1
00:00:09,668 --> 00:00:12,918
‪夢幻戰隊無人能敵

2
00:00:12,918 --> 00:00:15,959
‪掃除街頭犯罪

3
00:00:15,959 --> 00:00:18,043
‪我是金剛郎

4
00:00:18,043 --> 00:00:20,251
‪我有慢速再生能力

5
00:00:20,751 --> 00:00:22,001
‪我是點點人

6
00:00:22,001 --> 00:00:23,834
‪我有斑點

7
00:00:24,543 --> 00:00:26,793
‪彎彎教授為您效勞

8
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:27,709
‪好痛

9
00:00:28,501 --> 00:00:31,418
‪他們從外星人身上得到超能力...

10
00:00:31,418 --> 00:00:32,543
‪並沒有,停

11
00:00:32,543 --> 00:00:35,334
‪你們是嚴重缺乏維生素

12
00:00:35,334 --> 00:00:37,793
‪患有壞血病、佝僂病、貧血、腳氣病

13
00:00:37,793 --> 00:00:39,543
‪是那些病讓我們擁有超能力嗎?

14
00:00:39,543 --> 00:00:41,168
‪不是,你們沒有超能力

15
00:00:41,168 --> 00:00:44,459
‪不過嚴重缺乏B12有可能導致精神病

16
00:00:44,459 --> 00:00:46,793
‪這就說明了你們為什麼會幻聽

17
00:00:46,793 --> 00:00:50,334
‪別聽她的,她嫉妒你們的超能力

18
00:00:50,334 --> 00:00:52,043
‪別唱了,這問題很嚴重

19
00:00:52,043 --> 00:00:54,293
‪你們需要水果和蔬菜

20
00:00:54,293 --> 00:00:56,501
‪我不是指我前夫那種植物廢人喔

21
00:00:57,293 --> 00:00:58,959
{\an8}‪樂文醫生

22
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,626
‪夢幻人生,應有盡有

23
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:11,626
‪《罩不住總統》

24
00:01:16,251 --> 00:01:20,043
{\an8}‪考賀,再回蠟像館
‪把全部的小賈斯汀蠟像拿來

25
00:01:20,043 --> 00:01:21,376
{\an8}‪將軍,我們需要卡車

26
00:01:21,376 --> 00:01:22,293
{\an8}‪不可能

27
00:01:22,293 --> 00:01:24,043
{\an8}‪我只有一輛卡車有汽油

28
00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:25,459
{\an8}‪事關國家安全

29
00:01:25,459 --> 00:01:26,918
{\an8}‪我們沒水果了

30
00:01:26,918 --> 00:01:28,709
{\an8}‪我已經好久沒上廁所了

31
00:01:28,709 --> 00:01:30,543
{\an8}‪跟我被從夏令營送回家那次一樣

32
00:01:30,543 --> 00:01:33,334
{\an8}‪馬里蘭貝爾茨維爾有一座種子庫...

33
00:01:33,334 --> 00:01:34,751
{\an8}‪種子會長成植物

34
00:01:34,751 --> 00:01:37,334
{\an8}‪我寫過植物的讀書報告,博士

35
00:01:37,334 --> 00:01:38,876
‪總統說我們能借用卡車

36
00:01:38,876 --> 00:01:39,918
‪我在說謊

37
00:01:39,918 --> 00:01:41,709
‪說謊讓我皮膚好燙

38
00:01:41,709 --> 00:01:42,918
‪他沒那麼說

39
00:01:42,918 --> 00:01:44,793
‪開車去載種子?不准

40
00:01:44,793 --> 00:01:46,334
‪我們只要借用幾小時就好

41
00:01:46,334 --> 00:01:48,709
‪種子為什麼會放在保險庫裡?

42
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,793
‪誰會偷種子?

43
00:01:50,793 --> 00:01:52,459
‪鳥搶匪

44
00:01:52,459 --> 00:01:55,459
‪鳥版《瞞天過海》

45
00:01:55,459 --> 00:01:56,918
‪飛天大盜

46
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,168
‪我們一定要拍這部片

47
00:01:59,168 --> 00:02:02,209
‪他繼續演完了整部片,其實還不賴

48
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:05,168
‪總統需要用車,我不能告訴你們原因

49
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:07,251
‪他逼我發下毒誓

50
00:02:07,251 --> 00:02:08,501
‪我還不想死

51
00:02:09,001 --> 00:02:11,834
‪拜託,每個人都知道他在找國家寶藏

52
00:02:11,834 --> 00:02:13,084
‪學尼可拉斯凱吉的電影

53
00:02:13,668 --> 00:02:16,918
‪我單純是在這裡欣賞這座普通的壁爐

54
00:02:16,918 --> 00:02:19,918
‪戴著富蘭克林的眼鏡,因為好看

55
00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:21,751
‪絕對不是在找東西

56
00:02:21,751 --> 00:02:24,751
‪快啊,寶藏到底在哪?

57
00:02:25,834 --> 00:02:27,501
‪寶藏是我家小狗的名字

58
00:02:27,501 --> 00:02:28,668
‪寶藏,過來

59
00:02:29,168 --> 00:02:30,084
‪等等,什麼?

60
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:32,001
‪好了啦...

61
00:02:32,001 --> 00:02:33,751
‪要是他對我們糧食來源的關心

62
00:02:33,751 --> 00:02:36,126
‪比得上他對電影假寶藏的關心就好了

63
00:02:36,126 --> 00:02:38,126
‪那部電影根本充滿歷史謬誤

64
00:02:38,126 --> 00:02:40,043
‪還不如看《阿瑪迪斯》

65
00:02:40,043 --> 00:02:41,959
‪莫札特和薩里耶利感情誠摯

66
00:02:41,959 --> 00:02:44,626
‪我們應該要告訴他寶藏在貝爾茨維爾

67
00:02:44,626 --> 00:02:47,959
‪還是要設計他,讓他帶我們去那邊?

68
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,834
‪總統想要尋寶?

69
00:02:49,834 --> 00:02:51,626
‪我們就讓他去尋寶

70
00:02:54,084 --> 00:02:56,084
‪那個爛寶藏到底在哪?

71
00:02:56,751 --> 00:02:59,168
‪夠了喔,我一定要改掉你的名字

72
00:02:59,168 --> 00:03:00,668
‪有什麼名字適合狗?

73
00:03:00,668 --> 00:03:01,584
‪總統先生?

74
00:03:01,584 --> 00:03:03,959
‪不對,那是我的名字,別記起來

75
00:03:06,959 --> 00:03:08,459
‪我們需要和你談談

76
00:03:08,459 --> 00:03:10,626
‪事關國家寶藏

77
00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:14,126
‪我就知道是真的

78
00:03:14,126 --> 00:03:18,084
‪有個寶藏從古埃及時代就開始積累

79
00:03:18,084 --> 00:03:20,376
‪重達數千噸

80
00:03:20,376 --> 00:03:24,543
‪但在過去四千年來
‪都神不知鬼不覺地四處搬運

81
00:03:24,543 --> 00:03:26,959
‪那《國家寶藏二:古籍秘辛》呢?

82
00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:28,668
‪有總統秘辛嗎?

83
00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:29,584
‪沒有,那太蠢了

84
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,459
‪我才不要告訴你拉什莫爾山頭像

85
00:03:31,459 --> 00:03:33,751
‪是要用來保護寶藏的,我絕不說

86
00:03:33,751 --> 00:03:37,001
‪好啦,重點是第一個寶藏是真的

87
00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:38,751
‪賽門瞭如指掌

88
00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:41,834
‪因為他家是祖傳的寶藏守衛

89
00:03:41,834 --> 00:03:43,751
‪所以你才會那麼在乎歷史

90
00:03:44,793 --> 00:03:46,001
‪不過布朗在這裡幹嘛?

91
00:03:46,001 --> 00:03:48,293
‪她是賈斯汀巴薩的媽媽,還是...

92
00:03:48,293 --> 00:03:50,959
‪布朗博士是...我的跟班

93
00:03:50,959 --> 00:03:53,043
‪她有搞笑口頭禪嗎?

94
00:03:53,876 --> 00:03:56,251
‪賓果幫狗,薯塊給我

95
00:03:57,209 --> 00:03:58,126
‪好笑

96
00:03:58,126 --> 00:03:59,376
‪好,妳可以加入

97
00:03:59,376 --> 00:04:02,418
‪這是尋找寶藏的關鍵

98
00:04:02,418 --> 00:04:04,876
‪我父親的日記

99
00:04:04,876 --> 00:04:07,584
‪他的什麼?你爸是青少女嗎?

100
00:04:07,584 --> 00:04:11,459
‪“親愛的日記,我暗戀我兒子的媽

101
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:15,209
‪今天工作很有趣
‪我們學習到商業的事”

102
00:04:18,168 --> 00:04:21,709
{\an8}‪總之,他的日記裡充滿線索

103
00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:25,001
‪我敢說上面記載
‪第一條線索就在《獨立宣言》上

104
00:04:25,001 --> 00:04:25,918
‪-什麼?
‪-太神了

105
00:04:25,918 --> 00:04:27,043
‪原來如此

106
00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:31,209
‪“民人們我”是“我們人民”的倒裝

107
00:04:32,709 --> 00:04:34,584
‪-就是宣言裡...
‪-《獨立宣言》

108
00:04:34,584 --> 00:04:36,459
‪出發吧,我們開卡車一號

109
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:39,084
‪錯邊了,跟我走

110
00:04:39,584 --> 00:04:41,418
‪我告訴約翰波頓

111
00:04:41,418 --> 00:04:43,334
‪“你最好要留個鬍鬚

112
00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:46,793
‪因為那是我所看過最醜的唇上刺青”

113
00:04:46,793 --> 00:04:49,584
‪你知道總統外出了
‪沒人知道他去哪嗎?

114
00:04:49,584 --> 00:04:52,918
‪他說他要去總統通常會去的地方

115
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,959
‪“拜託,陶德,你又不是我媽”

116
00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:57,251
‪那我剛才是在跟誰說話?

117
00:04:57,751 --> 00:04:58,751
‪布勒!

118
00:04:58,751 --> 00:05:00,084
‪踏馬的爛透了

119
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,168
‪我的手機以前會自動那樣選字

120
00:05:03,168 --> 00:05:05,668
‪馬帝本來會是我的白宮巡禮的重頭戲

121
00:05:05,668 --> 00:05:07,168
‪陶德出國巡守過

122
00:05:07,168 --> 00:05:09,001
‪赫爾曼德省

123
00:05:09,001 --> 00:05:11,376
‪我邀請一群青少年來白宮參訪

124
00:05:11,376 --> 00:05:12,793
‪我的新志業是青少年

125
00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:14,626
‪那是我花20秒想到的

126
00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:16,834
‪我不懂妳為何要邀請青少年過來

127
00:05:16,834 --> 00:05:19,668
‪他們唯一的功能是買香菸
‪但不能買酒

128
00:05:19,668 --> 00:05:21,251
‪適合參戰,但不適合投票

129
00:05:21,251 --> 00:05:23,918
‪在爆炸時代前
‪當小朋友就已經夠辛苦了

130
00:05:23,918 --> 00:05:26,001
‪我只希望他們能有好榜樣

131
00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:28,918
‪才不會變得和絲汀克一樣

132
00:05:28,918 --> 00:05:30,251
‪妳是在說我嗎?

133
00:05:30,251 --> 00:05:32,668
{\an8}‪不是,克絲汀,她是在說我

134
00:05:32,668 --> 00:05:34,418
{\an8}‪有種就當著我的面說啊,賤人

135
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:38,001
‪我恨這份工作
‪我恨我爸幫我找這份工作

136
00:05:38,001 --> 00:05:39,793
‪我今天要早退

137
00:05:39,793 --> 00:05:41,084
‪煩耶

138
00:05:41,084 --> 00:05:44,293
‪不是,妹妹
‪我是在說另一個絲汀克

139
00:05:45,501 --> 00:05:47,626
‪上帝護佑我

140
00:05:47,626 --> 00:05:49,459
‪願我萬壽無疆

141
00:05:49,459 --> 00:05:53,251
‪天佑我

142
00:05:53,251 --> 00:05:55,668
‪趙先生,是什麼風把你吹來的?

143
00:05:55,668 --> 00:05:57,543
‪陛下,我們沒新聞好報

144
00:05:57,543 --> 00:06:00,834
‪罕見動物朋友的題材也用完了

145
00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:03,793
‪只剩下罕見動物亦敵亦友了

146
00:06:04,293 --> 00:06:07,876
‪我以前去英國讀過寄宿學校

147
00:06:07,876 --> 00:06:10,043
‪聽聽我是怎麼念“鋁”的

148
00:06:10,043 --> 00:06:11,459
‪超搞笑

149
00:06:11,459 --> 00:06:15,001
‪在英國,報紙和王家的關係就像這樣

150
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,459
‪就像...

151
00:06:17,459 --> 00:06:19,293
‪我的手指太粗,沒辦法交錯

152
00:06:19,293 --> 00:06:21,376
‪這是富有的象徵
‪所以是大家夢寐以求的

153
00:06:21,376 --> 00:06:23,334
‪你能提供什麼火辣八卦嗎?

154
00:06:23,334 --> 00:06:26,168
‪知道總統今早為何開車火速離開嗎?

155
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:28,501
‪我和英國老友在一起時口音就會回來

156
00:06:28,501 --> 00:06:30,334
‪總統不在?

157
00:06:30,334 --> 00:06:31,626
‪他可能是在搞外遇

158
00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:33,126
‪這條頭條如何?

159
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,168
‪“大總統找人捅”

160
00:06:35,168 --> 00:06:37,084
‪“找人捅”有別的意思嗎?

161
00:06:37,084 --> 00:06:40,459
‪什麼?不會吧?白宮鬧醜聞?

162
00:06:40,459 --> 00:06:41,751
‪荒唐無稽

163
00:06:41,751 --> 00:06:44,209
‪就是荒謬的成語版

164
00:06:44,209 --> 00:06:46,793
‪我想不出我們今天要沿街喊什麼

165
00:06:46,793 --> 00:06:48,293
‪喊食物短缺議題如何?

166
00:06:48,293 --> 00:06:49,543
‪那有什麼吸引力?

167
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:50,543
‪沒有

168
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:53,543
‪我瘦了幾公斤,不過沒什麼

169
00:07:03,459 --> 00:07:05,834
‪其他總統只會混吃等死

170
00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:08,751
‪羅斯福連給人做塑像時都懶得站起來

171
00:07:08,751 --> 00:07:09,876
‪他坐輪椅耶

172
00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:11,418
‪但我會身體力行

173
00:07:11,418 --> 00:07:14,626
‪等我滿載而歸,大家一定會興奮不已

174
00:07:14,626 --> 00:07:16,126
‪尤其是露西

175
00:07:16,126 --> 00:07:19,334
‪我告訴妳,女人想要三種東西

176
00:07:19,334 --> 00:07:20,834
‪隱藏菜單甜甜圈

177
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:22,668
‪被注意到髮型變了

178
00:07:22,668 --> 00:07:23,709
‪還有珠寶

179
00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:25,543
‪天啊,別再撩我了

180
00:07:26,251 --> 00:07:27,876
‪完全看不出線索

181
00:07:27,876 --> 00:07:30,043
‪我都已經戴著最現代的眼鏡了

182
00:07:30,043 --> 00:07:31,251
‪看來只好放棄

183
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:33,793
‪問題可能正出在你的眼鏡上

184
00:07:36,376 --> 00:07:38,918
‪等等,我看到其中一個名字在發光

185
00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:41,418
‪天啊,一定是第一道曙光

186
00:07:41,418 --> 00:07:42,918
‪跟那首歌的歌詞一樣

187
00:07:42,918 --> 00:07:45,418
‪不過史蒂芬霍普金斯是誰?

188
00:07:46,209 --> 00:07:47,834
‪霍普金斯是羅德島人

189
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,334
‪霍普金斯

190
00:07:49,334 --> 00:07:50,959
‪他會跳,兔子也會跳

191
00:07:50,959 --> 00:07:53,001
‪金斯家有親戚

192
00:07:53,001 --> 00:07:54,293
‪兔子的親戚

193
00:07:54,293 --> 00:07:55,293
‪袋鼠

194
00:07:55,293 --> 00:07:56,584
‪寶藏在澳洲

195
00:07:57,168 --> 00:08:00,668
‪澳洲剛好跟哪個地方遙遙相望?

196
00:08:00,668 --> 00:08:01,834
‪羅德島

197
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:03,959
‪這個島上面有羅德路

198
00:08:03,959 --> 00:08:06,834
‪而且也有島,就跟澳洲一樣

199
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:10,584
‪華盛頓特區有一條路
‪就叫做羅德島大道

200
00:08:10,584 --> 00:08:11,751
‪做得好,總統

201
00:08:11,751 --> 00:08:13,834
‪我根本就是印第安那瓊斯

202
00:08:13,834 --> 00:08:15,959
‪除了蛇會怕我以外

203
00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:19,459
‪而且我爸被綁架時
‪我們全家人只袖手旁觀

204
00:08:22,834 --> 00:08:24,668
‪總統不在

205
00:08:24,668 --> 00:08:26,543
‪也就是說由我當家做主

206
00:08:28,334 --> 00:08:31,751
‪也就是說由我當家做主

207
00:08:31,751 --> 00:08:33,709
‪我萬歲

208
00:08:33,709 --> 00:08:35,209
‪這首歌有歌詞了

209
00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:38,834
‪而且是英文的
‪因為西班牙文現在是違法的

210
00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:41,251
‪我停不下來

211
00:08:41,251 --> 00:08:42,584
‪總統是夢想

212
00:08:42,584 --> 00:08:44,918
‪是我一直以來的夢想

213
00:08:47,459 --> 00:08:48,459
‪現在我很乾淨

214
00:08:48,459 --> 00:08:50,751
‪是我一直以來保持的乾淨

215
00:08:53,626 --> 00:08:56,876
‪這是我家,我必須加以捍衛

216
00:08:58,251 --> 00:08:59,126
‪酷喔

217
00:09:10,418 --> 00:09:13,251
‪我一直都夢想著坐上這個位子

218
00:09:13,251 --> 00:09:15,418
‪從我穿短褲時就開始夢想了

219
00:09:15,418 --> 00:09:16,959
‪是真的很短的短褲

220
00:09:16,959 --> 00:09:17,959
‪夢想

221
00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:20,209
‪陶德有夢想?

222
00:09:21,168 --> 00:09:22,001
‪(待售)

223
00:09:24,084 --> 00:09:25,459
‪(軍隊招募中)

224
00:09:25,459 --> 00:09:27,043
‪不過《聖經》說

225
00:09:27,043 --> 00:09:30,084
‪小男生的細腿就是他的王冠與榮耀

226
00:09:30,084 --> 00:09:31,876
‪你有在聽嗎?

227
00:09:31,876 --> 00:09:32,834
‪有

228
00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:33,751
‪夢想

229
00:09:37,584 --> 00:09:40,168
‪拜託,給點尊重吧

230
00:09:40,168 --> 00:09:42,043
‪這張桌子以前是一艘船耶

231
00:09:46,001 --> 00:09:48,126
‪搞什麼鬼?

232
00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:51,251
‪我的乳頭都要發紫了

233
00:09:51,251 --> 00:09:53,584
‪這是總統秘辛

234
00:09:54,876 --> 00:09:56,126
‪大家好啊

235
00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:58,709
‪宮宮的第一夫人來囉

236
00:09:58,709 --> 00:09:59,959
‪宮宮是白宮的意思

237
00:09:59,959 --> 00:10:01,668
‪不是太監公公

238
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:04,459
‪這裡是總統家,雖然他現在不在家

239
00:10:04,459 --> 00:10:05,376
‪什麼?

240
00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:06,876
‪你們不能這樣對我們

241
00:10:06,876 --> 00:10:08,251
‪我們是爆炸世代

242
00:10:08,251 --> 00:10:10,251
‪因為某些原因而有遺棄情結

243
00:10:10,251 --> 00:10:14,043
‪就算沒有他,這趟參訪還是會很咩噗

244
00:10:14,043 --> 00:10:15,501
‪咩噗不是這樣用的

245
00:10:15,501 --> 00:10:16,584
‪會有樓梯嗎?

246
00:10:16,584 --> 00:10:18,584
‪我缺乏鈣質,骨頭很痛

247
00:10:20,001 --> 00:10:21,584
‪有倫在嗎?

248
00:10:21,584 --> 00:10:23,251
‪我們英國人來訪都是這樣打招呼

249
00:10:23,251 --> 00:10:26,334
‪傑瑞米,現在不太湊巧
‪我正在帶團參觀...

250
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,084
‪她帶得超爛

251
00:10:28,084 --> 00:10:29,543
‪那我或許能幫得上忙

252
00:10:29,543 --> 00:10:32,709
‪畢竟你們知道
‪乖乖參訪會有什麼獎勵嗎?

253
00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:34,084
‪-封爵
‪-什麼?

254
00:10:37,459 --> 00:10:41,293
‪趣味冷知識,白宮以前是有牆壁的

255
00:10:41,293 --> 00:10:45,168
‪不過這也不是白宮第一次遭到破壞

256
00:10:45,168 --> 00:10:47,168
‪白宮在1814年被燒毀過

257
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:50,001
‪不好意思,是英國幹的

258
00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:53,126
‪不過現在我們兩國交好

259
00:10:53,126 --> 00:10:55,626
‪有時候非常友好

260
00:10:55,626 --> 00:10:57,418
‪你幹嘛用那種口氣說“友好”?

261
00:10:57,418 --> 00:11:00,293
‪因為他們絕對有一腿

262
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,084
‪什麼?不是,我們是朋友

263
00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:03,459
‪是真的

264
00:11:03,459 --> 00:11:06,084
‪友好怎麼會有性意味?

265
00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:12,918
‪總之,下一站是白宮游泳池

266
00:11:12,918 --> 00:11:15,418
‪趣味冷知識,那裡現在全都是蜥蜴

267
00:11:15,418 --> 00:11:16,751
‪(羅德島大道)

268
00:11:16,751 --> 00:11:17,959
‪要走哪邊?

269
00:11:17,959 --> 00:11:19,543
‪還是這是詭計?

270
00:11:19,543 --> 00:11:21,584
‪或許要往北走

271
00:11:21,584 --> 00:11:23,501
‪你覺得北邊在上面嗎?

272
00:11:24,168 --> 00:11:26,293
‪對啊,妳自己看地圖啊,博士

273
00:11:26,293 --> 00:11:28,709
‪我在麥索尼克墓園有所發現

274
00:11:28,709 --> 00:11:30,251
‪索尼克墓園,對

275
00:11:30,834 --> 00:11:33,001
‪那些墓碑好像排成了一個形狀

276
00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:36,709
‪我們得到高處
‪這種東西一定要爬到高處看

277
00:11:36,709 --> 00:11:38,501
‪從這邊應該就看得到了

278
00:11:38,501 --> 00:11:41,418
‪跟班的任務是負責思考還是...

279
00:11:41,418 --> 00:11:43,543
‪賓果幫狗,辣味肉球

280
00:11:43,543 --> 00:11:47,876
‪我喜歡,不過妳那些笑話
‪可能開始有點老梗了

281
00:11:47,876 --> 00:11:49,709
‪好了,我們要怎麼往北走?

282
00:11:50,959 --> 00:11:52,168
‪為什麼是我墊底?

283
00:11:52,168 --> 00:11:55,043
‪-這是以重要度排序
‪-可以快點看形狀嗎?

284
00:11:55,043 --> 00:11:57,876
‪看來是個火柴人,不過頭被砍掉了

285
00:11:57,876 --> 00:11:59,459
‪而且還少了腿,也沒穿鞋

286
00:11:59,459 --> 00:12:01,501
‪你形容的好像是個箭頭,總統

287
00:12:02,959 --> 00:12:04,168
{\an8}‪(線索二)

288
00:12:04,168 --> 00:12:05,626
{\an8}‪沒錯

289
00:12:05,626 --> 00:12:06,751
‪上車

290
00:12:08,459 --> 00:12:09,668
‪拜託喔

291
00:12:10,668 --> 00:12:12,459
‪那個屋頂上有飛盤

292
00:12:12,459 --> 00:12:13,543
‪布朗,跳起來

293
00:12:13,543 --> 00:12:14,918
{\an8}‪全都寫在這裡

294
00:12:14,918 --> 00:12:19,126
{\an8}‪每一場黑箱交易、五次刺殺甘迺迪

295
00:12:19,126 --> 00:12:21,001
{\an8}‪外星人是真的

296
00:12:21,501 --> 00:12:22,626
{\an8}‪這我早就知道了

297
00:12:22,626 --> 00:12:24,209
{\an8}‪對我來說,你才是外星人

298
00:12:25,918 --> 00:12:29,959
‪1988年,我第一次退讓選總統機會

299
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,209
‪我們需要有經驗的人

300
00:12:33,209 --> 00:12:34,668
‪能夠把事情辦好的人

301
00:12:34,668 --> 00:12:36,751
‪例如喬治布希就是

302
00:12:36,751 --> 00:12:38,834
‪我明白,我會耐心等候

303
00:12:39,876 --> 00:12:41,084
‪(2000年大選)

304
00:12:43,626 --> 00:12:46,376
‪我們需要沒經驗的人

305
00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:48,668
‪什麼都辦不好的人

306
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,501
‪例如小布希就是

307
00:12:50,501 --> 00:12:53,084
‪我明白,我會耐心等候

308
00:12:53,876 --> 00:12:55,709
‪拜託,他何時才能聽懂暗示啊?

309
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:57,584
‪(2016年大選)

310
00:13:01,126 --> 00:13:02,459
‪我們需要某個人

311
00:13:02,959 --> 00:13:04,876
‪例如傑布布希就是

312
00:13:05,376 --> 00:13:08,251
‪我明白,我會耐心等候

313
00:13:10,043 --> 00:13:12,376
‪那個鄉巴佬不可能贏得全國大選

314
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:13,751
‪誰會想和他喝啤酒啊?

315
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,251
‪人們就是不喜歡拉瑪

316
00:13:16,251 --> 00:13:17,876
‪這也怪不了他們

317
00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:19,251
‪他令人毛骨悚然

318
00:13:19,251 --> 00:13:20,876
‪真是個廢物

319
00:13:24,668 --> 00:13:26,918
‪我絕對不會和他喝啤酒

320
00:13:29,001 --> 00:13:31,918
{\an8}‪我在人類情緒圖卡上看過那個表情

321
00:13:31,918 --> 00:13:35,709
‪你剛得知你尊敬的眾人
‪其實暗地裡鄙視你

322
00:13:36,376 --> 00:13:38,293
{\an8}‪現在你在生某個綠色物體的氣

323
00:13:38,293 --> 00:13:41,876
{\an8}‪現在你為圖卡的精確度感到訝異

324
00:13:43,209 --> 00:13:44,876
‪(喬治華盛頓的井中有杯)

325
00:13:44,876 --> 00:13:47,209
‪我不懂這為什麼是跟班的任務

326
00:13:47,209 --> 00:13:49,918
‪爬井通常都是主角的工作

327
00:13:49,918 --> 00:13:51,751
‪我是很想爬,但萬一有蛇怎麼辦?

328
00:13:51,751 --> 00:13:53,043
‪我可能會嚇到牠們

329
00:13:53,043 --> 00:13:55,418
‪下面確實有蛇,非常聰明的判斷

330
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:58,501
‪法菈,你在喬治華盛頓井中
‪有發現什麼東西?

331
00:13:58,501 --> 00:14:00,668
‪只有這個舊酒杯

332
00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:02,668
‪革命時代的啤酒杯?

333
00:14:02,668 --> 00:14:04,293
‪這會是誰的呢?

334
00:14:04,293 --> 00:14:06,293
‪有誰是愛國釀酒師嗎?

335
00:14:06,293 --> 00:14:08,293
‪山姆亞當!瓶上有寫

336
00:14:08,293 --> 00:14:11,209
‪但為什麼要藏在這個右轉處?

337
00:14:11,209 --> 00:14:13,626
‪雖然亞當確實是右撇子

338
00:14:13,626 --> 00:14:14,751
‪並不是

339
00:14:14,751 --> 00:14:16,876
‪他在瓶子上是用左手拿啤酒

340
00:14:16,876 --> 00:14:18,001
‪那是...

341
00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:20,168
‪這個嘛...

342
00:14:20,168 --> 00:14:22,834
‪賽門的意思應該是

343
00:14:22,834 --> 00:14:25,293
‪你在瓶子上沒看到的是

344
00:14:25,293 --> 00:14:28,418
‪他的右手也拿著啤酒,所以...

345
00:14:28,418 --> 00:14:30,293
‪他左右開弓!

346
00:14:30,293 --> 00:14:32,876
‪因為他是波士頓人,而且很帥

347
00:14:33,626 --> 00:14:35,668
‪所以他是右撇子

348
00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:38,001
‪我們要右轉了,跟班

349
00:14:38,001 --> 00:14:39,918
‪又是個好主意,老大

350
00:14:39,918 --> 00:14:42,126
‪不太好笑,不過精神可嘉

351
00:14:44,209 --> 00:14:46,126
‪這還真順利

352
00:14:46,126 --> 00:14:48,793
‪老實說,我本來還不太確定
‪是不是要讓你們一起來

353
00:14:48,793 --> 00:14:50,709
‪因為我是一隻孤浪

354
00:14:50,709 --> 00:14:51,668
‪你是說“浪”嗎?

355
00:14:51,668 --> 00:14:54,668
‪對啊,就跟浪浪一樣
‪牠的朋友去哪了?

356
00:14:55,209 --> 00:14:57,584
‪我就是那樣,因為我不喜歡...

357
00:14:57,584 --> 00:15:00,084
‪那叫什麼?一堆人合作的那種

358
00:15:00,084 --> 00:15:01,668
‪我很確定裡面有個“人”字

359
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:02,584
‪三人組?

360
00:15:02,584 --> 00:15:05,418
‪你在想的詞應該是“團隊”

361
00:15:05,418 --> 00:15:06,668
‪你不是打過棒球嗎?

362
00:15:06,668 --> 00:15:08,876
‪對啊,隊友爛透了

363
00:15:08,876 --> 00:15:11,209
‪一堆頂級水屁

364
00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:13,751
‪有一場比賽,我們只差一支安打

365
00:15:13,751 --> 00:15:16,168
‪就能贏得捕龍蝦聯盟世界大賽

366
00:15:16,168 --> 00:15:18,001
‪那場比賽是由聖誕樹店贊助

367
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,376
‪對手是討厭的納舒厄臭鮑隊

368
00:15:20,376 --> 00:15:21,293
‪什麼隊?

369
00:15:21,293 --> 00:15:24,251
‪教練打暗號要我短打

370
00:15:24,251 --> 00:15:25,709
‪我明明都抓到投手的球路了

371
00:15:25,709 --> 00:15:27,709
‪我知道球什麼時候要來

372
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:30,709
‪麥蒂麥蒂根在觀眾席看著
‪我才不要短打

373
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:32,293
‪我剛拿到DNA檢驗結果

374
00:15:32,293 --> 00:15:34,626
‪我們沒親屬關係,所以可以安心上

375
00:15:34,626 --> 00:15:37,501
‪短打啊,小雜種
‪我就和你嘴對嘴接吻

376
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:38,918
‪那違反妓女規則喔

377
00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:54,251
‪比賽結束!海豬隊輸了

378
00:15:54,251 --> 00:15:56,084
‪噓!

379
00:15:56,084 --> 00:15:57,251
‪不要,放我下來

380
00:15:57,251 --> 00:15:59,918
‪我不需要你們幫忙,我可以自己來

381
00:16:01,084 --> 00:16:03,459
‪要是他們願意聽我的,我們就能贏球

382
00:16:03,459 --> 00:16:06,168
‪然後就能擔任遊樂園榮譽嘉賓

383
00:16:06,168 --> 00:16:08,168
‪最後死在那場雲霄飛車爆炸中

384
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,126
‪我也能和麥蒂麥蒂根回家

385
00:16:10,126 --> 00:16:12,626
‪而不是撞見她和臭鮑隊的人在一起

386
00:16:12,626 --> 00:16:14,418
‪對,重點就在這裡

387
00:16:14,418 --> 00:16:16,168
‪其他人都是爛隊友

388
00:16:16,168 --> 00:16:18,001
‪但我們三人卻行得通,為什麼?

389
00:16:18,001 --> 00:16:20,793
‪因為終於輪到馬帝作主了

390
00:16:21,376 --> 00:16:24,168
‪總統,前面的橋好像塌了

391
00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:26,084
‪團隊決定!我們飛車過去!

392
00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:27,793
‪不要!

393
00:16:27,793 --> 00:16:28,918
‪慘了!

394
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:35,501
‪這裡是日光室

395
00:16:35,501 --> 00:16:38,876
‪就是日光浴室的簡稱

396
00:16:38,876 --> 00:16:41,418
‪拉瑪先生,你還記得傑瑞米王吧

397
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,959
‪他代替了馬帝的位置

398
00:16:42,959 --> 00:16:44,334
‪參訪的時候暫代而已

399
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:45,876
‪我只是來協助參訪的

400
00:16:45,876 --> 00:16:49,334
‪其他的一概不做

401
00:16:49,334 --> 00:16:51,584
‪你們一定就是我們的小貴客了

402
00:16:51,584 --> 00:16:54,334
‪你們年輕人是我們最大的自然資源

403
00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:56,376
‪因為你們有一天會變成石油

404
00:16:56,376 --> 00:16:58,709
‪拉瑪先生是副總統

405
00:16:58,709 --> 00:17:01,251
‪可是你比其他人老很多
‪你為什麼不是總統?

406
00:17:01,251 --> 00:17:02,418
‪我確實是可以當總統

407
00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:04,543
‪畢竟我很討人喜歡

408
00:17:04,543 --> 00:17:07,043
‪你們都覺得我像總統吧?

409
00:17:07,043 --> 00:17:08,918
‪比較像總統的爸

410
00:17:08,918 --> 00:17:10,001
‪他一副老爸德性

411
00:17:10,001 --> 00:17:11,876
‪不對,老爸很遜

412
00:17:11,876 --> 00:17:13,001
‪父母欠噓

413
00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:16,001
‪年輕人...我是說,兄弟們,我很酷

414
00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:17,584
‪大家都想和我一起喝啤酒

415
00:17:18,251 --> 00:17:19,834
‪你們喜歡電視嗎?

416
00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:23,209
‪我曾上過公視唯一的實境節目喔

417
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:28,084
{\an8}‪我是卡萊拉瑪
‪我不知道這部分是在幹嘛

418
00:17:28,668 --> 00:17:30,959
‪我是《戀愛島》第38季優勝者

419
00:17:30,959 --> 00:17:33,668
‪因為其他人在暴雷雨時還泡在游泳池

420
00:17:33,668 --> 00:17:36,584
‪你們想看點詭怪的東西嗎?

421
00:17:36,584 --> 00:17:39,709
‪他們絕對不會讓你們看喔

422
00:17:45,876 --> 00:17:46,876
‪終於撐過來了

423
00:17:48,126 --> 00:17:49,459
‪一定是這裡

424
00:17:49,459 --> 00:17:52,709
‪“一路走到底,你會快樂似柑橘

425
00:17:52,709 --> 00:17:54,959
‪因為這棟大樓是藏寶地”

426
00:17:54,959 --> 00:17:56,626
‪那些共濟會成員

427
00:17:56,626 --> 00:17:59,084
‪用“柑橘”押韻還真是自討苦吃

428
00:17:59,084 --> 00:18:01,668
‪可能是因為他們時間急迫
‪而且還要用筆書寫

429
00:18:01,668 --> 00:18:03,834
‪別再糾結於爛韻腳了

430
00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:05,418
‪畢竟還是讓我們找到了寶藏

431
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,459
‪大家都表現得很好

432
00:18:06,459 --> 00:18:07,959
‪因為有我馬帝英明帶領

433
00:18:07,959 --> 00:18:10,501
‪你的領導是真正的寶藏,老大

434
00:18:10,501 --> 00:18:13,709
‪當跟班和拍馬屁只有一線之隔,布朗

435
00:18:13,709 --> 00:18:16,043
‪妳得自問:“巴薩會怎麼做?”

436
00:18:18,043 --> 00:18:18,918
‪貝爾茨維爾?

437
00:18:18,918 --> 00:18:20,876
‪這個詞我是在哪聽過?

438
00:18:23,209 --> 00:18:25,126
‪各位鳥士,這是我們的目標

439
00:18:25,793 --> 00:18:27,001
‪貝爾茨維爾種子庫

440
00:18:28,709 --> 00:18:30,918
‪布朗的種子?她...

441
00:18:31,834 --> 00:18:33,876
‪那兩個頂級水屁

442
00:18:33,876 --> 00:18:37,001
‪你們小朋友喜歡黏稠噁心的東西吧?

443
00:18:37,001 --> 00:18:41,168
‪儘管大開眼界吧

444
00:18:42,209 --> 00:18:43,959
‪現在覺得我像總統了嗎?

445
00:18:44,543 --> 00:18:45,376
‪那是外星人

446
00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:48,918
‪我每天晚上在惡夢裡都會看到

447
00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:50,584
‪可是他不奇怪嗎?

448
00:18:50,584 --> 00:18:54,168
‪他有太多隻手、尖屁股

449
00:18:54,168 --> 00:18:57,834
‪腿還跟鬧鬼老樹一樣盤根錯節

450
00:18:57,834 --> 00:18:59,376
‪喂,我長得才不怪

451
00:18:59,376 --> 00:19:00,668
‪我年輕的時候

452
00:19:00,668 --> 00:19:03,251
‪賣場還有星探問我要不要當模特兒

453
00:19:03,251 --> 00:19:04,626
‪對,不要羞辱他的身材

454
00:19:04,626 --> 00:19:08,501
‪人們霸凌別人
‪都是因為自己缺乏安全感

455
00:19:08,501 --> 00:19:10,751
‪我也很討人喜歡!

456
00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:15,084
‪我告訴你們,我的辦公室裡
‪有一張我和派翠莎希頓的合照

457
00:19:15,959 --> 00:19:17,001
‪誰?

458
00:19:17,001 --> 00:19:18,584
‪露西,我必須自白

459
00:19:18,584 --> 00:19:20,793
‪我過來的時候,其實知道馬帝不在

460
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,584
‪我是希望能找妳談談

461
00:19:22,584 --> 00:19:24,959
‪好啊,你想談什麼?

462
00:19:24,959 --> 00:19:27,168
‪談話?那正是我們和嬰兒的不同之處

463
00:19:27,168 --> 00:19:28,876
‪我想談談我們的事

464
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,668
‪妳無法否認我們在一起很相稱

465
00:19:30,668 --> 00:19:32,084
‪就像琴酒和早餐一樣

466
00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:37,168
‪傑瑞米,你又高又帥,對動物又好

467
00:19:37,168 --> 00:19:38,543
‪牠們很有可能會變王子

468
00:19:39,668 --> 00:19:41,376
‪但我不能跟你在一起

469
00:19:41,376 --> 00:19:42,459
‪是因為馬帝嗎?

470
00:19:42,459 --> 00:19:45,668
‪他連來陪妳的問題少年都不願意耶

471
00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:47,793
‪看看他們的問題有多大

472
00:19:47,793 --> 00:19:49,168
‪不是因為馬帝

473
00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:52,376
‪如果我告訴你一件事
‪你可以保證不說出去嗎?

474
00:19:52,376 --> 00:19:53,293
‪當然

475
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,543
‪多年來,我已經學會沉默是金

476
00:19:55,543 --> 00:19:57,459
‪因為夜店的音樂太大聲

477
00:19:57,459 --> 00:20:01,001
‪我和馬帝其實沒有在一起

478
00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,793
‪他只是想要有個漂亮的第一夫人

479
00:20:02,793 --> 00:20:05,751
‪我想當第一夫人,才能推動世界進步

480
00:20:05,751 --> 00:20:07,668
‪可是妳當王后也能推動啊

481
00:20:07,668 --> 00:20:10,126
‪想想那些需要洗禮的船

482
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,376
‪它們現在全都要下地獄了

483
00:20:12,376 --> 00:20:14,751
‪但我不能這樣對美國

484
00:20:14,751 --> 00:20:18,459
‪我國目前應該承受不了被拋棄的痛

485
00:20:24,543 --> 00:20:26,334
‪這給妳拿來想念我

486
00:20:27,251 --> 00:20:30,251
‪都是拜嚴重缺乏維生素D之賜

487
00:20:34,876 --> 00:20:35,751
‪有蟲在嗎?

488
00:20:35,751 --> 00:20:38,793
‪我們卡蒂B人
‪都是這樣問“有倫在嗎?”

489
00:20:38,793 --> 00:20:42,959
‪艾克斯崔,身為紳士
‪我大概欠你一個道歉

490
00:20:42,959 --> 00:20:47,251
‪惡意抨擊你的身體不像人類上帝

491
00:20:47,251 --> 00:20:48,793
‪畢竟你今天過得很不順嘛

492
00:20:48,793 --> 00:20:50,418
‪如果你跟我一樣

493
00:20:50,418 --> 00:20:54,001
‪你大概會想織一個繭
‪往裡面灌尿,把自己泡進去

494
00:20:54,001 --> 00:20:57,709
‪真不敢相信我視為朋友的同僚

495
00:20:57,709 --> 00:21:00,418
‪竟然把我視為超市貝果...

496
00:21:00,418 --> 00:21:02,626
‪我是說,莎莎燉菜

497
00:21:03,709 --> 00:21:05,209
‪我可以理解

498
00:21:05,209 --> 00:21:07,043
‪等我家鄉的卡蒂B同胞

499
00:21:07,043 --> 00:21:10,834
‪發現我連石器猿人星球都無法征服

500
00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:14,334
‪我麻煩就大了

501
00:21:14,834 --> 00:21:18,626
‪可能會把我關進狗籠

502
00:21:18,626 --> 00:21:20,126
‪其實裡面關的不是狗

503
00:21:20,126 --> 00:21:22,376
‪比較像是...該怎麼說?

504
00:21:22,376 --> 00:21:24,209
‪雷射鱷魚

505
00:21:24,209 --> 00:21:25,501
‪你還算走運了

506
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:28,084
‪至少不喜歡你的人都死了

507
00:21:28,084 --> 00:21:31,209
‪對,他們都死透了

508
00:21:31,209 --> 00:21:32,918
‪不用謝我

509
00:21:32,918 --> 00:21:35,793
‪噴火器沒燃料了,還剩一個小賈斯汀

510
00:21:35,793 --> 00:21:37,543
‪所以我們要開卡車輾過去

511
00:21:37,543 --> 00:21:38,793
‪總統從馬里蘭回來沒?

512
00:21:38,793 --> 00:21:39,751
‪沒有,他...

513
00:21:39,751 --> 00:21:42,001
‪等等,總統去了馬里蘭?

514
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:44,084
‪布朗博士和她丈夫

515
00:21:44,084 --> 00:21:47,126
‪要騙他去取回種子
‪好像是去...潘茨維爾

516
00:21:47,126 --> 00:21:48,251
‪還是貝爾鎮?

517
00:21:48,251 --> 00:21:49,251
‪貝爾茨維爾

518
00:21:49,251 --> 00:21:50,876
‪我的天啊

519
00:21:56,001 --> 00:21:57,751
‪你們認為我有多蠢?

520
00:21:58,959 --> 00:21:59,959
‪你們設計我

521
00:21:59,959 --> 00:22:01,251
‪來拿種子

522
00:22:01,251 --> 00:22:04,626
‪你們打算告訴我寶藏就是種子嗎?

523
00:22:05,376 --> 00:22:07,126
‪我們原本是打算讓你找到這個

524
00:22:08,126 --> 00:22:09,168
‪“恭喜

525
00:22:09,168 --> 00:22:11,084
‪你找到了國家寶藏

526
00:22:11,084 --> 00:22:12,959
‪寶藏就是你,美國選民

527
00:22:12,959 --> 00:22:14,834
‪喬治華盛頓敬上”

528
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:18,001
‪我竟然又遇到了這種事
‪又是一群豬隊友

529
00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:19,459
‪拜託喔

530
00:22:19,459 --> 00:22:23,209
‪你的故事重點不在於其他人是豬隊友

531
00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:25,084
‪你才是豬隊友

532
00:22:25,084 --> 00:22:27,251
‪為什麼?你們騙我耶

533
00:22:27,251 --> 00:22:28,959
‪對啊,但我又不願意

534
00:22:28,959 --> 00:22:31,376
‪就像我也不願意爬進巨大馬桶

535
00:22:31,376 --> 00:22:33,459
‪或是當人體圖騰柱的柱腳

536
00:22:33,459 --> 00:22:36,334
‪妳這是文化挪用
‪現在公義站在我這邊了

537
00:22:36,334 --> 00:22:37,834
‪我褻瀆了墓園

538
00:22:37,834 --> 00:22:39,376
‪我阿姨還葬在那邊耶

539
00:22:39,376 --> 00:22:41,001
‪而且大吼大叫讓我好不舒服

540
00:22:41,001 --> 00:22:42,793
‪所以我要說你戴我的帽子很帥

541
00:22:42,793 --> 00:22:45,918
‪但就是因為你不短打
‪我們才不得不設計你

542
00:22:45,918 --> 00:22:48,168
‪你做事只會考慮自己

543
00:22:48,168 --> 00:22:50,793
‪根本不為大局著想

544
00:22:50,793 --> 00:22:53,209
‪你的球隊是因為你才會輸球

545
00:22:53,209 --> 00:22:55,168
‪褲子很酷,哪弄來的?

546
00:22:55,168 --> 00:22:56,084
‪知道還有啥嗎?

547
00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:57,876
‪這一切都是考驗,其實有寶藏?

548
00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:00,168
‪你這次也無法贏得美人歸

549
00:23:00,168 --> 00:23:02,334
‪露西根本不在乎黃金

550
00:23:02,334 --> 00:23:05,834
‪她只在乎你是不是好人

551
00:23:05,834 --> 00:23:08,459
‪而你完全不是

552
00:23:11,459 --> 00:23:14,126
‪看來我不需要這副眼鏡了

553
00:23:15,543 --> 00:23:16,501
‪別亂丟

554
00:23:17,793 --> 00:23:18,709
‪搞什...

555
00:23:21,959 --> 00:23:24,209
‪這裡好像有扇門

556
00:23:24,209 --> 00:23:27,959
‪我們用富蘭克林的眼鏡找到了

557
00:23:27,959 --> 00:23:30,043
‪(平價鞋)

558
00:23:30,043 --> 00:23:32,251
‪這裡非常適合

559
00:23:32,918 --> 00:23:33,918
‪這是打哪來的?

560
00:23:33,918 --> 00:23:35,959
‪不知道,我打盹都睡得很沉

561
00:23:35,959 --> 00:23:39,793
‪所以我才在遺囑上註明
‪要埋個三明治陪葬,以防萬一

562
00:23:40,834 --> 00:23:42,251
‪“跟著錢走”

563
00:23:48,293 --> 00:23:51,126
‪趙先生,關於我們之前談到的話題

564
00:23:51,126 --> 00:23:52,793
‪快點爆料

565
00:23:52,793 --> 00:23:55,834
‪我最愛趴在地上吸起別人爆的料

566
00:23:56,543 --> 00:23:57,959
‪別說是我說的

567
00:23:57,959 --> 00:24:00,668
‪總統和第一夫人的關係

568
00:24:00,668 --> 00:24:02,376
‪其實只是做做表面功夫

569
00:24:02,376 --> 00:24:04,418
‪我不是指繡花枕頭喔

570
00:24:04,418 --> 00:24:05,334
‪希望不是

571
00:24:05,334 --> 00:24:08,876
‪那樣雖然奇怪,但也做不成報導

572
00:24:13,751 --> 00:24:16,501
‪要是真的有國家寶藏,我一定會氣死

573
00:24:17,251 --> 00:24:20,834
‪我之前說蛇會怕我,其實...

574
00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:23,209
‪只適用於一部分的蛇

575
00:24:25,584 --> 00:24:27,709
‪(美國總統封)

576
00:24:34,459 --> 00:24:35,543
‪先別動手

577
00:24:35,543 --> 00:24:36,959
‪-天啊
‪-站立的蛇

578
00:24:36,959 --> 00:24:38,709
‪聽我說明一下

579
00:24:41,834 --> 00:24:43,459
‪樂文醫生

580
00:24:43,459 --> 00:24:47,126
‪她在現場,用著她的方法

581
00:24:47,126 --> 00:24:50,459
‪幹著正事、和男人交往

582
00:24:50,459 --> 00:24:52,918
‪然後是姊妹之夜

583
00:24:52,918 --> 00:24:55,668
‪逛街買鞋、頤指氣使

584
00:24:55,668 --> 00:24:58,918
‪本節目可能是發生在90年代

585
00:24:58,918 --> 00:25:01,126
‪怎麼有人那麼擅長看牙

586
00:25:01,126 --> 00:25:04,001
‪戀愛卻那麼不幸?

587
00:25:04,001 --> 00:25:05,376
‪這麼說可能沒啥道理

588
00:25:05,376 --> 00:25:10,126
‪這是人際筆記,我們被強迫就會退讓

589
00:25:10,126 --> 00:25:12,626
‪她工作會為你填上蛀牙

590
00:25:12,626 --> 00:25:15,501
‪以及預防性牙周治療

591
00:25:15,501 --> 00:25:18,459
‪但她的感情生活是場悲劇

592
00:25:18,459 --> 00:25:22,126
‪不然就是瘋得徹底

593
00:25:22,126 --> 00:25:24,126
‪樂文醫生

594
00:25:24,126 --> 00:25:27,376
‪夢幻人生,應有盡有

595
00:25:27,376 --> 00:25:30,376
‪-她無須做選擇
‪-無須做選擇

596
00:25:30,376 --> 00:25:33,168
‪-她知道她不會輸
‪-她知道她不會輸

597
00:25:33,168 --> 00:25:35,168
{\an8}‪她是樂文醫生

598
00:25:35,168 --> 00:25:40,126
{\an8}‪她應有盡有

599
00:25:40,126 --> 00:25:42,126
‪字幕翻譯:韓仁耀