Leave us alone a moment, will you George?
Sure, Mr. Rasoulis.
Plato, my dear friend, what have you done?
How did you come to be acquainted with such a vile devil?
I am sincere when I say he's an acquaintance
that I wish I didn't know.
This man,
although I hesitate to call him even that,
such is his barbarity,
this monster, this beast,
this fire-breathing dragon is Willard greb.
A killer of the innocent, born with no soul or compassion.
Look at me.
Who embraces the lust of evil,
for the euphoria and sexual gratification
he gains from his heinous acts.
Please don't kill me!
The money's in a safe behind the wedding photo
on the wall, all right?
The code is one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, yeah?
I made it easy so I'd remember it.
And there's 20 grand in there,
and you can take it all, yeah?
Just please, please don't kill me and my family.
My advice to you, Plato, is to run.
Run far, far away and never return.
Please don't kill me.
Please just don't kill me and my family, okay?
No, please don't, please, no.
Please don't, no, no!
Put your head up, son.
A real man acts from the heart,
no matter how painful.
The bezonians social club
was passed down to me by my late father.
Back in the '60s, Greek Cypriot immigrants,
still fresh off the boat and stacked full of ambition,
would gamble their week's hard-earned wages
on a single game of cards,
and leave their families to starve
until the following Friday.
Many of my regulars have been coming here
since they were kids, in a tradition passed down
by their forefathers before them.
Hey, Plato.
Some successful businessmen,
others unlucky in life,
but often lucky in love.
I don't think you like me, Plato.
We're a colorful group of misfits,
jokers, failures, and dreamers.
Hello, taz.
Hi, Daisy.
I haven't seen you for a couple of hours.
Hello.
I read that he wanted a real bullet in the gun.
Yeah, not obviously when they're, yeah.
But to be a bezonian
meant there was always someone to turn to
when things were really tough in the real world.
Hello, pav.
Mavron Mike, hi.
Life is a bit like toilet paper.
You're either on a roll,
or you're taking shit from some asshole.
And here I am, Plato "the boss" andinos.
I'm far from a millionaire,
but just as far from hunger.
Anthony was the local retard.
Every community has one, some more than one.
His mother, a disgrace to the word,
abandoned the family and ran away with her new lover
when Anthony was just three.
His father, Carl, was a degenerate gambler
who would bring Anthony along to high-stakes poker games
here at the bezonians.
Once his wife walked out on him,
the gambling spiraled out of control.
He eventually lost everything he had inherited
from his once successful father,
including his self-respect.
One morning, after a particularly bad night,
he put a gun in his mouth, pulled the trigger,
and left Anthony all alone in the world to fend for himself.
The shock of losing his father in such a way
broke something in his head,
and any potential he may have had
died that night with his father.
Anthony would remain a child forever,
dependent on the kindness of others to survive in the world.
Anthony's been coming here every day since that awful night.
Like many innocents tend to do,
Anthony sought out a hero to live through vicariously.
Someone he dreamed of one day becoming.
Plato, achilles is here.
After all,
the innocent have an absolute faith in good.
Hi achilles.
Achilles, you have a lovely suit on today.
Anthony's hero,
local legend and enigma,
achilles.
Everyone had a story about achilles.
Many were exaggerated for dramatic effect.
But one I personally witnessed...
Oi, you, get back here now!
What would become known as
the Michael constantine incident.
Michael, me and the kids haven't eaten since last night.
You need to give me some money.
- I do, do I? - No, don't.
Don't.
A fucking bag or two, huh?
Michael constantine was a degenerate gambler,
former boxing champion,
and serial abuser of his long-suffering wife, Faye.
Achilles was the obvious choice for Anthony's hero.
Tall, fast, powerful, explosive,
and most importantly, fearless.
He struts round north London,
looking for battles to be fought and won.
As childish as that might sound,
this crusader-type attitude
seemed to have an insane effect
when it came to female attention.
I mean, women would just throw themselves at achilles.
Anthony was the perfect adventure and pet project,
as he went day to day seeking courageous acts
to prove his self-worth.
After all, Anthony was the obvious victim
that needed protecting
from the devils and dragons of London.
And achilles was just the man to protect him from them.
He'd been coming to bezonians for years,
but barely spoke a word to anyone.
Just a broad smile, a single fingered salute,
and the occasional grab of his crotch in defiance.
It was the perfect bromance,
formed out of necessity for each other
in what they lacked in themselves.
Anthony's need for protection,
and achilles' need to fight for a righteous cause.
It was both sweet and tender,
but sycophantic and patronizing.
Never been so offended in all my life.
Al Pacino or Robert De Niro?
If you had to choose one, yeah?
Yeah.
I mean if you had to choose one, right?
Who's your favorite?
Pacino.
Yeah, I knew you'd say that.
Only 'cause you think you look like him.
I do look like him.
That's not the only reason.
Well, de niro's the better actor.
Taxi driver, raging bull,
he is probably the greatest actor of all time.
In my most humble opinion.
Michael fucking corleone,
Tony fucking Montana,
and that blind bloke from scent of a woman.
Yeah, but Pacino has a habit of over-acting, don't he?
Yeah, well Robert de niro's a pervert.
What do you mean, he's a pervert?
You know how he fucks black women, don't you?
So what?
That don't make you a pervert.
No, I'm not talking about beyonce black.
I'm talking about Venus Williams black,
the butch muscular type.
Well, so what?
That's just his type.
Different strokes for different folks and all that.
What about you and your Chinese birds?
And you know his father was a famous artist, don't you?
What, a poof?
Put it this way, the conception of Robert De Niro
was probably the only time his dad fucks a woman.
Before and after that, it was just cock,
cock, cock, cock, cock.
Doesn't make you any less of an actor.
What about all this political thing?
He's become a super woke left wing wanker.
I hate people like that, you know, male feminist types.
Everybody knows, secretly, they're just like the rest of us,
and only act like that to get close to women
in hope of a mercy fuck.
Fucking wankers.
All right,
fair point on the male feminist, yeah?
But unfair point on Bobby d.
The man is an artist.
Look at goodfellas.
Robert De Niro owes all his success to Martin scorsese.
You name me one decent de niro film
without scorsese in the director's chair.
John "the actor" adamos was a failed actor
who didn't get any further than a line in the bill,
but a good man, a family man,
and as old school as they come.
He gave up acting for the joy
of housing benefits and child support,
but he never complains.
He finds a way to provide, like all good men do.
No matter how innovative that way may be.
Hello.
Police.
I wanna report a theft.
My car's been stolen.
I parked it at the end of the driveway,
and when I got up to go to work this evening, it was gone.
Heat.
Bastards! Cocksuckers!
Woo hoo!
Taz was raised in a small town in middle Ireland,
moved into London in his teens
when he fell foul of the local crime boss, pat mccullen,
after sleeping with the feared gangster's
80 year old mother.
Taz was a natural rule breaker who lived to shock
and would do the most outrageous things
just to get a reaction from the other bezonians.
But deep down, all taz ever really wanted
was to be noticed.
Hey!
Enough of that.
All right.
I'm not shaking your hand.
Coronavirus, remember?
Don't believe everything the government tells you, taz.
The day I stop shaking hands
is the day I turn in my balls,
slap on a blond wig and makeup,
and go by the name of Lisa.
Fair enough.
The bezonians wasn't as profitable as it once was,
so I had a small side business.
Nothing industrial sized or anything,
just five plants producing north London's
finest herbs since 2006.
And taz would purchase the vast majority of my produce
every nine weeks.
Taz was the local drug dealer,
or road pharmacist as he liked to call himself.
His customers were mainly single mothers
from the local council estates
who would blow their gyro on a cheap high once a fortnight.
Now that's the californian strain I was telling you about.
Fuck me!
That's not bad, Plato.
Plato, Plato, Plato.
Anthony come, come, come see, see, see,
because obviously, obviously I think Lola's here now
and I've got all of the goods
having going to go now Plato.
- Plato, Plato. - All right,
all right, all right, all right.
Taz, we're gonna have to hurry this up, mate, come on.
Lola's here, it's my anniversary Tuesday.
There you go.
Oh, fuck's sake, you scavenging bastards,
you've taken all the good stuff.
Right now gentlemen, these are the real deal, yeah?
Directly from my man in Milan.
The ideal gift for the woman in your life,
and it's 50% off the retail price, yeah?
And that is only because you're all friends of Plato's.
Here Lola, how much is this, babe?
That one's 65 darling.
I'll do it for you for 60.
This Karen millen?
I dunno babe, that's Prada, brand new.
- Hi, achilles. - Prada.
Hi achilles,
it's just me, Anthony.
Achilles,
where, where, where, where did you get them sunglasses from?
I've been, you know, obviously,
how, how, how, how much were they?
Because obviously when, when, when, when
when I get my money, I obviously want,
I'm gonna buy a pair just like that as well, achilles,
so, so, so, so, so, obviously, obviously,
I can look just like you.
Around once a fortnight,
Lola nightingale would pay us a visit
with the latest Louis Vuitton, Roberto cavalli,
and versace handbags, and let's face it,
everyone loves a bargain.
Yeah, go on, 60, but for you, Plato, go on.
There was something about Lola
that was different to other women around here.
Lola had a way of wrapping men around her little finger
with a simple flick of her beautiful blonde hair.
In the wild, animals all class themselves
in a social hierarchy.
At the very top, the alphas.
The alphas dominate all around them
with their superior wit and savvy,
as well as aggression, if and when it is needed.
Alphas often use sexual behavior
in a dominance display towards beta
and omega members of their society.
Other animals display subordinate behavior
towards these alphas,
and often, the beta animals act as a second in command
to the reigning alphas.
But the betas, essentially, are slaves to the alphas,
and do what their told to if the alphas insist.
Here you go, buttercup.
Oh, good boy Willard.
There's a bit extra in there, there's 20 grand there.
Oh lovely, did he put up much of a struggle?
Oh, you never, what, all three of 'em?
Well you know, he showed a bit of stubbornness,
and I take that as stupidity, Lola.
Most people don't kill an entire family though,
do they, Willy?
I'm sorry, Lola, don't be angry with me, will ya?
Now look, I'm not mad at you, yeah?
But I am in a mad hurry, so if you don't mind
making your own way from here, yeah?
What do you mean?
Me motor's three miles that way.
Well look, love, for your troubles, yeah?
So I'll, you know I'll do anything for you, Lola.
I love you.
I've really gotta go, babe, yeah?
See you round, sex on legs.
I love you, Lola.
Daddy!
Hey!
Happy anniversary, my angel from above.
Oh.
You look as beautiful as the first day I ever met you.
And you're still a sweet talker.
Presents for you,
directly from my man in Milan.
Plato.
You're the best husband in the world.
Don't you love 'em?
Oh me,
Gucci?
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,
and never has that been more true than in my household.
I was hardly ever round for dinner
as that was peak hours at the bezonians,
so every morning at seven am,
I would catch up on the previous day's events
in the lives of my loving family.
What you do at school today, Christopher?
Home economics.
Home economics?
What's that then?
Cooking and stuff, like today, I made a cake.
Christopher, men don't cook.
That's a woman's job.
When you grow up, you're gonna meet a woman
and you're gonna marry her,
and she's gonna cook for you,
so next time your teacher tells you to bake a cake,
you tell her your dad said you're not a woman
and you're not a poof,
and there should be no more talk about baking, right?
Don't tell him things like that,
you'll get him in trouble.
Fuck 'em, Helen.
I'm raising a man, not a fairy.
Some of the best cooks in the world are men.
What about Gordon Ramsey?
That's a load of bollocks.
You know as well as I know
the best cook in the world was my mother, god rest her soul,
followed by you and then your mother.
Greek women are the best cooks in the world,
none of these celebrity French bollocks.
Men cooking is all a bit feminine for me.
Whatever happened to the good old days,
where the man would be out working,
the woman would be at home looking after the house
and preparing dinner for her husband?
I tell you what happened to it, left wing bullshit,
that's what happened to it.
What this country needs is a proper leader,
like the Americans have got,
someone like that Donald trump, a proper bloke.
Oh, you and your politics.
Fucking Mexicans.
Mexicans?
Stupid.
What about you, Alexander?
What's the latest?
Yeah, I'm good, dad.
How's school?
It's good.
When I was at university-
- you went university, dad?
Yeah, I went to university, thank you very much.
The university of reading.
For a term.
Doesn't matter, I still went to uni.
For a term, thank you Helen.
I used to sell weed to all the posh kids.
Made a bloody fortune, I did.
Now, you should try doing something like that
at your school, Alexander,
make a bit of extra pocket money.
You cost me a fortune, you do.
Maybe, dad.
Don't listen to your stupid father.
But it doesn't mean you don't have to study.
Anything less than six grade as in your gcses
and you and me are gonna have a fist fight.
Yes, dad.
I'm not joking, son.
I'll seriously fuck you up.
You and your low expectations!
If I don't get 10 a stars, I'm gonna hang myself anyway.
Don't say things like that, I don't like it.
Mavron Mike hagler.
Mavron literally meant black in Greek.
A nickname he gave himself
once he figured out what this Greek word was
that the elders kept saying every time he was around.
But still, it was never meant with any malice.
You're mavron Mike, yeah?
Depends who's asking, don't it?
Yeah, they said you'd say that.
Can I ask you something, mate?
Depends what it is, don't it?
All right, so, er, I'm a shotter, right.
And my regular fella is away in Cyprus,
he's yia yia's sick, man, so he could be gone for a while.
Basically what I'm trying to say is can you get me anything?
What you talking, weed, coke?
No, weed man, just a little skunk, you know,
nothing too serious, mate.
So tell me, whatever possessed you to come and ask me?
Well you know.
You're a bad boy yardie, nah?
A yardie?
Yeah, what, ain't it, like,
part of your religion or something, smoking weed?
So what you want?
Kilo.
That's gonna cost ya.
So well, what do you normally pay for it?
About four grand a key.
This stuff's gonna cost you at least five.
Five grand a kilo?
Hold it down, what you shouting for?
Look, this stuff is good.
And it's Jamaican.
What, from yard, yeah?
Yes, from bomberclaat yard, eh.
Fuck it, I'll take it.
Where is it?
All right.
We're gonna have to go and see my yardie cousin
just round the corner.
It's not far, come, follow me, eh.
Dude.
I'm gonna kill you, bitch,
I'm gonna, I'm gonna kill you, bitch.
I'm gonna kill you, bitch.
Bitch!
Mate, I've always wanted to go Jamaica, you know.
All right, you see that man there?
That's my cousin, Bob,
named after Bob, yeah man.
He's a big time yardie.
Right, give me the money and wait right here.
What, can't I meet him,
have a look at the skunk before I buy it and that?
You mad?
You crazy?
Him no like white man at all, at all, at all, boss.
I'm not white, mate, I'm Greek.
You try and tell him the difference.
No, no, it's too dangerous.
Look, if you want it, you gonna have to trust me.
All right, all right.
You sure it's proper, yeah?
It's definitely Jamaican, yeah?
Fresh from Spanish town, my bredrin,
eh, oo, jah rastafari.
All right, give me the money, man.
All right, all right, all right, all right.
I'll be here, yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you wait right there.
Right.
Mike picked up the bezonian lifestyle
from his late father, Carlton McNally hagler,
who was friends with my father as far back as the '60s.
Mike was one of the funniest fuckers I've ever met.
Playful, and a joy to be around most days.
Hello mate.
I'll catch you on the way back,
I'll catch you on the way back.
But always had his eyes open
and ready for a too good to be true opportunity,
if and when one presented itself.
Wagwan, Bob blud.
I'm bredrins with your cousin, mavron Mike.
Me a Greek man, you know, like the spartans.
You know the spartans, don't ya, hey?
Warrior tribe, with the spear, and helmets and that.
Me waiting for me kilo, mate,
is, um, everything irie with it, boss?
Have you got any spare change, mate?
Oh, for fuck's sakes!
Put your phone down.
Bunch of lazy bitches.
Friday night at bezonians was ladies' night,
a tradition I followed on
from when my father had the place.
Girls came from the local sauna on green lanes.
Mainly eastern European,
and for 50 quid, they could make all your dreams come true.
This attractive lady in the corner
is not a cheaper alternative.
This is eris buster,
the local madame and not a lady to be trifled with.
She pretty much kept herself to herself,
but was there to make sure the girls
were being obedient to the customers,
rather than for their protection from us scallywags.
No, I don't want to.
Oh, come on, girl.
I don't like the black men, too big.
It's a myth.
Look, I've only got six inches.
Ruby, do as you're told, my love.
It's okay, eris, relax babe.
Look, I'm not interested, I'm a married man.
Keep your nose out of her business, all right nigga?
What you say?
You just call me nigga?
Yeah, I called you nigga, nigga!
Nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga!
What you gonna do about it, nigga?
The bezonians was more than a social club.
Its members had known each other since we were kids.
And an attack
on one of our members
is an attack on all of us.
Cunt!
Mavron Mike was no different to the rest of us
just because he's black.
This would be the last ladies' night at the bezonians.
Eris came for revenge with her five brothers.
It was 'im.
Stevie "knuckle duster" buster,
will "the warlord" buster,
Brian "the bully" buster,
and middle child Jamal buster.
He supposedly inherited the color and hair
from his Spanish great-grandfather,
and not the next door neighbor, Jamaican Jermaine.
For every action, there's a reaction,
but a wise man of action
is always preparing for a reaction.
Get 'im!
Go on, Stevie, get 'im!
Stevie.
Surrounded by bats, bodies,
buster brothers, and the entire patronage of the bezonians,
achilles still found a way of taking center stage
by proclaiming his dominance and superiority
over his peers in his latest battle fought and won.
Unfortunately for achilles, his latest call to adventure
wouldn't be as easy.
Pathetic excuse of a man.
Aren't why? Say you are?
Aren't you?
Yes you are, let me hear you say it.
Mm, pathetic, aren't you?
Right, you're gonna wait here,
you pathetic excuse of a man.
Mommy Lola needs to take this.
Might be important.
This better be good, it's not really a good time.
Who the fuck is achilles?
I don't know no achilles.
Look, I really like what I saw,
and I wanna take you out.
Somewhere fancy, you know what I mean?
So you wanna take me out, do ya?
Yeah, go on, I'll let you take me out.
I warn ya, I'm a big eater.
Where were we?
Aren't you pathetic?
- Do you love it, though? - I love it.
- I love it! - You love being smacked,
- don't you? - I love it.
Because you're a little imbecile, aren't you?
- Yeah. - Yes,
little imbecile.
You little freaky imbecile, aren't you?
- Woof. - Louder.
- Bark for me, boy. - Woof.
- Bark. - Woof.
Louder.
- Woof! - I can't fucking hear you!
Woof.
I've gotta go walkies.
You wanna go walkies?
Uh huh.
- Uh huh. - Yeah?
Our little boy wanna go walkies?
I told you I was a big eater.
I don't give a fuck, mate.
Mm.
Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?
Yeah.
All the time.
It's kinda like my thing, that, you know?
What the fuck did he just say?
What you say, pal?
Sorry, sorry, it's a joke!
Achilles was certainly an Alpha male,
and like all true Alpha males, they seek a fellow Alpha
to create what is known as an Alpha pair.
The Alpha pair form a formidable partnership in the wild
and dominate their species.
Lola was an Alpha female in the truest sense of the word,
it had the makings of the perfect match.
The trouble was achilles had never encountered
an Alpha female before.
This is me.
It was sweet of you to walk me home, honestly,
you didn't have to though, yeah?
I ain't really one of them shrinking violets,
you know what I mean?
Quite quiet, aren't ya?
You've not really said anything to me all evening.
I mean, you're the one that asked me on a date, remember?
I only really agreed 'cause I didn't wanna upset Plato.
He is a fucking good bloke, you know?
Can I see you again please?
You're not really my type.
Well, what's your type?
Well, I like,
I like an outgoing type, an extrovert.
You mean a fucking poof.
Er, no, I don't mean I want a homosexual man
to be the potential father of my unborn child,
thank you very much.
Feminine man, then.
No.
No, not that either.
I want a man's man.
I'm a fucking man's man, I'm an Alpha male.
Oh honey, you dress far too well to be a man's man.
I'm talking rough, rugged, tattoos, stubble.
You know, caveman, like, urgh,
you know, like club you over the head and fuck you type.
You know, I want a real man.
I can change.
No, no, no, no, no.
You shouldn't have to change, not for anyone,
especially not a bird, eh?
Look, you are gonna meet a really nice Greek girl
who's gonna think you're wonderful,
and she's gonna worship the ground you walk on.
She's gonna pump out three or four little kiddies for ya
and you're gonna name them after your parents,
like you Greeks love to do,
and you two are gonna live happily ever after
in Palmers green, hmm?
You'll forget I ever existed, I promise you.
I won't.
Look, thanks again for dinner, yeah?
See you round, slick.
Any sign of a little bit of sun,
and the charcoal will be lit
and our radios tuned to lgr
as we all annoy our neighbors
with the sweet smell of succulent pork,
lamb, and chicken souvlaki that would melt off the bone
and into our overstretched stomachs.
Can I join you, achilles?
You haven't been seeming yourself lately.
You've obviously got a lot on your mind,
I'll leave you to it.
Who's up for a big poker night next Saturday?
250 entry, winner takes all, Texas hold 'em.
Mike, are you in?
Well, I ain't doing nothing else.
Sure I'm in.
Leftie, bit poker night next Saturday, you in?
- Leftie? - Huh?
Big poker night next Saturday, you in?
Yeah, I'm in, yeah.
Achilles, you in?
Achilles, poker.
I'll even invite Lola if you want.
What, you think she'll come?
Yeah, course she'll come.
Lola, she likes a game of poker.
Taz, poker on Saturday, Texas hold 'em, you in?
Yeah, why not?
Oh fi, I would like to play as well, of course.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
I'm not playing if he's playing,
he fucking ruins it, man.
I'll tell you what, Anthony.
Just for you, I'm gonna change up 50 ones for you
so you can play all night
on that arcade game you love so much.
But the, well, 50 ones is obviously so much,
there's no need for that, though.
That is, that's, that's obviously very kind of you, Plato.
Obviously are you sure?
Never more so.
Everything all right, achilles?
You don't seem yourself, mate.
Some say it's better to have loved and lost
than to have never loved at all.
Whoever said that didn't know
what the fuck they were talking about.
Obviously, there are some people
that they say that.
It's better to have loved and lost
than obviously to never have loved at all.
Obviously,
people say that, clearly.
They obviously just don't know what they're talking about.
Saturday night came,
and it was a good turnout,
considering the media scaremongering
in regards to the coronavirus bullshit.
I love a good poker night as the rate
was five percent on all hands dealt,
so it was win win for me.
And on a good night,
I could make over five grand with the right clientele.
Right then, it's time to show you Greeks how it's done.
No offense, Mike, yeah?
I'll have you all tonight.
No offense taken.
I'm going home.
Where you going?
Give us a chance to win back our money.
Hi, achilles.
Thanks again for a lovely dinner.
Oh.
Oh bless him, he's sensitive, ain't he?
Take a seat, Lola,
and tell us what the fuck you did to our achilles.
Yeah, seriously though, you might have broke him.
I mean, some men are just soft, ain't they?
Yeah, I've never heard anyone call achilles soft before.
Have you, leftie?
Always hard but never soft.
Hey, that's what he said.
Right then, let's play some fucking poker.
Small blind, 25.
Big blind, 50.
No limits Texas hold 'em.
Ain't you playing, Plato?
I'd love to, darling, but I'm the house.
Best I stay neutral.
I should have read the early warning signs.
At first, it just seemed like a ditzy blonde
getting a little lucky.
I was sure her luck would soon run out.
But what we were dealing with
was a cold-hearted hungry lioness,
surrounded by injured wildebeests.
No, no, no, no.
Fucking hell, shirt off my back.
Fucking hell.
Fucking bollocks, man, I never learn my fucking lesson.
Little did any of us poor bastards know
but Lola had been playing poker
for as long as she could walk.
Her grandfather was the great Phil burgman,
winner of the third world series of poker
in Las Vegas, Nevada and every Sunday,
he would teach Lola the intricacies of the game,
everything from when to bluff, when to fold,
and when to go all in.
All in.
Oh dear.
You know what?
You're not just a beautiful woman.
You're a very lucky, lucky woman.
Well.
I guess that's it, then.
Unless you've finally grown a pair of balls, Plato.
You don't wanna play me, darling.
Trust me, I'm not like the rest of these mugs here.
I know what I'm doing.
Why don't you put your money where your mouth is,
big shot, hmm?
We can all talk a good game.
Well, exactly how much did you want to play for?
How much you got?
Raise.
500.
I call.
I really didn't wanna have to do this to ya,
but someone's gonna have to teach you a lesson.
Raise you, 5,000.
I call.
All in.
The straight's no good to you now, lady.
Are you sure about that?
As positive as Freddie Mercury.
That's 50 grand.
You can't do that, buy in in the middle of a hand.
It's the rules.
Well, this is house rules, and it's your house.
Unless you're not so confident,
I mean, suddenly you don't seem so cocksure.
Oh, I'm sure about my cock, sweetheart.
You can be sure of that.
How much did you say that was?
I bet you all of that, all of it.
Well, you've only got about 10 there, where's the rest?
It's 50 grand, I told you.
I'm good for it, darling, don't you worry about that.
You just worry about whether or not
you can afford to lose all that money to me.
I don't want some poor kiddie going hungry
'cause mommy blew all the shopping money.
Mm.
So just to be clear,
you are technically raising me 50 grand.
I'll raise you anything you want, you silly cow.
I call.
That don't count.
You've only won the money sitting on the table,
nothing more.
You can't do that, you owe me 50 grand.
You seriously think I'm gonna give you 50 grand?
You're delusional, darling.
Don't fuck with me, yeah, Plato.
Do not fuck with me, hmm?
I'm sending someone over to collect my money a week today,
you'd better have it, yeah,
or it ain't gonna end well for you.
Are you fucking threatening me, you bitch?
No one threatens me, do you hear me?
You can't change the rules in the middle of a fucking hand.
This ain't the wild west, this is north fucking London.
And you done well enough tonight, Lola.
You've made a small fortune.
So we're even Lola, yeah?
We're square.
One week.
You can't change the rules in the middle of a game.
She can't do that, I can't do it,
nobody can fucking do it.
This is real life, not a fucking Hollywood movie.
I don't know, Mr. Plato.
Seems like a lot of money to me.
The following morning,
there was a tenseness in the air.
A smell in the room that there would be repercussions
for the beating I took,
both to my pride,
and my bank balance.
The dirty, filthy, rotten slag is pregnant.
£500 it's gonna cost me to get rid of it.
Huh?
Fucking abortion.
Good fucking thump in the stomach,
that's what she wants, the dirty fucking cunt.
Which one?
What's the difference?
So, so, so obviously, obviously, just because,
you know, I just don't wanna,
what's, what's actually is a, is a abortion, Plato?
It's a terrible thing.
Look, can we just change the subject please?
Plato, that's not like you to clam up.
Talk to us, man.
- Yeah. - That's what we're here for.
We're hardly gonna judge ya.
I mean, look at the fucking state of us.
Well.
It was a long time ago.
Seems like forever now, couldn't be more than 20.
Clementia.
She was beauty personified.
Huge brown eyes, luscious lips,
buttered toast hair.
What about her tits?
Did she have nice tits?
I was smitten with her at first sight.
She, um,
she already had a boyfriend,
but it didn't matter to either of us.
We fell madly, deeply, and passionately in love.
The incident, um, probably happened
when we first fucked each other.
The wild and war continued for months, but,
we couldn't be separated.
When she first told me she was pregnant,
my initial thought was joy.
I was so in love with her, she was so beautiful.
But then I thought,
what if it's not mine?
I mean, she had a boyfriend when we met,
and she cheated on him with me,
I mean, what, what if she cheated on me with someone else?
So I had a few drinks,
I asked her straight.
I said, "do you think it's mine?"
The minute I asked her that stupid question,
was like our flame was put out in the fighting times.
She, um, never loved me the same way again.
The, um,
the abortion, um,
was a mutual decision,
but if I asked, if only,
She would have kept it, I'm sure.
But I couldn't pluck up the courage
or the emotional stability to go to the clinic with her.
So I just stayed alone drinking.
Praying to god for some help and guidance.
So she went through with it?
It was the biggest regret of my life.
A sin that will stain my soul forever.
One which I will carry with me from my grave.
I'm sorry.
Try not to regret, Plato.
There's nothing you can do about the past, yeah?
It's a wasted emotion.
You lot are a bunch of fucking girls.
I've had about seven, and I couldn't give a flying fuck.
This kind of geezer, man.
Fuck me.
Taz, what's happening, man?
What's happening Linda?
Come to get that money that you owe me.
Fucking hell, taz man, I'm brassic.
How much is it?
50 quid.
And I've waited 10 weeks for me money, Linda.
I can't wait any longer.
I've got £4 in my purse, you can have that.
Linda, don't talk to me about £4, all right?
I need me fucking money.
Look, taz, man,
I've known you for ages.
I'm sure we can work something out.
Yeah?
What kinda something?
Fuck.
Fuck yeah.
Hello mate, you seen mavron Mike about?
Mavron Mike, no one's seen him?
- Who? - Mavron Mike.
He's not inside?
No one's seen him?
Dunno who you mean, mate.
What about you, you seen mavron Mike?
Mavron Mike, you seen him?
Mavron Mike, you seen mavron Mike?
Mavron Mike in there?
No.
No? You seen him?
No, mavron Mike's immigrated to Jamaica.
Achilles, you seen mavron Mike about?
Why's everyone fucking being like that?
Hey mate, you coming in?
Yes please, mate, yeah, thank you.
All right fellas, looking for Plato.
Sorry mate, we're members only I'm afraid, so.
Oh, so how do I apply for a membership?
No, we're not currently taking on any new members.
What's that, Greeks only?
Does he look Greek to you?
Not particularly, but you know what?
Me application can wait.
Apparently you owe my gorgeous girlfriend
a large sum of money.
I know it's not due til Saturday.
Just to let you know, I'll be here to collect it personally.
Listen, it was just a misunderstanding,
I don't actually owe Lola any more money.
It was just a joke.
Just a joke?
Not very funny, is it?
Well, you had to be there.
Okay, sure.
I'll see you Saturday.
It was just a joke.
Hello, of course, it's Anthony,
you actually have a very, very shiny dressing gown on,
and standing on the pavement, of course,
with you, actually it's very funny,
because of course you're actually
only supposed to wear dressing gowns at home
in the living room.
Um, and of course, you're,
actually you are very, excuse me, very beautiful.
I hope you actually enjoy your night.
Thank you, darling, you too.
Obviously, obviously, of course, of course
you're actually holding hands, actually,
two men obviously holding hands.
Obviously
Plato never holds my hand.
It's nap time.
So tired, so, so, so
so stupid, such a silly man, Plato.
So, so obviously you lose all of your money
to, to, to, to, to, to, to Lola.
Lola.
Such a silly man, Plato.
And Lola, Lola doesn't like achilles either.
But achilles loves Lola.
Plato lost all of your money to a girl, saddo.
Anthony can see him.
He wants his, he wants his Lola.
Please, if you please can,
can, can, can you just please give me,
help me through, through, through,
have something to give them,
some money for my, can you just,
just look after me please, um,
because, some, some, sometimes,
you know, sometimes, I get a little bit,
a little bit scared.
You know, obviously I would just like you
to obviously be my friend.
Some people, they might not like me.
But, but, but, but actually,
you know, achilles, they just,
they just don't know me.
I know, I know, I know obviously I'm not your friend,
but Plato, and obviously achilles,
obviously they're very good friends of mine,
and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm actually quite a nice,
quite a nice man.
Can, can, can, can you please help,
help me clean up.
I just really would love some help please.
Where's Lola?
Er, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
Leave him.
Lola, I want another date.
Please.
Can't you catch a hint, mate?
Hmm?
You couldn't handle me, baby.
Please.
What's your problem?
What, you think I'm scared?
Fucking pussies.
Like all Alpha males,
achilles didn't take rejection well.
But for a hero, the harder the battle,
the sweeter the victory.
For fuck's sake!
Oh, my fucking couch.
Andolis rasoulis was one of britain's
largest drug traffickers with a life sentence
of experience moving heroin from Turkey,
through to Greece, and into Europe.
Rasoulis avoided prosecution working as a highly respected
and long-serving police informant
whose 30 years of information
has essentially given him a license to operate freely
without fear of conviction.
If Willard was really worth worrying about,
andonis rasoulis would be the man to fill me in.
Leave us alone a moment, will you George?
Sure, Mr. Rasoulis.
Plato, my dear friend, what have you done?
How did you come to be acquainted with such a vile devil?
This monster, this beast,
this fire-breathing dragon is Willard greb.
Now, Mr. Quinn, I have the unenviable task
of carrying out a debt,
for my girlfriend, Lola.
My advice to you, Plato, is to run.
Run far, far away and never return.
Please just don't kill me and my family.
Put your head up, son.
I needed help, and I needed it fast.
Person I would normally turn to
when I would need some backup was achilles.
He was as tough as they come with a proven track record.
But the saddest thing in life
is loving someone who doesn't love you back.
Lola barely knew achilles existed.
Achilles was reduced to a sulky, petulant mess.
He couldn't understand why Lola didn't want him.
He was so used to women throwing themselves at him,
the rejection was a dagger into his ego,
and an arrow into his heel.
A man must be a man at all times, Christopher.
I might not be around forever,
so there are a certain few steps we might have to skip,
just in case.
I want you to do well at school.
Education is the most important thing.
I'm not talking about your bullshit, wanky subjects
like cooking cakes class.
I'm talking about maths, English, science, history.
It's what sets us apart from the barbarians.
You must always apply yourself.
Work hard and listen to your teacher.
The hard work you put into your education now
will pay off throughout your life, believe me.
Now, this being said,
having this attitude when it comes to education
might make you a target for some of those
wannabe tough guy kids, right?
But we're Greek.
We're the sons of Zeus, we don't take shit from anyone.
So if you think someone's gonna hit you,
you always hit first.
Never let anyone get off on you.
You hit first, you hit hard,
and you keep on punching until they're on the floor.
And once they're on the floor,
you make sure they stay down.
You do not want anyone coming back at you
from behind with a knife
when you're celebrating your victory with your mates, right?
So you stamp, and you stamp hard.
Yes, dad.
With your heel.
Yes, dad.
Now,
I suppose you're getting hard ons by now, right?
That's all right.
I did when I was your age.
When it comes down to birds,
there are two important things you must know.
Number one.
Never fall in love too deeply.
A man must always be in control of his emotions.
Fall in love too far,
and you'll have your heart ripped out your chest
quicker than you can say captain birdseye.
Number two.
The most important of all.
Only ever marry a Greek woman.
I don't mind you having a bit of fun with outsiders.
God knows, I had my share of fun over the years.
But when it comes down to marriage,
the woman must be Greek.
We are the purest race of people,
dating back thousands of years.
You must maintain our pure bloodline.
But we live in england, dad.
I don't give a shit if we live on Jupiter.
We are god's chosen people,
creators of maths, science, the arts,
sports, and I can go on all day.
For years, the rest of the world's been jealous of us.
And ungrateful for the things we've given them.
But secretly, they all wanna be Greek.
Because we're the only ones who've mastered the balance
between masculinity and intelligence.
Dad, why are you telling me this?
Are you dying or something?
We're all born to die, son.
We're all born to die.
The day of reckoning was here,
and only the closest of my bezonian brethrin
turned up to stand by me in my fight against evil.
I couldn't tell them what rasoulis had told me,
as I knew that would crush the little spirit
like an elephant tramping on a grape.
And after all,
hope is all we had left.
Anthony, stop.
Put it away.
I've got your back, Plato.
Actually, I'm not scared.
Of course, I just, I just, I just wish achilles was here,
Plato, because actually, actually achilles
is not scared of nobody.
And, and, and also, he would actually
just give him one punch and, and,
and send him straight back to where he come from.
Where is achilles anyway?
He's not been around for a few weeks, has he?
Turns out achilles is human after all.
He's only gone and fallen in love with that slag.
What slag?
The one that's got me into all this trouble,
all this aggro.
What, Lola?
You know, I've never really liked her.
Or her fake handbags.
They weren't fake.
Of course they were fake.
No, they weren't fake.
I bought a few for missus.
Doesn't make them less fake now, does it?
What do we know about this dickhead?
Lola's boyfriend.
Does he look tough?
Like fucking Satan, mate.
Mom.
Mm?
Who's orpheus?
Oh, um,
orpheus was the greatest musician in the world.
They say he was so good that he could charm his friends,
his enemies, wild beasts, trees, even stones.
What?
One summer's day, orpheus met the beautiful eurydice,
and instantly fell for her.
So he wrote her most beautiful song he had ever written
and played it to her on his favorite instrument, the lyra.
Well, eurydice was captivated,
and she fell in love with orpheus
and the two lovebirds soon got married,
and they had a wonderful life, but it was short.
One day, eurydice was out in the forest
collecting fruits and berries for orpheus's desert
when she was bitten on the ankle
by a poisonous snake and she died.
Well, orpheus was devastated, and desperate.
He couldn't bare to live his life without eurydice.
So he decided to make the very dangerous journey
down into the underworld to find Hades,
who was the king of the underworld
and the god of the dead.
He pleaded with Hades to let eurydice live again
and to persuade him,
he played him the most heart-rending song on his lyre.
Orpheus sang majestically and beautifully,
a soft and heartbreaking song about his lost love.
Hades was so moved, he agreed to let eurydice live again,
but on one condition.
Orpheus could lead eurydice out of the underworld
but he mustn't look back
until they were both back in the living world.
Well, obviously orpheus agreed without hesitation.
Hades shows orpheus the way out,
and he assures him that eurydice's behind him.
Well, orpheus starts slowly making his way
through the pitch black, towards the light.
As he was ascending,
doubt began to enter his mind.
What if it was a trick?
Maybe Hades was mocking him.
Maybe it was a hallucination
brought on by the grief of losing eurydice.
Maybe eurydice wasn't behind him after all.
Orpheus stopped, and he listened very carefully,
but he could hear nothing but deathly silence.
He lost his faith, and he turned around,
and he looked back.
Eurydice was behind him.
She was a shadow that would become flesh
when she was back on earth.
Orpheus gazed longingly at his lost love
for the very last time.
Eurydice fell back into the darkness
and was lost in the underworld forever.
Time was ticking,
and I was getting desperate.
Plato, Plato!
Achilles is here.
Hello achilles.
Plato,
Plato, actually you're safe now,
because achilles has actually come.
Achilles is here, Plato, now.
There he is, the legend himself,
come to save us from evil personified.
You here to help or what?
Although achilles was just one man,
I was sure if I can get him to join my fight,
he would inspire the rest of us
into doing something out of the ordinary, and heroic.
Forget it.
Just as I thought.
Nothing but an urban legend.
Don't, don't, don't, don't say that
about achilles, Plato.
Meet the real achilles.
Come on, the real achilles.
Nothing but a sulky, heartbroken teenage girl.
Plato, Plato, don't say that about achilles.
You'll make him mad, Plato.
Mad?
You must be mad to fall in love with a slut.
A slut who doesn't even want you, man.
A slut you only ever went out on one date with.
Grow up, would you?
Snap out of it.
Leave him alone, man.
We can all catch a love bug once in a while.
Not me.
I'm a man, mate.
I used to think achilles was a man.
Why just not let him in?
What?
And now they're waiting for you forever?
Nah.
This is my business, my life.
Our lives.
We have to protect what's ours, right?
Now, are you all with me?
I'm with you, Plato.
Nina, open the door and get in the back.
Now!
Evening gentlemen.
Evening to you.
We're not scared of you.
Shut up, Anthony.
Who's this, your local retard?
Not a retard!
Leave him alone, would you?
Yeah, I'll leave him alone,
when I collect the 50 grand for my lovely Lola.
So have you got me money, lads?
I told you already,
it's just a misunderstanding.
I don't owe her 50 grand, for god's sake.
And that's your final word on the subject, is it?
All right, calm down, mate.
Is that thing real?
Fuck!
Yeah, it's fucking real.
Fucking bastard!
He fucking shot me, Plato!
He's fucking shot me!
Look.
I don't have much money, but you can take it all.
Fuck him up, man!
Fuck him up, the asshole!
All right guys, all right.
Enough now.
Enough, easy now, easy.
I don't want him to go anywhere, achilles.
Achilles.
Achilles, wake up.
From the dawn of civilization, the hero was born.
The hero is the most virtuous amongst us.
It was the hero that saved us
from the fire-breathing dragon,
and belongs at the top of any decent society.
We tell stories of the hero's exploits and celebrate him.
The hero is the example of good.
And an example we all strive for.
Lola nightingale was not evil,
but to me, to my bezonian brothers,
and just about anyone else round north London,
she was as evil as one could be.
The ultimate devil, whose attraction,
temptation was so great,
it led to the downfall of both the hero and the dragon.
Lola will forever be remembered as a warning to all
of the suffering, the pain,
and the perils of love.
Plato.
You're so cute!
Thank you, thank you very much.
I am my own hero.