1
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:11,251
[dramatic music plays]
2
00:00:11,251 --> 00:00:12,501
Thank you all for coming.
3
00:00:13,751 --> 00:00:14,876
{\an8}Let me just...
4
00:00:14,876 --> 00:00:16,626
Um... Ugh.
5
00:00:17,209 --> 00:00:21,918
Okay. Obviously, my administration
has been rocking ass.
6
00:00:21,918 --> 00:00:24,293
We've given everybody
a bunch of whale juice,
7
00:00:24,293 --> 00:00:26,001
thanks to First Lady Lucy.
8
00:00:26,001 --> 00:00:28,084
Whales are the lanterns of the sea.
9
00:00:28,084 --> 00:00:29,001
Mm-hmm.
10
00:00:29,001 --> 00:00:32,668
Also, our military's continuing
to clear the streets
11
00:00:32,668 --> 00:00:37,084
and safely dispose of any and all Dasani.
12
00:00:37,084 --> 00:00:39,001
Plus, we did a census.
13
00:00:39,001 --> 00:00:42,584
A grateful nation thanks, you know,
Hat and Glasses over there.
14
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:47,376
There are now 1,132 people left on Earth.
15
00:00:47,376 --> 00:00:50,876
And check this out.
It's, like, two chicks for every dude.
16
00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:53,209
You know, statistically speaking.
17
00:00:53,209 --> 00:00:55,376
I hope you had fun
with that bachelorette party.
18
00:00:55,376 --> 00:00:57,001
Too bad because I didn't.
19
00:00:57,001 --> 00:00:58,709
They made me do a dance
to get my hat back.
20
00:00:58,709 --> 00:01:02,001
My administration
is already using these datas
21
00:01:02,001 --> 00:01:03,709
to better serve you guys,
22
00:01:03,709 --> 00:01:06,918
which is why there is a party
at the White House later,
23
00:01:06,918 --> 00:01:09,168
and ladies will drink for free.
24
00:01:09,168 --> 00:01:11,084
No further questions. Thank you.
25
00:01:11,084 --> 00:01:12,459
What a scoop!
26
00:01:12,459 --> 00:01:14,501
Hey, guys, breaking news!
27
00:01:14,501 --> 00:01:17,209
The president said
a party's happening at the White House!
28
00:01:17,209 --> 00:01:19,126
There was a banner and everything!
29
00:01:19,126 --> 00:01:20,793
There's a party!
30
00:01:21,293 --> 00:01:24,334
[theme music playing]
31
00:01:31,293 --> 00:01:34,043
{\an8}[suspenseful music playing]
32
00:01:34,043 --> 00:01:35,668
{\an8}[foghorn blows]
33
00:01:35,668 --> 00:01:37,209
{\an8}[harp glissando]
34
00:01:37,209 --> 00:01:41,084
{\an8}Hey, is that Cartwright LaMarr,
or did Jane Lynch melt?
35
00:01:41,084 --> 00:01:46,209
{\an8}[chuckles] The aliens could not take away
your raffish wit, Mr. Zhao.
36
00:01:46,209 --> 00:01:49,959
{\an8}But Jane Lynch did indeed melt
on live television.
37
00:01:49,959 --> 00:01:52,334
[Zhao] Damn, that sucks.
38
00:01:52,334 --> 00:01:53,501
Push, Coleman.
39
00:01:53,501 --> 00:01:54,418
[Coleman grunts]
40
00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:57,459
All right, I'm ready
for some wining and dining, C.L.,
41
00:01:57,459 --> 00:01:59,751
so please tell me Vegas survived.
42
00:01:59,751 --> 00:02:02,876
I'm afraid Vegas got blowed up
along with the rest of the world.
43
00:02:02,876 --> 00:02:05,084
May what happened there
forever stay there.
44
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:07,418
But our fair district
can provide entertainments
45
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:09,626
befitting a man of your stature.
46
00:02:09,626 --> 00:02:11,709
You know,
thanks to the untimely 'splodin's
47
00:02:11,709 --> 00:02:13,709
of Messrs. Bezos and McDuck,
48
00:02:13,709 --> 00:02:16,126
you are now the richest man in the world.
49
00:02:17,084 --> 00:02:18,209
[Zhao] You hear that, ladies?
50
00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:22,709
You've all been secretly trying to poison
the richest man in the world.
51
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,709
I'll have 'em bring my car around.
52
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:28,043
Jasper, Banjo, Willy, Myrna, Moose,
53
00:02:28,043 --> 00:02:31,168
Beamer, Buckley, Reggie, Dash, Stumpy,
54
00:02:31,168 --> 00:02:34,709
Nibbles, Gator, Rascal, Snowy,
Dexter, and Bullet, come on!
55
00:02:34,709 --> 00:02:37,168
[dogs barking]
56
00:02:37,168 --> 00:02:38,584
[tense music playing]
57
00:02:38,584 --> 00:02:39,918
Yeehaw!
58
00:02:39,918 --> 00:02:40,959
Mush.
59
00:02:40,959 --> 00:02:44,084
[dogs continue barking]
60
00:02:45,209 --> 00:02:49,793
General, I want you to requisition
all available booze from the city.
61
00:02:49,793 --> 00:02:50,918
I've got a valid ID.
62
00:02:50,918 --> 00:02:54,668
But why would anyone card a 53-year-old
who lives at 130 Calvert Street?
63
00:02:54,668 --> 00:02:56,459
Yeah, what would be the point of that?
64
00:02:56,459 --> 00:02:59,459
TOD, get us as many shelf-stable dips
as you can find.
65
00:02:59,459 --> 00:03:01,376
I don't care what you have to do.
66
00:03:01,376 --> 00:03:03,459
[TOD-209] Berserker Mode activated.
67
00:03:04,376 --> 00:03:06,084
I think a party's a great idea.
68
00:03:06,084 --> 00:03:09,251
People deserve a night to just let loose,
maybe kiss someone,
69
00:03:09,251 --> 00:03:11,334
invent a dance
that starts off embarrassing,
70
00:03:11,334 --> 00:03:13,626
but then everybody does it
and they call it The Lucy.
71
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:16,126
I got invited to a party once,
but it turned out it was a bet.
72
00:03:16,126 --> 00:03:18,501
I just want one night
where nothing explodes,
73
00:03:18,501 --> 00:03:20,834
or turns to goo, or that happens.
74
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:22,793
- Oh, not again!
- [bats screeching]
75
00:03:22,793 --> 00:03:24,209
Look, no one likes a party pooper.
76
00:03:24,209 --> 00:03:26,334
Who told you that story?
Ah, shouldn't have said that.
77
00:03:26,334 --> 00:03:28,793
But is this really the best use
of our limited resources?
78
00:03:28,793 --> 00:03:30,459
- I mean, we've got to do something...
- Yawn.
79
00:03:30,459 --> 00:03:31,751
...about these alien corpses.
80
00:03:31,751 --> 00:03:34,793
Maybe it's gases cooling in their bodies,
but at night, they scream.
81
00:03:34,793 --> 00:03:36,251
[alien screams]
82
00:03:37,043 --> 00:03:37,918
[man] Shut up!
83
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,293
[woman] Good, yell at 'em. That'll help.
84
00:03:40,293 --> 00:03:41,209
[aliens screaming]
85
00:03:41,209 --> 00:03:42,501
But I gotta have a party.
86
00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:45,251
I mean, presidents throw ragers
when they take office, right?
87
00:03:45,251 --> 00:03:46,668
Back me up here, history buddy.
88
00:03:46,668 --> 00:03:50,418
Andrew Jackson opened up the White House
and served kegs of whiskey.
89
00:03:50,418 --> 00:03:52,001
But the place got trashed,
90
00:03:52,001 --> 00:03:55,168
so I think it'd be best
if we learned from those past mistakes--
91
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,584
You said it, kid.
92
00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:59,251
We gotta outdo Hugh Jackman's party.
93
00:03:59,251 --> 00:04:02,376
Oh, and hey, Braun, I have
a very important science job for you.
94
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:05,584
Yeah, if this is about putting sunglasses
on the moon, I'm looking into it.
95
00:04:05,584 --> 00:04:08,126
I need you to clean Axatrax's cube thing.
96
00:04:08,126 --> 00:04:09,793
It smells like butt.
97
00:04:09,793 --> 00:04:12,209
I don't want people
at the party puking, ya know?
98
00:04:12,209 --> 00:04:14,668
Except for party reasons.
99
00:04:14,668 --> 00:04:15,709
[sighs]
100
00:04:15,709 --> 00:04:18,168
Oh, make sure you science real good
around the dump bucket.
101
00:04:18,751 --> 00:04:19,584
[Simon yelps]
102
00:04:19,584 --> 00:04:23,251
Glad to hear you're, um, cool
with people hooking up at this party,
103
00:04:23,251 --> 00:04:27,001
'cause I plan to do a lot of that,
and I hope it doesn't make you jealous.
104
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,251
Nope. That's our deal.
105
00:04:28,251 --> 00:04:31,126
I just want everyone to have fun,
including you.
106
00:04:31,126 --> 00:04:34,001
Great. Yeah, if you're cool with it,
I am cold with it.
107
00:04:34,001 --> 00:04:35,168
Freezing even.
108
00:04:35,168 --> 00:04:37,501
I'm exhibiting the classic signs
of hypothermia.
109
00:04:37,501 --> 00:04:40,168
My fingers are black,
and I'm getting drowsy.
110
00:04:40,168 --> 00:04:42,418
They're not gonna find me till spring. Ha!
111
00:04:42,418 --> 00:04:45,459
[tender music playing]
112
00:04:46,626 --> 00:04:49,459
Mmm! This tastes terrible,
but I don't care.
113
00:04:49,459 --> 00:04:51,876
I've been eating nothing but manatee
for the last week.
114
00:04:51,876 --> 00:04:54,334
You know I love
to scratch your back, Johnny,
115
00:04:54,334 --> 00:04:58,334
but I find backscratching to be
far more pleasurable when it's mutual.
116
00:04:58,334 --> 00:05:00,668
Well, I've got some real long fingernails.
117
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:01,709
Oh!
118
00:05:01,709 --> 00:05:05,126
And I've got one itchy back.
119
00:05:05,126 --> 00:05:09,501
I'm pumped to see what you've got planned.
Our partnership has been very profitable.
120
00:05:09,501 --> 00:05:11,376
- [camera shutters clicking]
- [banjo playing]
121
00:05:11,376 --> 00:05:13,376
[LaMarr chuckles]
122
00:05:13,376 --> 00:05:15,293
That is one open factory.
123
00:05:15,293 --> 00:05:16,584
I love this country!
124
00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:18,501
Well, that was nothing.
125
00:05:18,501 --> 00:05:20,543
I've been a busy boy in the Senate,
126
00:05:20,543 --> 00:05:23,418
deregulating both willy and nilly.
127
00:05:23,418 --> 00:05:25,126
Goodbye, big government.
128
00:05:25,126 --> 00:05:28,251
It's just a teeny, tiny
little government now.
129
00:05:28,251 --> 00:05:29,918
It can fit in your pocket.
130
00:05:29,918 --> 00:05:31,501
Hey there, little guy.
131
00:05:31,501 --> 00:05:35,418
Why, you're just about the cutest
little government I ever done seen.
132
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,334
- Yes, you are.
- Let me hold him.
133
00:05:37,334 --> 00:05:41,084
What? No, I was just doing
a fun there, Johnny.
134
00:05:41,084 --> 00:05:45,043
The point is, we are on the precipice
of true, unfettered capitalism.
135
00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:47,418
Why, with my access and your money,
136
00:05:47,418 --> 00:05:50,459
the world will be our gooey, gooey oyster.
137
00:05:50,459 --> 00:05:51,376
[man] Wait, money?
138
00:05:51,376 --> 00:05:53,334
You don't think you're paying
with money, do you?
139
00:05:53,334 --> 00:05:56,584
Oh, but I insist. Times are tough.
140
00:05:56,584 --> 00:05:58,126
No, I mean, we don't accept money.
141
00:05:58,126 --> 00:05:59,959
You can't eat it or wear it--
142
00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:01,501
Don't accept money?
143
00:06:01,501 --> 00:06:03,959
What in God's gravy are you talking about?
144
00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:05,543
Yeah, there's prices on the menu.
145
00:06:05,543 --> 00:06:07,043
Those refer to kisses.
146
00:06:07,043 --> 00:06:09,626
And you owe 320.
147
00:06:11,251 --> 00:06:12,834
[crowd] Chug! Chug! Chug!
148
00:06:12,834 --> 00:06:15,251
- Yeah, I played a little semipro ball.
- [woman] Whoo!
149
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:17,376
Single-A Rockport Sea Pigs.
150
00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:19,168
People wanted to change the mascot,
151
00:06:19,168 --> 00:06:21,209
but it was based
on a real wharf prostitute.
152
00:06:21,209 --> 00:06:22,459
I mean, it's honoring her.
153
00:06:22,459 --> 00:06:23,709
[mascot groans]
154
00:06:23,709 --> 00:06:26,376
You boys like to party? Oh no, not again!
155
00:06:26,376 --> 00:06:27,293
[Simon chuckles]
156
00:06:27,293 --> 00:06:30,834
What's zup? Care to, uh, introduce me?
157
00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:34,876
Oh yeah, Simon, um, there actually
is someone I want you to meet.
158
00:06:34,876 --> 00:06:37,251
Good thing I've been practicing
my conversation starters.
159
00:06:37,251 --> 00:06:39,834
What do you ladies think
is the worst crime?
160
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,751
Here she is.
161
00:06:41,751 --> 00:06:42,668
[Matty chuckles]
162
00:06:42,668 --> 00:06:45,334
{\an8}Look, everyone,
Simon's in love with a book.
163
00:06:45,334 --> 00:06:46,918
What's wrong with loving a book?
164
00:06:46,918 --> 00:06:49,668
- Oh my God, he admitted it.
- [all chuckling]
165
00:06:49,668 --> 00:06:52,418
- That was, like, so funny.
- I know, right?
166
00:06:52,418 --> 00:06:53,459
Did Lucy see?
167
00:06:53,459 --> 00:06:54,668
[Lucy] Huh!
168
00:06:54,668 --> 00:06:57,709
Just a little housewarming gift.
It's a bowl.
169
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,043
That is classy. Thank you.
170
00:07:00,043 --> 00:07:02,084
I'll go put some shelf-stable dips in it.
171
00:07:02,584 --> 00:07:05,126
Missed you at the cabinet meeting
this morning, pal.
172
00:07:05,126 --> 00:07:07,293
Cabinet meetings are beneath us now.
173
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:10,501
You see, it occurred to us that since
every other English person is dead,
174
00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:12,126
us am now king.
175
00:07:12,126 --> 00:07:13,709
Oh, you think you're better than me?
176
00:07:13,709 --> 00:07:16,709
Yes, we are God's
Anglican emissary on Earth.
177
00:07:16,709 --> 00:07:18,293
We are also your DJ.
178
00:07:18,293 --> 00:07:22,418
We do hope you like white guys rapping
over drum and bass.
179
00:07:22,418 --> 00:07:24,751
I really do, a lot.
180
00:07:25,293 --> 00:07:27,459
[dramatic music plays]
181
00:07:27,459 --> 00:07:29,418
I apologize for the mess.
182
00:07:29,418 --> 00:07:33,543
It's quite hot down here,
and I've been molting more than usual.
183
00:07:33,543 --> 00:07:35,876
Oh, I'm used to messes.
I have two young boys.
184
00:07:35,876 --> 00:07:39,168
And in the '90s, I did an internship
at Lockheed in their Rocketeer division.
185
00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:42,793
[whooshing]
186
00:07:45,168 --> 00:07:49,084
Well, I'm sure you would much rather
be upstairs at the human mating ritual.
187
00:07:49,084 --> 00:07:51,876
Yeah, I think maybe
my mating days are behind me.
188
00:07:51,876 --> 00:07:54,793
Turns out there are now
two women for every man.
189
00:07:54,793 --> 00:07:57,043
But with your obvious intelligence,
190
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:59,709
don't you get to dictate
when and how you are fertilized?
191
00:07:59,709 --> 00:08:01,918
[scoffs] Wow, welcome to Earth.
192
00:08:01,918 --> 00:08:03,918
No, men here feel threatened
by a smart woman.
193
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:06,543
And once they put you in that box,
that's where you stay.
194
00:08:06,543 --> 00:08:08,751
They find you threatening
and put you in a box.
195
00:08:08,751 --> 00:08:10,043
What's that like?
196
00:08:10,043 --> 00:08:13,084
[both chuckle]
197
00:08:13,876 --> 00:08:15,459
I've always loved science.
198
00:08:15,459 --> 00:08:18,543
My first crush was Bunsen Honeydew
from the Muppets.
199
00:08:18,543 --> 00:08:21,084
But then I met him,
and he was really mean.
200
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:24,376
Fascinating. Women do that every month?
201
00:08:24,376 --> 00:08:26,084
How long do you get
to stay home from work?
202
00:08:26,084 --> 00:08:28,876
- Zero days, and you can't even mention it.
- Ugh.
203
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:32,001
I'd have to say my favorite movie
is The Shape of Water.
204
00:08:32,001 --> 00:08:35,084
It's about a woman
who works in a lab and falls for a--
205
00:08:35,084 --> 00:08:36,001
Nothing.
206
00:08:36,001 --> 00:08:38,126
It's about a woman in a lab and a nothing.
207
00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:40,126
Well, it sounds wonderful.
208
00:08:41,126 --> 00:08:44,834
Sir, we need to discuss
an urgent matter of monetary policy.
209
00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:46,709
Pass. Smell you never.
210
00:08:46,709 --> 00:08:48,084
Are you sure?
211
00:08:48,084 --> 00:08:50,126
'Cause I was just about
to give you a whiff
212
00:08:50,126 --> 00:08:52,168
of the richest man in the world.
213
00:08:52,168 --> 00:08:54,209
The Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase?
214
00:08:54,209 --> 00:08:57,793
No. Sir, a million dollars
is not a lot of money.
215
00:08:57,793 --> 00:08:59,918
And it's not a wrestler
from the '80s, man.
216
00:08:59,918 --> 00:09:04,293
It's me, Johnny Zhao,
your new biggest donor.
217
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,001
Whoa, that's more money
than I've ever seen.
218
00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:10,293
And me and some guys once robbed
the props truck from the movie, The Town.
219
00:09:10,293 --> 00:09:12,334
Uh-uh, guys, no work.
220
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:14,543
And no talking about Ben Affleck movies.
221
00:09:14,543 --> 00:09:16,709
But how great is it
that there'll never be another one?
222
00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:18,584
Luce, I'm gonna make it rain.
223
00:09:19,251 --> 00:09:22,084
- Ah, crap.
- I didn't realize people still used money.
224
00:09:22,084 --> 00:09:25,043
Well, don't you
just steal the shine from a penny.
225
00:09:25,043 --> 00:09:26,626
- [Simon] Actually, she's right.
- [gasps]
226
00:09:26,626 --> 00:09:28,751
- [Zhao] Floor Man!
- Sorry, my book fell. [grunts]
227
00:09:28,751 --> 00:09:30,834
During the census,
Dr. Braun and I discovered
228
00:09:30,834 --> 00:09:33,501
the country is largely operating
on a barter economy.
229
00:09:33,501 --> 00:09:36,334
Like, I got these Bagel Bites
by showing a nice man my feet,
230
00:09:36,334 --> 00:09:39,168
and when pizza's on a bagel,
you can eat pizza anytime.
231
00:09:39,168 --> 00:09:40,668
So I thought that was a good deal.
232
00:09:40,668 --> 00:09:43,793
Feet, kisses, foot kisses,
that's the new currency.
233
00:09:43,793 --> 00:09:46,168
Mr. President, this is precisely why
234
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:49,001
you need to make a strong statement
in support of the dollar,
235
00:09:49,001 --> 00:09:51,459
or else, well, Japan will eat us alive
236
00:09:51,459 --> 00:09:53,459
if it weren't
just a hole in the ocean now.
237
00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:56,918
Yeah, I don't know, dude.
I mean, what's money ever done for me?
238
00:09:56,918 --> 00:10:00,209
Growing up, we couldn't even afford
the splitter to steal cable.
239
00:10:00,209 --> 00:10:04,001
I'm ten years old, faking my way
through conversations about Arli$$.
240
00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:06,834
- Maybe we're better off without money.
- Better without money?
241
00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:08,709
America runs on money.
242
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:11,001
America runs on Dunkin'.
243
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:15,084
But we need a national currency.
That's how it's always been.
244
00:10:15,668 --> 00:10:16,709
Is that right, chief?
245
00:10:16,709 --> 00:10:20,459
[sighs] No, the US didn't have
a national currency until the Civil War.
246
00:10:20,459 --> 00:10:23,376
Executive order. Money is dumb.
247
00:10:23,376 --> 00:10:26,376
Hey, guys, no one needs money anymore!
248
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,001
- [crowd cheering]
- [heroic music plays]
249
00:10:29,459 --> 00:10:31,168
[TOD-209] What in wheelbarrow?
250
00:10:31,168 --> 00:10:32,751
Alien tissue samples.
251
00:10:32,751 --> 00:10:34,918
Did you know Axatrax molts?
252
00:10:34,918 --> 00:10:38,751
Like Jane Lynch on Kids' Choice Awards
turn into puddle?
253
00:10:38,751 --> 00:10:41,126
[chuckles] No, TOD, molt.
254
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,959
{\an8}[TOD-209] Norepinephrine levels elevated.
255
00:10:43,959 --> 00:10:45,543
Why hormone spike?
256
00:10:45,543 --> 00:10:48,293
Oh, that? No, I was just talking.
257
00:10:48,293 --> 00:10:50,001
With someone. A guy.
258
00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:52,501
TOD thought doctor gave up on men.
259
00:10:52,501 --> 00:10:54,251
Oh, I did, but he's not a man.
260
00:10:54,251 --> 00:10:55,668
I mean, not your typical man.
261
00:10:55,668 --> 00:10:58,959
Whatever. I like talking to him, okay?
I mean, he's not my soulmate.
262
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,209
TOD had soulmate once?
263
00:11:01,209 --> 00:11:02,209
[bubbling]
264
00:11:02,209 --> 00:11:03,126
[dramatic sting]
265
00:11:03,126 --> 00:11:04,418
[woman chuckling]
266
00:11:04,418 --> 00:11:05,334
[dramatic sting]
267
00:11:05,334 --> 00:11:06,501
[applauds]
268
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:11,209
[Dr. Braun] ...attractive,
but a guy like Simon looks nice--
269
00:11:11,959 --> 00:11:13,334
TOD, are you even listening?
270
00:11:13,334 --> 00:11:15,584
Huh? Yes. Guy.
271
00:11:15,584 --> 00:11:18,334
Wow, even you can't be bothered
to pay attention.
272
00:11:18,334 --> 00:11:20,543
Humans... I mean, men.
273
00:11:21,584 --> 00:11:23,834
Was TOD a man?
274
00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:27,334
♪ You get up in my face
I drop you like this bass ♪
275
00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:31,043
That's where the bass drops.
We need electricity.
276
00:11:31,043 --> 00:11:33,251
Mr. Zhao-- Johnny, wait, please.
277
00:11:33,251 --> 00:11:35,251
This is just a minor little baby hiccough.
278
00:11:35,251 --> 00:11:38,459
"I'm LaMarr. I got plans. I'm sneaky."
279
00:11:38,459 --> 00:11:41,126
"Oh wait, I forgot to make sure
money still matters."
280
00:11:41,126 --> 00:11:42,209
"I'm dumb."
281
00:11:42,209 --> 00:11:43,543
That's what you sound like.
282
00:11:43,543 --> 00:11:45,334
- Oh, please, Johnny--
- [Zhao gasps]
283
00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:47,293
Ah! They're burning money?
284
00:11:47,293 --> 00:11:48,501
[Zhao] Ugh!
285
00:11:48,501 --> 00:11:52,293
This is what I get
for working with a vice president.
286
00:11:52,293 --> 00:11:53,959
It's like Cheney all over again.
287
00:11:53,959 --> 00:11:55,418
Access doesn't matter
288
00:11:55,418 --> 00:11:58,876
if the main guy just wants to paint
doggies in the bathtub.
289
00:11:58,876 --> 00:12:00,084
I need a drink.
290
00:12:00,084 --> 00:12:02,501
- [Jeremy] ♪ What? What? Get noisy ♪
- [LaMarr sighs]
291
00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:07,084
{\an8}Oh goodness, I do beg your pardon,
Mr. Rooster.
292
00:12:07,084 --> 00:12:09,459
{\an8}I'm clumsier than a virgin
on his wedding night
293
00:12:09,459 --> 00:12:12,126
{\an8}trying to shimmy out of a bathroom window.
294
00:12:12,126 --> 00:12:13,918
[grunts]
295
00:12:16,376 --> 00:12:19,751
- [Dr. Braun knocks on glass] Knock, knock.
- Well, this is a pleasant surprise.
296
00:12:19,751 --> 00:12:22,001
I realized I did all the talking earlier.
297
00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:24,584
And there's so much
I wanna know about you.
298
00:12:24,584 --> 00:12:25,626
For science.
299
00:12:25,626 --> 00:12:27,959
Such an inquisitive mind.
300
00:12:27,959 --> 00:12:29,459
You know, on Cardi-B,
301
00:12:29,459 --> 00:12:32,459
brains are appreciated
the way humans appreciate butts.
302
00:12:32,459 --> 00:12:34,709
I'd like to hear more about that planet.
303
00:12:35,293 --> 00:12:39,043
I could tell you, but there could be
a way for me to show you.
304
00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:42,126
My species is capable
of a kind of mind-meld.
305
00:12:42,126 --> 00:12:44,709
But it only works if there's
a strong emotional connection
306
00:12:44,709 --> 00:12:46,376
between the two participants,
307
00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:48,793
along with intense
uninterrupted eye contact.
308
00:12:48,793 --> 00:12:50,918
[giggles] Anything for science.
309
00:12:50,918 --> 00:12:52,251
- [keypad chimes]
- [lock unlocks]
310
00:12:52,251 --> 00:12:54,084
[whimsical music playing]
311
00:12:58,876 --> 00:13:01,126
[swelling sting]
312
00:13:01,751 --> 00:13:03,751
[adventurous music playing]
313
00:13:06,001 --> 00:13:09,751
♪ Let me show you my world ♪
314
00:13:09,751 --> 00:13:13,459
♪ Aboard this coal-powered Gorp craft ♪
315
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,626
♪ Tell me, Doctor ♪
316
00:13:15,626 --> 00:13:20,334
♪ Is it odd to see our mountains mutate? ♪
317
00:13:20,918 --> 00:13:24,543
♪ Coal fuels all of our stuff ♪
318
00:13:24,543 --> 00:13:28,001
♪ Our trees, they will try to eat you ♪
319
00:13:28,001 --> 00:13:30,626
♪ Massive work slugs ♪
320
00:13:30,626 --> 00:13:31,626
♪ Our pee's blue ♪
321
00:13:31,626 --> 00:13:34,459
This part's too hard to translate ♪
322
00:13:34,459 --> 00:13:38,959
♪ Chack-ack-ack-skree ♪
323
00:13:38,959 --> 00:13:41,918
♪ Your birds have millions of eyes ♪
324
00:13:41,918 --> 00:13:46,626
♪ Chack-ack-ack-skree ♪
325
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,501
♪ You guys also have jean shorts ♪
326
00:13:49,501 --> 00:13:53,501
♪ I'll take you there someday ♪
327
00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:57,043
♪ We'll find a way ♪
328
00:13:57,043 --> 00:14:00,668
♪ To get some coal
To fuel my landing craft ♪
329
00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:01,959
♪ You'll love my world ♪
330
00:14:01,959 --> 00:14:03,626
♪ I love your world ♪
331
00:14:03,626 --> 00:14:08,084
♪ Chack-ack-ack-skree ♪
332
00:14:08,084 --> 00:14:09,334
[Axatrax] ♪ We'll see it all ♪
333
00:14:09,334 --> 00:14:11,043
♪ It's always fall ♪
334
00:14:11,043 --> 00:14:18,126
- ♪ On Cardi-B ♪
- ♪ On Cardi-B ♪
335
00:14:20,084 --> 00:14:21,626
[both moaning]
336
00:14:22,626 --> 00:14:23,668
[Dr. Braun] Mmm.
337
00:14:23,668 --> 00:14:25,959
No, we can't do this.
338
00:14:26,543 --> 00:14:28,209
Axatrax, say something.
339
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:31,251
- [neck crackles]
- [Dr. Braun] Ugh!
340
00:14:31,251 --> 00:14:35,168
Goddamn it!
Bunsen Honeydew was right about me.
341
00:14:35,168 --> 00:14:36,209
[harp glissando]
342
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,418
Well, thank you very much, sir.
343
00:14:38,418 --> 00:14:40,459
Oh, we're doing sarcastic thank-yous?
344
00:14:40,459 --> 00:14:42,543
Thank you for interrupting.
345
00:14:42,543 --> 00:14:45,626
You have made
a non-corned beef hash of my plans.
346
00:14:45,626 --> 00:14:47,293
- [rock music plays]
- [dramatic sting]
347
00:14:47,293 --> 00:14:50,418
{\an8}I'm sorry. Mr. President, Mrs. Rooster.
348
00:14:50,418 --> 00:14:51,626
[indistinct chatter]
349
00:14:51,626 --> 00:14:53,001
That guy's, like, my butler.
350
00:14:53,584 --> 00:14:54,418
[screams]
351
00:14:54,418 --> 00:14:57,626
Oh, that chandelier
was lovingly restored by James Buchanan
352
00:14:57,626 --> 00:14:59,668
and his companion
William Rufus DeVane King.
353
00:14:59,668 --> 00:15:02,251
Oh no, is Professor Dorkington
354
00:15:02,251 --> 00:15:04,876
worried the party is too awesome?
355
00:15:04,876 --> 00:15:07,918
- [Matty grunts]
- [all chuckling]
356
00:15:07,918 --> 00:15:09,793
Ah, he's so pissed.
357
00:15:09,793 --> 00:15:11,293
You're hilarious.
358
00:15:11,293 --> 00:15:14,168
So would you like to see
the Situation Room?
359
00:15:14,168 --> 00:15:17,376
Maybe make it the Adult Situation Room?
360
00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:20,168
But aren't you, like,
married to that Lucy lady?
361
00:15:20,168 --> 00:15:22,918
Yeah, but the First Lady is cool with it.
362
00:15:22,918 --> 00:15:25,043
[Jeremy] Rap, rap, rap ♪
363
00:15:25,043 --> 00:15:29,334
And I'm so cold, they're gonna cut
my toes off at the hospital. Let's go.
364
00:15:29,334 --> 00:15:32,209
♪ I like to rhyme hip-hop
Like horses go clip-clop ♪
365
00:15:32,209 --> 00:15:35,043
♪ At Newmarket, Aintree
Cheltenham, and Ascot ♪
366
00:15:35,043 --> 00:15:36,668
♪ What? ♪
367
00:15:36,668 --> 00:15:38,584
- [crowd clamoring]
- [Lucy yelps]
368
00:15:39,168 --> 00:15:42,918
Hey, everyone, it's a new dance.
Do the First Lady.
369
00:15:42,918 --> 00:15:44,584
Yeah, everybody, do The Me!
370
00:15:44,584 --> 00:15:46,584
[all cheering]
371
00:15:46,584 --> 00:15:48,668
{\an8}[whimsical music plays]
372
00:15:48,668 --> 00:15:53,293
Mr. Zhao... Johnny, what if the president
were to become incapacitated,
373
00:15:53,293 --> 00:15:55,543
and then I, I say I,
374
00:15:55,543 --> 00:15:58,418
became president of these United States?
375
00:15:59,043 --> 00:15:59,876
[Zhao] Hmm.
376
00:16:02,668 --> 00:16:03,793
Come on, Simon.
377
00:16:03,793 --> 00:16:05,751
No upside-down smiles tonight
378
00:16:05,751 --> 00:16:08,584
unless you're that guy the aliens
did all those experiments on.
379
00:16:08,584 --> 00:16:11,334
Uh, I can hear you!
380
00:16:11,334 --> 00:16:13,126
I'm so mad at Matty.
381
00:16:13,126 --> 00:16:14,918
He makes me just wanna pick up a rock
382
00:16:14,918 --> 00:16:18,084
and polish it
until it's beautiful and shiny. [sighs]
383
00:16:18,084 --> 00:16:19,751
Or maybe I'm just mad at myself.
384
00:16:19,751 --> 00:16:21,001
Because you bought that hat?
385
00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:22,501
Because I'm doing what I always do.
386
00:16:22,501 --> 00:16:25,376
My whole life, I've let jocks like Matty
take advantage of me.
387
00:16:25,376 --> 00:16:27,959
When they need my brain, they're all,
"Thanks, you're the best."
388
00:16:27,959 --> 00:16:31,793
But the second other people are around,
I'm nothing but a jape to them.
389
00:16:31,793 --> 00:16:33,084
A jape!
390
00:16:33,084 --> 00:16:36,751
Santayana said, "If we don't know history,
we are doomed to repeat it."
391
00:16:36,751 --> 00:16:38,501
But I do know history,
392
00:16:38,501 --> 00:16:41,793
and yet I just keep making
the same mistakes.
393
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:45,418
Hey, I love Santana,
especially his stuff with Rob Thomas.
394
00:16:45,418 --> 00:16:47,626
Looks like someone's
cooler than they thought.
395
00:16:47,626 --> 00:16:48,834
[Simon sighs]
396
00:16:49,584 --> 00:16:53,918
Ugh! The Shape of Water sure romanticizes
falling in love with a lab creature.
397
00:16:53,918 --> 00:16:55,084
Thanks, Hollywood.
398
00:16:55,084 --> 00:16:58,084
Love. TOD knew love once.
399
00:17:00,418 --> 00:17:01,251
[snapping fingers]
400
00:17:01,251 --> 00:17:03,084
Earth to TOD!
401
00:17:03,084 --> 00:17:06,418
Wow. Sure, I listen to everyone else's
stories and problems,
402
00:17:06,418 --> 00:17:09,043
but no one... listens!
403
00:17:09,043 --> 00:17:13,126
[gasps] I listened to Axatrax.
I listened to the whole song.
404
00:17:13,126 --> 00:17:15,418
[TOD-209] There was a song? When?
405
00:17:15,418 --> 00:17:16,959
I think I know where he's going.
406
00:17:16,959 --> 00:17:20,043
Pigeon I accidentally stepped on?
Stepped-on pigeon, anybody?
407
00:17:20,043 --> 00:17:22,834
Great party. I haven't thought once about
408
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,376
how my husband got crushed
by the Washington Monument.
409
00:17:25,376 --> 00:17:26,626
What husband?
410
00:17:26,626 --> 00:17:28,168
Whoo-hoo!
411
00:17:28,959 --> 00:17:30,126
[gulping]
412
00:17:30,126 --> 00:17:31,209
[LaMarr sighs]
413
00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:34,793
Boy, that president of ours
sure is one hellion.
414
00:17:34,793 --> 00:17:37,251
Why, he's in the Red Room right now
415
00:17:37,251 --> 00:17:40,293
with a constituent
who is not his first lady.
416
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:42,459
Their tongues look like
two Cherrystone clams
417
00:17:42,459 --> 00:17:44,543
in a pot of Frogmore Stew.
418
00:17:44,543 --> 00:17:46,626
I do wish he'd be more discreet though.
419
00:17:46,626 --> 00:17:48,876
If the young lady's short pants
are to be trusted,
420
00:17:48,876 --> 00:17:51,543
she appears to be
the property of a Rooster.
421
00:17:51,543 --> 00:17:52,751
[Rooster] Huh? [grunts]
422
00:17:53,293 --> 00:17:54,709
- Door kick!
- Uh-oh.
423
00:17:54,709 --> 00:17:57,376
Hey, pal, kinda
in the middle of something here-- [yelps]
424
00:17:57,959 --> 00:18:00,209
You and me, outside, now!
425
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:01,709
Kill him, Rooster.
426
00:18:02,293 --> 00:18:04,043
Uh... [gulps]
427
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:08,209
[Axatrax whistling]
428
00:18:08,209 --> 00:18:10,501
- Going somewhere?
- Hey, there you are.
429
00:18:10,501 --> 00:18:14,376
After our mind-meld,
I was like, "Where's Farrah?" And...
430
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:16,043
How did you find me?
431
00:18:16,043 --> 00:18:18,751
I knew you needed coal
to power your landing craft.
432
00:18:18,751 --> 00:18:20,543
Stupid informative song.
433
00:18:20,543 --> 00:18:23,751
And, thanks to a truly terrible
field trip with my kids,
434
00:18:23,751 --> 00:18:25,626
I knew that the Capitol Power Plant
435
00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:28,543
was the only place
within 100 miles that would have any.
436
00:18:28,543 --> 00:18:33,251
So I followed you right to your only means
of escaping Earth.
437
00:18:34,334 --> 00:18:36,626
You are a remarkable creature.
438
00:18:37,209 --> 00:18:39,168
- What if you came with me?
- Oh. [scoffs]
439
00:18:39,168 --> 00:18:42,043
I know you have no reason to trust me,
but the connection we had--
440
00:18:42,043 --> 00:18:44,501
- It doesn't matter.
- It's all that matters.
441
00:18:44,501 --> 00:18:46,584
I can take you away from all this, Farrah.
442
00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:49,584
- I can take you to Cardi-B.
- [enchanting music playing]
443
00:18:50,418 --> 00:18:51,918
Let me see it again.
444
00:18:55,459 --> 00:18:57,376
♪ Chack-ack-ack-skree ♪
445
00:18:57,376 --> 00:18:58,918
♪ The mountains are square now ♪
446
00:18:58,918 --> 00:19:00,918
♪ Chack-ack-ack-skree ♪
447
00:19:00,918 --> 00:19:02,709
♪ They're covered in hair now ♪
448
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:04,543
♪ And if you come with me-- ♪
449
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:05,834
TOD, now!
450
00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:07,209
[gun cocks]
451
00:19:07,209 --> 00:19:08,293
Clever girl.
452
00:19:08,293 --> 00:19:10,834
Hey, were you gonna brain me with a rock?
453
00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:12,084
What? No.
454
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:15,584
Rocks are a delicacy on my planet.
455
00:19:15,584 --> 00:19:17,084
[chomps]
456
00:19:17,084 --> 00:19:18,501
Mm-mm!
457
00:19:18,501 --> 00:19:19,751
[gulps] Ugh.
458
00:19:19,751 --> 00:19:22,501
They're so good here.
I think it's the water.
459
00:19:22,501 --> 00:19:24,376
[indistinct chatter, laughing]
460
00:19:24,376 --> 00:19:25,293
[Simon gasps]
461
00:19:25,293 --> 00:19:27,168
You gotta help me.
That guy's gonna kill me.
462
00:19:27,168 --> 00:19:28,418
- [Rooster grunting]
- [cheering]
463
00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:30,459
- Then don't fight him.
- I have to.
464
00:19:30,459 --> 00:19:32,626
If I don't fight, I'll look like a you.
465
00:19:32,626 --> 00:19:35,126
And, I mean,
have you seen yourself? It sucks.
466
00:19:35,126 --> 00:19:36,834
No, I'm done.
467
00:19:36,834 --> 00:19:40,126
I'm done bailing out the cool guys
just so they can treat me like garbage.
468
00:19:40,126 --> 00:19:41,209
Please.
469
00:19:41,209 --> 00:19:42,834
This was supposed to be the party
470
00:19:42,834 --> 00:19:44,876
where I don't get the crap
kicked out of me.
471
00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:46,626
What are you talking about?
472
00:19:46,626 --> 00:19:48,918
Dude, I was never the cool guy.
473
00:19:48,918 --> 00:19:51,251
I was the jerk who crashed the party,
474
00:19:51,251 --> 00:19:54,251
got hammered, and then got thrown
in the river by some girl's brother.
475
00:19:54,251 --> 00:19:55,793
The whole point of this party was--
476
00:19:55,793 --> 00:19:58,959
Wait! Where's everyone going?
I just stepped on another pigeon.
477
00:19:59,751 --> 00:20:01,459
I want things to be different now, Simon.
478
00:20:01,459 --> 00:20:03,918
So I cannot go out there
479
00:20:03,918 --> 00:20:07,043
and get humiliated
in front of the whole damn country.
480
00:20:07,793 --> 00:20:09,334
[sighs] Uh...
481
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:13,251
Look, if I do help you, it's not gonna be
how other presidents did it.
482
00:20:13,251 --> 00:20:14,959
We have to break with the past,
483
00:20:14,959 --> 00:20:18,168
so you're not just gonna
distract everyone by, say,
484
00:20:18,168 --> 00:20:19,668
starting an unnecessary war--
485
00:20:19,668 --> 00:20:23,001
- Yes, a war! That's a great idea!
- [patriotic music plays]
486
00:20:23,001 --> 00:20:24,543
But who can we have a war with?
487
00:20:24,543 --> 00:20:26,668
Scat, scat, scrappity flap ♪
488
00:20:26,668 --> 00:20:28,543
♪ You are listening to a good scat rap ♪
489
00:20:28,543 --> 00:20:31,959
Our old enemy, the hated British.
490
00:20:31,959 --> 00:20:36,001
That was a long time ago.
They fought with us in both World Wars.
491
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:39,126
Exactly, they fought with us.
We're saying the same thing.
492
00:20:39,126 --> 00:20:40,084
General?
493
00:20:40,084 --> 00:20:41,668
What? I've had beers before.
494
00:20:41,668 --> 00:20:44,584
I want you to fire a missile
at the British Embassy.
495
00:20:44,584 --> 00:20:45,668
We're at war.
496
00:20:45,668 --> 00:20:46,876
[burps]
497
00:20:46,876 --> 00:20:49,043
[patriotic music continues]
498
00:20:49,043 --> 00:20:50,084
Ah!
499
00:20:51,626 --> 00:20:53,168
I'm sorry I took advantage of you.
500
00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:55,543
Well, I'm sorry
I let you eat that whole rock.
501
00:20:55,543 --> 00:20:57,084
- No, you're not.
- Actually, I'm not.
502
00:20:57,084 --> 00:20:59,043
But I was desperate.
503
00:20:59,043 --> 00:21:01,709
Locked in that cube all day, all alone.
504
00:21:01,709 --> 00:21:05,084
And now that TOD-209
has destroyed my landing craft...
505
00:21:05,084 --> 00:21:07,626
[TOD-209] Die. Die. Die.
506
00:21:07,626 --> 00:21:09,459
[robotic laughter]
507
00:21:09,459 --> 00:21:10,751
...I'm stuck here.
508
00:21:10,751 --> 00:21:13,668
Do you really have to put me back
in that hot containment unit?
509
00:21:13,668 --> 00:21:15,584
The constant molting is quite painful.
510
00:21:15,584 --> 00:21:17,918
Yeah, you know what's painful?
Vaginal birth.
511
00:21:17,918 --> 00:21:19,334
That's where it comes out of?
512
00:21:19,334 --> 00:21:22,168
- [crowd chanting] Fight! Fight! Fight!
- What the hell is going on?
513
00:21:22,168 --> 00:21:24,918
I'm about to take
the "dent" from "president"
514
00:21:24,918 --> 00:21:27,126
and put it in your face, pal.
515
00:21:27,126 --> 00:21:31,834
Unless something huge happens
that distracts everyone. Right now.
516
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:35,709
[sighs]
Man, this is got a lots of buttons.
517
00:21:35,709 --> 00:21:37,251
Who wants to bet on the fight?
518
00:21:37,251 --> 00:21:38,959
Fifty kisses on the president.
519
00:21:38,959 --> 00:21:41,543
Ugh, never mind. This is so stupid.
520
00:21:41,543 --> 00:21:45,251
It is not even a party without two guys
fighting over a girl, right? [chuckles]
521
00:21:45,251 --> 00:21:47,043
One time, my high school boyfriend
522
00:21:47,043 --> 00:21:49,251
put a guy in the hospital
for hitting on me.
523
00:21:49,251 --> 00:21:50,626
And it was his dad.
524
00:21:50,626 --> 00:21:52,918
Cool. I went to prom with my grandma.
525
00:21:54,001 --> 00:21:55,709
[grunts]
526
00:21:55,709 --> 00:21:57,584
- [rock music plays]
- [dramatic sting]
527
00:21:57,584 --> 00:21:58,501
Oh crap.
528
00:21:58,501 --> 00:22:01,626
Come on, General Scarpaccio, hurry up.
Thank you for your service.
529
00:22:02,376 --> 00:22:04,834
So you know, the president is trying
to start a war with Britain
530
00:22:04,834 --> 00:22:06,418
to get out of fighting this guy
531
00:22:06,418 --> 00:22:09,376
because nothing ever changes.
532
00:22:09,376 --> 00:22:10,293
Huh.
533
00:22:10,293 --> 00:22:15,043
Mama, lock up your horn,
'cause someone's gone swoggled it.
534
00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:18,126
[TOD-209] Mr. President,
do you require assistance?
535
00:22:18,126 --> 00:22:20,626
Not even. This guy's meat.
536
00:22:20,626 --> 00:22:24,084
It really is not good for me
to be so close to this heat source.
537
00:22:24,084 --> 00:22:27,126
Aw, is poor baby gonna molt?
Why don't you sing a song about it?
538
00:22:27,126 --> 00:22:30,084
[TOD-209]
Sir, your norepinephrine levels are high.
539
00:22:30,084 --> 00:22:32,084
Did you also fall in love with an alien?
540
00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:33,251
- Shut up, TOD!
- Shut up, TOD!
541
00:22:33,251 --> 00:22:36,334
Enough jawing.
Are we gonna do this or what?
542
00:22:36,334 --> 00:22:38,084
- [crowd clamoring]
- [upbeat music playing]
543
00:22:38,084 --> 00:22:39,043
[Scarpaccio] Er...
544
00:22:39,043 --> 00:22:40,543
[mechanical whirring]
545
00:22:42,376 --> 00:22:44,459
[dramatic music playing]
546
00:22:45,793 --> 00:22:47,084
[Axatrax screeches]
547
00:22:48,168 --> 00:22:50,334
[screeching continues]
548
00:22:50,334 --> 00:22:52,834
Hey, the alien is inventing a new dance!
549
00:22:52,834 --> 00:22:55,334
Everyone do The Alien!
550
00:22:55,334 --> 00:22:58,418
- [Axatrax grunts]
- [crowd screams]
551
00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,668
No! No, no, no, don't leave!
552
00:23:00,668 --> 00:23:01,668
Why's it doing that?
553
00:23:01,668 --> 00:23:05,001
[screams]
554
00:23:05,001 --> 00:23:07,626
Now that's what I call a home run.
555
00:23:07,626 --> 00:23:09,876
Ah, "Run home." Shoot, it was right there.
556
00:23:09,876 --> 00:23:10,959
[continues screeching]
557
00:23:10,959 --> 00:23:13,418
Look away! This is private!
558
00:23:13,418 --> 00:23:15,751
[dramatic music building]
559
00:23:17,334 --> 00:23:19,001
[gasps] That's where it comes out of?
560
00:23:19,584 --> 00:23:21,293
- [Matty] Oh sick.
- [missiles detonate]
561
00:23:23,209 --> 00:23:24,334
[Scarpaccio] Got it!
562
00:23:25,084 --> 00:23:25,918
[LaMarr sighs]
563
00:23:25,918 --> 00:23:28,043
Worst war ever.
564
00:23:29,251 --> 00:23:30,334
[banjo strum]
565
00:23:30,334 --> 00:23:33,543
- [depressing music plays]
- [Axatrax panting]
566
00:23:33,543 --> 00:23:35,751
That was actually an easy one.
567
00:23:35,751 --> 00:23:39,751
Yeah, maybe we should get Axatrax
out of that hot basement
568
00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:42,126
so this doesn't keep happening.
569
00:23:42,126 --> 00:23:43,418
But won't he run off?
570
00:23:43,418 --> 00:23:48,043
A creature of his intelligence
knows there's no way off the planet.
571
00:23:48,043 --> 00:23:50,209
Worst party ever.
572
00:23:50,209 --> 00:23:51,793
And I once went to a wedding
573
00:23:51,793 --> 00:23:54,668
where the bride rode in
on a regular orange tiger.
574
00:23:54,668 --> 00:23:58,084
No. Remember when
we were all doing The Alien? That was fun.
575
00:23:58,084 --> 00:24:00,543
Please, Axatrax was just ripping off
576
00:24:00,543 --> 00:24:02,793
Patrick Dempsey's dance
in Can't Buy Me Love.
577
00:24:02,793 --> 00:24:03,834
We're done, LaMarr.
578
00:24:03,834 --> 00:24:06,001
I'm taking my talents to South Beach,
579
00:24:06,001 --> 00:24:08,251
except South Beach
is just a glowing pit now,
580
00:24:08,251 --> 00:24:10,501
which is an improvement.
581
00:24:10,501 --> 00:24:11,501
[LaMarr sighs]
582
00:24:11,501 --> 00:24:14,709
Mr. President, your monetary policy
583
00:24:14,709 --> 00:24:17,376
is positively insane in its very membrane.
584
00:24:17,376 --> 00:24:20,918
However, I'm more than impressed
with how you handled
585
00:24:20,918 --> 00:24:22,959
that sticky situation with Rooster.
586
00:24:22,959 --> 00:24:25,126
A war on England. [chuckles]
587
00:24:25,126 --> 00:24:28,209
I should've just fought him.
I mean, you see how scared he was of me?
588
00:24:28,209 --> 00:24:30,459
Rooster? More like scaredy-bird.
589
00:24:30,459 --> 00:24:31,668
Right?
590
00:24:31,668 --> 00:24:34,001
Oh, chicken. Ah, damn it.
591
00:24:34,001 --> 00:24:35,418
Well said, sir.
592
00:24:35,418 --> 00:24:37,959
We may make a president of you yet.
593
00:24:37,959 --> 00:24:42,001
Am I the only one who realizes
the significance of what happened here?
594
00:24:42,001 --> 00:24:45,418
Tonight, we saw a US president
get out of trouble
595
00:24:45,418 --> 00:24:49,459
in a way that has certainly
never happened before.
596
00:24:49,459 --> 00:24:50,376
Which means...
597
00:24:50,376 --> 00:24:52,876
We did it different.
598
00:24:52,876 --> 00:24:54,126
USA.
599
00:24:54,126 --> 00:24:56,293
Huh, okay, baby steps.
600
00:24:56,293 --> 00:24:59,918
What? No, this isn't a good thing.
My party ended up sucking.
601
00:24:59,918 --> 00:25:02,293
And has that ever happened before?
602
00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:04,084
No. Wow.
603
00:25:04,084 --> 00:25:05,543
Take that, history.
604
00:25:05,543 --> 00:25:07,293
You're never gonna happen again.
605
00:25:07,293 --> 00:25:08,501
[missile detonates]
606
00:25:10,001 --> 00:25:11,959
Guys, there was one more.
607
00:25:11,959 --> 00:25:15,001
Yeesh. I forgot the moon was broken.
608
00:25:15,001 --> 00:25:16,668
Thanks a lot, Axatrax.
609
00:25:16,668 --> 00:25:18,418
[in high-pitched voice] Did I do that?
610
00:25:18,418 --> 00:25:19,501
[all chuckle]
611
00:25:19,501 --> 00:25:20,543
Urkel!
612
00:25:21,209 --> 00:25:22,709
Why are you laughing at me?
613
00:25:22,709 --> 00:25:25,418
The molting strains...
[in high-pitched voice] ...my vocal cords.
614
00:25:25,418 --> 00:25:27,501
[all continue chuckling]
615
00:25:27,501 --> 00:25:29,293
- [Matty] Oh, classic.
- [Lucy] Dork.
616
00:25:29,293 --> 00:25:30,251
Oh.
617
00:25:30,251 --> 00:25:31,876
We have a good time, don't we?
618
00:25:31,876 --> 00:25:35,543
[Axatrax] ♪ Let me show you my world ♪
619
00:25:35,543 --> 00:25:39,251
♪ Aboard this coal-powered Gorp craft ♪
620
00:25:39,251 --> 00:25:41,376
♪ Tell me, Doctor ♪
621
00:25:41,376 --> 00:25:46,876
♪ Is it odd to see our mountains mutate? ♪
622
00:25:46,876 --> 00:25:50,209
♪ Coal fuels all of our stuff ♪
623
00:25:50,209 --> 00:25:53,876
♪ Our trees, they will try to eat you ♪
624
00:25:53,876 --> 00:25:56,501
♪ Massive work slugs ♪
625
00:25:56,501 --> 00:25:57,459
♪ Our pee's blue ♪
626
00:25:57,459 --> 00:26:00,251
♪ This part's too hard to translate ♪
627
00:26:00,251 --> 00:26:04,876
♪ Chack-ack-ack-skree ♪
628
00:26:04,876 --> 00:26:07,876
[Dr. Braun]
♪ Your birds have millions of eyes ♪
629
00:26:07,876 --> 00:26:11,876
[Axatrax] ♪ Chack-ack-ack-skree ♪
630
00:26:12,459 --> 00:26:15,876
[Dr. Braun]
♪ You guys also have jean shorts ♪
631
00:26:15,876 --> 00:26:18,876
[Axatrax] ♪ I'll take you there someday ♪
632
00:26:19,459 --> 00:26:22,876
♪ We'll find a way ♪
633
00:26:22,876 --> 00:26:26,876
{\an8}♪ To get some coal
To fuel my landing craft ♪
634
00:26:26,876 --> 00:26:30,876
{\an8}- ♪ You'll love my world ♪
- [Dr. Braun] ♪ I love your world ♪
635
00:26:30,876 --> 00:26:32,876
[music ends]