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00:00:06,668 --> 00:00:08,959
[upbeat music playing]
2
00:00:09,668 --> 00:00:12,918
The Wonder Team can't be beat ♪
3
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♪ Keeping evildoers off the street... ♪
4
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I'm Reverse Wolverine.
5
00:00:18,043 --> 00:00:19,959
I heal real slow.
6
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I'm Polka Dot.
7
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I've got blotches!
8
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Professor Bendy at your service.
9
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:27,709
Ow!
10
00:00:28,501 --> 00:00:31,418
♪ They got powers from the aliens-- ♪
11
00:00:31,418 --> 00:00:32,543
[Dr. Braun] No, you didn't. Stop.
12
00:00:32,543 --> 00:00:35,334
You are suffering
from serious vitamin deficiencies.
13
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Scurvy, rickets, anemia, beriberi...
14
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Is that what gave us powers?
15
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Nope, you don't have powers.
16
00:00:41,168 --> 00:00:44,418
But a severe B12 deficiency
can lead to psychosis,
17
00:00:44,418 --> 00:00:46,793
which might explain
the voices you're hearing.
18
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♪ Don't listen to her
She's jealous of your powers ♪
19
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Cut it out. This is serious.
20
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You people need fruits and vegetables,
21
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and I don't mean my ex-husbands.
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{\an8}♪ Dr. Levine ♪
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♪ Living the dream
She's having it all-- ♪
24
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[theme music playing]
25
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{\an8}[Jayson chuckling evilly]
26
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{\an8}Cowherd, go back to Madame Tussauds
and bring me back all the Biebers.
27
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{\an8}General, we need a truck.
28
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{\an8}[Jayson] Not happening.
29
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{\an8}I got one truck left with gas in it.
30
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{\an8}It's a matter of national security.
31
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{\an8}There's no fruit!
32
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{\an8}I haven't bathroomed in so long.
33
00:01:28,626 --> 00:01:30,543
{\an8}It's like when I got sent home
from summer camp.
34
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{\an8}There's a seed vault
in Beltsville, Maryland--
35
00:01:33,334 --> 00:01:34,751
{\an8}And seeds grow into plants.
36
00:01:34,751 --> 00:01:37,251
{\an8}I wrote the book report on plants, Doctor.
37
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The president said we could use a truck.
38
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I'm lying!
39
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My skin feels hot from lying.
He didn't say that.
40
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A truck for seeds? No!
41
00:01:44,793 --> 00:01:46,334
We just need it for a few hours.
42
00:01:46,334 --> 00:01:48,709
What do seeds need to be
in a vault for anyway?
43
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,709
Who's gonna steal seeds?
44
00:01:50,709 --> 00:01:52,376
Bird bank robbers.
45
00:01:52,376 --> 00:01:55,418
Ocean's Eleven but with birds.
46
00:01:55,418 --> 00:01:56,918
Bank Robins!
47
00:01:56,918 --> 00:01:59,168
[laughs] We gotta make that!
48
00:01:59,168 --> 00:02:02,168
He went on to act out the whole movie.
It wasn't bad.
49
00:02:02,168 --> 00:02:05,168
Look, the president needs the truck,
and I can't tell you how come.
50
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:07,168
He made me cross my heart, man,
51
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,876
and I'm not looking to die.
52
00:02:08,876 --> 00:02:11,668
Jesus, everyone knows he's looking for
the national treasure
53
00:02:11,668 --> 00:02:13,084
from that Nicolas Cage movie.
54
00:02:13,084 --> 00:02:16,918
I'm just over here,
admiring this regular fireplace
55
00:02:16,918 --> 00:02:19,834
with Ben Franklin's glasses,
'cause fashion reasons.
56
00:02:19,834 --> 00:02:21,751
Yeah, not looking for anything.
57
00:02:21,751 --> 00:02:24,751
Come on, where is that treasure?
58
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Uh, Treasure's my dog's name.
59
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Here, Treasure!
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- [Treasure barks]
- Wait, what? [grunts]
61
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Okay, okay, okay.
62
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If only he cared about our food supply
63
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as much as he cares about
a fake treasure from a movie
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that is so full
of historical inaccuracies.
65
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It may as well be Amadeus.
66
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Mozart and Salieri were cordial.
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We should have told him
the national treasure was in Beltsville.
68
00:02:44,626 --> 00:02:47,959
Or we trick him
and have him lead us there?
69
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,834
The president wants a treasure hunt?
70
00:02:49,834 --> 00:02:51,626
Let's give him one.
71
00:02:51,626 --> 00:02:54,001
[Matty grunts, exhales]
72
00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:56,626
- Where is that stupid treasure?
- [Treasure barks]
73
00:02:56,626 --> 00:02:59,168
All right. Right, right, right.
I gotta change your name.
74
00:02:59,168 --> 00:03:00,668
What's a good name for a dog?
75
00:03:00,668 --> 00:03:01,584
Mr. President?
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No, that's my name. Don't learn that.
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[Treasure groans, pants]
78
00:03:06,293 --> 00:03:08,459
- [Matty scoffs]
- We need to speak with you.
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It's about the national treasure.
80
00:03:10,626 --> 00:03:11,918
[dramatic sting]
81
00:03:11,918 --> 00:03:14,084
I knew it! It's real!
82
00:03:14,084 --> 00:03:18,001
Yep, there's a treasure that has been
amassed since the times of Ancient Egypt.
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00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:20,334
It weighs thousands of tons
84
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:24,543
but has traveled around undetected
for the last 4,000 years.
85
00:03:24,543 --> 00:03:26,876
What about
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets?
86
00:03:26,876 --> 00:03:28,668
Is there a president's book of secrets?
87
00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:29,584
No, that's idiotic!
88
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,459
I will not tell you
Mount Rushmore was carved
89
00:03:31,459 --> 00:03:33,751
to protect yet another treasure.
I won't do it.
90
00:03:33,751 --> 00:03:36,918
Okay, the important thing
is the first treasure's real.
91
00:03:36,918 --> 00:03:38,751
Simon knows all about it
92
00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:41,834
because he comes from a long line
of treasure protectors.
93
00:03:41,834 --> 00:03:43,751
That's why you care about history.
94
00:03:44,293 --> 00:03:46,001
But what's Braun doing here?
95
00:03:46,001 --> 00:03:48,293
Is she, like, Justin Bartha's mom, or...
96
00:03:48,293 --> 00:03:50,959
Dr. Braun is... my sidekick.
97
00:03:50,959 --> 00:03:53,043
Does she have fun catchphrases?
98
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:56,251
Bingo-boingo, pass the taters!
99
00:03:56,251 --> 00:03:58,126
[chuckles] Oh yeah.
100
00:03:58,126 --> 00:03:59,376
Okay, you're in.
101
00:03:59,376 --> 00:04:02,334
So this is the key
to finding the treasure.
102
00:04:02,334 --> 00:04:04,876
My father's diary.
103
00:04:04,876 --> 00:04:07,584
His what? Was your dad a teenage girl?
104
00:04:07,584 --> 00:04:11,376
"Dear Diary,
I have a total crush on my son's mom."
105
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:15,209
"Work was fun today.
We learned about business."
106
00:04:15,209 --> 00:04:18,001
[chuckles]
107
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{\an8}Cool. Anyway,
his journal is full of clues.
108
00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:25,001
And I bet it says the first clue
is on the Declaration of Independence.
109
00:04:25,001 --> 00:04:25,918
- What?
- Amazing.
110
00:04:25,918 --> 00:04:26,959
Of course.
111
00:04:26,959 --> 00:04:31,209
"Phew, eel poet"
is an anagram of "We, the people."
112
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- Like in the Declaration--
- Of Independence.
113
00:04:34,584 --> 00:04:37,501
- Let's go. We'll take Truck Force One.
- [action music plays]
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Wrong way. Follow me.
115
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[LaMarr] So I told John Bolton,
116
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"Boy, you better grow a mustache,
117
00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:46,793
'cause that is the worst
damn lip tattoo I've ever seen."
118
00:04:46,793 --> 00:04:49,584
Did you know the president left,
and no one knows where he went?
119
00:04:49,584 --> 00:04:52,876
[TOD-209] He said he was going
to regular president places.
120
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,959
"Jeez, TOD, you're not my mom."
121
00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:57,668
- Well, then who have I been talking to?
- [dramatic music sting]
122
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Bueller!
123
00:04:58,751 --> 00:05:00,084
This ducking sucks!
124
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,126
Oh. That's what my phone
used to correct it to.
125
00:05:03,126 --> 00:05:05,584
Matty was gonna be, like,
the highlight of my tour.
126
00:05:05,584 --> 00:05:07,168
[TOD-209] TOD did tour.
127
00:05:07,168 --> 00:05:08,918
- Helmand Province.
- [rocket whistling]
128
00:05:08,918 --> 00:05:11,376
I invited a group of teens
to visit the White House.
129
00:05:11,376 --> 00:05:12,793
My new cause is teens.
130
00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:14,626
I got the idea while counting to 20.
131
00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:16,793
I don't know why
you'd invite teenagers here.
132
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The only thing they're good for
is buying cigarettes, but not alcohol,
133
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and going to war, but not voting.
134
00:05:21,251 --> 00:05:23,876
Being a kid was hard enough
before Splody Times,
135
00:05:23,876 --> 00:05:26,001
and now I just want them
to have good role models
136
00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:28,918
so they don't end up like Irstenkay.
137
00:05:28,918 --> 00:05:30,251
Are you talking about me?
138
00:05:30,251 --> 00:05:32,668
{\an8}No, Kirsten, she's talking about me!
139
00:05:32,668 --> 00:05:34,418
{\an8}Say it to my face, bitch!
140
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:38,001
I hate this job,
I hate my dad for getting me this job,
141
00:05:38,001 --> 00:05:39,751
and I need to leave early today.
142
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God!
143
00:05:41,084 --> 00:05:44,293
No, honey, I was talking about
a different Irstenkay.
144
00:05:44,293 --> 00:05:45,418
[uplifting music plays]
145
00:05:45,418 --> 00:05:47,543
♪ God save our gracious me ♪
146
00:05:47,543 --> 00:05:49,376
♪ Long live our noble me ♪
147
00:05:49,376 --> 00:05:52,834
♪ God save the me ♪
148
00:05:52,834 --> 00:05:55,668
Oh, Mr. Zhao,
to what do we owe the pleasure?
149
00:05:55,668 --> 00:05:57,543
Slow news day, Your Majesty.
150
00:05:57,543 --> 00:06:00,793
And we've run out of stories
about unlikely animal friendships.
151
00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:04,209
- We're down to unlikely animal frenemies.
- [penguin] Hmm!
152
00:06:04,209 --> 00:06:07,876
You know, I went
to a boarding school in the UK.
153
00:06:07,876 --> 00:06:09,959
Listen to the way I say "aluminium."
154
00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:11,459
It's ridiculous.
155
00:06:11,459 --> 00:06:15,126
And in England, the newspapers
and the royal family are like this.
156
00:06:15,126 --> 00:06:17,376
Uh, like th...
157
00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:19,293
My fingers are too chubby to interlace.
158
00:06:19,293 --> 00:06:21,376
It's a sign of great wealth,
so it's aspirational.
159
00:06:21,376 --> 00:06:23,251
So, what hot goss you got for me?
160
00:06:23,251 --> 00:06:26,084
You know why the president
tore out of here this morning in a lorry?
161
00:06:26,084 --> 00:06:28,501
Man, when I'm around my chums,
my accent sure comes back.
162
00:06:28,501 --> 00:06:30,334
The president isn't home?
163
00:06:30,334 --> 00:06:31,626
Maybe he's having an affair.
164
00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:33,126
How's this headline?
165
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,084
"Prezzo Getting Schmezzo."
166
00:06:35,084 --> 00:06:37,084
Is "schmezzo" slang for anything?
167
00:06:37,084 --> 00:06:40,418
What? No, never.
An... An affair in the White House?
168
00:06:40,418 --> 00:06:41,668
Pshawford!
169
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:44,209
- The more formal version of "pshaw."
- [dramatic sting]
170
00:06:44,209 --> 00:06:46,709
Well, I don't know
what we're gonna yell about today.
171
00:06:46,709 --> 00:06:48,251
How about the food shortage?
172
00:06:48,251 --> 00:06:49,584
What's sexy about that?
173
00:06:49,584 --> 00:06:50,501
Nothing.
174
00:06:50,501 --> 00:06:53,543
I've... I've lost some weight, but nothing.
175
00:06:54,751 --> 00:06:58,751
[inspirational music playing]
176
00:07:03,418 --> 00:07:05,834
Other presidents,
they just sit on their ass.
177
00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:08,668
I mean, FDR, he didn't even bother
to stand up for his sculpture.
178
00:07:08,668 --> 00:07:09,876
He used a wheelchair.
179
00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:11,376
But I do stuff.
180
00:07:11,376 --> 00:07:14,626
People are gonna be psyched when I come
back with a truck full of treasure,
181
00:07:14,626 --> 00:07:16,126
especially Lucy.
182
00:07:16,126 --> 00:07:19,251
Let me tell you something,
women want three things.
183
00:07:19,251 --> 00:07:20,793
Off-menu Dunkin' items,
184
00:07:20,793 --> 00:07:22,584
noticing when their hair's different,
185
00:07:22,584 --> 00:07:23,709
and jewelry.
186
00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:25,543
Wow, quit making me horny.
187
00:07:25,543 --> 00:07:27,793
Huh. I don't see any clues on here,
188
00:07:27,793 --> 00:07:30,043
and I'm wearing
the very best modern glasses.
189
00:07:30,043 --> 00:07:31,251
Guess we should give up.
190
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:33,793
Or the problem is your glasses.
191
00:07:34,876 --> 00:07:36,293
[Matty groans]
192
00:07:36,293 --> 00:07:38,918
Hang on, I can see
a light shining on one of the names.
193
00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:41,376
Wow, it must be the dawn's early light.
194
00:07:41,376 --> 00:07:42,918
Like in that song.
195
00:07:42,918 --> 00:07:45,418
But who's Stephen Hopkins?
196
00:07:45,418 --> 00:07:47,834
- Huh.
- Hopkins was from Rhode Island.
197
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,251
Hopkins...
198
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,876
"Hop," bunny.
199
00:07:50,876 --> 00:07:52,959
"Kins," relative.
200
00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:54,251
Bunny relative.
201
00:07:54,251 --> 00:07:55,209
Kangaroo.
202
00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:56,584
The treasure's in Australia!
203
00:07:56,584 --> 00:08:00,293
Mmm, and Australia is exactly
on the other side of the world from...?
204
00:08:00,293 --> 00:08:01,834
[gasps] Rhode Island!
205
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:03,959
Which has the word "road" in it.
206
00:08:03,959 --> 00:08:06,834
And also "island," like Australia!
207
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:10,584
And there's a road called
Rhode Island Avenue right here in D.C.!
208
00:08:10,584 --> 00:08:11,751
Great job, sir.
209
00:08:11,751 --> 00:08:13,834
Hey, I'm basically Indiana Jones,
210
00:08:13,834 --> 00:08:15,959
except snakes are afraid of me,
211
00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:19,459
and when my dad gets kidnapped,
the family does nothing.
212
00:08:19,459 --> 00:08:21,501
[whimsical music plays]
213
00:08:22,834 --> 00:08:24,668
The president is missing.
214
00:08:24,668 --> 00:08:26,543
That means I'm in charge.
215
00:08:28,334 --> 00:08:31,751
That means I'm in charge.
216
00:08:31,751 --> 00:08:33,709
♪ Hail to the me, hey! ♪
217
00:08:33,709 --> 00:08:35,209
Now the song's got lyrics ♪
218
00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:38,834
♪ And they're in English
'Cause Spanish is illegal now ♪
219
00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:41,251
- I can't stop!
- [springs squeaking]
220
00:08:41,251 --> 00:08:42,584
♪ President's the dream ♪
221
00:08:42,584 --> 00:08:44,959
- ♪ It's the dream I've always dreamed of ♪
- [LaMarr screams]
222
00:08:45,543 --> 00:08:47,376
[continues screaming]
223
00:08:47,376 --> 00:08:48,459
Now I'm so clean ♪
224
00:08:48,459 --> 00:08:50,751
It's the clean I've always cleaned of ♪
225
00:08:51,626 --> 00:08:53,543
[screams]
226
00:08:53,543 --> 00:08:56,876
♪ This is my house
And I have to defend it ♪
227
00:08:57,709 --> 00:08:59,126
- [both men grunt]
- Cool.
228
00:08:59,959 --> 00:09:01,293
[music crescendos]
229
00:09:04,918 --> 00:09:08,293
[LaMarr whistling tune]
230
00:09:08,293 --> 00:09:10,334
- [mechanical whirring]
- [LaMarr] Yeah, uh...
231
00:09:10,334 --> 00:09:13,251
I always dreamed
of sitting behind this desk
232
00:09:13,251 --> 00:09:15,418
ever since I was in short pants,
233
00:09:15,418 --> 00:09:16,959
and I do mean short.
234
00:09:16,959 --> 00:09:17,959
[TOD-209] Dream.
235
00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:20,084
TOD have dreams?
236
00:09:20,084 --> 00:09:21,084
[piano plays]
237
00:09:21,084 --> 00:09:23,751
[whooshing]
238
00:09:24,543 --> 00:09:25,459
[indistinct chatter]
239
00:09:25,459 --> 00:09:27,043
[LaMarr] But the Bible says
240
00:09:27,043 --> 00:09:30,084
a boy's knobby legs
are his crown and glory.
241
00:09:30,084 --> 00:09:31,876
Son, are you even listening?
242
00:09:31,876 --> 00:09:32,834
[TOD-209] Yes.
243
00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:33,793
Dream.
244
00:09:36,251 --> 00:09:37,501
- [squelch]
- Ugh.
245
00:09:37,501 --> 00:09:40,168
Oh, come on, have some respect.
246
00:09:40,168 --> 00:09:42,043
This desk used to be a boat.
247
00:09:42,043 --> 00:09:43,168
[whimsical music plays]
248
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:48,126
What in Kid Nation?
249
00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:51,251
Well, purple my nurple.
250
00:09:51,251 --> 00:09:54,293
- It's the president's book of secrets.
- [dramatic music plays]
251
00:09:54,876 --> 00:09:56,126
[Lucy] What up, fam?
252
00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:58,626
First Lady in the Whiz House!
253
00:09:58,626 --> 00:09:59,959
That's White House,
254
00:09:59,959 --> 00:10:01,668
not, like, toilet house.
255
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:04,251
It's the president's house,
although he's not actually here.
256
00:10:04,251 --> 00:10:05,376
- [Jabir] What?
- [all groan]
257
00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:06,876
You can't do that to us.
258
00:10:06,876 --> 00:10:08,209
We're Generation Splode.
259
00:10:08,209 --> 00:10:10,251
We have abandonment issues
for some reason.
260
00:10:10,251 --> 00:10:14,043
Well, even without him,
this tour is gonna be totally schmezzo!
261
00:10:14,043 --> 00:10:15,501
That's not how you use "schmezzo."
262
00:10:15,501 --> 00:10:16,584
Will there be stairs?
263
00:10:16,584 --> 00:10:18,584
'Cause my bones hurt
from not having calcium.
264
00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:19,918
- [knocks on door]
- [Lucy gasps]
265
00:10:19,918 --> 00:10:21,501
Conk-a-choo, conk-a-choo.
266
00:10:21,501 --> 00:10:23,251
That's how we say
"knock, knock" in England.
267
00:10:23,251 --> 00:10:26,084
Jeremy, uh, this is not a good time.
I'm giving a tour--
268
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,084
[scoffs] And she's so bad at it.
269
00:10:28,084 --> 00:10:29,501
Oh well, perhaps I can help.
270
00:10:29,501 --> 00:10:32,668
After all, do you know
what well-behaved tour groups get?
271
00:10:32,668 --> 00:10:34,084
Knighted.
272
00:10:34,084 --> 00:10:37,376
[teens cheering]
273
00:10:37,376 --> 00:10:41,251
Fun fact, the White House
used to have floor-to-ceiling walls.
274
00:10:41,251 --> 00:10:45,084
But this is not the first time
the White House has suffered damage.
275
00:10:45,084 --> 00:10:47,084
It was burned in 1814
276
00:10:47,084 --> 00:10:50,001
by, I'm sorry to say, the British.
277
00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:53,126
But now our countries enjoy
a friendly relationship.
278
00:10:53,126 --> 00:10:55,584
Sometimes very friendly.
279
00:10:55,584 --> 00:10:57,418
Why'd you say "friendly" like that?
280
00:10:57,418 --> 00:11:00,293
'Cause they definitely hooked up.
281
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,001
What? No, we're friends.
282
00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:03,376
I mean, truly.
283
00:11:03,376 --> 00:11:06,084
Since when does friendly
mean anything sexual?
284
00:11:06,084 --> 00:11:09,584
[both chuckle awkwardly]
285
00:11:09,584 --> 00:11:12,918
Anyway, our next stop
is the White House swimming pool.
286
00:11:12,918 --> 00:11:15,418
Fun fact, it is now full of lizards.
287
00:11:15,418 --> 00:11:16,751
[heroic music plays]
288
00:11:16,751 --> 00:11:17,959
[Matty] Which way do we go?
289
00:11:17,959 --> 00:11:19,543
Or... Or is it a trick?
290
00:11:19,543 --> 00:11:21,584
Maybe we go north.
291
00:11:21,584 --> 00:11:23,501
Do you think north is up?
292
00:11:23,501 --> 00:11:26,209
Uh, yeah. Look at a map, Doctor.
293
00:11:26,209 --> 00:11:28,709
I found something
in that Masonic graveyard.
294
00:11:28,709 --> 00:11:30,251
Sonic graveyard, yeah.
295
00:11:30,834 --> 00:11:33,001
Those gravestones
appear to form a pattern.
296
00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:36,709
We gotta get up high. You always
gotta get up high for these things.
297
00:11:36,709 --> 00:11:38,501
Ah, I think we can see it from here.
298
00:11:38,501 --> 00:11:41,418
Is thinking a sidekick's job or...?
299
00:11:41,418 --> 00:11:43,543
Bingo, boingo, that's a spicy meat-a-ball!
300
00:11:43,543 --> 00:11:47,876
I like it, but, yeah, I don't know
if you can make those jokes anymore.
301
00:11:47,876 --> 00:11:49,709
Now, how can we get north?
302
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:50,876
[Dr. Braun straining]
303
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,209
Why am I on the bottom?!
304
00:11:52,209 --> 00:11:55,043
- It's in order of importance.
- Can we just look at the shape?!
305
00:11:55,043 --> 00:11:57,876
Well, it looks like a stick man,
but his head got cut off,
306
00:11:57,876 --> 00:11:59,459
and he doesn't have any legs or shoes.
307
00:11:59,459 --> 00:12:01,501
Sounds like you're describing
an arrow, sir.
308
00:12:04,251 --> 00:12:05,626
{\an8}Exactly.
309
00:12:05,626 --> 00:12:07,168
To the truck!
310
00:12:08,334 --> 00:12:09,668
Ah, man!
311
00:12:09,668 --> 00:12:10,584
[Matty gasps]
312
00:12:10,584 --> 00:12:12,418
There's a Frisbee on that roof.
313
00:12:12,418 --> 00:12:13,543
Braun, jump!
314
00:12:13,543 --> 00:12:14,876
{\an8}It's all in here.
315
00:12:14,876 --> 00:12:18,751
{\an8}Every backroom deal,
all five Kennedy assassinations.
316
00:12:18,751 --> 00:12:21,001
{\an8}[gasps] Aliens are real.
317
00:12:21,501 --> 00:12:22,626
{\an8}I did know that.
318
00:12:22,626 --> 00:12:24,251
{\an8}To me, you're the alien.
319
00:12:25,918 --> 00:12:30,084
1988. The first time I threw my hat
in the ring to be prezzo.
320
00:12:30,084 --> 00:12:31,001
[harp glissando]
321
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,209
We need someone with experience.
322
00:12:33,209 --> 00:12:34,668
Someone who can get things done.
323
00:12:34,668 --> 00:12:36,751
Someone like George Bush.
324
00:12:36,751 --> 00:12:38,834
Of course, sir. I'll wait my turn.
325
00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:40,918
[whimsical music plays]
326
00:12:40,918 --> 00:12:42,334
[harp glissando]
327
00:12:43,626 --> 00:12:46,376
We need someone with no experience.
328
00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:48,668
Someone who can't get anything done.
329
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,501
- Someone like George Bush.
- [bubbling]
330
00:12:50,501 --> 00:12:53,084
Of course, sir. I'll wait my turn.
331
00:12:53,834 --> 00:12:56,126
God, when's he gonna get the hint?
332
00:12:56,668 --> 00:12:58,043
[harp glissando]
333
00:12:58,043 --> 00:13:00,418
[patriotic music playing]
334
00:13:01,126 --> 00:13:02,876
[through electro-larynx] We need someone.
335
00:13:02,876 --> 00:13:04,751
Someone like Jeb Bush.
336
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:08,334
[sighs] Of course, sir. I'll wait my turn.
337
00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:09,834
[lighter clicks]
338
00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:12,334
That old hick
can't win a national election.
339
00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:13,751
Who'd want to get a beer with him?
340
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,251
People just don't like LaMarr.
341
00:13:16,251 --> 00:13:17,876
And I don't blame them.
342
00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:19,251
He's creepy.
343
00:13:19,251 --> 00:13:20,834
What a loser.
344
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:24,584
[all laughing hysterically]
345
00:13:24,584 --> 00:13:27,959
[echoing] I'd never get a beer with him!
346
00:13:27,959 --> 00:13:28,918
[Axatrax] Oh!
347
00:13:28,918 --> 00:13:31,918
{\an8}I remember that look
from my human emotions flashcards.
348
00:13:31,918 --> 00:13:35,709
You just learned that everybody
you respected secretly despised you.
349
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:38,293
{\an8}Now you're mad at something green.
350
00:13:38,293 --> 00:13:41,876
{\an8}Now you're amazed by the specificity
of someone's flashcards.
351
00:13:41,876 --> 00:13:43,876
[adventurous music plays]
352
00:13:44,918 --> 00:13:47,209
Not sure why that was a sidekick job.
353
00:13:47,209 --> 00:13:49,876
Seems like the hero is the one
who climbs into wells. [chuckles]
354
00:13:49,876 --> 00:13:51,751
I would've, but what if there were snakes?
355
00:13:51,751 --> 00:13:53,043
I could've scared them.
356
00:13:53,043 --> 00:13:55,418
Well, there were snakes, so good call.
357
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:58,501
{\an8}So, Farrah, you find anything
in George Washington's well?
358
00:13:58,501 --> 00:14:00,668
Just this old tankard.
359
00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:02,668
A Revolutionary-era beer stein?
360
00:14:02,668 --> 00:14:04,209
Whom did this belong to?
361
00:14:04,209 --> 00:14:06,251
Are there any brewer Patriots?
362
00:14:06,251 --> 00:14:08,251
Sam Adams! That's on the bottle!
363
00:14:08,251 --> 00:14:11,126
But why hide it near this right-hand turn?
364
00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:13,626
I mean, Adams was right-handed.
365
00:14:13,626 --> 00:14:16,876
No, he wasn't. On the bottle,
he's holding a beer with his left hand.
366
00:14:16,876 --> 00:14:19,084
Is... Is that... Huh.
367
00:14:19,084 --> 00:14:20,168
Well, uh...
368
00:14:20,168 --> 00:14:22,751
I think what Simon is trying to say
369
00:14:22,751 --> 00:14:25,251
is that what you can't see on the bottle
370
00:14:25,251 --> 00:14:28,418
is that he also has a beer
in his right hand, so...
371
00:14:28,418 --> 00:14:30,293
He's double-fisting!
372
00:14:30,293 --> 00:14:32,876
Because he's from Boston,
and he's awesome.
373
00:14:32,876 --> 00:14:35,668
[chuckles] So he is right-handed.
374
00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:38,001
And we're turning right, sidekick.
375
00:14:38,001 --> 00:14:39,918
Right on, boss.
376
00:14:39,918 --> 00:14:42,126
Okay. B-minus, but I like the energy.
377
00:14:42,126 --> 00:14:43,209
[scoffs]
378
00:14:44,209 --> 00:14:46,126
Man, this is going good.
379
00:14:46,126 --> 00:14:48,793
To be honest, I wasn't sure
you guys should come with me,
380
00:14:48,793 --> 00:14:50,709
'cause I'm kind of a lone woof.
381
00:14:50,709 --> 00:14:51,668
Did you say "woof"?
382
00:14:51,668 --> 00:14:54,668
Yeah, like one doggie bark, you know?
All alone. Where's his friends?
383
00:14:54,668 --> 00:14:57,584
- [engine turns over]
- That's me because I don't always love...
384
00:14:57,584 --> 00:15:00,043
What's it called?
When a bunch of people work together?
385
00:15:00,043 --> 00:15:01,668
Pretty sure there's, like, an "I" in it.
386
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:02,584
A Troika?
387
00:15:02,584 --> 00:15:05,418
I think the word
you're looking for is "team."
388
00:15:05,418 --> 00:15:06,584
Didn't you play baseball?
389
00:15:06,584 --> 00:15:08,876
Yeah, and my teammates were the worst.
390
00:15:08,876 --> 00:15:11,209
A bunch of grade-A liquid farts.
391
00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:13,751
This one game, we were one hit away
392
00:15:13,751 --> 00:15:16,126
from winning
the Lobster Pot League World Series
393
00:15:16,126 --> 00:15:17,959
Brought to you
by the Christmas Tree Stores
394
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,376
against the hated Nashua Land Clams...
395
00:15:20,376 --> 00:15:21,376
[Simon] The what?
396
00:15:21,376 --> 00:15:24,209
[Matty] ...and my freakin' manager
signals bunt.
397
00:15:24,209 --> 00:15:25,709
I had the pitcher's number.
398
00:15:25,709 --> 00:15:27,709
I knew when the heat was coming.
399
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:30,626
I wasn't about to bunt
with Maddie Madigan in the stands.
400
00:15:30,626 --> 00:15:32,293
I'd just gotten the DNA test back,
401
00:15:32,293 --> 00:15:34,626
and we weren't related, so it was on.
402
00:15:34,626 --> 00:15:37,459
[mascot] Bunt, cocksucka!
I'll kiss you on the mouth!
403
00:15:37,459 --> 00:15:38,918
That's against hooker rules.
404
00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:41,084
[uplifting music playing]
405
00:15:42,668 --> 00:15:44,876
[dramatic music playing]
406
00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:51,168
[crowd] Aw.
407
00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:54,251
[umpire] Game over! Sea Pigs lose!
408
00:15:54,251 --> 00:15:56,084
[crowd] Boo!
409
00:15:56,084 --> 00:15:57,251
No, put me down!
410
00:15:57,251 --> 00:15:59,918
I don't need your help!
I can do it myself!
411
00:16:01,084 --> 00:16:03,459
If they'd just listened to me,
we would have won,
412
00:16:03,459 --> 00:16:06,168
and we would have been
the guests of honor at that amusement park
413
00:16:06,168 --> 00:16:08,168
and died in that roller coaster explosion.
414
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,126
And I would have gone home
with Maddie Madigan
415
00:16:10,126 --> 00:16:12,626
instead of walking in on her
with a Land Clam.
416
00:16:12,626 --> 00:16:14,376
Right, that's the takeaway.
417
00:16:14,376 --> 00:16:16,168
Everyone else was a bad teammate.
418
00:16:16,168 --> 00:16:18,001
But this works. Why?
419
00:16:18,001 --> 00:16:20,793
'Cause finally, Matty's calling the shots.
420
00:16:20,793 --> 00:16:24,168
Um, sir? Looks like
the bridge up ahead is collapsed.
421
00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:26,084
Team decision! We're jumping it!
422
00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:27,793
[Simon and Dr. Braun] No!
423
00:16:27,793 --> 00:16:28,918
[Simon] Oh no!
424
00:16:28,918 --> 00:16:31,668
[gentle music playing]
425
00:16:33,543 --> 00:16:35,501
- [LaMarr sighs]
- This is the solarium,
426
00:16:35,501 --> 00:16:38,876
which is just a fancy word
for soul aquarium.
427
00:16:38,876 --> 00:16:41,418
Mr. LaMarr, uh, you remember King Jeremy.
428
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,959
He's just taking Matty's place.
429
00:16:42,959 --> 00:16:44,334
On the tour, that's all.
430
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:45,876
I'm only here to help with the tour.
431
00:16:45,876 --> 00:16:49,251
Nothing more and absolutely nothing less.
432
00:16:49,251 --> 00:16:51,584
And you all must be our young visitors.
433
00:16:51,584 --> 00:16:54,334
You know, you kids
are our greatest natural resource,
434
00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:56,376
because someday, you'll turn into oil.
435
00:16:56,376 --> 00:16:58,709
Mr. LaMarr is the vice president.
436
00:16:58,709 --> 00:17:01,251
But you're way older than the other dude.
Why aren't you president?
437
00:17:01,251 --> 00:17:02,418
Well, I could've been.
438
00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:04,501
I mean, I'm plenty likable.
439
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:06,376
You all can see me
as the president, right?
440
00:17:06,376 --> 00:17:08,876
Mmm, maybe the president's dad.
441
00:17:08,876 --> 00:17:10,001
That's what he looks like.
442
00:17:10,001 --> 00:17:11,876
No, dads are lame.
443
00:17:11,876 --> 00:17:13,001
Boo parents.
444
00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:15,918
See, youngsters... I mean, dudes, I'm cool.
445
00:17:15,918 --> 00:17:17,584
Everyone wants to have a beer with me.
446
00:17:18,251 --> 00:17:19,751
You... You kids like TV?
447
00:17:19,751 --> 00:17:23,209
I was on C-SPAN's
first and last reality show.
448
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:28,084
{\an8}I'm Cartwright LaMarr,
and I don't know how this part works.
449
00:17:28,668 --> 00:17:30,918
You know, I won season 38 of Love Island
450
00:17:30,918 --> 00:17:33,668
because everyone else was in the pool
during the lightning storm.
451
00:17:33,668 --> 00:17:36,584
Say, how'd you kids
like to see something kooky?
452
00:17:36,584 --> 00:17:40,251
- Something they won't show you.
- [dramatic music swells]
453
00:17:40,834 --> 00:17:42,751
[truck squeaking]
454
00:17:42,751 --> 00:17:44,793
[engine clunks, hisses]
455
00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:48,043
- [Dr. Braun chuckles] We made it.
- [Simon grunts, sighs]
456
00:17:48,043 --> 00:17:49,459
This has gotta be it.
457
00:17:49,459 --> 00:17:52,709
"When the road ends,
you'll be happy as an orange
458
00:17:52,709 --> 00:17:54,959
because this building
is the treasure storage."
459
00:17:54,959 --> 00:17:56,626
Boy, those, uh, Freemasons
460
00:17:56,626 --> 00:17:59,084
sure painted themselves
into a corner there with "orange."
461
00:17:59,084 --> 00:18:01,668
Well, maybe they were pressed for time
and writing in pen, Farrah.
462
00:18:01,668 --> 00:18:03,751
Let's not get hung up
on the really bad rhymes.
463
00:18:03,751 --> 00:18:05,418
They still got us to the treasure.
464
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,459
Good work, team,
465
00:18:06,459 --> 00:18:07,959
led by me, Matty.
466
00:18:07,959 --> 00:18:10,418
Your leadership
was the real treasure, boss.
467
00:18:10,418 --> 00:18:13,668
Fine line between side-kicking
and just kissing ass, Braun.
468
00:18:13,668 --> 00:18:16,126
You gotta ask yourself,
"What would Bartha do?"
469
00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:18,918
- [dramatic music playing]
- Beltsville?
470
00:18:18,918 --> 00:18:20,876
Where have I heard that before?
471
00:18:21,376 --> 00:18:22,626
[pigeons cooing]
472
00:18:23,209 --> 00:18:25,126
Gentlebirds, this is our target.
473
00:18:25,793 --> 00:18:27,001
The Beltsville seed vault.
474
00:18:28,626 --> 00:18:30,918
Braun's seed thing? She...
475
00:18:30,918 --> 00:18:33,876
Oh! Those grade-A liquid farts!
476
00:18:33,876 --> 00:18:37,001
You tadpoles like slime
and gross stuff, right?
477
00:18:37,001 --> 00:18:41,084
Well, feast your eyes on this freak show.
478
00:18:41,084 --> 00:18:42,084
[Axatrax humming]
479
00:18:42,084 --> 00:18:43,959
Now do you think I'm schmezzo?
480
00:18:43,959 --> 00:18:45,376
Uh, it's an alien.
481
00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:48,876
I see them in my nightmares,
like, every night.
482
00:18:48,876 --> 00:18:50,584
Well, but isn't he weird?
483
00:18:50,584 --> 00:18:54,084
I mean, look, he's got too many arms,
and a... a big pointy butt,
484
00:18:54,084 --> 00:18:57,834
and his... his legs are all herbity-jerbity
like a haunted old tree.
485
00:18:57,834 --> 00:18:59,376
Hey, I'm not weird-looking.
486
00:18:59,376 --> 00:19:00,668
When I was a teenager,
487
00:19:00,668 --> 00:19:03,251
a guy at the mall
asked me if I wanted to be a model.
488
00:19:03,251 --> 00:19:04,626
Yeah, don't body-shame him!
489
00:19:04,626 --> 00:19:08,501
You know, people only bully
because of their own insecurities.
490
00:19:08,501 --> 00:19:10,751
I am, too, likable!
491
00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:15,084
I'll have you know there's a photograph
in my office of me and Patricia Heaton.
492
00:19:15,084 --> 00:19:17,001
- [teens] Huh?
- Um, who's that?
493
00:19:17,001 --> 00:19:18,584
Lucy, I must confess,
494
00:19:18,584 --> 00:19:20,793
when I came over,
I knew Matty wasn't around,
495
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,584
and I was hoping we could talk.
496
00:19:22,584 --> 00:19:24,959
Um, okay. What do you wanna talk about?
497
00:19:24,959 --> 00:19:27,168
Talking? It's what
separates us from babies.
498
00:19:27,168 --> 00:19:28,876
I want to talk about us.
499
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,668
You can't deny we're great together,
500
00:19:30,668 --> 00:19:32,084
like gin and breakfast.
501
00:19:32,959 --> 00:19:37,168
Look, Jeremy, you're tall and fancy
and kind to animals.
502
00:19:37,168 --> 00:19:38,543
Any one of them could be a prince.
503
00:19:39,626 --> 00:19:41,376
But I can't be with you.
504
00:19:41,376 --> 00:19:42,459
Because of Matty?
505
00:19:42,459 --> 00:19:45,668
He couldn't even be bothered
to show up for your troubled teens,
506
00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:47,793
and look at how troubled they are.
507
00:19:47,793 --> 00:19:49,168
It's not Matty.
508
00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:52,376
If I tell you something,
do you promise not to tell anyone?
509
00:19:52,376 --> 00:19:53,293
Of course.
510
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,459
Over the years,
I have learned to say nothing
511
00:19:55,459 --> 00:19:57,459
because the music in nightclubs
is so loud.
512
00:19:57,459 --> 00:19:58,793
Me and Matty...
513
00:19:58,793 --> 00:20:01,001
[sighs] ...we're not really together.
514
00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,793
He just wants a pretty First Lady,
515
00:20:02,793 --> 00:20:05,751
and I wanna be First Lady so I can try
to make the world a better place.
516
00:20:05,751 --> 00:20:07,668
But you can do that as queen.
517
00:20:07,668 --> 00:20:10,126
Just think of the ships
that need christening.
518
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,293
Right now, they're all going to hell.
519
00:20:12,293 --> 00:20:14,751
But I can't do that to America.
520
00:20:14,751 --> 00:20:18,459
I don't think the country's in a place
where it could handle getting dumped.
521
00:20:18,459 --> 00:20:20,168
[gentle music playing]
522
00:20:20,168 --> 00:20:21,168
[tooth crackles]
523
00:20:24,543 --> 00:20:26,334
Something to remember me by,
524
00:20:27,168 --> 00:20:30,251
thanks to a quite savage
vitamin D deficiency.
525
00:20:30,251 --> 00:20:33,251
[noble music plays]
526
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,751
[Axatrax knocks] Kerchong, kerchong.
527
00:20:35,751 --> 00:20:38,793
That's how we say
conk-a-choo, conk-a-choo on Cardi-B.
528
00:20:38,793 --> 00:20:42,959
Axatrax, as a gentleman,
I suppose I owe you an apology
529
00:20:42,959 --> 00:20:47,251
for calling attention to your body's
unholy mockery of human-shaped God.
530
00:20:47,251 --> 00:20:48,751
You had a tough day.
531
00:20:48,751 --> 00:20:50,334
If you're anything like me,
532
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:54,001
you probably just want to spin a cocoon,
fill it with urine, and have a soak.
533
00:20:54,001 --> 00:20:57,668
I just can't believe my colleagues,
folks I considered friends,
534
00:20:57,668 --> 00:21:00,418
thought I was about as good
as supermarket bagels.
535
00:21:00,418 --> 00:21:02,626
I mean, uh, sassagrassa stew.
536
00:21:02,626 --> 00:21:03,626
[sighs]
537
00:21:03,626 --> 00:21:05,209
I can sympathize.
538
00:21:05,209 --> 00:21:07,043
When my fellow Cardibeans back home
539
00:21:07,043 --> 00:21:10,834
realize I failed to conquer a planet
full of Stone Age goo sacks,
540
00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:14,334
well, I will be in the doghouse.
541
00:21:14,834 --> 00:21:18,584
It is not really a house. It is a cage.
542
00:21:18,584 --> 00:21:20,126
And it is not really dogs.
543
00:21:20,126 --> 00:21:22,376
It's closer to, uh... How do I put this?
544
00:21:22,376 --> 00:21:24,168
A... A laser alligator.
545
00:21:24,168 --> 00:21:25,501
Count yourself lucky.
546
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:27,834
At least all the people
who don't like you are dead.
547
00:21:27,834 --> 00:21:31,209
Oh yes, they are definitely... dead.
548
00:21:31,209 --> 00:21:32,834
And you're very welcome for that.
549
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:35,793
Hey, I'm out of flamethrower juice,
and I still got a Bieber left,
550
00:21:35,793 --> 00:21:37,501
so we're gonna run it over with the truck.
551
00:21:37,501 --> 00:21:38,793
Is the president back from Maryland?
552
00:21:38,793 --> 00:21:39,709
No, he w...
553
00:21:39,709 --> 00:21:41,959
Wait, the president went to Maryland?
554
00:21:41,959 --> 00:21:44,084
Dr. Braun and her husband, I think,
555
00:21:44,084 --> 00:21:47,043
were trying to get him
to go get seeds in, uh, Pantsville.
556
00:21:47,043 --> 00:21:48,251
Or Belttown?
557
00:21:48,251 --> 00:21:49,251
Beltsville!
558
00:21:49,251 --> 00:21:50,876
Great googly moogly!
559
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:52,626
Wow.
560
00:21:55,918 --> 00:21:57,751
How stupid do you think I am?
561
00:21:57,751 --> 00:21:58,876
[Simon and Dr. Braun] Uh...
562
00:21:58,876 --> 00:21:59,959
You were tricking me.
563
00:21:59,959 --> 00:22:01,251
For seeds!
564
00:22:01,251 --> 00:22:04,626
Is that what you were gonna tell me
the treasure was? Seeds?
565
00:22:05,334 --> 00:22:07,126
The plan was to have you find this.
566
00:22:08,126 --> 00:22:09,168
[Matty] "Congratulations."
567
00:22:09,168 --> 00:22:11,084
"You have found the national treasure."
568
00:22:11,084 --> 00:22:12,959
"It's you, the American voter."
569
00:22:12,959 --> 00:22:14,834
"Love, George Washington."
570
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:18,001
God, it happened to me again.
I got stuck with bad teammates.
571
00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:19,418
Oh my God!
572
00:22:19,418 --> 00:22:23,209
That story is not about
how everyone else was a bad teammate.
573
00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:25,084
You're the bad teammate!
574
00:22:25,084 --> 00:22:27,251
How? You lied to me!
575
00:22:27,251 --> 00:22:28,876
Yeah, I... I didn't want to.
576
00:22:28,876 --> 00:22:31,376
Just like I didn't want
to climb into a giant toilet
577
00:22:31,376 --> 00:22:33,459
or be the bottom of a human totem pole.
578
00:22:33,459 --> 00:22:36,334
Cultural appropriation.
I have the high ground now.
579
00:22:36,334 --> 00:22:37,793
I desecrated a cemetery
580
00:22:37,793 --> 00:22:39,334
where my aunt is buried!
581
00:22:39,334 --> 00:22:40,959
Also, yelling makes me uncomfortable,
582
00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:42,793
so I'm just gonna say
you look good in my hat.
583
00:22:42,793 --> 00:22:45,918
But we had to trick you
because you won't bunt.
584
00:22:45,918 --> 00:22:48,168
You only ever do what you wanna do.
585
00:22:48,168 --> 00:22:50,793
You don't give a crap
about the greater good.
586
00:22:50,793 --> 00:22:53,209
Your team lost because of you.
587
00:22:53,209 --> 00:22:55,168
Cool pants. Where'd you get them?
588
00:22:55,168 --> 00:22:56,084
And guess what?
589
00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:57,876
This is all a test,
and there really is a treasure?
590
00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:00,084
You're not gonna get the girl
this time either.
591
00:23:00,084 --> 00:23:02,251
Lucy doesn't care about gold.
592
00:23:02,251 --> 00:23:05,751
All she cares about
is if you're a good person,
593
00:23:05,751 --> 00:23:08,459
and you're just... not.
594
00:23:11,418 --> 00:23:14,126
Well, I guess I don't need these anymore.
595
00:23:15,543 --> 00:23:16,501
No throwing!
596
00:23:16,501 --> 00:23:17,709
[dramatic music playing]
597
00:23:17,709 --> 00:23:19,043
- [Matty] What the...
- [Simon gasps]
598
00:23:20,959 --> 00:23:21,876
[Dr. Braun knocks]
599
00:23:21,876 --> 00:23:24,209
I think there's a door here.
600
00:23:24,209 --> 00:23:27,959
And we found it
with Ben Franklin's glasses!
601
00:23:30,126 --> 00:23:32,251
This will do very nicely.
602
00:23:32,834 --> 00:23:33,918
Where'd that come from?
603
00:23:33,918 --> 00:23:35,959
I don't know. I'm a heavy napper.
604
00:23:35,959 --> 00:23:39,709
That's why it's in my will to be buried
with a sandwich, just in case.
605
00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:40,793
[Zhao] Hmm.
606
00:23:40,793 --> 00:23:42,251
"Follow the money."
607
00:23:42,251 --> 00:23:43,168
Ooh!
608
00:23:44,584 --> 00:23:45,793
[Zhao grunting]
609
00:23:46,918 --> 00:23:47,793
[Zhao] Huh.
610
00:23:48,293 --> 00:23:51,126
Mr. Zhao, about our conversation earlier.
611
00:23:51,126 --> 00:23:52,751
Ooh, spill the beans.
612
00:23:52,751 --> 00:23:56,418
I love crawling around
slurping beans up off the ground. Mmm!
613
00:23:56,418 --> 00:23:57,959
Well, you didn't hear it from me,
614
00:23:57,959 --> 00:24:00,668
but the president
and the First Lady's relationship
615
00:24:00,668 --> 00:24:02,293
is a sham,
616
00:24:02,293 --> 00:24:04,418
and I don't mean a fancy pillowcase.
617
00:24:04,418 --> 00:24:05,334
I hope not.
618
00:24:05,334 --> 00:24:08,876
That'd be weird but not really a story.
619
00:24:08,876 --> 00:24:10,293
[whimsical music plays]
620
00:24:10,293 --> 00:24:12,084
[inspiring music playing]
621
00:24:13,751 --> 00:24:16,501
If the national treasure's real,
I'm gonna be so annoyed.
622
00:24:17,168 --> 00:24:20,834
That thing I said earlier
about snakes being afraid of me is, um...
623
00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:23,918
It's... It's only true
for some snakes. [gasps]
624
00:24:23,918 --> 00:24:25,501
[Simon and Dr. Braun gasp]
625
00:24:25,501 --> 00:24:27,709
[dramatic music playing]
626
00:24:34,459 --> 00:24:35,543
Before you do that...
627
00:24:35,543 --> 00:24:36,959
- Oh God!
- Vertical snake!
628
00:24:36,959 --> 00:24:38,709
...allow me to explain.
629
00:24:41,209 --> 00:24:43,459
- [upbeat music playing]
- ♪ Dr. Levine ♪
630
00:24:43,459 --> 00:24:47,126
♪ She's on the scene
And doing it her way ♪
631
00:24:47,126 --> 00:24:50,126
♪ Doing the job, dating some guys ♪
632
00:24:50,126 --> 00:24:53,126
♪ And then it's girls' night ♪
633
00:24:53,126 --> 00:24:55,668
♪ Shopping for shoes, being the boss ♪
634
00:24:55,668 --> 00:24:59,126
♪ I think this show takes place
In the '90s ♪
635
00:24:59,126 --> 00:25:01,126
♪ How could someone
Who's so good at teeth ♪
636
00:25:01,126 --> 00:25:04,126
♪ Be so unlucky in love? ♪
637
00:25:04,126 --> 00:25:05,543
♪ I'm not sure that tracks ♪
638
00:25:05,543 --> 00:25:10,126
♪ It was a network note
And we caved when push came to shove ♪
639
00:25:10,126 --> 00:25:13,126
♪ At work she fills your cavities ♪
640
00:25:13,126 --> 00:25:15,501
♪ And does routine prophylaxis ♪
641
00:25:15,501 --> 00:25:18,126
♪ But her dating life's a tragedy ♪
642
00:25:18,126 --> 00:25:22,126
♪ When it isn't flat-out madness ♪
643
00:25:22,126 --> 00:25:24,126
♪ Dr. Levine ♪
644
00:25:24,126 --> 00:25:27,126
♪ Living the dream
She's having it all ♪
645
00:25:27,126 --> 00:25:30,126
- ♪ She doesn't have to choose ♪
- Doesn't have to choose ♪
646
00:25:30,126 --> 00:25:33,043
- ♪ She knows that she can't lose ♪
- She knows that she can't lose ♪
647
00:25:33,043 --> 00:25:35,168
{\an8}♪ She's Dr. Levine ♪
648
00:25:35,168 --> 00:25:40,876
{\an8}♪ And she has it all ♪
649
00:25:40,876 --> 00:25:42,126
{\an8}[music ends]