --> 01:10:57,333
and then he got shot down
2271
01:10:57,417 --> 01:11:00,125
and held prisoner
2272
01:10:57,417 --> 01:11:00,125
for five and a half years.
2273
01:11:00,208 --> 01:11:02,083
He was starved and beaten
2274
01:11:02,167 --> 01:11:04,042
so badly that
2275
01:11:02,167 --> 01:11:04,042
for the rest of his life,
2276
01:11:04,125 --> 01:11:06,958
he couldn't raise his arms
2277
01:11:04,125 --> 01:11:06,958
over his head,
2278
01:11:07,042 --> 01:11:11,000
and Trump, he said, 'I like guys
2279
01:11:07,042 --> 01:11:11,000
who weren't captured.'"
2280
01:11:11,083 --> 01:11:14,417
And-- and I have never seen
2281
01:11:11,083 --> 01:11:14,417
my dad like this.
2282
01:11:14,500 --> 01:11:17,333
It is pouring out of him.
2283
01:11:14,500 --> 01:11:17,333
He-- he-- he said,
2284
01:11:17,417 --> 01:11:21,375
"Trump kept insulting the man
2285
01:11:17,417 --> 01:11:21,375
even after he died.
2286
01:11:21,458 --> 01:11:23,417
Trump was making some
2287
01:11:21,458 --> 01:11:23,417
goddamn appearance,
2288
01:11:23,500 --> 01:11:25,250
grinning like a baboon.
2289
01:11:23,500 --> 01:11:25,250
He was in front of
2290
01:11:25,333 --> 01:11:28,083
a naval destroyer
2291
01:11:25,333 --> 01:11:28,083
named the John McCain,
2292
01:11:28,167 --> 01:11:30,542
but Trump had them cover up
2293
01:11:28,167 --> 01:11:30,542
the name."
2294
01:11:32,292 --> 01:11:33,750
And he stops...
2295
01:11:34,708 --> 01:11:37,542
because
2296
01:11:34,708 --> 01:11:37,542
he's so furious or appalled
2297
01:11:37,625 --> 01:11:40,375
but I-- I mean,
2298
01:11:37,625 --> 01:11:40,375
I have never heard my dad
2299
01:11:40,458 --> 01:11:43,875
say this many words in a row,
2300
01:11:40,458 --> 01:11:43,875
but he holds up his hand,
2301
01:11:43,958 --> 01:11:46,083
because he's not finished yet.
2302
01:11:43,958 --> 01:11:46,083
He-- he says,
2303
01:11:46,167 --> 01:11:48,083
"I-- I didn't always agree
2304
01:11:46,167 --> 01:11:48,083
with McCain.
2305
01:11:48,167 --> 01:11:49,917
Hell, I don't even know
2306
01:11:48,167 --> 01:11:49,917
if I liked him,
2307
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:52,333
but the man was a hero.
2308
01:11:52,417 --> 01:11:55,542
An American hero,
2309
01:11:52,417 --> 01:11:55,542
and Trump's a rich boy,
2310
01:11:55,625 --> 01:11:58,042
a five-time draft dodger
2311
01:11:55,625 --> 01:11:58,042
with bone spurs,
2312
01:11:58,125 --> 01:11:59,583
and I don't even care
2313
01:11:58,125 --> 01:11:59,583
about that.
2314
01:11:59,667 --> 01:12:01,208
I care about McCain."
2315
01:12:06,417 --> 01:12:08,083
So, I hug him...
2316
01:12:10,750 --> 01:12:14,458
and I get back on the plane,
2317
01:12:10,750 --> 01:12:14,458
and I fly here to Vermont,
2318
01:12:14,542 --> 01:12:16,833
and I think,
2319
01:12:14,542 --> 01:12:16,833
"I'll just keep making...
2320
01:12:16,917 --> 01:12:19,958
my meditation videos
2321
01:12:16,917 --> 01:12:19,958
to help people."
2322
01:12:22,167 --> 01:12:24,583
Except I can't stop thinking
2323
01:12:22,167 --> 01:12:24,583
about my dad.
2324
01:12:26,708 --> 01:12:28,958
I can't stop thinking
2325
01:12:26,708 --> 01:12:28,958
about everything.
2326
01:12:31,167 --> 01:12:37,750
CROWD: (CHANTING) USA! USA!
2327
01:12:31,167 --> 01:12:37,750
USA! USA! USA! USA!
2328
01:12:40,333 --> 01:12:41,542
(CHANTING FADES)
2329
01:12:42,667 --> 01:12:45,417
I live in Wyoming,
2330
01:12:42,667 --> 01:12:45,417
where we've been lucky.
2331
01:12:46,625 --> 01:12:49,167
They needed nurses in New York.
2332
01:12:49,250 --> 01:12:52,042
My best friend, Kendra,
2333
01:12:49,250 --> 01:12:52,042
was volunteering.
2334
01:12:52,125 --> 01:12:54,875
And I was--
2335
01:12:52,125 --> 01:12:54,875
I was really scared...
2336
01:12:54,958 --> 01:12:58,708
but Kendra said Wyoming
2337
01:12:54,958 --> 01:12:58,708
is so boring, so... (CHUCKLES)
2338
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:02,125
Here-- here I am.
2339
01:13:02,208 --> 01:13:04,708
It's-- it's just like
2340
01:13:02,208 --> 01:13:04,708
everybody says.
2341
01:13:06,792 --> 01:13:08,583
Even the New York
2342
01:13:06,792 --> 01:13:08,583
doctors and nurses,
2343
01:13:08,667 --> 01:13:10,708
they've never seen...
2344
01:13:10,792 --> 01:13:12,750
they've never seen
2345
01:13:10,792 --> 01:13:12,750
anything like it.
2346
01:13:15,208 --> 01:13:17,000
(KISSES TEETH) Uh, I just...
2347
01:13:17,875 --> 01:13:20,042
I just got off a 14-hour shift,
2348
01:13:20,125 --> 01:13:23,542
and I know I should probably
2349
01:13:23,625 --> 01:13:26,417
take off my clothes,
2350
01:13:23,625 --> 01:13:26,417
put 'em in a plastic bag,
2351
01:13:26,500 --> 01:13:27,833
take a shower.
2352
01:13:27,917 --> 01:13:30,083
It's just all so surreal.
2353
01:13:33,833 --> 01:13:35,792
Mostly because
2354
01:13:33,833 --> 01:13:35,792
of this one patient...
2355
01:13:37,917 --> 01:13:38,917
Miriam.
2356
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:43,250
I first met her, like...
2357
01:13:44,833 --> 01:13:46,000
three weeks ago.
2358
01:13:47,083 --> 01:13:49,958
I was working in the tent
2359
01:13:47,083 --> 01:13:49,958
outside the hospital
2360
01:13:50,042 --> 01:13:51,333
doing nasal swabs,
2361
01:13:51,417 --> 01:13:55,708
and she's all dressed up...
2362
01:13:55,792 --> 01:14:02,250
and she's got this amazing shawl
2363
01:13:55,792 --> 01:14:02,250
and lipstick, and I said...
2364
01:14:03,542 --> 01:14:05,083
"I-- I-- I like your bracelet."
2365
01:14:05,167 --> 01:14:07,625
And she says,
2366
01:14:05,167 --> 01:14:07,625
"Oh, thanks. Isn't it pretty?
2367
01:14:07,708 --> 01:14:10,375
My-- my son got it for me
2368
01:14:07,708 --> 01:14:10,375
after I told him to."
2369
01:14:11,625 --> 01:14:13,958
And I said, "Are-- are--
2370
01:14:11,625 --> 01:14:13,958
are you headed somewhere else?"
2371
01:14:14,042 --> 01:14:16,208
And she said, "No, I just wanted
2372
01:14:14,042 --> 01:14:16,208
to look nice
2373
01:14:16,292 --> 01:14:18,458
for the doctors and nurses."
2374
01:14:18,542 --> 01:14:20,375
And I said, "That--
2375
01:14:18,542 --> 01:14:20,375
that's awesome."
2376
01:14:21,375 --> 01:14:22,833
And then she says, "I'm Jewish."
2377
01:14:23,625 --> 01:14:25,583
And then I went, "Oh, uh...
2378
01:14:25,667 --> 01:14:27,792
Nazel tok." (LAUGHS)
2379
01:14:29,208 --> 01:14:31,917
And then she says,
2380
01:14:29,208 --> 01:14:31,917
"You'll get there."
2381
01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:37,792
She's smart and funny.
2382
01:14:38,958 --> 01:14:40,875
(CHUCKLES)
2383
01:14:38,958 --> 01:14:40,875
After I stuck the swab
2384
01:14:40,958 --> 01:14:43,167
all the way up her nose,
2385
01:14:40,958 --> 01:14:43,167
she said,
2386
01:14:43,250 --> 01:14:45,875
she said,
2387
01:14:43,250 --> 01:14:45,875
"Thank you and fuck you."
2388
01:14:47,042 --> 01:14:50,500
(CHUCKLES) And we laughed.
2389
01:14:50,583 --> 01:14:55,417
And her temperature was 99.8,
2390
01:14:50,583 --> 01:14:55,417
so the doctor sends her home,
2391
01:14:55,500 --> 01:14:57,625
tells her to monitor
2392
01:14:55,500 --> 01:14:57,625
her symptoms.
2393
01:14:58,417 --> 01:15:00,167
And she says, "I know. I know.
2394
01:15:00,250 --> 01:15:03,167
My daughter's a neurologist
2395
01:15:00,250 --> 01:15:03,167
in Seattle."
2396
01:15:03,250 --> 01:15:05,708
And she turns to go,
2397
01:15:03,250 --> 01:15:05,708
and then she turns back
2398
01:15:05,792 --> 01:15:08,125
and says, "Single."
2399
01:15:08,208 --> 01:15:10,542
And then she turns to go,
2400
01:15:08,208 --> 01:15:10,542
and then she turns back
2401
01:15:10,625 --> 01:15:12,750
and says, "Again."
2402
01:15:13,667 --> 01:15:14,958
(CHUCKLES)
2403
01:15:17,625 --> 01:15:19,583
Uh...
2404
01:15:19,667 --> 01:15:24,167
The next time I see her,
2405
01:15:19,667 --> 01:15:24,167
um, I'm working the ER
2406
01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:26,625
and she's being admitted...
2407
01:15:27,750 --> 01:15:29,917
'cause she's up to 102
2408
01:15:27,750 --> 01:15:29,917
and coughing.
2409
01:15:31,542 --> 01:15:32,625
Not-- not terrible,
2410
01:15:32,708 --> 01:15:35,958
but the doctor just wants to do
2411
01:15:32,708 --> 01:15:35,958
a chest X-ray,
2412
01:15:36,042 --> 01:15:40,875
and Miriam,
2413
01:15:36,042 --> 01:15:40,875
she-- she remembers me.
2414
01:15:40,958 --> 01:15:42,958
And she says,
2415
01:15:40,958 --> 01:15:42,958
"You're from Wyoming, right?"
2416
01:15:43,042 --> 01:15:43,958
And I said, "Yeah."
2417
01:15:44,042 --> 01:15:46,250
And she says,
2418
01:15:44,042 --> 01:15:46,250
"So you weren't kidding."
2419
01:15:47,250 --> 01:15:49,417
(CHUCKLES)
2420
01:15:47,250 --> 01:15:49,417
And then I hand her a gown,
2421
01:15:49,500 --> 01:15:51,542
and then she says,
2422
01:15:49,500 --> 01:15:51,542
"Before this goes any further,
2423
01:15:51,625 --> 01:15:53,125
I need to ask you something.
2424
01:15:53,833 --> 01:15:55,292
Are you a Republican?"
2425
01:15:57,125 --> 01:15:59,500
And I said, um...
2426
01:15:59,583 --> 01:16:02,125
"No. Uh, I guess...
2427
01:16:03,167 --> 01:16:05,042
I guess I'm--
2428
01:16:03,167 --> 01:16:05,042
I'm an Independent."
2429
01:16:07,375 --> 01:16:11,292
And then she just stares at me
2430
01:16:07,375 --> 01:16:11,292
like Darth Vader
2431
01:16:11,375 --> 01:16:13,750
and just says, "Oy."
2432
01:16:13,833 --> 01:16:15,500
(CHUCKLES)
2433
01:16:15,583 --> 01:16:17,750
And I-- I ask her
2434
01:16:15,583 --> 01:16:17,750
what that means,
2435
01:16:17,833 --> 01:16:21,500
and she just says, "It means
2436
01:16:17,833 --> 01:16:21,500
that if you say that any louder,
2437
01:16:21,583 --> 01:16:24,042
everyone in the tri-state area
2438
01:16:21,583 --> 01:16:24,042
will kill you."
2439
01:16:25,833 --> 01:16:27,417
Her X-ray isn't good...
2440
01:16:28,708 --> 01:16:30,542
but she's not showing
2441
01:16:28,708 --> 01:16:30,542
any advanced symptoms,
2442
01:16:30,625 --> 01:16:33,083
but the doctor just wants to
2443
01:16:30,625 --> 01:16:33,083
find her a bed for observation
2444
01:16:33,167 --> 01:16:35,500
and start her on
2445
01:16:33,167 --> 01:16:35,500
this experimental protocol.
2446
01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:42,667
And she says, "You mean that--
2447
01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:42,667
that hydro-whatever-it-is?
2448
01:16:42,750 --> 01:16:44,500
That-- that Trump bullshit?"
2449
01:16:44,583 --> 01:16:46,958
And I said, "Yes, Miriam.
2450
01:16:47,042 --> 01:16:48,833
It says right here
2451
01:16:47,042 --> 01:16:48,833
on the IV drip,
2452
01:16:48,917 --> 01:16:53,125
'550 CCs of Trump Bullshit
2453
01:16:48,917 --> 01:16:53,125
every hour.'"
2454
01:16:53,208 --> 01:16:55,167
And then she says,
2455
01:16:53,208 --> 01:16:55,167
"Oh, it's just like Fox News."
2456
01:16:55,250 --> 01:16:57,292
And then I said, "Yeah, well,
2457
01:16:55,250 --> 01:16:57,292
maybe it'll start working."
2458
01:16:57,375 --> 01:16:59,333
And she says,
2459
01:16:57,375 --> 01:16:59,333
"And that's what his parents
2460
01:16:59,417 --> 01:17:00,583
said about Jared."
2461
01:17:03,500 --> 01:17:04,625
She's tough.
2462
01:17:06,208 --> 01:17:07,375
She's tough.
2463
01:17:08,542 --> 01:17:10,667
I told her, I said-- I said...
2464
01:17:12,333 --> 01:17:14,583
"I've never met
2465
01:17:12,333 --> 01:17:14,583
anyone like you."
2466
01:17:16,083 --> 01:17:17,875
And she says, "What, you mean--
2467
01:17:17,958 --> 01:17:19,708
you mean a strong,
2468
01:17:17,958 --> 01:17:19,708
independent woman?"
2469
01:17:19,792 --> 01:17:23,250
And I said, "No, so much Kleenex
2470
01:17:19,792 --> 01:17:23,250
in your purse."
2471
01:17:26,042 --> 01:17:28,625
(SIGHS) And then she--
2472
01:17:26,042 --> 01:17:28,625
she starts coughing,
2473
01:17:28,708 --> 01:17:31,458
and I-- I guess I-- I guess
2474
01:17:28,708 --> 01:17:31,458
I must've looked worried,
2475
01:17:31,542 --> 01:17:34,750
and she says, "Well,
2476
01:17:31,542 --> 01:17:34,750
let's hope it's cancer."
2477
01:17:34,833 --> 01:17:35,875
(LAUGHS)
2478
01:17:37,583 --> 01:17:41,333
We don't say shit like that
2479
01:17:37,583 --> 01:17:41,333
in Wyoming. (LAUGHS)
2480
01:17:44,542 --> 01:17:45,542
(SIGHS)
2481
01:17:47,708 --> 01:17:51,083
And the days are just getting
2482
01:17:47,708 --> 01:17:51,083
more and more insane.
2483
01:17:51,167 --> 01:17:53,792
The halls are filled
2484
01:17:51,167 --> 01:17:53,792
with patients on gurneys
2485
01:17:53,875 --> 01:17:55,125
waiting for beds.
2486
01:17:56,125 --> 01:17:57,708
We're all wearing more
2487
01:17:56,125 --> 01:17:57,708
and more PPE
2488
01:17:57,792 --> 01:17:59,958
when we can get it, and...
2489
01:18:01,833 --> 01:18:05,417
the whole hospital just looks
2490
01:18:01,833 --> 01:18:05,417
like a-- a cross between
2491
01:18:05,500 --> 01:18:08,750
a space station and--
2492
01:18:05,500 --> 01:18:08,750
and a subway.
2493
01:18:12,625 --> 01:18:16,792
Now we're all just trying
2494
01:18:12,625 --> 01:18:16,792
to hold it together 'cause...
2495
01:18:18,875 --> 01:18:21,000
that's what they taught us
2496
01:18:18,875 --> 01:18:21,000
in nursing school.
2497
01:18:22,958 --> 01:18:25,917
Do the job, provide comfort...
2498
01:18:29,792 --> 01:18:32,292
because if you start crying,
2499
01:18:29,792 --> 01:18:32,292
you'll never stop.
2500
01:18:36,417 --> 01:18:38,750
And one day,
2501
01:18:36,417 --> 01:18:38,750
we lose eight people.
2502
01:18:41,375 --> 01:18:45,708
The next day, it's 18, 27...
2503
01:18:49,583 --> 01:18:52,458
and the only thing
2504
01:18:49,583 --> 01:18:52,458
that's keeping me going is her.
2505
01:18:54,625 --> 01:18:55,583
Miriam.
2506
01:18:58,792 --> 01:19:00,083
Because she's stable,
2507
01:19:00,167 --> 01:19:03,292
and I-- I keep telling myself
2508
01:19:00,167 --> 01:19:03,292
she's gonna make it,
2509
01:19:03,375 --> 01:19:04,833
'cause people are making it.
2510
01:19:06,792 --> 01:19:08,917
And I-- I take her vitals
2511
01:19:06,792 --> 01:19:08,917
and she's--
2512
01:19:09,000 --> 01:19:10,875
she's got this terrible look
2513
01:19:09,000 --> 01:19:10,875
on her face,
2514
01:19:10,958 --> 01:19:13,042
and I ask,
2515
01:19:10,958 --> 01:19:13,042
"Miriam, what's wrong?"
2516
01:19:13,833 --> 01:19:15,000
And she points to the--
2517
01:19:15,083 --> 01:19:16,875
to the TV
2518
01:19:15,083 --> 01:19:16,875
hanging up on the wall.
2519
01:19:16,958 --> 01:19:21,333
And it's one of those
2520
01:19:16,958 --> 01:19:21,333
White House press briefings,
2521
01:19:21,417 --> 01:19:25,167
and the president's talking
2522
01:19:21,417 --> 01:19:25,167
about how great everything is,
2523
01:19:25,250 --> 01:19:27,583
and what an amazing job
2524
01:19:25,250 --> 01:19:27,583
he's doing.
2525
01:19:27,667 --> 01:19:30,167
And Miriam's wheezing,
2526
01:19:27,667 --> 01:19:30,167
and she says,
2527
01:19:30,250 --> 01:19:33,750
"I need Advil, the bedpan,
2528
01:19:30,250 --> 01:19:33,750
and a gun."
2529
01:19:33,833 --> 01:19:36,750
I just said, "Miriam,
2530
01:19:33,833 --> 01:19:36,750
we're-- we're turning this off,"
2531
01:19:36,833 --> 01:19:38,500
and she won't give me
2532
01:19:36,833 --> 01:19:38,500
the remote,
2533
01:19:38,583 --> 01:19:40,375
and then we both hear him
2534
01:19:38,583 --> 01:19:40,375
talking about
2535
01:19:40,458 --> 01:19:42,792
how we can maybe
2536
01:19:40,458 --> 01:19:42,792
start injecting ourselves
2537
01:19:42,875 --> 01:19:45,125
with-- with disinfectant
2538
01:19:42,875 --> 01:19:45,125
or bleach,
2539
01:19:45,208 --> 01:19:47,667
and she says,
2540
01:19:45,208 --> 01:19:47,667
"What is he talkin' about?
2541
01:19:47,750 --> 01:19:49,375
Is he talking
2542
01:19:47,750 --> 01:19:49,375
about cleaning products?
2543
01:19:49,458 --> 01:19:51,500
Is-- is it a Jewish disease?"
2544
01:19:49,458 --> 01:19:51,500
(CHUCKLES)
2545
01:19:51,583 --> 01:19:52,708
And then she tells me,
2546
01:19:52,792 --> 01:19:56,208
"I need 800 milligrams
2547
01:19:52,792 --> 01:19:56,208
of Lemon Pledge, stat."
2548
01:19:59,042 --> 01:20:01,750
And she starts coughing,
2549
01:19:59,042 --> 01:20:01,750
and I said,
2550
01:20:01,833 --> 01:20:04,750
"Miriam, you just need to--
2551
01:20:01,833 --> 01:20:04,750
you just need to calm down.
2552
01:20:04,833 --> 01:20:07,292
You-- you can't--
2553
01:20:04,833 --> 01:20:07,292
you can't watch him."
2554
01:20:07,375 --> 01:20:09,792
And she says,
2555
01:20:07,375 --> 01:20:09,792
"Don't you get it?
2556
01:20:09,875 --> 01:20:13,542
My rage is the only thing
2557
01:20:09,875 --> 01:20:13,542
that's keeping me alive."
2558
01:20:17,750 --> 01:20:20,875
The doctor comes in and we have
2559
01:20:17,750 --> 01:20:20,875
a conversation out in the hall
2560
01:20:20,958 --> 01:20:22,833
about putting Miriam
2561
01:20:20,958 --> 01:20:22,833
on a ventilator,
2562
01:20:22,917 --> 01:20:25,500
if we can even find one,
2563
01:20:25,583 --> 01:20:29,792
and I ask him if--
2564
01:20:25,583 --> 01:20:29,792
if, you know, maybe she's right.
2565
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:33,792
Maybe she just needs
2566
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:33,792
to keep talking.
2567
01:20:36,958 --> 01:20:39,375
And then, the next morning,
2568
01:20:36,958 --> 01:20:39,375
I get to the hospital
2569
01:20:39,458 --> 01:20:43,667
and there's a refrigerated truck
2570
01:20:39,458 --> 01:20:43,667
parked outside
2571
01:20:43,750 --> 01:20:46,167
because there are
2572
01:20:43,750 --> 01:20:46,167
so many bodies.
2573
01:20:48,833 --> 01:20:51,833
And I get to Miriam's room,
2574
01:20:48,833 --> 01:20:51,833
and she's doing a little better.
2575
01:20:53,208 --> 01:20:55,917
Her cough is intermittent,
2576
01:20:53,208 --> 01:20:55,917
she's sipping Pedialyte,
2577
01:20:56,833 --> 01:20:59,625
and she tells me, "Sharynn...
2578
01:21:01,125 --> 01:21:03,375
last night, I had a dream."
2579
01:21:03,458 --> 01:21:07,417
And she says that...
2580
01:21:03,458 --> 01:21:07,417
"I dreamed that when I woke up,
2581
01:21:08,167 --> 01:21:09,708
everything was different.
2582
01:21:10,458 --> 01:21:12,875
People were still sick, but...
2583
01:21:12,958 --> 01:21:16,208
everyone wasn't fighting
2584
01:21:12,958 --> 01:21:16,208
or calling each other names
2585
01:21:16,292 --> 01:21:19,208
or blaming everything
2586
01:21:16,292 --> 01:21:19,208
on the Chinese
2587
01:21:19,292 --> 01:21:22,458
or waving Confederate flags."
2588
01:21:19,292 --> 01:21:22,458
And I said...
2589
01:21:24,125 --> 01:21:27,292
"Well, in your-- in your dream,
2590
01:21:24,125 --> 01:21:27,292
who-- who was president?"
2591
01:21:27,375 --> 01:21:29,292
And she said, "Me." (CHUCKLES)
2592
01:21:29,375 --> 01:21:32,500
And then I just got so busy...
2593
01:21:32,583 --> 01:21:36,458
'cause we admitted 58 more
2594
01:21:32,583 --> 01:21:36,458
COVID patients in one day,
2595
01:21:36,542 --> 01:21:41,750
and I-- I didn't have time
2596
01:21:36,542 --> 01:21:41,750
to check in on Miriam...
2597
01:21:44,333 --> 01:21:46,500
because... (KISSES TEETH)
2598
01:21:46,583 --> 01:21:50,250
four nurses tested positive
2599
01:21:46,583 --> 01:21:50,250
and were quarantined.
2600
01:21:50,333 --> 01:21:52,458
I had one patient
2601
01:21:50,333 --> 01:21:52,458
that was giving birth...
2602
01:21:54,500 --> 01:21:57,083
and her husband wasn't allowed
2603
01:21:54,500 --> 01:21:57,083
in the delivery room,
2604
01:21:57,167 --> 01:22:00,042
and another patient was dying,
2605
01:22:00,125 --> 01:22:02,958
and I had to hold
2606
01:22:00,125 --> 01:22:02,958
the phone to his ear
2607
01:22:03,042 --> 01:22:05,750
so that his family could
2608
01:22:03,042 --> 01:22:05,750
tell him that they loved him.
2609
01:22:08,583 --> 01:22:11,333
And the only thing that was
2610
01:22:08,583 --> 01:22:11,333
getting me through it was...
2611
01:22:13,458 --> 01:22:14,458
her.
2612
01:22:17,042 --> 01:22:18,500
Like, Miriam's gonna make it...
2613
01:22:20,250 --> 01:22:22,167
'cause God wouldn't dare.
2614
01:22:25,500 --> 01:22:27,125
Then the next morning,
2615
01:22:25,500 --> 01:22:27,125
she's even better.
2616
01:22:27,208 --> 01:22:28,625
We don't need a ventilator.
2617
01:22:28,708 --> 01:22:31,833
And I asked the doctor
2618
01:22:28,708 --> 01:22:31,833
if she can be discharged,
2619
01:22:31,917 --> 01:22:34,750
and-- and he says,
2620
01:22:31,917 --> 01:22:34,750
"Yes, this afternoon."
2621
01:22:35,542 --> 01:22:37,667
And I tell myself, "Okay...
2622
01:22:37,750 --> 01:22:41,208
(INHALES)
2623
01:22:37,750 --> 01:22:41,208
This is what hope looks like."
2624
01:22:43,083 --> 01:22:47,875
Later, just-- just after 2:00,
2625
01:22:43,083 --> 01:22:47,875
I get to Miriam's room...
2626
01:22:48,958 --> 01:22:52,083
with a wheelchair,
2627
01:22:48,958 --> 01:22:52,083
and I'm picturing myself...
2628
01:22:53,500 --> 01:22:55,333
wheeling her
2629
01:22:53,500 --> 01:22:55,333
out the front door...
2630
01:22:56,625 --> 01:22:58,000
into the fresh air...
2631
01:23:02,500 --> 01:23:04,375
while everybody cheers.
2632
01:23:09,333 --> 01:23:11,083
But she's gone.
2633
01:23:13,417 --> 01:23:16,042
♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
2634
01:23:16,917 --> 01:23:17,958
A stroke.
2635
01:23:25,250 --> 01:23:26,708
She couldn't breathe.
2636
01:23:28,667 --> 01:23:30,083
We tried everything.
2637
01:23:33,333 --> 01:23:36,083
I didn't even have enough time
2638
01:23:33,333 --> 01:23:36,083
to call her daughter in Seattle,
2639
01:23:36,167 --> 01:23:39,208
and she had a living will...
2640
01:23:41,625 --> 01:23:42,958
but I wasn't there.
2641
01:23:50,833 --> 01:23:52,417
I mean, I'm not her child.
2642
01:23:53,917 --> 01:23:55,917
I'm not her family. (SNIFFLES)
2643
01:23:58,208 --> 01:23:59,375
But I wasn't there.
2644
01:24:02,625 --> 01:24:05,000
(SNIFFLES) Uh...
2645
01:24:08,292 --> 01:24:10,458
(INHALES)
2646
01:24:08,292 --> 01:24:10,458
Over the next few weeks,
2647
01:24:10,542 --> 01:24:13,250
things got... things got better.
2648
01:24:14,667 --> 01:24:16,500
Fewer COVID patients. (SNIFFLES)
2649
01:24:18,000 --> 01:24:19,042
Less death.
2650
01:24:20,458 --> 01:24:22,083
They shut down
2651
01:24:20,458 --> 01:24:22,083
the Javits Center...
2652
01:24:24,000 --> 01:24:26,792
and the navy hospital ship left,
2653
01:24:24,000 --> 01:24:26,792
and, uh...
2654
01:24:28,417 --> 01:24:29,958
tomorrow, I'm going home.
2655
01:24:33,667 --> 01:24:35,958
(SNIFFLES) I, uh...
2656
01:24:38,083 --> 01:24:41,917
I met Miriam's daughter,
2657
01:24:38,083 --> 01:24:41,917
and she's so sweet. (SNIFFLES)
2658
01:24:44,000 --> 01:24:47,500
She gave me Miriam's bracelet,
2659
01:24:44,000 --> 01:24:47,500
a Playbill,
2660
01:24:47,583 --> 01:24:51,208
and a tote bag
2661
01:24:47,583 --> 01:24:51,208
for Planned Parenthood.
2662
01:24:52,917 --> 01:24:55,667
(SNIFFLES) And she said
2663
01:24:52,917 --> 01:24:55,667
if Miriam was a Pharaoh,
2664
01:24:56,792 --> 01:24:58,708
that's what would be
2665
01:24:56,792 --> 01:24:58,708
in her pyramid.
2666
01:25:00,208 --> 01:25:05,000
And I ask her what she thinks
2667
01:25:00,208 --> 01:25:05,000
is gonna be on her tombstone...
2668
01:25:06,250 --> 01:25:07,542
and she thought about it.
2669
01:25:09,583 --> 01:25:13,167
And then at exactly
2670
01:25:09,583 --> 01:25:13,167
the same time...
2671
01:25:14,250 --> 01:25:17,458
we both said, "Fuck you."
2672
01:25:17,542 --> 01:25:21,500
(CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES)
2673
01:25:28,333 --> 01:25:31,708
(INHALES) I keep thinking
2674
01:25:28,333 --> 01:25:31,708
about ways I can honor her
2675
01:25:32,417 --> 01:25:33,792
and what would suit her.
2676
01:25:37,125 --> 01:25:38,458
And what would she want?
2677
01:25:40,875 --> 01:25:42,500
And I think
2678
01:25:40,875 --> 01:25:42,500
I've figured it out...
2679
01:25:44,875 --> 01:25:47,375
but I'm gonna keep it
2680
01:25:44,875 --> 01:25:47,375
between Miriam and me.
2681
01:25:48,792 --> 01:25:50,083
But I'll give you a hint.
2682
01:25:52,917 --> 01:25:54,417
I'm not voting Independent.
2683
01:25:58,833 --> 01:26:01,958
♪ ("THE END OF THE WORLD"
2684
01:25:58,833 --> 01:26:01,958
BY SHARON VAN ETTEN PLAYING) ♪
2685
01:26:06,333 --> 01:26:12,542
♪ Why does the sun
2686
01:26:06,333 --> 01:26:12,542
Go on shining? ♪
2687
01:26:13,958 --> 01:26:19,625
♪ Why does the sea
2688
01:26:13,958 --> 01:26:19,625
Rush to shore? ♪
2689
01:26:21,500 --> 01:26:28,625
♪ Don't they know
2690
01:26:21,500 --> 01:26:28,625
It's the end of the world? ♪
2691
01:26:28,708 --> 01:26:34,375
♪ 'Cause you don't
2692
01:26:28,708 --> 01:26:34,375
Love me anymore ♪
2693
01:26:36,500 --> 01:26:42,708
♪ Why do the birds
2694
01:26:36,500 --> 01:26:42,708
Go on singing? ♪
2695
01:26:44,125 --> 01:26:50,417
♪ Why do the stars glow above? ♪
2696
01:26:51,667 --> 01:26:59,000
♪ Don't they know
2697
01:26:51,667 --> 01:26:59,000
It's the end of the world? ♪
2698
01:26:59,083 --> 01:27:05,167
♪ It ended
2699
01:26:59,083 --> 01:27:05,167
When I lost your love ♪
2700
01:27:09,792 --> 01:27:11,958
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪