1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,880 MAN: Let's run through the finale one last time. Show opens tomorrow. 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:09,800 Lord Ruthven is not of this Earth, for he is a vampire. 3 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,960 Open the curtain, the sunlight will destroy him. 4 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,200 Nooooo! 5 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,760 LORD RUTHVEN HISSES 6 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:26,560 You may destroy me, but I am not the only vampire to walk the Earth. 7 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,560 For I have a son. 8 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:32,880 CREAKING 9 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,880 A son? 10 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,280 THUNDERCRACK SOUND EFFECT 11 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,200 Yes, a son! 12 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:41,880 DIRECTOR: That's George's cue. 13 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,920 LOUDLY: A son, you say? 14 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,680 What's the little prat doing? George! 15 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,160 Open the trap door. 16 00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:52,160 That's your cue. 17 00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:54,640 Don't make me come down there. 18 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,240 He better not do this on the night. My manager's coming. 19 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,560 Right, that's it. 20 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:01,640 George. 21 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,800 George, where are you? 22 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,920 What are you doing down there? 23 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,040 GEORGE WHIMPERS 24 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,200 This is the dress rehearsal. We open on Friday. 25 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,560 Now is not the time to get stage fright! 26 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:15,760 GEORGE WHIMPERS 27 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,840 George. 28 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,560 George, look at me! 29 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,040 I s...saw it. 30 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,200 Saw what exactly? 31 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,480 The phantom! 32 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,080 HE SCREAMS 33 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,320 Read all about it. 34 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:57,280 Please raise reward for the Dodger! 35 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,480 Also, poisonous smog sends London coughing. 36 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,200 Right, it's Tang's birthday. 37 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,880 We need to nick her something classy. 38 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,760 You distract him, I'll do the nicking. 39 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,400 Good day, sir. I'd like to buy an instrument, please. 40 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,040 Get out of here, you dirty dish. We don't serve you in here. 41 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,080 Oh, please. How about that one? 42 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,320 That? You can't afford it. 43 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:19,760 Get out of here, you vermin. Get out of my sight. 44 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,040 Let's go! 45 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,400 Oi! Go! Oi! 46 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,880 Police! They've got my accordion! 47 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,320 ACCORDION CHIMES 48 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,320 Stop! Come back! 49 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,560 Go! Go! 50 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,280 WHISTLE PEEPS Come back here! Get out the way! 51 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,360 Minnie, quick! 52 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,640 WHISTLES BLOW 53 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,360 Madam, have you seen a boy with a top hat 54 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,080 and a squeezy piano? A girl, too? 55 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,360 Um, no-one matching that description. 56 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,520 Do you mind if I have a quick look around? 57 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:03,720 Be my guest. 58 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,560 You look over there. Yeah, yeah. 59 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,000 Read all about it. 60 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:17,640 Police offer £20 for any information that leads to the capture 61 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:19,080 of the Dodger. 62 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:25,520 Happy birthday. Baked you a potato. 63 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:29,720 Well, go on, then. 64 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,440 WHEEZES, GASPS BREATHLESSLY 65 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:38,200 I can't do it, I don't have enough puff. 66 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:42,720 It's the fog. It's all over London. Playing havoc with her breathing. 67 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,240 I'll blow your candles out for you. 68 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:49,840 What's your birthday wish? 69 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,680 I wish I was better. 70 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:53,800 Selfish! 71 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,600 Leave it out, she's ill. 72 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:59,320 Well, she could have wished for something that'd benefit all of us. 73 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,000 Like peace on Earth or beef hotpot. 74 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,760 No! Don't blow the candles out. 75 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:08,720 We need all the heat we can get. I'm down to me last match. 76 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:14,960 COUGHING 77 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,440 Oh, that's better. 78 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,720 At least I can breathe now. 79 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,640 What did you bring us here for? 80 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,800 This is the most dangerous tavern in London. 81 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:25,880 Exactly. 82 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:30,520 So your wife and my husband won't know anybody in here, will they? 83 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,040 Wench? 84 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,920 Who are you calling wench? 85 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,240 Wait your turn, I got a customer. 86 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,000 Don't you know who I am? 87 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,280 No, but I got a feeling you're about to tell me. 88 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:45,120 I am Dame Eliza Vestris, 89 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,840 actress and producer. 90 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:51,160 20 years at the helm of the greatest profession in the world. 91 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,440 Oh. 92 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,440 GIGGLES 93 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:57,040 I don't really like the theatre. It's all pretend, innit? 94 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,840 Give me a good hanging any day. 95 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,600 At least that way, I know the crying's real. 96 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,240 Go that way! I'm going, I'm going. 97 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,360 Behave yourself. All right? 98 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,280 Police! 99 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:33,920 I'm afraid I'll have to bring my wife to the opening night. 100 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,520 She's been asking and asking. 101 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,280 There won't be an opening night 102 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:39,800 unless I can find a suitable boy for the play. 103 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,520 I'd pay good money to get one. 104 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,240 We've been through ten wet little boys already. 105 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,600 There are no child actors left, 106 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,800 all of them spooked by this phantom nonsense. 107 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,920 Some of the actors believe in it, you know, darling. Yes. 108 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,200 And they use it as an excuse every time they freeze on stage, 109 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,680 don't get a laugh or a sandbag falls on their heads. 110 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,960 "Oh, no, it's the Phantom." 111 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,440 All I know is I have a full house 112 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:07,120 and I don't have a child to deliver the final line. 113 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,320 My reputation is at stake here. 114 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,920 I want my autobiography to end with an ovation, 115 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,680 not with a groan. 116 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:19,080 All right. We've checked the place thoroughly. 117 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,520 Seems like no-one's here. 118 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:21,640 Oh, good. Oh, good. 119 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,360 But we will be back. 120 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,240 Be warned. 121 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:31,960 Pigs. 122 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,800 Someone's dropped some figs. 123 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,440 It's safe, they're gone. 124 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:54,480 You brought the law right under our noses, you rhombus! 125 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,640 We could have been raided. 126 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:57,840 I'm sorry. 127 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:01,480 Whatever you nicked better be worth it. 128 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,360 ACCORDION RESONATES 129 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:08,880 Happy birthday, Tang! 130 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,600 OFF-KEY REEDY NOTES 131 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,080 THUDDING, ACCORDION CHIMES 132 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,000 That is the best present that anybody has ever nicked for me. 133 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,960 What is it? 134 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,960 It's an arm piano. 135 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,640 Oh! 136 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,240 Is that it? Y...yeah. 137 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:31,240 It's not an arm piano. It's an accordion. 138 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,720 Right? Can you eat an accordion? 139 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:37,040 Wear an accordion? Wash your hair with an accordion? 140 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,320 No, but... Exactly. 141 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,040 It's useless. Burn it. 142 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,520 It'll keep our stove warm for another happy hour. 143 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,160 After that, it's a long night of darkness and tears. 144 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,520 No, don't do that. It's her birthday. 145 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:48,960 It ain't her birthday. 146 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,520 I made it up cos I thought she was going to cark it. 147 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,160 What's that? 148 00:07:56,200 --> 00:08:00,960 Oh! I've scrubbed my back with loofahs that could outwit you two. 149 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,680 The boy's too fast. 150 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,320 He's not just a boy, 151 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,560 he's evil and dangerous. 152 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:10,280 First, he tries to assassinate the Queen. 153 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,280 Then he robs my house, steals my mother. 154 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:13,800 Now he sends me this. 155 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,000 It's from him. 156 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,800 I was wrong about him all along. 157 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:23,240 I assumed, you see, he was an illiterate urchin, but he's not. 158 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:24,840 That's what he wants us to believe. 159 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,240 Yes. He can write. 160 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,000 He's clever, see? And he knows where I live. 161 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:32,720 How do you know it's not a fake, sir? 162 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,560 There are Wanted posters all over London, 163 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,120 stories about him in the newspapers. 164 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,320 Because nobody knew that he was in my house 165 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,240 apart from us and him. 166 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,160 Explain that. 167 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,360 Oh, no, don't. 168 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,360 Dame Eliza Vestris, eh? I know her pockets well. 169 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,320 She's already sold all the tickets, 170 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,800 but they're missing a boy to act in the play. 171 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,760 They've all been scared off by this phantom thing, you see. 172 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,800 What's that got to do with you? 173 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,440 I could play the part and earn some cash. 174 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,760 You're not an actor, though. 175 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,960 Course he is. You all are. 176 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,160 Actors are just liars that get paid. Dodger's got a good idea. 177 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,000 You could get a regular wage for the gaff 178 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,720 and pay for a doctor for Tang. 179 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,280 I found that in the bloke's bag. 180 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:14,400 It's got all the words the actors have to say. 181 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,720 I need to learn it so I can play the part. 182 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,360 The Vampyre, a play in two acts written by James Planche, 183 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,320 as performed by Dame Eliza Vestris... Oi. 184 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:24,800 What? 185 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,280 CHUCKLES 186 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,280 How you doing that? 187 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,440 How's she doing that? She can read? 188 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,280 Yeah. Here y'are. 189 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:37,560 What's that say? 190 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,480 "You owe me the sum of two shillings..." 191 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,360 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew it was a bad one. 192 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,680 What about this one? 193 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,720 "Fagin, if you don't pay me soon, I will cut off your..." 194 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,720 Oh, all right, all right, we get the idea. 195 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,200 That's why I don't go out much. 196 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,960 Where'd you learn your ABCs? On the farm. 197 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,360 Me master's son had lessons. 198 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,920 I'd borrow his books and peep at them when he were asleep. 199 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,200 So he gets the part - and then what? 200 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,480 Doesn't sound like a great money maker to me. 201 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,680 Oh, that's just stage one of my plan. 202 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,080 There's a lot more. 203 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,120 But, first, I'm going to need some parents. 204 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,480 CREAKING 205 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,080 Who goes there? 206 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,040 I am armed. I will kill if occasion calls. 207 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,520 Good morning. 208 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,520 THEY CHUCKLE 209 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,240 Ooh. Wotcha. 210 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,680 If you're looking for an autograph, you'll have to wait 211 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:51,840 at the stage door like the other unwashed crackpot fans. 212 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,360 I'm...busy. 213 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:58,040 We heard you were looking for a boy for your fancy pants vampire thing. 214 00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,960 Yeah, we got one. 215 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,160 Our son. 216 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,520 Ain't that right? Our son? 217 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:03,800 Yeah, if you say so. 218 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:05,800 I suppose I'll have to take her word for it. 219 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,640 HE LAUGHS 220 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:11,440 How did you know I was looking for a boy? 221 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,680 Well, walls have ears 222 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:17,240 and...and...and ceilings, and so do carpets 223 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:18,840 and skirting boards, stairs... 224 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,600 We heard you down the pub. 225 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:24,000 Our nipper's a big talent. He can do it all. 226 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,720 What can he do exactly? 227 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:27,960 All of it. 228 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,760 Well, I'm very particular! 229 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:34,680 I don't just accept any old riff-raff off the street. 230 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:36,400 Oh, yeah, but he's special. 231 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,960 He has got the gift. 232 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,760 What gift? 233 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,560 THE gift. Yeah, you know, the gift. 234 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,240 He's got it. 235 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,320 Well, that's as may be. 236 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:50,760 But my actors are carefully trained in the verse of Shakespeare. 237 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:51,800 Who? 238 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,880 Shakespeare. 239 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,920 Shakespeare... I think... That bloke's been down the pub, ain't he? 240 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,440 No, no, the Bard. 241 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,560 I was barred once, but that was a misunderstanding. 242 00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:03,400 You deserved it. I did not. Giving it all that. Just bring him in! 243 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:08,440 But I warn you, I'm extremely fussy. 244 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,880 So you keep saying. 245 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,040 Oi, get in here! 246 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,800 You'll love him. 247 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:19,560 Here he is. My son. 248 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,680 Take your hat off. 249 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,840 Uh, hello, Miss, uh... 250 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:28,960 Nice to meet you. 251 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,960 Are you scared of confined spaces, trap doors, 252 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,000 fast-moving chutes or the dark? 253 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,280 No. 254 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,000 No. Good. Then you've got the job. 255 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,920 Don't you want to see me do me acting stuff? 256 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:43,960 No! 257 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:47,000 The rehearsal room is that-a-way, it's tuppence a day. Chop chop. 258 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,320 Let's go. 259 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,800 That was easy. Piece of cake. 260 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,000 Can't believe Dodger's got us doing this. 261 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,760 Better be worth it. 262 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,160 He's coming. He's coming. 263 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,600 Right, let's go. 264 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,400 What was on Dodger's list? 265 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,360 Newspapers. Uh, horse hair. 266 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,680 THEY WHISPER 267 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,920 White paint, white paint! Where is it? 268 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,440 They haven't got that. 269 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,760 Brushes? Yep. Got it? 270 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,480 Take that. 271 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,480 THEY GRUNT 272 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:22,520 Go, go. 273 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,920 Where are your mum and dad? How should I know? 274 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,760 There's more to that girl than you know. 275 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,400 You were supposed to look after her, that's what you're paid for. 276 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,800 If she hadn't upped and run off to London, I wouldn't be shovelling cowpat all day. 277 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,120 Last I heard, she was heading for an orphanage. 278 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,880 We all know your secret! 279 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,920 I'm searching all the orphanages in London for missing girl - 280 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,320 12 years old, about this big. Charlie, country girl. 281 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:57,200 Have you taken anyone in? No, sorry, no. 282 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,280 This is ridiculous. It's a complete waste of our time. 283 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,680 I think we'll have to cancel the show. Yeah, you're right. 284 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:15,320 It's not like you're going to find somebody off the street, is it? 285 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,640 It's never going to happen. 286 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,480 Ladies and gentlemen of the company... 287 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:26,280 This boy has stepped in to play Lord Ruthven's son, the vampire. 288 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:30,400 Well, it's good casting. He looks just like the living dead. 289 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,560 Yes. Ugly little pug. 290 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,760 Splendid make-up. I'm not wearing any. 291 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,560 Right. We open tomorrow night. 292 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,320 So let's pick up the last scene. 293 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,120 Boy, with me. 294 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,040 I wouldn't want to be down there in the dark for all that time. 295 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,280 Not with the Phantom about. 296 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:51,360 Boy?! 297 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,080 WHISPERS: Any better? 298 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:09,680 Could go either way. She's wobbling on the precipice. 299 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:12,480 RATTLING BREATHS 300 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,400 What you doing? Shh. One second. 301 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,120 Could be croup. Croup? 302 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,920 Had a horse on the farm that had that same rattle in its chest. 303 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,880 Oh, right. What did you do to cure it? 304 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,000 We shot it. 305 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,200 You what? We had to put it out of its misery. 306 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,640 If anybody's going to be put out of their misery, it's you. 307 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,040 Fancy saying a thing like that. 308 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,200 WEAKLY: You're not going to shoot me, are you? 309 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,240 No, darling. We're not going to shoot you. 310 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,000 We're going to shoot her. Oi! 311 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,640 I'm going to speak to Minnie downstairs. 312 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:48,560 She knows a few gangland quacks. Might sort her out. 313 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:49,600 Shot! 314 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,600 Oi, can I have a word? 315 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,480 No, not up here, on the roof. 316 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:08,320 What did you bring me up here for? Sit down, just sit down. 317 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,400 Look at this. 318 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,400 I've been waiting all day to show you this. 319 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,480 They're plastered all over London. 320 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,560 That's Dodger. He's wanted. Well, we've got to go and tell him. 321 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,280 No, no, no. Don't you see? 322 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,440 There's a 20 quid reward on his head. 323 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,960 20 quid's a lot of money. 324 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,520 Now, I can't go to the police, cos I'm on the run. 325 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,680 Oh, here we go. You ain't mentioned that for, what, five minutes? 326 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,560 But you could. 327 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,360 We could split the money down the middle. 328 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,760 No-one would ever know it was us. 329 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,520 Half of 20, what's that? 330 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,640 I d... I don't know, but it's a lot of money. 331 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,080 Fagin says we never rat on our own. Never. 332 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,360 Dodger's not one of our own, though, is he? 333 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,360 He's a chancer. 334 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,560 All he cares about is getting in Fagin's good books. 335 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:57,880 Yeah, well, you dob him in - 336 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,240 what if he tells the police all about us? We'll all go down. 337 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:01,360 Exactly. 338 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,120 So he's wanted, is he? 339 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,720 He's only been in the game two minutes 340 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,520 and he's got the police all wound up. 341 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,440 Look, I just thought if we got the reward, it'd be money 342 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,320 for Tang's doctor. Pull the other one. 343 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,280 You've got competition. You don't like it. 344 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,600 No, that's not it. I better watch you two. 345 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,120 That ain't fair, I said not to do it. 346 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,360 I'm not turning Dodger in, 347 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,560 no matter how many quids they slap on his head. 348 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,240 He'll keep you on your toes, and that's not a bad thing. 349 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:29,280 Seeing as you like those posters so much, go and get the rest. 350 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,960 What? I want you to go around town and pull down every picture 351 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,480 those police wallies have pasted up. Dodger's mine, no-one else's. 352 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,800 No, but... Every single one. 353 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,480 Costume. Make-up. 354 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,600 Now, this is ground-breaking. 355 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,360 It is a trap door. 356 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:51,400 You stand on this platform till the penultimate scene in Act II. 357 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,880 When you hear Lord Ruthven say, "I have a son," that is your cue. 358 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:59,720 You pull this lever, the trap door opens, then you rise to the stage. 359 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:03,880 Mistime it and it's curtains, and I don't mean the velvet variety. 360 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,040 The limelight will cut out and, when it comes back on, 361 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,320 bam, you're on the stage and the audience will scream. 362 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:12,920 Oh. Now, have you ever used smoke bombs before? 363 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,800 No. Well, you throw them on the floor when you reach the stage 364 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,360 as if you have a magic power. Pow, pow! 365 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:19,640 And not too many. 366 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,960 The last boy lost his hand during the technical run, 367 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:25,640 and we found his digits scattered all over the orchestra pit. 368 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,840 And don't think, just because you're a child, 369 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,560 you'll get special treatment. 370 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,720 Mess this up and I'll be using your skull 371 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:35,920 in my next production of Hamlet. 372 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:36,960 Catch. 373 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,800 They say it lurks beneath the stage. 374 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:48,520 Do you know, every actor who's ever seen it ends up in Bedlam. 375 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,520 Do you remember Charles Keir? 376 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,760 Wonderful actor. 377 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,200 Well, apparently, he saw the Phantom whilst playing Hamlet 378 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,840 on this very stage. 379 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,840 CREAKING 380 00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,520 He's never acted since. 381 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:03,160 Well, I hope I never see the Phantom. Ghastly. 382 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,080 Sir? 383 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,200 Sir? KNOCKING CONTINUES 384 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,400 WHISPERS: Sir? 385 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,640 Sir? 386 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:31,800 Sir? 387 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,040 MUTTERS INCOMPREHENSIBLY 388 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:40,520 What? How dare you barge in like that! Knock! 389 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:43,760 Do you hear? Knock, man! Where's your respect, man? 390 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,320 Tuck your shirt in. 391 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,360 Straighten your hat. 392 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,200 You look like a tramp. 393 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,080 Sorry, sir, didn't mean to wake you. 394 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,680 What? Didn't realise that you'd nodded off, sir. 395 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,600 Nodded off? 396 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:58,800 Nodded off?! 397 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:03,600 Grannies nod off. Fat aunties nod off. 398 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,440 Not knights of the realm. Not soldiers. 399 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:07,920 God, what insolence! 400 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,960 Crime doesn't sleep, and neither do I. 401 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,200 I was merely... 402 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,120 ..listening for woodworm. 403 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:21,760 Yes, sir. Now, what do you want? 404 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,080 Uh, post for you, sir. 405 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,080 It might be another letter from Dodger. 406 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:34,120 Yes, he's dipped his quill 407 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:39,200 into his robber's ink and dashed off another evil epistle. 408 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,640 Stand back. 409 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,800 It might be a tiny little snake 410 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:48,720 or a scorpion with a sting in its tail. 411 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,880 Oh, it's theatre tickets, for tonight. 412 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,120 The new vampire play. 413 00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:05,080 Hmm, hmm. 414 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,760 No. Could I? 415 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:08,040 No, no. You can't... 416 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,360 Well, maybe. No, no. 417 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,800 Oh, you... No, I... 418 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:17,360 No, there's no way I can enjoy an evening of leisure 419 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:22,360 when Dodger's out there marauding through honest pockets. 420 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,760 Hmm. 421 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,200 Here, you go. Take Duff. 422 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,920 Heaven knows you could do with the education. 423 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,760 Thanks, Sir. 424 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,520 I've never been to the theatre before. 425 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,360 What? Can't afford it, Sir. 426 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:41,560 Oh. Why not? 427 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,120 Not well-off, Sir. 428 00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:46,080 Got a lot mouths to feed, Sir. 429 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,360 Oh. Well, you only look like you've got the one to me. 430 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:50,600 Children. 431 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,240 Children, Sir. Hmm. 432 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:56,000 I've been blessed with ten of the specimens. 433 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,200 How unfortunate. 434 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,280 Well, thanks again, Sir. 435 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:08,920 KNOCKING 436 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,520 Enter. 437 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:17,600 Wages? 438 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,920 Eliza Vestris, My Life in Theatre. 439 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:28,560 Is that your autobiography? 440 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,800 No, it's God's. 441 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,480 Of course it's mine. 442 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:37,600 Ten years in the making and every publisher in London wants it. 443 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,120 Am I in there? 444 00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:42,960 No, I've only written about the interesting people I've worked with. 445 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,960 Thank you. 446 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,680 Pick up your cues, Act II, Scene III. 447 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,960 Um, Miss, 448 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,160 I didn't get my wages. 449 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:14,000 You'll get yours when you've proved you can do the job. 450 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:18,200 But, Miss, if I don't get my wages, I can't buy dinner. 451 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:21,200 Oh, welcome to the world of an actor. 452 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,000 It's either feast or famine. 453 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:27,120 And, in your case, today, it seems to be famine. 454 00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:28,160 Shoo. 455 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:34,200 Excuse me. Hmm? I'm looking for the All Saints Orphanage. 456 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,640 It's supposed to be near here. Yeah... I might know. 457 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,880 Might not. Please. 458 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,800 I'm tired. 459 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,160 I've been searching every orphanage in London. 460 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,240 This is the last one on the list. 461 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,520 I'm looking for a missing girl. 462 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:53,360 Money talks, love. 463 00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:58,960 There is no All Saints Orphanage. 464 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,560 What do you mean there's no orphanage? What happened? 465 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:03,520 Gas explosion. 466 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,000 No-one survived. 467 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:07,800 Terrible state of affairs. 468 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:09,960 The poor girl. 469 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,400 It's so boring being an actor. 470 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,920 I had to sit around all day, just to do one line 471 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,200 at the end of the show. 472 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,840 I wouldn't mind being paid tuppence a day to do naff all. 473 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,880 Speaking of which, cough up. 474 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,680 TANG COUGHS 475 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,680 Not you. 476 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:30,000 Uh...she didn't pay me. 477 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,960 See? I knew she was a wrong 'un. 478 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:35,320 Exploiting children like that, it's terrible. 479 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,080 Don't worry, she'll get what's coming to her tomorrow night. 480 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,040 Right, I nicked some tickets for you. 481 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:46,880 The Royal Box? 482 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,480 Oh, don't we get proper seats? 483 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,400 I ain't sitting on a box all night, I can do that at home. 484 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,040 All right, it's the best I could get. 485 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:54,160 DOOR THUDS 486 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,920 Just the man. You got my message, then? 487 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,640 Yeah. What's this all about? 488 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,000 Make it snappy. 489 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:06,000 Bullseye's got a cock fight in half an hour and he's odds on to win. 490 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,200 Do you think he'll, uh, pass for poultry or...? 491 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,560 It doesn't matter. The bloke that we're up against, 492 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,080 his eyes are half-shot anyway. 493 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,880 BULLSEYE BARKS 494 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,880 Bullseye! 495 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:22,120 Heel. 496 00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:23,560 Sit. 497 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,560 Cluck. 498 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,560 QUIET BARK 499 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,440 Well, that'll do. 500 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,800 Let's go through this one more time. 501 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:47,800 This is it. Wow. 502 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,120 This is all right. Oh, yeah. 503 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,760 TOM LAUGHS 504 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,720 Bit fancy for a box, innit? Yeah, it's plush in here. 505 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,520 Ladies and gentlemen, this evening's performance of The Vampyre 506 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,880 will begin in one minute. One minute. 507 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:16,480 You know that they say that this, um, theatre's haunted? 508 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,760 Oh, yeah? By a phantom. 509 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:19,960 Yeah? Hm. 510 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,920 I wonder if he'll turn up tonight? 511 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,040 Not if he smells those eels. 512 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:26,560 Here, what are these? 513 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,680 Whatever they are, let's nick 'em. 514 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,920 Do you believe in ghosts? No, don't be silly. 515 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,160 No such thing. 516 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,840 How would you arrest a ghost if there was such a thing? 517 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,200 You can't, innit? Everything would go through the ghost. 518 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:45,040 Cuffs goes right through its hands. 519 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:46,640 I suppose it's like arresting gas. 520 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,800 Put 'em in a bottle, can't you? Cork 'em in. 521 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,360 A ghost can go through walls, but it can't go through cork. 522 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:56,760 It's something about ancient wood. 523 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,440 You want some? No. Ugh. 524 00:26:58,440 --> 00:26:59,600 No. 525 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,000 APPLAUSE 526 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,360 Oh, here we go. Oh. The curtain's going up. 527 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,720 I had a word with the doctor. He can take a look at Tang, 528 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,320 but it's going to set you back 20 quid. 529 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:18,360 20 quid? Yeah, well, these criminal docs don't come cheap, you know? 530 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:19,760 He is the best of the best. 531 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:21,480 He's done Wild Mickey's appendix, 532 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,640 Barry Mattock's bunions and Adam's apple. 533 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,760 All right, you bring him tonight, cos she's going downhill fast. 534 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:30,000 She's special to you, ain't she? All my kids are special to me. 535 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,120 If they make money. 536 00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,560 Yeah, but you rescued her, didn't you, from that poppy den? 537 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,960 I didn't rescue her. I bought her. 538 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,280 And I don't like it when things I buy don't work. 539 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,480 Bring him tonight, OK? 540 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:48,920 I beseech you, do not become Lord Ruthven's bride. What? 541 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:50,720 How long's this going on for? 542 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,760 Yeah, I feel like I've been here days. Yeah. 543 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:58,080 He seeks the heart-throbbing blood of the living, for he is 544 00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,640 a vampire. 545 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:00,720 AUDIENCE GASPING 546 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,720 Oh, man, this is a long play, innit? 547 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,600 How do they learn all these lines? 548 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,440 How do they know what to say? 549 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,360 Memory. Oh, right, yeah. 550 00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:18,920 Where are you hiding? 551 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,040 Am I going to be all right? 552 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:46,360 Yeah. Fit as a fiddle, hunky dory, strong as an ox. 553 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:51,480 Does it hurt? 554 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:54,360 Does what hurt? 555 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,400 When you die. 556 00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:59,520 What are you talking about dying for? And how should I know? 557 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,480 I'm not the living dead, am I? 558 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:10,120 I've heard it's all white. White lights, the whole shebang. 559 00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:14,520 Mind you, it's not like anybody's come back for breakfast, is it? 560 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:17,120 Don't go. 561 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:23,640 You need to go to sleep. 562 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:26,480 Come on. 563 00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:30,760 That's it. 564 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,000 Night, night. 565 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:42,080 You cannot understand. You are so young, so young. 566 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,920 The man you know as your lover 567 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:46,920 is half man, 568 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:47,960 half bat. 569 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:49,360 CRASHING SOUNDS, AUDIENCE GASPS 570 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,480 Oh! Oh, man, that was scary. 571 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:53,440 Bat?! No! You missed a good bit. 572 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,280 Yeah? What happened? That one there, 573 00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:57,760 he's a bat. I cannot! 574 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,080 What, in real life? No, in the thing. Oh, right. 575 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,360 Open the curtains. 576 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,800 The sunlight will destroy him. 577 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:08,920 I can't do it. I love him! 578 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:12,080 If you won't, then I will. 579 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:13,880 Noooo! 580 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,640 HISSES 581 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,400 CHOKES, COUGHS 582 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:20,560 Die, you beast! 583 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,320 I've got a bone. You've got a bone in there. 584 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,520 You may destroy me, 585 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:30,920 but I am not the only vampire 586 00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:32,720 to walk the Earth. 587 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:34,440 GAGGING AND RETCHING 588 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,280 For I have a son. 589 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,040 DUFF COUGHING, AUDIENCE SHUSH HIM 590 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,400 Shh! You see a man dying here? Shh! 591 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:43,640 A son? 592 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,320 THUNDERCRACK 593 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:46,680 CREAKING 594 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,680 OMINOUS CHORAL MUSIC 595 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,800 It's real! The Phantom! 596 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,120 Get out, get out! Run! RUN! 597 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,280 HISSING, PEOPLE SCREAM 598 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,040 WHISTLE CHIMES 599 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:13,280 Everybody, vacate the premises in an orderly fashion! 600 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,760 Ruuunnn! 601 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,480 Wait! Wait! Come back! 602 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,360 Who are you? Get off my...! 603 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,600 Agh! 604 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,040 SCREAMING 605 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:38,920 Oh, it was horrible! 606 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,560 Did you see the face? 607 00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,040 What about the boy? He's still in there with it. 608 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:45,360 Who cares about him? 609 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,160 What about my box office? 610 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:02,360 DODGER: Charley! 611 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,520 All right, Bill, stop building your part up. 612 00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,200 I'm sweating my cobblers off in this thing. 613 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:23,560 Come on. 614 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,920 Right, we've got about five minutes before people get suspicious, 615 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:30,280 there's no time to waste. 616 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:33,600 Tom, Charley, you do the bar. Polly, the cloakroom. 617 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,640 Me and Bill, we'll do the safe. 618 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,160 Good luck. See you back at the den. 619 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,280 TOM: Right. Right, we ain't got much time, 620 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,560 so, you two, nick everything you can, right? 621 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:43,600 Come on, Bill? Where's your takings? 622 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,040 It's behind the painting. 623 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:46,560 Let's go. 624 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:48,920 Where's the key? 625 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:50,400 It's in the top drawer. 626 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:50,400 BILL GROWLS 627 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,320 Um, maybe the second drawer. Dodger! 628 00:32:58,160 --> 00:32:59,960 It'll be here somewhere. 629 00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:02,560 Come on! Or here. We haven't got time for this! 630 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:04,640 Maybe in here. 631 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:05,760 Dodger! 632 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:09,000 I'm sorry, Bill. 633 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:11,440 She must have run off with it. 634 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,400 I have not got time for this. 635 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:14,480 Move. 636 00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:23,600 Come on, Bill, hurry up! 637 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,720 Wait, hang on. How are we going to open it? 638 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,440 We'll have to worry about that later. 639 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,280 Oi, don't forget the mask, that's evidence. 640 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,600 I've invested a fortune in this production. 641 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,720 I can't have my takings go up in smoke. 642 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,760 You've got to help me get this audience back inside. 643 00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,520 I cannot afford to give them a refund. 644 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:03,480 What's that? 645 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:12,840 This is the most dangerous tavern in London. 646 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,360 I don't really like the theatre. It's all pretend, innit? 647 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:16,600 Good morning. 648 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,880 We heard you were looking for a boy for your fancy pants vampire thing. 649 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,400 Our nipper's a big talent. He can do it all. Nice to meet you. 650 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:28,040 The trap door opens and you rise to the stage. 651 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:30,400 We've been had. 652 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,720 My safe! 653 00:34:39,720 --> 00:34:41,320 You two! Look lively! 654 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,160 Follow me! 655 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:46,280 We have to catch them! This way! 656 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:51,880 It's gone! 657 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,600 SHE WAILS 658 00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:57,240 Was there anything valuable inside? Well, of course there was! 659 00:34:57,240 --> 00:34:58,960 Do I look like the kind of person 660 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,280 who would lock up her toenail clippings? 661 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:04,720 The contents of that safe are priceless. 662 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:07,880 Block all the exits. Ring the alarum bell. 663 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:11,560 Murder! Treason! 664 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,080 All right. Duff, you search the front of the theatre, 665 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,080 I'll search the back. 666 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:17,840 Make haste! 667 00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:21,280 Oh, my safe... 668 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:22,800 You were really good tonight. 669 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:24,240 Oh, was I? Yeah. 670 00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:26,880 Get out! 671 00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:30,160 Boy, run! It's the police! Boy! 672 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:31,640 WHISTLE BLOWS 673 00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:33,480 Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. 674 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,200 She's here! She came in here! 675 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,400 Blathers! I'm going round the back. 676 00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:00,800 Right, what'd you get? What'd you get? 677 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,200 Snuff boxes, half a tub of jellied eels 678 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:04,560 and a couple of neckerchiefs. 679 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,520 I robbed the whole bar of crystal glasses. 680 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,080 Oi, what you waiting for? Don't hang about - move! 681 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:10,400 Come on! 682 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:11,960 TOM GROWLS 683 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:13,480 Where'd she go? 684 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,880 She's a little thing, a little thing in a soldier's outfit, 685 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:17,840 a little soldier... I'm stuck in the garden! 686 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,720 What? I'm stuck in the garden! 687 00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:21,320 I can't get out! 688 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:26,720 Duff, there! There she is! She's... 689 00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:28,000 BLOWS WHISTLE 690 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,600 Duff, she's behind you! 691 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:35,120 Duff, she's behind you! Look, there! 692 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:37,400 Where? Come back! Where did she go? 693 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,080 Come back! Where? 694 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:43,960 Looks, look, she's crawling up there like a rat. 695 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,040 What you doing?! 696 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,720 There she is! Behind you, Duff! 697 00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,000 She's there, Duff! Grab her! 698 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:02,760 Ha, ha, ha! Where do you think you're going? 699 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,960 Here we are. Get off! Get off! 700 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,000 You are under arrest. Get off! 701 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,680 Come on. 702 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,680 BLOWS WHISTLE 703 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:14,120 BLOWS WEAKLY, GASPS 704 00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:17,200 THUDDING 705 00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:17,200 Oh. 706 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:25,200 What's going on? 707 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,560 Well, Dodger got the safe, but he couldn't get the key, could he? 708 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:34,600 I haven't seen one of them locks before. 709 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,560 It's one of them new Chubb ones, innit. 710 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,800 We're going to have to blow it up if we want to open it. 711 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,480 Yeah. You got a bomb? 712 00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:43,280 No, I ain't got a bomb. 713 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:47,680 Stop a minute, you're squeezing too tight! Off! 714 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:49,000 Shut up. 715 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,160 Here's the little toe rag you wanted to see, Sir. 716 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:53,720 Shove me like that again and I'll do you! 717 00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:55,360 Where'd they get their manners from? 718 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,040 Leave us. 719 00:38:01,240 --> 00:38:03,960 I am Sir Charles Rowan, Chief of Police. 720 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,640 That was quite a stunt you pulled at the theatre tonight. 721 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:08,080 Thank you very much. 722 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:13,080 Eliza Vestris said there was a young man involved 723 00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,120 who matched this description. 724 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,320 It's him, isn't it? 725 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,080 The one you call Dodger. 726 00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:22,840 Hmm? 727 00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:25,920 We know you're in his gang. 728 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:30,160 My officers have seen you two scrapping around the streets. 729 00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:41,560 Oh, look. 730 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,400 Imagine what you could do with this. 731 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:51,720 You could make something of your pathetic little life. 732 00:38:51,720 --> 00:38:54,400 I'll make something of my "pathetic little life", all right. 733 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,640 But I don't need to snitch on someone to do it. 734 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,680 Oh, it's not a case of snitching. 735 00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,400 You'll be saving Dodger. 736 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,720 I can't tell you how many children I've seen dying 737 00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:07,240 doing filthy jobs for filthy criminals. 738 00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,880 They're using you. Just like you're using me now, then, 739 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,160 to get information. I ain't stupid. 740 00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:19,520 Where is Dodger? 741 00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:32,360 Have you ever used smoke bombs before? 742 00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,720 Oi, hang on! Pow! Pow! 743 00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:37,800 These'll work - smoke bombs! 744 00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,000 Yeah, all right. Leave it to me. Stand back. 745 00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,680 All right, then, let's do a deal. 746 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:53,400 But I ain't ratting on Dodger. 747 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:57,400 You know why? It's not him you want. He's just a puppet. 748 00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,200 Now, if you give me that money and you let me go scot free, 749 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,560 I'll give you the name of the gang leader, 750 00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:06,360 the person pulling the strings behind the whole outfit. 751 00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,120 How about that, then? 752 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:10,160 Now we're getting somewhere. 753 00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,080 Oh, yes. 754 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,760 Hold on to your eyebrows. 755 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:17,960 Come on, child. 756 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,240 Spit it out, the name. 757 00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:21,480 Give me the name. 758 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,000 No, I want it writ down for proof. 759 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,960 Otherwise, it's your word against mine 760 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:28,680 and mine don't count for buttons. 761 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:35,400 Very well. 762 00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:40,520 And what should I write? 763 00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:43,840 That I, Polly Crackitt... 764 00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:48,200 ..can never be arrested nor slammed up 765 00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,000 if I tell you who Dodger's boss is. 766 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,080 And don't try to stiff me. 767 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:55,920 I might be dirty, but I'm not daft. 768 00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:59,280 I want it writ proper. Writ proper, hm. 769 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,840 This is going to be a big one. 770 00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:10,920 Satisfied? 771 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,680 Three... Oh, ho, ho, ho. 772 00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,320 Come on. 773 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,040 Stand back! 774 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:20,080 Two... 775 00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,720 Who gives Dodger's orders? 776 00:41:22,720 --> 00:41:24,080 One! 777 00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,280 I do. 778 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:29,640 I know you don't care who's running the show. 779 00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:31,480 It's Dodger you want. 780 00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:34,920 It really sticks in your guts that a little lad like him 781 00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,800 can run rings around you, Lord of the Police. 782 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,920 Well, you best get used to it, cos you'll never catch him 783 00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:42,320 and you won't catch me neither. 784 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:43,640 Cheers for the dosh. 785 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:44,840 Oi... 786 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:47,280 Stop her! 787 00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:48,720 Stop her! What? 788 00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:49,960 Stop her! 789 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,000 She tricked me! 790 00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,040 Oh. 791 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:01,240 What is it? What's inside it? 792 00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:06,520 Open, you...! 793 00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,880 What is this? 794 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,320 Eliza Vestris, My Life in Theatre. 795 00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:21,760 Oh. Oh? 796 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,960 That's her book. A book, yeah? 797 00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:28,720 When she said something was priceless... Yeah? 798 00:42:28,720 --> 00:42:30,480 ..I thought... You thought... 799 00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:32,320 she was talking about... Money. ..money, 800 00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:34,760 but she was talking about her... Her book. 801 00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:38,560 So you're saying that we went through all that trouble 802 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:40,760 for some scraps of paper? Bill! 803 00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:43,800 TANG COUGHS 804 00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:49,520 How are we going to pay for a doctor now? 805 00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:52,680 Hello, guys? Look what I've got. 806 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,480 A cup of coffee for you, Sir. 807 00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:21,480 DISCORDANT MUSIC 808 00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,040 I wish she had died now.