Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver
Ladies and gentlemen...
Saying goodbye to my babies.
You could rethink this whole move.
Good bye, apartment.
All right, boy. You ready to do this?
Here we go
Yeah!
Pitstop number 35.
On the road again.
First palm tree sighting.
California.
Ready to go to the bathroom?
Sometimes you just gotta go.
WOMATell me, have you set up any interviews yet?
Um, you know, I got some leads,
and, uh, you know, I got the tutoring thing, so...
I just think it'll be better when you find a new school.
You know, it's important to have something full-time.
You know, I'm actually gonna go grab dinner with some people.
WOMAOkay, that sounds good. I'm glad you checked in baby.
- Love you. - I love you, too.
- Okay. Bye. - Bye now.
Special day today. We have a Teacher of the Month.
Hello.
After you.
Hey!
Yeah, just got here. Seriously?
You are such a flake.
I'm fine. Yeah. Bye.
Nobody likes a flake.
That's true.
Sorry.
I'm Sam.
Andrew. Andy.
Can I buy you a drink? Or your next one?
Uh, sure.
Cool.
Wait, so, like, what did you listen to, growing up?
All kinds of stuff.
All kinds of stuff, you want to be more specific?
I did have a big Christmas music phase.
- Christmas music? - Yeah.
Really? You listen to, like, Jingle Bells year-round?
More like Silver Bells, but yeah.
And here I was picturing a hard core drummer dude.
I was a hard core drummer dude.
Mmm-hmm.
This is what I get for trying to be honest.
I love it. You were a cheese ball.
You were like a nostalgic old man
in a pre-pubescent boy's body.
It's pretty accurate, actually. Yeah.
What about you?
What did 12-year-old Sam listen to?
Oh, no. Way too personal.
Okay.
So why are you here, Andrew?
Uh, beats drinking alone.
No, I mean, like leaving Texas and moving to LA.
Why now?
Oh, it just felt right.
Hmm.
Just a...
What're you doing?
I'm sorry. I'm just calling bullshit.
Okay.
Yeah, I...
It was a break up. Really.
You moved because of a break up?
I mean, it was a big one.
We were together for, like, six years.
- Wow. - Yeah.
What was her name?
Emily.
She was a counselor, is a counselor
at the same school we worked at together.
What happened?
One day she called in sick and decided to stay home and...
This is really cliche.
I... showed up trying to surprise her
with some soup or whatever,
and she was in our bed with the gym teacher.
Oh, no.
Mmm-hmm.
That sucks. I'm so sorry.
It's cool. It's probably good to talk about it.
Do you want to get out of here?
Yeah.
Um, I think he's here.
Oh, there he is.
- So, location scout? What is... - Mmm-hmm. I know.
It's kind of confusing
but I basically, like, book the venues
for music festivals and then, concerts.
All that stuff.
- Sam? - Yep, that's me.
So are you scouting any events right now?
I'm actually working on this festival that...
Sorry. Just give me one sec.
Oh, yeah, sure.
You want me to put on some music or something?
Oh, no, we're good. Thank you.
- Peppermint? - Huh?
Freshen up the breath?
Yeah, actually. Thank you.
I got you.
This is cool.
I'm actually subletting from a family friend.
I've been like, wow, three years now.
Nice.
Sorry, did you forget something?
No. Uh, thanks for the ride.
You got it. You kids have fun.
Huh.
Make yourself at home.
There's a couple of beers in the fridge.
Cool.
Ah, it's a nice place you've got.
You live here alone?
No, but my roommate's never home.
All right. To your roommate, then.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
So, I want you to stay the night.
But I don't want to have sex or anything.
Can we just fool around and you can hold me or whatever?
Of course. Yeah. Sounds great.
- You sure? - Yeah.
Is that cool? I just kind of ended it with this guy, and...
Yeah, no. Yeah, it's cool. Of course.
You know, I'm not really a first night kind of guy anyways, so.
Oh, fuck!
Shit!
- Hi, Evelyn. - Adam.
Andrew, actually. But...
Look, you've got two minutes.
Let's get this done.
Okay, let's... Let's go.
How long have you been tutoring?
Um, I've only been with Quasar for two months,
but I've actually taught junior high for the past six years...
Josephina, move your fucking van.
I mean do you actually enjoy working with teenagers?
Because Jeremy is pretty intense.
I mean, yeah, it could be challenging, but I do...
He's got the attention span of a goldfish.
I think he got that from his father though.
Yeah, it's pretty common. Uh, does he have...
Okay, Tuesday, 2.30. Do not be late, Adam.
Yeah. Okay, sounds good.
What the fuck.
Hi.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Hello, hello.
- Hi! Just one sec. - Okay.
What a dog. Oh, what a dog. Do you mind if I pet him?
Oh, my God. Hey!
Oh, I know what you want. I know what you want.
I know what you want. This cool?
Yeah.
Hey, oh, man!
Great spirit. What's his name?
- Juicebox. Yeah. - Juicebox?
You have such a cool name, you know that?
Oh, sorry. Uh, I'm Roger. Roger Perkins.
Andy.
You know, man, I think you drove me home last night.
You worked for Ryde, yeah?
I must have. Yeah.
Yeah, I thought so.
You dropped me and my friend off, last night.
Yeah. You had a girl with you, right?
That's right. You gave me a peppermint?
That's right.
You really had it going on. Good for you.
Thanks. Uh, so do you live around here?
Um, not really.
- You from LA? - Me? God, no.
Yeah, me neither.
- Where are you from originally? - Back east.
Dallas originally and, uh... I actually just moved here.
Cool. Welcome to Los Angeles.
You need any recommendations or advice?
I know my way around town.
Cool, man. Yeah. Well, I hope to see you around.
Yeah. Yeah, that'd be awesome. We should grab a beer sometime.
Not a lot of genuine people in LA.
Give me your number and I'll hit you up.
Yeah, that sounds good.
Uh, it's 512...
- You wanna put it in your phone? - No. Hit me.
Okay. Um, 512-989
8909.
Very cool.
Very cool. All right. See you soon, Juice.
Let's go, boy. Come on.
Just checking.
Yeah. You remembered.
Yeah, I know.
Good night, smooches.
Wait. Was that Josh?
I thought you said you were over it.
Yeah, I am.
But his sister's getting married in Bordeaux this summer so.
So you're waiting until after the wedding?
That's pretty cold.
I've only ever been to Paris.
What?
That dude at the counter?
- It's just... It's nothing. - No. I got you.
You want me to give him a little scare?
Oh, no. Just want a beer.
In order to hide this weakness and deceive the British,
Washington ordered his men to fill empty gun power caskets
with sand.
Hey, Jeremy, you mind putting the phone down?
Cool. Thank you.
- So... - Hey, you Snap?
- What? - Snapchat. Do you have Snapchat?
No, I don't Snap.
But I bet you're on Insta, though. Right?
- Okay, man. Uh... - No, never mind. I found you.
Hmm.
Hmm, what?
You seem kind of self-obsessed man, like...
Look, there's this one picture of a girl here
she's cute and all but the rest is just...
selfies.
Yeah, uh...
I'm not trying to trigger you or anything.
I'm just saying maybe once in a while
post something that isn't your face or whatever.
Okay. Yeah, I'll try that.
- Hey, buddy. How's it going? - Hey, bud.
You see any stars out there, or what?
Yeah, actually, I saw Patricia Richardson pumping gas.
You remember her?
Jill Taylor from Home Improvement?
You bet your ass, I remember her.
Yeah. And, uh, I met a girl, actually.
Wow, that was fast.
Get to it.
Yeah. I mean I don't know
if we'll go anywhere but she's cool.
That's good. It's up here on the right, right there.
She's also a location scout,
so she knows all these cool spots,
and... she's cool.
That's good, man. Well, hey I got to get back to it.
I'll catch you later.
Yeah, of course. Tell everyone I say Hi.
Yeah, right here. Yeah, will do, man. Adios.
Yeah. It was good to...
Hey, can I get that bottle right there?
To the left of that.
No, no to the right of that.
Yeah, that's it.
- How's it going today? Busy? - $39.99.
I said how's it going?
It's going great.
I mean, people are just like that, right?
No, but I've known this guy since we were, like, five.
You think he could just, like, shoot me straight?
Yeah, that's crazy.
That sucks, man.
I can't say it's that surprising.
People are just wrapped up in their own shit.
Yeah, you're probably right.
it's just so... easy to lie.
Straight shooters like you and me, man. We're rare birds.
Well, I don't think he lied. It's not like that.
I just think it's when a couple breaks up,
their friends choose a side and...
And I think he just chose her side.
So...
Something must have happened, right?
I mean, uh, you guys didn't have a falling out before you left her.
No. And we were cool.
Well, that's good. Glad you didn't lie.
I hate that.
Hey. How about another?
On me.
Yeah, why the hell not.
Why the hell not.
Okay. Two more.
- Thanks. - Hmm-mm.
- See you later. - Yeah.
You all right?
Yeah. This is fun.
Yes, this is fun.
Uh, so many good brunch spots.
We should definitely do that as well.
- Sounds great. - I'm over here, man.
All right. I'm this way.
- I'll see you... - I'm also this way.
I'm over here too.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah.
All right then. It was good to see you.
- Thanks for meeting up. - Yeah, it's great.
- It was great. - It was.
- I'll see you next time. - Hey...
The fact that you know you can share stuff with me, it means a lot.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- You're a real one, too. - Thanks.
- Take it easy, man. - Thanks, Andy.
Emotions and shit.
I'm gonna hit you up, Andy. You're the man.
Sounds good, man.
Fuck.
Oh, he's so cute.
Oh, I forgot. I got you something.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah. Thought you liked it.
That's so sweet.
It's great.
It's like, uh, real nature.
Yeah? If you like this, we should go camping sometime.
I have this spot that you would love.
You'll feel like you're in another world.
You okay?
Yeah. I'm good.
You sure? Because we could turn around if you want.
No, no, no. Let's keep going.
I mean, unless you wanna head back.
I feel great.
You don't look like you feel great.
Yeah, I guess, I kind of got after it last night.
Actually went out with, uh, our Ryde driver from the other night.
Yeah, I just randomly ran into him the next day.
Don't know, he seemed like a nice enough guy.
Cool. How was that?
It was fine. Yeah. We just drank.
I mean, there's something a little off about him, but...
Speak of the devil.
Looks like somebody has a new best friend.
No, this is my guy.
You know what, I think we should...
We should get him back. He needs some water.
Yeah, sure.
- Yeah. - Come on, Juice.
Poor Juice.
Is that him again?
Yeah, he's calling me this time.
- I should just... Thanks. - Yeah, yeah sure.
- Hey, buddy. - Hey, man.
Fun time last night, yeah?
Yeah, listen. It was fun.
What are you doing today? You wanna hang?
Uh, I'm still pretty hungover.
I feel you. I feel you.
I think I'm just gonna stay in today though.
Got ya.
Well another time then.
- Yeah. All right. - Cool.
I'll be seeing you.
Okay, man. Bye.
Nicely done.
Thanks.
Who's the cutest dog of them all?
You.
Whoa!
Saying goodbye to my babies.
You rethink this whole move.
This is management office. Leave a message and why you're calling.
Hey, Mrs. Arcasian, this is Andy in unit two.
I just wanted to let you know that I'm changing my phone and internet provider.
Unfortunately, I won't be home tomorrow for the install.
So I was hoping you could let the guy in for me?
He's scheduled to come by tomorrow around 4:00.
Anyway, here's my new number. In case you need to reach me,
it's 818-749-8802.
Just really loving the new place.
Here, Juice.
What kind of songs did you play?
Punk rock, Christmas covers, or...
Blues, like, blues rock... stuff.
I could send you some if you want.
Yeah, I'd like that.
Cool.
I used to wanna be a singer.
My mom had the most beautiful voice.
I practiced and practiced, dressed up just like her.
But then when she left, I just stopped.
I'm sorry.
How old were you?
Ten.
But with the event stuff,
I can still be around that energy.
It's great to see people doing what they love, you know.
Yeah.
Glad you brought me out here.
Me too.
What is it? Good boy.
What is it? What's wrong?
Huh?
What's wrong?
Wanna go outside, huh?
Juice.
Juice, get over here.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
Do you have time to make a quick stop before you get back?
Yeah, sure.
No big rush.
Cool.
You good, Juice?
It's cool to be here?
Yeah.
Okay.
Is he okay in there?
Oh, yeah, he's fine.
Holy shit. It's huge.
What was this place?
I'm not sure. Factory or something.
What kind of show is it supposed to be?
These two like Gasher bands.
That was five years ago now.
Why did it get cancelled?
Dude broke his leg during setup, promoters lost their insurance.
And how do you even find something like this?
It's not exactly a music venue.
I don't know.
I've always just liked to explore whatever.
I know it's kind of weird, but there's something comforting about these kinds of spaces,
you know?
Yeah, I know. I know what you mean.
You have fun with me?
Yeah. Of course.
- Appreciate it. - Okay, great. See you next week. Okay?
- Thanks. - Bye.
Really?
Wow.
- Hey, Mom. - Hey, honey.
You sound good.
I'm feeling good.
Oh, that's great. I'm relieved.
Relieved? Why relieved?
I just mean, it could be hard, you know, moving to a big city
where you don't really know anyone. That's all.
Yeah, that's true, you know, I'm... actually met some cool people, so...
Oh, I forgot to text you.
I saw Emily at the... yesterday.
That's nice.
You know, it was. She got bangs.
It's different, but it really suits the shape of her face.
Yeah, you know, you know, I should probably get going, you know?
Not a lot of women can pull that look off, you know.
Yeah, I'm sure that's true.
I know, I know.
Look, I really can't do this right now, okay?
You two were such a nice couple. I don't know what happened.
- What'd you do? - Yeah. Look, I gotta go, all right?
- I love you. Bye. - Love you too.
Fuck.
Hello?
Hey, is this Andy?
My name's Bill Carver. I'm a friend of Evelyn Borrows. Jeremy's mom.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Listen, I'm sorry to reach out like this, but my son Nathan,
he has a history final on Wednesday and he could use some help.
Get out you son of...
Hello?
- Hey, I'm sorry, man. - Oh, I'm sorry. That's some kind of name.
No, it's not what I meant. Sorry to...
Sit the fuck down.
What do you know about this?
I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here.
I'm just gonna get...
Just sit down.
Motherfucker, sit the fuck down.
Okay. Okay, listen, I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry. That was just... Just hold on...
Maybe you're trying to score. You trying to score?
- No. - So wait, you're not here to score...
- I'm not here to score. I'm not... - You know who this is?
So who the fuck are you and why are you in my house?
I'm a tutor.
- I'm nobody. Okay? I'm a tutor. - Tutor?
I'm nobody. Okay? okay?
Yeah, I came to the wrong spot. It's...
You know what we gotta do...
I'm gonna go. I gotta go, okay?
Mmm.
Can I help you with anything?
No, I got it.
Sure you don't need a taste-tester?
Not yet.
Almost ready, though.
Okay.
How's it going, bud?
- Good. How you doing, man? - Good.
- What can I get you? - Just the usual, please.
Mm.
These are amazing.
Good. I'm glad you like them.
What's up with you?
It's nothing. It's just, uh...
someone kind of pranked me today
and I'm thinking maybe it was that guy Roger.
What do you mean, pranked you?
I mean, someone called,
pretending to be a parent to schedule a session
and, uh, when I get down there,
it's a sketchy drug house in the middle of the hood.
What?
That's insane.
You're sure it was him?
No, but I don't know who else it could have been.
Maybe one of the kids you're tutoring?
Definitely sounds like some shit a teenager would pull.
Yeah. You know, I kind of thought that, too.
You're probably right. Yeah.
Derrick.
App said it'd be an explorer.
It's in the shop.
Call 58?
Yeah, go ahead, man.
That's fucking fun.
How much did you put up your nose tonight?
I have no idea.
Yeah, I'm sure you don't.
I was networking. What the fuck do you want me to do?
Networking? That's so funny.
You kids have fun.
I need a drink.
Here we go.
Damn it. This fucking guy...
Hey.
What was that?
Derrick?
Are you okay?
Babe, what the fuck!
Psst.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
I'm good. Sorry.
Here you go, handsome man.
I know it's you, you son of a bitch.
Yeah?
Hey, Roger, it's Andy.
You know the guy...
Yeah, I know who you are, man.
What do you want?
Um, I guess I want to apologize.
I feel bad about blowing you off
and falling off the grid there.
I suck.
Yeah. It's not nice to ghost people.
I've just been busy.
It doesn't take long to return a text, though.
Yeah, fair enough.
You know, I just would like to apologize in person.
Can you meet up?
Hey, man.
How's it going?
Where's your dog?
I didn't bring him.
We meet here and you don't bring your dog?
No, I don't think to.
Thanks for coming anyway.
Sounded like you wanted to apologize?
Well, yeah.
Look, man, I've just been busy with work.
I didn't mean to blow you off.
Uh-huh.
Look, you just started calling and texting me a lot.
I just didn't know how to respond to all that.
So you just didn't respond at all?
Well, yeah, I mean...
Look, I didn't mean to be rude or trigger you or whatever.
Who said you triggered me?
What the... triggered me!
I didn't mean to insult you or upset you.
Well, I guess you get points for that.
How's work going on?
Are you still with Ryde?
What?
You're so full of shit.
You know, this weird thing happened to me the other day.
Some guy called, pretending to be a parent.
Had me drive all the way to this fucking sketchy drug house.
It was kind of fucked up.
Wow. Yeah indeed,
that does sound really fucked up.
Just cut the shit.
Can we talk about what's really going on?
What do you mean? What's going on?
I know it was you that fucking made that call.
It's been you that's sending me all these other weird messages.
Right.
- You're serious? - Yeah.
So this is why you fucking brought me out here
so that you could accuse me of some fucking bullshit, man?
Fuck you!
- Hey, stop! - Don't fucking touch me.
Look.
I don't know what's going on here with you.
Just stop, okay? Just leave me alone.
Just stop it.
I'm having too much fun.
Fuck you.
There you go. Come on.
Come on. Let it out.
Let it...
Yes, that's assault. Oh, my God.
- You see all these witnesses? - Shut the fuck up!
Just leave me the fuck alone.
I don't know why you're making me do this.
I didn't make you do anything.
Fuck, that was bad.
Hey, what's up?
Nothing.
Nothing. Um...
What are you up to?
I thought of something fun.
You down to hang?
Of course.
Wow, you can get in to any place, huh?
Well, not any place.
You have a show coming up here?
No, but I do stuff here all the time.
I'm pretty close with the guys who run it.
Cool.
I wanted to surprise you.
Uh oh.
Show me what you got, little drummer boy.
No, I'm good.
This is a cool place. So...
Come on, play something for me.
Anything.
I'm so rusty. I... It would just...
I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
Just have fun with it.
All right.
I just got lost there for a minute.
I didn't mean to spring that on you.
I just thought it would be fun.
I don't know.
No, it was fun.
Well, don't oversell it.
Sorry, uh, it just brought up some feelings,
and it was really sweet of you to do that. So...
Sometimes I should just let things be.
I'm always trying to make people happy,
get their approval, or whatever,
but I know it can be kind of annoying.
No, no. Not at all.
Look, I left a lot of shit back in Texas
and, you know, being up there,
just kind of brought it all back up.
But you know,
it was really nice of you to do that for me.
Thank you.
Really.
What happened to your hand?
Oh, um,
just, uh, banged it.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine,
I'm good.
Okay.
First, I need to ask you a couple of security questions.
Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
What city were you born in?
Dallas.
Great.
And what's your favorite movie?
Oh, well, there's so many.
Is it uh, Carrie?
No, I'm afraid not.
Would you prefer another question?
Yeah, if that's all right.
What's the name of the high school you attended?
Yeah, of course.
It's uh, Sunnyvale high.
Hey.
I got to get to this photoshoot in South Bay.
Uh, that sounds far.
It is.
Text me later.
Yeah, of course.
Maybe get a bigger bed, too.
On it.
- Bye. - Bye.
What?
You got sim swapped.
- I got what? - Sim swapped.
Somebody calls pretending to be you.
They say, "Hey, uh, my phone died.
"I bought a new phone."
We go, "Okay", we activate the new phone.
Deactivate that.
How can it be that easy?
I know, man. So easy.
Scary.
Yeah, um...
Well, what do we... I mean, how do I fix it?
Can I, can I get reactivated?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we switch very easy.
Yeah, we get you a new SIM card.
Another sim swap.
Double.
You need a case for that, I think. Huh?
Hi, uh, I'm calling to get some information
- on one of your drivers. - I see.
Would you like to file a complaint?
Yeah, I guess so.
Okay. Do you have the driver's ID number
or the license plate, sir?
Uh no, I do not.
But I have his full name
if that helps.
WOMAWe can try that.
It's Roger Perkins.
Okay, I'm gonna need you to spell that, sir.
Perkins. P-E-R-K-I-N-S.
Uh, wait. We don't have any drivers in the system under that name.
Are you sure that's the right spelling?
No, I'm not sure.
Okay, well, I could try to look back at your account history
if you want.
No, no, that's fine.
- Thank you. - Thank you for calling.
That's not even his fucking name.
What the fuck!
I might kill that guy, Juice.
Hey.
Oh!
I'm here for Jeremy's tutor session.
Stay here.
Okay.
- Hi. - What the fuck are you doing here?
Uh, it's 2:30.
I know what time it is, psycho.
Okay. I think I missed something.
You know, I could have had you brought up on charges,
and then you just show up here.
Mrs. Borrows? I'm Sandy.
- What exactly... - Get the fuck out of my property now...
I don't understand at all what you're talking about.
- Hi. - Hi, I'm Sandy.
Are you so warped that you actually think people want to see all of that?
Jesus, man, you work with children.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
This is just a misunderstanding.
- Misunderstanding? - Yeah. Misunderstanding.
What exactly do you think I misunderstood
about your email?
What email?
I am not Mrs. Robinson.
Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Since we... - Sure.
Mmm-hmm. Okay.
I guess I misunderstood you
jerking off your dick in this video.
Come on in, baby. Come inside.
- I don't know how you got... - Just don't darken
my doorstep ever again.
- Evelyn... - Get the fuck out of here.
That's not me.
Thanks for calling Quasar. This is Eric.
Hey, Eric. What's up, man? It's Andy. Look, man,
some shit is going on with my...
No, dude, I cannot talk to you.
What do you mean, you can't talk to me?
- It's the HR. Sorry, dude. - No, no, no, no.
Eric, wait, Eric!
WOMAHuman resources. Isabelle speaking.
Isabelle, Hi. This is Andrew Escobedo.
Hi, Mr. Escobedo.
Hi. Yes. Look, I was just explaining,
someone's hacked my phone and my work accounts,
and they sent emails that are inappropriate.
- And uh... - I understand.
Sorry to hear that.
It's been stressful, so we need to... so I don't know...
Well, Mr. Escabedo, I'm instructed to inform you
that you're on probation until further notice.
What... Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean, probation?
Hold on. What do you mean, probation?
I don't think you understand. Someone's hacking my phone.
They're stealing my identity.
Yes, Isabelle, it's very fucking unfortunate, okay?
We don't tolerate verbal abuse
- I'm terminating your call. - Okay, okay.
Hold on, hold on. I didn't mean. Isa...
Fuck!
Anyone had access to your place, repairs, anything like that?
No, I don't think so.
But whoever did get into my place,
uh, they have a video of me
and they showed it to my work contacts.
And that's gotten me fired.
So this is a big deal.
What are you doing in this video?
You have any idea who might want to do this to you?
I mean, yeah, I'm pretty sure it was this guy
I met a couple weeks ago.
Oh! Domestic dispute.
No! Look, he works for a Ryde share company.
He dropped me off at home,
and since, he started following me, okay?
He starts showing up and sending messages
And look, I had to tell him to leave me alone.
Mm. You probably antagonized him.
Apparently.
Do you have a name?
But, it's probably a fake name. I don't know if it's real.
You have an address?
No, I don't have an address.
Double or nothing.
Okay.
Solicitation.
Wrong.
That's thirty on you, Welsh.
What was it, then?
Jealous lover thing.
What the... No.
Are you listening to anything that I've just said?
Listen, you can file a complaint
and you'll have to hand over the camera you found.
And of course, we have to see the video.
We gotta see that video, buddy.
I mean, is that necessary?
If you want to file charges, we're gonna need the evidence.
Look, I just want...
Can you give me some space, please?
Uh, look, I just want this to stop.
I don't know. We need to figure out a way to make this stop.
Just try talking to the guy.
Talk to him?
This man is ruining my life
and you want me to talk to him?
You don't have a name and you don't have an address!
What do you want me to do? I can't help you.
Come on! Fucking...
No. What the fuck!
I got you, mother fucker.
Noveh Okeke.
Who the fuck is Noveh Okeke?
What a fucking nightmare, mother...
Juice.
Juice, wh... Juice.
Juice box.
Juice box!
Oh, there you are.
Where's my dog?
Oh, come on.
Don't worry about that.
You've got bigger fish to fry.
Why are you doing this? Please, man, Can we drop this?
Please.
Oh, Misty, play it again.
Hey, listen, man,
whatever I did to you, I'm sorry.
Watch this.
What the fuck?
How are you doing this?
Stop!
How are you doing this shit?
No, no, no!
No, no, no. No, no, no.
Come on. Don't listen to him, Sam.
Sam, don't fucking do it.
Fuck!
Whoo!
He's up.
What the fuck?
Look, just leave her alone.
No, please, or anything?
Rude.
Leave her alone, you crazy fuck!
That was good.
I didn't do anything, man. Why are you doing this?
Because it's fun.
It's actually a lot of fun.
Please, man...
Whatever this is, she didn't have anything to do with it.
What... You've already taken all of my money.
What else do you want?
This is what I want!
Can you feel it? The energy.
To him.
Please, no. Put the gun down.
Please, come on. Put the gun down.
Put the fucking gun down, please.
Listen to me,
put the fucking gun down, please!
Oh, wow.
You really do care about her, huh?
He really does care about you.
Now, let's see if she really cares about you.
Shut the fuck up. Don't you fucking move an inch.
I don't know what I did to set him off.
I'm gonna get us out of this, okay?
I'll figure something out.
Maybe if you distract him or something,
I can take him down.
I mean, maybe that's someone out there that can help us.
Help!
Somebody help!
- Somebody help! - Stop it!
I'm sorry, Sam.
I'm sorry.
I fucked it all up. I always fuck it up.
It's not your fault.
No, but I lied to you.
I lied to you the first time we met.
The whole story about...
my ex cheating on me, it's all bullshit.
If this is really over I want you to know who I really am.
I'm the fucking cheater.
It was me.
And now all our friends hate me.
All our friends hate me.
That's why I believe...
It's okay.
You just acted like the person you thought I wanted you to be.
Everybody does that.
I do it all the time.
Like... Like what?
We ready to do this?
Guess what? We have another last confession guy.
For realsies?
Tell me, tell me.
The whole sob story?
He was the one who cheated.
I knew it!
Something about that whole
"mutual friends gotta pick sides" thing stunk of shit.
You know him?
You're sweet, but you're kind of dim.
Do you want to get out of here?
- Yeah. - I'll call us a Ryde.
Oh, there he is.
- Sam? - Yep, that's me.
Don't beat yourself up.
The eyes see what the heart wants them to.
Nice to know you actually cared.
That's my favorite part.
So, what? We were nothing?
It was nothing to you?
You faked it?
People can make themselves believe anything.
I told you he was a liar.
We're all liars.
Is that why you're doing this? Because I lied to you once?
I mean, what? I failed a test?
No.
It wasn't that you were lying to me.
You've been lying to yourself.
Thinking that you even fucking matter.
Nobody's watching. Nobody cares.
They're all too distracted.
None of this is about you.
This is about me and what I want.
I chose you for one reason.
You're convenient.
Why am I convenient?
Because who's gonna miss you?
It'll be weeks before anyone even knows you're gone.
All right, let's get on with it.
Oh, so now you're in a rush?
You're the one dragging this out.
We getting jealous again?
No.
- Sorry. - You sure?
Can I do it this time?
You know better than to ask that.
I never get to.
Oh, no? What about the couple in Los Filez, huh?
You heard about that?
It was all over the fucking news.
I didn't leave any survivors.
I promise.
I swear to God.
Don't move.
Stop!
Damn.
I really thought that was your moment, man,
Get him up!
What the fuck are you doing?
- Hurry up. - He's heavy.
Hey, look at me.
Sam...
stop, please.
That's not my name.
Help!
Help me!
You still wanna finish him?
Help me!
Really?
Go ahead.
Help! Help!
I know you're mad at me.
I'm not mad.
Nothing to worry about with that couple.
Like I said, I cleaned up.
I don't get worried.
It won't happen again.
I'm telling you.
I kept my word. It won't ever happen again
I know.
It really is gonna be tougher without you.
Did you ever really care or feel anything for me?
You know the answer to that.
Then why did this work for so long, you and me?
Because you stayed in line.
I guess you lost your discipline.
I'm not allowed one mistake?
Not with me.
You're like, the first person I've had a real conversation with since I left.
I literally got here two days ago.
That's perfect.
What is? That I just moved here?
Yeah, because I just moved here, too.
Oh, yeah, totally.
Can I ask you a question?
Sure. Shoot.
What kind of music did you listen to when you were, like 12 or 13?
What?
I have a theory that you can tell a lot about a person
when you know what they listen to during their most painful,
awkward years.
Is that so?
- Okay, you go first. - Me?
Oh, no, that's way too personal.
Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull