1 00:00:01,480 --> 00:00:04,000 (MUSIC) 2 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,480 Well... 3 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:57,760 ...I have to go. 4 00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,520 Ooh. Off to work? 5 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,120 - Off to work. - Yeah. 6 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,120 Escape. 7 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,600 Escape! 8 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,680 What would you do if the world was actually ending? 9 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:10,880 I'd come visit you. 10 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,480 Here? 11 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,160 Yeah, I'd bring the entire family. 12 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,160 All seven of you? 13 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,920 - And Myrtle. - Right. 14 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:19,880 Right. 15 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,360 That's all right, isn't it? 16 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,920 I mean, it's a lovely thought. 17 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,560 I'm not sure it's practical. 18 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,840 I mean, we'd have to get a very big shop in. 19 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,160 Oh, come on! It's worth it. 20 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,480 You'd want to usher in the apocalypse surrounded by my children, wouldn't you? 21 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:36,800 Would... Would Tesco's still be working if everyone knew the world was ending? 22 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,080 They might not have any toilet roll left. 23 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,480 But we're easy. 24 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,240 You know, whatever you can rustle up. 25 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,440 I mean, it's a lovely... It's a lovely thought. 26 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:45,880 Just make a big omelette. We'll be fine. 27 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,680 I'm not sure it would be practical. 28 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:51,200 - Can I just say, if it does end... - Yeah. 29 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,720 ...just hold off for a little bit on that. Is that OK? 30 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,320 It depends how long we've got, though. It's quite a long drive. 31 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:58,480 Yeah, well, I tell you what. 32 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,320 Hopefully we'd all perish before you actually arrived. 33 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,520 - Cos it is quite a way, isn't it? - Hopefully? 34 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,800 But I'd know that you were coming, and that would make me feel good, 35 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,400 but then you wouldn't actually get here 36 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,840 because that would be difficult. 37 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:10,920 So, what would you do? 38 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,800 Uh... 39 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,480 Do I know the world is ending? 40 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,760 What do you mean? 41 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,240 Do I know the world's ending? 42 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,920 Has it been announced? 43 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,160 I don't fucking know. It's your hypothetical situation. 44 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,720 You've got to give me some details. 45 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,680 Do I know the end is coming? 46 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:25,680 Yes, you do. 47 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:26,800 I would have a nap. 48 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:27,840 You'd have a nap? 49 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:29,120 Well, I can nap anywhere. 50 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,400 And if it... If it was a surprise? 51 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,640 Er, well, then I wouldn't know it was coming, would I? 52 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,680 So I would just be doing normal things. 53 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,400 More than likely, I would be talking to you. 54 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,520 - Yes. - Exactly like this. 55 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,600 Sorry, it's, um... It's chaos here. 56 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,080 Everything all right? 57 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,280 The suitcases are back. 58 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:59,280 So, right, if we can just go through this a couple of times, 59 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,320 even just once, we'll be good to go. 60 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:02,200 7.30 start. 61 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,160 Yeah. So, our scene's up first live, and then they do the auction. 62 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,240 Ooh, getting close! 63 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,720 I'm really looking forward to it. 64 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,920 Yeah, we just need to get David to leave first. 65 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,520 Yeah, Michael's heading to the airport in a couple of hours. 66 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:18,160 -Aren't you going with him? - Nope, I'm going to Sweden tomorrow. 67 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,120 Sweden? 68 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,360 The rules have changed. 69 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,640 So, he can get to New York, but he has to isolate. 70 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,120 We don't want Lyra to isolate. 71 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,960 And he has to go to New York? 72 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,080 There's a wedding. 73 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,440 He's the best man. He's written a speech. 74 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,600 Well, doesn't he have to isolate too, though? 75 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,760 He's booked a room across the road of the ceremony, 76 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,760 so he's going to shout his speech. 77 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,960 - Are you joking? - Mm-nm. 78 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,640 He's very proud of himself. 79 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,280 Thinks he's found the one loophole. 80 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,400 Well, you're going to have a lovely time. 81 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,720 - Shall we? - Yeah, sure. 82 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,400 Sorry, we do actually just need to wait for David to leave. 83 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,200 - Oh, yeah. OK. No rush. - Like, two minutes. 84 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:50,720 He's on a call with Michael. 85 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,520 I know, it's just that the car's here and double parked, 86 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:54,960 so he... He won't be long. 87 00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:01,520 MICHAEL: The birds are flying away. 88 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,000 Yeah, they do that this time of year. 89 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,600 How do they stay in formation? 90 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,080 You know I'm not an ornithologist? 91 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,920 - Er, I am aware of that fact. - Yeah. 92 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,120 But I was just wondering if you might hazard a guess. 93 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:19,640 I would hazard that they follow the one in front... 94 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,360 Ah, probably. 95 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,120 ...until they get home. 96 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,480 Like the elephants. 97 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:25,560 Like the elephants. 98 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,160 I'm finding this quite difficult. 99 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,000 Ah, don't be silly. 100 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,400 - Time to go. - Time to go. 101 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,320 - To work. - To work! 102 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:35,560 Crossing the Severn Bridge. 103 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:36,880 Yes. Crossing the... 104 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,600 You all right? 105 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,840 (CLEARS HIS THROAT) Yeah. 106 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:47,080 Anna and Lyra aren't coming to New York. 107 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,720 - Oh. - Am I a bad father? 108 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,280 - No. - Am I a bad friend? 109 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:51,520 - No. - No. 110 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,320 But I do have to go. 111 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,560 You do have to go. 112 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,560 Hey, listen, though. 113 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,840 - We did it. - (CHUCKLES) We did do it. 114 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,040 Yeah. Sanity intact. 115 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,200 Intact-ish. 116 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,800 Just about serviceable. 117 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,960 Yeah, I mean, enough for jazz. 118 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,320 Probably quite good for jazz. 119 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:17,240 Absolutely. And we never ran out of things to say. 120 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:18,640 Is that true? 121 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,000 Well, I did have to do a lot of the heavy lifting. 122 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,000 Oh, fuck you. 123 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:26,160 Well, no, only when you were having your existential crisis. 124 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,640 - You had one of those, too! - Yes, but mine was smaller 125 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,800 - because I have a smaller existence. - Yeah. 126 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:34,240 And I had time, therefore, to keep the badinage going. 127 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:35,280 Well, thank goodness 128 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,960 you had all those years of experience to fall back on. 129 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:42,880 Yes, well, love, I have the craft of improv. 130 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:43,920 Pew-pew! 131 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,200 Oh, Spidey. 132 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,480 - Yes! - Improv. Spider web! 133 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,720 Yes! Oh, here comes my zap, pow, bang, wallop! 134 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,160 - Ptchoo! - Wey-hey! 135 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,200 Come on, serve me one up. Serve me one up. 136 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,160 Here it comes. Here it comes. Here it comes! Here it comes! 137 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,480 - Oh, and there it is! - Oh, no! 138 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,920 He's coming back. He's coming back. He's coming back! 139 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,560 And pew! 140 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,320 Oh, in my face! 141 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,280 - Like improv jizz. - Oh, yeah! 142 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,640 There must be things that we still haven't talked about. 143 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,920 - No, I really have to go. - Books! 144 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,680 - No. - We never did books. 145 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,200 - No. I don't care. I have to go. - Come on! 146 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,720 - They're waiting for me outside. - Come on. 147 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,920 I'm going. I have to go. This is me. I'm leaving. 148 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,720 No... 149 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,040 - No... - (GASPS) 150 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,240 Books! 151 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,760 (GRUFFLY) Books! 152 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,720 Their conversations are like gas. 153 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,280 It just expands to fit whatever vessel they put it into. 154 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,360 I don't have that kind of relationship with anyone. 155 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,800 I think it's a fear of silence. 156 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:40,840 Oh. 157 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,120 I like silence. 158 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,160 I adore it. 159 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,240 That's cos you have a one-year-old. 160 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:47,920 Silence is like... 161 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,720 (CAR HORN BLARES) 162 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,240 For fuck's sake, David! 163 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,480 - Did you hear that? - No. Books! 164 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,840 - Normality beckons. - Normality can wait. 165 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,560 - Georgia's shouting on me. - She can wait too. 166 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,840 - Yeah, well, my taxi can't. - I'm going to ask anyway. 167 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,720 Have you read The Last Question? 168 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,440 - Oh, let me think... No! - Right. 169 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:08,160 It is about the circularity of time. 170 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,560 Oh, my God! 171 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:13,560 A thing begins where it ends, and vice versa. 172 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:17,120 - Hmm. OK! - Ouroboros, the eternal snake 173 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,480 who eats his own tail. 174 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,160 Jesus! Pretension sticks to you like peanut butter, doesn't it? 175 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,080 Gloms onto you. 176 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,520 Sticks in your beard. 177 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,000 (GULPS) 178 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,280 GEORGIA: OK. So it's a really simple system. 179 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,680 We're basically just going to stream it from our laptops. 180 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,880 - Great. - Yeah. 181 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,680 - Ladies, may I moot an idea? - Hmm? 182 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,120 Can we work together again? 183 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,880 I just... My agent's gone quiet and...and... 184 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,560 ...I just thought maybe I could write something for us. 185 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,720 - What? - I feel like strong women 186 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,280 saving fragile men maybe is feeling a little bit stale now. 187 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:52,200 - Hmm. - Yes. 188 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,040 So something else. But I just think this next bit's going to be harder 189 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,400 because everyone's feeling so fragile. 190 00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:58,640 (CAR HORN BLARES) 191 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,880 Oh, for fuck's sake! 192 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:07,320 We've never talked about... 193 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,520 ...love. 194 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,560 - (DOOR OPENS) - Oh. 195 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,880 GEORGIA: Can you get off that machine and out of the house 196 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:17,120 before I bury you in the garden with your fucking goldfish? 197 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,960 - Hi, Michael. - Hi, Georgia. 198 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,360 Hi. Could you let him go? 199 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,480 - Happily. - OK. 200 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,600 OK. (CLEARS HIS THROAT) 201 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,560 You on... You on set today? 202 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:32,800 Yes, this very evening. 203 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,560 Ooh! Night shoots! 204 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,960 - Breaking us straight back in! - Yeah. What time do you wrap? 205 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,400 Oh, middle of the night, I would've thought. 206 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:42,160 Well, Cardiff is lovely in the middle of the night. 207 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,440 I'm very excited. 208 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,760 (MICHAEL CHUCKLES) 209 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,120 What if I can't remember how to do it? 210 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:50,680 - Act? - Yeah. 211 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,600 No! It's easy-peasy, man! 212 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,600 - Course it is! - If the two of us can do it... 213 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,640 It's just that I have no other discernible skills. 214 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,120 - That's true. - It's pretending. 215 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,200 It's just pretending. 216 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,120 - Right, this is it. I have to go. - Right you are. 217 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,880 I'm still not ready. 218 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,720 Georgia's really angry. 219 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:11,760 Well, I'll miss this. 220 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,960 Listen, we've got so much still to talk about. 221 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,920 - Yes! - Next time. 222 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,080 Yeah. 223 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,280 No! No! 224 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:21,720 Argh! 225 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,560 - OK. Cases are in the car. - OK. Great. Thank you. 226 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:41,760 - OK. Wallet? - Yes. 227 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,640 - Phone? - Yes. 228 00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:45,200 - Keys? - Yes. 229 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,240 - Yay, excellent! - Good luck with the thing tonight. 230 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,480 - Feeling ready? - Well, I would be 231 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,240 if I was allowed to go and rehearse, 232 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,280 - which is what I should be doing now. - Oh, shall I go and say hi? 233 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,880 - No. - What time's it at? 7.30? 234 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,080 - 7.30. - Right, well, I'm gonna be on set, 235 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,960 but I'm gonna be thinking of you. Right. Here I go. 236 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,360 Feeling ready? 237 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,520 Well, I've learnt my lines. 238 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:01,920 Have you? 239 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,440 - I've read them out loud. - Sure. 240 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:04,920 - Laptop? - Fuck. 241 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,120 Sorry! 242 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,520 He'll just be two minutes! 243 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:09,960 I know. 244 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,560 I know he is a fucking dickhead. Imagine being married to him! 245 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,960 Oh, you did the TARDIS joke! 246 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,840 It's really funny, no-one ever does that. 247 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,080 Driver's a fan. 248 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,200 Aw, nice. 249 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,400 Mask? 250 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,400 - No. - For fuck's sake. 251 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,640 Sorry. One last thing. Be right there. 252 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,280 - The driver is not a fan. - How long's your journey? 253 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,360 Three hours. 254 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,760 Oh, it's going to be fun. 255 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,720 - There's so much I wanna say. - Aw... 256 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,000 I just really need to miss you... 257 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,960 ...which I can do the moment you leave. 258 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,400 OK. Yeah. 259 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:43,760 - Goodbye. - Bye-bye. 260 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:46,960 Oh, thank fuck. 261 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:49,680 (SIGHS CONTENTEDLY) 262 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:50,880 All right? 263 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,440 Yeah. Fine. 264 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,040 Can I make a confession? 265 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,440 Always! 266 00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:02,280 I might have put David's grey hoodie in the rubbish last night. 267 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,520 And they took away the bins this morning. 268 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:08,800 So... 269 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,640 Anyway...shall we? 270 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,400 - Yeah. - OK. 271 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,880 Just a minute. 272 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,240 No rush. 273 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,440 This is a bad time, is it? 274 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:27,680 No, no. Um, I'm just getting ready for... 275 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,680 We're filming the thing for Georgia. 276 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:33,200 - Oh, yeah. No, sure. Cool. - Yeah, so I've just got to... 277 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,320 Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a bad time. 278 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,160 No, no, no, it's fine. Honestly. 279 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,960 I've just got, uh, five minutes. 280 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:45,640 I tell you what's happened. I've got the time difference wrong, haven't I? 281 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,880 You've got the time difference wrong. 282 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,320 That's on me. Again. 283 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,560 - I'm coming home. - What? 284 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,640 - When? - Uh... 285 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,520 Soon. 286 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,680 Today. Now. There's a car outside now. 287 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,120 But what about the rewrites? 288 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,120 No need. 289 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,400 - No need? - Phoebe's going to do them. 290 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,240 Right. 291 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,280 It is funnier. She's made it funnier. 292 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,680 That's good. 293 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:16,320 Well, you can't write women. 294 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,480 You're not supposed to say that. 295 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,080 - You're not... That's not... - But you can't. 296 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,040 Yeah, but Team Simon? 297 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,400 - (IMITATES GUNSHOTS) - Oh, yeah! Team Simon! 298 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,000 Whoo! Yeah. 299 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,000 How much of this have you changed for this thing that you're doing? 300 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,600 How much of what I wrote have you...? What have you changed? 301 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,320 Just the pronouns. 302 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,080 - Hey! Hi, baby! - Hey, babe! 303 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,040 How are you? How'd it go? 304 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,320 Mmm! Yeah, really well, thanks. 305 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,280 How was the scene? 306 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,280 Yeah, it was really... It was really good. 307 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:55,600 Yeah? 308 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,680 - Anna and Lucy were very funny. - Right. 309 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,000 I was hilarious, obviously. 310 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,280 - Possible spin-off? - Well, never say never. 311 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,680 I don't think you've ever told me what the scene was. 312 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,440 Oh, it's, um... 313 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,800 Well, it's a version of that scene that you did in series one, 314 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,480 where you're all talking over each other, 315 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,080 only Anna's Michael, Lucy's Simon and I'm you. 316 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,520 Ah! 317 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,520 - Yeah. - People liked it, did they? 318 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,040 Yeah, it was really interesting, actually. 319 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,840 Most people said that they preferred it to the original. 320 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,040 - Did they? - Hmm. 321 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,760 - Most people? - Across the board, actually. 322 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,440 - Right. - Yeah. 323 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,000 And were these people you would trust, or...? 324 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,120 - Oh, with my life. - Surprising, but... 325 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,480 - Mmm. - OK, OK. 326 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,680 And did you hit all your targets? 327 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,200 We exceeded them. 328 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,480 Very good. 329 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:37,760 Yeah. 330 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,120 The baby did threaten to derail it at one point, 331 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,120 - but she settled back down. - What was the problem? 332 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,320 I don't know. The little bitch wouldn't tell me. 333 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,280 - How's filming? - Fine. 334 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,280 - Yeah? - Yeah. Yeah. 335 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,160 Where are you? 336 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,040 - I'm in the hotel room. - Are you sat on a loo? 337 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,160 This is the only place the Wi-Fi would work. Promise. 338 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,720 Sure, yeah. No, sure. 339 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,520 You know, it felt a bit odd, actually. 340 00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,960 - What, on set? - Yeah, I felt nervous. 341 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,800 - Nervous? - Yeah. 342 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,480 I know! That didn't used to happen. 343 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,480 - No. - I feel sort of flabby. 344 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:12,480 Flabby? 345 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,120 Yeah. You know, intellectually flabby. 346 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:16,800 Yeah. I mean, not obviously... 347 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,480 Like, I couldn't remember quite how to do it. 348 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,560 Oh. 349 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,080 Well... 350 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,240 - That'll get better. - Yeah. 351 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,840 Bet Michael wouldn't have felt nervous. 352 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,200 Hmm. 353 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,040 I miss you, baby. 354 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,600 I miss you too, baby. 355 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,960 - (BEEPING) - Oh, it's Michael! 356 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,640 Aw, course it is. 357 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,040 Shall I let him in? I'll let him in. 358 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,280 Be nice to see New York. 359 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,960 (NEW YORK ACCENT) Hey, the big cheese in the Big Apple! 360 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,280 Hello! 361 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,000 What the fuck are you wearing? 362 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,720 - Hi, Michael. - Hello, Georgia. 363 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,600 That's not New York. 364 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,000 Oh, do you know, I've often said that your husband 365 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,880 has the observational skills of a pewter tankard. 366 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,720 And I have yet to disagree with you. 367 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:03,960 You're still at home! 368 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,920 God, there is no getting past you, is there, Sherlock? 369 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,360 Is Anna still there too? 370 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,480 - Oh, there she is. Anna! - Hi, there. 371 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,800 Ooh, don't you look dandy? 372 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,160 Thank you. 373 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,960 It's only you letting the side down, college boy. 374 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,240 Well, nobody told me there was a fucking dress code, did they? 375 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,680 Are you in a toilet? 376 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,440 I am in the toilet because it's the only place that the Wi-Fi works 377 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,960 in this crappy hotel room. 378 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,200 Is he always this cranky late at night, Georgia? 379 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,400 Yeah, always. 380 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,160 - G, did you know about this? - Yeah! 381 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,040 I spent the whole evening with Anna and Michael. It was clearly in the background. 382 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,440 - What happened to the wedding? - All right, erm... 383 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,280 Say hello to New York. Say hello to David. 384 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,040 Hello, David. 385 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,520 Hi. 386 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,240 I'm Michael's best friend. 387 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,000 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Really? 388 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,880 Now, that kind of territorial approach 389 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,160 is going to get David a wee bit ticked off. 390 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,200 Yeah. 391 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,080 Now, why don't you fuck off back to your party and your new wife? 392 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,200 All right? 393 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,360 - Say bye to everyone. - Congratulations! 394 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,600 - Bye! - Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. 395 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:04,480 So, you dialled in in the end? 396 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,120 It seemed appropriate. 397 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,920 Right. And at no point in the long, long run-up 398 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,280 to the endless conversations about this, that never occurred to you? 399 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,640 Look, computers are not my bag. 400 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,400 - Right. - Did you do your speech? 401 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,960 He got a bit nervous. 402 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,840 - Oh, did you? - No, I didn't. 403 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,600 - Yes, you did. - No, I was fine. 404 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,720 After two whiskies and a packet of crisps. 405 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,040 Yes, well, we all have our methods, 406 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,960 - don't we? - He was pacing up and down 407 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,520 saying he'd forgotten how to do it. 408 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:36,760 I had...a minor wobble. 409 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,280 Did you have a wee wobble? 410 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:39,880 I had a wobble-ette. 411 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,680 - What about Sweden? - We are going tomorrow. 412 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,800 - Aw! - Where are you? 413 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,040 (WELSH ACCENT) I'm in Cardiff, in't I? 414 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,120 Oh, of course. 415 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:48,280 Iechyd da! 416 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,680 - Of course you are. How was filming? - Yeah, it was fine. 417 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,800 - Yeah? Really? - It's like riding a bike. 418 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,680 Yeah? I've never seen you ride a bike. 419 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,200 Well, I have ridden a bike 420 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,040 and therefore I'm capable of doing it again. 421 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,200 Right. OK. So no nerves? 422 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:01,520 Nothing. Cool as a cucumber, 423 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,720 What about the, you know, flabbiness? 424 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,120 That was... 425 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,480 It's not a conversation we need to share. 426 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,520 I think we've gone past that. I think we share everything. 427 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,160 I was cool as a cucumber, 428 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,760 and that's all you need to know. 429 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,480 (MICHAEL CHUCKLES) 430 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,440 So, listen, how far away am I? 431 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,880 W-What's the distance between Cardiff and Port Talbot? 432 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,640 About 40 minutes. 433 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,800 Come on. Shall I come and visit? 434 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:28,120 - Now? - Yeah, shall I come and visit? 435 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,800 (WHISPERS) 436 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,200 - Nah. - Oh, you grumpy bastards. 437 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,800 No, it's late. Come on. 438 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:37,920 I haven't seen you in months! 439 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,840 Yeah, and I know it's been very hard for you, but... 440 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,520 Oh, you're an infuriating human being. 441 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,120 Oh, and you're a very rude person. 442 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,160 I am not! 443 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:49,120 Just willy-nilly inviting yourself round into people's houses. 444 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:50,960 It's not like that in Wales, David. 445 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,440 You're not in Scotland now. 446 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:56,280 Well, I am merely pointing out that I'm in the vicinity. 447 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,600 Well, point made. Thank you very much. 448 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,920 Nos da, goodnight, cheers. 449 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,240 Shove your leek up your arse. 450 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,280 - Hi, baby! - Hi! 451 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,240 - This is a lovely surprise. - Yeah, well, I mean, 452 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,320 I want to say it's because I missed you so much. 453 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:23,360 Yeah. 454 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,080 But I just really needed to get away from our kids. 455 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,440 No, sure. You brought this little one. 456 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,680 Yeah, I had to bring that one otherwise my tits explode. 457 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:31,240 Of course. Is anyone looking after the other kids, or...? 458 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,480 No, I just left them on their own with some stale bread 459 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:34,760 and some candlestick stumps. 460 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,760 - They'll be fine. - Well, they're very resilient. 461 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,160 - They are, yeah. - Yeah. 462 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,760 - Aw! - I brought you a packed lunch. 463 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,360 Aren't you the perfect wife? 464 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,120 I am, kind of, yeah. 465 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,440 There's not actually anything in here. 466 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,440 No, well, Wales is a really long way. 467 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:51,960 Of course, yeah. 468 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,920 Yeah. 469 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,600 Do you want to make out? 470 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,880 I'd love to. Unfortunately, I am supposed to have been in make-up 471 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,160 four minutes ago, so... 472 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,320 Oh, OK. Well, I'll go home, then. 473 00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:04,520 I mean, stay and chat for a bit. 474 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,880 OK. 475 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,400 - What do you want to talk about? - Books. 476 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,200 - Books? - Books. I want to talk about books. 477 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,400 Right. 478 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,560 I don't historically have a lot to say about books. 479 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,200 - OK, well, let's give it a go. - Yeah. 480 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,800 - What was the last book that you read? - Erm, I don't know. 481 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,120 What was the last book that you bought me? 482 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,240 No idea. 483 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,880 Cos I know I definitely didn't read that one. 484 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,320 Excellent. Well, this is going well, isn't it? 485 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,520 - (KNOCK ON WINDOW) - Argh! 486 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,320 - Oh, my... - Bloody useless! 487 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,000 It's the old man of Port Talbot. 488 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,120 We've been here for hours, posing. 489 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,720 Oh! 490 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,800 - Look at you, in the flesh! - Here I am! 491 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,600 I can't believe it! 492 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:41,360 All the bloody, "Oh, I'm a listener, to you, to me." 493 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,000 I mean, I was here for hours. 494 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,400 There's very little actual charisma, though. 495 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,760 You sort of just disappear into a wall. 496 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,480 Can't hear you, sorry. 497 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,600 If you put your mask on, I'll wind the window down. 498 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,480 Put your mask on, I'll wind the window down. 499 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:01,840 - Ah! - All right? 500 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,400 - There he is! - Hello, Georgia. You all right? 501 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:04,760 - Hi. - Look at this! 502 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,440 - I know. - How long have you got 503 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:07,480 before you've got to go to work? 504 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,280 I'm meant to have been in make-up eight minutes ago. 505 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,680 - Right. - Yeah. When's your flight? 506 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,160 Er, yes! 507 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,640 All right. All right. All right. 508 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,680 We are...mmm, yes, quite late already. 509 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:17,840 OK. 510 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,320 But, you know, you wanted to work, didn't you? 511 00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:21,480 You wanted to travel. Here we are. 512 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,000 I guess that worked out, then. 513 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,800 Look at you! 514 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,120 - Look, I'll get you on the computer. - Yes, yes. OK. Hello, Georgia! 515 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,880 - Hi, Michael. - Ah, yeah. 516 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,760 I can't...I can't...I can't hear through these things, anyway. 517 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,000 No, don't worry. 518 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,200 I'll...I'll... Yeah. 519 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,400 - All right. - See you later. 520 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,520 - Lovely to see you, Georgia. - You too, Michael. 521 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,120 - See you, Anna. - Bye, Anna! 522 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,680 Bye. 523 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,560 - Aw. - Yeah. 524 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,560 GEORGIA: He looks like the Hobbit. 525 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,000 Ah, didn't record. 526 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,840 Oh, well. Um... 527 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,320 Did it record here? 528 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,520 Did we even slate it? 529 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,320 - For fuck's sake! - Have you turned it off yet? 530 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,160 I don't know, because I pressed the button... 531 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,760 I don't know if I pressed it. 532 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,240 - Still running. - Still running, OK. 533 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:36,800 So this is an end slate. 534 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,720 That was 11. 7-11-3. 535 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,720 Which we might not have any sound for. 536 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,600 We've got on there and we've got it on here. 537 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,080 That's turned off. 538 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:46,400 Good luck.