1
00:00:22,251 --> 00:00:24,418
‪艾克斯崔將軍,你該待在裡面

2
00:00:24,418 --> 00:00:26,668
‪我不會被俘虜啦,巴佐

3
00:00:28,834 --> 00:00:31,918
‪哇靠,全都被他們炸毀了

4
00:00:31,918 --> 00:00:34,709
‪佛蒙特、好萊塢、各大學院校

5
00:00:34,709 --> 00:00:37,918
‪也就是那些自由派浮誇鬼的溫床

6
00:00:37,918 --> 00:00:39,793
‪所以這是好事?

7
00:00:39,793 --> 00:00:41,543
‪可能喔

8
00:00:41,543 --> 00:00:44,251
‪我要是能活過去,就終於能坐上大位

9
00:00:44,251 --> 00:00:46,959
‪就能重新打造我一直以來夢想的美國

10
00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:51,084
‪人不是人,企業才是人的美國

11
00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:53,834
‪雄壯威武的白人上帝啊,讓我們贏吧

12
00:00:53,834 --> 00:00:57,959
‪我保證會以自己的形象重塑這個世界

13
00:01:08,584 --> 00:01:10,376
‪美國早安

14
00:01:10,376 --> 00:01:12,834
‪拉瑪,看看我從史密松寧找到什麼

15
00:01:12,834 --> 00:01:15,126
‪班法蘭克林的眼鏡

16
00:01:15,126 --> 00:01:17,126
‪有出現在《國家寶藏》裡喔

17
00:01:17,126 --> 00:01:19,293
‪我要找國家寶藏

18
00:01:20,501 --> 00:01:21,834
‪古代好模糊喔

19
00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:24,293
‪-總統,小心
‪-我要捷足先登

20
00:01:26,793 --> 00:01:28,001
‪拜託喔,什麼?

21
00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:30,209
‪是要摔到什麼時候?

22
00:01:32,709 --> 00:01:34,043
‪摔個沒完啊

23
00:01:35,126 --> 00:01:36,043
‪為什麼?

24
00:01:42,418 --> 00:01:46,043
‪《罩不住總統》

25
00:01:47,543 --> 00:01:51,293
{\an8}‪這就是我們重建歷史的方法

26
00:01:51,918 --> 00:01:55,001
{\an8}‪我會練好《我們的輕狂年代》的獨奏

27
00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:58,209
{\an8}‪等等,不對,再等一下,這...

28
00:02:02,626 --> 00:02:05,168
{\an8}‪甘迺迪,他是我的偶像

29
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,918
{\an8}‪他的護背束腰

30
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,209
{\an8}‪他跟那個俄國人拿來的狗

31
00:02:09,209 --> 00:02:10,626
{\an8}‪胸罩刀是什麼?

32
00:02:11,126 --> 00:02:12,709
‪這才叫總統嘛

33
00:02:12,709 --> 00:02:15,293
‪帥氣、波士頓出生,就這樣

34
00:02:15,293 --> 00:02:17,751
‪甘迺迪確實是個好模範

35
00:02:17,751 --> 00:02:18,876
‪他的民權紀錄...

36
00:02:18,876 --> 00:02:22,209
‪他的擴軍讓美國在東南亞更安全

37
00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:24,876
‪而且他太太超正

38
00:02:24,876 --> 00:02:27,001
‪他們是全美最受歡迎夫婦

39
00:02:27,001 --> 00:02:29,584
‪-就像Ice-T跟可可
‪-總統先生,可以開始了嗎?

40
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:32,584
‪現在還是沒電,罐裝水也快沒了

41
00:02:32,584 --> 00:02:34,543
‪更別提夜店了

42
00:02:34,543 --> 00:02:35,793
‪我昨晚去Bliss

43
00:02:35,793 --> 00:02:38,501
‪舞籠裡竟然都是骷髏

44
00:02:38,501 --> 00:02:40,043
‪這到底哪裡性感了?

45
00:02:40,043 --> 00:02:42,043
‪我們連有多少倖存者都不知道

46
00:02:42,043 --> 00:02:44,084
‪應該要先進行人口普查

47
00:02:44,084 --> 00:02:46,543
‪這是典型的大政府越權

48
00:02:46,543 --> 00:02:50,584
‪不是兩年前才做過普查?

49
00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:53,459
‪現在的總人口應該不一樣了

50
00:02:53,459 --> 00:02:55,751
‪而且普查是國父當初做的第一件事

51
00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:57,959
‪嚴格來說,依詹姆士麥迪遜的話

52
00:02:57,959 --> 00:03:01,459
‪他只是想找“虎背熊腰的少女”,但...

53
00:03:01,459 --> 00:03:04,084
‪瞭解人民需求也不錯,才能幫助他們

54
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:07,209
‪沒有IG後,要怎麼瞭解別人?

55
00:03:07,209 --> 00:03:09,001
‪馬帝,我們必須實施人口普查

56
00:03:13,334 --> 00:03:15,793
‪我這次同意露西的看法,卡萊

57
00:03:15,793 --> 00:03:17,043
‪人口普查

58
00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:19,543
‪希望你這個決定

59
00:03:19,543 --> 00:03:22,334
‪跟今晚的求偶行為無關

60
00:03:22,334 --> 00:03:25,501
‪我們的約會嗎?
‪我最好需要耍手段把妹

61
00:03:25,501 --> 00:03:27,001
‪我現在可是甘迺迪

62
00:03:27,001 --> 00:03:29,918
‪露西呢?她比潔姬丁還棒

63
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,501
‪她根本就是潔姬優

64
00:03:31,501 --> 00:03:33,501
‪我可能算不上潔姬優

65
00:03:33,501 --> 00:03:34,834
‪或許能說是潔姬乙

66
00:03:34,834 --> 00:03:36,084
‪他們以為那是評分嗎?

67
00:03:36,084 --> 00:03:38,709
‪剩下的博物館文物要放哪?

68
00:03:38,709 --> 00:03:40,501
‪這幅畫好大

69
00:03:41,084 --> 00:03:42,876
‪看來我們的救援晚了一步

70
00:03:42,876 --> 00:03:45,793
‪天啊,不知道它融化前長怎樣

71
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,376
‪大概畫著美景吧

72
00:03:47,376 --> 00:03:49,959
‪像是船、馬,或兩者都有

73
00:03:49,959 --> 00:03:51,709
‪我現在連看都不忍心看

74
00:03:54,043 --> 00:03:57,876
‪-總統,那其實...
‪-白痴外星人毀了我們的珍貴藝術

75
00:03:57,876 --> 00:04:00,251
‪我相信那本來一定是超美船馬畫

76
00:04:00,251 --> 00:04:01,293
‪該死

77
00:04:03,459 --> 00:04:05,876
‪37歲,沒家人

78
00:04:05,876 --> 00:04:08,751
‪住址是熱狗攤陽傘下

79
00:04:08,751 --> 00:04:09,918
‪實用技能呢?

80
00:04:09,918 --> 00:04:13,626
‪我寫了一本書探討大學箝制言論自由

81
00:04:13,626 --> 00:04:16,251
‪所以應該能負責...食物?

82
00:04:16,251 --> 00:04:17,584
‪食物或柴火

83
00:04:18,084 --> 00:04:20,709
‪...還有沃特

84
00:04:20,709 --> 00:04:22,543
‪每條蛇的名字都登記好了

85
00:04:22,543 --> 00:04:24,001
‪是嗎?我看看

86
00:04:24,001 --> 00:04:26,293
‪法菈,快跑!我一條都沒登記

87
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,001
‪達倫,咬死他們

88
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,751
‪對,只有我

89
00:04:29,751 --> 00:04:33,709
‪我親愛的丈夫在外星入侵時過世了

90
00:04:35,251 --> 00:04:37,251
‪該死的外星人!

91
00:04:37,251 --> 00:04:39,001
‪對喔,外星入侵

92
00:04:39,001 --> 00:04:41,709
‪那絕對有發生過
‪就像這個有登陸月球一樣

93
00:04:41,709 --> 00:04:43,959
‪全部都是騙局,深層政府要我們相信

94
00:04:43,959 --> 00:04:46,001
‪是所謂的外星人轟掉了我的屁股

95
00:04:46,001 --> 00:04:47,376
‪確實是被轟掉了

96
00:04:47,376 --> 00:04:48,918
‪福斯新聞說沒有喔

97
00:04:50,376 --> 00:04:51,626
‪說得對,安斯利

98
00:04:51,626 --> 00:04:53,543
‪太有意思了

99
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,418
‪為什麼有那麼多演員存活?

100
00:04:55,418 --> 00:04:57,793
‪蟋蟀無線,唧唧

101
00:04:58,584 --> 00:05:00,709
‪蟋蟀無線,唧唧

102
00:05:01,459 --> 00:05:04,168
‪傻站在那邊幹嘛?
‪快點殺這些肉包啊!

103
00:05:04,876 --> 00:05:07,751
‪我自從寫完碩論後
‪就沒做過真正的田野調查了

104
00:05:07,751 --> 00:05:09,918
‪題目是“兄弟會小屌症候群”

105
00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:13,001
‪妳做得很好
‪看來就像騎腳踏車,會了就不會忘了

106
00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:14,751
‪但我不會騎

107
00:05:14,751 --> 00:05:16,251
‪我們合作無間,賽門

108
00:05:16,251 --> 00:05:18,376
‪你的筆跡真是無可挑惕

109
00:05:18,376 --> 00:05:19,959
‪我參加過手寫營

110
00:05:25,918 --> 00:05:28,209
‪馬帝,這裡好美

111
00:05:28,209 --> 00:05:31,584
‪感覺好像在參加
‪哈瓦蘇湖派對船沉沒後的守靈夜

112
00:05:31,584 --> 00:05:35,584
‪妳可是在跟美國總統約會耶

113
00:05:35,584 --> 00:05:37,584
‪等我說“卡美洛”,妳就準備大開眼界

114
00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:41,543
‪史卡帕喬將軍,你搞屁啊

115
00:05:41,543 --> 00:05:44,001
‪你竟敢這樣對將軍大人說話?

116
00:05:44,001 --> 00:05:46,543
‪-我可是軍人耶
‪-對不起,長官

117
00:05:46,543 --> 00:05:47,918
‪感謝你報效國家

118
00:05:48,418 --> 00:05:51,043
‪拉瑪去徵用東西了

119
00:05:51,043 --> 00:05:54,001
‪那只是“借用”的做作說法

120
00:05:54,001 --> 00:05:56,543
‪包含芥末醬包

121
00:05:57,459 --> 00:05:58,293
‪好吃

122
00:05:58,293 --> 00:06:01,584
‪再加一台加滿油的水上摩托車

123
00:06:01,584 --> 00:06:04,751
‪是還不錯,不過這些燈是哪找來的?

124
00:06:04,751 --> 00:06:05,793
‪那是鯨油燈

125
00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:07,459
‪拉瑪說海軍工廠裡

126
00:06:07,459 --> 00:06:09,626
‪某間倉庫裡面有一大堆

127
00:06:09,626 --> 00:06:11,626
‪是以前還有電力時囤積的

128
00:06:12,584 --> 00:06:14,209
‪以前的人好傻喔,對吧?

129
00:06:14,209 --> 00:06:15,376
‪超傻

130
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:17,793
‪不過大家很需要燈火

131
00:06:17,793 --> 00:06:19,334
‪現在晚上都很黑

132
00:06:19,334 --> 00:06:20,626
‪又來了!

133
00:06:21,459 --> 00:06:23,459
‪所以妳想要我反借用鯨油?

134
00:06:23,459 --> 00:06:24,501
‪沒問題

135
00:06:24,501 --> 00:06:26,251
‪第一夫人要我做什麼都行

136
00:06:26,251 --> 00:06:27,293
‪海恩尼斯港!

137
00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:31,626
‪要射成愛心啦!

138
00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:33,334
‪只會出一張嘴,你自己來啊

139
00:06:35,876 --> 00:06:39,043
‪我是在英國領土上的英國子民

140
00:06:39,043 --> 00:06:42,084
‪沒義務回答你們的美國問題

141
00:06:42,084 --> 00:06:44,376
‪我們只是想知道你幾歲,傑瑞米

142
00:06:44,376 --> 00:06:46,543
‪決議要普查時,你也在場啊

143
00:06:46,543 --> 00:06:47,709
‪外交豁免權

144
00:06:47,709 --> 00:06:51,584
‪由於近親通婚,那是我唯一的免疫力

145
00:06:52,543 --> 00:06:54,293
‪今晚就到此收工吧

146
00:06:54,876 --> 00:06:57,626
‪自從動物脫逃後
‪晚上在外就不太平安

147
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,834
‪對啊,我們可以明天再“包辦”

148
00:06:59,834 --> 00:07:01,334
‪這是木乃伊說的

149
00:07:01,334 --> 00:07:02,418
‪抱歉,太冷了

150
00:07:02,418 --> 00:07:04,459
‪木乃伊本來就包好了,所以...

151
00:07:04,959 --> 00:07:07,459
‪想想我們有這些數據能做多少事

152
00:07:07,459 --> 00:07:10,751
‪分配資源、製作流行病分佈圖

153
00:07:10,751 --> 00:07:13,751
‪甚至能最佳化男女配對
‪進行人口復興

154
00:07:13,751 --> 00:07:15,793
‪精選特質,例如高智商

155
00:07:15,793 --> 00:07:18,459
‪或淘汰愛車人士之類的

156
00:07:18,459 --> 00:07:21,918
‪如果要精選高智商
‪妳跟我說不定該交配喔

157
00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:25,168
‪那不是我們說了算

158
00:07:25,168 --> 00:07:27,876
‪要看數據決定

159
00:07:27,876 --> 00:07:31,168
‪我知道,我只是又在說笑

160
00:07:31,168 --> 00:07:34,959
‪例如澳洲人說我們要“熬粥”

161
00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:36,126
‪對啊

162
00:07:36,126 --> 00:07:37,043
‪-澳客
‪-糟糕

163
00:07:37,043 --> 00:07:38,334
‪有狐猴!快跑!

164
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:40,959
‪天啊,牠們好可愛

165
00:07:45,918 --> 00:07:47,084
‪她最喜歡的約會橋段

166
00:07:47,084 --> 00:07:49,459
‪大概是看著我努力跳上水上摩托車

167
00:07:49,459 --> 00:07:52,001
‪我對人類交配儀式沒什麼瞭解

168
00:07:52,001 --> 00:07:53,918
‪不過我很確定不是你說的那樣

169
00:07:53,918 --> 00:07:56,751
‪她答應今天要再跟我出去

170
00:07:56,751 --> 00:07:58,626
‪知道厲害了吧?

171
00:07:58,626 --> 00:08:00,251
‪你幹嘛一直做這個動作?

172
00:08:00,251 --> 00:08:03,543
‪只要把這個分發給大家
‪晚上就不會那麼危險了

173
00:08:03,543 --> 00:08:07,584
‪多說一點...

174
00:08:07,584 --> 00:08:09,084
‪-多一點
‪-很酷吧?

175
00:08:09,084 --> 00:08:12,668
‪昨晚以前,我對鯨魚唯一的瞭解
‪就只有約拿的聖經故事而已

176
00:08:12,668 --> 00:08:14,459
‪妳對鯨魚只有那些瞭解?

177
00:08:15,543 --> 00:08:18,501
‪很高興妳和馬帝昨晚約會順利

178
00:08:18,501 --> 00:08:19,709
‪超棒的

179
00:08:19,709 --> 00:08:22,043
‪有間倉庫裡滿滿都是鯨油耶

180
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,334
‪我先說說我的觀察

181
00:08:23,334 --> 00:08:25,876
‪妳一次都沒提到馬帝

182
00:08:25,876 --> 00:08:27,376
‪只有提到鯨油

183
00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:28,418
‪很多次

184
00:08:29,293 --> 00:08:32,168
‪嚴格來說,今晚是我們第三次約會

185
00:08:32,168 --> 00:08:33,584
‪因為在外星入侵時...

186
00:08:33,584 --> 00:08:37,293
‪說出怎麼毀掉你們的太空船
‪不然我們就要把你燙熟

187
00:08:37,793 --> 00:08:39,209
‪糟糕,它躲到冰箱後面了

188
00:08:40,376 --> 00:08:41,834
‪-等一下,我去拿相機
‪-抱歉

189
00:08:42,334 --> 00:08:44,418
‪真高興我能逗你們開心喔

190
00:08:44,418 --> 00:08:45,418
‪謝啦

191
00:08:45,418 --> 00:08:48,334
‪你也知道第三次約會是什麼意思

192
00:08:48,334 --> 00:08:49,293
‪我知道

193
00:08:49,293 --> 00:08:52,793
‪但只是因為我為了入侵
‪所以先看《全民情聖》做功課

194
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,584
‪那部電影...還可以

195
00:08:54,584 --> 00:08:57,293
‪我只是要說,讓妳那麼興奮的是

196
00:08:57,293 --> 00:08:59,126
‪妳找到了助人的新方法

197
00:08:59,126 --> 00:09:01,918
‪對啊,不過馬帝在幫助我助人

198
00:09:01,918 --> 00:09:04,334
‪他也聽從我的話,進行人口普查

199
00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:07,334
‪嗯,不過妳真的有被他吸引嗎?

200
00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:10,626
‪我談過很多次動機錯誤的戀愛

201
00:09:10,626 --> 00:09:14,668
‪這應該跟我爸媽是性治療師
‪最後還互相殺死對方無關

202
00:09:14,668 --> 00:09:16,668
‪啟動尷尬程序

203
00:09:16,668 --> 00:09:20,084
‪我追過很多明顯不適合的男人

204
00:09:20,084 --> 00:09:22,084
‪-你要走了?
‪-抱歉,寶貝

205
00:09:22,084 --> 00:09:25,334
‪等下次丘留莫夫彗星再現
‪我們或許可以再見個面

206
00:09:25,334 --> 00:09:27,751
‪所以是6.5年後嗎?

207
00:09:27,751 --> 00:09:29,709
‪不,我那晚有事

208
00:09:29,709 --> 00:09:31,709
‪我知道妳因為鯨油很開心

209
00:09:31,709 --> 00:09:34,334
‪但為了這種理由就跟某人在一起

210
00:09:34,334 --> 00:09:37,376
‪就像為了某人是星象節目顧問
‪就跟他在一起一樣蠢

211
00:09:37,959 --> 00:09:39,001
‪你覺今晚這樣如何?

212
00:09:39,001 --> 00:09:40,501
‪燕尾服T恤加休閒褲?

213
00:09:40,501 --> 00:09:42,793
‪你幹嘛一直過來問我意見?

214
00:09:42,793 --> 00:09:44,209
‪去看《全民情聖》啦

215
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:47,709
‪妳得捫心自問
‪當第一夫人真的值得嗎?

216
00:09:48,293 --> 00:09:50,584
‪不然我還能怎樣幫助人們?

217
00:09:50,584 --> 00:09:52,543
‪我又不能靠自己就反借用

218
00:09:52,543 --> 00:09:54,834
‪而且馬帝說不定真的關心那些事

219
00:09:54,834 --> 00:09:56,793
‪也可能只是為了獻殷勤才那麼做

220
00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:58,918
‪我只是為了向她獻殷勤才做的

221
00:09:58,918 --> 00:10:00,876
‪這是個全新世界,露西

222
00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:04,876
‪我們沒必要再被馬帝
‪或尼爾泰森那種男人騙了

223
00:10:04,876 --> 00:10:06,751
‪現在輪到我們說

224
00:10:06,751 --> 00:10:10,084
‪“換好燈泡、摸我屁股
‪然後就快點滾,先生”

225
00:10:10,084 --> 00:10:12,376
‪馬帝說不定是好男人

226
00:10:12,376 --> 00:10:15,543
‪因為鯨油嘛

227
00:10:15,543 --> 00:10:19,709
‪露西,假如讓我遇到好男人
‪我確定他一定不會是馬帝那樣

228
00:10:19,709 --> 00:10:21,376
‪(法菈布朗與賽門普羅)

229
00:10:21,959 --> 00:10:25,001
‪不過我們怎麼知道別人心裡有什麼?

230
00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:26,793
‪或許可以開槍射射看

231
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,334
‪陶德喔

232
00:10:28,334 --> 00:10:30,209
‪你解決每個問題都用這招

233
00:10:30,793 --> 00:10:33,793
‪-不失禮貌的笑聲...
‪-你好暴力

234
00:10:38,793 --> 00:10:41,793
‪妳今天髮型不一樣,我覺得很好看

235
00:10:41,793 --> 00:10:43,918
‪謝謝,剛才滴到東西了

236
00:10:43,918 --> 00:10:47,084
‪接下來要去哪普查?

237
00:10:47,084 --> 00:10:49,168
‪不要回馬戲團,我們已經學到教訓了

238
00:10:49,168 --> 00:10:51,918
‪這一定會很搞笑

239
00:10:56,084 --> 00:10:56,918
‪天啊

240
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:04,834
‪新娘來囉

241
00:11:04,834 --> 00:11:05,834
‪好開心喔

242
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:08,543
‪不好意思,我猜妳是貝卡吧?

243
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,793
‪-我們在做人口普查
‪-我叫貝卡,26歲,單身

244
00:11:11,793 --> 00:11:15,251
‪過今夜就不是了,明天是我的大日子

245
00:11:15,251 --> 00:11:17,584
‪德瑞克絕對還活著,小貝

246
00:11:17,584 --> 00:11:19,376
‪-沒錯
‪-我們只需要問幾個問題

247
00:11:19,376 --> 00:11:22,168
‪你一定要跟我們一起狂歡

248
00:11:22,168 --> 00:11:24,293
‪對啊,這是她最後的偷吃機會

249
00:11:24,293 --> 00:11:26,209
‪德瑞克背著她偷吃了好幾次

250
00:11:26,209 --> 00:11:29,793
‪他才不是偷吃
‪是我自己太難相處

251
00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:33,168
‪來嘛,你是我們
‪一整天所看到最帥的男人

252
00:11:33,751 --> 00:11:35,793
‪最好是啦,我知道接下來會怎樣

253
00:11:35,793 --> 00:11:38,168
‪“賽門,你先脫衣服”

254
00:11:38,168 --> 00:11:39,834
‪然後我就站在路邊

255
00:11:39,834 --> 00:11:42,168
‪好幾台優步都拒絕載我

256
00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:43,876
‪我的評價還直線下降

257
00:11:44,459 --> 00:11:45,543
‪和我親熱啦

258
00:11:45,543 --> 00:11:47,668
‪不管這是怎樣,我都沒興趣,好嗎?

259
00:11:47,668 --> 00:11:49,043
‪我如果要找床伴

260
00:11:49,043 --> 00:11:51,751
‪寧願要一本好書
‪外加泡得恰到好處的茶

261
00:11:51,751 --> 00:11:53,001
‪各位小姐再見

262
00:11:53,834 --> 00:11:55,959
‪明天是人家的大日子耶

263
00:11:55,959 --> 00:11:57,918
‪剛才的事有點難下筆

264
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,376
‪爛人算是一種職業嗎?

265
00:12:02,584 --> 00:12:04,209
‪我知道妳是理科太太

266
00:12:04,209 --> 00:12:06,334
‪但沒想到妳還會搞笑啊

267
00:12:08,626 --> 00:12:09,834
‪我們來動動腦好了

268
00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:11,084
‪假設我們是夫妻

269
00:12:11,626 --> 00:12:13,959
‪系主任打電話給我

270
00:12:13,959 --> 00:12:15,584
‪說我獲得了終身職

271
00:12:15,584 --> 00:12:18,251
‪你會選擇一:擁抱恭喜我

272
00:12:18,751 --> 00:12:21,126
‪或是二:大吼“我要離婚”

273
00:12:21,126 --> 00:12:23,293
‪然後拿我的信用卡去看脫衣舞

274
00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:24,793
‪我要選一

275
00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:26,918
‪而且不只是因為
‪我唯一看過脫衣舞的那次

276
00:12:26,918 --> 00:12:28,793
‪因為哭太大聲被踢出去了

277
00:12:29,293 --> 00:12:30,376
‪瞭解

278
00:12:30,376 --> 00:12:32,376
‪法拉格特上將,這樣舒服嗎?

279
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:34,834
‪我沒辦法這樣對待德瑞克

280
00:12:37,543 --> 00:12:39,668
‪你找拉瑪先生談鯨油的事了嗎?

281
00:12:39,668 --> 00:12:41,168
‪那當然,小露

282
00:12:41,168 --> 00:12:43,251
‪天啊,謝謝你

283
00:12:43,251 --> 00:12:46,084
‪未來的馬修馬克路克約翰穆勒根太太
‪要我做什麼都行

284
00:12:46,084 --> 00:12:47,168
‪那是你的中間名?

285
00:12:47,168 --> 00:12:49,459
‪畢竟今晚是我們的第三次約會

286
00:12:49,459 --> 00:12:50,376
‪第三次?

287
00:12:50,376 --> 00:12:52,959
‪對喔,還有海灘小屋那次

288
00:12:54,001 --> 00:12:56,584
‪-快點,抓住它
‪-放進鍋裡啦,不要啦

289
00:12:56,584 --> 00:12:58,709
‪-快抓住
‪-我不想碰它

290
00:12:58,709 --> 00:13:01,709
‪我怎麼會被你們兩個俘虜?

291
00:13:02,293 --> 00:13:05,668
‪不過你找拉瑪先生談
‪不只是為了今晚吧?

292
00:13:05,668 --> 00:13:07,418
‪當然不是

293
00:13:07,418 --> 00:13:09,793
‪我關心妳關心的事

294
00:13:09,793 --> 00:13:11,334
‪像是保護動物

295
00:13:11,334 --> 00:13:14,459
‪還有從牠們體內煉油

296
00:13:14,459 --> 00:13:15,584
‪我懂妳

297
00:13:17,668 --> 00:13:20,668
‪我就覺得有聽到妳的美聲

298
00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:24,709
‪不然就是有天使在這邊唱詩

299
00:13:25,209 --> 00:13:26,334
‪可以借一步說話嗎?

300
00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:30,084
‪蘇旺小姐
‪妳也知道我剛跟穆勒根總統談過

301
00:13:30,084 --> 00:13:31,626
‪是,我很高興

302
00:13:31,626 --> 00:13:34,334
‪人們終於能在晚上
‪看見自己的食物跟親吻對象了

303
00:13:34,334 --> 00:13:37,584
‪不過我恐怕有壞消息

304
00:13:38,168 --> 00:13:39,126
‪真可憐

305
00:13:39,626 --> 00:13:41,084
‪不過你這輩子很圓滿

306
00:13:41,084 --> 00:13:42,668
‪不是,我...不是啦

307
00:13:42,668 --> 00:13:44,084
‪是跟鯨油有關

308
00:13:44,918 --> 00:13:49,543
‪要像蘇聯或波蘭一樣發送政府物資?

309
00:13:49,543 --> 00:13:50,543
‪那可不行

310
00:13:50,543 --> 00:13:54,168
‪所以妳的提案注定會胎死腹中

311
00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:56,251
‪等等,所以不會實施嗎?

312
00:13:56,251 --> 00:13:58,834
‪妹妹,我在政府部門待很久了

313
00:13:58,834 --> 00:14:01,376
‪妳還在把屁屁貼起來

314
00:14:01,376 --> 00:14:05,584
‪像舞孃一樣手舞足蹈
‪給評審盯著看的時候,我就在了

315
00:14:05,584 --> 00:14:07,793
‪選美不只是那樣,先生

316
00:14:07,793 --> 00:14:09,459
‪那當然

317
00:14:09,459 --> 00:14:13,043
‪還有微笑、揮手、打扮得漂漂亮亮

318
00:14:13,043 --> 00:14:14,459
‪當第一夫人也差不多

319
00:14:14,459 --> 00:14:18,793
‪所以妳以後還是
‪乖乖當個傳統的第一夫人吧

320
00:14:18,793 --> 00:14:21,209
‪妳看看要不要重新裝潢白宮

321
00:14:21,209 --> 00:14:23,834
‪賈桂琳甘迺迪夫人
‪當年就佈置得鮮豔無比

322
00:14:23,834 --> 00:14:25,418
‪還受到教宗不少影響

323
00:14:25,418 --> 00:14:27,126
‪這樣才乖

324
00:14:33,209 --> 00:14:35,209
‪為什麼每次都只剩這個?

325
00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:36,126
‪來吧

326
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:40,168
‪原來是達沙尼

327
00:14:40,168 --> 00:14:44,001
‪上面說水源是直接取自中學飲水機

328
00:14:50,751 --> 00:14:52,376
‪尷尬的沈默,有夠糗

329
00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:58,084
‪-我幹嘛啊?
‪-我突然發現我們都還沒填

330
00:14:58,668 --> 00:15:01,209
‪我知道你的名字,住所呢?

331
00:15:01,209 --> 00:15:03,334
‪我搬進國家資料庫了

332
00:15:03,334 --> 00:15:04,584
‪那可是歷史學家的夢想

333
00:15:04,584 --> 00:15:07,584
‪雖然我跟一團七年級生是室友

334
00:15:07,584 --> 00:15:09,501
‪外星侵入時,他們正好在校外教學

335
00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:12,418
‪他們把傑弗遜的情色收藏搞得一團亂

336
00:15:12,418 --> 00:15:13,959
‪你還單身,對吧?

337
00:15:13,959 --> 00:15:17,459
‪根本母胎單身
‪就我的經驗,女生都找馬帝那種人

338
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,334
‪把人塞進馬桶的那種

339
00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:21,543
‪不是被人塞進馬桶的那種

340
00:15:21,543 --> 00:15:25,209
‪有時就連聰明女人也會做出愚蠢選擇

341
00:15:25,209 --> 00:15:27,876
‪不過現在或許可以趁機改變了

342
00:15:30,751 --> 00:15:32,168
‪-繼續人口普查吧
‪-對

343
00:15:32,168 --> 00:15:36,209
‪人口普查...

344
00:15:39,668 --> 00:15:41,793
‪行政命令!擒抱!

345
00:15:42,626 --> 00:15:43,501
‪好耶

346
00:15:43,501 --> 00:15:45,584
‪行政命令!再次觸地得分

347
00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:51,918
‪究竟是我眼花

348
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:55,334
‪還是跳動鬼影萊德格蘭吉復活了?

349
00:15:55,334 --> 00:15:59,209
‪其實是甘迺迪
‪我在那個箱子裡找到他的墨鏡

350
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,293
‪還吃了幾顆沒標示的藥丸

351
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,209
‪我的背痛都好了

352
00:16:03,709 --> 00:16:05,543
‪我的賈姬來了

353
00:16:05,543 --> 00:16:08,418
‪你喜歡嗎?這是她的就職禮服

354
00:16:08,418 --> 00:16:10,126
‪我在史密松寧那堆東西裡找到的

355
00:16:10,709 --> 00:16:12,959
‪我還在遊客中心找到這份傳單

356
00:16:12,959 --> 00:16:15,959
‪我要把一切再次變得美觀

357
00:16:15,959 --> 00:16:17,501
‪盡到第一夫人的職責

358
00:16:17,501 --> 00:16:19,126
‪哎喲...

359
00:16:19,126 --> 00:16:21,459
‪我真是驕傲得不得了

360
00:16:21,459 --> 00:16:24,584
‪不是普通的驕傲
‪而是和小黃瓜一樣驕傲

361
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:27,293
‪傳統非常重要

362
00:16:27,876 --> 00:16:29,793
‪妳好美

363
00:16:29,793 --> 00:16:31,501
‪就像芭比娃娃的朋友一樣

364
00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:34,293
‪妳和我是現代的班尼佛

365
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,251
‪我們是穆西

366
00:16:35,793 --> 00:16:36,751
‪穆西耶

367
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:42,918
‪我們今晚要去第三次約會

368
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:44,084
‪懂我意思吧?

369
00:16:44,084 --> 00:16:46,418
‪你們這一代很不一樣

370
00:16:46,418 --> 00:16:49,459
‪在我的年代
‪第三次約會是要跟她爸搏鬥

371
00:16:51,293 --> 00:16:52,418
‪這真不錯

372
00:16:52,418 --> 00:16:56,209
‪幸好那個殺夫公車司機
‪同意要幫我照顧孩子

373
00:16:57,293 --> 00:16:58,668
‪我跟你說

374
00:16:59,334 --> 00:17:01,168
‪單純基於科學判斷

375
00:17:01,168 --> 00:17:05,459
‪我相信我們一起找點事做會有好處

376
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:07,834
‪要不要一起吃晚餐?

377
00:17:07,834 --> 00:17:10,334
‪我撿到了一些披薩點心

378
00:17:10,334 --> 00:17:13,209
‪想說可以拿來當誘餌抓老鼠

379
00:17:13,209 --> 00:17:15,959
‪-幾乎有七成是女性
‪-什麼?

380
00:17:15,959 --> 00:17:17,834
‪許多男性死於和外星人作戰

381
00:17:17,834 --> 00:17:21,084
‪後來又因為煙火跟亂騎水上摩托車

382
00:17:21,084 --> 00:17:23,793
‪導致女性人數比男性多非常多

383
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,751
‪就像我小時候在彩虹頻道
‪看到的那部電影一樣嘛

384
00:17:27,251 --> 00:17:29,001
‪我在演《性托邦二》

385
00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:33,001
‪搞什麼?

386
00:17:34,668 --> 00:17:35,709
‪太誇張了

387
00:17:35,709 --> 00:17:38,418
‪這是在幹什麼東西?

388
00:17:38,418 --> 00:17:41,043
‪我只是聽你的話在重新裝潢白宮

389
00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:43,418
‪不過這間是我的閨房

390
00:17:43,418 --> 00:17:46,001
‪可是根據我找到的那份傳單

391
00:17:46,001 --> 00:17:48,293
‪紅廳其實從來沒當過臥室

392
00:17:48,293 --> 00:17:50,709
‪我也知道你有多重視傳統

393
00:17:50,709 --> 00:17:53,334
‪看來我是砸了自己的腳

394
00:17:53,334 --> 00:17:55,251
‪所以我想說可以仿效國父

395
00:17:55,251 --> 00:17:57,751
‪拿來辦小型晚宴,配上伴奏

396
00:17:57,751 --> 00:18:01,876
{\an8}‪還有湯馬斯傑弗遜最愛的喜鵲作伴

397
00:18:01,876 --> 00:18:05,543
‪不過其他沒被炸毀的閨房都有人住了

398
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:08,043
‪據說副總統依照傳統

399
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:09,959
‪是住在海軍天文台

400
00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:12,293
‪只要從這裡走一小時就能到了

401
00:18:12,293 --> 00:18:15,918
‪妳好大的擔子,小姐

402
00:18:15,918 --> 00:18:19,459
‪我可是堂堂美國副總統

403
00:18:19,459 --> 00:18:22,418
‪妳只是發育過度的小小選美皇后而已

404
00:18:22,418 --> 00:18:25,043
‪沒錯,你說我該當作選美就好

405
00:18:25,043 --> 00:18:26,334
‪我現在就是在乖乖聽話

406
00:18:26,334 --> 00:18:29,293
‪只是原來政客原來跟選美選手那麼像

407
00:18:29,293 --> 00:18:31,001
‪是因為束腹嗎?

408
00:18:31,001 --> 00:18:33,043
‪因為你們都是背刺小人

409
00:18:33,043 --> 00:18:35,709
‪就像我以為卡森市小姐是朋友

410
00:18:35,709 --> 00:18:38,876
‪但她散佈謠言說
‪我之所以入選580州際小姐

411
00:18:38,876 --> 00:18:41,126
‪是因為我爸媽是斐迪南和伊美黛

412
00:18:41,126 --> 00:18:44,293
‪那也太種族歧視了
‪因為他們根本不是泰國人

413
00:18:44,293 --> 00:18:47,001
‪但我還是維持著一貫笑容

414
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:48,793
‪直到下一場選美比賽

415
00:18:48,793 --> 00:18:52,543
{\an8}‪我知道卡森市小姐
‪穿著美人魚服一定不好走路

416
00:18:52,543 --> 00:18:54,793
{\an8}‪所以我提早到賽場,偷偷調換更衣室

417
00:18:54,793 --> 00:18:57,751
‪把她調到會場的另一頭

418
00:18:58,418 --> 00:18:59,751
‪等她好不容易登台

419
00:18:59,751 --> 00:19:02,584
‪全身都痛到無法在石頭上學小美人魚

420
00:19:02,584 --> 00:19:05,668
‪我扮的則是萬代電玩撲克選手

421
00:19:06,334 --> 00:19:08,126
‪我雖然不知道你幹嘛耍賤

422
00:19:08,126 --> 00:19:10,459
‪但我很清楚你的小遊戲怎麼玩

423
00:19:10,459 --> 00:19:12,543
‪我從六歲就開始玩了

424
00:19:12,543 --> 00:19:14,918
‪妳讓我目瞪口呆

425
00:19:14,918 --> 00:19:16,876
‪我簡直瞠目結舌

426
00:19:16,876 --> 00:19:19,918
‪我覺得這個新世界
‪可以比以前好,拉瑪先生

427
00:19:19,918 --> 00:19:21,876
‪讓人們不用惡劣待人

428
00:19:21,876 --> 00:19:23,959
‪因為我們有更嚴重的問題要煩惱

429
00:19:23,959 --> 00:19:27,793
‪我看到有人被蛇吃掉
‪那個人卻像是鬆了一口氣

430
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,251
‪讓我們努力向善吧,好嗎?

431
00:19:32,501 --> 00:19:35,209
‪祝你散步開心
‪要注意新出現的坑洞喔

432
00:19:38,251 --> 00:19:39,709
‪我一定會讓她知道厲害

433
00:19:40,584 --> 00:19:42,793
‪對,那兩個再進位

434
00:19:42,793 --> 00:19:45,959
‪大多是女性?那還真是顯著差異

435
00:19:45,959 --> 00:19:47,084
‪不過說到晚餐,我...

436
00:19:47,084 --> 00:19:50,084
‪-明天是人家的大日子
‪-超好玩

437
00:19:50,084 --> 00:19:51,001
‪我們超棒

438
00:19:51,001 --> 00:19:52,543
‪她們說不定不是在嘲笑我

439
00:19:52,543 --> 00:19:53,501
‪姊妹們...

440
00:19:53,501 --> 00:19:56,376
‪我或許真的是她們
‪一整天所看到最帥的男人

441
00:19:56,376 --> 00:19:57,543
‪因為沒剩幾個男人了

442
00:19:57,543 --> 00:20:00,126
‪天啊,是之前那個活男人

443
00:20:00,126 --> 00:20:01,584
‪活人,你好嗎?

444
00:20:02,584 --> 00:20:04,918
‪法菈,我突然想起...

445
00:20:05,501 --> 00:20:07,209
‪所以我要先走了

446
00:20:07,209 --> 00:20:09,918
‪怎樣?因為她們25歲、說話像小寶寶

447
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:14,168
‪而我是41歲的兩寶媽
‪骨盆痛還擴散到下巴?

448
00:20:14,168 --> 00:20:16,209
‪我知道,但我依舊是你高攀不上的

449
00:20:16,209 --> 00:20:17,334
‪妳確實很高

450
00:20:17,334 --> 00:20:18,584
‪我根本就對你沒興趣

451
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:20,876
‪你知道我要費多大力氣

452
00:20:20,876 --> 00:20:23,459
‪才能對你那頂蠢帽子視而不見嗎?

453
00:20:23,459 --> 00:20:26,001
‪我的腦子得不停修圖

454
00:20:26,001 --> 00:20:29,876
‪聽著,在以前的世界
‪那些女生會偷走我的衣服

455
00:20:29,876 --> 00:20:31,543
‪把我踢出行駛中的車輛

456
00:20:32,043 --> 00:20:34,668
‪但我現在竟然有機會把到她們

457
00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:37,459
‪我現在有機會做不同的事了

458
00:20:37,459 --> 00:20:40,376
‪那只適用在進步好嗎?

459
00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:43,126
‪你讓我覺得我好小喔

460
00:20:43,126 --> 00:20:44,043
‪好喔

461
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:45,793
‪-看看我有多無厘頭
‪-駕駕

462
00:20:45,793 --> 00:20:47,334
‪那才不叫無厘頭

463
00:20:47,334 --> 00:20:50,043
‪那是帽子最不無厘頭的用法

464
00:20:50,043 --> 00:20:50,959
‪走吧

465
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,084
‪妳們喜歡木乃伊笑話嗎?

466
00:20:56,084 --> 00:20:57,876
‪馬帝,今晚的約會...

467
00:20:57,876 --> 00:21:01,209
‪別擔心,我會把這幅
‪葛倫克蘿絲的詭異肖像畫拿掉

468
00:21:01,209 --> 00:21:02,418
‪我不想被她旁觀

469
00:21:02,418 --> 00:21:05,043
‪這裡怎麼會有葛倫克蘿絲的畫?

470
00:21:05,043 --> 00:21:07,543
‪對喔,她在《星戰毀滅者》裡
‪飾演第一夫人

471
00:21:07,543 --> 00:21:08,751
‪沒必要拿掉啦

472
00:21:10,043 --> 00:21:12,709
‪有人喜歡被葛倫克蘿絲旁觀喔

473
00:21:12,709 --> 00:21:15,209
‪不是,其實今晚什麼都不會發生

474
00:21:15,209 --> 00:21:18,543
‪我無法跟
‪假裝關心我關心的事情的人在一起

475
00:21:18,543 --> 00:21:21,418
‪可是我只是在假裝關心那些事

476
00:21:21,418 --> 00:21:22,418
‪妳在說什麼?

477
00:21:22,418 --> 00:21:24,209
‪很感謝你的努力,馬帝

478
00:21:24,209 --> 00:21:25,501
‪但...

479
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:26,834
‪我不想要第三次約會

480
00:21:26,834 --> 00:21:28,959
‪別這樣

481
00:21:28,959 --> 00:21:32,126
‪甘迺迪不會被甩
‪畢竟性感太太也是重要的一環

482
00:21:32,126 --> 00:21:33,418
‪我們倆是一支隊伍

483
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,543
‪我還是想當第一夫人

484
00:21:36,543 --> 00:21:39,168
‪總得有人逼你做發送鯨油這種事

485
00:21:39,168 --> 00:21:42,084
‪所以我到底要不要把畫拿下來?

486
00:21:42,084 --> 00:21:43,876
‪妳不能魚與熊掌兼得啊

487
00:21:43,876 --> 00:21:44,876
‪可以喔

488
00:21:44,876 --> 00:21:47,501
‪我今天學到了很多白宮歷史

489
00:21:47,501 --> 00:21:49,293
‪像是甘迺迪臥室

490
00:21:50,084 --> 00:21:52,209
‪不只一間

491
00:21:52,793 --> 00:21:56,626
‪甘迺迪跟賈姬不同房?

492
00:21:56,626 --> 00:21:58,376
‪但他們是卡美洛啊

493
00:21:58,376 --> 00:22:00,751
‪我高中時花了一整年在上面耶

494
00:22:00,751 --> 00:22:02,543
‪他們在公開場合確實是卡美洛

495
00:22:02,543 --> 00:22:04,668
‪但私下就各過各的

496
00:22:04,668 --> 00:22:06,459
‪而且甘迺迪會睡其他女人

497
00:22:06,459 --> 00:22:09,209
‪瑪麗蓮夢露、安吉迪金森、貝蒂羅伯

498
00:22:09,209 --> 00:22:13,251
‪等等,所以妳會留下來
‪把第一夫人當工作

499
00:22:13,251 --> 00:22:16,209
‪然後我能偷偷和別人交往?

500
00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:17,334
‪我是這麼打算沒錯

501
00:22:18,459 --> 00:22:21,376
‪好啊,我沒意見

502
00:22:21,376 --> 00:22:23,584
‪因為地球現在大多都是女人

503
00:22:23,584 --> 00:22:25,668
‪就像《性托邦》第一、二、四集

504
00:22:25,668 --> 00:22:28,626
‪我不承認第三集是正統續作
‪根本有一大堆毛病

505
00:22:28,626 --> 00:22:32,001
‪崔佛都被性處決了
‪結果又像沒事一樣回歸?

506
00:22:32,001 --> 00:22:33,293
‪-別鬧了
‪-嗯

507
00:22:34,001 --> 00:22:35,751
‪我要先走了,一言為定嗎?

508
00:22:35,751 --> 00:22:37,709
‪好,我很期待

509
00:22:43,501 --> 00:22:45,126
‪他們不做了

510
00:22:45,959 --> 00:22:47,084
‪不知道為什麼

511
00:22:49,418 --> 00:22:52,668
‪這個約定實在很划算

512
00:22:52,668 --> 00:22:55,209
‪也有點算國家機密,所以...

513
00:22:55,209 --> 00:22:56,501
‪你沒有別的朋友嗎?

514
00:22:56,501 --> 00:22:58,418
‪但這也不是沒有轉圜餘地

515
00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,376
‪露西喜歡我,只是她還不知道而已

516
00:23:00,376 --> 00:23:04,043
‪我一定會逆轉勝
‪就像2004年美國聯盟冠軍賽一樣

517
00:23:04,043 --> 00:23:05,626
‪我不打算問...

518
00:23:05,626 --> 00:23:07,543
‪我們已經輸了三場比賽...

519
00:23:07,543 --> 00:23:11,001
‪如果你每次都要來這邊血脈賁張

520
00:23:11,001 --> 00:23:12,709
‪可以至少給我台冷氣嗎?

521
00:23:12,709 --> 00:23:15,418
‪這個牢房通風不太好

522
00:23:15,418 --> 00:23:17,584
‪是,這是我們從劇院拿來的

523
00:23:17,584 --> 00:23:20,709
‪《X戰警音樂劇》去外地選角了

524
00:23:20,709 --> 00:23:22,209
‪這是萬磁王的牢房

525
00:23:23,126 --> 00:23:26,709
‪迴紋針和遺失鑰匙

526
00:23:26,709 --> 00:23:30,168
‪整台校巴,沒錯

527
00:23:30,168 --> 00:23:34,543
‪但我唯一無法吸引的

528
00:23:34,543 --> 00:23:37,876
‪就是你

529
00:23:37,876 --> 00:23:40,418
‪不過冷氣辦不到,沒電力

530
00:23:40,418 --> 00:23:43,126
‪但只要露西回心轉意

531
00:23:43,126 --> 00:23:45,668
‪我和她就能讓這裡火辣辣

532
00:23:45,668 --> 00:23:47,501
‪那正好跟我想要的相反啊

533
00:23:47,501 --> 00:23:48,751
‪不用謝,老兄

534
00:23:50,168 --> 00:23:53,084
‪(鯨油)

535
00:23:55,626 --> 00:23:57,418
‪社會主義者的鄉愿

536
00:23:57,418 --> 00:23:58,918
‪林登,你是怎麼做到的?

537
00:23:58,918 --> 00:24:03,168
‪再擔任另一個
‪高稅麻州草率性欲狂的副手嗎?

538
00:24:03,168 --> 00:24:06,709
‪我還以為我能輕易操弄那小子

539
00:24:07,501 --> 00:24:10,501
‪我需要援手助我讓美國恢復往日榮光

540
00:24:10,501 --> 00:24:13,293
‪回到大家都開心的1950年代

541
00:24:13,293 --> 00:24:15,543
‪完全想不到當時有誰不開心

542
00:24:17,001 --> 00:24:21,293
‪我操完前面換後面

543
00:24:21,876 --> 00:24:25,834
{\an8}‪(開始著手吧,兄弟)

544
00:24:25,834 --> 00:24:27,334
‪他來了

545
00:24:31,959 --> 00:24:35,376
‪叉子、湯匙和刀具

546
00:24:35,376 --> 00:24:39,168
‪牢牢黏在我身上

547
00:24:39,168 --> 00:24:43,376
‪但唯一不黏我的

548
00:24:43,376 --> 00:24:46,376
‪就是你

549
00:24:47,334 --> 00:24:50,876
‪我所經歷的掙扎,對抗體內的力量

550
00:24:50,876 --> 00:24:55,376
‪這些電磁吸引力

551
00:24:55,376 --> 00:24:56,918
‪負極或正極

552
00:24:56,918 --> 00:24:58,834
‪無論是哪一極

553
00:24:58,834 --> 00:25:03,376
‪都無法將你拉到我懷裡

554
00:25:03,376 --> 00:25:07,376
‪我能用電荷抬起船

555
00:25:07,376 --> 00:25:11,376
‪但電磁變種人該怎麼辦?

556
00:25:11,376 --> 00:25:16,418
‪萬物都遭他吸引

557
00:25:16,418 --> 00:25:23,501
‪只有你例外

558
00:25:41,459 --> 00:25:43,376
‪字幕翻譯:韓仁耀