1 00:00:04,756 --> 00:00:07,925 - OMG, look at this little munchkin. 2 00:00:08,009 --> 00:00:09,135 - Oh, hey, Mrs. Band. 3 00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:10,928 - This is so cute I'm gonna barf. 4 00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:12,847 - I'm trying to help my Mom pay her electric bill. 5 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,182 I need $100. 6 00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,975 - He's got a hook, ladies and gentlemen. 7 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:18,394 Wow, you marketing genius. 8 00:00:18,478 --> 00:00:20,229 Well, how much have you made so far? 9 00:00:20,313 --> 00:00:21,856 - Zilch. You're my first customer. 10 00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:24,567 - "Zilch," he says. This kid with the lingo. 11 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,235 Look at you. 12 00:00:26,319 --> 00:00:28,362 You're adorable, you're hilarious, 13 00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:30,823 and you've got an eye for business. 14 00:00:30,907 --> 00:00:32,909 - I rarely get this much positive feedback. 15 00:00:32,992 --> 00:00:34,660 - Well, maybe you found your calling. 16 00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:38,164 I am honored to give you your very first dollar. 17 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,416 - Thank you so much. Do you want a large or a small? 18 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,168 - You know what? I don't even want the lemonade. 19 00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:45,046 That's how much I believe in you, you cutie patootie. 20 00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:46,380 - This is literally the best interaction 21 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:47,840 I've ever had with a person. 22 00:00:47,924 --> 00:00:50,343 - Get used to it, hun. You're going to the top. 23 00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:53,971 - I really found my calling. Finally nailing it. 24 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,223 [EDM playing] 25 00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:57,350 - Tombo. - Oh, hey, Rick, the neighbor. 26 00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,768 - What do you got going on, buddy? 27 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,520 The old lemonade stand, huh? - Yeah. 28 00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:02,104 You know, everyone seems pretty impressed. 29 00:01:02,188 --> 00:01:03,564 - Really? 30 00:01:03,648 --> 00:01:05,274 Tom, do you know what the word "patronizing" means? 31 00:01:05,358 --> 00:01:07,610 - No, it doesn't sound good. - No, it's not good. 32 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:10,279 In the real world, you would get slaughtered. 33 00:01:10,363 --> 00:01:11,572 - Slaughtered? 34 00:01:11,656 --> 00:01:13,241 - They would tear you a new a-hole. 35 00:01:13,324 --> 00:01:15,034 - Mo--most people would have been more encouraging. 36 00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:17,078 - Most people are idiots, Tom. 37 00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:19,372 I'm in advertising, okay? I make a lot of money. 38 00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:21,290 - Okay. - I bang a lot of chicks. 39 00:01:21,374 --> 00:01:25,002 And I've literally got Clio Awards coming out of my butt. 40 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:26,546 Tell me, do me a favor and just check. 41 00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:28,339 - Check what? - Whoops. Oh, what was that? 42 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,466 Did another Clio Award just come out of my butt? 43 00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:31,926 'Cause I've got too many. 44 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,678 - You carry one with you just to make that joke? 45 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:37,014 - Tom, why don't you come into my agency one day? 46 00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:40,893 I will have my team give you the tips on the lemonade stand 47 00:01:40,977 --> 00:01:42,395 like you were a real client. 48 00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:43,604 Does that sound fun? 49 00:01:43,688 --> 00:01:45,147 - I mean, fun is a strong word. 50 00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:47,066 I could use the help, though. I'll ask my mom. 51 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,526 - Okay, great. You know what? First, let's take a pic. 52 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,111 Ready? Rick pic if you will. 53 00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:51,362 - Rick pic? - Say, 54 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,864 "My lemonade stand sucked balls 55 00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:54,532 until Rick swooped in and saved the day." 56 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,950 - I'm not gonna say that. [camera shutter clicks] 57 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,660 - I love mentoring kids. 58 00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,453 There's--you know, there's no better feeling in the world. 59 00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:03,583 - ♪ Now as our poor young lungs deflate ♪ 60 00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:07,545 ♪ I'll admit I've gotten older ♪ 61 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:13,301 ♪ Mellowed out, chatting up those I used to hate ♪ 62 00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:15,803 ♪ ♪ 63 00:02:15,887 --> 00:02:20,141 ♪ The feeling that we're lost will always fade ♪ 64 00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:24,312 ♪ I present no explanations ♪ 65 00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:27,940 ♪ Can't expect our tired patience ♪ 66 00:02:28,024 --> 00:02:32,278 ♪ To satiate for long ♪ 67 00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:36,073 ♪ Therein lies a truth we can sip when we want ♪ 68 00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:40,202 ♪ Disciples of the flow, we can float anywhere ♪ 69 00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:45,625 - Guys, tiny little Tom here is my neighbor's kid 70 00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,335 and I promised that we would help him. 71 00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:49,378 So let's treat him like a real client, okay? 72 00:02:49,462 --> 00:02:51,297 - Happy to have you, Tom. Welcome. 73 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:52,965 - Jerry, please shut up. 74 00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:55,468 Little Tommy, Margaret here is our star creative director. 75 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,845 Mags, give Tom your first impressions. 76 00:02:57,929 --> 00:03:00,139 - Well, your table's great. 77 00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:02,350 And the name is fun. - Thank you. 78 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:05,895 - The only part I struggle with is right here. 79 00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:08,648 - The Tom part? - You got it, the Tom part. 80 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,191 [buzzer blares] 81 00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:13,152 You have a face that screams "I make bad lemonade." 82 00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:14,695 - Bad lemonade? - It says, 83 00:03:14,779 --> 00:03:16,238 "I'm making an inferior product 84 00:03:16,322 --> 00:03:17,490 and I don't really care." 85 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,241 - Thanks, Jerry. I got this. - Sorry. 86 00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:20,701 - Just to be clear, 87 00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:22,370 you guys are doing this to be nice or mean? 88 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:23,996 - Guys, flag on the play, let me step in here. 89 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,207 Jerry, dim the lights and grab me a cookie. 90 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,833 - Sure thing, boss. 91 00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:31,045 - Tom, what is lemonade? 92 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,172 Don't answer, please. Thank you. 93 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:36,968 Is it just a beverage or is it so much more? 94 00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:41,013 Maybe it's a reminder of a simpler time. 95 00:03:41,097 --> 00:03:43,641 [sentimental music] Lightning bugs. 96 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:46,018 Putting a card in the spoke of the wheels of your bike. 97 00:03:46,102 --> 00:03:50,064 A time when neighbors knew each other by name. 98 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:53,025 And the sound of children's laughter 99 00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:54,360 wafted through the air. 100 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:57,029 - So true. - Damn it, Jerry, please. 101 00:03:57,113 --> 00:03:58,072 Not when I'm going. 102 00:03:58,155 --> 00:03:59,657 - Oh, sorry. 103 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:03,744 - Tom, you need to offer people a window to that time. 104 00:04:03,828 --> 00:04:06,247 Like a comforting voice that says, 105 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,541 "It's going to be okay." 106 00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:13,045 What you need is an old man. 107 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:15,881 - Yes. Love it. 108 00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:17,800 - Jerry like-y that. - Old man. 109 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,594 That's the whole--that's the whole idea? You're done? 110 00:04:20,678 --> 00:04:22,221 - Tom, this is what we do for a living. 111 00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,890 Now, normally, we would charge $100,000 for that. 112 00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:28,019 Great meeting, guys. Really good. 113 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:29,353 - Thanks for doing this, Grandpa. 114 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:30,646 I really appreciate you helping out. 115 00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:32,732 - Oh, thank you for including me. 116 00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:34,692 This is gonna be so much fun. 117 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,235 - Just be yourself, chat people up. 118 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,612 Our brand is all about the simpler times. 119 00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,740 - It's my strong suit. - Hey, Ms. Munoz. 120 00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:43,242 - Hello. What's this? A new employee? 121 00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,411 - This is my adorable grandpa. 122 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:48,372 - So nice to meet you. - Let me tell you a story. 123 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,416 - Okay. - I had a lemonade stand 124 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:53,669 on this very block back in 1960. 125 00:04:53,753 --> 00:04:55,212 I charged a nickel. 126 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,964 - Mm. - My slogan was, 127 00:04:57,048 --> 00:05:00,926 "I like Ike, and you will like my lemonade." 128 00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,219 - I love it. 129 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,596 What a great story. - That's folky. 130 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,222 That's folksy stuff right there. 131 00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:07,767 - Give me two cups. - Wow, it's actually working. 132 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:10,144 We're up to $10. $90 to go. 133 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:13,314 - Denise, isn't this the cutest lemonade stand ever? 134 00:05:13,397 --> 00:05:16,358 - It's so sweet. I'm putting this on Instagram. 135 00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,652 - I once dated a girl named Denise. 136 00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:20,780 High school sweetheart. - Oh. 137 00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:23,574 - Had a caboose on her that wouldn't quit. 138 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,951 Just like you. Ho-ho-ho. 139 00:05:26,035 --> 00:05:27,119 - Did you just touch my rear end? 140 00:05:27,203 --> 00:05:28,704 - Wait, what? - Oh, no. 141 00:05:28,788 --> 00:05:31,248 I was just jabbering on about my old sweetheart. 142 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,292 - Oh, uh-uh, uh-uh. No, I saw it. 143 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,669 He grabbed her rear end and squeezed it. 144 00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:37,296 What the hell, Tom? 145 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:38,756 - He's just being folksy. He's being folksy. 146 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,382 It's like--like in the good old days. 147 00:05:40,466 --> 00:05:41,759 - [scoffs] The good old days when people 148 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,803 just molested each other on the street? 149 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,179 - It's a compliment. 150 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,847 "A caboose that won't quit" is a good thing. 151 00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:48,974 - Grandpa. Stop saying caboose. - You know what? 152 00:05:49,058 --> 00:05:50,476 Don't stop. Don't stop what you're doing. 153 00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,144 The world is watching you, old man, so-- 154 00:05:52,228 --> 00:05:54,146 - Please don't record anything. - What's going on? 155 00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:55,523 - Oh, we see you. 156 00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:57,775 - Why are all these broads recording me? 157 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,485 - Oh, my God. - Oh, we "broads" now. 158 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:00,986 Okay. - All right. You know what? 159 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,822 We're--we're gonna close up for the day. 160 00:06:02,905 --> 00:06:04,865 All sold out, swing on back tomorrow. 161 00:06:04,949 --> 00:06:06,700 - Wait, wait, wait. I'm confused. 162 00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:08,077 Did he say caboose 163 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,286 or did he actually touch someone's caboose? 164 00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,247 - He said caboose, then he-- 165 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,833 he did a full palm grab of a woman's rear end. 166 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,376 - Like a basketball? - It looked like it. 167 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:16,836 It's on camera. The whole thing is-- 168 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,629 - Oh, my gosh. - It's terrible. 169 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,381 - Tom, I don't think you're cut out for the business world. 170 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:22,133 - I know. I'm shutting it down. I wanted to help my mom, 171 00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:23,676 but that's just not gonna happen. 172 00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:25,427 - Tom, don't give up so easy. 173 00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:26,679 A lemonade stand 174 00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:28,931 is a time-honored childhood tradition. 175 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,516 - Not with me. 176 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:31,851 You gotta shut it this time. You gotta shut your mouth. 177 00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,644 - Tom, I know you're stressed 178 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:37,022 and I know you're on the edge ready to jump--don't do it. 179 00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:38,774 - Tom & Gramps is all over social media. 180 00:06:38,858 --> 00:06:41,318 They're calling us two generations of molesters. 181 00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:43,863 - Yes, I did see that and it doesn't look good. 182 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,323 But all you need to do is pivot. 183 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,325 The butt grab, where'd that happen? 184 00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:49,910 Tom & Gramps. - Yeah. 185 00:06:49,994 --> 00:06:52,496 - So change the name. 186 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,874 Something vague like T&G's. 187 00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:56,542 - What do you mean? 188 00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,377 You could just change the name and keep running the business? 189 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,754 - Yeah, of course. RadioShack is now "The Shack." 190 00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:03,632 Kentucky Fried Chicken is now KFC. 191 00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:07,303 The mercenary group, Blackwater is Academi. 192 00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:10,347 - This is great. - Yeah. T&G's Lemonade. 193 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:13,058 "The only thing we squeeze are the lemons." 194 00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:14,685 - Oh, my God. I love it. - Thank you. 195 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,812 - Nelson, you wanna join the company? 196 00:07:16,896 --> 00:07:18,898 - Sure. But you gotta make me a board member. 197 00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:21,567 I'm not a front counter apron-wearing type of guy. 198 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,152 - All right. You're on the board. 199 00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:24,987 Hey, Principal, you awake? 200 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,488 - Yes. What do you mean "am I awake?" 201 00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:28,073 - Some people sleep with their eyes open. 202 00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:29,575 - We wanna buy some airtime 203 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,160 during the morning announcements, can we do that? 204 00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:32,912 - Yeah. Like Buick and Grey Goose. 205 00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:34,955 - You know, to be honest with you, it feels wrong, 206 00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:37,374 but I do really admire your guys' hustle. 207 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,376 So I'll give you 30 seconds. That's it. 208 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,794 - Thank you. Thank you. 209 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:43,589 - Hey, gang, it's your principal here. 210 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,925 The following is a paid ad, okay? 211 00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:47,801 It's frowned upon. It's illegal. 212 00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:50,012 And if you could just not say anything to your parents, 213 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,139 I'll do you something good on the other side. 214 00:07:52,223 --> 00:07:54,725 - [clears throat] Thank you and greetings. 215 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,187 As you may have heard, my grandpa recently grabbed 216 00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:01,106 and squeezed the rear end of our school nurse. 217 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:05,402 - And this does not reflect the core values of our brand. 218 00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,947 - My grandpa has been sidelined and I just want you 219 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:10,115 to feel comfortable when you come on in. 220 00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:12,284 No one's gonna make a lunge for your butt. 221 00:08:12,368 --> 00:08:13,911 It's just going to be a tasty lemonade 222 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,705 'cause that's the way we do it at T&G's. 223 00:08:16,789 --> 00:08:20,793 - Where the only thing we squeeze are the lemons. 224 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,337 - Guys, seriously? That was impressive. 225 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,339 - Thank you. Well, we're learning a lot about business. 226 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,800 - Maybe I'll invest in you like that show "Shark Tank." 227 00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:29,134 - Really? 228 00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,345 - Well, I was kidding, but I mean, why not? 229 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,180 I like to encourage things like this. 230 00:08:33,264 --> 00:08:34,807 And I got a lot of extra money from those 231 00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:38,018 morning announcements, so here's 100 bucks. 232 00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:40,020 - You're just giving us $100? - Yes. 233 00:08:40,104 --> 00:08:41,647 All I want is my name on the door. 234 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,440 "The Principal." - I don't know about that. 235 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,734 No, you know, if we had a door, we--we'd accommodate this, 236 00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,152 but we don't, there's no door. 237 00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:49,530 This is amazing. I made my $100. 238 00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:51,282 I can quit now and pay my Mom's bill. 239 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,117 - Quit? We can't quit. 240 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,286 We got to use this money to scale up. 241 00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:56,954 - Scale up? - Yeah. 242 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,290 Let me introduce you to a concept they call "flipping." 243 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:00,749 - You're gonna flip lemonade stands. 244 00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:02,001 - That's right. 245 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,836 - Put our branding on it and then sell it. 246 00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:05,587 - And then we gonna buy two more. 247 00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:07,172 And then we're gonna sell those two, 248 00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:08,674 and then we gonna buy four. 249 00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,467 - I actually like this plan. - That's right. 250 00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,344 - All right. Let's flip lemonade stands. 251 00:09:12,428 --> 00:09:13,762 [upbeat music] 252 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,180 - No slouching, Phil. 253 00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:17,349 At T&G's, we stand tall. Bob, tuck your shirt in. 254 00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:18,809 Where you think you at, McDonald's? 255 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,353 - Yeah. Tuck it in, please. 256 00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:24,273 - It's so crazy how people could be so stupid. 257 00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:26,233 - Yasmine, look alive. - Hey, that's salt. 258 00:09:26,317 --> 00:09:29,278 That's not sugar, that's salt. Don't put that in there. 259 00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,155 - Well, yeah, his grandpa is still alive. 260 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,699 It's just that he's been phased out of the daily operations. 261 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,951 You know, there was just so much groping going on. 262 00:09:36,035 --> 00:09:37,911 Tushes and hands, tushes and hands. 263 00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:39,663 It was like boop, boop, boop. - Hector, Hector. 264 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:41,790 Hey, we don't mention the Grandpa incident. 265 00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:43,792 That was in the past, okay? Whole new company. 266 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,211 - Sorry, boss. - Thank you. All right. 267 00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:48,255 Back to work. Back to work, everyone. 268 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,926 I can't believe we own a chain of lemonade stands. 269 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:54,053 We've doubled our investment. 270 00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:55,721 - Hey, stick with me. 271 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,890 You'll be paying electric bills for complete strangers. 272 00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,516 - Paying electric bills for strangers? 273 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,770 That doesn't really even interest me, does it? 274 00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:05,022 - Tombo. - There he is. There's Rick. 275 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,566 - Other guy. How's your lemonade stand? 276 00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,109 - Oh, we're not selling lemonade. 277 00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:11,195 We're selling lemonade "franchises." 278 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,905 - It's great. - Tom, I'm blown away, 279 00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:14,656 but can I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism? 280 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:16,575 - Please don't criticize my face again. 281 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:19,787 - No one's doing brick and mortar these days, okay? 282 00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:22,081 I would lose the lemonade stands. 283 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:24,166 - That's the whole thing. That's the whole business. 284 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:27,586 - The real money, guys, is in "licensing" the brand. 285 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,254 - No, I don't know. I'm--I don't know about that. 286 00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:31,465 - Okay. My agency has the Trader Joe's account, 287 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,258 and they make these deals all the time. 288 00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:34,843 I could set you up with a pitch meeting. 289 00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:36,678 - Tom, we can make money in our sleep. 290 00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:38,305 - I feel like I'm wealthy enough, at this point. 291 00:10:38,389 --> 00:10:40,808 I made my sales goal. Plus, I'm pretty busy. 292 00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,644 - Tom, from what I can tell, you play whiffle ball 293 00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:46,146 and you chase squirrels. You're not a busy person. 294 00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,898 - Oh, no, Rick, please. 295 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,818 Things like that, that's why my mom calls you "The Douche." 296 00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:54,029 I'm not sure about this decision, Nelson. 297 00:10:54,113 --> 00:10:55,656 I had the $100 298 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,783 and we spent it all on power ties. 299 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,993 - Come on, Tom. You need to spend money to make money. 300 00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:02,079 When they see our power ties, they're gonna be like, 301 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,622 "Whoa, these guys mean business." 302 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,207 - Yeah. But when they see my Mom-- 303 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,127 - Excuse me, do you guys have a suggestion box here? 304 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:11,130 Because I bought a party size of bagel bites 305 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:13,132 and it was not enough for a party. 306 00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,509 - Yeah, your Mom kind of kills the power vibe, man. 307 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,386 We--we're gonna need to work around her. 308 00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:20,639 Now, let's go close this deal. Just let me do all the talking. 309 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,307 [laughter] 310 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:24,726 - I have to admit, guys, this is so fun. 311 00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:26,311 - Thank you. - I mean, two friends 312 00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:28,272 inspired by their grandpas? 313 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,983 I mean, this is our brand DNA right here. 314 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,985 - I came up with the name and the slogan, 315 00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:35,529 "The only thing we squeeze are the lemons." 316 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:38,490 - I love it. I love it. So what does he do? 317 00:11:38,574 --> 00:11:39,992 - Oh, Tom doesn't talk in meetings. 318 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,660 - You know, sometimes I say dumb things. 319 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,954 It kind of runs in the family. - [laughs] 320 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,039 It's adorable. What a pair. Okay. Wait. 321 00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:49,001 So I wanna start back at the beginning. 322 00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:51,128 Why Trader Joe's? - Why? 323 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,547 Well, it's all about corporate synergy. See-- 324 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:56,008 - We even use your lemonade in this--in this whole thing. 325 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:57,092 - Tom, don't do it. 326 00:11:57,176 --> 00:11:58,427 - I'm sorry. Come again. 327 00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,053 - We actually-- - Tom, stop. 328 00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,680 - Nelson, please, I got this. Don't touch the mouth. 329 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,557 We use Trader Joe's lemonade to make our-- 330 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,933 we just pour it in and then we-- 331 00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:06,894 - Hold on. So this is our product? 332 00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:08,562 - This is news to me. - Yeah. 333 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,355 Why are we not laughing anymore? What's going on? 334 00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:13,609 - Why would we license our own product back from ourselves? 335 00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:15,152 - Oh, no, no. We water it down. 336 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,904 - Tom. - Oh, that's even better. 337 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,906 So you are selling me back a diluted version of my product. 338 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:20,199 Is that it? 339 00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:21,700 - I mean, when you phrase it like that, 340 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,160 it sounds like a bad business deal, but-- 341 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,204 - Okay. Well, thanks for coming in. 342 00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,122 Feel free to show yourselves out. 343 00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:30,083 [door slams] - Okay. 344 00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:31,793 I think you were right. I should not do the talking. 345 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:34,254 No one in my family should ever do the talking. 346 00:12:34,338 --> 00:12:39,051 ♪ ♪ 347 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,677 [laundry machines thunking] 348 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,596 - High heat? Oh, please. 349 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,223 No, I'd rather have it with no heat. 350 00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:45,557 Why is that an option? 351 00:12:45,641 --> 00:12:46,725 - Mom? 352 00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:47,935 - All it does is make me wonder, 353 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,186 "Should I do with no heat?" 354 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,437 - Mom. - What? 355 00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:51,897 - You know how to do laundry, right? 356 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,024 - Pfft, I'm a mom. I know how to do laundry. 357 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,859 - My pants have been pretty tight lately. 358 00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:59,238 I think maybe you're overdrying them by, like, a good hour. 359 00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:00,781 - Tom, did you ever stop 360 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:02,908 and think maybe you're just becoming morbidly obese? 361 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,409 - Mom, you know I'm not obese. 362 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:06,411 - I look into your eyes sometimes and I think, 363 00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:07,871 "Is he gonna one day 364 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,581 have to get airlifted out of his own bathroom?" 365 00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:11,250 - Why don't we just buy me some new pants? 366 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:12,668 At least I'll be comfortable. 367 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,086 - Oh, it's that easy. 368 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,338 We just stroll out of the laundry shop... 369 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,006 - Laundry shop? - And we just go 370 00:13:18,090 --> 00:13:21,718 and casually buy a nice pair of Z. Cavariccis. 371 00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:24,555 What is wrong with this thing? Ugh! 372 00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,223 This thing ate my quarter. 373 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,808 - You really shouldn't be doing that here. 374 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:30,852 - Oh, please, buddy. Get off my nuts. 375 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,771 - Girl, let's get some meat on those bones. 376 00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:35,983 How about a little extra cheese on those cheese fries? 377 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,777 - Oh, so good. You're the best, Lunch Lady. 378 00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,654 - Aww, go on. You go on now. 379 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,531 - Lunch lady! Whoo! 380 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:44,741 Let me get two foot-long chili dogs. 381 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,743 - Oh, God bless you, Nelson. 382 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,829 My little hungry, hungry hippo over here. 383 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,789 - [chewing loudly] - [laughs] 384 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,708 - Hi there. - Mm. 385 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:55,377 - Can I just get a small apple juice? 386 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,963 - A what now? - Small apple juice, please. 387 00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,840 I brown-bagged it, so I don't need any food. 388 00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,800 - You don't need any--any cheese? 389 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:03,135 - Cheese on my apple juice? 390 00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:04,720 - I can't get you a--a cookie? 391 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,555 - Just the juice, no cheese or anything. 392 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:10,183 - [sighs] Can someone get this idiot a small apple juice? 393 00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:13,312 - I'm feeling my banter wasn't as much fun as everyone else's. 394 00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:14,730 I'm a hungry hippo. 395 00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:16,356 - Tom, it was awfully nice of you to stop by. 396 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,150 - All right. You're the best, Lunch Lady. 397 00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:19,985 - Okay. Bye-bye now. 398 00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,820 - Oh, man. - Nelson, keep walking. 399 00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:23,280 - Hey, dudes. - Don't look left. 400 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:26,408 - Hey, dudes, over here. - Hey, Hector. 401 00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,035 - Hey, sit down. - Listen. 402 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:29,244 - Um... - Um... 403 00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:30,621 We--we decided to move on. 404 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,664 We might mix up the table arrangement. 405 00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:35,000 - Yeah, we're trying to upgrade to a cooler table. 406 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,835 - Guys, this is a major betrayal. 407 00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:38,503 - Hector, please. - We have inside jokes. 408 00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:40,339 - Hector. - We already have a table name. 409 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,257 You know, The Three Amigos, Plus Randy. 410 00:14:42,341 --> 00:14:43,800 - No one calls us that. 411 00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,302 - No one call--even Randy doesn't call--look at him. 412 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,638 He don't even acknowledge us. 413 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,681 I've never seen anybody chew applesauce before. 414 00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:50,974 - Guys. 415 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:52,684 - Hector, don't make it so dramatic. 416 00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:54,645 - No. I'm not making it dramatic, but I will say this. 417 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:58,523 You will rue the day that you decided to abandon Hector. 418 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:00,233 [dramatic music] 419 00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:01,443 - All right, fair enough. 420 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:02,778 - I think we will take our chances. 421 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,863 - And then, like, he has the nerve 422 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:07,199 to ask me for, like, my chocolate milk. 423 00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:08,492 - Hey, Dakota. 424 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,160 - Whoo-whoo. What's up? What's up? 425 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,828 - Oh, hi, Tom. - Hey. 426 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,413 - Hi, Nelson. 427 00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:16,750 Everyone, this is--this is Tom and Nelson. I know them. 428 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,418 - Okay. - We thought we'd sit. 429 00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:19,836 We thought we'd join you guys. 430 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:23,006 - Uh, you want to sit here? - Yeah. 431 00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:25,133 - With us? - I don't feel good about this. 432 00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:27,803 - That is a yes. Oh, I'm Nelson, by the way. 433 00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:30,806 I'm a, what you might call the fun one out of the duo. 434 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,058 You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? 435 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,726 - Yeah. - [laughs] Whoo! 436 00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:36,770 - I feel like this banter is really flowing. 437 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,355 - Can I have a word, Tom? 438 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,273 - Oh, hey, Lunch Lady, not a great time, actually. 439 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,359 - I've been thinking about this brown-bag thing. 440 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,278 Are my cooking skills not up to your standards anymore? 441 00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:46,905 - Oh, no. It's not you. You're great. 442 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,407 My mom just thinks, you know, 443 00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:49,908 with the kind of food they make you serve, 444 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,535 that you're part of the problem. 445 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,786 - Oh, I'm part of the problem, am I? 446 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,037 - Her words, not mine. 447 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:55,288 - I'm part of the problem? 448 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,749 - Tom, why are you being so mean? 449 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,918 - Mean? - Yeah. Who even is this guy? 450 00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:02,587 - I said her words, not mine. They're not my words. 451 00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:03,922 - Ugh. 452 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,924 - Tom, I devote my whole life to you kids. 453 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,427 And this is the thanks I get? I'm going home. 454 00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:10,137 - Oh, no. Please. Please. 455 00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:12,973 - Now, you have some extra cheese and it's on the house. 456 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,436 - Wow. - Like I was saying, 457 00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:18,812 I'm the fun one out of the duo. 458 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,397 I didn't even really know this dude. 459 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,232 We met on the bus. 460 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,609 - Wait, you said what to the lunch lady? 461 00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:26,778 - I mean, I might've said she was part of the problem 462 00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:28,029 if that--that set her off. 463 00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,322 - You said that? 464 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:30,657 - I was just repeating what you said. 465 00:16:30,741 --> 00:16:32,284 I've heard you say things like that. 466 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,661 - No, no, no. Look, I said all that behind her back. 467 00:16:34,745 --> 00:16:37,038 - Look, the woman has been working here for 20 years. 468 00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:38,623 You're a human being. 469 00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:40,417 Why would you wanna tear her a new a-hole like that? 470 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,960 - I didn't tear anyone a new a-hole. 471 00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,587 I'm not even allowed to say a-hole. 472 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,464 - No, you're not. - Right? It's a forbidden word. 473 00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,090 - It's a forbidden word. 474 00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:48,717 And you're gonna get punished for saying it just now. 475 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,260 - He said it. I was repeating what he said. 476 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,137 - Yeah. Well, his mom can punish him. 477 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,222 - My mom's dead. - I'm sorry, Principal. 478 00:16:54,306 --> 00:16:55,474 - Sorry to hear that. 479 00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:57,184 - Here's how it's gonna go down. 480 00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:58,643 You're gonna walk over to the lunch lady's house 481 00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,687 and you're gonna apologize in person. 482 00:17:00,771 --> 00:17:02,606 - Look at you. Great parenting. I'm impressed. 483 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,899 - Oh, I'm not finished. 484 00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:05,650 As a reminder of what you've done, 485 00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:08,987 you can't wash the cheese out of your hair for a month. 486 00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,822 - All right. Is it just me, or is that a bit much? 487 00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:12,657 - Yeah, it's a bit much. 488 00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:15,035 [bus horn honks] 489 00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:16,328 - Whew. 490 00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:17,746 Thanks for waiting. Thank you guys. 491 00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:19,206 - Man, what's up with the big card, Tom? 492 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,124 - I have to apologize to the lunch lady, 493 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,084 so I made an oversized card. 494 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:24,961 - Wow. Look, you got a lot of people to sign. 495 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,880 - Oh, no. Those are fake. I signed them myself. 496 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,173 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 497 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,758 You didn't sign for me. Did you? 498 00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:32,552 - Yeah. You wrote, "Thinking of you, Lunch Lady, 499 00:17:32,636 --> 00:17:35,305 during these troubled times. Signed, Sweet Nelson." 500 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,098 - Come on, man! You think I talk like that? 501 00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:38,475 I'd have at least written something funny. 502 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:39,893 - She's not even gonna read it. 503 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,269 - This is bad for my brand right here. 504 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:42,896 - Hey, you didn't sign for me, did you? 505 00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,439 - I believe I did. Yeah. 506 00:17:44,523 --> 00:17:46,233 You wrote, "Hey, ho, Lunch Lady--" 507 00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,776 - What? - "You da bomb. 508 00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:48,985 Signed, Crazy D." 509 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,695 - Crazy D? - I wrote these quickly. 510 00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,280 I wrote these very quickly. 511 00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:53,865 - Why didn't you just ask me to sign it myself? 512 00:17:53,949 --> 00:17:55,325 - Oh, I don't have time to be going around 513 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,119 asking people to sign a greeting card. 514 00:17:57,202 --> 00:18:01,122 - But you had time to forge all of our signatures. 515 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:04,668 - Tom, what are you doing here? 516 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,087 - You know, I just wanted to say sorry, clear the air. 517 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,172 In retrospect, you're not part of the problem. I am. 518 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,967 - Damn right. Can I--can I come in? 519 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,718 - Okay, fine. Come in. 520 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:16,138 - All right. So to show how sorry I am, 521 00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:18,390 and to show what a wonderful kid I am, 522 00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,892 I made this oversized greeting card. 523 00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:23,228 - [gasps] Oh, my God. 524 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:26,022 - There must be like 200 signatures on that, baby. 525 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,649 Look at this. - Isn't that sweet? 526 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:30,068 - Wait. "You're the best Lunch Lady." 527 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,737 "Lunch Lady, come back." "Number one Lunch Lady." 528 00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:35,240 There's literally no one in this school know my first name? 529 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:36,908 - We all know your name. Obviously, we just-- 530 00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:38,493 - What is it? 531 00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:40,078 - We prefer to call you Lunch Lady is all I'm saying, 532 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,580 despite knowing your name. 533 00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:44,207 - What's my first name? 534 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,835 - Pretty sure it's either Becky or Brenda or Barb, right? 535 00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:48,086 - Becky? - Unbelievable. 536 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:49,212 Where's my ladle? 537 00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:50,714 - Calm down, girl. - No. 538 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,591 - See, this kid is pushing my buttons, no. 539 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:54,593 - It's just a--baby, it's just a greeting card. 540 00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:56,219 - All right, listen, let's all slow down. 541 00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,596 Obviously, they want you back. 542 00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,347 Why don't you say yes, but ask for, 543 00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:01,266 I don't know, a raise or something? 544 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:03,727 both: Hm. - Now, that is a good idea. 545 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,187 - Right? - It's a great idea. 546 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,355 - Tell the Principal you love Tom's card, 547 00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:08,648 you wanna come back, 548 00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:10,442 but here's-- here are your terms. 549 00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:13,612 - I might just do that. You know, you're a good kid. 550 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:15,113 Why--why don't you stay for dinner? 551 00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:16,656 - I'd love to. Do you have any kind of like 552 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:18,533 whole wheat sandwiches and bananas? 553 00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:20,118 - Whole wheat? - You know what? 554 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:22,412 Let's--let's just do dinner some other time, okay? 555 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,539 - I'm proud of you, buddy. - Thanks, Mom. 556 00:19:24,623 --> 00:19:26,291 - You apologized to the Lunch Lady. 557 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,543 And now, I'm gonna wash the cheese out of your hair. 558 00:19:28,627 --> 00:19:30,086 - It's a big day. 559 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:31,296 And you don't wannna do this in the tub or the shower? 560 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:32,505 - Oh, no, no, no. 561 00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,132 I don't want cheese in my drain. 562 00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:36,343 - All right, just start spraying me down, I guess. 563 00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:37,719 [phone chimes] 564 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,179 - Hang on one sec. Hello? 565 00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,597 - Hi, this is the Principal. 566 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,307 - Hi. Oh, hi, Principal. Sorry. 567 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,726 - Listen. I just got a call from our lunch lady 568 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:47,771 and she is making all type of like crazy demands. 569 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,106 Something about the health benefits and fair wages. 570 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,984 So I wanted to see if you might be interested. 571 00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:55,487 - In what? - In being the new lunch lady. 572 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:57,155 - You want me to be the lunch lady? 573 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,366 - Lunch lady? Oh, no. We already have a lunch lady. 574 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,784 - I was very impressed with you 575 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,494 the way you handled Tom the other day. 576 00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:04,579 That whole cheese thing, I mean, that's real tough love. 577 00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:06,831 - Thank you. I would love to be the lunch lady. 578 00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,708 I need the money. I love bossing kids around. 579 00:20:08,792 --> 00:20:09,834 This is perfect. 580 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:11,336 - Not qualified. Not qualified. 581 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:12,963 - Do I need a certification or what-- 582 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,464 - No. Stop it. 583 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,675 You just stand there with a ladle and a hairnet. 584 00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,969 And as long as you're not an ex-con, you're hired. 585 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:21,680 - For argument's sake, let's say I'm not an ex-con. 586 00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:23,014 Count me in. 587 00:20:23,098 --> 00:20:24,349 - Oh, this is not good. 588 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:27,268 - Excuse me. Excuse me. 589 00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:28,645 - What's up? 590 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,563 - I've been waiting for, like, 10 minutes. 591 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,107 - Okay. Sorry, kid. 592 00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:33,900 I mean, I just-- I just turned the oven on, 593 00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:36,194 and it's, like, you expect me to wake up at 11:00 a.m. 594 00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:38,363 and get the oven going really early or something. 595 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:39,906 It's just not gonna happen. 596 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:41,992 - What happened to the old lunch lady? You're mean. 597 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,369 - When your husband runs away to Myrtle Beach 598 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:45,787 and starts nailing a slut, 599 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,540 and they stay out till 4:00 at "Da Club" 600 00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:51,543 and she's grinding her butt into his crotch, 601 00:20:51,626 --> 00:20:53,211 I think you'd be mean too. 602 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,296 - How did you get hired here? 603 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,966 - Hi, kid. What? 604 00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:00,677 - Here we are at the old table. - Hey, hey. 605 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,429 - Sorry. Before you sit, no room today. 606 00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:04,139 - Wait, what? - Full up. 607 00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:06,016 - Whoa. Was it all small talk? I mean, we could dial down 608 00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:08,852 the Tom stuff and dial up the Nelson stuff. 609 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,270 - Yeah, we can dial down the Tom. 610 00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:13,023 - Nelson, it is not you. It's Tom's mom. 611 00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,941 She's ruining lunch for everyone. 612 00:21:15,025 --> 00:21:16,401 - Oh, no. She's--my mom's pretty solid. 613 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,652 Everyone seems to like her. 614 00:21:17,736 --> 00:21:19,070 - Who? Who likes her? 615 00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:20,572 - What's wrong with her, specifically? 616 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:23,033 - She takes forever to fulfill your order. 617 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:24,242 - Okay. 618 00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:25,910 - She threw broccoli at my face. 619 00:21:25,994 --> 00:21:27,746 She could have killed me. I could have died. 620 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,080 - I mean, come on. 621 00:21:29,164 --> 00:21:30,790 You can't die from broccoli wounds. 622 00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:32,709 - She didn't even have the oven on when lunch started. 623 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,294 - That's it? Lazy, mean, and unprepared? 624 00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:35,754 - I'm sorry, Tom. 625 00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:38,423 Until you resolve this, you can't sit with us. 626 00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:41,926 - Oh, this is bad. Look, Tom, your mom got to go. 627 00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:43,344 - Go where? - Outta here. 628 00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:45,055 She's like the Fredo of the cafeteria. 629 00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,140 - Fredo? Who's that? Famous lunch lady? 630 00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:48,308 - [sighs] 631 00:21:48,391 --> 00:21:50,018 I don't even know why we're friends. 632 00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:51,603 [bus horn honks] 633 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:54,689 - Hey, Hector, buddy. Listen, we got a favor to ask. 634 00:21:54,773 --> 00:21:57,484 - Oh, all of a sudden I'm everybody's pal and buddy, huh? 635 00:21:57,567 --> 00:22:01,279 - We're staging a coup against my mom to get her fired 636 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,614 and we kind of need your help. 637 00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:04,574 - Okay. Okay. [laughs] 638 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:08,453 - Her main weakness is her failure to wear the hairnet. 639 00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:09,954 That's gonna be her downfall. 640 00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:11,539 - Oh, tell me more. 641 00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:14,459 - I'm gonna collect her hair-- a sample of her hair, 642 00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:16,377 and then we need you to choke on it. 643 00:22:16,461 --> 00:22:18,254 - And then I'll come and give you the Heimlich. 644 00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:19,464 - Okay. 645 00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:21,174 - She'll get canned, boom. - Yeah. 646 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:22,967 - We're all heroes, and guess what? 647 00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:24,969 All three of us amigos would be sitting at the cool table. 648 00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:26,137 - Nice. 649 00:22:26,221 --> 00:22:27,889 - What do you think? What do you say? 650 00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:29,557 - I like that. Yeah, I'm in. One condition, though, guys. 651 00:22:29,641 --> 00:22:31,101 I want to be the Heimlich guy, okay? 652 00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:32,352 - No. - No. No, no. 653 00:22:32,435 --> 00:22:33,978 - Absolutely not. 654 00:22:34,062 --> 00:22:35,480 - You just don't look like the kind of person that would 655 00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:36,981 come in and save someone, you look like-- 656 00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:38,399 - You look like somebody that choked. 657 00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:39,692 - Yeah, in a movie, you'd be the guy 658 00:22:39,776 --> 00:22:41,277 who chokes and dies early on. 659 00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,655 - Wait, wait, wait. I'm not gonna die in this. 660 00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:45,949 - No, that's the type. That's the character type. 661 00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,243 - That's your arc. [school bell rings] 662 00:22:48,326 --> 00:22:50,495 - Okay, guys, huddle up. It's game time. 663 00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:52,330 - Yes, sir. - Here's the hair. 664 00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:54,124 - Okay. - You stuff it in your food. 665 00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:56,042 When you're ready, just work the space. 666 00:22:56,126 --> 00:22:57,502 - Oh, trust me, I'll work the space. 667 00:22:57,585 --> 00:23:00,004 - Make some good sounds. Choke it up-- 668 00:23:00,088 --> 00:23:01,673 - Quick--quick question, sorry. 669 00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:03,424 If--if I actually choke and die, you guys won't sit 670 00:23:03,508 --> 00:23:05,051 at the cool table without me, will you? 671 00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:07,345 - It would be in poor taste, but who knows? 672 00:23:07,428 --> 00:23:09,430 - Let's cross that bridge when we come to it. 673 00:23:09,514 --> 00:23:12,016 For now, just wait for my signal. 674 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:13,351 [tense music] 675 00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:15,103 [quacking] 676 00:23:15,186 --> 00:23:16,813 - Is that the signal, Tom? - I don't know. 677 00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:19,357 We didn't rehearse that. Just start doing it. 678 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,733 I think that's it. 679 00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:22,694 - Oops. Oops. Arghhh! 680 00:23:22,777 --> 00:23:25,363 - Oh, no. Hey, hey, Hector's choking. 681 00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:26,865 I think he's choking on my mom's hair. 682 00:23:26,948 --> 00:23:29,200 - Somebody call the nurse. - I'm choking! 683 00:23:29,284 --> 00:23:30,577 [grunting] 684 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:32,120 - Guys. Come on, pay attention here. 685 00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:35,373 Our friend is--he's literally dying. 686 00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:38,626 Hector, dial it down. No one believes it's real. 687 00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:40,170 - Everybody stand back. 688 00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:42,922 Hector, I'm going to Heimlich you. Turn around. 689 00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:44,299 All right. Ready? 690 00:23:44,382 --> 00:23:47,468 [dramatic music] 691 00:23:47,552 --> 00:23:49,679 - Oh, no. Hector. Hector, are you dead? 692 00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:51,055 - What's going on? 693 00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:52,265 Why does something always have to happen? 694 00:23:52,348 --> 00:23:53,600 - Here's what we know. 695 00:23:53,683 --> 00:23:55,143 Hector choked on my mother's hair. 696 00:23:55,226 --> 00:23:57,437 She failed to wear the hairnet as instructed. 697 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,189 - Hang on, hang on. Get up, Hector. 698 00:23:59,272 --> 00:24:01,065 - Ah! - Oh, wow. He's alive. 699 00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:02,358 What a close call. 700 00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:03,776 - Tom, is this a coup? - Coup? 701 00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:05,153 - Are you doing a coup right now? 702 00:24:05,236 --> 00:24:06,738 Are you trying to get me fired? 703 00:24:06,821 --> 00:24:08,573 - What makes you even suggest something like that? 704 00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:11,910 - I guess it's mostly that you're holding a bag that says, 705 00:24:11,993 --> 00:24:13,912 "Mom's hair for the coup." 706 00:24:13,995 --> 00:24:16,247 - Tom, that is a new low. 707 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,541 You're trying to get your own mom fired? 708 00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:19,959 - Why is everyone looking at me? 709 00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:21,794 - 'Cause you did it. - 'Cause I did it? 710 00:24:21,878 --> 00:24:23,671 'Cause I am the one who did the whole thing? 711 00:24:23,755 --> 00:24:25,798 - Who should we be looking at? - I guess, yeah, on that level, 712 00:24:25,882 --> 00:24:27,550 I don't come across looking great. 713 00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:30,386 - Who do you think you are? - I tried to warn you guys. 714 00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:31,512 - All right, guys. 715 00:24:31,596 --> 00:24:33,139 Don't leave on that note. Come on. 716 00:24:33,223 --> 00:24:35,058 - Tom, listen. You know that I love you. 717 00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:36,351 - Okay. 718 00:24:36,434 --> 00:24:38,311 - And as a mom, I totally forgive you. 719 00:24:38,394 --> 00:24:40,355 - Thank you. That's a nice way to end it. 720 00:24:40,438 --> 00:24:41,814 - But as a lunch lady, 721 00:24:41,898 --> 00:24:44,442 I have no choice right now but to do this. 722 00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:45,735 - Oh, no. 723 00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:47,987 - You're gonna thank me someday for that. 724 00:24:49,322 --> 00:24:51,824 - That was for my wife. That's her signature move. 725 00:24:51,908 --> 00:24:54,118 You really shouldn't be ripping that off. 726 00:24:54,202 --> 00:24:55,453 [tender music] 727 00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:57,247 - Oh, this is actually a nice-- 728 00:24:57,330 --> 00:24:59,207 nice mother-son moment. 729 00:24:59,290 --> 00:25:01,459 - ♪ Remember there's more road ♪ 730 00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:03,503 ♪ And places to go ♪ 731 00:25:03,586 --> 00:25:05,630 ♪ Patterns to contemplate ♪ 732 00:25:05,713 --> 00:25:07,465 ♪ More people to fornicate ♪ 733 00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:10,635 ♪ And remember there's a lot of good omens ♪ 734 00:25:10,718 --> 00:25:12,303 ♪ Supplying the proof ♪ 735 00:25:12,387 --> 00:25:15,974 ♪ That our life is the best joke ever told ♪ 736 00:25:16,057 --> 00:25:19,644 ♪ Remember it's a joke and leave it alone ♪ 737 00:25:19,727 --> 00:25:24,148 ♪ Let go and try to be always abiding ♪ 738 00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:28,319 ♪ Remember if there's one good reason for dying ♪ 739 00:25:28,403 --> 00:25:30,280 ♪ The sweet silver lining ♪ 740 00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:32,490 ♪ Through you she lives on ♪ 741 00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:36,411 ♪ And therein lies a truth we can sip when we want ♪ 742 00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:40,248 ♪ Disciples of the flow, we can float anywhere ♪