I swear, they get weirder every day.
My mom and dad spent an entire weekend shopping for decorative pillows.
And they kept saying things like "game-changer."
-About pillows? -Yeah.
You should hear my dad talk about solar panels.
Ninety percent of his conversations are about how much money they save him.
He literally thanks the sun when it's out.
I mean, are all parents this cringey?
Jamie Shapiro's parents ride motorcycles.
My dad's van uses vegetable oil, so I just stopped letting him drop me off
because kids said that I smelled like French fries.
I mean, you kind of do.
I'm telling you, boys, not only are Sasquatch real,
but they're getting more sophisticated.
-They're evolving.
Now, I'm not just talking about using tools, either.
-I mean, really evolving.
Some of them have even started posting audio online.
So Bigfoot has a podcast?
Well, of course, it's all subsidized by the government.
They're using them to get their message out.
And why would the government need Sasquatch to get its message out?
I've already said too much.
Okay.
Hey, you boys want to see a pixie skull?
-Yeah, I think we have to get going. -Yeah.
Jack. Ronald.
Remember, boys.
Trust no one.
Of course, we got the solar panels for the planet,
but the real winner is my wallet.
That buyback program, the power company writes me a check every month, eh?
Hey, here's looking at you, hot stuff.
-Winning.
That's right.
How is that funny?
-You want a burger? Fresh and real hot. -Please.
What's up, dawgs?
You boys excited about our trip to Keystone Lake next weekend?
Yeah, actually, the cabin looks pretty cool.
Yeah, I can't wait to swim in that lake.
I'm thinking about getting everyone matching pajamas.
-What? It's gonna be off the chizain!
Oh, we're out of paper plates.
Later, skaters.
Matching pajamas?
I know.
Oh, is that my wife?
Yowza!
Stop it, you!
Oh, stop looking so good and maybe I will.
Hey, at least my parents don't flirt.
Yeah, you're so lucky.
-Howdy. -There they are!
Hi, hi!
We heard the big news about the pillows.
You'll have to show us later at Game Night.
That's right, Game Night's tonight.
Is it at your house or mine this week?
My house, I think.
Okay. We'll take refuge here, then.
What type of woodchips are you using?
Wait, Dale, don't tell me.
Hickory.
-Pecan mesquite. I mixed it myself. -Hey, oh!
-He did. -It's not me, right?
-They're definitely getting worse. -Hundred percent.
Hey, uh, Jack.
Why don't you come over here and let your old man show you
how to grill a flank steak, huh?
Oh, um...
Yeah, I actually was just about to go do some stuff.
-Yeah. -I would love to, though.
Maybe later, thanks!
Howdy, broseph.
What's up?
Just, you know, saying hi.
Can I come in?
Yeah, sure.
Hey, look at that. Your Little League trophies.
Man. You used to love baseball.
You remember the time we went to the Hall of Fame?
Yeah. I mean, you, you got bit by a snake at a rest stop.
And then we spent the whole trip at Cooperstown Hospital.
We still had a blast. Got to admit.
We should go back.
Or go anywhere.
Taking trips, you know. Me and you.
Can I pop a squat?
Look...
I know you're not a little kid anymore,
and it's natural for you to pull away from your parents.
But I wanna let you know...
that I'll always be your dad.
Okay, um, thanks, Dad.
And if you ever wanna talk about any changes in your body...
Listen, I get it. It's, it's normal.
I mean, we got the same parts, right?
And I've been through it, so I'm, I'm here for you.
Thanks. Um, I'm gonna...
Do your thing.
Give me... Give me one of those.
-Okay. -All right.
Okay, anyway.
Hey, I love you.
-Dude, you're kidding, right?
My dad tried to have the same talk with me.
It was terrible, okay? It ended with him kissing me on the lips.
Seriously?
To be fair, I did initiate it,
but I panicked, okay?
I just wanted out of that conversation.
-Okay. -They've been stressing me out so much,
I broke out in a rash.
Dude, really?
-Me too. -Is this puberty?
I think it's Poison oak.
Let's get ready for Game Night!
Call us if you need us. Later, fools. Dab!
She saw it on one of her mom vlogs.
Just so you know, I'm gonna kill you immediately,
and then I'm gonna keep killing you until you beg for mercy.
You know you could kill other players and give me a chance to get better.
No.
-Where's your headset?
Aw, man. I left it at home.
Sorry.
Fine.
Doesn't look like anybody's home.
No, I see your mom and dad's shoes. See, I don't get that.
What's the point of having your own house
if you're not even allowed to wear shoes inside?
What's that?
-Is that your backyard? -I don't know.
Maybe they decided to watch a movie or something.
What kind of game is this?
Jack?
My coffee table's floating.
Let's get out of here.
What, are they witches or something?
I don't know. They could be in a cult.
Yeah, so what do we do? Should we call the police?
And tell them what?
That our parents were in robes and levitating furniture?
We need to figure out what's going on first.
Right.
How do we do that?
-Whatcha doing, pal?
Um, I was, I was just looking for my fishing rod...
...for the lake trip.
It's in the garage.
Oh, okay, thank you.
Hey, you, uh, skipped breakfast this morning.
Is everything okay, son?
Yeah, everything's fine.
I just... just a little tired, you know.
A changing body needs its rest, I guess.
Little tadpole's losing his tail.
Yes, yeah, exactly.
That's me.
Ribbit.
Anyways, Dad,
I, I have to go... meet Ronald.
But thank, thank you.
Okay.
I knew it.
So you recognize it?
Unfortunately.
Zugarians.
What, what are Zugarians?
Why "unfortunately"?
Boys.
There's no easy way to tell you this.
Your parents are aliens.
Come on.
This town has been a hotbed of alien activity for years.
In the '80s, they started abducting humans,
replacing them with lookalikes...
-Wait, so you're saying our parents-- -Sorry, kid.
Chances are, your real parents ended up as hors d'oeuvres
on a Zugarian space cruiser.
If they took our parents, why wouldn't they take us?
Because they, they take the parents first
and they wait for their offspring to mature.
What do you mean, "mature?" Like...
Like puberty?
Exactly.
How long have you had those?
-Poison oak? -That's not Poison oak.
They're prepping your skin for extraction.
-That's what these rashes are? -Yeah.
No, come on, that's nuts.
Uh... My dad wears socks and sandals.
What alien would do that?
There's only one way to know.
Get me a...
A DNA sample.
Strand of hair, fingernail clipping.
Put it in the jar, bring it back here.
Is this an old spaghetti sauce jar?
In the meantime,
I'll reach out to my network. I'll see what I can do.
Oh.
You'll wanna wear these.
Protect your thoughts.
And remember...
Zugarians are not to be trifled with.
They are a paranoid species.
If they sense you're onto them, even for a second...
You'll both be appetizers.
I can't believe we're doing this.
Oh.
My rash is getting bigger.
Probably just 'cause you keep scratching it.
Just leave it alone.
Yours is getting worse, too.
Yeah, well, I mean, every time you scratch yours, it makes...
Ronald.
It's changing colors.
-Does that mean they're aliens? -No.
It doesn't mean anything, okay?
Look, it's an old tomato sauce jar that we got from a guy named Crazy Chris.
But if we really wanna know, we have to go back.
-Game night. -Game night.
Maybe they're just weird.
I, I guess we could have imagined the floating furniture.
No, they're aliens. They're definitely aliens!
Hey, come on.
Put your shoes on, we're leaving ASAP.
For the lake?
-The lake? That's today? -Yeah.
I, I need to call Ronald.
It's too late for that now.
The Gusbergs are already here.
-Oh...
-I know this one.
-Turn it up!
Keystone Lake, here we come!
We gotta get out of here.
Come on!
You all good?
Make sure you got everything.
You're in grave danger.
Avoid being alone with them at all costs.
They like to isolate their targets before they strike.
Yeah, this... seems about right.
-Pretty, huh?
Yes, sir. Just us and the lake.
Nothing around for miles and miles.
Hey, would you look at that?
The old boat's still here.
We'll have to take you boys out for a night cruise, huh?
-Yeah, no, we're good. -We're gonna go inside.
What are we gonna do with them?
Nothing.
Just forget the map, let's just run.
We're a million miles from anything.
So? I saw this show where this guy lived on nothing
but, like, squirrel poop for six months.
I... I've got a signal.
Jack? Ronald?
We're waiting...
No screens at the lake.
We're waiting for you out there.
For what?
-For Game Night.
I thought, I thought that was only for grown-ups.
Well, we figured it's time to let you join in on the fun.
You're a couple of mature specimens now.
Hey! Let's get this party started!
Okay.
We'll be there in a minute, Mom.
Your hats are adorable, by the way, but no hats at Game Night.
Dude, they're gonna suck out our brains like milkshakes.
No, we'll get out of this, okay? We'll find a way.
I'll, I'll just grab the keys when they're not looking.
You don't know how to drive.
Well, it feels like a good time to learn.
-Did you put those in my bag? -No, I thought you lost the...
No, no, they're aliens. They're definitely aliens!
-They know we know. -Just try to stay calm, okay?
-My mom has tentacles. -I know! So does mine.
Hey, fellas! Before we get old!
-Too late!
So...
how do we wanna do this?
Well, six is too many for Pinochle.
Canasta?
Too complicated.
I suppose it doesn't even matter what we play...
Then it's Crazy Eights.
Throw the same number or suit as the person before you.
First one to get rid of their cards wins.
Eights are wild.
Maybe we're not ready for this yet.
Don't worry, it won't hurt.
-Wait, I forgot the knife.
RON SR. Oh, come on, the knife.
-- We need the knife. -RONALD'- We need it.
Definitely want that knife.
Oh, honey, that's way too big.
It'll get the job done.
Crazy Eights.
Diamonds.
Jack.
Jack, it's your turn.
Sweetie, what are you looking at?
Nothing. Sorry.
All right, let's see...
Ronald, we can see your cards there, pal.
Oh, come on. Turn...
I know.
Uh, it's a...
...strategy.
-Crazy Eights!
-Look at you!
Come on!
Hurry up! Come on!
I'm trying!
Come on, come on! Hit the gas!
Well, we tried.
See you in the next life.
Boys, boys!
-- Hey! -- Stop.
-Guys, settle down! -Ron, calm down.
-Settle down! -Stop pretending you're our parents!
We know what you are.
You took them, didn't you?
Didn't you?
My parents have terrible bodies. Why would you even want them?
-Ron. -Hey.
Guys, we are your parents.
No, no, you're... you're like aliens.
-Or alien witches or something. -Yeah, we saw everything.
The floating furniture, the head, and those weird tentacle things.
They're called florgs.
And you've got them, too.
No... No, you're aliens.
We're... we're just people.
We're nothing alike.
I know it feels that way sometimes, but...
For what it's worth, we think you're weird, too.
I'm not an alien.
Not to us, you aren't.
You're just our kids.
No, no. What is happening?
Am I an alien or not?
Yes, son.
We all are.
You've, uh, you've had this for a little while now, huh?
It's your body's way of letting us know that it's time.
Oh, it's okay, everything's all right.
This is nothing like Cooperstown.
We wanted to tell you, honey.
We just wanted to make sure you were ready.
Dude.
I guess we really are like you.
No... you're like you.
And that's the way we like it.
We love you.
Love you, too.
Well, I don't think we're getting our security deposit back.
-Nope. -Come on, little doggies.
-All right. -Let's hustle.
Which one's ours again?
See that little speck near Orion's belt?
I think so.
That, my boys, is Zugaria.
Let's go.
So, what's it like?
You'll have to see it for yourself.
Wait, I... I thought we were just driving home.
We are.
Here we go, boys.
-Buckle up.
See you around, boys.
Hey, how about some tunes, huh?