1
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:13,126
[dramatic music playing]
2
00:00:14,876 --> 00:00:16,334
[aliens chattering]
3
00:00:20,543 --> 00:00:22,834
[in alien language] Attack!
4
00:00:22,834 --> 00:00:25,293
Ah oui, I would like to purchase cryptocurrency
5
00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:27,834
- that was started by a famous DJ.
- [humans screaming]
6
00:00:27,834 --> 00:00:28,959
Quoi?
7
00:00:30,668 --> 00:00:31,584
Huh.
8
00:00:31,584 --> 00:00:32,918
[in French] I wasted my life.
9
00:00:32,918 --> 00:00:35,876
[dramatic music continues]
10
00:00:38,584 --> 00:00:40,501
[humans continue screaming]
11
00:00:49,668 --> 00:00:50,668
[birds squawking]
12
00:00:50,668 --> 00:00:51,959
[cow moos]
13
00:00:51,959 --> 00:00:54,084
[dramatic music continues]
14
00:00:54,084 --> 00:00:56,168
[laughing evilly]
15
00:00:57,418 --> 00:00:59,834
- [alarm blaring]
- [electronic beeping]
16
00:01:00,334 --> 00:01:04,334
[in English] Europe has fallen.
Washington, D.C. is all that's left.
17
00:01:04,334 --> 00:01:07,876
It's been... a pleasure
serving with all of you.
18
00:01:07,876 --> 00:01:09,293
Except Randall.
19
00:01:10,126 --> 00:01:11,626
My dad's your boss.
20
00:01:11,626 --> 00:01:13,376
- Not no more, champ.
- [woman shrieks]
21
00:01:13,376 --> 00:01:16,126
[screaming]
22
00:01:19,334 --> 00:01:21,334
[humans continue screaming]
23
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,334
[in alien language] Okay?
24
00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:26,918
- Okay.
- Okay!
25
00:01:28,751 --> 00:01:32,126
[humans continue screaming]
26
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,334
Who's them?
27
00:01:33,334 --> 00:01:35,126
[adventurous music playing]
28
00:01:39,626 --> 00:01:41,084
[both grunt]
29
00:01:41,084 --> 00:01:43,043
- [heroic music playing]
- [man grunts]
30
00:01:43,043 --> 00:01:44,459
- Lucy, look out!
- [Lucy yelps]
31
00:01:47,501 --> 00:01:48,793
{\an8}You know, three days ago,
32
00:01:48,793 --> 00:01:51,501
{\an8}if somebody told me aliens
were gonna blow up the planet,
33
00:01:51,501 --> 00:01:53,126
{\an8}but I'd get to meet you...
34
00:01:53,793 --> 00:01:55,376
{\an8}Oh, okay. Now?
35
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:57,584
{\an8}Uh, uh, kind of a weird time, but--
36
00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:59,001
{\an8}[laser zaps]
37
00:02:00,501 --> 00:02:03,168
[adventurous music playing]
38
00:02:03,918 --> 00:02:05,418
Go save the planet, Matty!
39
00:02:05,418 --> 00:02:07,084
I got this.
40
00:02:07,084 --> 00:02:08,751
I may not be smart.
41
00:02:08,751 --> 00:02:10,501
The only real job I ever had
42
00:02:10,501 --> 00:02:12,959
was letting scientists
spray perfume in my eyes.
43
00:02:12,959 --> 00:02:15,001
So, yeah, I may not be good at lists,
44
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:17,543
or, like, planning how
I'm gonna get home from places--
45
00:02:17,543 --> 00:02:20,084
Okay, cool! Earth is counting on you.
46
00:02:20,084 --> 00:02:22,168
But if there's one thing I can do,
47
00:02:22,168 --> 00:02:24,168
it's bring the high heat.
48
00:02:24,168 --> 00:02:26,251
[adventurous music continues]
49
00:02:27,918 --> 00:02:28,876
[Matty grunts]
50
00:02:34,418 --> 00:02:35,376
[aliens screaming]
51
00:02:35,376 --> 00:02:37,418
[in alien language] I wasted my life!
52
00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:41,043
[in English] Yes!
53
00:02:41,043 --> 00:02:42,626
[spaceships powering down]
54
00:02:43,543 --> 00:02:45,084
Whoa! Whoa!
55
00:02:45,584 --> 00:02:47,084
Ah! [grunts]
56
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:48,334
[Lucy screams]
57
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,043
- Matty!
- [Matty grunts]
58
00:02:50,043 --> 00:02:51,459
Hang on!
59
00:02:53,584 --> 00:02:55,543
Well, butter my biscuits.
60
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:59,293
That boy did it.
He destroyed the alien hive mind.
61
00:02:59,293 --> 00:03:00,209
[humans] Ooh!
62
00:03:00,709 --> 00:03:03,168
[dramatic music playing]
63
00:03:07,543 --> 00:03:09,918
[crowd gasps]
64
00:03:09,918 --> 00:03:12,334
[heroic music playing]
65
00:03:12,334 --> 00:03:15,459
Now that's what I call a home run.
66
00:03:16,084 --> 00:03:18,043
[both moaning]
67
00:03:21,293 --> 00:03:23,459
[Lucy] Oh, now what do we do?
68
00:03:23,459 --> 00:03:26,209
Now we rebuild,
69
00:03:26,209 --> 00:03:27,543
or whatever.
70
00:03:27,543 --> 00:03:30,959
[crowd cheering]
71
00:03:30,959 --> 00:03:33,626
[grunts]
72
00:03:33,626 --> 00:03:36,501
Okay, so now I'm just fully naked.
73
00:03:36,501 --> 00:03:38,334
Oh! Oh! Oh!
74
00:03:38,334 --> 00:03:40,959
And that's the guy who defeated me? Cool.
75
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:43,501
I totally blew up that ship.
76
00:03:43,501 --> 00:03:45,876
[imitating Borat] Very nice! My wife!
77
00:03:45,876 --> 00:03:48,876
I don't think I caught your name earlier,
young man.
78
00:03:48,876 --> 00:03:51,001
Mulligan. Matty Mulligan.
79
00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:53,001
Senator Cartwright LaMarr.
80
00:03:53,001 --> 00:03:54,251
And it is an honor.
81
00:03:54,251 --> 00:03:58,084
Thanks to you, a small, precious piece
of humanity survived.
82
00:03:58,084 --> 00:04:00,668
But these people are gonna need
someone to lead them.
83
00:04:01,251 --> 00:04:03,584
A new hero for a new world.
84
00:04:03,584 --> 00:04:05,584
President Mulligan?
85
00:04:05,584 --> 00:04:08,793
- [all cheering]
- I like the sound of that, Senator.
86
00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:12,876
And of course, you'll need someone
experienced to be your number two.
87
00:04:12,876 --> 00:04:14,876
[chuckles] Number two.
88
00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:16,501
But yeah, sure.
89
00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:18,126
Welcome aboard, chief.
90
00:04:19,001 --> 00:04:22,168
And I know exactly
who I want to be my First Lady.
91
00:04:22,168 --> 00:04:23,251
[Lucy gasps]
92
00:04:23,251 --> 00:04:24,918
[tender music playing]
93
00:04:24,918 --> 00:04:26,709
[Lucy] The grenade pin!
94
00:04:26,709 --> 00:04:28,293
{\an8}It's like a fairy tale
95
00:04:28,293 --> 00:04:32,001
{\an8}'cause we just met, and before that,
I was unconscious for a while.
96
00:04:32,834 --> 00:04:36,834
[all cheering]
Matty and Lucy! Matty and Lucy!
97
00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:40,709
Don't worry,
me and Lucy are gonna fix everything.
98
00:04:40,709 --> 00:04:42,168
The end.
99
00:04:42,168 --> 00:04:46,334
[all continue cheering]
Matty and Lucy! Matty and Lucy!
100
00:04:46,334 --> 00:04:47,418
[dramatic sting]
101
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,209
Oh.
102
00:04:54,209 --> 00:04:56,043
I should've stayed awake in school more.
103
00:04:56,043 --> 00:04:58,251
Matty-- Uh, Mr. President.
104
00:04:58,251 --> 00:05:01,376
Is inflammable the same as flammable
or the opposite?
105
00:05:01,376 --> 00:05:02,793
[loud explosion]
106
00:05:02,793 --> 00:05:04,251
Okay, it's the same.
107
00:05:04,251 --> 00:05:05,918
English is funny, right?
108
00:05:07,584 --> 00:05:10,626
[theme music playing]
109
00:05:24,626 --> 00:05:25,501
{\an8}[Matty grunts]
110
00:05:27,626 --> 00:05:29,876
{\an8}[Lucy] Oh, so sad.
111
00:05:29,876 --> 00:05:31,209
{\an8}[Matty] Oh, I know.
112
00:05:31,209 --> 00:05:33,251
{\an8}All that air and space just...
113
00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:34,834
{\an8}[scoffs] ...gone.
114
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:38,168
God, this has gotta be
the worst time ever to be president.
115
00:05:38,168 --> 00:05:39,834
We don't even have electricity.
116
00:05:39,834 --> 00:05:41,043
[bottle hisses open]
117
00:05:41,043 --> 00:05:41,959
[slurps]
118
00:05:41,959 --> 00:05:42,959
[spits] Ugh!
119
00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:45,168
It's warm! Why?
120
00:05:45,168 --> 00:05:47,584
For, like, the hospitals or... or whatever.
121
00:05:47,584 --> 00:05:49,918
Well, at least we still have each other
122
00:05:49,918 --> 00:05:52,751
and that silly Washington Wizards mascot
to make us laugh.
123
00:05:52,751 --> 00:05:55,834
[mascot, muffled] Oh God!
The costume is fused to my skin!
124
00:05:55,834 --> 00:05:56,751
[all chuckle]
125
00:05:56,751 --> 00:05:57,709
I love that guy.
126
00:05:57,709 --> 00:05:59,293
Well said, madam.
127
00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:04,834
We are indeed fortunate to have
such an eloquent and exotic First Lady.
128
00:06:04,834 --> 00:06:07,543
Well, I'm not First Lady yet,
but I'm looking forward to it.
129
00:06:07,543 --> 00:06:09,418
As Miss Nevada, I started a program
130
00:06:09,418 --> 00:06:12,043
that matched old magic-show tigers
with prisoners.
131
00:06:12,043 --> 00:06:14,001
Just think what I could do as First Lady.
132
00:06:14,001 --> 00:06:16,584
Oh my God, it's Matty and Lucy!
133
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:18,334
Well, it is indeed.
134
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,043
Matty and Lucy!
135
00:06:20,043 --> 00:06:24,918
[all chanting] Matty and Lucy!
Matty and Lucy! Matty and Lucy!
136
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,793
- [Matty] Ah, you know it! Stay in school.
- [Lucy] Ah, mwah!
137
00:06:28,626 --> 00:06:30,251
[all continue] Matty and Lucy!
138
00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:31,543
[whimsical music plays]
139
00:06:33,209 --> 00:06:34,501
Hmm.
140
00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:36,043
[patriotic music plays]
141
00:06:37,626 --> 00:06:39,334
Ugh, phones.
142
00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:43,293
- Remember not answering phones?
- Aw! I miss that.
143
00:06:43,918 --> 00:06:45,834
So, where you from?
144
00:06:45,834 --> 00:06:48,251
Oh, right. Reno. You?
145
00:06:48,251 --> 00:06:49,918
Boston. Go all the sports.
146
00:06:49,918 --> 00:06:52,376
So, uh, first time in D.C.?
147
00:06:52,376 --> 00:06:53,918
First time anywhere.
148
00:06:53,918 --> 00:06:56,001
What else? What kind of Catholic are you?
149
00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:57,876
Look, I really do wanna get to know you,
150
00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:00,918
but I think there's more important stuff
for us to do first.
151
00:07:00,918 --> 00:07:03,293
Oh yeah, totally. Say no more.
152
00:07:03,918 --> 00:07:04,751
Oof.
153
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:06,626
Man.
154
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,918
Ah, jeez.
155
00:07:10,418 --> 00:07:11,543
[Matty groans]
156
00:07:11,543 --> 00:07:14,084
Come on, Matty, I believe in you.
157
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:15,834
You... you do?
158
00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:18,251
You blew up an entire alien army.
159
00:07:18,251 --> 00:07:22,459
You can totally figure out how to
"restart Fast & Furious franchise."
160
00:07:22,459 --> 00:07:23,668
Or one of the other ones.
161
00:07:23,668 --> 00:07:25,793
It's not like you
have to do everything alone.
162
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:27,834
You've got me. And LaMarr.
163
00:07:27,834 --> 00:07:29,459
Yeah, where'd that dude go?
164
00:07:29,459 --> 00:07:31,168
All in favor? All opposed?
165
00:07:31,168 --> 00:07:32,709
Zero-zero again.
166
00:07:32,709 --> 00:07:35,001
That means the vice president
breaks the tie,
167
00:07:35,001 --> 00:07:36,668
and I vote "aye."
168
00:07:36,668 --> 00:07:40,626
Money is now considered a person
under the law.
169
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:41,626
Moving on.
170
00:07:41,626 --> 00:07:44,376
I'm just saying, I bet there's lots
of people that can help out.
171
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,334
Mr. LaMarr is already doing politics.
172
00:07:46,334 --> 00:07:48,918
Why don't we get, like, experts
to do the other stuff?
173
00:07:48,918 --> 00:07:52,168
Lucy, dude, that's a great idea!
174
00:07:52,168 --> 00:07:56,084
Yes. That way, I can focus
on the stuff I'm good at,
175
00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:58,168
like giving everyone cool nicknames,
176
00:07:58,168 --> 00:07:59,084
L-Dog,
177
00:07:59,084 --> 00:08:02,959
while the experts take care of, you know,
water and food and all that stuff.
178
00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:06,001
And hopefully figure out
why the birds are acting so horny.
179
00:08:06,001 --> 00:08:09,376
- [upbeat rock music playing]
- [birds cooing]
180
00:08:09,376 --> 00:08:10,543
- Ugh.
- Ew.
181
00:08:10,543 --> 00:08:12,043
[acoustic sting]
182
00:08:14,751 --> 00:08:16,209
{\an8}[electric crackling]
183
00:08:17,209 --> 00:08:22,251
Well, what a wonderful idea it was
to assemble this here cabinet, Miss Suwan.
184
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:26,709
I do so enjoy when beauty queens
dictate executive branch policy.
185
00:08:26,709 --> 00:08:28,626
And you are very welcome.
186
00:08:29,751 --> 00:08:33,001
Okay, so these are, like,
the smartest people on Earth.
187
00:08:33,001 --> 00:08:34,584
Yes. Well, during the attack,
188
00:08:34,584 --> 00:08:37,209
most of our nation's
scientists and intellectuals
189
00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:39,793
fled the planet on Jeff Bezos' space ark.
190
00:08:39,793 --> 00:08:43,209
[Bezos] Everyone laughed at Bezos,
but who's laughing now?
191
00:08:43,209 --> 00:08:46,334
Bezos is! [chuckles]
192
00:08:46,334 --> 00:08:47,709
Bezos wins--
193
00:08:49,709 --> 00:08:53,251
But that's why you've got me
to handle all the boring old legislating.
194
00:08:53,251 --> 00:08:56,626
I've been Chair of the Senate Subcommittee
on Loopholes and Minutiae
195
00:08:56,626 --> 00:08:59,209
since I was knee-high to a crumbleberry.
196
00:08:59,209 --> 00:09:01,418
No, totally. You're my main guy.
197
00:09:01,418 --> 00:09:03,001
But, I mean, we could use some help.
198
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,001
Starting with Dr. Farrah Braun.
199
00:09:05,001 --> 00:09:06,584
She's a female scientist.
200
00:09:06,584 --> 00:09:08,376
Just scientist is fine.
201
00:09:08,376 --> 00:09:09,376
I was at DARPA.
202
00:09:09,376 --> 00:09:13,668
Right now, my focus is on
getting the tap water to stop doing this.
203
00:09:13,668 --> 00:09:14,876
- Oh God.
- [LaMarr groans]
204
00:09:14,876 --> 00:09:17,126
But I kind of have
my hands full with the boys.
205
00:09:17,126 --> 00:09:20,001
- Mom, Yu-Gi-Oh! won't play!
- I wanna watch Yu-Gi-Oh!
206
00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:22,293
We've been over this,
the Internet doesn't exist anymore.
207
00:09:22,293 --> 00:09:24,001
There's no screens. [chuckles]
208
00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:27,001
My nanny melted,
and now there's no screens!
209
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,793
If there's no electricity,
is there no electronica?
210
00:09:29,793 --> 00:09:31,793
Isn't that what the "elec" stands for?
211
00:09:31,793 --> 00:09:33,751
What will the clubs in Ibiza play?
212
00:09:33,751 --> 00:09:36,001
We Found Jeremy here
at the British Embassy.
213
00:09:36,001 --> 00:09:38,209
Listen to that accent. Guy's a genius.
214
00:09:38,209 --> 00:09:41,293
Are we to take Molly
and listen to silence?
215
00:09:41,293 --> 00:09:43,918
Maybe Professor Prioleau can answer that.
He does history.
216
00:09:43,918 --> 00:09:46,584
Oh, but that wasn't a history question.
And it was rhetorical.
217
00:09:46,584 --> 00:09:48,626
Well, we're going around the table
in order, so--
218
00:09:48,626 --> 00:09:51,043
Yep, okay. Hi. I'm Simon Prioleau.
219
00:09:51,043 --> 00:09:54,459
I'm a Georgetown post-doc
with a focus on 19th-century fonts--
220
00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:57,293
Okay, cool. Now all of you
are gonna love this next guy.
221
00:09:57,293 --> 00:09:59,043
General Scarpaccio, sir.
222
00:09:59,043 --> 00:10:02,918
Yeah, um, so as an important army man,
do I get to, like, shoot guns and stuff?
223
00:10:02,918 --> 00:10:05,334
Of course, sir.
Thank you for your service.
224
00:10:05,334 --> 00:10:06,793
I'm sorry, how old is he?
225
00:10:06,793 --> 00:10:07,918
Whoa, dude.
226
00:10:07,918 --> 00:10:09,251
One, racist.
227
00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:11,334
Two, support the troops.
228
00:10:11,334 --> 00:10:12,251
[whispers] Sorry.
229
00:10:12,251 --> 00:10:14,959
We also found a dentist and a carpenter.
230
00:10:14,959 --> 00:10:18,334
No, I sang backup vocals
for The Carpenters.
231
00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:21,668
And a guy who owns a shoe store
that didn't get blown up.
232
00:10:21,668 --> 00:10:23,418
Lots of debris out there! [chuckles]
233
00:10:23,418 --> 00:10:25,293
Folks are gonna need shoes more than ever!
234
00:10:25,293 --> 00:10:27,834
And as future First Lady
and your Miss America,
235
00:10:27,834 --> 00:10:31,501
my causes are animals,
childhood obesity, and elder literacy.
236
00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:34,126
Lucy Suwan, Washoe County, 5'6".
237
00:10:34,126 --> 00:10:38,001
Wait, but if there's no food,
then there's no obesity, right?
238
00:10:38,001 --> 00:10:39,001
You solved it!
239
00:10:39,001 --> 00:10:40,418
[gasps] Yeah.
240
00:10:40,418 --> 00:10:43,084
And I haven't seen
many old people since the attack.
241
00:10:43,084 --> 00:10:45,043
We think the aliens targeted them first
242
00:10:45,043 --> 00:10:47,376
because they assumed
that we revered our elders.
243
00:10:47,376 --> 00:10:49,584
But I am worried about the animals.
244
00:10:49,584 --> 00:10:52,543
I did a fact-finding tour
of the National Zoo this morning,
245
00:10:52,543 --> 00:10:54,584
and the facts I found were not good facts.
246
00:10:54,584 --> 00:10:57,501
We'd already be out of food
if the elephant hadn't 'sploded.
247
00:10:57,501 --> 00:10:58,709
[Lucy gasps] Oh.
248
00:10:58,709 --> 00:11:00,126
But the biggest issue's power.
249
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,459
The backup generator
barely produces enough juice
250
00:11:02,459 --> 00:11:04,543
for the freezer and my Foreman Grill.
251
00:11:04,543 --> 00:11:07,501
Are you sure I can't get you any elephant?
252
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:08,459
No, thanks.
253
00:11:09,793 --> 00:11:12,584
[muttering] Elephant was my friend.
254
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,709
[screeching] I DON'T SPEAK GORILLA!!!
255
00:11:14,709 --> 00:11:17,126
[in English] So the zoo has a generator?
256
00:11:17,126 --> 00:11:20,334
Those poor animals might be
the last of their kind left on Earth.
257
00:11:20,334 --> 00:11:21,626
We can't let them die out.
258
00:11:21,626 --> 00:11:23,793
Speaking of losing things forever, eh,
259
00:11:23,793 --> 00:11:26,668
the Smithsonian is kinda still on fire.
260
00:11:26,668 --> 00:11:29,584
Imagine if we lost
Woodrow Wilson's Klan hood.
261
00:11:29,584 --> 00:11:30,918
Why was that my example?
262
00:11:30,918 --> 00:11:34,626
Okay, sure, but the bottled water
is running out fast.
263
00:11:34,626 --> 00:11:38,376
♪ And the people need music ♪
264
00:11:38,376 --> 00:11:40,293
- ♪ Whoo! ♪
- So where do we start, sir?
265
00:11:40,293 --> 00:11:42,918
Um, why is everybody looking at me?
266
00:11:42,918 --> 00:11:45,126
I... I don't know. You're the experts.
267
00:11:45,126 --> 00:11:49,334
Yes, but you're the president
because you're good at throwing.
268
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:52,001
LaMarr, what are the things
that you're always having me sign?
269
00:11:52,001 --> 00:11:53,834
Ah! Executive order.
270
00:11:53,834 --> 00:11:55,084
You guys do it.
271
00:11:55,084 --> 00:11:56,501
The president's right.
272
00:11:56,501 --> 00:11:59,501
All this silly-billyness is beneath him.
273
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:03,459
Sir, your job isn't to sit in boring
meetings and make boring decisions.
274
00:12:03,459 --> 00:12:06,918
You and Lucy,
y'all's job is to give people hope.
275
00:12:06,918 --> 00:12:09,501
Those folks need something
to rally behind.
276
00:12:09,501 --> 00:12:12,043
They need their heroes
to distract them from, uh--
277
00:12:12,043 --> 00:12:13,251
Oh my word.
278
00:12:13,251 --> 00:12:15,959
Have we even had
a victory parade for y'all yet?
279
00:12:15,959 --> 00:12:18,168
No, we haven't!
280
00:12:18,168 --> 00:12:19,293
What the hell?
281
00:12:19,293 --> 00:12:20,501
Do I get to wave?
282
00:12:20,501 --> 00:12:23,209
- [triumphant music playing]
- [crowd clamoring, cheering]
283
00:12:28,293 --> 00:12:29,918
- Hi there. How's it going?
- Thank you.
284
00:12:29,918 --> 00:12:31,668
- You're welcome, for everything.
- Thank you.
285
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,126
I actually like this.
286
00:12:33,126 --> 00:12:34,959
Pulling a vehicle
is an honor in my culture.
287
00:12:34,959 --> 00:12:36,584
No one believes you, pal.
288
00:12:36,584 --> 00:12:39,459
I was a general.
They named a kind of hat after me.
289
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,001
Well, not bad, huh, Luce?
290
00:12:42,001 --> 00:12:43,876
Everyone seems happy.
291
00:12:43,876 --> 00:12:47,126
It's like a Reno car dealership opening,
and we're Frank Sinatra Jr.
292
00:12:48,043 --> 00:12:49,001
To us.
293
00:12:49,584 --> 00:12:51,043
How is this cold?
294
00:12:51,043 --> 00:12:52,751
Where did you get a generator?
295
00:12:52,751 --> 00:12:57,168
Oh, um, the generator store.
Yeah, nah, it's still open.
296
00:12:57,168 --> 00:12:58,501
[zookeeper] I'm sorry, Kojo.
297
00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:01,459
Some idiot stole the generator,
and all the food spoiled.
298
00:13:01,459 --> 00:13:04,543
You and the others will need
to fend for yourselves from now on.
299
00:13:04,543 --> 00:13:10,126
[muttering] Geri friend.
Geri spared in new world Kojo build.
300
00:13:10,126 --> 00:13:11,543
[in English] Aw!
301
00:13:11,543 --> 00:13:14,043
And... and who's to say
what cold even means?
302
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,876
Right? I mean, like, what's cold to me
303
00:13:15,876 --> 00:13:18,334
might feel burning hot
to, like, an ice person.
304
00:13:18,334 --> 00:13:19,501
- [screams, shrieks]
- Huh?
305
00:13:19,501 --> 00:13:21,001
- [woman screams]
- [Matty] Oh my God!
306
00:13:21,918 --> 00:13:23,293
[Lucy gasps] Matty!
307
00:13:23,293 --> 00:13:24,668
[elephant trumpeting]
308
00:13:24,668 --> 00:13:25,959
Unrelated!
309
00:13:25,959 --> 00:13:27,584
This is all his fault.
310
00:13:27,584 --> 00:13:29,209
Dude, shut up!
311
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,543
- [booing]
- [man] How could you?
312
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,751
- [woman] You're the animal!
- [man] You're the worst!
313
00:13:32,751 --> 00:13:35,376
- [booing continues]
- [scoffs] What's their problem?
314
00:13:35,376 --> 00:13:37,793
So a bunch of zoo animals escaped.
315
00:13:37,793 --> 00:13:40,334
It was only 'cause I wanted
to give everyone free beer.
316
00:13:40,334 --> 00:13:41,543
Uh, yes, splendid.
317
00:13:41,543 --> 00:13:44,501
But your loving public can be fickle,
so we need to pivot,
318
00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:47,626
like Stonewall Jackson
at Chancellorsville,
319
00:13:47,626 --> 00:13:49,459
or Dr. Martin Luther King also.
320
00:13:49,459 --> 00:13:51,251
Is this really going to distract us?
321
00:13:51,251 --> 00:13:53,043
I mean, we're running out of medicine
322
00:13:53,043 --> 00:13:55,084
and dinosaur chicken nuggets.
323
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,376
And no, my boys won't eat
regular chicken nuggets.
324
00:13:57,376 --> 00:14:00,626
Have you tried telling them
that they're actually dinosaur eggs?
325
00:14:00,626 --> 00:14:03,376
Of course I have, Mr. Vice President.
I have two PhDs.
326
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:04,918
Oh, this will all just blow over.
327
00:14:04,918 --> 00:14:07,793
Remember when Prince Charles dressed
that servant girl up like the queen
328
00:14:07,793 --> 00:14:09,376
and tried to drown her in the bath?
329
00:14:09,376 --> 00:14:11,251
That was only in the news for like a day.
330
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:14,376
Oh my God, princes aren't real, man.
This is real life.
331
00:14:14,376 --> 00:14:17,751
And I'm afraid the news cycle
isn't as fast as it used to be.
332
00:14:17,751 --> 00:14:18,751
Hey, everybody!
333
00:14:18,751 --> 00:14:22,334
The president took the generator,
and now all the zoo animals got away.
334
00:14:22,334 --> 00:14:25,626
Did you see? There's animals everywhere
'cause of the president!
335
00:14:25,626 --> 00:14:27,376
Well, I agree with the protesters.
336
00:14:27,376 --> 00:14:28,751
So boo!
337
00:14:28,751 --> 00:14:30,459
Boo to you!
338
00:14:30,459 --> 00:14:32,709
You knew animals was one of my causes.
339
00:14:32,709 --> 00:14:34,584
Okay, executive order!
340
00:14:34,584 --> 00:14:36,584
Everyone's gotta be nice to me again.
341
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,584
Listen, we need some good news.
342
00:14:38,584 --> 00:14:41,418
Something to distract
our slack-jawed constituents.
343
00:14:41,418 --> 00:14:43,168
I'm having a sale on Reeboks.
344
00:14:43,168 --> 00:14:46,334
I might be able to reverse-engineer
some of my military tech
345
00:14:46,334 --> 00:14:47,793
to purify the water,
346
00:14:47,793 --> 00:14:49,668
but I don't have childcare
in the afternoon.
347
00:14:49,668 --> 00:14:52,959
Uh-huh. And who's taking care
of your children now?
348
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:55,334
Uh, TOD-209 has them.
349
00:14:55,334 --> 00:14:59,168
TOD is a, uh, cyborg super soldier
my lab was working on.
350
00:14:59,168 --> 00:15:00,418
He helped fight the aliens.
351
00:15:01,418 --> 00:15:05,293
No! No, bad TOD! Fight the aliens!
352
00:15:08,084 --> 00:15:10,043
I told them he wasn't ready.
353
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,251
I'm sorry,
that's who's watching your kids?
354
00:15:12,251 --> 00:15:16,001
You really need to choose
between your career and family, Doctor.
355
00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:17,043
Still?
356
00:15:17,043 --> 00:15:21,501
Uh, um, well, maybe saving the artifacts
in the old Smithsonian--
357
00:15:21,501 --> 00:15:22,626
- [shrieks]
- [gasps]
358
00:15:23,626 --> 00:15:24,959
"President bad."
359
00:15:24,959 --> 00:15:26,543
Check the other side, General.
360
00:15:26,543 --> 00:15:27,834
Does it say "mama jama"?
361
00:15:27,834 --> 00:15:28,793
It's just one side.
362
00:15:28,793 --> 00:15:33,001
We gotta nip this unrest in its bud, sir,
which means doing something big.
363
00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:36,959
You and Miss Suwan
are getting married tomorrow.
364
00:15:36,959 --> 00:15:37,876
Tomorrow?
365
00:15:37,876 --> 00:15:41,459
A big ol' royal wedding
will change the conversation,
366
00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:44,001
give the people something
to get excited about.
367
00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:46,918
Hey, for our first dance,
you can pick anything from Jock Jams.
368
00:15:46,918 --> 00:15:49,418
- I... I... I don't wanna marry you.
- Huh?
369
00:15:49,418 --> 00:15:53,543
I thought I could do this,
but those animals don't have homes now
370
00:15:53,543 --> 00:15:54,543
because of you!
371
00:15:54,543 --> 00:15:55,918
Who cares?
372
00:15:55,918 --> 00:15:58,709
People deserve a generator, not animals.
373
00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:02,626
It goes God, Jesus, people, animals,
374
00:16:02,626 --> 00:16:05,501
plants, fish, bugs, dirt--
375
00:16:05,501 --> 00:16:07,543
We can circle back to the nuptials.
376
00:16:07,543 --> 00:16:09,959
Uh, what else distracts ordinary folks?
377
00:16:09,959 --> 00:16:12,709
Uh, does anyone have a trampoline?
378
00:16:16,126 --> 00:16:17,543
- Knock, knock.
- Simon.
379
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:22,084
Um, I would've called first,
but, uh, there are no phones.
380
00:16:22,626 --> 00:16:25,626
- In my head, I thought that was a joke.
- Really? How so?
381
00:16:25,626 --> 00:16:29,251
Anyhoozzle, I just thought,
'Hey, you know, Dr. Braun's a scientist."
382
00:16:29,251 --> 00:16:32,459
"Maybe she has some science stuff that
could put out all those museum fires."
383
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:36,584
Well, last year, I was working on
a cloud-seeding program for DoD.
384
00:16:36,584 --> 00:16:38,626
The idea was if we could make it rain,
385
00:16:38,626 --> 00:16:40,709
Kim-Jong Un
would have to cancel all his picnics.
386
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:44,001
But now I can't access the DARPA Intranet,
387
00:16:44,001 --> 00:16:47,001
so I have to go through
the paper files, which are a mess.
388
00:16:47,001 --> 00:16:48,584
This isn't even in the right box.
389
00:16:48,584 --> 00:16:51,709
Ugh, boxes, am I right? [groans]
390
00:16:51,709 --> 00:16:53,876
What's that? Sorry, I'm a little fried.
391
00:16:53,876 --> 00:16:56,876
Work, and since the invasion,
I'm all my kids have.
392
00:16:56,876 --> 00:16:58,626
[boy whimpers] Giant bugs.
393
00:16:59,334 --> 00:17:01,751
No, don't bomb GameStop!
394
00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,626
- [Simon] Ugh.
- It's overwhelming.
395
00:17:03,626 --> 00:17:07,543
We may be the two smartest people
left on Earth, Simon,
396
00:17:07,543 --> 00:17:11,293
but are we supposed to save civilization
all by ourselves?
397
00:17:11,293 --> 00:17:14,001
[TOD-209] TOD get it. Is stressful time.
398
00:17:14,001 --> 00:17:16,334
- Sounds like we all need unwind.
- [Simon gasps]
399
00:17:16,334 --> 00:17:17,709
Well...
400
00:17:17,709 --> 00:17:19,168
[whimsical music playing]
401
00:17:19,751 --> 00:17:21,168
- Hmm?
- [Simon] Mmm!
402
00:17:21,168 --> 00:17:22,334
[patriotic music plays]
403
00:17:24,876 --> 00:17:25,751
[Matty gasps]
404
00:17:27,543 --> 00:17:31,668
[scoffs] First you blow up my planet,
now you block my bowling alley?
405
00:17:31,668 --> 00:17:34,043
If you let me go,
you can bowl all you want.
406
00:17:34,043 --> 00:17:36,543
And it's not even candlepin.
407
00:17:36,543 --> 00:17:38,751
Well, no wonder everybody hates Nixon.
408
00:17:38,751 --> 00:17:41,043
Ugh! What else can go wrong today?
409
00:17:41,626 --> 00:17:44,626
Axatrax, two days ago, I was a hero,
410
00:17:44,626 --> 00:17:47,543
president, engaged to a pre-attack 11,
411
00:17:47,543 --> 00:17:49,834
and now everyone's pissed at me.
412
00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:51,001
Look...
413
00:17:51,001 --> 00:17:53,251
[sighs] ...I get it.
414
00:17:53,251 --> 00:17:55,793
I was in command of an unstoppable army,
415
00:17:55,793 --> 00:17:58,959
I had the kitchen of my dreams, and now--
416
00:17:58,959 --> 00:18:01,293
You're a loser. Everyone hates you.
417
00:18:01,293 --> 00:18:02,376
I hear you, bro.
418
00:18:02,376 --> 00:18:04,626
Oh, wonderful, we're bonding.
419
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:06,418
Do you have sarcasm here?
420
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:09,834
I don't know what your life was like
before you totally beefed your invasion,
421
00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:12,084
but all I've ever done is screw up.
422
00:18:12,084 --> 00:18:16,376
My scholarship, my baseball career,
the hockey league I started with dogs,
423
00:18:16,376 --> 00:18:19,126
but then I whipped a grenade
into that vent--
424
00:18:19,126 --> 00:18:22,376
I told them I wanted vent covers.
What was the point of all those meetings?
425
00:18:22,376 --> 00:18:23,834
I finally got a win.
426
00:18:23,834 --> 00:18:27,668
I mean, saving the planet is, like,
the first thing I've ever done right.
427
00:18:27,668 --> 00:18:29,751
Why can't every day be like that?
428
00:18:29,751 --> 00:18:31,876
Oh, so you want us to invade again?
429
00:18:31,876 --> 00:18:32,834
No, but--
430
00:18:33,418 --> 00:18:34,751
- Huh.
- What?
431
00:18:35,793 --> 00:18:36,668
What?
432
00:18:36,668 --> 00:18:37,584
[panting]
433
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,834
Everyone watch out! It escaped!
434
00:18:40,709 --> 00:18:43,209
I did not escape! This man let me out--
435
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,209
- Hiyah!
- [Axatrax gasps]
436
00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:46,876
- Ow, stop that!
- [Matty grunts]
437
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:48,501
Oh come on!
438
00:18:48,501 --> 00:18:49,418
Ow!
439
00:18:49,418 --> 00:18:51,793
- Get off my plane!
- [Axatrax continues grunting]
440
00:18:51,793 --> 00:18:54,876
Lucy, look! I'm saving you
from the aliens again!
441
00:18:54,876 --> 00:18:56,126
Come on, let's make out!
442
00:18:56,126 --> 00:18:57,543
This is pathetic.
443
00:18:57,543 --> 00:19:00,251
You let him out just to what,
capture him again?
444
00:19:00,251 --> 00:19:04,084
- [Axatrax] Anyone see where my arm went?
- And for the record, you didn't "save me."
445
00:19:04,084 --> 00:19:05,876
I was flying the hang glider.
446
00:19:05,876 --> 00:19:09,501
Pageant prizes aren't always scholarships.
Sometimes they're hang-gliding lessons.
447
00:19:09,501 --> 00:19:11,626
You were attached to me
in the little BabyBjörn thing.
448
00:19:11,626 --> 00:19:14,168
I was not a baby. My feet could touch.
449
00:19:14,168 --> 00:19:15,251
Green, about yea long.
450
00:19:15,251 --> 00:19:17,834
You may be good at throwing grenades,
Matthew Mulligan,
451
00:19:17,834 --> 00:19:21,501
but you are bad at president-ing,
because you're selfish.
452
00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:25,043
Oh yeah? Well, your dumb causes are dumb.
453
00:19:25,043 --> 00:19:26,793
Old people smell weird,
454
00:19:26,793 --> 00:19:28,001
fat kids are funny,
455
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,376
and animals are supposed to be food.
456
00:19:30,376 --> 00:19:32,709
- We should be eating that thing.
- [panda] Hmm?
457
00:19:32,709 --> 00:19:35,751
Oh my God, you're the worst!
458
00:19:36,793 --> 00:19:38,418
- Ugh!
- No, wait, come back.
459
00:19:38,418 --> 00:19:40,084
I... I was just negging you,
460
00:19:40,084 --> 00:19:41,209
like in the book.
461
00:19:41,209 --> 00:19:42,793
Lucy!
462
00:19:43,751 --> 00:19:44,959
Oh, you love it.
463
00:19:46,501 --> 00:19:47,668
[whimsical music plays]
464
00:19:47,668 --> 00:19:48,584
Hmm.
465
00:19:52,584 --> 00:19:54,459
She'll be here. Negging always works.
466
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:55,668
Hey, no rush.
467
00:19:55,668 --> 00:19:58,501
I'm just psyched
to be doing priest stuff again.
468
00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:00,126
Re-frocked, baby.
469
00:20:00,126 --> 00:20:02,793
Uh, Mr. President, Lucy's not coming.
470
00:20:02,793 --> 00:20:05,334
And if you ask me,
this here's an opportunity.
471
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:06,751
Did you really wanna marry
472
00:20:06,751 --> 00:20:10,043
some chatty Catherine
with a bunch of big ideas?
473
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:12,959
But if she doesn't show up,
it would be wicked embarrassing.
474
00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:14,876
Should I, like, pull a fire alarm
or something?
475
00:20:14,876 --> 00:20:15,918
Not hardly.
476
00:20:15,918 --> 00:20:18,751
No, the people need
their bread and circuses.
477
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:19,959
Right, like a churro.
478
00:20:19,959 --> 00:20:21,751
Oh, believe me, I've seen what happens
479
00:20:21,751 --> 00:20:23,793
when folks get disenchanted
with a movement.
480
00:20:23,793 --> 00:20:25,834
If we don't give 'em
something they can believe in,
481
00:20:25,834 --> 00:20:28,584
those hippies out there
are gonna turn into Charlie Mansonses,
482
00:20:28,584 --> 00:20:31,543
which is why I arranged for backup.
483
00:20:31,543 --> 00:20:33,918
[dramatic piano music playing]
484
00:20:33,918 --> 00:20:36,793
- Wait, a what?
- Sandra was an NFL cheerleader.
485
00:20:36,793 --> 00:20:39,501
You know they're not allowed
to wear underwear?
486
00:20:39,501 --> 00:20:41,709
Wait, hold up.
I feel like I should meet her first.
487
00:20:41,709 --> 00:20:44,334
You and I, we're a team here, son.
488
00:20:44,334 --> 00:20:46,793
I'm the brains and the fingers of America,
489
00:20:46,793 --> 00:20:49,084
but you, you're its handsome face.
490
00:20:49,084 --> 00:20:50,793
And for me to do my job,
491
00:20:50,793 --> 00:20:54,876
all I need is for you to smile
and give the people a little show.
492
00:20:56,459 --> 00:20:58,793
Pretty as a painting, ain't she?
493
00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:00,459
Now get it done!
494
00:21:01,251 --> 00:21:04,834
So you have a ring,
or do you need me to hook you up?
495
00:21:05,793 --> 00:21:07,834
[enchanting sting]
496
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:10,668
{\an8}I guess we're missing
the president's wedding.
497
00:21:10,668 --> 00:21:12,084
Screw him.
498
00:21:12,084 --> 00:21:15,459
He's got to be the, like,
fourth-worst president ever.
499
00:21:15,459 --> 00:21:17,918
For reals!
It's like the swamp is drained now.
500
00:21:17,918 --> 00:21:19,709
'Cause the death rays boiled it.
501
00:21:19,709 --> 00:21:22,126
Don't worry, we still got
a couple of white guys in charge.
502
00:21:22,126 --> 00:21:24,084
Yeah! You know, before the aliens,
503
00:21:24,084 --> 00:21:26,376
Senator LaMarr tried to make
Black History Month
504
00:21:26,376 --> 00:21:29,918
a one-day holiday on February 31st.
505
00:21:29,918 --> 00:21:34,084
The president told me his favorite book
is the script for Boondock Saints.
506
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,334
Yeah. [inhales]
507
00:21:35,334 --> 00:21:37,918
Okay, so we should quit.
508
00:21:37,918 --> 00:21:41,209
For sure. I mean,
why bother trying to preserve a world
509
00:21:41,209 --> 00:21:43,209
that no one ever appreciated
to begin with?
510
00:21:43,209 --> 00:21:46,293
Seriously. The only thing anyone but us
would miss in the whole Smithsonian
511
00:21:46,293 --> 00:21:48,334
is, like, Fonzie's jacket.
512
00:21:48,334 --> 00:21:50,918
Oh no, we can't lose Fonzie's jacket.
513
00:21:50,918 --> 00:21:53,001
How will kids learn about Fonzies?
514
00:21:53,001 --> 00:21:55,126
{\an8}[both chuckling]
515
00:21:55,126 --> 00:21:56,918
{\an8}[TOD-209] TOD loot mimosas.
516
00:21:56,918 --> 00:21:58,251
- [Dr. Braun] Whoo!
- [Simon] Yeah!
517
00:21:59,834 --> 00:22:02,334
Good luck without us, Mr. President.
518
00:22:02,918 --> 00:22:04,209
Oh, this is full of broken glass.
519
00:22:04,209 --> 00:22:06,293
[TOD-209] TOD such a Miranda.
520
00:22:08,626 --> 00:22:09,459
[sighs]
521
00:22:09,459 --> 00:22:10,918
I couldn't go through with it, man.
522
00:22:10,918 --> 00:22:13,793
Is this gonna be a regular thing now, or--
523
00:22:13,793 --> 00:22:15,834
LaMarr wanted me
to marry this cheerleader,
524
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:17,543
but I didn't even know her.
525
00:22:17,543 --> 00:22:19,668
I mean, I don't know Lucy that good,
526
00:22:19,668 --> 00:22:23,084
but she's brave,
and she cares about stuff,
527
00:22:23,084 --> 00:22:24,876
and she's totally my type.
528
00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:26,709
Yes, I remember your big speech.
529
00:22:26,709 --> 00:22:30,001
And I am not on board
with freckles, period.
530
00:22:30,001 --> 00:22:32,459
I hooked up with this one chick
whose face looked like--
531
00:22:32,459 --> 00:22:33,959
LaMarr was pretty pissed.
532
00:22:33,959 --> 00:22:36,626
He took a glove off a corpse
and slapped me with it.
533
00:22:36,626 --> 00:22:40,334
But I don't know. I mean,
I just couldn't get Lucy out of my head.
534
00:22:40,334 --> 00:22:43,084
She hang glidered onto a spaceship,
535
00:22:43,084 --> 00:22:45,543
and she said she believes in me.
536
00:22:45,543 --> 00:22:47,543
No one's ever said that to me before.
537
00:22:47,543 --> 00:22:50,793
I mean, my dad left his drywall business
to my little sister.
538
00:22:50,793 --> 00:22:51,709
Ouch.
539
00:22:51,709 --> 00:22:55,459
But I screwed it up with Lucy
just like I screw up everything else.
540
00:22:55,459 --> 00:22:57,459
- Honestly, Axie--
- Do not call me that.
541
00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:59,876
Part of me wishes
you never even came to this planet.
542
00:22:59,876 --> 00:23:01,959
- Shazbot.
- Why did you come here?
543
00:23:01,959 --> 00:23:04,543
Earth is like a C-minus these days.
544
00:23:04,543 --> 00:23:05,668
[sighs]
545
00:23:05,668 --> 00:23:07,793
My planet is dying.
546
00:23:07,793 --> 00:23:10,959
We used up
all the natural resources on Cardi-B--
547
00:23:10,959 --> 00:23:12,251
Your planet is named--
548
00:23:12,251 --> 00:23:13,959
It's a coincidence!
549
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,793
After we poisoned our environment,
550
00:23:15,793 --> 00:23:19,168
my armada was sent
to clear Earth for resettlement.
551
00:23:19,168 --> 00:23:21,209
We were going to have a clean slate.
552
00:23:21,209 --> 00:23:23,543
A chance to do it right this time.
553
00:23:23,543 --> 00:23:25,834
Yes! That's it!
554
00:23:25,834 --> 00:23:27,334
I'm a genius!
555
00:23:27,834 --> 00:23:29,543
And I knew your arm would grow back!
556
00:23:29,543 --> 00:23:30,751
I don't believe you.
557
00:23:30,751 --> 00:23:31,751
[gavel thuds]
558
00:23:31,751 --> 00:23:35,459
The measure passes.
Gun ownership begins at conception.
559
00:23:35,459 --> 00:23:36,543
- [Matty] LaMarr!
- Oh!
560
00:23:36,543 --> 00:23:38,543
- Executive order!
- [heroic music plays]
561
00:23:40,084 --> 00:23:42,959
[TOD-209]
Gang has several hours until curfew.
562
00:23:42,959 --> 00:23:44,501
Checking movie listings.
563
00:23:44,501 --> 00:23:46,918
The following movies are now playing:
564
00:23:46,918 --> 00:23:48,168
No movies.
565
00:23:48,168 --> 00:23:49,834
- Ugh, no kidding.
- [woman] Hey.
566
00:23:49,834 --> 00:23:53,543
You guys gotta get to the National Mall.
Executive order.
567
00:23:55,293 --> 00:23:56,251
[Lucy] Yoo-hoo!
568
00:23:56,834 --> 00:23:59,501
Don't be scared, little animals.
Oink, oink.
569
00:23:59,501 --> 00:24:00,793
Roar!
570
00:24:01,418 --> 00:24:02,418
Giraffe noise?
571
00:24:02,418 --> 00:24:04,959
- Ah, Lucy.
- Goshdamn it, Matty.
572
00:24:04,959 --> 00:24:06,168
How'd you even find me here?
573
00:24:06,168 --> 00:24:08,584
Two words. Helicopter.
574
00:24:08,584 --> 00:24:11,001
Hi, Lucy. I helicoptered!
575
00:24:11,001 --> 00:24:12,543
Hi, General Scarpaccio.
576
00:24:12,543 --> 00:24:13,751
What do you want, Matty?
577
00:24:13,751 --> 00:24:15,959
Come on, I gotta show you something.
578
00:24:17,251 --> 00:24:18,084
Please?
579
00:24:18,084 --> 00:24:19,251
Ugh, fine.
580
00:24:24,376 --> 00:24:25,459
Giraffe noise?
581
00:24:25,959 --> 00:24:28,334
- [turkey gobbles]
- [heroic music playing]
582
00:24:30,834 --> 00:24:32,459
Wait, you did this?
583
00:24:32,459 --> 00:24:35,043
[Matty] Yep. I executive ordered everyone
584
00:24:35,043 --> 00:24:37,918
to pour all the skunked beer
on the museum fire.
585
00:24:37,918 --> 00:24:40,334
{\an8}You know, to save all the crap.
586
00:24:40,334 --> 00:24:42,668
- Huh.
- I don't always just think of myself.
587
00:24:42,668 --> 00:24:45,668
[Simon panting]
Mr. President, this is amazing!
588
00:24:45,668 --> 00:24:46,834
Uh, ya think?
589
00:24:46,834 --> 00:24:50,126
You see, I realized this whole mess
could actually be a good thing.
590
00:24:50,126 --> 00:24:54,334
It's a clean slate.
It's America 2: The Sequel!
591
00:24:54,334 --> 00:24:57,376
Well, you're describing more of a reboot
than a sequel, but... but sure.
592
00:24:57,376 --> 00:24:59,709
We rocked ass before.
593
00:24:59,709 --> 00:25:03,584
Remember that fried chicken sandwich
where the bread was fried chicken?
594
00:25:03,584 --> 00:25:07,584
But, okay, I'm gonna say it,
America wasn't perfect.
595
00:25:07,584 --> 00:25:09,959
- What? Not America!
- It isn't? Why wasn't I told?
596
00:25:09,959 --> 00:25:12,793
'Cause some people
couldn't get a fair shake,
597
00:25:13,418 --> 00:25:16,584
no matter how many times
he applied to The Bachelor. [sighs]
598
00:25:16,584 --> 00:25:18,376
So let's make a new world.
599
00:25:18,959 --> 00:25:21,793
One where a guy like me
can win one for once.
600
00:25:21,793 --> 00:25:24,334
Wow. Okay, maybe.
601
00:25:24,334 --> 00:25:28,126
Also, maybe we could fulfill the promise
of the Declaration of Independence.
602
00:25:28,126 --> 00:25:31,543
And we can finally have equal pay
and universal childcare.
603
00:25:31,543 --> 00:25:32,459
[all chuckling]
604
00:25:32,459 --> 00:25:35,209
[TOD-209] Ha. Ha. Good one, Farrah.
605
00:25:35,209 --> 00:25:36,126
Goddamn it.
606
00:25:36,126 --> 00:25:38,376
So yeah, let's save some stuff.
607
00:25:38,376 --> 00:25:40,584
But only the good stuff.
608
00:25:40,584 --> 00:25:42,918
I know how much you care about history.
609
00:25:43,418 --> 00:25:44,709
It's Fonzie's jacket.
610
00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:47,168
Yes, history.
611
00:25:47,168 --> 00:25:48,584
Thank you, Mr. President.
612
00:25:49,209 --> 00:25:51,626
What do you say? Can we start over?
613
00:25:51,626 --> 00:25:54,418
Well, everyone deserves a second chance,
614
00:25:54,918 --> 00:25:56,543
even the whole world.
615
00:25:56,543 --> 00:25:59,709
So, like, you and me
have a real first date?
616
00:25:59,709 --> 00:26:01,876
I don't know
if any Olive Gardens survived,
617
00:26:01,876 --> 00:26:03,876
but no Olive Garden, okay?
618
00:26:04,501 --> 00:26:07,043
Let's all start over. Tabula rasa!
619
00:26:07,043 --> 00:26:09,126
And let's get it right this time.
620
00:26:09,126 --> 00:26:10,626
[TOD-209] Yes, it is a new--
621
00:26:10,626 --> 00:26:14,126
[TOD-209 in distorted voice]
Error. Replace brain tank fluid. Error.
622
00:26:14,126 --> 00:26:16,834
[all chuckling]
623
00:26:16,834 --> 00:26:17,876
- This guy.
- TOD.
624
00:26:17,876 --> 00:26:19,251
- Classic TOD.
- Yeah, you said it.
625
00:26:19,251 --> 00:26:20,543
Oh God, where are my kids?
626
00:26:20,543 --> 00:26:21,709
[LaMarr] Hmm.
627
00:26:21,709 --> 00:26:24,334
That boy might could be a problem.
628
00:26:25,668 --> 00:26:27,668
[uplifting music playing]
629
00:26:27,668 --> 00:26:29,168
[eagle screeches]
630
00:26:31,834 --> 00:26:32,876
[harp glissando]
631
00:26:32,876 --> 00:26:34,584
[trumpet blows]
632
00:26:34,584 --> 00:26:36,918
[Matty] Guys, I found a trumpet!
633
00:26:36,918 --> 00:26:38,876
[closing theme music playing]
634
00:27:36,001 --> 00:27:37,293
[music fades]