1 00:00:06,291 --> 00:00:09,916 [gentle music playing] 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,500 Thank you all for coming! 3 00:00:11,583 --> 00:00:12,458 Coming where? 4 00:00:12,541 --> 00:00:15,125 - We live here. You're in our house. - [crowd] Yeah. 5 00:00:15,208 --> 00:00:18,458 I've got a freakin' huge announcement! 6 00:00:18,541 --> 00:00:20,583 Okay, do the '90s Bulls' intro song. 7 00:00:20,666 --> 00:00:21,583 I said no to that. 8 00:00:21,666 --> 00:00:26,166 [singing] Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, bummm! 9 00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:28,000 Que the diavolo is it? 10 00:00:28,083 --> 00:00:29,708 [mascot] Iz da da size of ya pegga? 11 00:00:29,791 --> 00:00:31,541 He wishes, 'Scotty. 12 00:00:31,625 --> 00:00:33,500 [scoffs] No, it's a seed. 13 00:00:33,583 --> 00:00:35,375 We found seeds! 14 00:00:35,875 --> 00:00:38,541 Hey! I command you to give that back. 15 00:00:38,625 --> 00:00:42,125 Your domain is the air, I know that, but seeds are of the earth! 16 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:43,500 Classic Mulligan. 17 00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:48,416 The only thing this guy's done in six months is ruin my bathroom plane. 18 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,333 I knew I wasn't filling it up that fast. 19 00:00:50,416 --> 00:00:53,083 Hey, President Mulligan's done a lot. 20 00:00:53,166 --> 00:00:54,791 Remember that giant egg monster? 21 00:00:54,875 --> 00:00:56,208 - That he created! - [crowd boos] 22 00:00:56,291 --> 00:00:57,541 [woman] His fault! 23 00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,791 Well, I also got President Cha... 24 00:00:59,875 --> 00:01:00,791 ♪ Chugga choo-choo ♪ 25 00:01:00,875 --> 00:01:02,583 ♪ Listen to my train sounds ♪ 26 00:01:02,666 --> 00:01:04,184 ♪ I'm the president of train sounds ♪ 27 00:01:04,208 --> 00:01:06,458 ♪ That's why I said "president" earlier ♪ 28 00:01:06,541 --> 00:01:08,125 He's trying, okay? 29 00:01:08,208 --> 00:01:10,208 Sometimes people do good things, and... 30 00:01:10,791 --> 00:01:11,916 you learn about it later 31 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,125 and realize they're maybe better people than you thought they were. 32 00:01:16,416 --> 00:01:18,083 [indistinct chatter] 33 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,208 Yadda. Yadda yadda. 34 00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:23,666 I think you won them over. 35 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,375 - [all yelling] - Yadda! Yadda! 36 00:01:25,458 --> 00:01:28,208 I don't agree with that guy, but you gotta respect him! 37 00:01:28,291 --> 00:01:29,583 Yadda! 38 00:01:29,666 --> 00:01:32,708 [theme music playing] 39 00:01:57,166 --> 00:01:59,416 - [clamoring] - [indistinct yells] 40 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,125 What the hell did you do? 41 00:02:02,208 --> 00:02:03,416 Now you're yelling at me? 42 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,000 What are you, the lady at Costco? 43 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,458 If a toothpick can go in it, it is a sample! 44 00:02:07,541 --> 00:02:10,000 It's worse than 1968 out there. 45 00:02:10,083 --> 00:02:13,333 And we don't even have a CIA to create Woodstock for us. 46 00:02:13,416 --> 00:02:14,625 W-Wait, the CIA... 47 00:02:14,708 --> 00:02:17,583 To distract and mollify the hippie-dippie-doos. 48 00:02:17,666 --> 00:02:20,291 Get them all in one place, and then reeducate 'em 49 00:02:20,375 --> 00:02:22,916 through the CIA's clandestine rock 'n' roll unit, 50 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,208 the Groovy Tangerine Situation. 51 00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:28,416 ♪ Lavender smile cats, go get a job ♪ 52 00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,666 ♪ Homeownership is groovy ♪ 53 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:32,500 ♪ Take out a loan ♪ 54 00:02:32,583 --> 00:02:34,875 ♪ We're the Groovy Tangerine Situation ♪ 55 00:02:34,958 --> 00:02:36,291 ♪ Abandon the cities ♪ 56 00:02:36,375 --> 00:02:38,375 ♪ Sex is for procreation ♪ 57 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:39,791 ♪ Abandon the cities ♪ 58 00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:41,500 - [LaMarr humming] Oh! - [looter grunts] 59 00:02:42,083 --> 00:02:43,208 What do they want me to do? 60 00:02:43,291 --> 00:02:45,416 And they can't just all yell it at once. 61 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,500 They should make a list, 62 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,458 and then pick, like, their favorite person to bring me the list. 63 00:02:49,541 --> 00:02:53,083 And then if I like it, I'll, like, write my name on it, and then we'll do it. 64 00:02:53,166 --> 00:02:56,000 Uh, well, Mr. President, I think you just invented Congress. 65 00:02:56,083 --> 00:03:00,041 [chuckles] Oh, well, I think we're doing just fine with a one-man senate. 66 00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:04,041 A Congressional election would be an opportunity for positive change. 67 00:03:04,125 --> 00:03:07,166 That's what we're trying to do, right? Get it right this time? 68 00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:11,500 Right? So I guess the past 200 years weren't working for y'all? 69 00:03:11,583 --> 00:03:12,809 - They were not. - Very much no. 70 00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:13,916 We gotta try something. 71 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,040 We're supposed to make those people out there happy, 72 00:03:16,083 --> 00:03:17,416 but they're not happy. 73 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,125 [Grimes] I'm pooping on the lawn! 74 00:03:19,208 --> 00:03:21,291 Grimes is pooping on the lawn. 75 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,500 So maybe if we let them pick a favorite person, 76 00:03:23,583 --> 00:03:25,291 they'd at least know we're listening. 77 00:03:25,375 --> 00:03:28,708 Yeah, we're doing it. We're having an election. 78 00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:31,000 And not just 'cause elections are a great excuse 79 00:03:31,083 --> 00:03:32,833 to be late for work on a Tuesday, 80 00:03:32,916 --> 00:03:36,250 which means you can get blackout drunk on a Monday night. 81 00:03:36,833 --> 00:03:38,273 - [Dr. Braun] Okay. - [Simon] Huzzah. 82 00:03:39,166 --> 00:03:41,083 Why can't people see me like this? 83 00:03:41,166 --> 00:03:43,541 Being all presidential and stuff, you know? 84 00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:47,291 Like, "I'm not the president. My name is Dave Kovic." 85 00:03:47,916 --> 00:03:49,166 That's from the movie Dave. 86 00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:51,916 Well, after Easter, it's a lot easier to see inside. 87 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,750 We could invite people to come watch their government at work. 88 00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:57,583 [scoffs] Now you want transparency in government? 89 00:03:57,666 --> 00:04:01,333 If they see how the sausage gets made, they're never gonna wanna eat us. 90 00:04:01,416 --> 00:04:02,958 Hey, we're doing an election, 91 00:04:03,041 --> 00:04:04,583 we're doing transparency, 92 00:04:04,666 --> 00:04:06,958 and for some reason, now I'm hungry for sausage. 93 00:04:07,041 --> 00:04:08,791 Goddamn, I miss sausage. 94 00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:09,958 [whimsical music plays] 95 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,541 - [Alfred panting] - [crowd clamoring] 96 00:04:11,625 --> 00:04:14,541 [scratching] 97 00:04:14,625 --> 00:04:15,625 [electronic whirring] 98 00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:19,250 [dramatic sting] 99 00:04:20,166 --> 00:04:21,541 Forty-five over 92. 100 00:04:21,625 --> 00:04:22,750 [indistinct chatter] 101 00:04:22,833 --> 00:04:24,291 [man screams] 102 00:04:24,375 --> 00:04:26,375 [TOD-209] Ah! 103 00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:28,333 Ah, human screaming, 104 00:04:28,416 --> 00:04:29,666 that really brings me back. 105 00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:32,208 Thanks for that. You are a good friend. 106 00:04:33,416 --> 00:04:34,583 [harp glissando] 107 00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:36,583 What a fun day. 108 00:04:37,166 --> 00:04:38,208 I got a cool T-shirt, 109 00:04:38,291 --> 00:04:40,000 I ate a bunch of dinosaur bones, 110 00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:42,041 and I stole the Hope Diamond. 111 00:04:42,125 --> 00:04:43,541 [gentle music plays] 112 00:04:45,333 --> 00:04:47,333 [whirring] 113 00:04:47,416 --> 00:04:48,875 [electric crackling] 114 00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:51,958 [sighs] 115 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:55,458 Okay, sending a message home. 116 00:04:55,541 --> 00:04:56,625 How to play this? 117 00:04:56,708 --> 00:04:57,875 Um... 118 00:04:57,958 --> 00:04:59,250 "Wiggity wuzzup?" 119 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,458 No, too formal. 120 00:05:00,541 --> 00:05:02,041 "This is General Axatrax. 121 00:05:02,125 --> 00:05:03,958 The invasion is, uh, um... 122 00:05:04,708 --> 00:05:05,708 over." 123 00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:07,625 What am I doing? 124 00:05:07,666 --> 00:05:10,000 I can't call Cardi-B until I... 125 00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,500 alphabetize my spices. 126 00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:13,791 [whimsical music plays] 127 00:05:13,875 --> 00:05:15,291 Asafoetida? 128 00:05:15,375 --> 00:05:17,125 When am I going to make a curry? 129 00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:20,583 This reminds me of when Ike Turner chased me up a tree. 130 00:05:20,666 --> 00:05:24,541 ♪ I miss the '70s ♪ 131 00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,958 Honey, look, there's something to watch. 132 00:05:28,041 --> 00:05:29,458 Remember watching stuff? 133 00:05:29,541 --> 00:05:31,625 I remember you watching The Americans without me. 134 00:05:31,708 --> 00:05:32,541 [Lucy clears throat] 135 00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:35,458 Before we get started, I wanna welcome our viewers. 136 00:05:35,541 --> 00:05:36,375 [Alfred] Oh! 137 00:05:36,458 --> 00:05:38,666 - [man 1] Wow. - She's pandering to me! 138 00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:41,166 Now, where are we on my election idea? 139 00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:43,208 Well, let's just hold our horses, sir, 140 00:05:43,291 --> 00:05:44,666 because they're scared. 141 00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:46,458 They can sense a storm coming. 142 00:05:46,541 --> 00:05:48,708 Maybe we sleep in the barn with them tonight, 143 00:05:48,791 --> 00:05:50,541 leave a sugar cube on each eye, 144 00:05:50,625 --> 00:05:52,333 then get licked awake in the morning. 145 00:05:52,416 --> 00:05:55,083 Are you trying to filibuster this discussion? 146 00:05:55,625 --> 00:05:58,500 And I thought my ex-husband was good at avoiding conversations. 147 00:05:58,583 --> 00:06:01,333 - [all chuckling] - [man 2] Burn! 148 00:06:01,416 --> 00:06:04,500 I'm just pointing out that voting happens in November. 149 00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:08,000 Actually, Congress can call a special election for D.C. at any time. 150 00:06:08,083 --> 00:06:09,723 So, we don't have to wait until November. 151 00:06:09,791 --> 00:06:11,671 We can just let that month be about my birthday. 152 00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:14,541 Then, as president of the Senate, I'm calling the election 153 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:18,166 for the 60th of Febtober, two thousand twelve teen. 154 00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:20,875 Why, Mr. Vice President, if I didn't know better, 155 00:06:20,958 --> 00:06:23,625 I'd think you didn't want people to vote. 156 00:06:23,708 --> 00:06:25,250 [crowd booing] 157 00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:27,375 Don't be ridonkulous. 158 00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:29,125 I like it when... [gags] 159 00:06:29,208 --> 00:06:30,541 When people... [gags] 160 00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:31,625 V... V... 161 00:06:31,708 --> 00:06:36,500 V... V... V... V... V... 162 00:06:36,583 --> 00:06:37,458 Vote. 163 00:06:37,541 --> 00:06:38,541 [indistinct chatter] 164 00:06:38,583 --> 00:06:39,892 [Alfred] I don't think he really does like it. 165 00:06:39,916 --> 00:06:40,750 I made curry! 166 00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:42,083 Ooh! Whoa! 167 00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:45,541 [all laughing] 168 00:06:45,625 --> 00:06:47,958 I... I... I'm so sorry, I... I... 169 00:06:48,666 --> 00:06:49,826 [man 1] That's entertainment! 170 00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:52,041 Oh right, I made one of your Earth bloopers. 171 00:06:52,125 --> 00:06:53,708 [grunts] 172 00:06:53,791 --> 00:06:56,333 [all continue laughing hysterically] 173 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,625 Developing story. We developed some photos. 174 00:06:59,708 --> 00:07:02,083 Zhao News has the picture you're gonna wanna see. 175 00:07:02,166 --> 00:07:03,875 It'll make you plotz your kishkes. 176 00:07:03,958 --> 00:07:06,333 Nice try with the targeted ads, Zhao, 177 00:07:06,416 --> 00:07:08,500 but I don't trust the NewsCycle anymore. 178 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:12,791 My, oh my, is that a beautiful five-foot-tall baby, 179 00:07:12,875 --> 00:07:15,041 - or is Johnny Zhao getting younger? - [Zhao] Hmm. 180 00:07:15,625 --> 00:07:18,083 Look, I know you're probably a mite sore, 181 00:07:18,166 --> 00:07:19,708 but, Johnny, I need your help. 182 00:07:19,791 --> 00:07:22,708 Help? I wouldn't even give you my copy of the movie The Help, 183 00:07:22,791 --> 00:07:24,875 and I'd give that to anybody. It's terrible. 184 00:07:24,958 --> 00:07:27,250 President Mulligan is fixing to hold an election, 185 00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:29,583 and this city is bluer than a Man Group. 186 00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:33,125 These people vote. They're gonna elect a bunch of Alexandrias OC. 187 00:07:33,208 --> 00:07:34,458 Remember when she danced? 188 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:36,208 This is not my base. 189 00:07:36,291 --> 00:07:38,291 My base is real Americans. 190 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:39,916 - Offense. - None taken. 191 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,160 So what do you want me to do? 192 00:07:41,208 --> 00:07:43,083 Muddy the waters, spread false information, 193 00:07:43,166 --> 00:07:45,017 distract people with stories about the war on Christmas? 194 00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:48,541 We're gonna win it. I don't care how many elves have to die. 195 00:07:48,625 --> 00:07:49,541 Well, I can't 196 00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:51,333 because no one listens to me anymore 197 00:07:51,416 --> 00:07:52,416 because of you. 198 00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:54,041 Pfft. I can't use the press, 199 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,166 and I can't operate behind closed doors 200 00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:57,958 because the room doesn't have a wall. 201 00:07:58,041 --> 00:08:01,166 I've got a GD audience watching my every move. 202 00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:04,083 An audience? Now we're talking. 203 00:08:04,166 --> 00:08:05,791 What were we doing before? 204 00:08:06,833 --> 00:08:08,791 [elder in Cardibean] You have failed, Axatrax! 205 00:08:08,875 --> 00:08:12,833 We expected bloopers, and you gave us only mistakes! 206 00:08:12,916 --> 00:08:14,166 [yelps] 207 00:08:14,750 --> 00:08:15,583 [grunts] 208 00:08:15,666 --> 00:08:18,208 - [dramatic music playing] - [clock ticking rapidly] 209 00:08:18,291 --> 00:08:19,458 - [laser zaps] - [snarling] 210 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,791 [Axatrax yells] 211 00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:25,291 [panting] 212 00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:27,291 [whimsical music plays] 213 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,416 [in English] Maybe I should see what's going on upstairs. 214 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,500 And I've got to get my steps. 215 00:08:32,583 --> 00:08:34,541 Sitting is the new smoking. 216 00:08:34,625 --> 00:08:36,125 They're called aglets. 217 00:08:36,208 --> 00:08:37,208 Simon, right? 218 00:08:37,291 --> 00:08:39,541 Johnny Zhao from Zhao Factor Productions. 219 00:08:39,625 --> 00:08:41,291 Love you on the show. 220 00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:42,875 Listen, you're fired from the show. 221 00:08:42,958 --> 00:08:45,875 The after-party is at the hole that used to be The Capital Grille. 222 00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:47,166 It would be weird if you came. 223 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:48,930 What do you mean? Am I out of the cabinet? 224 00:08:48,958 --> 00:08:52,125 Don't worry, man. The election is still a very important storyline, 225 00:08:52,208 --> 00:08:56,458 and we can't wait to see what your replacement, hot Simon, does with it. 226 00:08:56,541 --> 00:08:57,833 Well, that is just insult... 227 00:08:57,916 --> 00:09:00,166 Oh, he's gorgeous. Yeah, I'll see myself out. 228 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,791 Excuse me. Cast only. 229 00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:05,291 Oh, well, yesterday, I... 230 00:09:05,375 --> 00:09:06,958 Wait, I know you. 231 00:09:07,041 --> 00:09:08,208 You're that alien. 232 00:09:08,291 --> 00:09:10,125 Didn't you kill, like, millions of people? 233 00:09:10,208 --> 00:09:12,666 Billions, including the cast of Billions. 234 00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:14,958 Paul Giamatti begged for his life. 235 00:09:15,041 --> 00:09:16,708 It was a tour de force. 236 00:09:16,791 --> 00:09:18,875 Look, I'm trying to zazz the show up. 237 00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:20,625 You know, add some zazz. 238 00:09:20,708 --> 00:09:24,083 And you'd be the perfect villain everyone loves to hate. 239 00:09:24,166 --> 00:09:26,416 Well, uh, I have nothing else to do. 240 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:27,958 Zazztastic. 241 00:09:28,041 --> 00:09:29,958 Have you ever had wine? 242 00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:31,041 [whimsical music playing] 243 00:09:31,125 --> 00:09:32,958 Oh no you presi-didn't! 244 00:09:33,041 --> 00:09:34,125 [all cheering] 245 00:09:37,541 --> 00:09:39,416 We love you, Mucy! 246 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:41,583 You see? People love us together. 247 00:09:41,666 --> 00:09:43,541 And that was definitely directed at us. 248 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,166 The other Moosie's not even here. 249 00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:49,000 [upbeat music playing] 250 00:09:49,083 --> 00:09:51,250 Moosie's the original party animal. 251 00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:53,958 I'm flattered I was "MILF" enough to stay, 252 00:09:54,041 --> 00:09:56,166 but we do need regular Simon. 253 00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:57,708 Oh, we're calling him fat Simon now, 254 00:09:57,791 --> 00:10:00,541 and apparently, he doesn't exist in the Zhao cinematic universe. 255 00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:01,500 [Simon] Hey! 256 00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:04,500 Well, he was going over the census to create a voter roll. 257 00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:06,333 Uh-oh! Here comes trouble. 258 00:10:06,416 --> 00:10:09,250 [all cheering] 259 00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:10,208 Mama's home. 260 00:10:10,291 --> 00:10:12,750 I'm here to shed some skin and get it in. 261 00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:14,875 Get what in what? Why are you even... 262 00:10:14,958 --> 00:10:17,125 Do not start with me today, Farrah. 263 00:10:17,208 --> 00:10:19,083 Looks like you've already started. 264 00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:21,041 It's not even noon, Axatrax. 265 00:10:21,125 --> 00:10:22,666 Beep you, Sharon. 266 00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:24,000 [all cheering] 267 00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:24,958 [dog barks] 268 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,291 You were right about this, Johnny. 269 00:10:27,375 --> 00:10:29,666 Right as rain. Splishy-sploshy. 270 00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:32,208 An election's the furthest thing from folks' minds now. 271 00:10:32,291 --> 00:10:33,875 Classic bread and circus. 272 00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:37,083 Well, just wait till after the commercial break. 273 00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:38,333 Yeah, I sold ads. 274 00:10:38,416 --> 00:10:42,250 And I did the thing where you make them way louder than the show for some reason. 275 00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:45,875 Some pills were found! Reclaim your life with some pills we found! 276 00:10:45,958 --> 00:10:47,375 Now back to the show! 277 00:10:47,458 --> 00:10:49,125 Conk-a-choo, conk-a-choo. 278 00:10:49,208 --> 00:10:50,833 [LaMarr chuckles] 279 00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:52,250 Stunt casting. 280 00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:55,375 Look, everyone, it's King Germ-y. [chuckles] 281 00:10:55,458 --> 00:10:57,166 What? I'm just yanking his chain. 282 00:10:57,250 --> 00:10:59,250 Go ahead, make fun of my name. I don't care. 283 00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:01,208 Very well, Fatty Dulligan. 284 00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:02,583 No, stop! I don't like it! 285 00:11:02,666 --> 00:11:05,125 [TOD-209] Break, break, break, break dancing. 286 00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:08,041 - Ooh, look at him go. - [all cheering] 287 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,708 TOD, what are you doing? 288 00:11:09,791 --> 00:11:12,500 [TOD-109] Mr. Zhao told TOD to break-dance. 289 00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:16,166 Says robot will appeal to children and perverts. 290 00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:17,375 Well, I love it. 291 00:11:17,458 --> 00:11:19,416 B-Because I'm a... Because I'm a pervert. 292 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:22,583 [TOD-209] General Scarpaccio is army man. 293 00:11:22,666 --> 00:11:25,541 Army mans were there. 294 00:11:25,625 --> 00:11:28,333 [dramatic music playing] 295 00:11:28,416 --> 00:11:30,083 Army made TOD. 296 00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:32,000 - [Jayson whimpers] - What did you do to me? 297 00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:33,791 I'm wetting my pants because I'm old! 298 00:11:33,875 --> 00:11:35,666 Hey, Mr. Silly. 299 00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:38,500 I think someone's just cranky because they don't have a mission. 300 00:11:38,583 --> 00:11:41,291 And there is a bag back at the lab 301 00:11:41,375 --> 00:11:43,625 full of old clothes I've been meaning to donate. 302 00:11:43,708 --> 00:11:45,541 [TOD-209] You mean bag of filthy bras? 303 00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:48,500 No, that's just my bras. We can't do laundry anymore. 304 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,875 [TOD-209] But why so filthy? 305 00:11:50,958 --> 00:11:53,208 The other bag! Do you want a mission or not? 306 00:11:53,708 --> 00:11:55,583 TOD doesn't know where he came from, 307 00:11:55,666 --> 00:11:58,625 and Farrah is, like, hiding it from him. 308 00:11:58,708 --> 00:12:02,000 Whew, things are gonna be awkward at Axatrax's handbag party. 309 00:12:02,083 --> 00:12:03,208 Hey, I'm right here. 310 00:12:03,291 --> 00:12:05,291 Well, why can't you be there for TOD? 311 00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,791 - [crowd boos] - What? I'm not here to make friends. 312 00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:10,416 Do I have qualms about the TOD program? Sure. 313 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,250 But I'm a cyborgologist, 314 00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:14,666 not a "brain where she got 'em" question-asker. 315 00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:16,958 Seems like TOD's starting to ask some questions. 316 00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:18,083 You just gonna stonewall? 317 00:12:18,166 --> 00:12:20,958 Like the general, not the West Village bar I've never heard of. 318 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,833 I'm trying to protect him. 319 00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:26,416 Self-awareness is not great for TODs. 320 00:12:31,416 --> 00:12:32,416 [gun fires] 321 00:12:34,041 --> 00:12:35,250 [electric crackling] 322 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:41,875 Oh, but when a man builds a cyborg super soldier, he's a stud. 323 00:12:41,958 --> 00:12:43,125 Who are you talking about? 324 00:12:43,208 --> 00:12:45,500 Leave it to American scientists to play God. 325 00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:47,916 No wonder your Doritos are an abomination. 326 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,000 So spicy. 327 00:12:49,083 --> 00:12:51,875 Where are all the good flavors, like tomato or mushroom prawn? 328 00:12:51,958 --> 00:12:55,625 I don't remember asking your opinion about Doritos or America, pal. 329 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,934 And I definitely don't remember inviting you to my house. 330 00:12:57,958 --> 00:13:00,458 Well, uh, actually, it's the people's house, 331 00:13:00,541 --> 00:13:02,208 and King Jeremy is a people. 332 00:13:02,291 --> 00:13:05,666 Is that why he came over while Matthew was in Maryland? 333 00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:06,583 [crowd] Ooh! 334 00:13:06,666 --> 00:13:07,791 Are you Lucy's CEO? 335 00:13:07,875 --> 00:13:10,750 'Cause you are high up in her business. 336 00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:14,041 Wait, when I'm not around, do you two, like, hang out together? 337 00:13:14,125 --> 00:13:15,791 [crowd gasps] 338 00:13:15,875 --> 00:13:18,375 King Jeremy is here because I invited him. 339 00:13:18,458 --> 00:13:20,458 I'm courting an international audience. 340 00:13:20,541 --> 00:13:22,291 And I a-love him, 341 00:13:22,375 --> 00:13:25,958 almost as much as my mama's unlimited breadsticks. 342 00:13:26,041 --> 00:13:28,625 And I wanted to give His Majesty 343 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,541 a chance to explain this. 344 00:13:30,625 --> 00:13:32,208 [crowd gasps, clamoring] 345 00:13:32,291 --> 00:13:33,875 Oh no she didn't. 346 00:13:34,375 --> 00:13:36,708 I'm gonna give you a knuckle sandwich! 347 00:13:36,791 --> 00:13:39,500 The human knuckles, not the best part of a lobster! 348 00:13:39,583 --> 00:13:40,500 Commercial break! 349 00:13:40,583 --> 00:13:42,125 [whimsical music playing] 350 00:13:42,208 --> 00:13:45,208 ♪ If you want some shoes That aren't from corpses ♪ 351 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:48,041 ♪ Come on down to Gary's Shoes! ♪ 352 00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:49,625 I Gary-tee it. 353 00:13:49,708 --> 00:13:51,333 Gary-tees are not guarantees. 354 00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:53,541 Okay, punch him now. 355 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,416 [Jeremy whimpers] 356 00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,208 [dramatic music playing] 357 00:13:58,375 --> 00:13:59,625 How could you do that? 358 00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:01,500 I thought we were doing so good lately. 359 00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:03,500 I mean, you said I was the best. 360 00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:06,416 I said you were better than I thought. 361 00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:09,041 Have I been punched? Do I need hospital? 362 00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:12,500 I'm sorry, but you and me do have an agreement. 363 00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:14,416 They don't need to know about the agreement. 364 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:17,125 And it's only the boy that gets to see other people. 365 00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:18,291 - [crowd gasps] - No! 366 00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:19,708 [woman] What did he just say? 367 00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:23,125 Look, I'm sorry it came out like this, but perhaps it's for the best. 368 00:14:23,208 --> 00:14:24,583 Now everything's out in the open. 369 00:14:24,666 --> 00:14:26,250 Oh, I get it. You did this. 370 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:27,493 You want me and Lucy to fight 371 00:14:27,541 --> 00:14:29,958 so you two can gallop off on your trusty steed, 372 00:14:30,041 --> 00:14:32,041 your hair all golden and shiny. 373 00:14:32,125 --> 00:14:34,125 This creep probably took that photo himself. 374 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:36,309 - How would that even be? - The camera's a hundred feet away. 375 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,500 - Well, then how does Spider-Man do it? - He doesn't. 376 00:14:38,583 --> 00:14:40,041 Peter Parker's the photographer, 377 00:14:40,125 --> 00:14:41,958 Spider-Man is a menace. 378 00:14:42,041 --> 00:14:43,801 And I had nothing to do with that photograph. 379 00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:46,583 You have all ruined my handbag party! 380 00:14:46,666 --> 00:14:48,958 Your handbags ruined the party. 381 00:14:49,041 --> 00:14:51,166 They're basic, and everybody thinks so. 382 00:14:51,250 --> 00:14:54,125 - [LaMarr grunting] - Stay tuned to see which dude Lucy chooses 383 00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:58,541 - on Johnny Zhao Presents: The Love Choice. - [music crescendos] 384 00:15:03,708 --> 00:15:06,500 Mmm, ladies' clothes. Nice. 385 00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:09,583 Are these from a dead wife or girlfriend? 386 00:15:09,666 --> 00:15:10,875 Wink, wink. 387 00:15:10,958 --> 00:15:13,333 [TOD-209] TOD had a wife. 388 00:15:13,416 --> 00:15:15,833 [Grimes] Ooh, corporate swag. 389 00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:19,083 It's like the stuff we used to give out at shareholder meetings. 390 00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:21,366 - I was CEO of Dasani... [grunts] - [electronic beeping] 391 00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:24,541 I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm into this. 392 00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:26,125 [TOD-209] Where did you get that? 393 00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:28,541 You just gave it to me. 394 00:15:28,625 --> 00:15:29,791 [TOD-209] Huh? 395 00:15:29,875 --> 00:15:31,291 [Grimes grunts, groans] 396 00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:32,666 [gentle music plays] 397 00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:34,333 Call me! 398 00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:38,333 I made the green room the green room. Get it? 399 00:15:38,416 --> 00:15:39,250 Bud Light Lime? 400 00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:41,750 There's a lot left. 401 00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:44,791 I tell you, Johnny, the last time I had this much fun at a circus, 402 00:15:44,875 --> 00:15:47,208 I was but a towheaded boy. [chuckles] 403 00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:49,166 This is back when you could call them freaks. 404 00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:51,708 You can't keep people distracted forever, you know. 405 00:15:51,791 --> 00:15:54,458 Oh yeah? We're developing a hot Simon spin-off. 406 00:15:54,541 --> 00:15:56,291 Hot Simon Hot Says. 407 00:15:56,375 --> 00:15:57,541 Damn it, I would watch that. 408 00:15:57,625 --> 00:15:58,791 What the hell, Zhao? 409 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:02,250 Bro, chill out. Have a Bud Light Lime. 410 00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:04,583 [gulps] Oh, I hate it! It's bad! 411 00:16:04,666 --> 00:16:07,708 Mr. President, this is what you asked for, transparency. 412 00:16:08,291 --> 00:16:12,041 I meant transparency like everyone seeing how awesome I am. 413 00:16:12,125 --> 00:16:14,541 Well, the show must go on. 414 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,791 Isn't that right, Miss Suwan? 415 00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:19,416 That is true. Matty, it doesn't matter what we... 416 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,458 I am not talking to you. 417 00:16:21,541 --> 00:16:23,333 I mean, I am now, but not now. 418 00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,583 I mean, not, like, now... Not now! 419 00:16:25,666 --> 00:16:27,416 Damn it, you're so smart! 420 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,140 You gotta give the people what they want. 421 00:16:29,166 --> 00:16:31,000 I learned that when I was ten years old. 422 00:16:31,083 --> 00:16:33,583 Mom, I don't wanna sing "Two Princes." 423 00:16:33,666 --> 00:16:35,500 I wanna sing "Single Ladies." 424 00:16:35,583 --> 00:16:38,458 Honey, this is a Spin Doctors theme pageant. 425 00:16:38,541 --> 00:16:40,416 Don't disappoint the judges. 426 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,583 Just go ahead now. 427 00:16:41,666 --> 00:16:43,583 [tender music playing] 428 00:16:43,666 --> 00:16:45,083 Just go ahead now. 429 00:16:45,708 --> 00:16:46,828 [Lucy] So that's what I did. 430 00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,750 I just went ahead then, 431 00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:50,916 and that's what we have to do now. Just go ahead. 432 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,708 Yeah, give the people what they want, man. 433 00:16:53,791 --> 00:16:54,791 It's what they want. 434 00:16:54,875 --> 00:16:58,416 Oh, just think, sir, yesterday, that crowd was rioting in the streets. 435 00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:01,125 They were as mad as a polecat in a paper bag. 436 00:17:01,208 --> 00:17:04,500 Now, they're as happy as a different polecat in a paper bag. 437 00:17:04,583 --> 00:17:07,291 Sometimes they have fun in there. It depends on the polecat. 438 00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:08,875 That's easy for you guys to say. 439 00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:12,291 You're not the ones that just got humiliated on national... 440 00:17:12,375 --> 00:17:14,416 well, lawn, or whatever. 441 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,458 You humans don't know how good you have it. 442 00:17:17,541 --> 00:17:19,458 Here on Earth, you can spill curry. 443 00:17:19,541 --> 00:17:22,625 You can get drunk and make a fool of yourself. 444 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,625 You can make baseball mistakes. 445 00:17:24,708 --> 00:17:29,041 No one packs your ani with explosives and catapults you into a sun. 446 00:17:29,125 --> 00:17:31,708 You celebrate your flaws and foibles. 447 00:17:31,791 --> 00:17:32,666 Foibles? 448 00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:35,291 No, I grew up poor. We didn't have that fancy stuff. 449 00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:36,541 [sighs] 450 00:17:36,625 --> 00:17:38,958 Believe it or not, I envy you. 451 00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:40,250 [somber music playing] 452 00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:42,625 Ugh! That is so bad. 453 00:17:44,333 --> 00:17:46,000 [gentle music playing] 454 00:17:46,083 --> 00:17:48,250 [mechanical whirring] 455 00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:49,666 [water splashes] 456 00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:50,666 [glass shatters] 457 00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:52,750 [TOD-209] Who made us? 458 00:17:52,833 --> 00:17:54,041 [dramatic music playing] 459 00:17:54,125 --> 00:17:55,708 This isn't even in the right box. 460 00:17:55,791 --> 00:17:57,208 [Simon] Ugh, boxes. 461 00:17:57,333 --> 00:17:59,583 Sure, but Matty's helping me help people. 462 00:18:00,083 --> 00:18:01,208 Meadowlark Lemon! 463 00:18:01,291 --> 00:18:05,875 So was it a real ghoul, or does science exist? [laughs] 464 00:18:05,958 --> 00:18:09,000 [TOD-209] Dr. Braun made TOD. 465 00:18:09,666 --> 00:18:13,125 The truth was inside you all along. 466 00:18:14,208 --> 00:18:16,500 Okay, bye, I guess. 467 00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:17,625 [upbeat music playing] 468 00:18:17,708 --> 00:18:19,388 - ♪ The Love Choice ♪ - [audience cheering] 469 00:18:20,125 --> 00:18:21,833 ♪ Everybody put your hands up ♪ 470 00:18:21,916 --> 00:18:23,708 ♪ The Love Choice ♪ 471 00:18:24,208 --> 00:18:26,250 ♪ Everybody come and stand up ♪ 472 00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:28,416 ♪ The Love Choice ♪ 473 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,000 [crowd applauding] 474 00:18:30,083 --> 00:18:32,333 This is the final rose, 475 00:18:32,416 --> 00:18:33,625 like on Earth. 476 00:18:33,708 --> 00:18:35,625 I got it from a grave of someone named Eufie. 477 00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:37,250 My Eufie? 478 00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,166 Well, they don't call it "show friends." 479 00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:41,500 I knew that when I got into this crazy business. 480 00:18:41,583 --> 00:18:44,958 Before we get started, give it up for Questovic! 481 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:45,958 [all applauding] 482 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:48,375 I thought we agreed on Yanklove. 483 00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:51,041 Tonight, the First Lady will choose 484 00:18:51,125 --> 00:18:54,083 between a president and a king. 485 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:55,416 Dramatic entrance! 486 00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,166 - [all applauding] - [all] Whoo! 487 00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:58,250 [woman] Yes! 488 00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:01,375 Wow, what a love choice. 489 00:19:01,458 --> 00:19:03,041 But how did we get here? 490 00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:05,101 - Previously, on whatever this is... - [crowd gasps] 491 00:19:05,125 --> 00:19:07,791 Good morning, Lucy. Oh my goodness. 492 00:19:07,875 --> 00:19:09,833 - My lady, you are so pretty. - [Matty groans] 493 00:19:10,458 --> 00:19:12,375 [Matty] Seriously? Team Jeremy? 494 00:19:12,458 --> 00:19:15,375 [scoffs] Oh, maybe it's Jeremy Roenick from the Flyers. 495 00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,291 He grew up in Mass, so that's okay. 496 00:19:17,375 --> 00:19:20,791 They're clearly referencing me with those T-shaped garments. 497 00:19:20,875 --> 00:19:24,000 I refuse to call them shirts. They don't have cuffs or foibles. 498 00:19:24,083 --> 00:19:27,291 But, Lucy, if you were worried about cheating on America, 499 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:31,333 I think America is just fine with hiding in the closet and watching. 500 00:19:31,416 --> 00:19:35,125 Right. That was kinda the only thing keeping us apart. 501 00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,875 What? When? Who? Him? Why? 502 00:19:37,958 --> 00:19:39,958 You know what? Forget this! 503 00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:41,958 - [dramatic music playing] - Oh, Jeremy! 504 00:19:42,041 --> 00:19:42,875 [dragon] Roar. 505 00:19:42,958 --> 00:19:45,250 Y'all love Jeremy so much, why don't you marry him? 506 00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:46,958 Oh, I would wreck him. 507 00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:50,250 You think Lucy should choose him just 'cause he talks gooder than I? 508 00:19:50,333 --> 00:19:52,666 I know that's wrong, okay? I'm all worked up. 509 00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:55,833 And the only reason he's taller than me is 'cause he's in meters. 510 00:19:55,916 --> 00:19:57,625 But that's not why I like him. 511 00:19:57,708 --> 00:19:59,166 Fine, then go be with him. 512 00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:01,541 But President Matty is not a loser. 513 00:20:01,625 --> 00:20:02,791 He's a finder! 514 00:20:02,875 --> 00:20:04,458 Damn it, wrong opposite! 515 00:20:04,541 --> 00:20:08,458 This whole thing is so stupid. So guess what? I'm not a choice anymore. 516 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,541 I quit. 517 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,041 Enjoy your show. 518 00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:12,708 Dramatic exit! 519 00:20:12,791 --> 00:20:14,041 [crowd groans] 520 00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:16,375 Wait, so there's no love choice? 521 00:20:16,458 --> 00:20:19,458 This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. 522 00:20:19,541 --> 00:20:21,583 No, no, the show's not over. 523 00:20:21,666 --> 00:20:25,166 I mean, a circus doesn't stop just 'cause they used too much gunpowder 524 00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:27,375 and shot the human cannonball through a church. 525 00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:32,208 I'm sure Mr. Zhao has more twists and turns up his sleeve 526 00:20:32,291 --> 00:20:34,083 to keep you all in your seats. 527 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:39,750 Yeah, I... I do, 'cause... King Jeremy's not that great. 528 00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:41,625 - [crowd gasps] - Yeah, that's right. 529 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:44,601 'Cause he's the one who told the news about the president's fake marriage. 530 00:20:44,625 --> 00:20:47,541 [crowd jeering, yelling] 531 00:20:47,625 --> 00:20:49,625 I told you that as a secret! 532 00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:52,708 Damn you, Zhao! And that's from an Anglican, so it's real. 533 00:20:52,791 --> 00:20:53,625 You're going to hell. 534 00:20:53,708 --> 00:20:56,041 [Matty] Wait, what is going on? I can't tell who's talking. 535 00:20:56,125 --> 00:20:59,208 Are you quite serious? Everyone has very distinctive accents. 536 00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:01,416 [Matty] Oh, okay. Thanks, Lucy. 537 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:05,291 - [whimsical music playing] - [Axatrax groans] 538 00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:09,750 - This is General... [screeches] ...Axatrax. - [electric whooshing] 539 00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:13,708 I'm supposed to get in touch, so I'm getting in touch 540 00:21:13,791 --> 00:21:16,041 'cause Cardibeans do as we're told. 541 00:21:16,125 --> 00:21:18,666 The invasion failed. It's my fault. 542 00:21:18,750 --> 00:21:21,166 So come torture me for, like, ever. 543 00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:22,083 The uzh. 544 00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:24,958 [cries] I miss you so much. 545 00:21:25,041 --> 00:21:27,416 I hope whoever's commanding you now is fat. 546 00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:29,833 Perfect message. 547 00:21:29,916 --> 00:21:31,458 Now to send it. 548 00:21:31,541 --> 00:21:33,833 [radio static] 549 00:21:33,916 --> 00:21:35,541 [voice on radio] We have returned. 550 00:21:36,041 --> 00:21:37,375 We have returned. 551 00:21:38,083 --> 00:21:39,375 We have returned. 552 00:21:40,458 --> 00:21:42,333 [in English] "Dak-ree." That's Cardibean. 553 00:21:42,958 --> 00:21:44,291 They're already here. 554 00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:45,833 [dramatic music plays] 555 00:21:45,916 --> 00:21:47,416 Lucy, I can explain. 556 00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:49,208 Oh my gosh, Matty was right. 557 00:21:49,291 --> 00:21:50,125 [Matty] I knew it! 558 00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:53,166 Brady lost to Eli on purpose just to mess with Peyton. 559 00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:54,750 No, about Jeremy. 560 00:21:54,833 --> 00:21:58,458 That creep told Mr. Zhao about us to, like, ruin our relationship. 561 00:21:58,541 --> 00:22:01,250 Because your "relationship" was a loveless charade. 562 00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:03,708 I was only trying to save you from this ogre. 563 00:22:03,791 --> 00:22:05,916 What, like Shrek? Nice insult. 564 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,458 Guy had like four movies named after him. 565 00:22:08,541 --> 00:22:10,125 [in Scottish accent] "Get in my tummy!" 566 00:22:10,208 --> 00:22:11,767 Wrong film. That's the second Austin Powers. 567 00:22:11,791 --> 00:22:13,500 Wait, he's Scottish in every movie? 568 00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:15,343 He's himself in So I Married an Axe Murderer. 569 00:22:15,416 --> 00:22:17,476 - No, the dad is Scottish. - You're forgetting the dad. 570 00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:19,083 Please don't be cross with me. 571 00:22:19,166 --> 00:22:22,000 I just wanted to be your fairy-tale prince. 572 00:22:22,083 --> 00:22:23,916 But not the one Snow White is based on. 573 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,708 That guy went around kissing dead bodies he found in the woods. 574 00:22:26,791 --> 00:22:28,291 Well, I don't need to be saved. 575 00:22:28,375 --> 00:22:29,208 Hang on. 576 00:22:29,291 --> 00:22:33,250 If he's a snitch, then he's not better than me after all! 577 00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:37,125 It looks like we got ourselves a good old-fashioned love choice. 578 00:22:37,208 --> 00:22:38,833 [crowd cheering] 579 00:22:38,916 --> 00:22:40,833 - [woman 1] Yeah! - [woman 2] Now we're talkin'! 580 00:22:40,916 --> 00:22:42,791 Luceline Bellagio Suwan, 581 00:22:42,875 --> 00:22:46,500 turns out both of these men are equally pretty lame. 582 00:22:46,583 --> 00:22:50,916 So which one do you want to spend the rest of your life with? 583 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,291 [imitating drums beating] 584 00:22:53,375 --> 00:22:55,083 Just go ahead now. 585 00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:58,875 Sorry, did I say that weird? English is my third language. 586 00:22:58,958 --> 00:23:01,083 [in Esperanto] I also learned Esperanto for a girl. 587 00:23:01,166 --> 00:23:04,083 [Alfred continues imitating drums] 588 00:23:04,958 --> 00:23:06,375 [in English] Oh my gosh. 589 00:23:06,958 --> 00:23:08,666 I don't wanna be with either of them. 590 00:23:08,750 --> 00:23:09,583 [crowd gasps] 591 00:23:09,666 --> 00:23:13,250 You can't do that. You're... You're disappointing your public. 592 00:23:13,333 --> 00:23:15,666 Yeah, I'm like obsessed with you. 593 00:23:15,750 --> 00:23:16,750 Well, I'm sorry, 594 00:23:16,833 --> 00:23:19,666 but my whole life all I've ever done is try to please everybody. 595 00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:22,875 But I can't make Team Jeremy and Team Matty happy. 596 00:23:22,958 --> 00:23:25,583 It actually says "Team Marty." I'm Marty. 597 00:23:25,666 --> 00:23:26,958 Axatrax was right. 598 00:23:27,041 --> 00:23:29,333 He has touched our lives in so many ways. 599 00:23:29,416 --> 00:23:31,458 Sometimes I thought he was teaching us. 600 00:23:31,541 --> 00:23:33,541 [Lucy] Being a human means you're not perfect, 601 00:23:33,625 --> 00:23:34,958 and that's okay. 602 00:23:35,041 --> 00:23:37,083 So, sorry, everyone, 603 00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:39,708 but I'm gonna be selfish for once and do what I want. 604 00:23:39,791 --> 00:23:42,458 And here on Earth, what's the worst that could happen? 605 00:23:42,541 --> 00:23:44,000 [all applauding] 606 00:23:44,083 --> 00:23:46,916 Sure, the British monarchy never kills women they're mad at. 607 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,291 But what will distract them from their so-called lives? 608 00:23:49,375 --> 00:23:51,875 Voting? No, boring. Who said that? 609 00:23:51,958 --> 00:23:53,458 Oh, how about this? 610 00:23:53,541 --> 00:23:57,041 "Hello, I am Jean-Pierre, a lumberjack." 611 00:23:57,125 --> 00:23:59,708 "Oh, heavens, my dinner party." 612 00:24:00,958 --> 00:24:03,083 Or that. What about that? 613 00:24:03,166 --> 00:24:04,625 Hey, buddy, what are you... 614 00:24:04,708 --> 00:24:07,083 [TOD-209] I wish you'd never made me. 615 00:24:07,166 --> 00:24:08,333 Okay, I know you're confused. 616 00:24:08,416 --> 00:24:10,083 [TOD-209] TOD not confused. 617 00:24:10,166 --> 00:24:11,916 TOD hate you, Mom. 618 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,291 TOD going to go shoplift, 619 00:24:14,375 --> 00:24:17,000 maybe become juggalo. Whoop, whoop! 620 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:19,500 [Dr. Braun sighs] 621 00:24:21,083 --> 00:24:24,208 Well, okay, I thought that'd be a deeper well. 622 00:24:24,291 --> 00:24:25,708 What else? 623 00:24:25,791 --> 00:24:27,750 Are you boys just gonna take that rejection? 624 00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:30,041 I mean, you're not good enough for Lucy? 625 00:24:30,125 --> 00:24:32,375 She's selfish, and I'll bet she poops and pees. 626 00:24:32,458 --> 00:24:34,250 Yeah, you're not better than us. 627 00:24:34,333 --> 00:24:37,833 [scoffs] Good luck finding someone better than a president and a king. 628 00:24:37,916 --> 00:24:39,083 Nice scoff, bro. 629 00:24:39,166 --> 00:24:40,000 And you as well. 630 00:24:40,083 --> 00:24:42,958 Dude, you've met everyone on Earth. 631 00:24:43,041 --> 00:24:44,750 - We're the best you're gonna do. - Mm-hmm. 632 00:24:44,833 --> 00:24:46,458 Yeah, I suck. 633 00:24:47,583 --> 00:24:48,500 Ugh. 634 00:24:48,583 --> 00:24:50,125 [indistinct chanting] 635 00:24:50,208 --> 00:24:53,250 [crowd gasps, screams] 636 00:24:53,333 --> 00:24:54,458 [Joel] Not again! 637 00:24:55,625 --> 00:24:57,416 [indistinct chanting continues] 638 00:24:57,500 --> 00:24:59,291 God, they're back! Take Farrah! She's Farrah! 639 00:24:59,375 --> 00:25:01,500 Oh, I am so screwed. 640 00:25:03,041 --> 00:25:06,541 - ♪ Daiquiris on Christmas Eve ♪ - It's a boat. 641 00:25:06,625 --> 00:25:09,791 Wait, what does dak-ree mean in human? 642 00:25:09,875 --> 00:25:12,958 ♪ Opening presents in the Florida sun ♪ 643 00:25:13,041 --> 00:25:16,416 ♪ A stocking full of limes And a bottle of rum... ♪ 644 00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:19,166 - [man screams] - [Marty] Classic Marty! 645 00:25:19,250 --> 00:25:20,500 [all screaming] 646 00:25:20,583 --> 00:25:22,416 ♪ ...till they turn on the lights ♪ 647 00:25:22,500 --> 00:25:26,333 ♪ Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night... ♪ 648 00:25:26,416 --> 00:25:28,642 When a bunch of white people show up on a ship somewhere, 649 00:25:28,666 --> 00:25:31,309 that's usually a good thing for the people who already live there, right? 650 00:25:31,333 --> 00:25:33,208 Cartwright Foghorn LaMarr? 651 00:25:33,291 --> 00:25:35,583 Trishelle, that's our senator! 652 00:25:36,625 --> 00:25:38,458 [LaMarr] Well whaddya know? 653 00:25:38,541 --> 00:25:40,500 Real Americans. 654 00:25:40,583 --> 00:25:43,250 Maybe we should hold that election after all. 655 00:25:43,333 --> 00:25:44,958 - Fu... - Fu... 656 00:25:45,041 --> 00:25:46,291 Wow, what a twist. 657 00:25:46,375 --> 00:25:49,083 This is part of the show. I planned this. 658 00:25:49,166 --> 00:25:50,000 Cliffhanger. 659 00:25:50,083 --> 00:25:52,166 ♪ Merry Christmas to all ♪ 660 00:25:52,250 --> 00:25:54,541 ♪ And to all a good night ♪ 661 00:25:55,666 --> 00:25:57,583 [dramatic music playing] 662 00:26:03,041 --> 00:26:05,041 [whimsical music playing] 663 00:26:15,958 --> 00:26:18,041 [music ends] 664 00:26:19,125 --> 00:26:21,041 [dramatic music playing] 665 00:26:36,666 --> 00:26:40,041 ♪ Lavender smile cats, go get a job ♪ 666 00:26:40,125 --> 00:26:44,041 ♪ Homeownership is groovy Take out a loan ♪ 667 00:26:44,125 --> 00:26:46,041 ♪ We're the Groovy Tangerine Situation ♪ 668 00:26:46,625 --> 00:26:48,041 ♪ Abandon the cities ♪ 669 00:26:48,125 --> 00:26:50,041 ♪ Sex is for procreation ♪ 670 00:26:50,125 --> 00:26:51,708 ♪ Abandon the cities ♪ 671 00:26:51,791 --> 00:26:53,625 ♪ The Love Choice ♪ 672 00:26:54,125 --> 00:26:56,041 ♪ Everybody put your hands up ♪ 673 00:26:56,125 --> 00:26:58,041 ♪ The Love Choice ♪ 674 00:26:58,625 --> 00:27:00,041 ♪ Everybody come and stand up ♪ 675 00:27:00,125 --> 00:27:02,041 ♪ The Love Choice ♪ 676 00:27:02,125 --> 00:27:04,041 [song ends]