1
00:00:09,668 --> 00:00:12,918
‪神奇团队战无不胜

2
00:00:12,918 --> 00:00:15,834
‪扫清街上一切恶棍

3
00:00:15,834 --> 00:00:18,043
‪我是金刚废狼

4
00:00:18,043 --> 00:00:19,959
‪伤口恢复得很慢

5
00:00:20,751 --> 00:00:21,959
‪我是波尔卡圆点

6
00:00:21,959 --> 00:00:23,834
‪我有斑点!

7
00:00:24,543 --> 00:00:26,793
‪柔韧教授为你效劳

8
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:27,709
‪好痛!

9
00:00:28,501 --> 00:00:31,418
‪他们从外星人那里获得了超能力

10
00:00:31,418 --> 00:00:32,543
‪不 你们没有 快停下

11
00:00:32,543 --> 00:00:35,334
‪你们有严重的维生素缺乏症

12
00:00:35,334 --> 00:00:37,793
‪坏血病、软骨病、贫血症、脚气病...

13
00:00:37,793 --> 00:00:39,543
‪是这些疾病给了我们超能力吗?

14
00:00:39,543 --> 00:00:41,168
‪不 你们没有超能力

15
00:00:41,168 --> 00:00:44,418
‪但严重的B12缺乏症会导致精神错乱

16
00:00:44,418 --> 00:00:46,793
‪这就能解释你们为什么会听到声音

17
00:00:46,793 --> 00:00:50,251
‪别听她的 她嫉妒你们的能力

18
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:51,959
‪够了 这事很严重

19
00:00:51,959 --> 00:00:54,293
‪你们需要水果和蔬菜

20
00:00:54,293 --> 00:00:56,501
‪我不是说我的前夫们

21
00:00:57,126 --> 00:00:58,959
{\an8}‪莱文医生

22
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,626
‪梦想成真 她拥有一切

23
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:11,626
‪穆里根

24
00:01:16,168 --> 00:01:19,959
{\an8}‪放牛娃们 去杜莎夫人蜡像馆
‪把比伯的蜡像都给我带回来

25
00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:21,293
{\an8}‪将军 我们需要一辆卡车

26
00:01:21,293 --> 00:01:22,293
{\an8}‪没门

27
00:01:22,293 --> 00:01:24,043
{\an8}‪我只剩一辆有油的卡车了

28
00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:25,418
{\an8}‪这关系到国家安全

29
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,834
{\an8}‪没有水果!

30
00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:28,668
{\an8}‪我好久没上厕所了

31
00:01:28,668 --> 00:01:30,543
{\an8}‪就像我从夏令营被送回家那次一样

32
00:01:30,543 --> 00:01:33,334
{\an8}‪马里兰州贝尔茨维尔有种子库...

33
00:01:33,334 --> 00:01:34,751
{\an8}‪种子能长成植物

34
00:01:34,751 --> 00:01:37,251
{\an8}‪我写了关于植物的读书报告 博士

35
00:01:37,251 --> 00:01:38,793
‪总统说我们可以用卡车

36
00:01:38,793 --> 00:01:39,876
‪我在撒谎!

37
00:01:39,876 --> 00:01:42,918
‪撒谎让我的皮肤发烫 他没这么说

38
00:01:42,918 --> 00:01:44,793
‪卡车装种子?不行!

39
00:01:44,793 --> 00:01:46,334
‪我们只需要几个小时

40
00:01:46,334 --> 00:01:48,709
‪话说回来 为什么种子要放在库里?

41
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,709
‪谁会偷种子?

42
00:01:50,709 --> 00:01:52,376
‪鸟银行抢劫犯

43
00:01:52,376 --> 00:01:55,418
‪鸟版的《十一罗汉》

44
00:01:55,418 --> 00:01:56,918
‪《知更鸟银行》!

45
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,168
‪我们得拍部电影!

46
00:01:59,168 --> 00:02:02,084
‪他随后真拍了部电影 还不错

47
00:02:02,084 --> 00:02:05,168
‪听着 总统需要卡车
‪我不能告诉你原因

48
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:07,168
‪他让我发过誓的 伙计

49
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,876
‪我可不想死

50
00:02:08,876 --> 00:02:11,668
‪天啊 所有人都知道
‪他在找尼古拉斯凯奇

51
00:02:11,668 --> 00:02:13,084
‪那部电影里的国家宝藏

52
00:02:13,668 --> 00:02:16,918
‪我就在这里 欣赏这个普通的壁炉

53
00:02:16,918 --> 00:02:19,834
‪戴着本富兰克林的眼镜 为了时尚

54
00:02:19,834 --> 00:02:21,751
‪对 没在找什么东西

55
00:02:21,751 --> 00:02:24,751
‪拜托 宝藏在哪里?

56
00:02:25,834 --> 00:02:27,418
‪宝藏是我狗的名字

57
00:02:27,418 --> 00:02:28,668
‪出来 宝藏!

58
00:02:29,168 --> 00:02:30,084
‪等等 什么?

59
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,001
‪好啦

60
00:02:32,001 --> 00:02:33,626
‪要是他对我们食物供给的关心

61
00:02:33,626 --> 00:02:36,126
‪赶得上对电影里的假宝藏
‪的关心就好了

62
00:02:36,126 --> 00:02:38,126
‪而且那电影还有很多历史错误

63
00:02:38,126 --> 00:02:39,959
‪跟《莫扎特传》有一拼

64
00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:41,959
‪莫扎特和萨列里关系很好

65
00:02:41,959 --> 00:02:44,626
‪我们应该告诉他宝藏在贝尔茨维尔

66
00:02:44,626 --> 00:02:47,959
‪或者我们骗他 让他带我们去那里?

67
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,834
‪总统要寻宝?

68
00:02:49,834 --> 00:02:51,626
‪那就让他如愿以偿

69
00:02:54,084 --> 00:02:56,084
‪那个愚蠢的宝藏在哪里?

70
00:02:56,709 --> 00:02:59,168
‪好吧 我得把你的名字改了

71
00:02:59,168 --> 00:03:00,668
‪狗叫什么名字好呢?

72
00:03:00,668 --> 00:03:01,584
‪总统先生?

73
00:03:01,584 --> 00:03:03,959
‪不行 那是我的名字 别学这个

74
00:03:06,959 --> 00:03:08,459
‪我们得跟你谈谈

75
00:03:08,459 --> 00:03:10,626
‪是关于国宝的

76
00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:14,043
‪我就知道!是真的!

77
00:03:14,043 --> 00:03:18,001
‪没错 有个从古埃及时期积累的宝藏

78
00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:20,334
‪它重达几千吨

79
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:24,543
‪但在过去四千年里一直没被人找到

80
00:03:24,543 --> 00:03:26,793
‪那《国家宝藏2:夺宝秘笈》呢?

81
00:03:26,793 --> 00:03:28,668
‪有《总统秘笈》吗?

82
00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:29,626
‪没有 这太蠢了!

83
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,459
‪我不会告诉你 总统山被刻出来

84
00:03:31,459 --> 00:03:33,751
‪是为了保护另一个宝藏 我不会说的

85
00:03:33,751 --> 00:03:36,918
‪好吧 重要的是 第一个宝藏是真的

86
00:03:36,918 --> 00:03:38,668
‪西蒙都知道

87
00:03:38,668 --> 00:03:41,834
‪因为他来自一个历史悠久的
‪宝藏保护者家族

88
00:03:41,834 --> 00:03:43,751
‪怪不得你这么热衷于历史

89
00:03:44,293 --> 00:03:46,001
‪但布朗在这里做什么?

90
00:03:46,001 --> 00:03:48,293
‪她是贾斯汀巴莎的妈妈还是...

91
00:03:48,293 --> 00:03:50,959
‪布朗博士是我的助手

92
00:03:50,959 --> 00:03:53,043
‪她有有趣的口头禅吗?

93
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:56,251
‪宾果邦果 泰特土豆递一下!

94
00:03:57,209 --> 00:03:58,126
‪好极了

95
00:03:58,126 --> 00:03:59,376
‪好吧 算上你

96
00:03:59,376 --> 00:04:02,334
‪这是找到宝藏的关键

97
00:04:02,334 --> 00:04:04,876
‪我父亲的日记

98
00:04:04,876 --> 00:04:07,584
‪他的什么?
‪你爸爸是个青春期少女吗?

99
00:04:07,584 --> 00:04:11,251
‪“亲爱的日记
‪我彻底爱上了我儿子的妈妈”

100
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:15,209
‪“今天工作很有趣
‪我们学会了怎么做生意”

101
00:04:18,084 --> 00:04:21,709
{\an8}‪好吧 总之 他的日记里有很多线索

102
00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:25,001
‪我打赌第一个线索
‪肯定在《独立宣言》里

103
00:04:25,001 --> 00:04:25,918
‪-什么?
‪-好厉害

104
00:04:25,918 --> 00:04:26,959
‪当然了

105
00:04:26,959 --> 00:04:31,209
‪“鳗鱼诗人”是“我们人民”的变位词

106
00:04:32,709 --> 00:04:34,584
‪-就像独立...
‪-宣言

107
00:04:34,584 --> 00:04:36,626
‪走吧 我们坐卡车一号

108
00:04:37,584 --> 00:04:39,084
‪走错方向了 跟我来

109
00:04:39,584 --> 00:04:41,418
‪所以我跟约翰波顿说

110
00:04:41,418 --> 00:04:43,334
‪“孩子 你最好长出胡子

111
00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:46,793
‪因为那是我见过的
‪最糟糕的唇部纹身”

112
00:04:46,793 --> 00:04:49,584
‪你知道总统离开了
‪但没人知道他去了哪里吗?

113
00:04:49,584 --> 00:04:52,876
‪他说他要去一般总统会去的地方

114
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,959
‪“天啊 托德 你不是我妈”

115
00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:57,251
‪那我在跟谁说话?

116
00:04:57,751 --> 00:04:58,751
‪布勒!

117
00:04:58,751 --> 00:05:00,084
‪这特么太糟糕了!

118
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,084
‪我的手机以前会自动纠正脏话

119
00:05:03,084 --> 00:05:05,584
‪麦蒂原本会成为我参观活动的亮点

120
00:05:05,584 --> 00:05:07,168
‪托德服过役

121
00:05:07,168 --> 00:05:08,918
‪赫尔曼德省

122
00:05:08,918 --> 00:05:11,376
‪我邀请了一群青少年来参观白宫

123
00:05:11,376 --> 00:05:12,793
‪我的新事业是青少年

124
00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:14,626
‪我数到20的时候就想到了

125
00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:16,793
‪我不知道你为什么邀请青少年来这里

126
00:05:16,793 --> 00:05:19,668
‪他们唯一的用处就是买烟
‪但不能买酒

127
00:05:19,668 --> 00:05:21,251
‪去参战 但不能投票

128
00:05:21,251 --> 00:05:23,876
‪在外星人袭击前
‪做个孩子已经够辛苦了

129
00:05:23,876 --> 00:05:26,001
‪我只想让他们有个好的榜样

130
00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:28,918
‪这样他们就不会变成柯尔斯顿

131
00:05:28,918 --> 00:05:30,251
‪你是在说我吗?

132
00:05:30,251 --> 00:05:32,668
{\an8}‪不 柯尔斯顿 她在说我!

133
00:05:32,668 --> 00:05:34,418
{\an8}‪当着我的面说 贱人!

134
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:38,001
‪我讨厌这份工作
‪我恨我爸爸给我找的这份工作

135
00:05:38,001 --> 00:05:39,751
‪我今天得提前下班

136
00:05:39,751 --> 00:05:41,084
‪天啊!

137
00:05:41,084 --> 00:05:44,293
‪不 亲爱的 我说的是另一个柯尔斯顿

138
00:05:45,418 --> 00:05:47,543
‪上帝保佑我

139
00:05:47,543 --> 00:05:49,376
‪高贵的我长命百岁

140
00:05:49,376 --> 00:05:53,209
‪上帝保佑我

141
00:05:53,209 --> 00:05:55,668
‪赵先生 你有何贵干?

142
00:05:55,668 --> 00:05:57,543
‪今天没什么新闻 陛下

143
00:05:57,543 --> 00:06:00,793
‪而且我们已经用尽动物友谊的故事了

144
00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:03,793
‪我们现在开始写
‪动物之间亦敌亦友的故事了

145
00:06:04,293 --> 00:06:07,876
‪我念的是英国寄宿学校

146
00:06:07,876 --> 00:06:09,959
‪听我怎么说“铝”

147
00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:11,459
‪太荒谬了

148
00:06:11,459 --> 00:06:15,001
‪在英国 报纸和王室关系紧密

149
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,376
‪就像这样...

150
00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:19,293
‪我的手指太胖了 插不起来

151
00:06:19,293 --> 00:06:21,376
‪这象征着巨大的财富
‪所以很振奋人心

152
00:06:21,376 --> 00:06:23,251
‪有什么热辣八卦告诉我吗?

153
00:06:23,251 --> 00:06:26,084
‪你知道今天早上
‪总统为什么会开着卡车离开这里吗?

154
00:06:26,084 --> 00:06:28,501
‪当我在我的密友身边时
‪我的口音就会恢复

155
00:06:28,501 --> 00:06:30,334
‪总统不在家?

156
00:06:30,334 --> 00:06:31,626
‪也许他在搞外遇

157
00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:33,126
‪这个头条标题怎么样?

158
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,084
‪“总统得到Schmezzo”

159
00:06:35,084 --> 00:06:37,084
‪“Schmezzo”是什么俚语吗?

160
00:06:37,084 --> 00:06:40,418
‪什么?不可能 白宫里搞外遇?

161
00:06:40,418 --> 00:06:41,668
‪离谱!

162
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:44,209
‪“难以置信”的更正式说法

163
00:06:44,209 --> 00:06:46,709
‪我不知道我们今天要喊什么

164
00:06:46,709 --> 00:06:48,251
‪食品短缺怎么样?

165
00:06:48,251 --> 00:06:49,543
‪这有什么吸引人的?

166
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:50,459
‪没什么

167
00:06:50,459 --> 00:06:53,543
‪我瘦了一点 但没什么

168
00:07:03,418 --> 00:07:05,834
‪其他的总统就只是老实待着

169
00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:08,668
‪我是说 罗斯福总统
‪甚至都不为他的雕塑挺身而出

170
00:07:08,668 --> 00:07:09,876
‪他坐轮椅

171
00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:11,376
‪但我会做事

172
00:07:11,376 --> 00:07:14,626
‪等我带着一辆装满宝藏的卡车回去
‪人们会激动坏的

173
00:07:14,626 --> 00:07:16,126
‪尤其是露西

174
00:07:16,126 --> 00:07:19,251
‪让我告诉你 女人想要三样东西

175
00:07:19,251 --> 00:07:20,793
‪邓肯甜甜圈的隐藏菜单

176
00:07:20,793 --> 00:07:22,584
‪注意到她们做了发型

177
00:07:22,584 --> 00:07:23,709
‪还有珠宝

178
00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:25,543
‪哇 别再让我性欲大发了

179
00:07:26,168 --> 00:07:27,793
‪我没看到任何线索

180
00:07:27,793 --> 00:07:30,043
‪我明明戴着最好的现代眼镜

181
00:07:30,043 --> 00:07:31,251
‪看来我们该放弃了

182
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:33,793
‪或者你的眼镜就是问题所在

183
00:07:36,376 --> 00:07:38,918
‪等下 我能看到其中一个名字
‪被阳光照射

184
00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:41,293
‪哇 肯定是第一缕晨光

185
00:07:41,293 --> 00:07:42,918
‪就像那首歌里唱的

186
00:07:42,918 --> 00:07:45,418
‪但斯蒂芬霍普金斯是谁?

187
00:07:46,168 --> 00:07:47,834
‪霍普金斯来自罗德岛

188
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,251
‪霍普金斯...

189
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,876
‪“霍普” 兔子

190
00:07:50,876 --> 00:07:52,959
‪“金斯” 亲戚

191
00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:54,251
‪兔子亲戚

192
00:07:54,251 --> 00:07:55,209
‪袋鼠

193
00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:56,584
‪宝藏在澳大利亚!

194
00:07:57,168 --> 00:08:00,668
‪而澳大利亚就在世界另一边
‪正对着?

195
00:08:00,668 --> 00:08:01,834
‪罗德岛!

196
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:03,959
‪里面有“道路”这个词

197
00:08:03,959 --> 00:08:06,834
‪还有“岛” 就像澳大利亚!

198
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:10,584
‪华盛顿有条道路叫罗德岛大道!

199
00:08:10,584 --> 00:08:11,751
‪干得好 先生

200
00:08:11,751 --> 00:08:13,834
‪嘿 我简直就是印第安纳琼斯本斯

201
00:08:13,834 --> 00:08:15,959
‪只不过蛇都怕我

202
00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:19,459
‪以及我父亲被绑架时
‪家里人什么都没干

203
00:08:22,834 --> 00:08:24,668
‪总统失踪了

204
00:08:24,668 --> 00:08:26,543
‪那代表我现在说了算

205
00:08:28,334 --> 00:08:31,751
‪那代表我现在说了算

206
00:08:31,751 --> 00:08:33,709
‪向我敬礼 嘿!

207
00:08:33,709 --> 00:08:35,209
‪现在这首歌有了歌词

208
00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:38,834
‪是英文的 因为西班牙语已被禁用

209
00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:41,251
‪我停不下来了!

210
00:08:41,251 --> 00:08:42,584
‪总统是梦想

211
00:08:42,584 --> 00:08:44,918
‪这是我一直以来的梦想

212
00:08:47,459 --> 00:08:48,459
‪现在我很干净

213
00:08:48,459 --> 00:08:50,751
‪我一直以来都想要的干净

214
00:08:53,626 --> 00:08:56,876
‪这是我的房子 我必须守卫它

215
00:08:58,251 --> 00:08:59,126
‪好极了

216
00:09:10,418 --> 00:09:13,251
‪从我穿短裤起

217
00:09:13,251 --> 00:09:15,418
‪我就一直想坐在这张桌前

218
00:09:15,418 --> 00:09:16,959
‪非常短

219
00:09:16,959 --> 00:09:17,959
‪梦想

220
00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:20,209
‪托德有梦想?

221
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:22,001
‪(法拍
‪出售)

222
00:09:23,876 --> 00:09:25,459
‪(武装部队职业中心
‪正在招募)

223
00:09:25,459 --> 00:09:27,043
‪但《圣经》里说

224
00:09:27,043 --> 00:09:30,084
‪男孩多节的腿便是他的王冠和荣耀

225
00:09:30,084 --> 00:09:31,876
‪孩子 你在听吗?

226
00:09:31,876 --> 00:09:32,793
‪是的

227
00:09:32,793 --> 00:09:33,751
‪梦想

228
00:09:37,584 --> 00:09:40,168
‪拜托 尊重一下别人吧

229
00:09:40,168 --> 00:09:42,043
‪这张桌子以前是艘船

230
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:48,126
‪搞什么?

231
00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:51,251
‪我的天呀

232
00:09:51,251 --> 00:09:53,584
‪这是《总统秘笈》

233
00:09:54,876 --> 00:09:56,126
‪怎么样 家人们?

234
00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:58,626
‪“出恭”的第一夫人!

235
00:09:58,626 --> 00:09:59,959
‪我是说“白宫”

236
00:09:59,959 --> 00:10:01,668
‪不是厕所的意思

237
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:04,293
‪这是总统的房子 虽然他不在这里

238
00:10:04,293 --> 00:10:05,376
‪什么?

239
00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:06,876
‪你不能这样对我们

240
00:10:06,876 --> 00:10:08,209
‪我们是爆炸世代的孩子

241
00:10:08,209 --> 00:10:10,251
‪因为某些原因 我们有被遗弃的阴影

242
00:10:10,251 --> 00:10:14,043
‪就算没有他
‪这次参观也会很schmezzo

243
00:10:14,043 --> 00:10:15,501
‪那个词不是这么用的

244
00:10:15,501 --> 00:10:16,584
‪要走楼梯吗?

245
00:10:16,584 --> 00:10:19,168
‪因为我的骨头因为缺钙疼得厉害

246
00:10:20,001 --> 00:10:21,668
‪敲敲门

247
00:10:21,668 --> 00:10:23,251
‪我们英国人是这么敲门的

248
00:10:23,251 --> 00:10:26,334
‪杰里米 现在不太方便
‪我正在带领大家...

249
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,084
‪她很差劲

250
00:10:28,084 --> 00:10:29,501
‪或许我帮得上忙

251
00:10:29,501 --> 00:10:32,668
‪毕竟 你们知道守规矩的参观团队
‪会得到什么吗?

252
00:10:32,668 --> 00:10:34,084
‪-封为爵士?
‪-什么?

253
00:10:37,459 --> 00:10:41,251
‪有趣的是 白宫以前有落地墙

254
00:10:41,251 --> 00:10:45,084
‪但这不是白宫第一次遭到破坏

255
00:10:45,084 --> 00:10:47,084
‪它在1814年被烧毁

256
00:10:47,084 --> 00:10:50,001
‪很遗憾 是英国人烧毁的

257
00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:53,126
‪但现在我们两国有着友好的关系

258
00:10:53,126 --> 00:10:55,584
‪有时候过于友好了

259
00:10:55,584 --> 00:10:57,418
‪你为什么用这种口气说“友好”?

260
00:10:57,418 --> 00:11:00,293
‪他们绝对有一腿

261
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,001
‪什么?不 我们是朋友

262
00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:03,376
‪真的是朋友

263
00:11:03,376 --> 00:11:06,084
‪从什么时候开始起
‪“友好”也有色情意味了?

264
00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:12,918
‪总之 我们的下一站是白宫游泳池

265
00:11:12,918 --> 00:11:15,418
‪有趣的是 现在里面到处都是蜥蜴

266
00:11:15,418 --> 00:11:16,751
‪(罗德岛大道)

267
00:11:16,751 --> 00:11:17,959
‪我们该走哪条路?

268
00:11:17,959 --> 00:11:19,543
‪这是个陷阱吗?

269
00:11:19,543 --> 00:11:21,584
‪也许我们该往北走

270
00:11:21,584 --> 00:11:23,501
‪你以为北边是向上吗?

271
00:11:24,168 --> 00:11:26,209
‪对 看看地图就知道了 博士

272
00:11:26,209 --> 00:11:28,709
‪我在共济会的墓地里找到了一样东西

273
00:11:28,709 --> 00:11:30,251
‪索尼克墓地 没错

274
00:11:30,834 --> 00:11:33,001
‪那些墓碑似乎堆成了某种图案

275
00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:36,709
‪我们得去高处
‪这种情况登高才看得清

276
00:11:36,709 --> 00:11:38,501
‪我想我们从这里就看得清

277
00:11:38,501 --> 00:11:41,418
‪“想”是助手的工作吗还是...

278
00:11:41,418 --> 00:11:43,543
‪宾果邦果 辣肉丸来啦!

279
00:11:43,543 --> 00:11:47,876
‪我喜欢 但我不确定
‪你能不能再继续开这种玩笑

280
00:11:47,876 --> 00:11:49,709
‪我们怎么去北边呢?

281
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:52,168
‪为什么我在最下面?

282
00:11:52,168 --> 00:11:55,043
‪-这是按重要程度排序
‪-能看看形状吗?

283
00:11:55,043 --> 00:11:57,876
‪看起来像个棍子人
‪但他的头被砍掉了

284
00:11:57,876 --> 00:11:59,459
‪而且没有腿或鞋

285
00:11:59,459 --> 00:12:01,501
‪听起来你在描述箭头 先生

286
00:12:02,959 --> 00:12:04,168
{\an8}‪(线索2)

287
00:12:04,168 --> 00:12:05,626
{\an8}‪没错

288
00:12:05,626 --> 00:12:07,168
‪上卡车!

289
00:12:08,334 --> 00:12:09,668
‪老天!

290
00:12:10,668 --> 00:12:12,418
‪屋顶上有飞盘

291
00:12:12,418 --> 00:12:13,543
‪布朗 跳!

292
00:12:13,543 --> 00:12:14,834
{\an8}‪都在这里了

293
00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:19,126
{\an8}‪每一次幕后交易 肯尼迪的五次暗杀

294
00:12:19,126 --> 00:12:21,001
{\an8}‪外星人是真的

295
00:12:21,501 --> 00:12:22,626
{\an8}‪我一直不知道

296
00:12:22,626 --> 00:12:24,209
{\an8}‪对我来说 你才是外星人

297
00:12:25,918 --> 00:12:30,084
‪1988年 我第一次竞选总统

298
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,209
‪我们需要有经验的人

299
00:12:33,209 --> 00:12:34,668
‪一个能干成事的人

300
00:12:34,668 --> 00:12:36,751
‪像乔治布什这样的人

301
00:12:36,751 --> 00:12:38,834
‪当然了 先生 我会耐心等待

302
00:12:39,751 --> 00:12:41,459
‪(2000年选举
‪热水浴缸照曝光?)

303
00:12:43,626 --> 00:12:46,376
‪我们需要没有经验的人

304
00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:48,668
‪一个什么事都干不成的人

305
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,501
‪像乔治布什这样的人

306
00:12:50,501 --> 00:12:53,084
‪当然了 先生 我会耐心等待

307
00:12:53,834 --> 00:12:56,126
‪天啊 他什么时候能听懂暗示?

308
00:12:56,126 --> 00:12:57,876
‪(2016年选举
‪“杰布”的替代人选)

309
00:13:01,126 --> 00:13:02,876
‪我们需要一个人

310
00:13:02,876 --> 00:13:04,876
‪像杰布布什这样的人

311
00:13:05,376 --> 00:13:08,251
‪当然了 先生 我会耐心等待

312
00:13:09,918 --> 00:13:12,376
‪那个老家伙赢不了全国大选

313
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:13,751
‪谁想跟他一起喝啤酒?

314
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,251
‪人们不喜欢拉马尔

315
00:13:16,251 --> 00:13:17,876
‪我不怪他们

316
00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:19,251
‪他看着就瘆人

317
00:13:19,251 --> 00:13:20,876
‪真是个废物

318
00:13:24,668 --> 00:13:26,918
‪我永远不会跟他喝啤酒!

319
00:13:29,001 --> 00:13:31,918
{\an8}‪你这个表情
‪我在人类情感抽认卡上见过

320
00:13:31,918 --> 00:13:35,709
‪你刚刚得知你尊重的每个人
‪私底下都鄙视你

321
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:38,293
{\an8}‪现在你对绿色的东西生气了

322
00:13:38,293 --> 00:13:41,876
{\an8}‪现在你对某人卡片的精细度感到惊讶

323
00:13:43,209 --> 00:13:45,126
‪(乔治华盛顿的水井里
‪有我们的酒杯)

324
00:13:45,126 --> 00:13:47,209
‪我不明白为什么这是助手的工作

325
00:13:47,209 --> 00:13:49,751
‪英雄不该是爬进井里的人吗?

326
00:13:49,751 --> 00:13:51,751
‪我是那么打算的 但如果有蛇呢?

327
00:13:51,751 --> 00:13:53,043
‪我会吓到它们的

328
00:13:53,043 --> 00:13:55,418
‪确实有蛇 明智的选择

329
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:58,501
‪法拉 你在乔治华盛顿的井里
‪发现什么了吗?

330
00:13:58,501 --> 00:14:00,668
‪只是这个旧啤酒杯

331
00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:02,668
‪革命时代的啤酒杯?

332
00:14:02,668 --> 00:14:04,209
‪这是谁的?

333
00:14:04,209 --> 00:14:06,251
‪有啤酒爱国者队吗?

334
00:14:06,251 --> 00:14:08,251
‪山姆亚当斯!写在瓶子上!

335
00:14:08,251 --> 00:14:11,126
‪但为什么要把它藏在右转弯附近?

336
00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:13,626
‪亚当斯是右撇子

337
00:14:13,626 --> 00:14:16,876
‪不 他不是 在瓶子上
‪他用左手拿着啤酒

338
00:14:16,876 --> 00:14:18,001
‪那是...

339
00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:20,168
‪嗯...

340
00:14:20,168 --> 00:14:22,751
‪我觉得西蒙想说的是

341
00:14:22,751 --> 00:14:25,251
‪你在瓶子上看不到的是

342
00:14:25,251 --> 00:14:28,418
‪他的右手也同样拿着啤酒 所以...

343
00:14:28,418 --> 00:14:30,293
‪他左右开弓!

344
00:14:30,293 --> 00:14:32,876
‪因为他来自波士顿 他很厉害

345
00:14:33,626 --> 00:14:35,668
‪所以他是右撇子

346
00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:38,001
‪我们向右转 助手

347
00:14:38,001 --> 00:14:39,918
‪遵命 老大

348
00:14:39,918 --> 00:14:42,126
‪好吧 差点意思 但态度端正

349
00:14:44,209 --> 00:14:46,126
‪天啊 一切都很顺利

350
00:14:46,126 --> 00:14:48,793
‪老实说 我当初不确定你们该跟我去

351
00:14:48,793 --> 00:14:50,709
‪因为我是个“独狗”

352
00:14:50,709 --> 00:14:51,668
‪你说“狗”吗?

353
00:14:51,668 --> 00:14:54,668
‪对 汪汪叫的狗
‪独自上路 他的朋友呢?

354
00:14:55,209 --> 00:14:57,584
‪那就是我 因为我并不总是爱...

355
00:14:57,584 --> 00:15:00,084
‪那叫什么来着?一群人一起工作?

356
00:15:00,084 --> 00:15:01,668
‪我很确定里面有个字母“i”

357
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:02,584
‪三驾马车?

358
00:15:02,584 --> 00:15:05,418
‪我觉得你想说的是“团队”这个词

359
00:15:05,418 --> 00:15:06,584
‪你不是打过棒球吗?

360
00:15:06,584 --> 00:15:08,876
‪是的 我的队友是最差的

361
00:15:08,876 --> 00:15:11,209
‪一群狗屁不通的混蛋

362
00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:13,751
‪有场比赛 我们就差一球

363
00:15:13,751 --> 00:15:16,126
‪就能赢得圣诞树商店赞助播出的

364
00:15:16,126 --> 00:15:17,959
‪龙虾锅世界联赛

365
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,376
‪与讨厌的纳舒厄陆地蛤蜊队对战...

366
00:15:20,376 --> 00:15:21,376
‪什么队?

367
00:15:21,376 --> 00:15:24,209
‪...而我那该死的教练
‪竟然示意我打触击球

368
00:15:24,209 --> 00:15:25,709
‪我猜到了投手的下一步动作

369
00:15:25,709 --> 00:15:27,709
‪我知道什么时候时机成熟

370
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:30,626
‪麦迪麦迪根在看台上呢
‪我不会打触击球的

371
00:15:30,626 --> 00:15:32,293
‪我刚拿到了基因检测报告

372
00:15:32,293 --> 00:15:34,626
‪我们没有血缘关系
‪所以我势在必得

373
00:15:34,626 --> 00:15:37,459
‪打触击球 混蛋!我会跟你亲嘴!

374
00:15:37,459 --> 00:15:38,918
‪这违反了妓女的规定

375
00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:54,251
‪比赛结束 海猪队输了!

376
00:15:54,251 --> 00:15:56,084
‪嘘!

377
00:15:56,084 --> 00:15:57,251
‪不要 把我放下!

378
00:15:57,251 --> 00:15:59,918
‪我不需要你们帮忙!
‪我可以自己走!

379
00:16:01,084 --> 00:16:03,459
‪要是他们听我的 我们早就赢了

380
00:16:03,459 --> 00:16:06,168
‪我们就会成为那个游乐园的嘉宾

381
00:16:06,168 --> 00:16:08,168
‪并死在那次过山车爆炸中了

382
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,126
‪而我会和麦迪麦迪根一起回家

383
00:16:10,126 --> 00:16:12,626
‪而不是跟一个陆地蛤蜊
‪在她面前走过

384
00:16:12,626 --> 00:16:14,376
‪是啊 听懂了

385
00:16:14,376 --> 00:16:16,168
‪其他人都是坏队友

386
00:16:16,168 --> 00:16:18,001
‪但这次很顺利 为什么?

387
00:16:18,001 --> 00:16:20,793
‪因为这一次 终于轮到麦迪做决定了

388
00:16:21,376 --> 00:16:24,168
‪先生?看来前面的桥塌了

389
00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:26,084
‪团队决定!我们跃过去!

390
00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:27,793
‪不!

391
00:16:27,793 --> 00:16:28,918
‪糟了!

392
00:16:34,043 --> 00:16:35,501
‪这是日光室

393
00:16:35,501 --> 00:16:38,876
‪灵魂水族馆的另一个更时髦的叫法

394
00:16:38,876 --> 00:16:41,418
‪拉马尔先生 你记得杰里米国王吧

395
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,959
‪他代替麦蒂的位置

396
00:16:42,959 --> 00:16:44,334
‪我是指参观活动 仅此而已

397
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:45,876
‪我只是来帮忙的

398
00:16:45,876 --> 00:16:49,251
‪没别的了 不多也不少

399
00:16:49,251 --> 00:16:51,584
‪你们一定是我们的年轻访客

400
00:16:51,584 --> 00:16:54,334
‪你们这些孩子
‪是我们最重要的自然资源

401
00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:56,376
‪因为有一天你们会变成石油

402
00:16:56,376 --> 00:16:58,709
‪拉马尔先生是副总统

403
00:16:58,709 --> 00:17:01,251
‪但你比其他人年纪大很多
‪为什么你不是总统?

404
00:17:01,251 --> 00:17:02,418
‪我本来可以

405
00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:04,501
‪我很讨人喜欢

406
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:07,043
‪你们都看得出来我是当总统的料吧?

407
00:17:07,043 --> 00:17:08,918
‪也许是总统的爸爸

408
00:17:08,918 --> 00:17:10,001
‪别说 他还真像

409
00:17:10,001 --> 00:17:11,876
‪不 爸爸很逊

410
00:17:11,876 --> 00:17:13,001
‪父母最差劲了

411
00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:15,918
‪你瞧 年轻人...我是说 伙计们 我很酷

412
00:17:15,918 --> 00:17:17,584
‪大家都想和我一起喝啤酒

413
00:17:18,251 --> 00:17:19,751
‪你们喜欢电视吗?

414
00:17:19,751 --> 00:17:23,209
‪我出演了公共事务频道的
‪第一部和最后一部真人秀节目

415
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:28,084
{\an8}‪我是卡特赖特拉马尔
‪我不知道这是怎么回事

416
00:17:28,668 --> 00:17:30,918
‪我是《爱情岛》第38季的赢家

417
00:17:30,918 --> 00:17:33,668
‪因为雷电风暴时 其他人都在泳池里

418
00:17:33,668 --> 00:17:36,584
‪你们这些孩子们喜欢看古怪东西吗?

419
00:17:36,584 --> 00:17:39,709
‪他们不会给你们看的东西

420
00:17:45,834 --> 00:17:46,876
‪我们成功了

421
00:17:48,084 --> 00:17:49,459
‪一定是这里

422
00:17:49,459 --> 00:17:52,709
‪“当道路结束时
‪你会像橘子一样高兴

423
00:17:52,709 --> 00:17:54,959
‪因为这栋建筑是宝藏所在地”

424
00:17:54,959 --> 00:17:56,626
‪天啊 那些共济会的人

425
00:17:56,626 --> 00:17:59,084
‪肯定在角落里把自己画成了“橘子”

426
00:17:59,084 --> 00:18:01,668
‪也许是因为他们时间紧迫
‪并且是用笔写的

427
00:18:01,668 --> 00:18:03,751
‪别再纠结不押韵的事了

428
00:18:03,751 --> 00:18:05,418
‪不管怎样
‪他们带我们找到了宝藏

429
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,459
‪干得好 团队

430
00:18:06,459 --> 00:18:07,959
‪在我麦蒂的领导下

431
00:18:07,959 --> 00:18:10,418
‪你的领导才是真正的宝藏 老大

432
00:18:10,418 --> 00:18:13,668
‪注意尽助手之责和拍马屁之间的界限

433
00:18:13,668 --> 00:18:16,043
‪你得问自己:“巴莎会怎么做?”

434
00:18:18,043 --> 00:18:18,918
‪贝尔茨维尔?

435
00:18:18,918 --> 00:18:20,876
‪我好像在哪听过

436
00:18:23,209 --> 00:18:25,126
‪绅士鸟们 这就是我们的目标

437
00:18:25,793 --> 00:18:27,001
‪贝尔茨维尔种子库

438
00:18:28,626 --> 00:18:30,918
‪布朗的种子?她...

439
00:18:31,834 --> 00:18:33,876
‪那群狗屁不通的混蛋

440
00:18:33,876 --> 00:18:37,001
‪你们这些蝌蚪喜欢
‪黏糊和恶心的东西 对吧?

441
00:18:37,001 --> 00:18:41,168
‪来看看这个怪胎秀吧

442
00:18:42,168 --> 00:18:43,959
‪现在你们觉得我schmezzo了吗?

443
00:18:44,543 --> 00:18:45,376
‪是个外星人

444
00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:48,876
‪我做噩梦时见过 几乎是每天晚上

445
00:18:48,876 --> 00:18:50,584
‪但他不奇怪吗?

446
00:18:50,584 --> 00:18:54,084
‪看哪 他有很多条胳膊
‪和一个尖尖的大屁股

447
00:18:54,084 --> 00:18:57,834
‪他的腿奇形怪状的
‪像是一棵闹鬼的老树

448
00:18:57,834 --> 00:18:59,376
‪嘿 我长得不奇怪

449
00:18:59,376 --> 00:19:00,668
‪我十几岁时

450
00:19:00,668 --> 00:19:03,251
‪商场里有个男人问我是否愿意当模特

451
00:19:03,251 --> 00:19:04,626
‪没错 别身材羞辱他!

452
00:19:04,626 --> 00:19:08,501
‪人们之所以去霸凌别人
‪是因为内心的不安全感作祟

453
00:19:08,501 --> 00:19:10,751
‪我很招人喜欢

454
00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:15,084
‪我告诉你们 我办公室里
‪有我和帕特里夏希顿的合照

455
00:19:15,959 --> 00:19:17,001
‪那是谁?

456
00:19:17,001 --> 00:19:18,584
‪露西 我必须承认

457
00:19:18,584 --> 00:19:20,793
‪我过来的时候 知道麦蒂不在

458
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,584
‪我希望咱俩能聊聊

459
00:19:22,584 --> 00:19:24,959
‪好 你想聊什么?

460
00:19:24,959 --> 00:19:27,168
‪聊天?这就是我们和婴儿的区别

461
00:19:27,168 --> 00:19:28,876
‪我想聊一聊我们之间的事

462
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,668
‪你不能否认我们在一起很合拍

463
00:19:30,668 --> 00:19:32,084
‪就像金酒和早餐

464
00:19:32,959 --> 00:19:37,168
‪听着 杰里米 你高大帅气
‪而且对动物很温柔

465
00:19:37,168 --> 00:19:38,543
‪任何一个都可能是王子

466
00:19:39,543 --> 00:19:41,376
‪但我不能和你在一起

467
00:19:41,376 --> 00:19:42,459
‪因为麦蒂?

468
00:19:42,459 --> 00:19:45,668
‪他甚至不愿在你遇到麻烦的青少年时
‪出来帮助你

469
00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:47,793
‪看看他们有多麻烦

470
00:19:47,793 --> 00:19:49,168
‪不是因为麦蒂

471
00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:52,376
‪如果我告诉你什么
‪你能保证不告诉别人吗?

472
00:19:52,376 --> 00:19:53,293
‪当然

473
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,459
‪这么多年来 我已经学会了沉默

474
00:19:55,459 --> 00:19:57,459
‪因为夜店的音乐声实在太吵了

475
00:19:57,459 --> 00:20:01,001
‪我和麦蒂 我们不是真的在一起

476
00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,793
‪他只想要一个美丽的第一夫人

477
00:20:02,793 --> 00:20:05,751
‪而我想成为第一夫人
‪好让世界变得更加美好

478
00:20:05,751 --> 00:20:07,668
‪但你可以以皇后的身份做这些

479
00:20:07,668 --> 00:20:10,126
‪想想那些需要洗礼的船

480
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,293
‪现在 它们都要下地狱了

481
00:20:12,293 --> 00:20:14,751
‪但我不能这样对美国

482
00:20:14,751 --> 00:20:18,459
‪我觉得这个国家
‪目前无法接受被抛弃的命运

483
00:20:24,543 --> 00:20:26,334
‪给你留个纪念吧

484
00:20:27,168 --> 00:20:30,251
‪多亏了严重的维生素D缺乏症

485
00:20:34,876 --> 00:20:35,751
‪敲敲门

486
00:20:35,751 --> 00:20:38,793
‪我们在卡迪B星球就是这么敲门的

487
00:20:38,793 --> 00:20:42,959
‪艾克斯崔 作为一个绅士
‪我应该向你道歉

488
00:20:42,959 --> 00:20:47,251
‪我不该让人们注意到
‪你的身体对人形上帝的邪恶嘲弄

489
00:20:47,251 --> 00:20:48,751
‪你今天过得很不顺

490
00:20:48,751 --> 00:20:50,334
‪如果你像我一样

491
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:54,001
‪你可能只想织一个茧 把它装满尿液
‪然后泡个澡

492
00:20:54,001 --> 00:20:57,668
‪我不敢相信我的同事们
‪我当作朋友的人会轻视我

493
00:20:57,668 --> 00:21:00,418
‪认为我跟超市的贝果一样...

494
00:21:00,418 --> 00:21:02,626
‪我是说 撒撒格拉萨炖菜

495
00:21:03,709 --> 00:21:05,209
‪我感同身受

496
00:21:05,209 --> 00:21:07,043
‪等我在家乡的同胞

497
00:21:07,043 --> 00:21:10,834
‪发现我没能征服一个
‪满是石器时代粘液囊生物的星球

498
00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:14,334
‪我就得去住狗屋了

499
00:21:14,834 --> 00:21:18,584
‪那不是真正的屋子 而是笼子

500
00:21:18,584 --> 00:21:20,126
‪而且也没有真正的狗

501
00:21:20,126 --> 00:21:22,376
‪更接近...我该怎么说呢?

502
00:21:22,376 --> 00:21:24,168
‪激光鳄鱼

503
00:21:24,168 --> 00:21:25,501
‪你算走运的了

504
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:28,084
‪至少所有不喜欢你的人都死了

505
00:21:28,084 --> 00:21:31,209
‪是的 他们肯定...死了

506
00:21:31,209 --> 00:21:32,834
‪不客气

507
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:35,793
‪我没有喷火器果汁了
‪我还剩了些比伯

508
00:21:35,793 --> 00:21:37,459
‪我们要用一辆卡车把它压扁

509
00:21:37,459 --> 00:21:38,793
‪总统从马里兰回来了吗?

510
00:21:38,793 --> 00:21:39,709
‪没有 他...

511
00:21:39,709 --> 00:21:41,959
‪等一下 总统去了马里兰?

512
00:21:41,959 --> 00:21:44,084
‪布朗博士和她丈夫

513
00:21:44,084 --> 00:21:47,043
‪想让他去运种子...是叫潘茨维尔吗?

514
00:21:47,043 --> 00:21:48,251
‪还是贝尔特镇?

515
00:21:48,251 --> 00:21:49,251
‪贝尔茨维尔!

516
00:21:49,251 --> 00:21:50,876
‪我的天啊!

517
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:52,626
‪哇

518
00:21:55,918 --> 00:21:57,751
‪你们觉得我有多蠢?

519
00:21:58,959 --> 00:21:59,959
‪你们在骗我

520
00:21:59,959 --> 00:22:01,251
‪为了种子!

521
00:22:01,251 --> 00:22:04,626
‪你们是想告诉我那是宝藏吗?种子?

522
00:22:05,334 --> 00:22:07,126
‪计划是让你找到这个

523
00:22:08,126 --> 00:22:09,168
‪“恭喜

524
00:22:09,168 --> 00:22:11,084
‪你找到了国宝”

525
00:22:11,084 --> 00:22:12,959
‪就是你 美国选民”

526
00:22:12,959 --> 00:22:14,834
‪爱你的乔治华盛顿”

527
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:18,001
‪天啊 历史又重演了
‪我又被坏队友拖累了

528
00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:19,418
‪老天!

529
00:22:19,418 --> 00:22:23,209
‪那个故事的重点
‪不是其他人都是坏队友

530
00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:25,084
‪你才是坏队友!

531
00:22:25,084 --> 00:22:27,251
‪怎么会?是你骗了我!

532
00:22:27,251 --> 00:22:28,876
‪我也不想

533
00:22:28,876 --> 00:22:31,376
‪就像我不想爬进巨型马桶

534
00:22:31,376 --> 00:22:33,459
‪或者成为人类图腾柱的底座一样

535
00:22:33,459 --> 00:22:36,334
‪文化挪用 我现在占领高地了

536
00:22:36,334 --> 00:22:37,793
‪我亵渎了一个墓地

537
00:22:37,793 --> 00:22:39,251
‪我阿姨就埋在那儿!

538
00:22:39,251 --> 00:22:40,959
‪还有 吼叫会让我不舒服

539
00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:42,793
‪所以我只想说你戴我的帽子很好看

540
00:22:42,793 --> 00:22:45,918
‪但我们必须要骗你
‪因为你不肯打触击球

541
00:22:45,918 --> 00:22:48,168
‪你只做自己想做的事

542
00:22:48,168 --> 00:22:50,793
‪你根本不在乎更崇高的目标

543
00:22:50,793 --> 00:22:53,209
‪你的球队因为你输了

544
00:22:53,209 --> 00:22:55,168
‪裤子不错 你从哪儿弄来的?

545
00:22:55,168 --> 00:22:56,084
‪你猜怎么着?

546
00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:57,876
‪这都是考验 真的有宝藏吗?

547
00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:00,084
‪这次你也无法赢得那个女孩的芳心

548
00:23:00,084 --> 00:23:02,251
‪露西根本不在乎黄金

549
00:23:02,251 --> 00:23:05,751
‪她只在乎你是不是好人

550
00:23:05,751 --> 00:23:08,459
‪可你...不是

551
00:23:11,418 --> 00:23:14,126
‪好吧 我想我不再需要这个了

552
00:23:15,543 --> 00:23:16,501
‪别扔!

553
00:23:17,793 --> 00:23:18,709
‪搞什么...

554
00:23:21,959 --> 00:23:24,209
‪这里好像有扇门

555
00:23:24,209 --> 00:23:27,959
‪我们用本富兰克林的眼镜找到的!

556
00:23:27,959 --> 00:23:30,043
‪(平价鞋店)

557
00:23:30,043 --> 00:23:32,251
‪这里很不错

558
00:23:32,834 --> 00:23:33,918
‪这是哪里来的?

559
00:23:33,918 --> 00:23:35,959
‪我不知道 我睡觉很沉

560
00:23:35,959 --> 00:23:39,793
‪所以我在遗嘱里注明了
‪把我跟三明治一起埋了 以防万一

561
00:23:40,793 --> 00:23:42,251
‪“跟着钱走”

562
00:23:48,293 --> 00:23:51,126
‪赵先生 关于我们之前的谈话

563
00:23:51,126 --> 00:23:52,751
‪快把豆子撒出来吧

564
00:23:52,751 --> 00:23:55,834
‪我喜欢在地上爬 叭嗒叭嗒地吃豆子

565
00:23:56,501 --> 00:23:57,959
‪别说是我告诉你的

566
00:23:57,959 --> 00:24:00,668
‪但总统和第一夫人的关系

567
00:24:00,668 --> 00:24:02,293
‪是假的

568
00:24:02,293 --> 00:24:04,418
‪我说的不是花式枕套

569
00:24:04,418 --> 00:24:05,334
‪希望不是

570
00:24:05,334 --> 00:24:08,876
‪那会很奇怪 但称不上是新闻

571
00:24:13,751 --> 00:24:16,501
‪如果国宝是真的 我会很生气

572
00:24:17,168 --> 00:24:20,834
‪我之前说蛇怕我...

573
00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:23,209
‪只对一部分蛇适用

574
00:24:25,584 --> 00:24:27,709
‪(美国总统印章)

575
00:24:34,459 --> 00:24:35,543
‪在你动手之前...

576
00:24:35,543 --> 00:24:36,959
‪-天啊!
‪-直立蛇!

577
00:24:36,959 --> 00:24:38,709
‪...请允许我解释一下

578
00:24:41,793 --> 00:24:43,459
‪莱文医生

579
00:24:43,459 --> 00:24:47,126
‪她是单身女郎 我行我素

580
00:24:47,126 --> 00:24:50,126
‪工作和约会男人

581
00:24:50,126 --> 00:24:53,126
‪然后是女孩之夜

582
00:24:53,126 --> 00:24:55,668
‪逛街、买鞋、做老大

583
00:24:55,668 --> 00:24:59,126
‪我想这个故事发生在90年代

584
00:24:59,126 --> 00:25:01,126
‪技艺精湛的牙医

585
00:25:01,126 --> 00:25:04,126
‪怎么会是爱情中的倒霉蛋?

586
00:25:04,126 --> 00:25:05,543
‪我不确定这符合事实

587
00:25:05,543 --> 00:25:10,126
‪这是一份网络笔记
‪我们在紧要关头屈服了

588
00:25:10,126 --> 00:25:13,126
‪工作时她会填满你的口腔

589
00:25:13,126 --> 00:25:15,501
‪并进行常规预防

590
00:25:15,501 --> 00:25:18,126
‪但她的约会生活不是悲剧

591
00:25:18,126 --> 00:25:22,126
‪就是彻头彻尾的疯狂

592
00:25:22,126 --> 00:25:24,126
‪莱文医生

593
00:25:24,126 --> 00:25:27,126
‪梦想成真 她拥有一切

594
00:25:27,126 --> 00:25:30,126
‪-她不需要选择
‪-不需要选择

595
00:25:30,126 --> 00:25:33,043
‪-她知道自己不能输
‪-她知道自己不能输

596
00:25:33,043 --> 00:25:35,168
{\an8}‪她是莱文医生

597
00:25:35,168 --> 00:25:40,126
{\an8}‪她拥有一切

598
00:25:40,126 --> 00:25:42,126
‪字幕翻译:肖雪