1
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:12,043
[whimsical music playing]
2
00:00:14,584 --> 00:00:15,668
[water splashes]
3
00:00:16,209 --> 00:00:17,418
[stuffed animal]
I don't wanna go to Earth.
4
00:00:18,709 --> 00:00:21,459
Coleman, send the little boat to get me.
5
00:00:21,459 --> 00:00:23,709
Coleman? Nah, there's no Coleman here.
6
00:00:23,709 --> 00:00:26,501
Haha, very funny. Trading Places.
7
00:00:26,501 --> 00:00:28,459
Come on. I'm sick of this stupid country.
8
00:00:28,459 --> 00:00:30,626
I just wanna take a shower,
get in my jammies,
9
00:00:30,626 --> 00:00:32,876
put on a porno, and shoot some dolphins.
10
00:00:32,876 --> 00:00:34,834
Sorry, mate,
you must have the wrong yacht.
11
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,793
You know that's my yacht, Coleman.
12
00:00:36,793 --> 00:00:38,543
I'm the one who pays you.
13
00:00:38,543 --> 00:00:40,418
From what me and the Sheilas can tell,
14
00:00:40,418 --> 00:00:42,501
money's not really a fair suck anymore.
15
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:43,959
On your bike, mate.
16
00:00:44,543 --> 00:00:45,751
[Zhao] What?
17
00:00:45,751 --> 00:00:47,168
No, come back!
18
00:00:47,168 --> 00:00:49,209
My watch collection is on there!
19
00:00:49,209 --> 00:00:52,084
[rave music playing faintly]
20
00:00:56,251 --> 00:00:59,293
[theme music playing]
21
00:01:07,251 --> 00:01:09,251
[board squeaking]
22
00:01:11,209 --> 00:01:14,668
{\an8}Mr. President, why did I
have to hear about this in the news?
23
00:01:14,668 --> 00:01:17,668
{\an8}There's two times as many ladies
as fellows now.
24
00:01:17,668 --> 00:01:20,376
{\an8}But no one could ever replace my Eufie.
25
00:01:20,376 --> 00:01:22,209
{\an8}What's the problem? It's awesome.
26
00:01:22,209 --> 00:01:26,001
No, sir. Our new demographics
do not fill me with awe.
27
00:01:26,001 --> 00:01:27,459
They fill me with eek.
28
00:01:27,459 --> 00:01:29,209
We men are outnumbered.
29
00:01:29,209 --> 00:01:32,459
What will America's fairer sex
do with that power?
30
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:33,793
I shudder to think.
31
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,584
And now I'm thinking on it.
32
00:01:35,584 --> 00:01:36,584
[shudders]
33
00:01:36,584 --> 00:01:38,793
It's a big one.
34
00:01:38,793 --> 00:01:42,584
Huh. Yeah, you know, growing up,
I had five sisters, all named Megan,
35
00:01:42,584 --> 00:01:44,543
and if they ganged up, I was screwed.
36
00:01:44,543 --> 00:01:48,043
We spent my 10th birthday
shoplifting at Limited Too.
37
00:01:48,043 --> 00:01:50,209
I wanted to shoplift at GameStop.
38
00:01:50,209 --> 00:01:54,251
Well, now think what 800 Megans
could do to this country.
39
00:01:54,251 --> 00:01:55,418
I shudder to.
40
00:01:55,418 --> 00:01:59,043
Federal funding for menstrual belts,
bosoms on Mount Rushmore.
41
00:01:59,043 --> 00:02:03,418
No, what we need is a wedge issue
to keep them from uniting.
42
00:02:03,418 --> 00:02:05,543
God, guns, and gays are the classics,
43
00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:09,918
as immortalized on the ceiling
in the Oval Office if you'll just look up.
44
00:02:09,918 --> 00:02:12,251
There you see Jesus
giving muskets to the pilgrims
45
00:02:12,251 --> 00:02:15,168
to fight off a boat
full of Oscar Wildeses.
46
00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:17,584
It's allegorical. There's also a dinosaur.
47
00:02:17,584 --> 00:02:19,459
How did I never notice that?
48
00:02:19,459 --> 00:02:21,668
Why, if we can find the right distraction,
49
00:02:21,668 --> 00:02:24,751
then the estrogenious electorate
will be too busy fighting each other
50
00:02:24,751 --> 00:02:27,626
to interfere with our own
testosteronious plans.
51
00:02:27,626 --> 00:02:30,793
Right. Like how I'd get the Megans
one ticket to New Kids.
52
00:02:30,793 --> 00:02:32,168
And while they were fighting over it,
53
00:02:32,168 --> 00:02:34,084
I'd sneak into their room
and practice bras.
54
00:02:34,084 --> 00:02:35,543
Well, now you're on the trolley.
55
00:02:35,543 --> 00:02:38,043
Women are a lot like crows, sir.
56
00:02:38,043 --> 00:02:41,584
You give 'em something shiny,
they'll peck each other to death over it.
57
00:02:41,584 --> 00:02:44,668
- Something like a stamp.
- [banjo strums]
58
00:02:44,668 --> 00:02:47,418
He is not messing with you girls.
59
00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:49,001
This is for real,
60
00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:52,168
but obviously,
only one woman can be on it.
61
00:02:52,168 --> 00:02:55,168
And what an honor this honor is.
62
00:02:55,168 --> 00:02:58,876
Gosh, imagine being on a stamp,
like the word "forever."
63
00:02:58,876 --> 00:03:01,043
Boy, stamps sure bring me back.
64
00:03:01,043 --> 00:03:04,459
You know, Rick James fired me
from his tour by certified mail.
65
00:03:04,459 --> 00:03:06,001
This is so cool.
66
00:03:06,001 --> 00:03:09,959
I know I wasn't invited to this meeting,
but stamps! [chuckles]
67
00:03:09,959 --> 00:03:11,501
I'm something of a philatelist.
68
00:03:11,501 --> 00:03:12,751
Okay, I have work to do.
69
00:03:12,751 --> 00:03:15,209
I've gotten nowhere
on decontaminating the tap water,
70
00:03:15,209 --> 00:03:17,418
so I'm working on
an aerosolized hallucinogen
71
00:03:17,418 --> 00:03:19,584
that will trick people
into drinking Dasani.
72
00:03:19,584 --> 00:03:22,751
We're all busy, Farrah,
but this is important. And it'll be fun.
73
00:03:22,751 --> 00:03:25,209
It's frivolous and insipid. A stamp?
74
00:03:25,209 --> 00:03:27,918
There isn't even a post office.
It's just that lady on a horse.
75
00:03:27,918 --> 00:03:29,918
- Valpaks, citizens!
- [patriotic music plays]
76
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:32,584
- I deliver hope!
- [horse whinnies]
77
00:03:32,584 --> 00:03:33,626
Ya!
78
00:03:34,209 --> 00:03:35,751
Maybe I could help with the design!
79
00:03:35,751 --> 00:03:38,459
I mean, designing stamps has always
just been a hobby for me, but--
80
00:03:38,459 --> 00:03:40,918
Ooh, did that art supply store
in Dupont Circle survive?
81
00:03:40,918 --> 00:03:42,126
I'll be right back.
82
00:03:42,126 --> 00:03:44,126
Representation matters, Dr. Braun.
83
00:03:44,126 --> 00:03:46,668
When I was a little girl,
Angela Perez Baraquio
84
00:03:46,668 --> 00:03:50,168
became the first Asian-American
Miss America, and that inspired me--
85
00:03:50,168 --> 00:03:53,626
To be a beauty queen?
Yeah, let's encourage more of that.
86
00:03:53,626 --> 00:03:54,918
[Dr. Braun groans]
87
00:03:54,918 --> 00:03:56,084
I've gotta get back to the lab.
88
00:03:56,084 --> 00:03:59,501
I can't possibly cram anything else in,
especially something this pointless.
89
00:03:59,501 --> 00:04:01,876
In bed. [chuckles]
90
00:04:03,126 --> 00:04:05,668
Hey, the president just made a joke.
Respect the office.
91
00:04:05,668 --> 00:04:08,334
Well, of course, sir. In bed. Very funny.
92
00:04:08,334 --> 00:04:10,126
It's just, uh, a bit of a thinker,
93
00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:11,543
but now that I get it...
94
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:14,751
[laughs]
95
00:04:14,751 --> 00:04:16,168
...mirth!
96
00:04:16,751 --> 00:04:19,876
Hey, folks, are you a lady,
or know someone who is?
97
00:04:19,876 --> 00:04:21,543
Do the stamp contest!
98
00:04:21,543 --> 00:04:26,459
Coming up next, a bumpy road.
99
00:04:26,459 --> 00:04:28,918
[Zhao shivering]
100
00:04:30,918 --> 00:04:33,418
- [groans]
- Hey, suit, no loitering!
101
00:04:33,418 --> 00:04:36,459
You think I wanna be here?
I should be on my yacht.
102
00:04:36,459 --> 00:04:37,751
It's called Kiss My Boat.
103
00:04:37,751 --> 00:04:40,751
I paid someone a million dollars
to come up with that for me.
104
00:04:40,751 --> 00:04:42,418
So you don't got a job?
105
00:04:42,418 --> 00:04:44,668
No, this is my job.
106
00:04:44,668 --> 00:04:47,043
I'm at the money-burning office, idiot.
107
00:04:47,043 --> 00:04:48,168
- [man grunts]
- [Zhao yelps]
108
00:04:50,251 --> 00:04:51,751
You almost done cleaning up your mess?
109
00:04:51,751 --> 00:04:53,751
Most of this isn't mine, you know.
110
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,709
I don't smoke Kools.
111
00:04:56,209 --> 00:04:57,293
[Axatrax groans]
112
00:04:57,293 --> 00:04:59,876
On my planet,
we have a thing called a chore wheel.
113
00:04:59,876 --> 00:05:01,918
It crushes those
who do not complete their chores.
114
00:05:01,918 --> 00:05:03,459
You-- [yelps]
115
00:05:03,459 --> 00:05:05,751
Have a nice trip. See you next fall.
116
00:05:06,334 --> 00:05:08,918
Huh? [laughs]
117
00:05:08,918 --> 00:05:11,626
Okay, that is hilarious.
118
00:05:11,626 --> 00:05:13,501
Did you just come up with that?
119
00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:16,543
Yeah, I just came up with it.
120
00:05:16,543 --> 00:05:18,834
Well, thank you for the laugh.
121
00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:20,626
Hey, uh, put back that cheese,
122
00:05:21,709 --> 00:05:23,668
'cause it's na-cho cheese.
123
00:05:23,668 --> 00:05:25,418
[laughs]
124
00:05:25,418 --> 00:05:27,376
You, sir, are on fire.
125
00:05:27,376 --> 00:05:28,751
Yeah, I'm pretty quick.
126
00:05:28,751 --> 00:05:29,668
In bed.
127
00:05:29,668 --> 00:05:31,834
[laughs]
128
00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:33,459
[chuckles] I'm not though.
129
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:37,209
[Axatrax laughing, screeching]
130
00:05:37,793 --> 00:05:40,084
[chittering]
131
00:05:40,084 --> 00:05:41,001
No!
132
00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:41,959
[Dr. Braun sighs]
133
00:05:41,959 --> 00:05:44,793
- [Lucy] Knock, knock.
- Oh good. You said it and did it.
134
00:05:44,793 --> 00:05:48,418
Um, you know what, Farrah?
Nice isn't just a city in France.
135
00:05:48,418 --> 00:05:50,751
It's also a thing you can be,
and you weren't it.
136
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:51,668
What?
137
00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:54,126
You were mean,
but I'm not giving up on this friendship.
138
00:05:54,709 --> 00:05:56,876
So we are having a girls' day out.
139
00:05:56,876 --> 00:05:58,543
I got us tickets
to that play that's still running.
140
00:05:58,543 --> 00:06:01,043
Oh, it's Annie. I took my kids.
141
00:06:01,043 --> 00:06:03,584
It really doesn't hold up post-attack.
142
00:06:03,584 --> 00:06:06,418
Your dog, huh? So, what's his name?
143
00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:12,751
- Okay, let's see him answer to his name.
- [audience member cries]
144
00:06:12,751 --> 00:06:15,043
We don't have to be friends
just because we're women.
145
00:06:15,043 --> 00:06:17,001
My first postdoc fellowship
back in the '90s--
146
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,543
I had a class on the '90s in high school.
147
00:06:18,543 --> 00:06:21,209
Cool. Anyway, there was only
one other woman in the lab,
148
00:06:21,209 --> 00:06:23,501
so of course they stuck us together.
149
00:06:23,501 --> 00:06:25,168
We had funding from the military
150
00:06:25,168 --> 00:06:27,334
to see if we could train chimps
to use flamethrowers.
151
00:06:27,334 --> 00:06:31,084
The Geneva Convention makes assumptions
about combatants being human.
152
00:06:31,084 --> 00:06:32,709
It was kind of an Air Bud situation.
153
00:06:32,709 --> 00:06:35,084
1997. Air Bud was on the final.
154
00:06:35,084 --> 00:06:38,543
[Dr. Braun] Vicky was a primatologist,
and I'm a biotech neuroengineer,
155
00:06:38,543 --> 00:06:42,959
but since we both had two X chromosomes,
she thought we should be BFFs.
156
00:06:42,959 --> 00:06:45,584
Maybe if she'd spent more time
doing her job
157
00:06:45,584 --> 00:06:49,584
and less time bonding about
what a boys' club ape research is,
158
00:06:49,584 --> 00:06:52,251
she would have remembered
to constipate the chimps
159
00:06:52,251 --> 00:06:53,918
before a visit from the president.
160
00:06:53,918 --> 00:06:55,459
Oh man. Sheesh.
161
00:06:55,459 --> 00:06:58,043
Last I heard of Vicky,
she was writing for the "science section"
162
00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,418
of The New York Times.
163
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,709
So that's how you see me?
164
00:07:00,709 --> 00:07:02,543
Like I'm just some dumb work acquaintance?
165
00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:05,126
[groans] I'm just saying,
I'm under a lot of pressure
166
00:07:05,126 --> 00:07:07,376
to fix everything
in the whole world right now,
167
00:07:07,376 --> 00:07:11,001
and I'm not sure female friendship
is gonna help me do that. Sorry.
168
00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:13,751
[TOD-209] TOD caught more rats for Dasani.
169
00:07:13,751 --> 00:07:14,751
Poor rats.
170
00:07:14,751 --> 00:07:17,918
But if you need a woman
to be friends with,
171
00:07:17,918 --> 00:07:19,334
we don't technically know TOD's gender.
172
00:07:19,334 --> 00:07:20,668
[TOD-209] Wait, what?
173
00:07:21,251 --> 00:07:22,418
Voice modulator...
174
00:07:22,418 --> 00:07:23,751
[female TOD-209] ...recalibrated?
175
00:07:23,751 --> 00:07:26,001
There you go. Have fun at brunch.
176
00:07:26,001 --> 00:07:28,918
Fine. We will.
We'll have a great time together.
177
00:07:28,918 --> 00:07:32,501
TOD, your brain looks so good today.
178
00:07:32,501 --> 00:07:36,168
[female TOD-209] Really? TOD can't
do anything with it in this humidity.
179
00:07:37,668 --> 00:07:39,293
- [Matty] Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
180
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:41,293
- Boo.
- Boo? Who?
181
00:07:41,293 --> 00:07:43,043
Why are you crying, bro?
182
00:07:43,043 --> 00:07:44,959
[laughs]
183
00:07:44,959 --> 00:07:46,459
Hey, you like math?
184
00:07:46,459 --> 00:07:47,751
{\an8}[Axatrax] What is this integer?
185
00:07:47,751 --> 00:07:50,334
{\an8}One percent of the number of human deaths?
186
00:07:50,334 --> 00:07:52,126
I guess that is kind of funny.
187
00:07:52,126 --> 00:07:53,751
Whoopsie. It's upside down.
188
00:07:53,751 --> 00:07:55,084
[Axatrax] "Boobless."
189
00:07:55,084 --> 00:07:56,459
Out of numbers.
190
00:07:56,459 --> 00:07:59,126
You are a regular Jeeblort Goldfarb.
191
00:07:59,126 --> 00:08:02,126
He's a Cardibean comedian.
He does this bit on spaceship food--
192
00:08:02,126 --> 00:08:04,001
I actually just flew in earlier,
193
00:08:04,001 --> 00:08:06,126
and boy, are my arms tired.
194
00:08:06,126 --> 00:08:07,418
[laughs]
195
00:08:07,418 --> 00:08:09,251
I'm like so random.
196
00:08:09,251 --> 00:08:11,126
So, what skills you got, Mr. Zhao?
197
00:08:11,126 --> 00:08:13,251
Uh, I run Zhao Enterprises.
198
00:08:13,251 --> 00:08:16,459
Soccer teams, horse racing,
dog food, Chinese Netflix.
199
00:08:16,459 --> 00:08:20,168
Okay, cool. But we're fixing,
like, a whole city.
200
00:08:20,168 --> 00:08:22,209
Can you do trains or... or pipes?
201
00:08:22,209 --> 00:08:24,626
[grunts] These hands ain't never done
a day of work, sir.
202
00:08:24,626 --> 00:08:27,001
I feel like I'm dancing
with a marshmallow lady.
203
00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:29,043
Do you have any idea who I am?
204
00:08:29,043 --> 00:08:31,543
I'm Johnny Zhao. I went to Wharton.
205
00:08:31,543 --> 00:08:35,001
My dad got me an internship
with Chairman Xi himself.
206
00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:37,293
I spent the summer personally censoring
207
00:08:37,293 --> 00:08:39,834
all images of Winnie the Pooh
off the Internet.
208
00:08:39,834 --> 00:08:41,209
He gave me a medal.
209
00:08:41,209 --> 00:08:44,709
[in Mandarin] Thank you, Chairman Xi!
You don't look like him at all.
210
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:47,376
[in English] Oh, you're fancy.
211
00:08:47,376 --> 00:08:49,543
Then you should probably
work someplace fancy.
212
00:08:49,543 --> 00:08:53,376
I've seen this before. My cleaning lady
is, like, obsessed with these things.
213
00:08:53,376 --> 00:08:55,251
Why are you giving it to me?
214
00:08:59,334 --> 00:09:00,334
[Zhao grunts, groans]
215
00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:02,334
Careful handling the glorb sac.
216
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:03,251
The what?
217
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,376
[yelps, groans]
218
00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:07,043
You got glorbed! [chuckling]
219
00:09:07,043 --> 00:09:09,334
[children speaking indistinctly]
220
00:09:09,334 --> 00:09:11,168
You're testing the pH levels, right?
221
00:09:11,168 --> 00:09:13,334
We learned about that in school
before my teacher burnt.
222
00:09:13,334 --> 00:09:15,876
Oh, are you interested in science?
I could use some help.
223
00:09:15,876 --> 00:09:17,501
- Oh, sure.
- Style section.
224
00:09:17,501 --> 00:09:19,834
Want beachy waves like our First Lady?
225
00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:22,334
The secret is glorb sac juice.
226
00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:24,043
Whoa!
227
00:09:24,834 --> 00:09:27,668
Breaking news! My seat broke! [chuckles]
228
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,459
I want beachy waves like Lucy.
229
00:09:29,459 --> 00:09:31,043
There's a glorb sac over there.
230
00:09:31,043 --> 00:09:34,209
- [groans] Come on.
- Now I'm gonna win the stamp contest.
231
00:09:34,209 --> 00:09:35,168
[groans]
232
00:09:35,168 --> 00:09:36,084
[banjo strums]
233
00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:38,751
Johnny, you're still here.
234
00:09:38,751 --> 00:09:41,251
But where's your friend,
suitcase full of money?
235
00:09:41,251 --> 00:09:42,668
I burned her to stay warm.
236
00:09:42,668 --> 00:09:45,418
I've never been cold before.
It's terrible.
237
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,876
And wiping your own ass is disgusting.
238
00:09:47,876 --> 00:09:50,084
Do you know what comes out of there?
239
00:09:50,084 --> 00:09:52,251
[groans] You gotta help me, man.
240
00:09:52,251 --> 00:09:55,543
What happened to your beautiful
marshmallow-lady hands?
241
00:09:55,543 --> 00:09:58,668
Your stupid army is making me clean up
your stupid streets,
242
00:09:58,668 --> 00:10:01,209
and I got paid in barbecue sauce packets
and a quarter.
243
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,834
What am I supposed to with a quarter?
Even before?
244
00:10:03,834 --> 00:10:07,793
Johnny, if money were still a thing,
and you were still a donor,
245
00:10:07,793 --> 00:10:11,834
why, you could barge in here and defile me
and my office in whatever way you saw fit.
246
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:14,168
But you're just a human being now,
247
00:10:14,168 --> 00:10:17,084
so I'm not sure
how the government can help you.
248
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,709
You can give me a cushy job.
249
00:10:18,709 --> 00:10:22,834
Can I be ambassador to some country
that blew up, like Crambada?
250
00:10:22,834 --> 00:10:25,418
I don't know things. I went to Wharton.
251
00:10:25,418 --> 00:10:27,876
Look, we're all having a tough time.
252
00:10:27,876 --> 00:10:30,834
I mean, I found out yesterday
the world is mostly women.
253
00:10:30,834 --> 00:10:33,043
But did I go crying to Mama? No.
254
00:10:33,043 --> 00:10:36,459
I gave her her milk, put her to bed,
then got to work fixing the problem.
255
00:10:36,459 --> 00:10:37,543
Your mother's alive?
256
00:10:37,543 --> 00:10:40,668
You need to focus on pulling yourself up
by your bootstraps.
257
00:10:40,668 --> 00:10:42,084
Don't send me back out there.
258
00:10:42,084 --> 00:10:43,918
[LaMarr] I'll be happy
to help you, Johnny,
259
00:10:43,918 --> 00:10:47,418
just as soon as you are once again
in a position to help me in return.
260
00:10:47,418 --> 00:10:49,084
One hand washes the other.
261
00:10:49,084 --> 00:10:50,751
That doesn't mean anything to me.
262
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,168
I had a hand-washing guy
who lived in my sink.
263
00:10:53,168 --> 00:10:54,501
Okay, bye now.
264
00:10:55,418 --> 00:10:59,543
Ladies, thank you all for coming
to this very important stamp thing.
265
00:10:59,543 --> 00:11:01,459
Now, while there can only be one winner,
266
00:11:01,459 --> 00:11:03,709
there will be many, many losers.
267
00:11:03,709 --> 00:11:06,751
So let's not let this contest
sow discord among you.
268
00:11:06,751 --> 00:11:09,001
I don't wanna see ya'll
tearing each other's wigs off
269
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:13,001
like a Black Friday sale at one
of the many Dress Barn franchises I own.
270
00:11:13,001 --> 00:11:15,084
I will enter the stamp contest.
271
00:11:15,084 --> 00:11:17,501
Why'd you say it like that?
Bitch, I don't know your life.
272
00:11:17,501 --> 00:11:19,084
But you said this was stupid.
273
00:11:19,084 --> 00:11:21,959
I believe the words
were "insipid" and "frivolous."
274
00:11:21,959 --> 00:11:27,209
But, Lucy, you think that this thing
is totally sipid and full of frivol.
275
00:11:27,209 --> 00:11:29,751
Yeah, Farrah, I thought you had
more important things to do.
276
00:11:29,751 --> 00:11:33,126
Well, I realized it is important
to give kids a good role model.
277
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:36,001
Someone who reads books
that weren't written by a Kardashian.
278
00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:39,084
Um, technically, Brody Jenner
isn't a Kardashian.
279
00:11:39,084 --> 00:11:41,459
I guess somebody here
just looks like a librarian.
280
00:11:41,459 --> 00:11:42,918
[Matty] Oh!
281
00:11:42,918 --> 00:11:44,376
Ladies, please.
282
00:11:44,376 --> 00:11:47,459
It's already gonna be hard enough
to choose a stamp face
283
00:11:47,459 --> 00:11:50,584
from all these lovely and ugly options.
284
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,334
We value all kinds.
285
00:11:52,334 --> 00:11:54,418
Well, your decision
shouldn't be based on appearance.
286
00:11:54,418 --> 00:11:57,668
It should be based on merit.
So I think we should each write an essay--
287
00:11:57,668 --> 00:12:00,584
Oh, Farrah, that idea is dumb and unfair.
288
00:12:00,584 --> 00:12:03,293
Is this Christmas?
Because the Claus are out.
289
00:12:03,293 --> 00:12:05,543
Obviously, a words contest
helps Dr. Braun.
290
00:12:05,543 --> 00:12:07,793
So I think we should all get to show off
what we do best.
291
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:09,209
- Wanda can sing.
- Okay.
292
00:12:09,209 --> 00:12:11,209
I can talk about world peace
in a bathing suit.
293
00:12:11,209 --> 00:12:14,043
I can chug a whole gallon of milk.
It doesn't have to be fresh.
294
00:12:14,043 --> 00:12:16,501
Oh, so this is just a full-on pageant now?
295
00:12:16,501 --> 00:12:18,543
Well, I think that's a wonderful idea.
296
00:12:18,543 --> 00:12:22,501
We'll do it out on the mall
so the victory and shame could be public.
297
00:12:22,501 --> 00:12:25,251
We'll need a male host
so it's not just chaos up there.
298
00:12:25,251 --> 00:12:26,793
President Mulligan should do it.
299
00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:31,001
He is hilarious. He came up with a joke
on a calculator. The--
300
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,084
[Matty] Da, da, da, da!
301
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:35,418
Don't say it, 'cause I'm probably
gonna use that joke at the pageant.
302
00:12:35,418 --> 00:12:37,376
Axatrax, may I speak with you?
303
00:12:37,376 --> 00:12:39,251
You folks are in for a treat.
304
00:12:39,918 --> 00:12:41,751
You did not come up with those jokes?
305
00:12:41,751 --> 00:12:43,293
I take back my laughter.
306
00:12:43,293 --> 00:12:44,793
No way, no take-backs.
307
00:12:44,793 --> 00:12:48,084
But now, thanks to you,
I gotta host a whole pageant.
308
00:12:48,084 --> 00:12:49,459
You gotta help me out here, Axie.
309
00:12:49,459 --> 00:12:51,793
How? I obviously don't know Earth humor.
310
00:12:51,793 --> 00:12:55,293
Exactly. But no one here
knows Cardi-B jokes.
311
00:12:55,293 --> 00:12:58,251
You want to steal Jeeblort Goldfarb's act.
312
00:12:58,251 --> 00:13:00,584
Down to the last snorg.
313
00:13:00,584 --> 00:13:03,959
Did you just try to guess
our word for joke?
314
00:13:03,959 --> 00:13:05,084
Was I close?
315
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:06,959
Yes. But why should I help you?
316
00:13:06,959 --> 00:13:08,876
Because I know your arms grow back.
317
00:13:08,876 --> 00:13:09,834
I would be happy to help.
318
00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:12,251
[Vance] Hey, it's the morning news!
319
00:13:12,251 --> 00:13:14,043
What's everyone wearing
to the stamp pageant?
320
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:17,876
Local news personality Vance Barry
will be wearing this.
321
00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:20,084
In other news, my seat's still broke.
322
00:13:20,084 --> 00:13:21,543
Owie, ow, ow, ow.
323
00:13:21,543 --> 00:13:23,459
- [rave music playing]
- [Coleman chuckles] Nice.
324
00:13:23,459 --> 00:13:26,876
That should be me out there.
Not the boat, one of the people on it.
325
00:13:26,876 --> 00:13:28,668
Hey, college, get to work!
326
00:13:29,251 --> 00:13:30,793
So where in Russia are you from?
327
00:13:33,584 --> 00:13:35,834
Coleman, wait, I'm coming!
328
00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:37,668
[breathing heavily]
329
00:13:37,668 --> 00:13:38,584
[grunts]
330
00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:41,001
[screaming, straining]
331
00:13:41,001 --> 00:13:42,793
I don't have my water wings!
332
00:13:42,793 --> 00:13:45,459
Who has my water wings?
333
00:13:45,459 --> 00:13:48,584
[dramatic music playing]
334
00:13:52,751 --> 00:13:54,959
[bubbling]
335
00:13:59,126 --> 00:14:00,209
[exhales]
336
00:14:00,209 --> 00:14:02,876
- [gentle music playing]
- Uncle Xi? You saved me.
337
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:04,626
But what do I do now?
338
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:06,668
You can do anything.
339
00:14:06,668 --> 00:14:08,459
[Winnie the Pooh] Even nothing.
340
00:14:08,959 --> 00:14:11,126
Yes. Thank you, Xi Dada.
341
00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:12,918
I can do anything.
342
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:14,668
[whimsical music plays]
343
00:14:14,668 --> 00:14:17,168
[Winnie the Pooh]
I sure like honey in my tummy.
344
00:14:17,168 --> 00:14:18,209
[Zhao] No duh.
345
00:14:18,209 --> 00:14:21,251
It's one of the things
everyone knows about you.
346
00:14:25,834 --> 00:14:27,334
Damn it. Where is TOD?
347
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:28,584
[female TOD-209 and Lucy chuckling]
348
00:14:28,584 --> 00:14:30,751
- [Lucy] Oh, TOD.
- [female TOD-109] We are bonding.
349
00:14:30,751 --> 00:14:32,209
[Lucy] Boop! [chuckles]
350
00:14:32,209 --> 00:14:36,543
- What do you think you're doing?
- [female TOD-209] TOD owning sexuality.
351
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:39,001
TOD thinks smoky eye for pageant.
352
00:14:39,001 --> 00:14:41,418
No, this is getting ridiculous.
I'm gonna switch you back.
353
00:14:41,418 --> 00:14:44,251
Excuse me,
that's TOD's voice modulator knob.
354
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:47,001
TOD can choose for him or herself.
355
00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:48,376
No, TOD can't.
356
00:14:48,376 --> 00:14:50,501
Go back to the lab,
and clean your brain tank.
357
00:14:50,501 --> 00:14:51,459
[dramatic music plays]
358
00:14:51,459 --> 00:14:54,334
[female TOD-209]
No, TOD want to stay with Lucy.
359
00:14:54,334 --> 00:14:58,126
Lucy say TOD's brain stem look toned,
like in magazine.
360
00:14:58,126 --> 00:15:01,209
- [Dr. Braun] Agh!
- Hey, you told TOD to go with me.
361
00:15:01,209 --> 00:15:03,834
What do you care anyway?
I thought you didn't need friends.
362
00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:05,418
Okay, sure. You know what?
363
00:15:05,418 --> 00:15:08,209
I know you think this is your "milieu"...
364
00:15:08,209 --> 00:15:09,126
[Lucy] I do?
365
00:15:09,126 --> 00:15:11,334
...but you're messing
with the wrong scientist.
366
00:15:11,334 --> 00:15:13,668
[gasps] Ooh, I'm so scared.
367
00:15:13,668 --> 00:15:16,668
Well, you should be,
because you know who else was a scientist?
368
00:15:16,668 --> 00:15:18,668
Robert Oppenheimer.
369
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:22,543
I mean, the bad guy
from Sonic the Hedgehog.
370
00:15:22,543 --> 00:15:24,501
- [gasps]
- [dramatic sting]
371
00:15:24,501 --> 00:15:26,043
The wedge.
372
00:15:26,043 --> 00:15:28,251
It may be my least favorite salad
and shoe,
373
00:15:28,251 --> 00:15:32,168
but it's my most favorite... this. Whatever.
374
00:15:32,168 --> 00:15:33,876
Who am I talking to?
375
00:15:33,876 --> 00:15:36,001
[Dr. Braun] Right. Hm. Okay, Lucy,
376
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:39,793
how'd you like a sonic cannon
to make you lose control of your bowels?
377
00:15:39,793 --> 00:15:43,668
Or an electrified net
to make you lose control of your bowels?
378
00:15:43,668 --> 00:15:45,376
Or a laxative gas--
379
00:15:45,376 --> 00:15:47,668
God, Rumsfeld was, like, obsessed.
380
00:15:50,043 --> 00:15:50,876
Mm-hmm.
381
00:15:52,001 --> 00:15:54,709
[suspenseful music playing]
382
00:15:55,334 --> 00:15:56,168
[gun cocks]
383
00:15:56,876 --> 00:15:58,043
- [gun fires]
- [Lucy] Ooh.
384
00:15:58,043 --> 00:16:00,043
[gurgling]
385
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,501
[groans] I feel weird.
386
00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:06,834
- [crowd gasps]
- [indistinct chatter]
387
00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:10,751
Ah, I eat boogers.
388
00:16:11,334 --> 00:16:12,584
[crowd gasps]
389
00:16:12,584 --> 00:16:15,168
[laughing]
390
00:16:18,668 --> 00:16:20,376
Huh? [groans]
391
00:16:23,126 --> 00:16:24,043
[groans]
392
00:16:24,043 --> 00:16:26,209
Oh God, missy. [inhales]
393
00:16:26,209 --> 00:16:27,334
[groans]
394
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,209
[whimsical music playing]
395
00:16:30,251 --> 00:16:31,084
What?
396
00:16:33,584 --> 00:16:36,668
We took two scientisesses,
that's female scientists,
397
00:16:36,668 --> 00:16:39,501
and made them work together
on this fake chimp thing.
398
00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:42,376
In order to activate the inherent
cattiness of the human subjects,
399
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:46,293
we injected the chimps with a powerful
and very laxative fear hormone.
400
00:16:46,293 --> 00:16:49,168
The subjects have, as predicted,
turned on each other.
401
00:16:49,168 --> 00:16:52,126
I don't understand.
I gave them all a full workup yesterday.
402
00:16:52,126 --> 00:16:53,501
Well, obviously you didn't.
403
00:16:53,501 --> 00:16:57,876
Well, maybe they're stressing out
because you're an uptight B-word.
404
00:16:57,876 --> 00:17:00,626
No, no, not banana.
Not banan-- Oh, damn it!
405
00:17:00,626 --> 00:17:04,251
As you can see, the slightest complication
has created a wedge between them.
406
00:17:04,251 --> 00:17:07,251
Just like the painting
on the ceiling in my office.
407
00:17:07,251 --> 00:17:09,959
Females simply can't get along, sir.
408
00:17:09,959 --> 00:17:11,001
So good news.
409
00:17:11,001 --> 00:17:13,793
The way we already treat women
has now been fully justified by science.
410
00:17:13,793 --> 00:17:16,793
Oh man, I do love science.
411
00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:19,126
[chuckles]
412
00:17:20,376 --> 00:17:21,209
Wow.
413
00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:23,751
[crowd cheering]
414
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,376
All right. What's up, America?
415
00:17:26,376 --> 00:17:32,418
Thanks for coming out to choose
your next lady for the stamp lady.
416
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:37,293
Why, I haven't seen this many hotties
since my visit to Calderon-4.
417
00:17:37,293 --> 00:17:39,668
Because of their 30 suns.
418
00:17:41,418 --> 00:17:42,251
[coughs]
419
00:17:44,376 --> 00:17:46,584
So, um... [clears throat]
420
00:17:46,584 --> 00:17:50,126
Uh, and what is up
with the food on spaceships?
421
00:17:50,126 --> 00:17:53,334
You get that little bag
of Malzorbian tree testicles,
422
00:17:53,334 --> 00:17:56,418
and then there's only, like,
five testicles in there.
423
00:17:56,918 --> 00:17:58,376
- Right?
- [crowd groans]
424
00:17:58,376 --> 00:18:01,376
[whispers] Do your impression
of Vice Chancellor Zarkovon.
425
00:18:01,376 --> 00:18:04,584
Cha-ch-cha-ka-ti-ti-ka-ta fleeeee!
426
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,751
[man] Boo.
427
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,876
[crowd] Boo!
428
00:18:08,543 --> 00:18:11,209
What the hell, Axatrax?
I'm bombing out there.
429
00:18:11,209 --> 00:18:14,126
- This crowd sucks.
- I have to make them like me.
430
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:16,501
What do I do? Kisses are money now, right?
431
00:18:16,501 --> 00:18:17,418
Hmm.
432
00:18:17,418 --> 00:18:20,959
Why do you have
this insatiable need to be loved?
433
00:18:20,959 --> 00:18:22,959
What? No, I don't need love.
434
00:18:22,959 --> 00:18:26,043
I've been doing without love
since I was a kid, smartypants,
435
00:18:26,043 --> 00:18:27,834
and I turned out completely Mom.
436
00:18:28,418 --> 00:18:29,751
Tell me about your mother.
437
00:18:29,751 --> 00:18:32,084
Why? She was just a normal mom.
438
00:18:32,084 --> 00:18:33,543
I mean, she was a greeter at Kmart,
439
00:18:33,543 --> 00:18:35,751
so she didn't have the energy
to say hi at home too.
440
00:18:35,751 --> 00:18:38,001
She named me after her dad she never met.
441
00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:41,376
Every couple of weeks, she'd go missing.
We'd find her crying at the bus station.
442
00:18:41,376 --> 00:18:42,626
You know, the usual.
443
00:18:42,626 --> 00:18:44,334
You are the youngest, right?
444
00:18:44,334 --> 00:18:46,334
Oh my--
What do my sisters gotta do with this?
445
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:50,043
I once went a year without speaking
just to see if anyone would notice.
446
00:18:50,043 --> 00:18:52,376
So what? They didn't, okay?
447
00:18:52,376 --> 00:18:54,543
So why bring this stuff up?
[chuckles nervously]
448
00:18:54,543 --> 00:18:55,793
You want that crowd
449
00:18:55,793 --> 00:18:59,334
to give you the validation
you never got as a child.
450
00:18:59,334 --> 00:19:01,501
Who knew humans
were so emotionally complex?
451
00:19:01,501 --> 00:19:02,626
In bed.
452
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:04,751
[sighs]
453
00:19:04,751 --> 00:19:05,668
I have an idea.
454
00:19:05,668 --> 00:19:08,168
- [sniffles]
- [whimsical music plays]
455
00:19:08,168 --> 00:19:10,959
All right, you want bootstraps, LaMarr?
456
00:19:10,959 --> 00:19:12,418
I'll show you bootstraps.
457
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:15,876
Or I would, but I only wear sneakers
designed by mentally insane rappers.
458
00:19:15,876 --> 00:19:17,751
Um, do you, like, work here?
459
00:19:17,751 --> 00:19:20,126
We booked a private weeks ago.
460
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:22,543
Tomorrow is my special day!
461
00:19:23,126 --> 00:19:25,334
Okay, she has, like, a piece
of alien ship in her brain.
462
00:19:25,334 --> 00:19:27,918
So she wakes up every day
thinking, like, tomorrow is her wedding.
463
00:19:27,918 --> 00:19:30,293
So can you help us out?
464
00:19:31,918 --> 00:19:33,626
Huh. [grunts]
465
00:19:35,251 --> 00:19:38,543
[strains] I've gotta look hot for Derek!
466
00:19:39,126 --> 00:19:39,959
[ding]
467
00:19:40,626 --> 00:19:42,501
[whimsical music playing]
468
00:19:44,043 --> 00:19:48,126
[female TOD-209] But never in
all the times that I had this dream
469
00:19:48,126 --> 00:19:49,918
did the knight say to me,
470
00:19:49,918 --> 00:19:53,584
"Come on, baby.
I'll put you up in a great condo."
471
00:19:53,584 --> 00:19:55,209
[crowd applauding]
472
00:19:55,209 --> 00:19:58,168
Great, great, give it up for TOD-209,
473
00:19:58,168 --> 00:20:00,584
doing a monologue from Pretty Woman.
474
00:20:00,584 --> 00:20:04,126
All right, um, so anybody here
from out of town?
475
00:20:04,126 --> 00:20:07,626
Oh, I know that guy is,
from way out of town.
476
00:20:07,626 --> 00:20:08,959
[all chuckle]
477
00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:11,209
- Okay.
- Axatrax, everybody.
478
00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:15,293
What a freak.
You guys are not an attractive species.
479
00:20:15,293 --> 00:20:18,501
Oh my God.
I can't tell if you don't have genitals
480
00:20:18,501 --> 00:20:20,251
or if you only have genitals.
481
00:20:20,251 --> 00:20:21,459
[crowd chuckles]
482
00:20:21,459 --> 00:20:25,168
My genitals are on the back of my skull
just like everyone else's.
483
00:20:25,168 --> 00:20:28,334
So the other alien
never has to look at your face.
484
00:20:28,334 --> 00:20:31,043
I mean, I'd take sick ET over you.
485
00:20:31,043 --> 00:20:32,001
[chuckling continues]
486
00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:35,626
When you phone home, they're like,
"New phone, who dis?"
487
00:20:35,626 --> 00:20:38,168
'Cause you're so ugly. [chuckles]
488
00:20:38,168 --> 00:20:40,168
But speaking of the opposite of that,
489
00:20:40,168 --> 00:20:42,418
please give it up for our next contestant,
490
00:20:42,418 --> 00:20:44,834
my First Lady, Lucy Suwan.
491
00:20:44,834 --> 00:20:45,834
[all applauding]
492
00:20:45,834 --> 00:20:47,834
Wait, I have something to say.
493
00:20:47,834 --> 00:20:49,834
That's not her. Lucy is smoking hot.
494
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:51,793
- Hey, it's not your turn.
- That's her.
495
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:56,376
Lucy, while we were studying the chimps,
the men were studying us.
496
00:20:56,376 --> 00:20:58,376
Yeah, I've been to the zoo, Farrah.
497
00:20:58,376 --> 00:21:00,459
No, I found the chimp study.
498
00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:03,751
It wasn't Vicky's fault
that Project Ape Storm failed.
499
00:21:03,751 --> 00:21:06,376
The other scientists
were trying to turn us against each other.
500
00:21:06,376 --> 00:21:08,501
And these men are still doing it.
501
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:11,668
Farrah Braun doing a monologue
from Dunston Checks In, I guess.
502
00:21:11,668 --> 00:21:12,626
I was wrong.
503
00:21:12,626 --> 00:21:14,918
This stamp thing
isn't just a stupid distraction.
504
00:21:14,918 --> 00:21:17,668
It's a conscious effort
to keep us powerless.
505
00:21:17,668 --> 00:21:21,584
Oh heavens. My beloved wedge
is turning into a kitten heel.
506
00:21:21,584 --> 00:21:23,043
I don't collect ladies' shoes.
507
00:21:23,043 --> 00:21:26,918
You are a good role model
because you support other women,
508
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:29,918
no matter how much
of a banana they're being.
509
00:21:29,918 --> 00:21:31,501
You should be on that stamp.
510
00:21:31,501 --> 00:21:35,501
But I shouldn't be on it alone,
because we are united.
511
00:21:35,501 --> 00:21:37,376
No, you're-- You're not.
512
00:21:37,376 --> 00:21:39,334
[in feminine voice]
I should be on a stamp alone.
513
00:21:39,334 --> 00:21:40,709
I hate you all.
514
00:21:40,709 --> 00:21:42,751
Ignore her. We're all in this together,
515
00:21:42,751 --> 00:21:45,126
so we should all be on the stamp together.
516
00:21:45,126 --> 00:21:47,376
- Every woman in the city.
- Whoo-hoo!
517
00:21:47,376 --> 00:21:50,793
[all applauding and cheering]
518
00:21:50,793 --> 00:21:51,751
[joyful music playing]
519
00:21:51,751 --> 00:21:53,709
Farrah, I found you and me.
520
00:21:54,251 --> 00:21:55,084
[Dr. Braun] Aw.
521
00:21:55,876 --> 00:21:57,251
We're all on here.
522
00:21:58,084 --> 00:21:59,543
Wait a minute.
523
00:21:59,543 --> 00:22:00,543
[gasps, scoffs]
524
00:22:00,543 --> 00:22:01,543
It's Chuck Norris.
525
00:22:01,543 --> 00:22:04,626
LaMarr used our faces
to make a Chuck Norris stamp.
526
00:22:04,626 --> 00:22:07,001
- The guy from Sidekicks?
- [LaMarr] Huh.
527
00:22:07,001 --> 00:22:08,209
I don't see it.
528
00:22:08,209 --> 00:22:11,501
I sure hope this doesn't ruin
your little celebration.
529
00:22:11,501 --> 00:22:14,793
I am not celebrating Mr. Chuck Norris.
530
00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:17,209
He gave me a fake number
at a CableACE Awards after-party.
531
00:22:17,209 --> 00:22:19,834
[female TOD-209]
Being a woman is just no win,
532
00:22:19,834 --> 00:22:21,209
and TOD confused...
533
00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:22,626
[male TOD-209] ...enough as is.
534
00:22:23,459 --> 00:22:25,543
- Okay, makes sense.
- [groans] Yeah.
535
00:22:25,543 --> 00:22:27,793
[whimsical music playing]
536
00:22:27,793 --> 00:22:28,876
[indistinct chatter]
537
00:22:30,918 --> 00:22:33,084
Hey, thanks for helping me out
the other night.
538
00:22:33,084 --> 00:22:35,168
Insult humor. It is universal.
539
00:22:35,168 --> 00:22:38,751
This still doesn't make up
for you blowing up my entire planet,
540
00:22:38,751 --> 00:22:41,209
but, um, I owe you one.
541
00:22:42,584 --> 00:22:46,501
Actually, now that you mention it,
I could use some magnet wire...
542
00:22:47,459 --> 00:22:50,584
to build myself a robot to have sex with.
543
00:22:50,584 --> 00:22:51,501
For sex.
544
00:22:51,501 --> 00:22:52,459
In bed.
545
00:22:52,459 --> 00:22:53,793
[both chuckle]
546
00:22:53,793 --> 00:22:55,168
Oh man.
547
00:22:55,168 --> 00:22:56,168
Still got it.
548
00:22:56,168 --> 00:22:57,876
[Simon panting]
549
00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:00,126
You guys did the stamp contest without me?
550
00:23:00,126 --> 00:23:01,543
I'm pretty sure you were there.
551
00:23:01,543 --> 00:23:03,251
No, I wasn't.
552
00:23:03,251 --> 00:23:05,751
The... The zoo apes detained me
for trespassing.
553
00:23:05,751 --> 00:23:08,001
They're building a whole society
in Rock Creek Park,
554
00:23:08,001 --> 00:23:10,834
and someone taught them
to use flamethrowers.
555
00:23:10,834 --> 00:23:12,334
Oh my God!
556
00:23:12,334 --> 00:23:14,209
A stamp of Chuck Norris!
557
00:23:14,209 --> 00:23:16,876
[Simon sobbing]
558
00:23:16,876 --> 00:23:19,834
[whistling]
559
00:23:19,834 --> 00:23:22,168
And now, an editorial from our publisher.
560
00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:24,751
Vice President LaMarr is stupid.
561
00:23:24,751 --> 00:23:29,209
What in Billy Graham's boots and blazer
are you doing on the news?
562
00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:31,168
I own the news, CL.
563
00:23:31,959 --> 00:23:34,709
I gave this guy a new bike seat,
and now we're partners.
564
00:23:35,209 --> 00:23:38,751
You proved me right, Johnny.
My door is always open.
565
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:40,793
Now a political cartoon.
566
00:23:40,793 --> 00:23:44,418
There's a poop in a toilet,
and the poop says "LaMarr" on it.
567
00:23:44,418 --> 00:23:47,376
[chuckles] Freedom of the press.
568
00:23:47,376 --> 00:23:50,543
[Axatrax whistling]
569
00:23:51,126 --> 00:23:52,668
[Axatrax chuckles]
570
00:23:52,668 --> 00:23:54,626
"Nacho cheese."
571
00:23:54,626 --> 00:23:57,418
Humans are more interesting
than I thought.
572
00:23:57,418 --> 00:23:59,751
It will be a shame to annihilate
what's left of them.
573
00:23:59,751 --> 00:24:01,626
- What you got under there?
- Under where?
574
00:24:01,626 --> 00:24:03,334
[chuckles]
575
00:24:03,334 --> 00:24:05,001
I made you say underwear.
576
00:24:05,918 --> 00:24:09,418
Oh my God, he walked right into it.
What a doofus.
577
00:24:09,418 --> 00:24:12,043
Don't ask anyone, but I came up with that.
578
00:24:12,043 --> 00:24:13,626
[Axatrax chuckles]
579
00:24:13,626 --> 00:24:16,918
[whimsical music playing]
580
00:25:12,709 --> 00:25:14,626
[music ends]