Hey!
MUFFLED MUSIC FROM HEADPHONES
Ryan.
Ryan, haircut. It's getting out of hand.
You're not touching my hair. Cut his!
You're not touching mine.
Oh, have a look.
It's Grandad. Oh, Jesus, that's all we need.
No, don't encourage him.
Oh!
No, they're too old for this.
They're too old! They don't wanna do it.
Pack it in!
Clear off! CHILDREN MOCKINGLY: Clear off!
What do you think you're doing, you silly old fool?
Saying hello to me grandson.
Well, you've got no business.
Says who? You're flouting the rules.
I am not flouting!
Essential supplies - milk, bread and haemorrhoid cream.
And I've worked it out,
it's the quickest route back from the Co-op.
No, it's not.
Yeah, if you use the cut-through down the side of yours, it is.
And...
Little Steve, what's more...
Essential maintenance.
You've got a bald patch.
Just jog on, will ya?
Yeah, I will, when I know that these are all right.
How can they be all right
when their mother's shacked up with the Audi man in East Dulwich?
Gary hasn't got an Audi. I saw it in his drive.
That's his neighbour's car.
Actually, he's got a six-year-old Ford Fiesta.
But, you know, Karen says
you're only seeing what you wanna see at the moment.
Steve-O, she tried to make it work. Oh, and I didn't?
No, no. All she wants now is an amicable financial arrangement,
sort out shared custody.
She made her bed, she can lie in it.
First and foremost, she's desperate to see the boys.
Well, she's locked up with bollock-face now,
so she can whistle for that.
You know, she could call round and see them like I am,
but she's worried that you'll throw a mighty wobbler.
She's been trying to call you...
Bog off and mind your own business!
All right. Hey, listen.
You know, you want to get that scaffolding sorted down the side.
Get it shifted. It's causing an obstruction.
Well, how can I, you bell-end?
The builders had to down their tools!
Bye, lads.
Bye, Grandad.
PHONE VIBRATES
See you tomorrow.
I've got staff screaming, "How long is this going on for?"
Jesus Christ. You know, I'm 43 years old
and I've never even heard of the word "furlough" before.
Well, where did it come from?
LINE GOES DEAD
PHONE VIBRATES
Was that Mum again?
Just eat your dinner.
Ha-hey! He's back.
Do your exercises. Come on!
Exercise!
That's it.
Om!
OK, great, and then...
COUGHS
CHILDREN CHUCKLE
That's you.
CHILDREN CHUCKLE
Thanks, mate.
Have you? Have I what?
Ever met him, Gary?
Well, we've... We've had an encounter.
Me and Ryan think he's all right.
We had that week with him and Mum in Center Parcs.
Thanks for the brew.
Here he is.
Granddad!
Clear off, before I call the police.
Feel free. I'm not flouting.
Observing distancing.
And there's no law against exercising
in the style of Michael Flatley.
You should have been bloody furloughed,
furloughed off to the bloody madhouse long ago.
Right, swearing and dissent.
I stood no nonsense when I was reffing in the Northern Premier,
and I'm not taking it from you.
You're heading for a red if you carry on.
BOTH: Off! Off! Off!
CHILDREN LAUGH
Do you mind telling that idiot father of yours
to stop coming round? 'Why should I?'
Because he's just doing it to wind me up.
'He's doing it because he wants to see the boys.
'So do I. They were supposed to be coming to me
'for the Easter holidays.'
Yeah, but they didn't, did they?
So I'm just focusing on looking after them.
'You mean using them as hostages.' I'm not using them as hostages.
You can call them, you can FaceTime them.
'It's not the same as seeing them in the flesh, is it?'
'It'd be just for a minute.
'If only you promise not to make a scene.'
No, I promise to do no such thing. You stay away.
Because these boys are confused enough about the situation as it is.
'It's not the boys that are confused, Stephen.
'They've accepted that we're separated.
'They just don't want to have to pick a side.
'Will you let me see them, please?
'Stephen, please!'
So what's the matter with these? Nothing.
So why haven't you eaten them?
Get upstairs. Why?
Do as you're told.
Why'd you send the boys out?
Don't start.
Stephen?
I'm in a mess.
I'm sick of everyone believing that this is all my fault.
I don't think everyone does think that, except possibly you.
Cos I would have tried at this marriage.
Yeah, we know that.
Karen was the one who gave up.
But everybody blames me.
But we were all right, once.
We were happy.
Just bit by bit, everything changes.
Sounds like the story of many a marriage.
The worst part of it is that I...
I just can't stop blaming myself for feeling this way.
Because I know there's people a lot worse off than me at the moment.
What am I supposed to do?
Just... Just pretend that my little world isn't falling apart?
You can put it back together again, in time.
I can't see it.
I wouldn't even know where to start.
Yeah, I remember that feeling.
So when did your little world fall apart?
Well, let's call it a flouting of the marriage vows.
Who?
Karen's mother.
It was a bloke she worked with.
I mean, I've no doubt I drove her to it.
I don't have to tell you how impossible I can be.
But you stayed with her?
Well, people tended to do that more then.
You forgave her? Yeah.
Years later.
When she was in her...
When she was in her final round of her chemo.
See, I just wished I'd found a way to do it earlier.
I only mention this because grudges and resentments
can linger forever if you let them.
They gnaw away at your soul until there's nothing left.
Anyway, I'll furlough off.
Tell the boys I'll be by again tomorrow.
Oh, and...
'Ey.
I've still got this, you know, if I need it, so...
watch your step.
Jack! Jack! What?
Come downstairs.
Ryan, you, too.
What?
Just go in the kitchen.
Mum! Mum!
Hello! Hiya!
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