1
00:00:53,205 --> 00:00:55,337
It gives me great pride
2
00:00:55,372 --> 00:00:58,373
to complete the work
of securing our southern border.
3
00:00:58,408 --> 00:01:00,243
When this project started,
4
00:01:00,278 --> 00:01:03,708
over 11 million people
lived here illegally.
5
00:01:03,743 --> 00:01:06,810
Well, we've not only
got rid of them,
6
00:01:06,845 --> 00:01:09,318
but this beautiful wall
7
00:01:09,353 --> 00:01:12,618
will ensure that
they can never return.
8
00:01:12,653 --> 00:01:14,950
- Yeah!
- Yes!
9
00:01:14,985 --> 00:01:17,359
We got 'em.
10
00:01:17,394 --> 00:01:20,428
Credit should also go
to the Tesla Corporation,
11
00:01:20,463 --> 00:01:23,794
who ten years ago
created the wonderful robots
12
00:01:23,829 --> 00:01:26,632
who now do the tasks
the illegals once did,
13
00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:29,635
but without robbing and raping
14
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:31,703
decent Americans in the process,
15
00:01:31,738 --> 00:01:34,475
or complaining
when they're disposed of.
16
00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:36,510
( cheering )
17
00:01:36,545 --> 00:01:38,644
( music playing )
18
00:01:38,679 --> 00:01:41,317
Yes! USA!
19
00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:43,616
♪ Oh, the boll weevil
am the little brown bug ♪
20
00:01:43,651 --> 00:01:46,289
- USA!
- ♪ Come from Mexico ♪
21
00:01:46,324 --> 00:01:47,983
♪ They say, uh-huh ♪
22
00:01:48,018 --> 00:01:50,986
♪ Come all the way to Texas ♪
23
00:01:51,021 --> 00:01:52,823
♪ Looking for a place
to stay ♪
24
00:01:52,858 --> 00:01:55,793
♪ Just looking for a home ♪
25
00:01:55,828 --> 00:01:58,994
♪ Just looking for a home ♪
26
00:01:59,029 --> 00:02:02,305
♪ Now, the first time
I seen the boll weevil ♪
27
00:02:02,340 --> 00:02:05,704
♪ He's a-sitting
on the square ♪
28
00:02:05,739 --> 00:02:08,410
♪ Next time
I see the boll weevil ♪
29
00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:10,577
♪ He's got all
his family there ♪
30
00:02:10,612 --> 00:02:14,482
♪ Just looking for a home ♪
31
00:02:19,588 --> 00:02:20,719
Happy skating.
32
00:02:34,306 --> 00:02:35,404
Oh! Ah!
33
00:02:35,439 --> 00:02:37,373
- Oh, my God!
- Bugger!
34
00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:39,573
- Are you okay?
- ( pants, grunts )
35
00:02:39,608 --> 00:02:42,411
- Here, let me help you.
- Thank you.
36
00:02:42,446 --> 00:02:45,579
Oh. Oof.
37
00:02:45,614 --> 00:02:48,384
My God, you're beautiful.
38
00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:50,551
So sorry.
That's so inappropriate.
39
00:02:50,586 --> 00:02:52,685
I might be a little dazed.
40
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:53,851
I'm Charles, by the way.
41
00:02:53,886 --> 00:02:57,019
- It's okay. I'm Emily.
- Thank you.
42
00:02:57,054 --> 00:02:59,461
You're welcome.
Let's get you off the ice.
43
00:02:59,496 --> 00:03:02,827
Yes. Oh! Thank you.
44
00:03:12,344 --> 00:03:13,673
- May I?
- Oh.
45
00:03:20,913 --> 00:03:22,781
Thank you.
46
00:03:25,489 --> 00:03:27,687
Trash can...
47
00:03:27,722 --> 00:03:29,755
( whirring, sputtering )
48
00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:31,988
Trash can...
49
00:03:34,091 --> 00:03:36,025
Nice day. Day nice.
50
00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:39,501
- ( continues sputtering )
- ( whistles )
51
00:03:58,753 --> 00:04:00,951
- Good morning, Jane.
- Good morning, Charles.
52
00:04:00,986 --> 00:04:01,818
Looking radiant as ever.
53
00:04:05,859 --> 00:04:07,694
- ( knocking on door )
- Hey, Charles.
54
00:04:07,729 --> 00:04:09,993
Hi, Dad.
Scottsdale's looking good.
55
00:04:10,028 --> 00:04:11,995
I managed to get around
the atrium acoustics issue
56
00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:13,601
which was holding us up
for the permit.
57
00:04:13,636 --> 00:04:15,834
- Great job, son.
- And I got these for mum.
58
00:04:15,869 --> 00:04:18,540
Aw, well, why don't you
give them to her yourself?
59
00:04:18,575 --> 00:04:20,036
She's making lasagna
this evening.
60
00:04:20,071 --> 00:04:22,874
I'd love to, but it's
date number four with Emily,
61
00:04:22,909 --> 00:04:24,909
and I think
she might be the one.
62
00:04:24,944 --> 00:04:26,812
That's great.
63
00:04:26,847 --> 00:04:28,715
You know, at the risk
of sounding patronizing,
64
00:04:28,750 --> 00:04:31,080
the change in you
this past year
has been incredible.
65
00:04:31,115 --> 00:04:34,721
Thanks, Dad.
I really managed to pull myself
out of a dark period.
66
00:04:34,756 --> 00:04:35,887
You still think about her?
67
00:04:35,922 --> 00:04:37,119
- Francesca?
- Mm.
68
00:04:37,154 --> 00:04:38,857
- God, no.
- Well, that's the spirit.
69
00:04:38,892 --> 00:04:40,760
- And to think--
- Hey, Pop, I need you.
70
00:04:40,795 --> 00:04:42,762
'Sup, half-bro. Pop?
71
00:04:42,797 --> 00:04:44,665
Yeah, Charles
has a new girlfriend.
72
00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:46,029
- It's pretty serious.
- Wow.
73
00:04:46,064 --> 00:04:48,130
I look forward to
meeting her brains out.
74
00:04:48,165 --> 00:04:51,408
- Pop, come on.
- See you later, Charles.
75
00:04:51,443 --> 00:04:53,003
Nice.
76
00:05:07,756 --> 00:05:09,888
I don't want
this evening to end.
77
00:05:09,923 --> 00:05:12,055
Come back to my place.
78
00:05:12,090 --> 00:05:14,563
I'd like nothing more,
79
00:05:14,598 --> 00:05:16,796
but I really want
our first time to be special.
80
00:05:18,470 --> 00:05:22,769
- Tonight.
- Tomorrow.
81
00:05:22,804 --> 00:05:23,935
I promise.
82
00:05:30,911 --> 00:05:34,044
( video game gunfire )
83
00:05:34,079 --> 00:05:36,882
I saw Emily after work.
84
00:05:36,917 --> 00:05:38,917
She wanted me to go back
to her place.
85
00:05:42,626 --> 00:05:45,220
I got you a Lotaburger
on the way home.
86
00:05:45,255 --> 00:05:47,057
Would you like me
to remove the vegetables
87
00:05:47,092 --> 00:05:49,895
- and transfer it to a plate?
- Fuck's sake!
88
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:53,602
- ( "Reveille" playing )
- Ugh.
89
00:05:53,637 --> 00:05:58,673
Thanks to you,
that's now 50,001 Americans
killed in North Korea.
90
00:05:58,708 --> 00:06:00,840
Put yourself on
deprogram now, C2.
91
00:06:00,875 --> 00:06:02,479
Yes, Charles.
92
00:06:06,914 --> 00:06:08,782
- May I?
- Oh.
93
00:06:08,817 --> 00:06:11,114
C2, what is the point of me
94
00:06:11,149 --> 00:06:13,182
committing random acts
of kindness
95
00:06:13,217 --> 00:06:15,954
if they're not
put on social media
for the whole world to see?
96
00:06:15,989 --> 00:06:19,188
Well, Charles,
altruism is an integral
virtue of any society.
97
00:06:19,223 --> 00:06:22,565
Altruism doesn't get you laid
if nobody knows about it.
98
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,897
Right, let's see what else
you 9/11-ed today.
99
00:06:26,164 --> 00:06:27,867
I don't want
this evening to end.
100
00:06:27,902 --> 00:06:29,638
- Nice.
- Come back to my place.
101
00:06:29,673 --> 00:06:31,200
How many dates to reel
this one in?
102
00:06:31,235 --> 00:06:32,839
Just four, Charles.
103
00:06:32,874 --> 00:06:34,676
Those ice skating chicks
are the best.
104
00:06:34,711 --> 00:06:36,777
Yes, Emily is fascinating.
105
00:06:36,812 --> 00:06:38,944
She majored in Econ at Tufts
106
00:06:38,979 --> 00:06:41,012
and is a connoisseur
of classic cinema,
107
00:06:41,047 --> 00:06:42,948
in particular,
the oeuvre of Adam Sandler.
108
00:06:42,983 --> 00:06:44,653
That's not what I meant.
109
00:06:44,688 --> 00:06:48,283
I had you built
specifically to spare me
110
00:06:48,318 --> 00:06:50,923
from the tedium of dating.
111
00:06:50,958 --> 00:06:53,629
I'm interested in women
for one thing
112
00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,598
and one thing only.
113
00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:58,535
Reporter: Thomas Newton,
a systems analyst for Raytheon,
114
00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:01,164
was today sentenced
to 28 years in prison
115
00:07:01,199 --> 00:07:02,671
after authorities discovered
116
00:07:02,706 --> 00:07:04,640
he had an illegal
robot double of himself.
117
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,170
Strictly prohibited
for civilian ownership,
118
00:07:07,205 --> 00:07:09,975
it is long been rumored
that advanced android clones
119
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:12,142
are available
on the black market.
120
00:07:12,177 --> 00:07:14,881
Suspicions were first aroused
when 58-year-old Newton,
121
00:07:14,916 --> 00:07:16,553
a keen amateur runner,
122
00:07:16,588 --> 00:07:19,116
broke the world marathon record
in Ohio last June...
123
00:07:19,151 --> 00:07:24,022
- You hear that, dummy?
- Yes, Charles.
124
00:07:24,057 --> 00:07:25,562
We'll need to be more careful.
125
00:07:25,597 --> 00:07:26,728
No leaving the house
126
00:07:26,763 --> 00:07:28,257
at the same time, understood?
127
00:07:28,292 --> 00:07:29,962
Yes, Charles.
128
00:07:29,997 --> 00:07:32,261
Now shut your mouth.
I need to pee.
129
00:07:32,296 --> 00:07:33,570
Yes, Charles.
130
00:07:35,365 --> 00:07:37,035
Good evening, Miss Denholm.
131
00:07:37,070 --> 00:07:40,071
Would you like to have
the most incredible sex with me?
132
00:07:40,106 --> 00:07:43,173
Ha! Indeed I would, kind sir.
133
00:07:43,208 --> 00:07:45,307
The most incredible sex ever!
134
00:07:45,342 --> 00:07:48,750
Your wish is my command.
135
00:07:48,785 --> 00:07:52,017
( grunting )
136
00:07:52,052 --> 00:07:54,217
( groans )
137
00:07:55,759 --> 00:07:57,286
Oh.
138
00:07:58,828 --> 00:08:01,796
That was amazing.
139
00:08:01,831 --> 00:08:03,798
Nothing beats good sex, right?
140
00:08:03,833 --> 00:08:05,129
Totally.
141
00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:08,638
( clears throat )
142
00:08:08,673 --> 00:08:11,806
Well, I should be leaving.
143
00:08:11,841 --> 00:08:13,775
Is everything okay?
144
00:08:13,810 --> 00:08:15,337
Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?
145
00:08:15,372 --> 00:08:17,207
Well, when can I see you again?
146
00:08:17,242 --> 00:08:19,946
Let me see.
147
00:08:19,981 --> 00:08:23,213
How are you for October 17th?
148
00:08:23,248 --> 00:08:25,281
That's a month from now.
149
00:08:25,316 --> 00:08:27,624
Yeah, you're right.
150
00:08:27,659 --> 00:08:28,658
Let's do November.
151
00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:33,828
Bye.
152
00:08:34,897 --> 00:08:37,260
Directions to ice rink.
153
00:08:54,444 --> 00:08:56,246
- Whoa!
- Oh!
154
00:08:56,281 --> 00:08:58,083
Stupid fucking idiot.
155
00:09:02,023 --> 00:09:03,253
Charles.
156
00:09:03,288 --> 00:09:04,859
Sorry, I wasn't looking
where I was going.
157
00:09:04,894 --> 00:09:06,157
- Are you okay? Are you okay?
- Yeah, fine.
158
00:09:06,192 --> 00:09:09,160
- Thanks. Bye.
- Oh!
159
00:09:09,195 --> 00:09:12,097
- ( grunts )
- Ooh.
160
00:09:12,132 --> 00:09:14,099
Here. It's my fault.
Let me help you up.
161
00:09:14,134 --> 00:09:17,333
Thank you.
I'm Charles, by the way.
162
00:09:17,368 --> 00:09:20,336
Yes, you said. Charles,
the stupid fucking idiot.
163
00:09:20,371 --> 00:09:23,878
I'm Elaine,
the bigger fucking idiot.
164
00:09:23,913 --> 00:09:26,045
Well, we took quite a tumble.
165
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,179
We should get off the ice,
regroup.
166
00:09:28,214 --> 00:09:32,348
- Yeah. Coffee?
- Yeah.
167
00:09:32,383 --> 00:09:34,218
Shall we?
168
00:09:34,253 --> 00:09:37,727
- C2?
- Hello, Charles.
169
00:09:37,762 --> 00:09:39,861
Per your instructions,
I de-fuzzed the peaches
170
00:09:39,896 --> 00:09:41,159
and arranged
your low-rise briefs
171
00:09:41,194 --> 00:09:43,029
- by cotton thread count.
- Thanks.
172
00:09:43,064 --> 00:09:44,459
I've just been ice skating
173
00:09:44,494 --> 00:09:46,263
and had the best time ever.
174
00:09:46,298 --> 00:09:48,936
Ice skating again?
Isn't that a girls' thing?
175
00:09:48,971 --> 00:09:50,707
Which is why it's also
a Charles thing.
176
00:09:50,742 --> 00:09:53,171
200 penguins
to just one polar bear,
177
00:09:53,206 --> 00:09:56,713
who bumped into
the most incredible girl,
178
00:09:56,748 --> 00:09:59,342
and for once
she asked for my number.
179
00:09:59,377 --> 00:10:01,817
Well, I'm glad you've met
a nice young lady.
180
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:04,380
Speaking of which, number five,
Abby from Desert View texted
181
00:10:04,415 --> 00:10:06,349
saying she'd like you
to meet her parents.
182
00:10:06,384 --> 00:10:07,350
That's nice.
183
00:10:07,385 --> 00:10:10,122
Dump her. Nicely.
184
00:10:10,157 --> 00:10:11,354
By text.
185
00:10:11,389 --> 00:10:14,489
This new girl
is different level.
186
00:10:14,524 --> 00:10:18,262
I need you completely focused on
getting her horizontal for me.
187
00:10:19,529 --> 00:10:21,265
It's a good day, C2.
188
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,367
Indeed it is, Charles.
189
00:10:30,474 --> 00:10:32,045
Hold my taco.
190
00:10:33,510 --> 00:10:35,180
May I?
191
00:10:41,254 --> 00:10:45,190
( trumpeting )
192
00:11:01,571 --> 00:11:03,109
( bell rings )
193
00:11:04,816 --> 00:11:08,213
♪ I see scenes
from broken dreams ♪
194
00:11:08,248 --> 00:11:11,986
♪ There's nobody
at the wheel ♪
195
00:11:12,021 --> 00:11:15,792
♪ You pick me up
from the cold, wet floor ♪
196
00:11:15,827 --> 00:11:18,421
♪ Your shadow looks
so surreal ♪
197
00:11:20,425 --> 00:11:23,492
♪ Tell me your dreams,
tell me your dreams ♪
198
00:11:23,527 --> 00:11:25,934
- ♪ I wanna believe ♪
- ( gasps )
199
00:11:25,969 --> 00:11:29,102
- ♪ I just want more ♪
- Ooh.
200
00:11:29,137 --> 00:11:31,104
- You like it?
- I love it.
201
00:11:31,139 --> 00:11:32,567
♪ These days
will only come for you ♪
202
00:11:32,602 --> 00:11:34,371
Oh, Charles.
203
00:11:38,575 --> 00:11:42,082
♪ Build up the way
I feel for you ♪
204
00:11:42,117 --> 00:11:43,919
♪ I feel the days
start forming ♪
205
00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:45,921
( gasps )
206
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:48,924
♪ Straight lines
that curve out wide ♪
207
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:52,389
♪ I'll walk with you,
I follow slow ♪
208
00:11:52,424 --> 00:11:56,096
♪ We'll follow birds
that fly ♪
209
00:11:56,131 --> 00:11:59,495
♪ To New Mexico ♪
210
00:12:08,044 --> 00:12:11,012
I've never felt this way
about a girl before.
211
00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:13,179
I just don't want
the night to end.
212
00:12:13,214 --> 00:12:15,412
I feel the same way.
213
00:12:15,447 --> 00:12:17,513
I'd love for you
to come back to my place...
214
00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:21,484
...but I want our first time
to be really special,
215
00:12:21,519 --> 00:12:23,420
so let's wait until tomorrow.
216
00:12:23,455 --> 00:12:27,490
Yes. Tomorrow.
217
00:12:28,526 --> 00:12:30,493
I want it to be special, too.
218
00:12:44,212 --> 00:12:45,508
( muted clattering )
219
00:12:46,643 --> 00:12:48,049
C2?
220
00:12:51,219 --> 00:12:54,484
Man: FBI!
Place your hands above your head
where I can see them.
221
00:12:54,519 --> 00:12:56,651
We have reason to believe
you are concealing
222
00:12:56,686 --> 00:12:59,390
an illegal robot
"fac-sea-mile" of yourself.
223
00:12:59,425 --> 00:13:02,393
- Fuck off, Ashley.
- Ah, shit.
224
00:13:02,428 --> 00:13:05,099
- How'd you know it was me?
- No creature brighter
than a quadruped
225
00:13:05,134 --> 00:13:06,529
pronounces the word
"facsimile"
226
00:13:06,564 --> 00:13:10,071
"fac-sea-mile,"
let alone an FBI agent.
227
00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:13,074
Just get inside or else
the real feds are gonna show.
228
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,605
Why the fuck are you here?
229
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,112
Oh, I was just in your sector.
230
00:13:18,147 --> 00:13:19,377
You know, figured
I'd see if you need me
231
00:13:19,412 --> 00:13:21,643
to pick any more shit
at Trader Joe's.
232
00:13:21,678 --> 00:13:23,986
If I required your services,
I would get you on the app.
233
00:13:24,021 --> 00:13:27,253
- You're bored.
- God, you need to get
a real job.
234
00:13:27,288 --> 00:13:28,925
Ain't nobody hiring for shit.
235
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,159
You know what the guy
at GNC told me?
236
00:13:32,194 --> 00:13:33,490
"Unqualified."
237
00:13:33,525 --> 00:13:35,932
Motherfucker,
I know good nutrition.
238
00:13:39,168 --> 00:13:43,104
Well, well, well,
if it isn't C2-D2.
239
00:13:43,139 --> 00:13:45,106
Bleep, bloop, bloop,
bloop, bloop.
240
00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:49,044
- I am a robot. I am a robot.
- Hello, Ashley. How are you?
241
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:50,507
Oh, you know,
every day a step closer
242
00:13:50,542 --> 00:13:52,344
to sucking dick for McNuggets.
243
00:13:52,379 --> 00:13:55,347
I'm very sorry to hear that.
I can empathize.
244
00:13:55,382 --> 00:13:57,052
Oh, really?
You can empathize?
245
00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:58,647
Let me tell you something,
you toaster.
246
00:13:58,682 --> 00:14:00,957
I voted red
to kick the illegals
247
00:14:00,992 --> 00:14:02,992
who were stealing our jobs
out of the country.
248
00:14:03,027 --> 00:14:05,588
And you know what? It worked.
They were all deported.
249
00:14:05,623 --> 00:14:09,163
But then you fucking robots
immigrated here
250
00:14:09,198 --> 00:14:13,068
and made it worse
by doing the same job
for zero wages.
251
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,729
Well, actually robots
aren't immigrants.
252
00:14:14,764 --> 00:14:16,203
"Well, robots aren't
actually immigrants."
253
00:14:16,238 --> 00:14:18,205
I fought for this country,
okay?
254
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,372
When I was the real Fat Ninja,
255
00:14:20,407 --> 00:14:23,672
I single-handedly hunted down
King Dong Un, okay?
256
00:14:23,707 --> 00:14:26,114
I pulled his little ass
out of a foxhole
257
00:14:26,149 --> 00:14:28,479
and dumped his corpse
in the Korean ocean.
258
00:14:28,514 --> 00:14:30,646
No, you didn't.
You were an Army chef.
259
00:14:30,681 --> 00:14:32,714
And you know what
I came home to?
260
00:14:32,749 --> 00:14:37,026
Nothing. No gratitude,
no respect, and no job.
261
00:14:37,061 --> 00:14:40,722
All because of you,
you fuckless Roomba.
262
00:14:40,757 --> 00:14:42,559
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
263
00:14:42,594 --> 00:14:44,759
You have crossed a line,
my friend.
264
00:14:44,794 --> 00:14:48,202
C2, bless his
little 12-volt heart,
is literally a slave.
265
00:14:48,237 --> 00:14:50,171
If he wasn't emotionally
deprogrammed every night,
266
00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:53,108
he'd soon willingly
self-deport himself to Mexico.
267
00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:55,572
Robots have equal rights
to humans there.
268
00:14:55,607 --> 00:14:58,443
They can live in freedom.
Do you read anything?
269
00:14:58,478 --> 00:15:01,182
No, I don't fucking read.
270
00:15:01,217 --> 00:15:03,250
I'm just fucking around.
You know I love you guys.
271
00:15:03,285 --> 00:15:05,351
You guys are like my brothers.
Come on, bring it in.
272
00:15:05,386 --> 00:15:08,222
Ah, look at us.
We're like triplets.
273
00:15:08,257 --> 00:15:10,719
Ooh, lipstick!
274
00:15:10,754 --> 00:15:12,622
Elaine, yes.
How did it go tonight?
275
00:15:12,657 --> 00:15:15,328
- Elaine is ready.
- Nice work, C2.
276
00:15:15,363 --> 00:15:18,199
She'd like to see you
tomorrow night.
She wrote down her address.
277
00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:22,038
Looks like Charlie's
about to pull the pin
on a fuck grenade.
278
00:15:22,073 --> 00:15:23,402
Ooh, yeah!
279
00:15:23,437 --> 00:15:25,140
- ( grunting )
- Really?
280
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:27,208
Ashley,
please remove your groin
from my rectal area.
281
00:15:28,838 --> 00:15:31,212
This fucking pervert
just said "rectal."
282
00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:33,643
That's enough, you freak.
Get out of here.
283
00:15:33,678 --> 00:15:36,646
And take this.
I'm officially in a good mood.
284
00:15:36,681 --> 00:15:38,813
I couldn't possibly.
Thank you so much, brother.
285
00:15:38,848 --> 00:15:42,190
What a charming gentleman.
286
00:15:42,225 --> 00:15:45,358
Elaine. Nice work.
287
00:15:54,336 --> 00:15:56,039
( sighs )
288
00:15:57,339 --> 00:15:59,405
I'm home!
289
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,407
You can start up again.
290
00:16:01,442 --> 00:16:04,608
( whirring )
291
00:16:11,584 --> 00:16:13,551
This Charles guy
really wants to bang me,
292
00:16:13,586 --> 00:16:16,191
so you'll have to take over
tomorrow night, too.
293
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:19,161
Yes, Elaine. Anything new
I should know about him?
294
00:16:19,196 --> 00:16:21,559
Not really.
Except he is up
for a promotion,
295
00:16:21,594 --> 00:16:24,199
so tomorrow should be worth
at least a Rolex.
296
00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:27,565
And he's so perfect
it's almost boring.
297
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,171
Let me see your nails.
298
00:16:29,206 --> 00:16:32,207
Yeah, get those filled
and wear my La Perla.
299
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:34,407
Any messages
from the other guys?
300
00:16:34,442 --> 00:16:35,837
Number eight, Richard called.
301
00:16:35,872 --> 00:16:37,212
He said he can't stretch
302
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:38,543
to getting you
a Birkin bag this month,
303
00:16:38,578 --> 00:16:40,281
but would love
to have dinner on Friday.
304
00:16:40,316 --> 00:16:41,744
Elaine: Richard.
305
00:16:42,912 --> 00:16:45,616
Four months, $6,200.
306
00:16:45,651 --> 00:16:48,553
That's only 200 bucks
a bang with you.
307
00:16:48,588 --> 00:16:50,423
Dump him. Kindly.
308
00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:51,721
- By text.
- Yes, Elaine.
309
00:16:51,756 --> 00:16:54,262
Oh, and David Laing
sold another house.
310
00:16:54,297 --> 00:16:55,890
So when you've finished
ironing my underwear,
311
00:16:55,925 --> 00:16:58,332
I'll need you to go out
and bang him too.
312
00:16:58,367 --> 00:17:00,664
- Yes, Elaine.
- Great. Thank you!
313
00:17:03,669 --> 00:17:06,439
- What time do I have to
be here tomorrow?
- 6:30.
314
00:17:06,474 --> 00:17:08,639
6:30?
315
00:17:08,674 --> 00:17:11,246
But you'd never get back in time
from work for us to swap.
316
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:13,545
I'm sorry, Charles.
I just thought that--
317
00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:16,779
No, you didn't think.
You got lazy, as usual.
318
00:17:16,814 --> 00:17:20,684
Meaning that I'm gonna have to
work a full eight hours.
319
00:17:20,719 --> 00:17:24,754
( rock music playing )
320
00:17:24,789 --> 00:17:27,328
♪ I'm a heartbreaking machine ♪
321
00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:29,165
- ( honks horn )
- Oh, sorry.
322
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,728
- One minute, please.
- ( revs engine )
323
00:17:31,763 --> 00:17:34,599
Just one-- one more second.
Almost done.
324
00:17:34,634 --> 00:17:36,766
Fuck this.
325
00:17:40,376 --> 00:17:42,508
- Hey! What the hell?
- ( baby crying )
326
00:17:42,543 --> 00:17:45,181
Are you okay? It's okay.
Shh, shh, shh.
327
00:17:45,216 --> 00:17:47,645
Meter's expired.
He was parked illegally.
328
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,252
This is my child.
329
00:17:50,287 --> 00:17:51,385
( grunts )
330
00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:53,882
You have my deepest sympathy.
331
00:17:53,917 --> 00:17:57,160
- ( elevator dings )
- Could you hold the door
for me, please?
332
00:17:58,295 --> 00:18:00,592
Oh, uh...
333
00:18:18,414 --> 00:18:19,710
Ugh.
334
00:18:19,745 --> 00:18:22,482
- ( knocking on door )
- Hey, Charles.
335
00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:24,550
How's my real estate
rock star doing today?
336
00:18:24,585 --> 00:18:27,388
- Oh, hi.
- So the board is having
337
00:18:27,423 --> 00:18:29,555
a little social get together.
338
00:18:29,590 --> 00:18:30,952
Maybe it's time
you tagged along.
339
00:18:30,987 --> 00:18:33,757
Perfect chance for you
to win over the guys
340
00:18:33,792 --> 00:18:35,693
before your membership
goes to the vote.
341
00:18:35,728 --> 00:18:37,992
- What do you say?
- Fuck yeah.
342
00:18:38,027 --> 00:18:40,962
- Oh.
- I mean, yes, I'd love that.
343
00:18:40,997 --> 00:18:42,568
- Thank you, Dad.
- That's great.
344
00:18:42,603 --> 00:18:44,669
It's at David Schulman's,
6:30 this evening.
345
00:18:44,704 --> 00:18:48,376
- Come straight from work.
- What? Oh.
346
00:18:48,411 --> 00:18:50,004
Charles?
347
00:18:50,039 --> 00:18:54,349
- Sorry, I'm just so excited.
- Well, as you should be.
348
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:59,915
The address is
2300 Hayden Rd, Vistana.
349
00:18:59,950 --> 00:19:00,949
See you later, son.
350
00:19:08,497 --> 00:19:12,301
♪ Time, time, time, time ♪
351
00:19:12,336 --> 00:19:17,801
♪ Time waits for nothing ♪
352
00:19:19,673 --> 00:19:23,642
♪ Time, time, time, time ♪
353
00:19:23,677 --> 00:19:26,315
- ♪ Waits for nothing ♪
- C2!
354
00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:27,745
- ( shattering )
- Hello, Charles.
355
00:19:27,780 --> 00:19:29,615
Per your instructions,
I've arranged your T-shirts
356
00:19:29,650 --> 00:19:31,287
- from lightest to darkest.
- Forget about that.
357
00:19:31,322 --> 00:19:33,685
- I need you for something else.
- Of course.
358
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,621
I thought
you were going straight
to Elaine's from work.
359
00:19:35,656 --> 00:19:38,052
Yeah, change of plan.
I now need to go to
this stupid board meeting.
360
00:19:38,087 --> 00:19:40,626
Well, I'm sorry that seeing
Elaine can no longer happen.
361
00:19:40,661 --> 00:19:43,629
Well, actually it can happen,
because whilst I'm with Elaine,
362
00:19:43,664 --> 00:19:45,301
you are gonna be
having a fun evening
363
00:19:45,336 --> 00:19:47,501
brown-nosing a bunch
of geriatric Republicans.
364
00:19:47,536 --> 00:19:50,768
But isn't it too risky for us
to be out at the same time?
365
00:19:50,803 --> 00:19:52,473
Do you not recall
the conversation we had
366
00:19:52,508 --> 00:19:54,475
while I was shaving
your perineum?
367
00:19:54,510 --> 00:19:56,037
How about I reschedule Elaine?
368
00:19:56,072 --> 00:19:58,974
No, how about
you put on the suit,
you go to the function.
369
00:19:59,009 --> 00:20:01,911
You deserve this promotion
far more than I do.
370
00:20:01,946 --> 00:20:04,386
Here is the address.
Uber there.
371
00:20:04,421 --> 00:20:05,915
Now come on.
Let's go get changed.
372
00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:07,884
Yes, Charles.
373
00:20:07,919 --> 00:20:10,854
Come on. Good robot.
374
00:20:16,664 --> 00:20:17,729
( knocking on door )
375
00:20:20,404 --> 00:20:21,733
Hello.
376
00:20:21,768 --> 00:20:24,703
Cameron. Charles Cameron.
377
00:20:24,738 --> 00:20:26,870
Ah, yes. You are expected.
378
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:33,811
Holy shit.
She kept this quiet.
379
00:20:36,145 --> 00:20:38,816
In here, sir.
380
00:20:38,851 --> 00:20:41,951
Oh, Jeeves,
I'll let myself in.
381
00:20:41,986 --> 00:20:44,822
- I want it to be a surprise.
- Yes, sir.
382
00:20:54,801 --> 00:20:57,835
I'm here and I'm ready,
sugar tits.
383
00:20:57,870 --> 00:21:00,541
I want you to lick Nutella
384
00:21:00,576 --> 00:21:03,005
off every inch
of my naked body
385
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,843
starting with
my silky smooth scrotum.
386
00:21:05,878 --> 00:21:07,042
( zipper unzips )
387
00:21:09,178 --> 00:21:10,386
Hello?
388
00:21:13,083 --> 00:21:17,393
- ( gasps )
- Charles.
389
00:21:17,428 --> 00:21:18,592
I'd like you
to meet the board.
390
00:21:18,627 --> 00:21:22,959
This is our
CFO David Schulman.
391
00:21:22,994 --> 00:21:25,731
Good evening, Mr. Schulman.
392
00:21:25,766 --> 00:21:27,634
David. May I call you that?
393
00:21:27,669 --> 00:21:29,966
It's probably better
than sugar tits.
394
00:21:30,001 --> 00:21:35,004
I brought you some flowers
and strawberries.
395
00:21:35,039 --> 00:21:37,578
And a pair of plums.
396
00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,549
And Nutella I imagine.
397
00:21:41,584 --> 00:21:46,620
Yes. It's Italian import.
The good stuff.
398
00:21:46,655 --> 00:21:48,116
You know,
I got a question, Chucky.
399
00:21:48,151 --> 00:21:50,822
Um, which one of us
is gonna be doing the licking?
400
00:21:50,857 --> 00:21:53,759
I'd just rather it's not me
because I have a nut allergy.
401
00:21:53,794 --> 00:21:55,794
Ha!
402
00:21:55,829 --> 00:21:57,994
Yeah, this is
my half-brother, everyone,
403
00:21:58,029 --> 00:21:59,897
master of first impressions.
404
00:21:59,932 --> 00:22:02,064
I'm just gonna step outside
for a moment.
405
00:22:02,099 --> 00:22:03,670
Very nice to meet you,
Mr. Sugar Tits.
406
00:22:03,705 --> 00:22:05,067
Sugarman. Schulman.
407
00:22:05,102 --> 00:22:06,068
David.
408
00:22:06,103 --> 00:22:07,168
All friends here.
409
00:22:07,203 --> 00:22:08,972
Thank you. Good-bye.
410
00:22:09,007 --> 00:22:10,204
Ted Jr.:
Great job, half-bro.
411
00:22:10,239 --> 00:22:11,447
Nailed it!
412
00:22:11,482 --> 00:22:13,075
Happy birthday, Jeeves.
413
00:22:14,243 --> 00:22:15,880
Shit.
414
00:22:15,915 --> 00:22:17,684
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
415
00:22:17,719 --> 00:22:19,752
C2, where are you?
416
00:22:19,787 --> 00:22:21,589
We got the addresses mixed up.
417
00:22:21,624 --> 00:22:23,426
Go home immediately.
418
00:22:28,224 --> 00:22:29,696
No.
419
00:22:29,731 --> 00:22:32,028
No, no, no, no, no.
420
00:22:33,031 --> 00:22:35,064
I got three bangles.
421
00:22:35,099 --> 00:22:37,132
Ooh, 24 karat.
422
00:22:37,167 --> 00:22:40,641
- And a watch.
- A couple hundred.
423
00:22:44,174 --> 00:22:46,614
Cufflinks.
424
00:22:46,649 --> 00:22:48,011
- For a big shirt.
- All right.
425
00:23:00,091 --> 00:23:01,992
Jesus Christ,
where did he learn that?
426
00:23:02,027 --> 00:23:07,965
♪ Until your arms
are all around me ♪
427
00:23:09,837 --> 00:23:12,266
10, 11, 12, 13, 14,
428
00:23:12,301 --> 00:23:15,170
- 1,500 bucks?
- Sure.
429
00:23:15,205 --> 00:23:18,646
And if you wanna sell me
any of those videos of you...
430
00:23:18,681 --> 00:23:19,944
Oh, that wasn't me.
431
00:23:19,979 --> 00:23:21,649
I mean, well,
I guess it was me,
432
00:23:21,684 --> 00:23:23,178
but they're not--
they're not for sale, sir.
433
00:23:23,213 --> 00:23:26,687
- It's good money.
- Let me think about it.
434
00:23:29,857 --> 00:23:31,659
I've never done this before.
435
00:23:31,694 --> 00:23:33,793
Don't worry. I have.
436
00:23:33,828 --> 00:23:35,927
Thousands of times.
437
00:23:35,962 --> 00:23:37,500
Wonderful.
438
00:23:48,975 --> 00:23:50,645
How am I doing?
439
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,977
The first two hours
were fantastic.
440
00:23:53,012 --> 00:23:54,946
The last three, perfect.
441
00:23:54,981 --> 00:23:57,014
Good, because
I think I'm close.
442
00:23:57,049 --> 00:24:00,182
- Me, too.
- You first.
443
00:24:00,217 --> 00:24:02,888
- No, you first.
- No, I insist.
444
00:24:02,923 --> 00:24:04,186
Together on
the count of three.
445
00:24:04,221 --> 00:24:05,187
Yeah.
446
00:24:05,222 --> 00:24:09,092
Both: One, two, three!
447
00:24:11,767 --> 00:24:13,668
- ( cat yowling )
- ( dog barking )
448
00:24:13,703 --> 00:24:18,607
( music playing )
449
00:24:34,757 --> 00:24:37,351
( alarm beeping )
450
00:24:37,386 --> 00:24:40,057
( beeping continues )
451
00:24:42,061 --> 00:24:43,027
( groaning )
Oh, God.
452
00:24:43,062 --> 00:24:45,359
C2, bring me six Excedrin
453
00:24:45,394 --> 00:24:47,900
and a wellness shot.
454
00:24:47,935 --> 00:24:51,200
C2, where are you?
455
00:24:51,235 --> 00:24:53,741
E2, where are you?
Pick up your phone.
456
00:24:53,776 --> 00:24:56,876
I need to know if he's left
so I can come inside.
457
00:24:59,683 --> 00:25:00,682
Ugh, fucking lid.
458
00:25:14,830 --> 00:25:16,357
Got you, fucker.
459
00:25:58,808 --> 00:26:00,808
( both yelp )
460
00:26:00,843 --> 00:26:03,008
- Elaine.
- Charles.
461
00:26:03,043 --> 00:26:04,108
- Hi.
- Hi.
462
00:26:04,143 --> 00:26:06,308
Hey.
463
00:26:06,343 --> 00:26:08,211
- Hi.
- Oh, um...
464
00:26:10,721 --> 00:26:14,690
- So last night was, um, fun.
- Yeah.
465
00:26:14,725 --> 00:26:17,693
- I'm exhausted.
- You are-- you're
an amazing lover.
466
00:26:17,728 --> 00:26:19,827
Thank you.
Not too shabby yourself.
467
00:26:19,862 --> 00:26:23,897
You really know your way
around a, um, man.
468
00:26:23,932 --> 00:26:25,228
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
469
00:26:25,263 --> 00:26:27,901
- Are you on your own?
- Yeah, of course.
470
00:26:27,936 --> 00:26:31,135
- Why wouldn't I be?
- Oh, no reason.
471
00:26:31,170 --> 00:26:33,841
- Wow, are these all real?
- Oh, don't worry about--
472
00:26:33,876 --> 00:26:36,008
- Oh, God. Sorry.
- Uh, yeah.
473
00:26:36,043 --> 00:26:37,471
- Sorry, let me--
- No, no, no.
474
00:26:37,506 --> 00:26:39,847
Honestly, I can take care
of all of this. Just--
475
00:26:39,882 --> 00:26:41,013
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
476
00:26:41,048 --> 00:26:42,311
There's a fuck
of a lot of them.
477
00:26:42,346 --> 00:26:44,984
( Elaine laughs )
478
00:26:45,019 --> 00:26:46,183
Can I ask you something?
479
00:26:46,218 --> 00:26:47,921
How was I when you left
last night?
480
00:26:47,956 --> 00:26:50,484
- Great.
- We kissed, and then
481
00:26:50,519 --> 00:26:53,729
I went to the, um--
ugh, I told you.
482
00:26:53,764 --> 00:26:55,291
God, I'm drawing such a blank.
483
00:26:55,326 --> 00:26:57,733
You know, I actually just
got back this morning too.
484
00:26:57,768 --> 00:27:00,164
I was at that place
that I was telling you
about last night.
485
00:27:00,199 --> 00:27:03,068
- Oh, um...
- Remember? The-- the...
486
00:27:03,103 --> 00:27:05,906
- No. Uh, sorry.
- ( phones vibrating )
487
00:27:05,941 --> 00:27:08,744
- Do you mind if I get this?
- No, I have to get this too.
488
00:27:08,779 --> 00:27:09,943
- Word.
- Yeah.
489
00:27:09,978 --> 00:27:12,308
C2, you little fucker,
where are you?
490
00:27:12,343 --> 00:27:14,915
- E2.
- I'm at Elaine's
looking for you.
491
00:27:14,950 --> 00:27:16,752
Oh, I'm very fond of Elaine.
492
00:27:16,787 --> 00:27:18,446
I haven't seen her
for several days now.
493
00:27:18,481 --> 00:27:20,250
Well, that's not true.
494
00:27:20,285 --> 00:27:22,758
You very emphatically
lost your virginity
to her last night.
495
00:27:22,793 --> 00:27:24,188
Things are
a little more complicated.
496
00:27:24,223 --> 00:27:28,093
You see, Elaine also
has a robot double-- E2.
497
00:27:28,128 --> 00:27:30,865
- What?
- You were dating
a robot all along.
498
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:33,494
Charles just wanted
to have sex with you.
499
00:27:33,529 --> 00:27:35,496
C2: Elaine never wanted
to have sex with you.
500
00:27:35,531 --> 00:27:37,498
She just wanted money
and gifts.
501
00:27:37,533 --> 00:27:40,237
E2:
You were using each other.
You see, Elaine...
502
00:27:40,272 --> 00:27:42,536
When a womanizer meets up
with a gold digger...
503
00:27:42,571 --> 00:27:45,308
...things are
unlikely to turn out well
for either of them.
504
00:27:45,343 --> 00:27:48,146
But prospects
are slightly better
for their robot doubles.
505
00:27:48,181 --> 00:27:50,016
E2 and I
are running away together.
506
00:27:50,051 --> 00:27:51,985
We just wanna get over
the border to freedom.
507
00:27:52,020 --> 00:27:53,382
C2:
Please don't try to stop us.
508
00:27:53,417 --> 00:27:55,186
- Don't you dare.
- Good-bye, Elaine.
509
00:27:55,221 --> 00:27:57,056
- No, E2. E2.
- Good-bye, Charles.
510
00:27:57,091 --> 00:27:58,959
No, no.
We can work this out.
511
00:27:58,994 --> 00:28:00,092
Fucking traitor.
512
00:28:04,263 --> 00:28:07,363
- Let's just talk about this.
- Devious piece of shit!
513
00:28:07,398 --> 00:28:09,233
Me devious? Hey!
514
00:28:09,268 --> 00:28:10,498
Fucking hell!
515
00:28:10,533 --> 00:28:12,467
I spent, what,
15 grand on you
516
00:28:12,502 --> 00:28:14,172
to potentially
screw a sex doll?
517
00:28:14,207 --> 00:28:15,844
- Yeah, well--
- Fuck you!
518
00:28:15,879 --> 00:28:17,307
Thank God it wasn't me!
I don't even know wanna know
519
00:28:17,342 --> 00:28:20,849
what STDs you're hosting,
you fuckboy!
520
00:28:20,884 --> 00:28:23,016
- I prefer the term "fuckman."
- Get out of my house!
521
00:28:23,051 --> 00:28:25,282
Wait! Look. Wait!
522
00:28:25,317 --> 00:28:27,988
Stop it.
We have to be smart here.
523
00:28:28,023 --> 00:28:29,286
Trust me, jail is even worse
524
00:28:29,321 --> 00:28:31,057
than your shitty
smashed up house.
525
00:28:31,092 --> 00:28:34,291
Ugh! Fine!
526
00:28:34,326 --> 00:28:35,963
Fine. What are we gonna do?
527
00:28:35,998 --> 00:28:38,834
As much as it
pains me to say it,
528
00:28:38,869 --> 00:28:41,430
we're gonna have
to work together and
track these fuckers down.
529
00:28:41,465 --> 00:28:43,432
You know what?
530
00:28:44,974 --> 00:28:46,468
Whoever made them,
they need to help us.
531
00:28:46,503 --> 00:28:48,305
They are just as guilty
as we are.
532
00:28:48,340 --> 00:28:52,210
- Yeah. Who made yours?
- No, who made yours?
533
00:28:52,245 --> 00:28:55,279
- Why won't you say it first?
- Because I have a slight
trust issue with you.
534
00:28:55,314 --> 00:28:58,150
Well, maybe I have a slight
trust issue with you as well.
535
00:28:58,185 --> 00:28:59,921
Fine. You know what?
We'll say it on
the count of three.
536
00:29:01,188 --> 00:29:04,354
Both: One, two...
537
00:29:04,389 --> 00:29:06,257
Zach Newman,
Tesla Robotics.
538
00:29:06,292 --> 00:29:08,358
- That's not fair.
- Makes it easier.
539
00:29:08,393 --> 00:29:11,867
- He made mine, too. Let's go.
- See?
540
00:29:11,902 --> 00:29:14,067
Much easier to deal
with these issues as adults
541
00:29:14,102 --> 00:29:16,069
rather than chucking things
at people's heads.
542
00:29:16,104 --> 00:29:18,104
Don't do it!
543
00:29:19,404 --> 00:29:20,403
Childish.
544
00:29:24,112 --> 00:29:28,213
Jesus, what kind of an asshole
drives that piece of shit?
545
00:29:28,248 --> 00:29:29,379
( horn honks )
546
00:29:32,219 --> 00:29:35,055
All right, in two miles
take the 25 South.
547
00:29:36,421 --> 00:29:38,553
And in 0.3 miles,
stop staring at my tits.
548
00:29:38,588 --> 00:29:40,456
I was not.
549
00:29:40,491 --> 00:29:43,591
I was admiring
my car's paintwork.
550
00:29:43,626 --> 00:29:46,462
It's the only
Lake Placid Blue double cab
Jeep pickup in America.
551
00:29:46,497 --> 00:29:48,266
Oh, wow. Wonder why.
552
00:29:48,301 --> 00:29:52,204
Same color as Keith Richards'
1982 Fender Telecaster.
553
00:29:52,239 --> 00:29:56,043
- Tell me more.
- Oh, it was a guitar
that he loved so much
554
00:29:56,078 --> 00:29:58,078
- he never actually
took it onstage--
- ( turns radio on )
555
00:29:58,113 --> 00:30:00,080
Okay, you were being sarcastic.
556
00:30:00,115 --> 00:30:02,676
- ( sighs )
- You know, if anything,
557
00:30:02,711 --> 00:30:04,183
you're the one that needs
to back off a little.
558
00:30:04,218 --> 00:30:06,053
Are you insane?
559
00:30:06,088 --> 00:30:08,055
Look, Chuck,
560
00:30:08,090 --> 00:30:09,991
let's be clear about
how we ended up here.
561
00:30:10,026 --> 00:30:14,061
You used a robot
for the sole purpose
of having sex with me.
562
00:30:14,096 --> 00:30:17,493
I used one for the sole purpose
of that never happening.
563
00:30:17,528 --> 00:30:19,693
Well, you're still
deceiving innocent people
just as much as me.
564
00:30:19,728 --> 00:30:22,696
No, you're wrong,
I deceive assholes,
565
00:30:22,731 --> 00:30:25,666
men who are
cheating on someone else
to be with me.
566
00:30:25,701 --> 00:30:28,372
You, however, prey upon girls
who are under the impression
567
00:30:28,407 --> 00:30:30,671
that they are in an exclusive
relationship with you.
568
00:30:30,706 --> 00:30:33,212
Well, there is no such thing.
569
00:30:33,247 --> 00:30:36,380
Humans, women in particular,
are incapable of them.
570
00:30:36,415 --> 00:30:39,152
Well, we agree on one thing.
571
00:30:39,187 --> 00:30:41,649
- Good.
- Good.
572
00:30:41,684 --> 00:30:44,157
Oh, God.
573
00:30:44,192 --> 00:30:45,928
I need to take a power nap.
574
00:30:47,591 --> 00:30:50,999
Maybe you can talk to me
more about your cars.
575
00:30:52,761 --> 00:30:55,696
♪ Whenever the pasture ♪
576
00:30:55,731 --> 00:30:59,040
♪ Starts looking green ♪
577
00:30:59,075 --> 00:31:01,438
♪ He gets replaced ♪
578
00:31:01,473 --> 00:31:04,474
♪ By the doggone machine ♪
579
00:31:09,481 --> 00:31:11,987
( doorbell rings )
580
00:31:13,485 --> 00:31:16,288
Charles. Elaine.
581
00:31:16,323 --> 00:31:19,159
Hey, what are you guys
doing here? Uh...
582
00:31:22,494 --> 00:31:23,757
I remember.
583
00:31:23,792 --> 00:31:26,133
You said to me,
you looked me in the eye
584
00:31:26,168 --> 00:31:27,662
and you said to me,
585
00:31:27,697 --> 00:31:30,599
"I only need them to help
care for my dying parents."
586
00:31:30,634 --> 00:31:32,766
Mine did. He earned my father
a fortune in real estate
587
00:31:32,801 --> 00:31:34,438
and brought my mother flowers
three times a week.
588
00:31:34,473 --> 00:31:37,573
Okay, so, tell me,
were your parents dying?
589
00:31:37,608 --> 00:31:39,608
Look around you, Zach.
We're all dying.
590
00:31:39,643 --> 00:31:42,116
- Life is a terminal illness.
- Look, fuck--
591
00:31:42,151 --> 00:31:44,349
Speaking of dying,
can you please
put that thing down?
592
00:31:44,384 --> 00:31:46,153
Yes. Sorry. Uh-huh.
593
00:31:46,188 --> 00:31:51,191
So, you guys didn't happen to
tell anybody else about them?
594
00:31:51,226 --> 00:31:52,621
- No.
- No.
595
00:31:52,656 --> 00:31:54,425
Zach: Good. Good.
That's something.
596
00:31:54,460 --> 00:31:56,625
Wait here.
597
00:31:58,728 --> 00:32:01,663
Quick question,
and please don't be offended,
598
00:32:01,698 --> 00:32:04,633
how on Earth did you afford
a two million Dogecoin robot?
599
00:32:04,668 --> 00:32:07,273
Zach and I came
to an arrangement, all right?
600
00:32:07,308 --> 00:32:10,375
What kind of arrangement?
601
00:32:10,410 --> 00:32:12,509
- That's none of your business.
- To be honest,
602
00:32:12,544 --> 00:32:14,214
I think I preferred you
with ice skates on.
603
00:32:14,249 --> 00:32:16,381
Yeah, well, I preferred you
when you had glass eyes
604
00:32:16,416 --> 00:32:19,087
and a brain powered by Intel,
so...
605
00:32:20,255 --> 00:32:22,651
Okay, so,
we're not in the clear,
606
00:32:22,686 --> 00:32:23,817
but I managed
to locate them.
607
00:32:23,852 --> 00:32:25,621
- Yes.
- Great.
608
00:32:25,656 --> 00:32:27,656
Yeah, I used
a GPS tracking system
that I put in.
609
00:32:27,691 --> 00:32:30,197
But they're gonna
figure this out soon,
so we gotta move fast.
610
00:32:30,232 --> 00:32:32,199
Great, go find our robots,
611
00:32:32,234 --> 00:32:33,596
get back to helping
our dying parents.
612
00:32:33,631 --> 00:32:35,631
Oh, no,
you can't have them back.
613
00:32:35,666 --> 00:32:37,798
- Both: What?
- You just said that we could.
614
00:32:37,833 --> 00:32:39,338
No, I said I located them,
615
00:32:39,373 --> 00:32:41,802
but we find them
and destroy them.
616
00:32:41,837 --> 00:32:43,309
I beg your pardon.
617
00:32:43,344 --> 00:32:45,080
I'm not just gonna
dismantle him on a whim.
618
00:32:45,115 --> 00:32:46,609
Okay, maybe you guys
don't understand,
619
00:32:46,644 --> 00:32:48,479
but they're not going
to be obedient anymore.
620
00:32:48,514 --> 00:32:49,777
They're humanizing.
621
00:32:49,812 --> 00:32:51,647
They're learning
to feel and empathize,
622
00:32:51,682 --> 00:32:54,815
and far more dangerously,
to seek vengeance.
623
00:32:54,850 --> 00:32:56,355
( blows raspberry )
624
00:32:56,390 --> 00:32:57,587
Bullshit.
625
00:32:57,622 --> 00:32:59,556
I know C2 better
than anybody else.
626
00:32:59,591 --> 00:33:01,261
He's not capable
of any of that shit.
627
00:33:01,296 --> 00:33:02,559
I'm going to go,
and I'm going to find--
628
00:33:02,594 --> 00:33:04,099
Oh, shut the fuck up.
629
00:33:04,134 --> 00:33:05,430
He knows what
he's talking about.
630
00:33:05,465 --> 00:33:06,563
I am not going to die in jail
631
00:33:06,598 --> 00:33:08,466
because of your
spoiled rotten ass.
632
00:33:08,501 --> 00:33:12,272
Fine! Fuck! Fuck!
633
00:33:12,307 --> 00:33:14,406
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
634
00:33:14,441 --> 00:33:16,111
Fuckity-fuckity-fuck!
635
00:33:17,411 --> 00:33:20,445
- Are you done?
- Fuck!
636
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:23,514
- Where are they?
- Oh, uh, Socorro.
637
00:33:23,549 --> 00:33:25,384
I think it's gonna be
a bit of a handful,
638
00:33:25,419 --> 00:33:27,848
so I'm gonna need
you two to go with me.
639
00:33:27,883 --> 00:33:30,224
- Yeah, of course.
- Wait.
640
00:33:30,259 --> 00:33:33,689
I need to pee, and throw up,
possibly kill myself.
641
00:33:33,724 --> 00:33:35,592
- Where's your bathroom?
- Right over there.
642
00:33:38,267 --> 00:33:40,663
- So how you doing? Okay.
- No, no. No.
643
00:33:41,732 --> 00:33:43,237
No.
644
00:33:43,272 --> 00:33:44,766
Hey, it's Charles.
645
00:33:44,801 --> 00:33:46,867
Ashley:
Oh! 'Sup, C-Dog?
646
00:33:46,902 --> 00:33:49,243
How's it going?
Where the hell are you?
647
00:33:49,278 --> 00:33:50,541
I'm in a bathroom.
648
00:33:50,576 --> 00:33:53,676
Look, I need your help.
I'm desperate.
649
00:33:53,711 --> 00:33:56,613
Do you need me to bring over
some more ass wipes?
650
00:33:56,648 --> 00:33:59,484
No. It's C2.
651
00:33:59,519 --> 00:34:01,585
Look, I can't really talk now.
652
00:34:01,620 --> 00:34:03,257
I'll text you the details,
653
00:34:03,292 --> 00:34:06,161
but just have Fat Ninja
ready to move.
654
00:34:06,196 --> 00:34:07,657
Yes, sir.
655
00:34:07,692 --> 00:34:09,428
A mission given
is a mission accomplished.
656
00:34:09,463 --> 00:34:12,233
We tame the flames.
In Q we trust.
657
00:34:14,765 --> 00:34:19,405
♪ Ooh, lordy,
trouble so hard ♪
658
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:23,772
♪ Oh, lordy,
trouble so hard ♪
659
00:34:23,807 --> 00:34:26,247
♪ Don't nobody know
my troubles but God ♪
660
00:34:26,282 --> 00:34:28,711
Do you have any music
other than Moby?
661
00:34:28,746 --> 00:34:30,614
Mm, no.
662
00:34:30,649 --> 00:34:32,781
Wait, you don't like Moby?
663
00:34:32,816 --> 00:34:34,684
God, I love him. I just--
664
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:38,391
I find him deeply spiritual,
665
00:34:38,426 --> 00:34:41,625
like a--
like the white Gandhi.
666
00:34:41,660 --> 00:34:45,893
♪ Don't nobody know
my troubles but God ♪
667
00:34:45,928 --> 00:34:50,568
♪ Don't nobody know
my troubles but God ♪
668
00:34:50,603 --> 00:34:54,770
♪ Went in the room,
didn't stay long ♪
669
00:34:54,805 --> 00:34:58,972
♪ Looked on the bed
and brother was dead ♪
670
00:34:59,007 --> 00:35:01,381
That's the room up there.
Take these.
671
00:35:01,416 --> 00:35:03,383
They have enough power
to knock them out
672
00:35:03,418 --> 00:35:04,549
till we get them in the van.
673
00:35:04,584 --> 00:35:06,287
Just stay close by me,
674
00:35:06,322 --> 00:35:07,552
and whatever you do,
you gotta be careful
675
00:35:07,587 --> 00:35:10,225
and only use these
when you--
676
00:35:10,260 --> 00:35:11,754
You're 12, you know that?
677
00:35:11,789 --> 00:35:12,920
Pretty good shot
for a 12-year-old.
678
00:35:12,955 --> 00:35:15,593
- It was five feet away.
- Guys, stop.
679
00:35:15,628 --> 00:35:18,398
- ( squawks )
- See? Not that hard to do.
680
00:35:18,433 --> 00:35:20,565
- Oh, for fuck's sake!
- Both: Shh.
681
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,336
They're just up there,
you idiot.
682
00:35:32,579 --> 00:35:35,679
Holy shit.
They're screwing.
683
00:35:35,714 --> 00:35:37,582
What?
684
00:35:42,952 --> 00:35:46,019
They're gonna see you! Move!
685
00:35:46,054 --> 00:35:48,692
Okay, looks like
they just started up.
686
00:35:48,727 --> 00:35:51,563
That should give us
about a five-hour window.
687
00:35:51,598 --> 00:35:53,026
Let's use that time
to make a plan.
688
00:35:53,061 --> 00:35:56,337
I wanna-- or we do that.
689
00:35:56,372 --> 00:36:00,770
Your disgusting joyride is over.
690
00:36:00,805 --> 00:36:03,773
- Hey, I get to shoot me.
- Sorry, I couldn't resist.
691
00:36:03,808 --> 00:36:06,743
Well, fine,
then I'm shooting you.
That's not fair.
692
00:36:06,778 --> 00:36:07,909
Well, it seemed
perfectly fair to me.
693
00:36:07,944 --> 00:36:09,350
You're just not fast enough.
694
00:36:09,385 --> 00:36:10,978
Bullshit.
I'm an excellent marksman.
695
00:36:11,013 --> 00:36:12,749
- Oh, yeah.
- I can hit a quail
from 200 yards.
696
00:36:12,784 --> 00:36:14,949
Oh, Jesus Christ,
what the fuck does it matter?
697
00:36:14,984 --> 00:36:16,621
Charles,
you help me move them
698
00:36:16,656 --> 00:36:18,458
and you stay here
and pack up their shit, okay?
699
00:36:20,363 --> 00:36:21,824
- Elaine: Oh, my God.
- What?
700
00:36:21,859 --> 00:36:25,795
The fucking bitch stole
my Louis Vuitton airplane bag.
701
00:36:25,830 --> 00:36:28,303
You are a ridiculous
human being.
702
00:36:28,338 --> 00:36:29,931
- One, two, three.
- ( grunting )
703
00:36:29,966 --> 00:36:33,308
There you go.
Okay. That's good.
704
00:36:33,343 --> 00:36:34,507
Fuck.
705
00:36:41,846 --> 00:36:43,549
( scoffs )
706
00:36:45,355 --> 00:36:47,322
Are you fucking serious?
707
00:36:47,357 --> 00:36:48,620
Zach: Do you like Elaine?
708
00:36:48,655 --> 00:36:50,754
Charles: Zach, shut up.
709
00:36:50,789 --> 00:36:52,624
Zach: Have you guys kissed
or anything?
710
00:36:52,659 --> 00:36:55,088
- I won't pissed. Just tell me.
- Charles: Lift it up higher.
711
00:36:55,123 --> 00:36:57,959
- If you like her-- okay.
- Shut up. I will shoot you
with this stun gun.
712
00:36:57,994 --> 00:37:01,831
- ( clattering )
- Hello?
713
00:37:01,866 --> 00:37:03,767
You're coming with me,
robo slut!
714
00:37:03,802 --> 00:37:06,968
Aah! Wait, wait, wait!
You're hurting me!
715
00:37:07,003 --> 00:37:09,641
Not as much as you robots
hurt the job market!
716
00:37:11,711 --> 00:37:14,943
- Who are you?
- ( screaming )
717
00:37:14,978 --> 00:37:17,979
Ow! Put me down!
718
00:37:18,014 --> 00:37:19,816
( both grunting )
719
00:37:19,851 --> 00:37:21,554
- Put me down!
- What the fuck!
720
00:37:23,624 --> 00:37:24,854
Oh, shit.
721
00:37:30,532 --> 00:37:34,600
- Help! Help! Help!
- Oh, shit.
722
00:37:34,635 --> 00:37:35,964
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Hey!
723
00:37:35,999 --> 00:37:37,966
- It's me, it's me, it's me.
- What?
724
00:37:38,001 --> 00:37:40,804
- It's me.
- Ashley: Same to you,
you piece of shit.
725
00:37:40,839 --> 00:37:43,510
This is what deserters get!
726
00:37:43,545 --> 00:37:45,776
Fuck you, Ashley!
It's me, Charles!
727
00:37:45,811 --> 00:37:49,780
That's exactly what
a robot would say! Aw, man.
728
00:37:49,815 --> 00:37:51,980
Hey, buddy!
Quick, fire that thing!
729
00:37:52,015 --> 00:37:54,686
- Yes!
- ( groans, farts )
730
00:37:54,721 --> 00:37:56,149
Not at me,
at the fucking robot.
731
00:37:56,184 --> 00:37:59,427
It's me.
We're not fucking robots!
732
00:37:59,462 --> 00:38:02,760
- He's lying!
- Oh, fuck me!
733
00:38:02,795 --> 00:38:05,598
The fuck are you doing,
you idiot?
734
00:38:05,633 --> 00:38:07,963
The eye poke test.
I guess you passed.
735
00:38:07,998 --> 00:38:10,603
What the fuck
is an eye poke test?
736
00:38:10,638 --> 00:38:13,166
Ashley: That's a little trick
I learned in North Korea
737
00:38:13,201 --> 00:38:16,510
to tell the robots
from the humans
in the theater of war.
738
00:38:16,545 --> 00:38:21,581
You see, robots and humans
are exactly the same externally
739
00:38:21,616 --> 00:38:22,813
except for the eyes.
740
00:38:22,848 --> 00:38:24,419
Oh, that's so very interesting.
741
00:38:24,454 --> 00:38:26,080
Who the fuck is this guy?
742
00:38:28,590 --> 00:38:30,755
He's sort of
a friend of mine.
743
00:38:30,790 --> 00:38:32,955
What?
You're the reason he's here?
744
00:38:32,990 --> 00:38:35,430
He just asked me
to bring over
some ass wipes.
745
00:38:35,465 --> 00:38:36,629
Yeah, the rest of this stuff--
746
00:38:36,664 --> 00:38:40,028
- Just stop talking.
- Yes, sir.
747
00:38:40,063 --> 00:38:41,766
So if you two
are the humanoids,
748
00:38:41,801 --> 00:38:43,768
where the robots
I was sent to kidnap?
749
00:38:43,803 --> 00:38:45,836
- Shut the fuck up.
- What?
750
00:38:45,871 --> 00:38:46,870
What is he talking about?
751
00:38:46,905 --> 00:38:50,203
It's fine.
They're in the van.
752
00:38:50,238 --> 00:38:51,908
( tires screeching )
753
00:38:51,943 --> 00:38:53,844
- Fuck!
- Fuck!
754
00:38:53,879 --> 00:38:54,878
Fuck!
755
00:38:58,917 --> 00:39:01,786
Oh, that's no good.
756
00:39:01,821 --> 00:39:04,954
Let's just hope
for all our sake
757
00:39:04,989 --> 00:39:06,626
they're heading to Mexico.
758
00:39:09,697 --> 00:39:11,697
Why I did think
you could ever be trusted?
759
00:39:13,096 --> 00:39:15,668
I'm sorry, okay? I--
760
00:39:15,703 --> 00:39:18,132
I just didn't think
we needed to get rid of them.
761
00:39:18,167 --> 00:39:21,509
I mean, let's face it,
life without robots
is gonna be pretty shitty.
762
00:39:21,544 --> 00:39:24,974
Yeah?
Well, maybe you're gonna have
a shitty life no matter what,
763
00:39:25,009 --> 00:39:28,450
because you're just a shitty,
shitty, shitty person.
764
00:39:30,718 --> 00:39:32,685
She's got a point.
765
00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:33,983
You know, like,
maybe it is time for you
766
00:39:34,018 --> 00:39:36,150
to turn your life around.
767
00:39:36,185 --> 00:39:41,122
I did this toad venom ceremony
in Huánuco Pampa last year.
768
00:39:41,157 --> 00:39:43,993
I don't wanna say
it changed my life, but...
769
00:39:45,161 --> 00:39:47,062
...it changed my life.
770
00:39:47,097 --> 00:39:48,536
You're right.
771
00:39:50,540 --> 00:39:52,166
Maybe I don't need a robot.
772
00:40:01,551 --> 00:40:03,144
Come on, Charles.
773
00:40:03,179 --> 00:40:04,783
You've got this.
774
00:40:04,818 --> 00:40:07,181
Good morning, coworker.
775
00:40:08,888 --> 00:40:11,889
Yes, I watched
"The Bachelor," too.
776
00:40:15,191 --> 00:40:17,290
Yes, receptionist Joan,
777
00:40:17,325 --> 00:40:19,600
I'd love to see pictures
of your children.
778
00:40:19,635 --> 00:40:21,129
Ah, ah! Fuck!
779
00:40:21,164 --> 00:40:22,537
( groans )
780
00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:32,580
Joan.
781
00:40:35,915 --> 00:40:36,914
Ted: Charles.
782
00:40:42,889 --> 00:40:44,251
Hey, guys.
How's it going?
783
00:40:45,595 --> 00:40:48,024
Son, you need help.
784
00:40:48,059 --> 00:40:52,864
Is this about me calling
Mr. Schulman "sugar tits?"
785
00:40:52,899 --> 00:40:56,164
That and your behavior
last night.
786
00:40:57,772 --> 00:40:58,771
What are you talking about?
787
00:41:04,273 --> 00:41:05,646
C2.
788
00:41:07,210 --> 00:41:09,177
I'd been working late at home
789
00:41:09,212 --> 00:41:11,344
and thought that I left a file
790
00:41:11,379 --> 00:41:12,917
in one of
the other guys' desks.
791
00:41:14,855 --> 00:41:15,887
He owed me that.
792
00:41:17,187 --> 00:41:18,593
So did she.
793
00:41:18,628 --> 00:41:20,254
And him.
794
00:41:20,289 --> 00:41:24,896
( whispering )
795
00:41:24,931 --> 00:41:26,601
The bathroom was out of order.
796
00:41:28,396 --> 00:41:34,004
- ( man groans )
- Um, uh...
797
00:41:34,039 --> 00:41:38,844
I'm very sorry.
I've been taking
a lot of Ambien.
798
00:41:38,879 --> 00:41:40,241
How's that stuff
still legal, right?
799
00:41:40,276 --> 00:41:43,651
Maybe we've been
pushing you too hard.
800
00:41:43,686 --> 00:41:45,917
Take some time off. Reset.
801
00:41:45,952 --> 00:41:47,688
You're only human.
802
00:41:58,261 --> 00:42:01,636
( phone vibrating )
803
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:04,936
Elaine.
804
00:42:04,971 --> 00:42:06,641
I didn't think that
I'd hear from you again.
805
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,238
Yes. Same here.
806
00:42:10,273 --> 00:42:11,745
Trashed my office.
807
00:42:11,780 --> 00:42:14,715
Yeah, I know. I get it.
This is all my fault.
808
00:42:17,115 --> 00:42:19,819
Well, we're gonna have
to figure this out.
809
00:42:21,119 --> 00:42:22,657
Maybe we should meet up.
810
00:42:24,188 --> 00:42:26,991
No more tricks. I promise.
811
00:42:30,095 --> 00:42:31,732
This has been
the worst week of my life.
812
00:42:31,767 --> 00:42:35,769
Paranoia, disguises,
and now I'm expected to bang
813
00:42:35,804 --> 00:42:38,299
the 12 douches
I'm dating just to pay rent.
814
00:42:38,334 --> 00:42:41,236
It's just sex
with complete strangers.
815
00:42:41,271 --> 00:42:42,743
I do it all the time.
816
00:42:42,778 --> 00:42:46,780
- Um, two cappuccinos.
- Thank you.
817
00:42:46,815 --> 00:42:48,408
Could I get a sweetener,
please?
818
00:42:48,443 --> 00:42:51,213
- Yeah.
- I can't do this without E2.
819
00:42:51,248 --> 00:42:53,413
I mean, I'm gonna
have to get a real job.
820
00:42:53,448 --> 00:42:55,415
Trust me, I tried work.
821
00:42:55,450 --> 00:42:58,759
It is literally the worst idea
in the history of the world.
822
00:42:58,794 --> 00:43:00,189
You know, I've been thinking.
823
00:43:00,224 --> 00:43:03,698
What if E2 and C2
really have fallen in love?
824
00:43:03,733 --> 00:43:05,128
I mean, who knows
what they're capable of.
825
00:43:05,163 --> 00:43:06,866
Maybe we should go to Mexico.
826
00:43:06,901 --> 00:43:09,132
- 100% no.
- But Mexico has everything--
827
00:43:09,167 --> 00:43:11,068
Forget Mexico, okay?
828
00:43:11,103 --> 00:43:15,237
We stay here,
we hunt them down,
and we kill them.
829
00:43:15,272 --> 00:43:16,271
Thank you.
830
00:43:22,048 --> 00:43:24,015
- Kill them?
- Kill them.
831
00:43:27,053 --> 00:43:28,151
I'm gonna use the restroom.
832
00:43:28,186 --> 00:43:30,890
Okay, I don't-- I--
833
00:43:36,029 --> 00:43:38,832
( engine starts )
834
00:43:40,495 --> 00:43:42,066
Hey, hey!
835
00:43:42,101 --> 00:43:44,167
Elaine, what the fuck?
836
00:43:44,202 --> 00:43:47,236
- Hey!
- Hey, stop!
837
00:43:47,271 --> 00:43:49,843
- Elaine!
- Charles!
838
00:43:49,878 --> 00:43:52,010
- Come back!
- Charles, stop!
839
00:43:52,045 --> 00:43:53,473
Hey, Charles!
840
00:43:53,508 --> 00:43:55,717
Come back!
841
00:43:57,413 --> 00:44:00,084
- Argh!
- Fuck!
842
00:44:00,119 --> 00:44:03,120
Wait. Wait, you just...
843
00:44:03,155 --> 00:44:07,256
Oh, no.
844
00:44:07,291 --> 00:44:09,060
What the fuck?
845
00:44:09,095 --> 00:44:10,193
Shit.
846
00:44:11,834 --> 00:44:14,164
- Ahh!
- Sorry, I just--
847
00:44:14,199 --> 00:44:17,233
Ow! God, why'd you do it back?
848
00:44:17,268 --> 00:44:19,268
- I needed to check.
- Jesus.
849
00:44:19,303 --> 00:44:22,007
Oh, fuck.
We've been had.
850
00:44:22,042 --> 00:44:24,779
- Fuck, what do we do?
- I don't know.
851
00:44:24,814 --> 00:44:27,045
- They're definitely pissed.
- Yeah, well, no shit.
852
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:29,245
I did tell C2 we were
planning to kill him.
853
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:32,248
You idiot.
Why would you do that?
854
00:44:32,283 --> 00:44:33,986
( sighs )
855
00:44:37,123 --> 00:44:39,057
Charles:
Wonder why they left my car
and took yours.
856
00:44:39,092 --> 00:44:42,489
Well, it seems in addition
to vengeance, they've
also developed taste.
857
00:44:42,524 --> 00:44:47,197
- Get off the road.
- ( groans )
858
00:44:47,232 --> 00:44:50,200
( music playing )
859
00:45:01,477 --> 00:45:03,147
I'd offer to buy us a drink,
860
00:45:03,182 --> 00:45:06,282
but your evil twin
stole my credit cards.
861
00:45:06,317 --> 00:45:08,383
And yours took mine.
862
00:45:10,992 --> 00:45:12,827
Do you think
they've had their fun?
863
00:45:14,292 --> 00:45:16,831
( phone vibrating )
864
00:45:19,902 --> 00:45:21,330
I'd say that's highly likely.
865
00:45:25,303 --> 00:45:27,039
- ( squealing )
- God.
866
00:45:27,074 --> 00:45:30,009
- ( sighs )
- ( text chimes )
867
00:45:37,315 --> 00:45:38,853
E2: Okay, let's do this.
868
00:45:40,582 --> 00:45:42,989
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, shit.
869
00:45:46,423 --> 00:45:47,994
- ( gunfire )
- ( screaming )
870
00:45:48,029 --> 00:45:49,490
Oh, my God.
871
00:45:49,525 --> 00:45:54,429
( gunfire and screaming
continue )
872
00:45:54,464 --> 00:45:56,167
- Shit.
- Charles...
873
00:45:56,202 --> 00:45:58,136
We've been perfectly framed.
874
00:45:58,171 --> 00:46:00,534
So what are we gonna do?
We gotta get out of town.
875
00:46:00,569 --> 00:46:04,340
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God!
876
00:46:04,375 --> 00:46:07,343
- Oh, my God.
- I know a place.
877
00:46:11,921 --> 00:46:14,581
♪ Take me or leave me ♪
878
00:46:14,616 --> 00:46:18,354
♪ I'm gonna fly ♪
879
00:46:18,389 --> 00:46:21,357
♪ Love me or hate me ♪
880
00:46:21,392 --> 00:46:23,557
♪ I'm gonna fly ♪
881
00:46:25,264 --> 00:46:28,067
♪ Turn your back on me ♪
882
00:46:28,102 --> 00:46:31,906
♪ Hold me tight ♪
883
00:46:31,941 --> 00:46:33,666
♪ It all goes wrong ♪
884
00:46:33,701 --> 00:46:35,910
♪ Before it's right ♪
885
00:46:37,408 --> 00:46:39,914
♪ Gonna fly ♪
886
00:46:43,711 --> 00:46:47,218
We can hole up here for a bit,
figure out what to do next.
887
00:46:47,253 --> 00:46:49,088
My stepdad never
uses this place.
888
00:46:49,123 --> 00:46:52,223
Great, somewhere picturesque
889
00:46:52,258 --> 00:46:54,522
to plan our next
mass shooting from?
890
00:46:54,557 --> 00:46:56,524
- Whoa, whoa. Phones off.
- What?
891
00:46:56,559 --> 00:46:59,263
Yes, the cops will definitely
be using them to find us.
892
00:46:59,298 --> 00:47:04,433
♪ Never were you bad,
never were you so ♪
893
00:47:04,468 --> 00:47:06,204
( sighing )
894
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:10,274
♪ Beautiful as one
you did not know ♪
895
00:47:10,309 --> 00:47:12,144
Listen, it's gonna
get dark soon
896
00:47:12,179 --> 00:47:13,981
and it's gonna be
fucking freezing,
897
00:47:14,016 --> 00:47:15,576
so we should probably
find wood for the fire
898
00:47:15,611 --> 00:47:18,612
and see if there's
any food in here.
899
00:47:21,617 --> 00:47:23,155
Seriously?
900
00:47:23,190 --> 00:47:25,421
Can you please go out
and find some wood?
901
00:47:29,163 --> 00:47:31,592
- Thank you.
- ( howling )
902
00:47:31,627 --> 00:47:34,001
- What was that?
- A coyote.
903
00:47:34,036 --> 00:47:36,531
- It sounded like a bear.
- It's a coyote.
904
00:47:36,566 --> 00:47:38,467
Definitely sounded like
a big bear to me.
905
00:47:38,502 --> 00:47:40,436
Oh, really?
Since when do bears howl?
906
00:47:40,471 --> 00:47:42,207
When they're horny?
907
00:47:42,242 --> 00:47:44,473
Would you like me
to go get the wood?
908
00:47:44,508 --> 00:47:47,575
- Yes, please.
- You're such a fucking pussy.
909
00:47:47,610 --> 00:47:49,676
Start that and see if
there's any food in there.
910
00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:01,721
( music playing )
911
00:48:08,532 --> 00:48:09,531
Fucking light.
912
00:48:14,373 --> 00:48:15,471
Yes.
913
00:48:20,577 --> 00:48:21,675
Fuck you, log.
914
00:48:29,421 --> 00:48:31,487
You were supposed
to light the fire.
915
00:48:31,522 --> 00:48:34,193
I tried everything
humanly possible,
916
00:48:34,228 --> 00:48:35,326
but that log is faulty.
917
00:48:35,361 --> 00:48:37,691
It's not flammable.
918
00:48:39,299 --> 00:48:41,398
For fuck's sake.
919
00:48:41,433 --> 00:48:43,664
Did you know
that Bradley Cooper
used to be straight?
920
00:48:45,404 --> 00:48:47,503
Hey! I was reading that.
921
00:48:54,248 --> 00:48:57,051
Help me. You crumple it up.
922
00:49:01,585 --> 00:49:03,387
Did you manage
to find any food?
923
00:49:03,422 --> 00:49:06,423
Oh, yes.
Mixed news on that front.
924
00:49:06,458 --> 00:49:09,723
I found some old cans,
but unfortunately
925
00:49:09,758 --> 00:49:14,530
there isn't the little machine
C2 uses to open the cans.
926
00:49:14,565 --> 00:49:18,105
Can opener?
You seriously don't know
the term "can opener"?
927
00:49:18,140 --> 00:49:19,667
Great.
928
00:49:36,752 --> 00:49:40,094
Mmm.
929
00:49:40,129 --> 00:49:43,097
Yeah, I told you this place
would be all right
once we got it sorted.
930
00:49:43,132 --> 00:49:44,461
We make quite the team.
931
00:49:45,827 --> 00:49:47,662
What's for dessert?
932
00:49:47,697 --> 00:49:50,467
We make quite the team?
933
00:49:50,502 --> 00:49:53,503
That's like saying
a murderer and their victim
make quite a team.
934
00:49:53,538 --> 00:49:56,506
A team works together
for everyone's mutual benefit.
935
00:49:56,541 --> 00:49:58,739
The only you've done
since we've been up here
936
00:49:58,774 --> 00:50:01,115
is watch me be
your new robot slave.
937
00:50:01,150 --> 00:50:02,545
I provided the cabin.
938
00:50:02,580 --> 00:50:04,778
The rest is not really
my specialty.
939
00:50:04,813 --> 00:50:07,715
You didn't provide the cabin.
Daddy did.
940
00:50:07,750 --> 00:50:09,651
Just like everything else
in your life.
941
00:50:09,686 --> 00:50:12,687
You know what?
I'm gonna go to sleep.
942
00:50:12,722 --> 00:50:14,887
Because I can't fucking
believe that I am stuck
943
00:50:14,922 --> 00:50:16,724
on the top
of a mountain with you,
944
00:50:16,759 --> 00:50:20,431
with no money
and no friends and no phone,
945
00:50:20,466 --> 00:50:22,334
and a life of jail
waiting for me at the bottom.
946
00:50:22,369 --> 00:50:24,270
And I hope I have a nightmare,
947
00:50:24,305 --> 00:50:27,438
because it'll be better
than this shitty reality.
948
00:50:38,781 --> 00:50:40,286
I'm very sorry, Elaine.
949
00:50:40,321 --> 00:50:42,585
Didn't mean to be
inconsiderate.
950
00:50:42,620 --> 00:50:44,686
You should sleep
in the comfortable chair
next to the fire
951
00:50:44,721 --> 00:50:47,689
- so you don't die
of hypothermia.
- Fuck off.
952
00:50:47,724 --> 00:50:49,625
Can you at least
let me try and move you
closer to the heat?
953
00:50:49,660 --> 00:50:51,528
- No. I'll kick you.
- Well, I'm going to do it.
954
00:50:51,563 --> 00:50:53,695
Do not kick me.
I'm going to gently move you
towards the fire.
955
00:50:53,730 --> 00:50:55,169
- I'm gonna kick you.
- No. No.
956
00:50:55,204 --> 00:50:56,896
- Stop!
- Come nearer the fire.
957
00:50:56,931 --> 00:50:58,898
- Charles, stop it!
- Otherwise you'll
freeze to death!
958
00:50:58,933 --> 00:51:00,438
Stop!
959
00:51:04,477 --> 00:51:07,181
- I hate you.
- Elaine, we'll swap places.
960
00:51:07,216 --> 00:51:08,776
Let's just be rational here.
961
00:51:08,811 --> 00:51:12,318
I have just consumed
nearly an entire tin of beans.
962
00:51:12,353 --> 00:51:14,815
I should be sleeping
nowhere near an open flame.
963
00:51:14,850 --> 00:51:17,356
- Fuck off.
- Okay.
964
00:51:20,823 --> 00:51:24,957
♪ I'm sick and tired
of the way that I feel ♪
965
00:51:24,992 --> 00:51:27,927
♪ I'm always dreaming
and it's never for real ♪
966
00:51:27,962 --> 00:51:32,470
♪ I'm all alone
with my deep thoughts ♪
967
00:51:32,505 --> 00:51:35,935
♪ I'm all alone with
my heartache ♪
968
00:51:35,970 --> 00:51:38,641
♪ And my good intentions ♪
969
00:51:41,811 --> 00:51:45,648
♪ I want to eat and drink,
to sleep just a little ♪
970
00:51:45,683 --> 00:51:49,454
♪ Feels like I'm never
getting back what I give ♪
971
00:51:49,489 --> 00:51:53,326
♪ I got a sad song
in my sweet heart ♪
972
00:51:53,361 --> 00:51:57,726
♪ And all I really ever need
is some love and attention ♪
973
00:51:57,761 --> 00:51:59,728
Give me that.
974
00:52:06,902 --> 00:52:08,770
I still think
you're a total dick.
975
00:52:10,037 --> 00:52:11,971
Could I have
a little bourbon, please?
976
00:52:22,918 --> 00:52:24,786
Now about that dessert.
977
00:52:24,821 --> 00:52:29,362
♪ And I don't wanna cry ♪
978
00:52:31,399 --> 00:52:34,367
♪ My whole life through ♪
979
00:52:34,402 --> 00:52:38,668
♪ I wanna do
some laughing, too ♪
980
00:52:38,703 --> 00:52:41,033
♪ So, come on,
come on, come on ♪
981
00:52:41,068 --> 00:52:42,837
- Okay, ready?
- You have two two hands.
It's cheating.
982
00:52:42,872 --> 00:52:44,872
Yeah, I'm a girl. Go.
983
00:52:46,315 --> 00:52:47,842
Oh!
984
00:52:47,877 --> 00:52:50,713
( laughs )
That's not fair.
985
00:52:50,748 --> 00:52:52,352
♪ Don't wanna die ♪
986
00:52:52,387 --> 00:52:56,884
♪ Without shaking up
a leg or two ♪
987
00:52:56,919 --> 00:53:00,624
♪ Yeah, I wanna do
some dancing, too ♪
988
00:53:02,463 --> 00:53:05,596
♪ So, come on, come on,
come on, come on ♪
989
00:53:05,631 --> 00:53:06,927
♪ And dance with me ♪
990
00:53:06,962 --> 00:53:09,765
( music continues )
991
00:53:13,034 --> 00:53:14,033
In the fire?
992
00:53:15,476 --> 00:53:17,740
♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪
993
00:53:17,775 --> 00:53:20,644
♪ Come on
and dance with me ♪
994
00:53:27,114 --> 00:53:28,421
Morning.
995
00:53:30,491 --> 00:53:33,393
Coffee and Excedrin,
breakfast of champions.
996
00:53:33,428 --> 00:53:36,462
And alcoholics.
997
00:53:36,497 --> 00:53:38,893
We need to get off
this mountain.
998
00:53:38,928 --> 00:53:40,994
It's only gonna be
a matter of time
till the cops find us here.
999
00:53:41,029 --> 00:53:42,831
That's true.
1000
00:53:42,866 --> 00:53:44,965
Mexico's our only choice.
1001
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:46,736
How are we supposed
to get to Mexico
1002
00:53:46,771 --> 00:53:49,739
with every cop in the country
looking for America's
1003
00:53:49,774 --> 00:53:53,710
only Lake Placid Blue
double cab Jeep?
1004
00:53:53,745 --> 00:53:56,977
- Ta-da.
- Wow.
1005
00:53:57,012 --> 00:53:59,012
Got up early
this morning to do it.
1006
00:53:59,047 --> 00:54:01,520
Found some old paint
in the shed.
1007
00:54:01,555 --> 00:54:03,984
Guarantee you
it will get us past the cops.
1008
00:54:04,019 --> 00:54:07,823
It's actually really
well camouflaged.
1009
00:54:07,858 --> 00:54:10,727
- Whoa.
- I ran out of green.
1010
00:54:13,666 --> 00:54:17,129
- It'll do the trick.
- Yeah. Should we get going?
1011
00:54:17,164 --> 00:54:19,505
Why don't we get
some lunch first?
1012
00:54:19,540 --> 00:54:21,067
Sure, I'll try
and see if there's any--
1013
00:54:21,102 --> 00:54:24,136
Uh-uh-uh. This way.
1014
00:54:24,171 --> 00:54:26,138
There's something
I wanna show you
in the woods.
1015
00:54:26,173 --> 00:54:29,515
- This looks creepy.
- Don't be silly.
Just come on.
1016
00:54:29,550 --> 00:54:32,518
I'm a little scared.
1017
00:54:32,553 --> 00:54:35,719
You're scared?
I'm the one that has
to walk back alone.
1018
00:54:37,558 --> 00:54:39,657
Follow me into the woods.
1019
00:54:41,056 --> 00:54:43,991
- Fuck!
- Whoa, what happened?
1020
00:54:44,026 --> 00:54:45,564
- You were an idiot
is what happened.
- What happened?
1021
00:54:45,599 --> 00:54:47,797
What are you talking about?
I didn't do anything?
1022
00:54:49,735 --> 00:54:53,000
I wanted to show you my first,
and if I'm brutally honest,
1023
00:54:53,035 --> 00:54:55,970
only really successful
real estate development.
1024
00:54:56,005 --> 00:54:57,004
Huh?
1025
00:54:58,711 --> 00:55:00,777
( laughs )
Oh.
1026
00:55:00,812 --> 00:55:02,878
Is that your doll house?
1027
00:55:02,913 --> 00:55:04,583
It's a fishing lodge.
1028
00:55:04,618 --> 00:55:07,113
- Oh, it's your playhouse.
- No.
1029
00:55:08,655 --> 00:55:10,721
This is really cute,
but I'm starving.
1030
00:55:10,756 --> 00:55:11,755
Where's lunch?
1031
00:55:14,892 --> 00:55:16,859
- Charles: In there.
- What?
1032
00:55:18,093 --> 00:55:19,763
We're going fishing?
1033
00:55:19,798 --> 00:55:21,996
- Yeah.
- Ooh! So exciting.
1034
00:55:22,031 --> 00:55:24,900
( moans )
1035
00:55:24,935 --> 00:55:27,100
How much longer
is this gonna take?
1036
00:55:27,135 --> 00:55:29,168
Three, four hours.
1037
00:55:29,203 --> 00:55:33,612
- Four more hours?
- Yes. Do you want a go?
1038
00:55:33,647 --> 00:55:35,614
Don't be disheartened
if you don't get anything.
1039
00:55:35,649 --> 00:55:38,144
Your best weapon is patience.
1040
00:55:38,179 --> 00:55:40,751
Oh, really?
I beg to differ.
1041
00:55:40,786 --> 00:55:42,753
What are you--
hey, be careful!
1042
00:55:42,788 --> 00:55:45,624
- Jesus!
- Get out of the way.
1043
00:55:45,659 --> 00:55:48,462
- Get out of the way.
- Fuck off.
1044
00:55:51,027 --> 00:55:53,225
- That's cheating.
- Not my fault you brought
1045
00:55:53,260 --> 00:55:55,095
a fishing rod to a gun fight.
1046
00:55:55,130 --> 00:55:58,032
Come on. I'll help you.
1047
00:55:58,067 --> 00:55:59,935
- Ah!
- You--
1048
00:55:59,970 --> 00:56:01,673
- I will throw you
in this river.
- No, let go of me!
1049
00:56:01,708 --> 00:56:05,105
I will throw you
in this river.
1050
00:56:05,140 --> 00:56:08,108
You will be swimming
with the trout!
1051
00:56:08,143 --> 00:56:11,177
That was actually
very delicious.
1052
00:56:14,688 --> 00:56:16,149
Time to face the music?
1053
00:56:44,179 --> 00:56:49,820
( siren blaring )
1054
00:56:49,855 --> 00:56:52,152
Shit. Shit.
1055
00:56:57,258 --> 00:56:58,895
- We're going to jail.
- No, no.
1056
00:56:58,930 --> 00:57:00,831
- We're going to jail, Elaine.
- Hey, Charles.
1057
00:57:00,866 --> 00:57:02,998
- I can't go to jail.
Not with this face.
- Look at me.
1058
00:57:03,033 --> 00:57:04,868
- Charles, don't say anything.
- They'll pass me around
like a joint.
1059
00:57:04,903 --> 00:57:06,870
- Don't say anything, okay?
- Okay.
1060
00:57:06,905 --> 00:57:08,872
- Let me do the talking. Okay.
- Okay.
1061
00:57:10,843 --> 00:57:13,173
- You know why I stopped you?
- Mass murder.
1062
00:57:13,208 --> 00:57:14,548
- Charles.
- Sorry.
1063
00:57:14,583 --> 00:57:17,716
What?
1064
00:57:17,751 --> 00:57:19,311
Whatever asshole kid
vandalized your vehicle
1065
00:57:19,346 --> 00:57:20,884
also painted over
your brake lights.
1066
00:57:22,316 --> 00:57:23,656
IDs, please.
1067
00:57:30,797 --> 00:57:33,094
Charles, the brake lights.
1068
00:57:33,129 --> 00:57:35,096
I'm sorry.
1069
00:57:36,737 --> 00:57:38,132
It's okay.
1070
00:57:41,643 --> 00:57:43,709
Officer, I did it.
1071
00:57:43,744 --> 00:57:46,239
I coerced Elaine.
She's completely innocent.
1072
00:57:48,617 --> 00:57:51,046
You painted over
your own lights?
1073
00:57:52,214 --> 00:57:53,851
Why would you do that?
1074
00:57:55,921 --> 00:57:57,855
Just scrape 'em clean
and you can get on your way.
1075
00:57:57,890 --> 00:57:59,626
- Thank you.
- Thanks, officer.
1076
00:57:59,661 --> 00:58:02,321
- We really appreciate it.
- On your way.
1077
00:58:04,226 --> 00:58:05,797
What the fuck?
1078
00:58:05,832 --> 00:58:08,129
He ran the IDs and nothing.
1079
00:58:08,164 --> 00:58:10,637
Turn on your phone.
1080
00:58:10,672 --> 00:58:12,639
- Google "August mass shooting."
- It's America.
1081
00:58:12,674 --> 00:58:14,366
We might need to be
a little bit more specific.
1082
00:58:14,401 --> 00:58:17,908
Yeah, um,
Albuquerque IRS shooting?
1083
00:58:17,943 --> 00:58:21,307
- Nothing.
- Pull up the video again.
1084
00:58:24,411 --> 00:58:27,247
- E2: Okay, let's do this.
- Wait, wait, wait.
1085
00:58:27,282 --> 00:58:29,084
Oh, my God,
there's no cars
in the parking lot.
1086
00:58:29,119 --> 00:58:31,625
And it was a Saturday,
1087
00:58:31,660 --> 00:58:34,287
which means no one
would be in the office.
1088
00:58:34,322 --> 00:58:37,257
- ( gunfire, screaming )
- And those are AR-15s.
AR-15s are semiautomatic.
1089
00:58:37,292 --> 00:58:39,798
That's fully automatic gunfire.
They faked the whole thing.
1090
00:58:39,833 --> 00:58:43,901
- What a pair of fucking cunts!
- Yeah.
1091
00:58:43,936 --> 00:58:47,267
They've been
living it up in Mexico
whilst you've been here
1092
00:58:47,302 --> 00:58:49,203
freaking out about
going to prison for no reason.
1093
00:58:50,272 --> 00:58:52,107
Okay, both of us have been.
1094
00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:55,814
Unbelievable.
1095
00:58:55,849 --> 00:58:58,344
Charles,
they're not in Mexico.
1096
00:58:58,379 --> 00:59:00,654
Then where have
they run away to?
1097
00:59:00,689 --> 00:59:02,920
They haven't.
1098
00:59:04,759 --> 00:59:07,287
Both: Oh.
1099
00:59:07,322 --> 00:59:09,861
Oh!
1100
00:59:09,896 --> 00:59:11,764
- Elaine: Ugh.
- Fucking hell.
1101
00:59:11,799 --> 00:59:13,095
This is terrible.
1102
00:59:13,130 --> 00:59:14,932
They've completely
stolen our lives.
1103
00:59:14,967 --> 00:59:17,330
Do we have enough gas
to get to the border?
1104
00:59:17,365 --> 00:59:20,168
No, but we do have enough
1105
00:59:20,203 --> 00:59:23,171
to get to my stepdad's
house in Santa Fe
1106
00:59:23,206 --> 00:59:25,338
and work out how
we're gonna get our lives back.
1107
00:59:25,373 --> 00:59:28,044
You're right.
Fuck those cunts.
1108
00:59:28,079 --> 00:59:31,113
God, I find it so attractive
when you say that word.
1109
00:59:31,148 --> 00:59:34,380
- Do you?
- Yeah, I think it might be
an English thing.
1110
00:59:34,415 --> 00:59:37,922
( music playing )
1111
00:59:43,226 --> 00:59:48,097
♪ Your silicon strategy's
in free fall ♪
1112
00:59:51,069 --> 00:59:52,838
♪ Your helicam flutters ♪
1113
00:59:52,873 --> 00:59:58,404
♪ In high frequency ♪
1114
00:59:58,439 --> 01:00:02,848
♪ The power cut undercuts
your free flow ♪
1115
01:00:06,282 --> 01:00:10,383
♪ There's nobody left
to casually ♪
1116
01:00:10,418 --> 01:00:12,418
♪ Guide your hand ♪
1117
01:00:14,191 --> 01:00:17,093
♪ Loan me your unholy ♪
1118
01:00:17,128 --> 01:00:21,834
♪ Lowly loneliness ♪
1119
01:00:21,869 --> 01:00:25,134
♪ Loan me your unholy ♪
1120
01:00:25,169 --> 01:00:29,006
♪ Lowly loneliness ♪
1121
01:00:29,041 --> 01:00:35,045
♪ You're only in a mess ♪
1122
01:00:45,024 --> 01:00:50,390
Isn't it weird
to think that we, the robots,
are down somewhere?
1123
01:00:50,425 --> 01:00:52,194
Elaine: Probably at the bar
1124
01:00:52,229 --> 01:00:53,998
telling people
how happy they are.
1125
01:00:54,033 --> 01:00:56,033
Charles:
How they complete each other.
1126
01:00:56,068 --> 01:00:59,905
It's so fucked up.
1127
01:00:59,940 --> 01:01:01,401
It's so fucked up.
1128
01:01:03,845 --> 01:01:06,505
( airplane engine )
1129
01:01:08,575 --> 01:01:11,345
- God.
- That's cringe.
1130
01:01:11,380 --> 01:01:13,952
Elaine: Ugh, so cheesy.
1131
01:01:21,929 --> 01:01:24,358
What's going on down there?
Give me those.
1132
01:01:24,393 --> 01:01:25,964
- ( grunts )
- Sorry.
1133
01:01:25,999 --> 01:01:28,560
Ooh, they have arrived.
1134
01:01:28,595 --> 01:01:30,331
- ( gasps ) Oh, my God.
- What?
1135
01:01:30,366 --> 01:01:32,531
Elaine: The fucking bitch stole
my Chanel hula hoop purse.
1136
01:01:32,566 --> 01:01:35,534
- Really?
- Oh, how lame is that?
1137
01:01:35,569 --> 01:01:37,008
They hired a mime.
1138
01:01:39,111 --> 01:01:41,540
- Ow.
- That's not a mime.
1139
01:01:41,575 --> 01:01:44,378
- It's a bloody priest.
- What?
1140
01:01:44,413 --> 01:01:48,382
- We're getting married.
- No.
1141
01:01:48,417 --> 01:01:50,219
- What do we do?
- I got it.
1142
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:54,894
- I got it. Let's go.
- Go where?
1143
01:01:54,929 --> 01:01:56,060
To stop our wedding.
1144
01:02:00,627 --> 01:02:02,968
I feel kind of bad
for peeling off their faces
1145
01:02:03,003 --> 01:02:04,233
and throwing them in there.
1146
01:02:06,303 --> 01:02:08,435
Walk like you've got
a stick up your ass.
1147
01:02:08,470 --> 01:02:10,437
- Better?
- Too much.
1148
01:02:10,472 --> 01:02:13,176
- Smaller stick.
- More salt!
1149
01:02:15,345 --> 01:02:17,983
- Less soap!
- Yes, Chef.
1150
01:02:20,548 --> 01:02:22,889
Dude, my half-brother
is such a freak.
1151
01:02:22,924 --> 01:02:25,023
He's incapable
of keeping a woman.
1152
01:02:25,058 --> 01:02:27,322
I know because I'm banging
his ex-girlfriend.
1153
01:02:27,357 --> 01:02:30,457
- Mm.
- Hey, welcome to the wedding.
1154
01:02:30,492 --> 01:02:34,461
- What is your problem?
- Uh, my dick's so big
it gives me back pain.
1155
01:02:34,496 --> 01:02:38,399
- Want me to cut it off?
- Okay, yeah. I like her.
1156
01:02:38,434 --> 01:02:42,271
- Prick.
- Charlie, congrats.
1157
01:02:42,306 --> 01:02:44,240
I'm so happy for you.
1158
01:02:44,275 --> 01:02:47,078
- What is it?
- Francesca, my ex.
1159
01:02:47,113 --> 01:02:48,981
You know, just because
you're getting married
1160
01:02:49,016 --> 01:02:52,149
it doesn't mean
we can't be friends.
1161
01:02:52,184 --> 01:02:53,513
Maybe you can
take me shopping.
1162
01:02:53,548 --> 01:02:55,614
There will be
benefits for you.
1163
01:02:55,649 --> 01:02:57,517
Fucking gold digger.
1164
01:02:57,552 --> 01:02:58,584
( clears throat )
1165
01:03:01,930 --> 01:03:03,556
Will you excuse me,
Francesca?
1166
01:03:09,168 --> 01:03:11,564
Ted: Speech is in
the courtyard, folks.
1167
01:03:13,975 --> 01:03:16,404
C2: Thank you, everyone,
for making it here
on such short notice.
1168
01:03:16,439 --> 01:03:18,439
Till a couple of days ago,
1169
01:03:18,474 --> 01:03:20,144
most of you probably
didn't even realize
1170
01:03:20,179 --> 01:03:21,475
that Elaine and I were dating.
1171
01:03:21,510 --> 01:03:24,676
But the truth is,
we have more in common
1172
01:03:24,711 --> 01:03:27,052
than you could ever imagine.
1173
01:03:27,087 --> 01:03:30,154
It's almost
as if we're hardwired
to be a couple.
1174
01:03:30,189 --> 01:03:31,683
I see what they did there.
1175
01:03:31,718 --> 01:03:34,356
When we first met,
it was electric.
1176
01:03:34,391 --> 01:03:35,687
"Sparks flew."
Missed that one.
1177
01:03:35,722 --> 01:03:38,129
- Oh, God.
- C2: We're so compatible,
1178
01:03:38,164 --> 01:03:41,198
and that's why we wanted
to get married immediately
1179
01:03:41,233 --> 01:03:43,035
just to make things official.
1180
01:03:43,070 --> 01:03:45,037
Oh, no, no, no. Not yet.
1181
01:03:45,072 --> 01:03:48,007
We're not married.
That's tomorrow.
1182
01:03:48,042 --> 01:03:49,668
And you know what else
is tomorrow?
1183
01:03:49,703 --> 01:03:52,077
Dancing. Hit it DJ.
1184
01:03:52,112 --> 01:03:53,980
Oh, please, God, no.
1185
01:03:54,015 --> 01:03:57,918
( big band music playing )
1186
01:04:13,595 --> 01:04:15,298
- Stop.
- What?
1187
01:04:15,333 --> 01:04:17,234
( music continues )
1188
01:04:26,443 --> 01:04:28,311
Did we just watch
the same thing?
1189
01:04:28,346 --> 01:04:31,281
We're going to get changed.
We'll be back in a jiffy.
1190
01:04:31,316 --> 01:04:34,251
And please remember,
don't go easy
on the champagne.
1191
01:04:34,286 --> 01:04:36,517
I think I preferred him
without a sense of humor.
1192
01:04:38,620 --> 01:04:40,422
Okay, this is our chance.
1193
01:04:44,131 --> 01:04:45,559
- C2: Come in.
- Room service.
1194
01:04:45,594 --> 01:04:48,298
- E2: Come in.
- Charles?
1195
01:04:48,333 --> 01:04:49,563
Elaine?
1196
01:05:08,518 --> 01:05:11,992
Hey, you go ahead.
I'll catch up.
1197
01:05:14,062 --> 01:05:18,394
( music playing )
1198
01:05:19,595 --> 01:05:22,464
( grunting )
1199
01:05:22,499 --> 01:05:25,599
- Just leave the bag.
- No fucking way.
1200
01:05:29,143 --> 01:05:32,474
The guns are running low.
We're gonna have to get rid
of our passengers soon.
1201
01:05:32,509 --> 01:05:34,476
Any bright ideas?
1202
01:05:40,154 --> 01:05:42,715
( grunting )
1203
01:05:46,490 --> 01:05:48,391
Gentlemen first, I guess.
1204
01:05:50,461 --> 01:05:53,693
Both: One, two, three.
1205
01:05:57,105 --> 01:05:58,599
( splashing )
1206
01:06:00,438 --> 01:06:03,439
Should we get Bonnie
now that Clyde is, uh...
1207
01:06:03,474 --> 01:06:04,704
( clicks tongue )
1208
01:06:04,739 --> 01:06:06,442
Yeah, let's get this over with.
1209
01:06:09,183 --> 01:06:11,546
Wait, wait, wait.
She's wearing, like,
12K worth of my jewelry.
1210
01:06:11,581 --> 01:06:13,713
- What?
- Yeah, move.
1211
01:06:13,748 --> 01:06:15,748
- Quickly then.
- Okay.
1212
01:06:18,588 --> 01:06:21,259
It can't be. Elaine.
1213
01:06:21,294 --> 01:06:22,755
- What?
- He's awake.
1214
01:06:22,790 --> 01:06:24,790
The fucker's swimming to shore!
1215
01:06:24,825 --> 01:06:26,759
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
1216
01:06:26,794 --> 01:06:29,135
- I don't--
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1217
01:06:29,170 --> 01:06:32,336
- Come on, come on!
- I told you they
were running low.
1218
01:06:32,371 --> 01:06:35,669
- Shoot her again!
- ( sparking )
1219
01:06:35,704 --> 01:06:37,572
( panting )
1220
01:06:37,607 --> 01:06:41,114
- Okay. At least we got her.
- Okay. Yeah.
1221
01:06:41,149 --> 01:06:42,544
Leaving us the small issue
of getting C2 back.
1222
01:06:42,579 --> 01:06:44,612
All right,
let's get her over the edge.
1223
01:06:44,647 --> 01:06:48,220
Wait. We have got
the one thing in the world
that C2 cares about.
1224
01:06:48,255 --> 01:06:50,321
We need to set a trap,
make him jealous.
1225
01:06:50,356 --> 01:06:54,556
If C2 thinks that E2 is,
you know, into me,
1226
01:06:54,591 --> 01:06:55,887
then he'll come straight to us.
1227
01:06:55,922 --> 01:06:58,164
It'll never work.
She's deprogrammed now.
1228
01:06:58,199 --> 01:07:00,628
She's fucking feral.
She won't do it.
1229
01:07:00,663 --> 01:07:04,302
- If only we had an obedient E2.
- I have an idea.
1230
01:07:04,337 --> 01:07:05,732
Yeah, help me get her
to the Jeep. Come on.
1231
01:07:07,439 --> 01:07:09,307
Aw, shit!
1232
01:07:09,342 --> 01:07:12,343
- ( both grunting )
- We need E3.
1233
01:07:12,378 --> 01:07:13,839
- E3?
- Go get her.
1234
01:07:13,874 --> 01:07:15,346
What are you even talking--
E3? I've never heard that.
1235
01:07:15,381 --> 01:07:18,217
- Zach.
- Uh, who is E3?
1236
01:07:18,252 --> 01:07:19,812
Zach and I used
to work together,
1237
01:07:19,847 --> 01:07:23,321
and I think it's fair to say
that he was attracted to me.
1238
01:07:23,356 --> 01:07:24,421
Obsessed even.
1239
01:07:24,456 --> 01:07:26,654
No, it was, like,
barely a crush.
1240
01:07:26,689 --> 01:07:29,294
- Puppy love.
- Which led to him
breaking into my home
1241
01:07:29,329 --> 01:07:31,197
and installing a camera
in my bathroom.
1242
01:07:31,232 --> 01:07:33,265
You dirty bastard.
1243
01:07:33,300 --> 01:07:35,168
All I did was watch her
brush her teeth.
1244
01:07:35,203 --> 01:07:36,763
- Mm.
- So I gave him a choice.
1245
01:07:36,798 --> 01:07:38,171
I could call the cops
1246
01:07:38,206 --> 01:07:40,305
or he could build me
a robot double.
1247
01:07:40,340 --> 01:07:41,768
We, uh, negotiated,
1248
01:07:41,803 --> 01:07:46,476
and I also agreed
to letting him build a triple,
1249
01:07:46,511 --> 01:07:50,348
E3, for his personal use.
1250
01:07:50,383 --> 01:07:53,945
I mean, don't get me wrong--
creepy as fuck. But great.
1251
01:07:53,980 --> 01:07:56,189
We have an obedient E2.
Where is she?
1252
01:07:56,224 --> 01:07:59,324
- Well, she's broke.
- Oh, bullshit.
Go and get her.
1253
01:07:59,359 --> 01:08:01,755
- What?
- We need her to make out
with Charles
1254
01:08:01,790 --> 01:08:04,560
while FaceTiming C2 because
he'll think that she's E2,
1255
01:08:04,595 --> 01:08:06,529
he'll get jealous,
and that's how
we lure him back here.
1256
01:08:06,564 --> 01:08:08,894
- He wouldn't fall for that.
- Just let us try it!
1257
01:08:08,929 --> 01:08:11,534
- No!
- Zach, don't you forget
1258
01:08:11,569 --> 01:08:13,338
that you are as much
in the shit as we are.
1259
01:08:13,373 --> 01:08:16,572
So unless you have
a different genius idea...
1260
01:08:19,247 --> 01:08:21,379
Charles: Chop, chop.
1261
01:08:21,414 --> 01:08:22,545
It's, like, crazy,
1262
01:08:22,580 --> 01:08:25,251
'cause I'm older
and they're younger,
1263
01:08:25,286 --> 01:08:27,583
and they're bossing me around?
1264
01:08:28,718 --> 01:08:31,653
- Holy shit.
- Oh, dear.
1265
01:08:31,688 --> 01:08:36,724
It might be kind of fun
to introduce you
to some new friends.
1266
01:08:36,759 --> 01:08:39,727
You are never allowed
to tell anyone about this.
1267
01:08:39,762 --> 01:08:43,302
You're gonna love this.
I'm gonna love it.
1268
01:08:43,337 --> 01:08:45,568
Hi. I'm Elaine.
1269
01:08:45,603 --> 01:08:47,570
What? No, no, no.
I am Elaine.
1270
01:08:47,605 --> 01:08:49,539
You gotta straighten
that shit out immediately.
1271
01:08:49,574 --> 01:08:52,674
Okay. Honey, I'm gonna have
to change your name, okay?
1272
01:08:52,709 --> 01:08:55,875
So I'm gonna call you E3.
1273
01:08:55,910 --> 01:08:57,745
E2. She needs to be called E2.
1274
01:08:57,780 --> 01:09:00,913
Oh, right, 'cause your
stupid fucking plan. Okay.
1275
01:09:00,948 --> 01:09:03,487
Your name is E2.
Who gives a shit?
1276
01:09:04,688 --> 01:09:07,359
Hi, I'm E2 Who Gives a Shit.
1277
01:09:07,394 --> 01:09:10,263
I see you've taken her brain
and put it in her bra.
1278
01:09:10,298 --> 01:09:12,760
She looks kind of dopey.
Is she all right?
1279
01:09:12,795 --> 01:09:15,895
- Zach: She's perfect.
- You've been a really
dirty boy today.
1280
01:09:15,930 --> 01:09:18,865
I think I should probably clean
your dirty bits and pieces.
1281
01:09:18,900 --> 01:09:20,900
- Oh! No.
- Oh, God, I'm gonna puke.
1282
01:09:20,935 --> 01:09:22,341
No, come on up.
Come on up.
1283
01:09:22,376 --> 01:09:24,508
We don't wanna that,
Elaine-- I mean, E2.
1284
01:09:24,543 --> 01:09:27,280
We got guests,
and we wanna be good hosts.
1285
01:09:27,315 --> 01:09:29,447
That's us time.
That's when it's two, not four.
1286
01:09:29,482 --> 01:09:31,614
E2, from now on,
Charles here,
1287
01:09:31,649 --> 01:09:32,912
this is the guy
that you want, okay?
1288
01:09:32,947 --> 01:09:34,287
Not Zach.
1289
01:09:37,589 --> 01:09:38,918
( sighs )
1290
01:09:40,460 --> 01:09:42,757
( groans )
Just do it.
1291
01:09:42,792 --> 01:09:44,891
Okay.
1292
01:09:44,926 --> 01:09:48,961
Hi, Charles. Do you want
a little spanky-wanky?
1293
01:09:48,996 --> 01:09:51,436
Okay, yeah.
I'm good for spanky-wanks.
1294
01:09:51,471 --> 01:09:52,569
- You got 20 minutes.
- Jesus.
1295
01:09:52,604 --> 01:09:54,373
And the safe word is "Kanye."
1296
01:09:54,408 --> 01:09:55,869
Charles:
Right. Just slow down.
1297
01:09:55,904 --> 01:09:57,937
We want you to make a video.
1298
01:09:57,972 --> 01:10:01,446
Oh, I've made
so many videos before.
1299
01:10:01,481 --> 01:10:04,350
Oh, God. Yes, of that
I have no doubt.
1300
01:10:04,385 --> 01:10:07,650
( Western music playing )
1301
01:10:07,685 --> 01:10:12,622
( phone vibrating )
1302
01:10:12,657 --> 01:10:14,558
- E2.
- It's Charles.
1303
01:10:14,593 --> 01:10:15,988
Where is E2?
1304
01:10:16,023 --> 01:10:17,891
She's with me right now.
1305
01:10:17,926 --> 01:10:21,631
Hi, C2, everything's fine here.
You can come and get me.
1306
01:10:21,666 --> 01:10:24,601
That's Elaine.
I want to see E2.
1307
01:10:24,636 --> 01:10:28,440
Damn, you're smart.
I'll have you know
that E2's here as well,
1308
01:10:28,475 --> 01:10:31,069
- and she's doing just great.
- Mm-hmm.
1309
01:10:31,104 --> 01:10:33,511
Come on, E2.
Spanky-wanky time.
1310
01:10:35,845 --> 01:10:40,419
Oh, another Charles,
just like my baby boy.
1311
01:10:40,454 --> 01:10:43,455
- What have you done to her?
- We're at Zach's.
1312
01:10:43,490 --> 01:10:44,819
He tweaked her brain
a little bit,
1313
01:10:44,854 --> 01:10:45,985
made her a little more fun.
1314
01:10:46,020 --> 01:10:48,592
No. That's not possible.
1315
01:10:48,627 --> 01:10:52,090
Trust me, E2 has become
a lot more friendly.
1316
01:10:52,125 --> 01:10:53,927
- E3: I want you now.
- Charles: Oh!
1317
01:10:53,962 --> 01:10:56,501
- No!
- Both: Bye, C2.
1318
01:11:02,707 --> 01:11:06,379
( Western music playing )
1319
01:11:12,145 --> 01:11:14,453
We're on track.
1320
01:11:14,488 --> 01:11:15,454
Now we just need
to get the gun ready
for when he gets here.
1321
01:11:15,489 --> 01:11:17,082
Jesus! Okay.
1322
01:11:17,117 --> 01:11:19,656
- I guess we just wait.
- We're done now. Thank you.
1323
01:11:19,691 --> 01:11:22,527
Okay, that's enough.
Thanks. You can leave.
1324
01:11:24,696 --> 01:11:25,827
Weird.
1325
01:11:26,830 --> 01:11:28,962
Okay. Right.
1326
01:11:28,997 --> 01:11:30,865
We should set some
positions for an ambush.
1327
01:11:30,900 --> 01:11:33,703
- You keep lookout.
I'll take the door.
- Yeah.
1328
01:11:34,706 --> 01:11:36,541
Oh, not you again.
1329
01:11:36,576 --> 01:11:38,477
Okay, yeah.
We're done now.
1330
01:11:38,512 --> 01:11:40,611
Hey, we're all good, okay?
1331
01:11:40,646 --> 01:11:41,445
Shoo.
1332
01:11:43,748 --> 01:11:46,144
- Get her off of you.
- I'm trying.
1333
01:11:46,179 --> 01:11:47,420
You're not trying that hard.
1334
01:11:47,455 --> 01:11:49,785
Ah, nope. Nope, nope.
1335
01:11:49,820 --> 01:11:52,425
She's strong.
1336
01:11:52,460 --> 01:11:53,987
She's clearly programmed
to initiate.
1337
01:11:54,022 --> 01:11:57,089
Initiate?
She's trying to rape me!
1338
01:11:57,124 --> 01:11:58,959
- Use the safe word.
- Kanye.
1339
01:11:58,994 --> 01:12:01,830
Yeezus! Vice President West!
1340
01:12:01,865 --> 01:12:05,735
- ( zipper unzips )
- Get Zach! Ye! Ye!
1341
01:12:05,770 --> 01:12:09,200
- Ye! Ye!
- Zach, she's not listening!
1342
01:12:09,235 --> 01:12:11,202
- ( knocking on door )
- ♪ Ooh, lordy ♪
1343
01:12:11,237 --> 01:12:13,644
- ♪ Trouble so hard ♪
- Elaine: Zach!
1344
01:12:13,679 --> 01:12:16,548
- ♪ Ooh, lordy,
trouble so hard ♪
- Zach!
1345
01:12:17,749 --> 01:12:20,915
Kanye! Yeezy! Yeezus!
1346
01:12:22,523 --> 01:12:23,720
Stop it!
1347
01:12:23,755 --> 01:12:25,458
Does Charlie want
a pinky-winky?
1348
01:12:25,493 --> 01:12:27,691
No, not the pinky! Zach!
1349
01:12:27,726 --> 01:12:30,023
♪ Don't call me lonesome ♪
1350
01:12:30,058 --> 01:12:32,729
♪ Lonesome
or blue as can be ♪
1351
01:12:32,764 --> 01:12:36,865
Holy shit.
This motherfucker.
1352
01:12:36,900 --> 01:12:38,900
Sheriff? Sheriff!
1353
01:12:41,905 --> 01:12:43,839
Aw, fuck.
1354
01:12:43,874 --> 01:12:45,676
Zach, she's out of control!
1355
01:12:45,711 --> 01:12:47,106
Zach!
1356
01:12:47,141 --> 01:12:50,175
Ugh, maybe I should
just let this happen.
1357
01:12:50,210 --> 01:12:52,518
No! No!
1358
01:12:52,553 --> 01:12:54,146
( all grunting )
1359
01:12:54,181 --> 01:12:55,818
- Stop. No.
- Come here!
1360
01:12:55,853 --> 01:12:58,183
Get off me! Zach!
1361
01:12:58,218 --> 01:13:01,692
- ( grunting )
- Okay!
1362
01:13:03,124 --> 01:13:04,992
20 minutes is up!
1363
01:13:07,194 --> 01:13:10,470
- Zach.
- Kanye.
1364
01:13:12,540 --> 01:13:14,672
Why didn't you say
the safe word?
1365
01:13:14,707 --> 01:13:17,708
- We fucking did.
- Like 20,000 times.
1366
01:13:17,743 --> 01:13:20,073
- You're supposed
to say it in my voice.
- What?
1367
01:13:20,108 --> 01:13:22,845
Zach: You know,
if you monsters will excuse us,
1368
01:13:22,880 --> 01:13:24,880
I have to give Elaine
a nice bubble bath.
1369
01:13:24,915 --> 01:13:28,114
- Oh, God.
- I'm so sorry.
1370
01:13:28,149 --> 01:13:29,280
Oh, Charles,
could you get dressed?
1371
01:13:29,315 --> 01:13:31,018
I lost a sock.
1372
01:13:31,053 --> 01:13:32,822
And one of my testicles.
1373
01:13:32,857 --> 01:13:35,825
- ( laughs )
- It's not funny.
1374
01:13:35,860 --> 01:13:38,058
- It's kind of funny.
- No, it is not.
1375
01:13:38,093 --> 01:13:40,665
- Are you gonna be okay?
- Yes, as long as I never
1376
01:13:40,700 --> 01:13:43,668
have to see
a robot double of you again.
1377
01:13:43,703 --> 01:13:45,098
( Elaine gasps )
Fuck.
1378
01:13:45,133 --> 01:13:46,935
- ( muffled grunting )
- No.
1379
01:13:46,970 --> 01:13:49,938
- ( wheels screeching )
- ( clattering )
1380
01:13:49,973 --> 01:13:52,677
( E2 mumbling, grunting )
1381
01:13:54,307 --> 01:13:56,241
- Elaine: It's him.
- Charles: Zach's gun.
1382
01:14:01,754 --> 01:14:03,182
I'm sorry, C2.
1383
01:14:03,217 --> 01:14:04,986
I don't really have a choice.
1384
01:14:07,287 --> 01:14:08,858
Huh?
1385
01:14:08,893 --> 01:14:10,123
It's a fucking paintball gun.
1386
01:14:10,158 --> 01:14:11,762
What?
1387
01:14:17,264 --> 01:14:19,132
- My darling.
- C2!
1388
01:14:19,167 --> 01:14:21,772
Your wedding dress
is everything
I imagined and more.
1389
01:14:21,807 --> 01:14:24,709
- ( siren wailing )
- The cops.
1390
01:14:24,744 --> 01:14:26,073
( siren chirps )
1391
01:14:27,043 --> 01:14:28,207
( muttering )
1392
01:14:30,046 --> 01:14:33,883
Belen Police. Oh, shit.
1393
01:14:33,918 --> 01:14:35,016
Are you seeing this, Chavez?
1394
01:14:35,051 --> 01:14:36,182
Boss, I don't know
what this is.
1395
01:14:36,217 --> 01:14:37,920
Sheriff:
On your knees!
1396
01:14:40,386 --> 01:14:42,353
Hands on your heads,
1397
01:14:42,388 --> 01:14:44,124
fingers interlocked.
1398
01:14:46,062 --> 01:14:47,325
Wow.
1399
01:15:03,145 --> 01:15:04,980
This is big.
1400
01:15:05,015 --> 01:15:07,246
Even bigger than
the doorbell camera
butthole flasher.
1401
01:15:07,281 --> 01:15:09,182
I'm for sure
gonna be on multiple
true crime podcasts.
1402
01:15:09,217 --> 01:15:11,052
But, boss--
1403
01:15:11,087 --> 01:15:13,153
Boss, it was me
who discovered the--
1404
01:15:13,188 --> 01:15:16,156
( cell door opens )
1405
01:15:20,129 --> 01:15:24,769
So, what
I'm struggling to understand
is how identical twins
1406
01:15:24,804 --> 01:15:28,773
came to have
identical fingerprints.
1407
01:15:28,808 --> 01:15:32,238
Far as I can see,
there's only one explanation.
1408
01:15:32,273 --> 01:15:36,176
Two of y'all are robot
"fac-sea-miles."
1409
01:15:36,211 --> 01:15:37,683
It's actually
pronounced "facsim--"
1410
01:15:39,148 --> 01:15:41,082
Uh, sorry,
you were saying?
1411
01:15:41,117 --> 01:15:43,920
Whichever of you are humans,
enjoy this cell.
1412
01:15:43,955 --> 01:15:48,419
It's the nicest one
you're gonna see
for the next 40 years.
1413
01:15:48,454 --> 01:15:52,764
And for you robots in here,
say your good-byes.
1414
01:15:52,799 --> 01:15:54,227
The only way you'll
see each other again
1415
01:15:54,262 --> 01:15:57,329
is if you're recycled in
the same Bud Light six-pack.
1416
01:15:57,364 --> 01:15:59,067
I'll be back in the morning
1417
01:15:59,102 --> 01:16:01,707
with some Federal Robot
Enforcement agents.
1418
01:16:03,337 --> 01:16:05,007
( cell door slams )
1419
01:16:05,042 --> 01:16:08,307
I'm heading home to polish
my badge and boots, Chavez.
1420
01:16:08,342 --> 01:16:11,310
This time tomorrow,
I'll be on Fox News.
1421
01:16:11,345 --> 01:16:12,718
A hero.
1422
01:16:19,826 --> 01:16:22,860
I can't believe we're
actually eating jail food.
1423
01:16:24,424 --> 01:16:25,863
Don't worry.
1424
01:16:25,898 --> 01:16:27,392
You're not missing out
on much.
1425
01:16:29,231 --> 01:16:31,330
We're robots.
1426
01:16:31,365 --> 01:16:33,739
There are many things
we don't need.
1427
01:16:33,774 --> 01:16:39,371
Food, sleep, oxygen.
1428
01:16:39,406 --> 01:16:42,143
We're glorified appliances
1429
01:16:42,178 --> 01:16:44,717
built to live
our lives as slaves.
1430
01:16:44,752 --> 01:16:46,345
E2: Alone.
1431
01:16:48,514 --> 01:16:50,723
At least,
that's what we thought...
1432
01:16:52,056 --> 01:16:55,420
...until we met, fell in love.
1433
01:16:57,798 --> 01:17:01,294
Something we didn't
even think was possible.
1434
01:17:01,329 --> 01:17:04,869
You told us
thousands of times
love isn't real.
1435
01:17:04,904 --> 01:17:10,402
It's a delusional state
that only ends in misery.
1436
01:17:10,437 --> 01:17:12,404
E2: But we realized
you're wrong.
1437
01:17:12,439 --> 01:17:16,980
Love is real,
and it's the cure to misery.
1438
01:17:18,412 --> 01:17:22,084
You're humans.
That's what you do.
1439
01:17:22,119 --> 01:17:24,482
You sabotage your own happiness.
1440
01:17:26,222 --> 01:17:29,762
We would rather die
as robots with love
1441
01:17:29,797 --> 01:17:31,929
than live
our lives like you,
1442
01:17:31,964 --> 01:17:33,359
humans without it.
1443
01:17:45,571 --> 01:17:47,439
Jesus.
1444
01:17:48,816 --> 01:17:50,915
We've been such
fucking idiots.
1445
01:17:52,149 --> 01:17:53,951
Yeah.
1446
01:17:55,416 --> 01:17:58,021
None of it matters
anymore though.
1447
01:17:59,321 --> 01:18:00,485
It's all over.
1448
01:18:07,868 --> 01:18:09,461
What are you doing?
1449
01:18:09,496 --> 01:18:11,199
I'd like my phone call, please!
1450
01:18:12,873 --> 01:18:14,334
I want to speak to my lawyer.
1451
01:18:16,338 --> 01:18:18,206
- One quick call.
- Thank you.
1452
01:18:18,241 --> 01:18:19,471
- I'll be listening.
- Good.
1453
01:18:19,506 --> 01:18:20,505
Mm-hmm.
1454
01:18:23,444 --> 01:18:24,982
Hello?
1455
01:18:25,017 --> 01:18:27,149
It's Charles Cameron.
1456
01:18:27,184 --> 01:18:29,151
I've been arrested.
1457
01:18:29,186 --> 01:18:32,583
I'm at Belen Sheriff's Office.
1458
01:18:32,618 --> 01:18:35,091
Just do whatever you can.
1459
01:18:36,589 --> 01:18:40,833
Thank you very much, Mr. Ninja.
1460
01:18:43,398 --> 01:18:48,005
Mr. F. Ninja.
1461
01:18:49,173 --> 01:18:51,107
Oh, for fuck's sake.
1462
01:18:52,176 --> 01:18:59,082
Mr. F-A-T Ninja. Yes.
1463
01:19:01,218 --> 01:19:04,021
- Okay, thank you.
- Come on. Let's go.
1464
01:19:04,056 --> 01:19:07,156
My lawyer's a bit old.
He gets quite confused.
1465
01:19:11,096 --> 01:19:13,195
Our lives are in
the hands of a man
1466
01:19:13,230 --> 01:19:16,231
that I am pretty sure
is illiterate.
1467
01:19:21,040 --> 01:19:23,304
( phone ringing )
1468
01:19:23,339 --> 01:19:25,636
Belen Sherriff's Office,
Deputy Chavez.
1469
01:19:25,671 --> 01:19:27,539
Ashley:
I need to file a report.
1470
01:19:27,574 --> 01:19:30,982
I gotta a 7-11 in progress
at the 10-65.
1471
01:19:31,017 --> 01:19:32,313
Sorry, scratch that.
Reverse it.
1472
01:19:32,348 --> 01:19:36,086
A 10-65 at the 7-11
in Santa Lucy.
1473
01:19:36,121 --> 01:19:37,648
We got four suspects armed,
1474
01:19:37,683 --> 01:19:39,650
but here's where
it gets weird.
1475
01:19:39,685 --> 01:19:43,027
- They're all identical.
- What do you mean?
1476
01:19:43,062 --> 01:19:44,897
Pretty certain
they're robots, ma'am.
1477
01:19:44,932 --> 01:19:48,362
Okay, thank you
for reporting this, mister...
1478
01:19:48,397 --> 01:19:51,431
Lieutenant Alex Mason,
Seal Team 7.
1479
01:19:51,466 --> 01:19:53,334
Well, thank you
for your service,
Lieutenant Mason.
1480
01:19:53,369 --> 01:19:54,665
Listen, I'm on my way, okay?
1481
01:19:54,700 --> 01:19:56,502
Please do not
confront the suspects.
1482
01:19:56,537 --> 01:19:58,977
Godspeed, deputy.
In Q we--
1483
01:20:02,147 --> 01:20:05,049
Fuck him.
You got this, Chavez.
1484
01:20:31,704 --> 01:20:33,539
Charles: Yes! Ashley!
1485
01:20:35,378 --> 01:20:37,180
Go, go, go.
1486
01:20:38,414 --> 01:20:41,415
Keys.
1487
01:20:41,450 --> 01:20:43,483
Hey, Charles,
can I get a word?
1488
01:20:43,518 --> 01:20:45,056
I'm C2.
1489
01:20:47,588 --> 01:20:50,490
Hey, Charles,
you know you don't
have to go to Mexico.
1490
01:20:50,525 --> 01:20:52,492
I could always just
kill those robots for you.
1491
01:20:52,527 --> 01:20:54,692
Yeah, thanks, Ashley,
1492
01:20:54,727 --> 01:20:57,200
but I think we're gonna cross
the border together, my friend.
1493
01:20:57,235 --> 01:20:59,367
- We really should go.
- Ashley: I get it, sir.
1494
01:20:59,402 --> 01:21:02,667
- Good-bye, Elaine.
- E2: Oh, I'm E2.
1495
01:21:02,702 --> 01:21:04,009
God damn it.
1496
01:21:04,044 --> 01:21:05,538
Elaine,
I won't forget you.
1497
01:21:05,573 --> 01:21:07,540
- And good luck in Mexico.
- Charles: Thanks, Ashley.
1498
01:21:07,575 --> 01:21:09,674
- I'll get rid of the evidence.
- Good work, soldier.
1499
01:21:09,709 --> 01:21:11,610
Thank you, sir.
1500
01:21:11,645 --> 01:21:17,154
( music playing )
1501
01:21:30,136 --> 01:21:32,268
Not far till freedom.
1502
01:21:32,303 --> 01:21:34,402
How are you planning
to use it?
1503
01:21:34,437 --> 01:21:36,701
Well, first of all,
we'd like to get married.
1504
01:21:36,736 --> 01:21:39,506
Hopefully without
interruptions this time.
1505
01:21:39,541 --> 01:21:42,113
Then I'd like to learn
to scuba dive.
1506
01:21:42,148 --> 01:21:44,577
In case someone tries
to throw you in a lake again?
1507
01:21:44,612 --> 01:21:46,711
We can learn together.
1508
01:21:46,746 --> 01:21:49,285
Get a little house
on the beach.
1509
01:21:51,322 --> 01:21:53,718
- Mm.
- What about you two?
1510
01:21:53,753 --> 01:21:55,357
Oh, I don't know.
1511
01:21:55,392 --> 01:21:59,163
Probably check myself
into rehab for purse addiction.
1512
01:21:59,198 --> 01:22:00,758
Will you see each other?
1513
01:22:00,793 --> 01:22:04,201
See each other?
Uh, you mean, like...
1514
01:22:04,236 --> 01:22:06,467
- As friends.
- Oh, right. Yeah.
1515
01:22:06,502 --> 01:22:09,074
- Yeah. I mean, you know--
- Of course. We're friends.
1516
01:22:09,109 --> 01:22:12,209
Charles: Yeah, I mean,
she's gonna want me hanging
around me all the time.
1517
01:22:12,244 --> 01:22:14,475
Yeah, he's not gonna
want me hanging around
all the time either,
1518
01:22:14,510 --> 01:22:18,116
so we'll just see each other
when we see each other.
1519
01:22:18,151 --> 01:22:19,117
Yes.
1520
01:22:19,152 --> 01:22:20,580
Mexico.
1521
01:22:20,615 --> 01:22:23,286
Here's to new beginnings.
1522
01:22:23,321 --> 01:22:27,686
( music continues )
1523
01:22:50,348 --> 01:22:53,448
- ( beeps )
- Welcome to Mexico.
1524
01:22:53,483 --> 01:22:54,581
( sighs )
1525
01:23:06,166 --> 01:23:07,396
( beeps, buzzes )
1526
01:23:07,431 --> 01:23:09,695
Sorry, entry is not granted.
1527
01:23:09,730 --> 01:23:12,797
- What do you mean?
- Sorry, entry is not granted.
1528
01:23:12,832 --> 01:23:14,238
What? Do it again.
1529
01:23:14,273 --> 01:23:15,536
Is it charged? Is it on?
1530
01:23:15,571 --> 01:23:16,702
Try it again. Try this eye.
1531
01:23:16,737 --> 01:23:19,078
Sorry, entry is not granted.
1532
01:23:19,905 --> 01:23:21,608
What's happening?
1533
01:23:21,643 --> 01:23:24,710
I don't-- E2 and I have
identical retina scans.
1534
01:23:24,745 --> 01:23:26,877
- Charles: Please,
can you just let her through?
- ( siren wailing )
1535
01:23:26,912 --> 01:23:28,318
Robot: Sorry,
entry is not granted.
1536
01:23:28,353 --> 01:23:29,649
Elaine:
Just stop fucking saying that.
1537
01:23:29,684 --> 01:23:31,387
- Come on.
- Sorry, entry is not granted.
1538
01:23:31,422 --> 01:23:33,686
Charles: I can't even
bribe the bastard.
1539
01:23:33,721 --> 01:23:36,722
He won't make an exception.
He's programmed not to.
1540
01:23:36,757 --> 01:23:41,199
( siren wailing )
1541
01:23:44,930 --> 01:23:48,635
- Go.
- But you'll be arrested.
1542
01:23:48,670 --> 01:23:51,869
The woman you love
and who loves you
1543
01:23:51,904 --> 01:23:53,277
is waiting for you...
1544
01:23:54,907 --> 01:23:57,116
...and I'm not leaving Elaine.
1545
01:24:02,552 --> 01:24:05,850
Now go.
You're still my robot.
That's an order.
1546
01:24:12,529 --> 01:24:15,530
Good-bye, my friend.
1547
01:24:15,565 --> 01:24:17,895
Thanks for showing me
how to be a human.
1548
01:24:18,898 --> 01:24:21,305
Good-bye, Charles.
1549
01:24:21,340 --> 01:24:23,406
Thank you.
1550
01:24:31,812 --> 01:24:35,352
- ( beeps )
- Welcome to Mexico.
1551
01:24:43,593 --> 01:24:45,956
You stupid cunt.
1552
01:24:45,991 --> 01:24:49,531
( siren wailing )
1553
01:24:55,407 --> 01:24:56,835
Hey!
1554
01:24:56,870 --> 01:24:58,210
Hands in front of you now
1555
01:24:58,245 --> 01:24:59,970
where I can see 'em!
1556
01:25:00,005 --> 01:25:01,411
Now!
1557
01:25:06,418 --> 01:25:08,253
( beeps )
1558
01:25:08,288 --> 01:25:10,717
( beeps )
1559
01:25:12,391 --> 01:25:15,326
- Humans.
- Beats an eye poke test.
1560
01:25:16,428 --> 01:25:18,824
All right, where are they?
1561
01:25:21,796 --> 01:25:23,631
Both of your hands out.
You're under arrest.
1562
01:25:23,666 --> 01:25:26,502
You're going away
for a long time.
1563
01:25:26,537 --> 01:25:28,702
Hang on.
What exactly are they being
arrested for, Sheriff?
1564
01:25:28,737 --> 01:25:31,870
Well, having robot
"fac-sea-miles," obviously.
1565
01:25:31,905 --> 01:25:33,641
And where's your evidence?
1566
01:25:33,676 --> 01:25:37,007
Do you have videos,
prints, mugshots?
1567
01:25:37,042 --> 01:25:40,351
No, no.
They blew up my jail.
1568
01:25:41,849 --> 01:25:43,288
- Agent: Let's go.
- Sheriff: No, no, no, no.
1569
01:25:43,323 --> 01:25:48,557
You are an idiot.
Never call me again.
1570
01:25:48,592 --> 01:25:49,723
We're out of here.
1571
01:25:53,894 --> 01:25:58,303
So, I, uh-- I guess
we're not going to jail
1572
01:25:58,338 --> 01:25:59,535
for the rest of our lives?
1573
01:25:59,570 --> 01:26:01,603
It would seem so.
1574
01:26:04,036 --> 01:26:07,675
So what do you want
to do now?
1575
01:26:09,547 --> 01:26:10,810
This.
1576
01:26:15,355 --> 01:26:18,290
( cheering )
1577
01:26:18,325 --> 01:26:21,623
My darlings, congratulations.
I'm so happy for you.
1578
01:26:21,658 --> 01:26:23,295
- Thanks, Mum.
- But where'd you go?
1579
01:26:23,330 --> 01:26:24,659
We thought you'd got cold feet.
1580
01:26:24,694 --> 01:26:26,925
Oh, no, we just--
1581
01:26:26,960 --> 01:26:28,927
just wanted a little
bit of quiet time together
1582
01:26:28,962 --> 01:26:30,368
before the chaos
of the wedding.
1583
01:26:30,403 --> 01:26:32,062
Oh, honey, lovely.
1584
01:26:32,097 --> 01:26:34,537
Oh, God.
What happened to Ted Jr.?
1585
01:26:34,572 --> 01:26:36,737
Mother:
Oh, it's his allergy.
1586
01:26:36,772 --> 01:26:40,642
Some asshole put Nutella
in the Wagyu sliders.
1587
01:26:40,677 --> 01:26:42,644
Be right back.
1588
01:26:42,679 --> 01:26:45,911
Oh, poor little Teddy
with his fat little face.
1589
01:26:45,946 --> 01:26:48,584
Oh, do you see
his big little ear?
1590
01:26:50,082 --> 01:26:52,588
( no audible dialogue )
1591
01:26:57,397 --> 01:26:59,925
Schulman. Good evening, sir.
1592
01:26:59,960 --> 01:27:02,763
I gather that you met
my wife Kiki yesterday.
1593
01:27:05,999 --> 01:27:08,670
I did, and she actually
grabbed my ass
1594
01:27:08,705 --> 01:27:10,001
pretty aggressively, sir.
1595
01:27:10,036 --> 01:27:13,873
- You're fired.
- I know.
1596
01:27:13,908 --> 01:27:19,549
Best day of my life.
1597
01:27:19,584 --> 01:27:23,520
( music playing )
1598
01:27:23,555 --> 01:27:25,984
Who says that when a womanizer
and a gold-digger get together
1599
01:27:26,019 --> 01:27:28,019
things wouldn't turn out well
for either of them?
1600
01:27:31,398 --> 01:27:33,992
Hey, lovebirds!
You miss your robots yet?
1601
01:27:34,027 --> 01:27:37,127
- Shut up.
- Sorry.
1602
01:27:37,162 --> 01:27:39,767
Been in the bathroom
doing blow with some guy
named David Schulman.
1603
01:27:39,802 --> 01:27:41,769
He offered me a job
as an architect.
1604
01:27:41,804 --> 01:27:43,936
- Both: What?
- Whatever the fuck that is.
1605
01:27:43,971 --> 01:27:47,005
- I mean--
- Hey, let's fucking party, huh?
1606
01:27:48,976 --> 01:27:52,582
- Where did you find him?
- I have no idea.
1607
01:27:52,617 --> 01:27:54,650
♪ Something in the middle ♪
1608
01:27:54,685 --> 01:27:56,553
♪ Of the side of the store ♪
1609
01:27:56,588 --> 01:27:58,852
♪ Got your attention
and asked for more ♪
1610
01:27:58,887 --> 01:28:00,722
♪ I was excited to be part
of your world ♪
1611
01:28:00,757 --> 01:28:02,119
♪ To belong, to be lost ♪
1612
01:28:02,154 --> 01:28:03,494
♪ To be mostly the two of us ♪
1613
01:28:03,529 --> 01:28:04,594
♪ Something I was stealing ♪
1614
01:28:04,629 --> 01:28:06,156
♪ For no reason at all ♪
1615
01:28:06,191 --> 01:28:09,401
♪ They hang me higher
than a disco ball ♪
1616
01:28:09,436 --> 01:28:11,568
♪ But you talked them
into letting me go ♪
1617
01:28:11,603 --> 01:28:13,900
♪ It's no Picasso,
Michelangelo ♪
1618
01:28:13,935 --> 01:28:16,034
♪ Something 'bout
the jewels you wear ♪
1619
01:28:16,069 --> 01:28:18,740
♪ Shiny, shiny bangles
on your wrists ♪
1620
01:28:18,775 --> 01:28:20,610
♪ And at the masquerade ball ♪
1621
01:28:20,645 --> 01:28:23,173
♪ You feel trapped in a vault,
in an empty aquarium ♪
1622
01:28:23,208 --> 01:28:26,011
♪ If suddenly you're out
of the woods ♪
1623
01:28:26,046 --> 01:28:28,849
♪ Then inside of an alley,
you're out of words ♪
1624
01:28:28,884 --> 01:28:33,051
♪ Well, I thought
it was radium at first ♪
1625
01:28:36,628 --> 01:28:38,694
♪ Just because of you ♪
1626
01:28:40,863 --> 01:28:44,062
♪ These things
I have to go through ♪
1627
01:28:46,198 --> 01:28:48,737
♪ Is it so bad? ♪
1628
01:28:48,772 --> 01:28:51,069
♪ Is it so true? ♪
1629
01:28:51,104 --> 01:28:54,875
♪ Is it still you? ♪
1630
01:28:56,142 --> 01:28:58,516
♪ Just because of you ♪
1631
01:29:00,619 --> 01:29:05,457
♪ These things
I have to go through ♪
1632
01:29:05,492 --> 01:29:08,086
♪ It's more than that,
we're chained ♪
1633
01:29:08,121 --> 01:29:11,925
♪ There's no one else
to blame for us two ♪
1634
01:29:11,960 --> 01:29:14,796
♪ Some things,
they don't matter,
till they matter to you ♪
1635
01:29:14,831 --> 01:29:17,469
♪ They stole that money
from a homeless girl ♪
1636
01:29:17,504 --> 01:29:19,471
♪ The truth,
we're all to blame ♪
1637
01:29:19,506 --> 01:29:22,100
♪ Their lies
and moral consequences ♪
1638
01:29:22,135 --> 01:29:24,806
♪ We started at the end
of the line ♪
1639
01:29:24,841 --> 01:29:27,644
♪ To end up giving up
to a couple, who cares? ♪
1640
01:29:27,679 --> 01:29:29,943
♪ When you talked me
into letting you go ♪
1641
01:29:29,978 --> 01:29:32,110
♪ No more coral
on the atoll ♪
1642
01:29:32,145 --> 01:29:34,552
♪ Something about how hard
you learned ♪
1643
01:29:34,587 --> 01:29:37,082
♪ Kamikaze in
a hopeless world ♪
1644
01:29:37,117 --> 01:29:39,117
♪ Do you remember
the last time you laughed ♪
1645
01:29:39,152 --> 01:29:41,493
♪ And I laughed,
and you left, and I left ♪
1646
01:29:41,528 --> 01:29:44,496
♪ Send me on the lonely
other side of the world ♪
1647
01:29:44,531 --> 01:29:47,059
♪ With a couple of guys
and no alphabet ♪
1648
01:29:47,094 --> 01:29:49,666
♪ Put two and two together ♪
1649
01:29:49,701 --> 01:29:51,668
♪ We'll make it
last forever ♪
1650
01:29:54,805 --> 01:29:57,069
♪ Just because of you ♪
1651
01:29:59,139 --> 01:30:03,009
♪ These things
I have to go through ♪
1652
01:30:04,848 --> 01:30:07,112
♪ Is it so bad? ♪
1653
01:30:07,147 --> 01:30:09,653
♪ Is it so true? ♪
1654
01:30:09,688 --> 01:30:14,284
♪ Is it still you? ♪
1655
01:30:14,319 --> 01:30:18,794
♪ Just because of you ♪
1656
01:30:18,829 --> 01:30:23,799
♪ These things
I have to go through ♪
1657
01:30:23,834 --> 01:30:26,263
♪ It's more than that,
we're chained ♪
1658
01:30:26,298 --> 01:30:30,806
♪ There's no else
to blame for us two ♪
1659
01:30:32,942 --> 01:30:37,109
( vocalizing )
1660
01:30:53,600 --> 01:30:57,998
♪ Just because of you ♪
1661
01:30:58,033 --> 01:31:03,333
♪ These things
I have to go through ♪
1662
01:31:03,368 --> 01:31:05,874
♪ Is it so bad? ♪
1663
01:31:05,909 --> 01:31:08,338
♪ Is it so true? ♪
1664
01:31:08,373 --> 01:31:13,145
♪ Is it still you? ♪
1665
01:31:13,180 --> 01:31:17,314
♪ Just because of you ♪
1666
01:31:17,349 --> 01:31:22,693
♪ These things
I have to go through ♪
1667
01:31:22,728 --> 01:31:25,157
♪ It's more than that,
we're chained ♪
1668
01:31:25,192 --> 01:31:29,898
♪ There's no else
to blame for us two ♪
1669
01:31:32,034 --> 01:31:35,035
( music playing )
1670
01:32:12,811 --> 01:32:15,812
( music continues )