1 00:00:06,030 --> 00:00:08,511 You really gonna leave all this for business school? 2 00:00:08,553 --> 00:00:09,792 I was thinkin' about it. 3 00:00:09,834 --> 00:00:11,114 Well, don't. 4 00:00:11,156 --> 00:00:13,035 The best is yet to come. 5 00:00:13,077 --> 00:00:14,557 Hey, honey, I'm home. 6 00:00:14,599 --> 00:00:16,519 You know, I was thinking about you and Bambi, 7 00:00:16,561 --> 00:00:17,880 seeing you two together like that... 8 00:00:17,922 --> 00:00:19,162 Like what? 9 00:00:19,204 --> 00:00:21,043 But she came to, um-- 10 00:00:21,085 --> 00:00:23,326 over to, uh, borrow this bra. 11 00:00:23,368 --> 00:00:24,567 - Oh, yes. - Mm-hmm. 12 00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:26,569 I lost mine in a well. 13 00:00:26,611 --> 00:00:28,050 Constance Papadopoulos. 14 00:00:28,092 --> 00:00:29,212 - I love it. - I pitched her 15 00:00:29,254 --> 00:00:30,533 on investing in Bottom Dollar. 16 00:00:30,575 --> 00:00:32,615 No, look, she's-she's retired from shipping. 17 00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:34,377 She... no. She has zero publishing experience. 18 00:00:34,419 --> 00:00:36,018 I just hear "deep pockets 19 00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:38,301 with no big ideas of what to do with a magazine." 20 00:00:38,343 --> 00:00:39,742 Why didn't I think of that? 21 00:00:39,784 --> 00:00:41,344 You don't have to. That's why you got me. 22 00:00:41,386 --> 00:00:43,346 Maybe I have one good chapter left. 23 00:00:43,388 --> 00:00:45,868 I cannot believe he was right. 24 00:00:45,910 --> 00:00:48,112 Yes, he was. But do we need him? 25 00:01:13,338 --> 00:01:15,338 Now this is what I call a comeback, huh? 26 00:01:15,380 --> 00:01:17,700 Yeah, baby. 27 00:01:23,988 --> 00:01:27,029 When I bought this company three weeks ago, 28 00:01:27,071 --> 00:01:29,912 this is exactly the kind of cultural happening 29 00:01:29,954 --> 00:01:31,594 that I hoped to become a part of. 30 00:01:31,636 --> 00:01:34,997 And I have this man and his global vision 31 00:01:35,039 --> 00:01:37,400 to thank for pulling me out of a premature retirement 32 00:01:37,442 --> 00:01:40,563 and hosting this historic event. 33 00:01:40,605 --> 00:01:43,766 You know, a lot of people counted us out. 34 00:01:43,808 --> 00:01:48,171 But we are back, and we are better than ever 35 00:01:48,213 --> 00:01:49,972 with the hottest new movie 36 00:01:50,014 --> 00:01:52,655 to launch the hottest new company, BDP. 37 00:01:52,697 --> 00:01:54,577 Remember that name. 38 00:01:54,619 --> 00:01:56,939 We're becoming a major player in media. 39 00:01:56,981 --> 00:01:58,821 And, sure, Minx is our flagship, 40 00:01:58,863 --> 00:02:02,345 but we're gonna be so much more than just one magazine. 41 00:02:02,387 --> 00:02:04,427 I'm CFO, chief fun officer. 42 00:02:04,469 --> 00:02:06,749 And I'm art director, which is an actual title. 43 00:02:06,791 --> 00:02:08,791 We're building a catalog of new magazines. 44 00:02:08,833 --> 00:02:11,033 Hosting fancy parties like this one. 45 00:02:11,075 --> 00:02:12,435 There might even be some merchandise 46 00:02:12,477 --> 00:02:14,036 coming your way. 47 00:02:14,078 --> 00:02:15,798 You said you wanted splashy. 48 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,600 -Is this splashy enough? -Well, it's a beginning. 49 00:02:17,642 --> 00:02:19,562 Where's our star editor? Not here yet? 50 00:02:19,604 --> 00:02:20,843 Oh, Joyce? Uh, she's coming. 51 00:02:20,885 --> 00:02:22,044 She loves red carpets. 52 00:02:22,086 --> 00:02:23,406 She absolutely loves them. 53 00:02:27,972 --> 00:02:29,732 Faith not filth. Faith not filth. 54 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:32,535 Faith not filth. Faith not filth! 55 00:02:32,577 --> 00:02:34,899 Whoo! Yeah. 56 00:02:44,148 --> 00:02:45,788 -Hello! -Where were you? 57 00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,950 Oh, sorry. The 101 was crazy. 58 00:02:47,992 --> 00:02:49,512 No, it wasn't. That's how we got here. 59 00:02:49,554 --> 00:02:51,354 Okay, fine. I was writing my editor's letter. 60 00:02:51,396 --> 00:02:53,075 A fine thank-you for giving her the bigger office. 61 00:02:53,117 --> 00:02:54,277 They're the same size. 62 00:02:54,319 --> 00:02:55,678 The glass creates an optical illusion. 63 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:56,959 - They are not. - Look, it's 64 00:02:57,001 --> 00:02:58,200 the first issue with the new owner. 65 00:02:58,242 --> 00:03:00,042 I wanted to make the right statement, okay? 66 00:03:00,084 --> 00:03:04,367 And, um, speaking of, are we sure that Deep Throat 67 00:03:04,409 --> 00:03:06,529 is really putting our best foot forward? 68 00:03:06,571 --> 00:03:08,130 Oh, I think so. It's a really feminist tale. 69 00:03:08,172 --> 00:03:09,732 It's about a woman searching for an orgasm. 70 00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:11,734 Yeah, which she finds via a clitoris 71 00:03:11,776 --> 00:03:14,337 conveniently located inside of her mouth? 72 00:03:14,379 --> 00:03:15,738 It's always in the last place you look. 73 00:03:17,221 --> 00:03:18,621 This is our big launch, Joycey, 74 00:03:18,663 --> 00:03:20,062 just smile and make us look good. 75 00:03:20,104 --> 00:03:21,424 -Have a little fun. -All right. 76 00:03:21,466 --> 00:03:22,825 This is a big win for us. 77 00:03:22,867 --> 00:03:24,146 - Yeah. - Oh, my gosh, 78 00:03:24,188 --> 00:03:25,548 there are so many fabulous people here. 79 00:03:25,590 --> 00:03:26,789 Any new names on the, uh, guest list? 80 00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:30,232 Red Buttons, the Alans-- Alda and Arkin-- 81 00:03:30,274 --> 00:03:31,594 and, you're never gonna believe this, 82 00:03:31,636 --> 00:03:33,276 Warren frickin' Beatty. 83 00:03:33,318 --> 00:03:34,997 Connie's gonna love this. 84 00:03:35,039 --> 00:03:36,719 Porn has gone mainstream. We should have 85 00:03:36,761 --> 00:03:37,960 -an after-party, right? -Yes. 86 00:03:38,002 --> 00:03:39,041 - No. No. - Yes, let's do 87 00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:40,323 -an after-party. -God no. 88 00:03:40,365 --> 00:03:42,124 The second this is over, I'm at home in the bath. 89 00:03:42,166 --> 00:03:43,526 Joan Didion has a new piece in the Paris Review. 90 00:03:43,568 --> 00:03:45,087 I've been saving it. 91 00:03:45,129 --> 00:03:47,530 -It's 7,000 words, no pictures. -It's a quick read. 92 00:03:49,093 --> 00:03:50,252 Rich, go take some photos. 93 00:03:50,294 --> 00:03:51,574 Bambs, mingle. 94 00:03:51,616 --> 00:03:53,215 When you see Warren Beatty, let me know. 95 00:03:53,257 --> 00:03:55,498 -I wanna meet him. -Definitely. 96 00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:56,619 What about me? 97 00:03:56,661 --> 00:03:58,220 You're management, baby. 98 00:03:58,262 --> 00:03:59,782 You're not lifting a finger. You just enjoy your night. 99 00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:03,466 Well, we are certainly a long way from Seneca Falls. 100 00:04:03,508 --> 00:04:04,747 Yeah. 101 00:04:04,789 --> 00:04:05,948 Come have a drink with me. 102 00:04:05,990 --> 00:04:07,430 -With pleasure. -You guys have fun. 103 00:04:07,472 --> 00:04:09,111 We will. Nice cane, by the way. 104 00:04:09,153 --> 00:04:10,713 It's a walking stick. Churchill had one. 105 00:04:10,755 --> 00:04:12,074 So did Willy Wonka. 106 00:04:12,116 --> 00:04:13,796 Oh, let him have his moment. 107 00:04:13,838 --> 00:04:15,758 Poor man already feels like an appendage. 108 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,119 - Mr. Renetti... - What? 109 00:04:17,161 --> 00:04:18,521 ...I'm Timmy, the projectionist. 110 00:04:18,563 --> 00:04:19,802 Okay. 111 00:04:19,844 --> 00:04:21,644 Sorry, sir, we have a problem. 112 00:04:21,686 --> 00:04:23,045 Deep Throat is missing. 113 00:04:34,619 --> 00:04:37,059 Okay. 114 00:04:37,101 --> 00:04:38,621 Why are you freakin' me out, Timmy? 115 00:04:38,663 --> 00:04:41,424 -They're right here. -Yes, the canisters. 116 00:04:41,466 --> 00:04:43,468 Okay? 117 00:04:45,109 --> 00:04:46,629 What am I lookin' at here? 118 00:04:46,671 --> 00:04:48,310 That's Bedknobs and Broomsticks, 119 00:04:48,352 --> 00:04:50,633 a five-time Academy Award nominated musical fantasy 120 00:04:50,675 --> 00:04:52,355 set during World War II. 121 00:04:52,397 --> 00:04:54,036 Three adorable moppets are placed in the care 122 00:04:54,078 --> 00:04:56,038 of an apprentice witch played by Angela Lansbury. 123 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,040 Apprentice? The woman's nearly 70 years old. 124 00:04:58,082 --> 00:04:59,362 Miss Lansbury's 125 00:04:59,404 --> 00:05:01,083 in her early 40s. 126 00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:02,485 She just has one of those faces. 127 00:05:02,527 --> 00:05:04,407 Well, unless somebody comes on that face 128 00:05:04,449 --> 00:05:05,688 in the second act, 129 00:05:05,730 --> 00:05:07,610 this audience is gonna eat me alive. 130 00:05:07,652 --> 00:05:08,851 What can I say, Doug? 131 00:05:08,893 --> 00:05:10,493 My old lady made me hire her son. 132 00:05:10,535 --> 00:05:13,095 He's a fuckin' moron. 133 00:05:13,137 --> 00:05:15,177 Yeah, Dwight, I'm talkin' about you. 134 00:05:15,219 --> 00:05:17,139 Aw, you really fucked me on this one, you know that? 135 00:05:17,181 --> 00:05:18,461 You think you got it bad? 136 00:05:18,503 --> 00:05:19,902 I'd hate to be at that birthday party 137 00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:20,903 in Palos Verdes. 138 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,144 I'm gonna slide 139 00:05:22,186 --> 00:05:24,106 up and down the banister. 140 00:05:24,148 --> 00:05:26,148 I thought the bed was gonna fly. 141 00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:28,030 I guess you could drive over there. 142 00:05:28,072 --> 00:05:29,432 It's a two-hour drive. 143 00:05:29,474 --> 00:05:30,953 Jesus fucking Christ. 144 00:05:30,995 --> 00:05:32,595 I have a theatre full of people. 145 00:05:32,637 --> 00:05:33,916 My boss is here. 146 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:36,198 You are in luck. 147 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,481 There's another copy of the film nearby. 148 00:05:38,523 --> 00:05:40,002 Bob Evans been sittin' on it. 149 00:05:40,044 --> 00:05:41,363 Who the hell is Bob Evans? 150 00:05:41,405 --> 00:05:42,485 He's some Hollywood hotshot, 151 00:05:42,527 --> 00:05:43,766 and I think he did The Godfather. 152 00:05:43,808 --> 00:05:44,847 Here, give me that. Give me that. Come here. 153 00:05:44,889 --> 00:05:46,288 - Director? - Uh, no. 154 00:05:46,330 --> 00:05:47,730 - Writer? - I-I don't know. 155 00:05:47,772 --> 00:05:49,612 All I know is, he's been spankin' it to this movie 156 00:05:49,654 --> 00:05:51,093 - for two weeks straight. - Ali MacGraw 157 00:05:51,135 --> 00:05:53,015 left him for Steve McQueen. Cut the guy some slack. 158 00:05:53,057 --> 00:05:54,417 Doug, what the hell are we doin'? 159 00:05:54,459 --> 00:05:56,619 It's 30 minutes there. It's 30 minutes back. 160 00:05:56,661 --> 00:05:58,180 Please... I'll-I'll vamp for the crowd. 161 00:05:58,222 --> 00:06:00,102 Just please do this for me. 162 00:06:00,144 --> 00:06:01,103 Thomas Guide? 163 00:06:01,145 --> 00:06:02,545 It's in the back seat. 164 00:06:02,587 --> 00:06:04,667 And, please, easy on the brakes. 165 00:06:04,709 --> 00:06:06,989 It's a very expensive car. 166 00:06:07,031 --> 00:06:08,310 Thank you, guys. I love you, I love you, 167 00:06:08,352 --> 00:06:09,872 I love you. 168 00:06:17,562 --> 00:06:18,881 -Everything all right? -Oh, with me? 169 00:06:18,923 --> 00:06:20,763 Fantastic. Thank you for asking. 170 00:06:25,810 --> 00:06:27,450 Who's that? Who's that? 171 00:06:27,492 --> 00:06:29,411 -Hmm? -Who was that? 172 00:06:29,453 --> 00:06:31,173 - I don't know. Is he famous? - Hi! 173 00:06:31,215 --> 00:06:32,134 - Hey. - I didn't think you guys 174 00:06:32,176 --> 00:06:33,375 were gonna show. 175 00:06:33,417 --> 00:06:34,737 Yeah, me neither, 176 00:06:34,779 --> 00:06:36,338 especially after I buried the first invitation 177 00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:38,420 at the bottom of the trash can. 178 00:06:38,462 --> 00:06:39,622 But then the second one showed up 179 00:06:39,664 --> 00:06:40,783 and this one got his hands on it, 180 00:06:40,825 --> 00:06:42,144 so here we are. 181 00:06:42,186 --> 00:06:43,946 This scene is wild. 182 00:06:43,988 --> 00:06:45,347 You know what? I am. 183 00:06:45,389 --> 00:06:46,549 I'm gonna unbutton the second button. 184 00:06:46,591 --> 00:06:47,710 - Yes, fun. - No, no, no. 185 00:06:47,752 --> 00:06:49,231 You have that eczema patch. 186 00:06:49,273 --> 00:06:50,593 Oh, just put the chain over it. It'll be foxy. 187 00:06:50,635 --> 00:06:52,434 No, no, no. I got it. I got it. 188 00:06:52,476 --> 00:06:53,556 I got it. It's okay. 189 00:06:53,598 --> 00:06:54,717 That's perfect. Thank you. 190 00:06:54,759 --> 00:06:56,238 You guys, drinkies. 191 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:57,640 I'm Chief Fun Offering my services. 192 00:06:57,682 --> 00:06:59,722 Um, uh, two Jack and Cokes, 193 00:06:59,764 --> 00:07:01,043 unless you have anything stronger. 194 00:07:01,085 --> 00:07:02,525 Um, I'll see what they have. 195 00:07:02,567 --> 00:07:04,086 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, my God. 196 00:07:04,128 --> 00:07:05,367 Thank God you're here. 197 00:07:05,409 --> 00:07:06,769 You can keep me company at this bacchanal. 198 00:07:06,811 --> 00:07:09,572 Is that... uh, is that... 199 00:07:09,614 --> 00:07:11,253 is that--no, don't-- is it Telly Savalas? 200 00:07:11,295 --> 00:07:12,454 That could be any bald head. 201 00:07:12,496 --> 00:07:13,696 No, no. Look at the gleam. 202 00:07:13,738 --> 00:07:15,097 That's him. That's Telly Savalas. 203 00:07:15,139 --> 00:07:16,659 - I know it. - God, the Lamberts 204 00:07:16,701 --> 00:07:17,980 at Deep Throat. 205 00:07:18,022 --> 00:07:19,502 What is the world coming to? 206 00:07:19,544 --> 00:07:21,864 Well, this film is the talk of the dental community. 207 00:07:21,906 --> 00:07:23,946 Yeah, if that smug Peter Strom wants to brag 208 00:07:23,988 --> 00:07:26,509 about his porcelain veneers again, then I'm gonna say, 209 00:07:26,551 --> 00:07:28,390 "Oh, really? Well, guess what I got to see. 210 00:07:28,432 --> 00:07:29,752 I got to see"-- Yul Brynner. 211 00:07:29,794 --> 00:07:31,073 - Oh, is it? - I knew 212 00:07:31,115 --> 00:07:32,314 -it was a celebrity skull. -I do like Yul. 213 00:07:34,358 --> 00:07:35,798 Now the movie's gonna start and I didn't say hi. 214 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,520 Uh, you can talk to him after. 215 00:07:37,562 --> 00:07:38,561 - Shall we do this? - Maybe we're sitting 216 00:07:38,603 --> 00:07:39,882 - by him. - All right... 217 00:07:39,924 --> 00:07:41,043 - Are we sitting by him? - No, we're 218 00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,404 definitely not. We're not seated by him. 219 00:07:42,446 --> 00:07:43,726 -How do you know? -Please don't. Please don't. 220 00:07:43,768 --> 00:07:45,688 That's such a snazzy jacket, Lenny. 221 00:07:45,730 --> 00:07:47,089 Thank you. 222 00:07:47,131 --> 00:07:48,931 I don't get to, uh, trot it out very often, 223 00:07:48,973 --> 00:07:50,012 - but... - You know what? 224 00:07:50,054 --> 00:07:51,253 Let's be close to the aisle. 225 00:07:51,295 --> 00:07:52,815 - Okay. Ooh. - Yeah? 226 00:07:52,857 --> 00:07:53,936 - You want me to go-- - Oh, that's so cute. 227 00:07:53,978 --> 00:07:55,137 Your bladder's the size of a pea. 228 00:07:55,179 --> 00:07:56,458 - Uh, Joyce... - Yeah. 229 00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:57,860 You know what? You need to sit here. 230 00:07:57,902 --> 00:07:59,582 - We have sister business. - Oh, okay. 231 00:07:59,624 --> 00:08:00,863 Prigger! Joyce! 232 00:08:00,905 --> 00:08:02,907 Can I talk to you for a second? Now? 233 00:08:03,547 --> 00:08:05,107 I'm so sorry, Bambi. 234 00:08:05,149 --> 00:08:06,749 Okay. Yup. 235 00:08:06,791 --> 00:08:08,390 Okay. Sorry. Excuse us. 236 00:08:08,432 --> 00:08:10,432 - Sorry. 237 00:08:10,474 --> 00:08:12,274 - Just scootch that on over. - Oh. 238 00:08:12,316 --> 00:08:13,395 Okay, what do you think? 239 00:08:13,437 --> 00:08:14,877 Popcorn, nachos, dog of corn? 240 00:08:14,919 --> 00:08:17,079 Oh, uh, nachos, please. 241 00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:19,121 I have seen popcorn hulls get jammed 242 00:08:19,163 --> 00:08:20,522 right up into the gumline. 243 00:08:20,564 --> 00:08:22,565 -Yeah. -Your job is so interesting. 244 00:08:22,607 --> 00:08:24,166 Oh. 245 00:08:24,208 --> 00:08:25,568 Do you judge people when they get cavities, 246 00:08:25,610 --> 00:08:27,650 or is it nice to feel needed? 247 00:08:27,692 --> 00:08:29,531 Well, is it crazy if I say 248 00:08:29,573 --> 00:08:31,493 it's a little bit of both? 249 00:08:31,535 --> 00:08:33,656 No. 250 00:08:33,698 --> 00:08:34,857 No, well, that's what I was saying... 251 00:08:34,899 --> 00:08:36,258 Oh, no. 252 00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:38,220 Something gone awry with your mob-distributed 253 00:08:38,262 --> 00:08:39,942 -illegal film? -Okay, listen, Joyce, 254 00:08:39,984 --> 00:08:41,704 I-I might have to get up there and vamp a little bit 255 00:08:41,746 --> 00:08:43,986 for the crowd, and-and-and I might pull you up, okay? 256 00:08:44,028 --> 00:08:45,588 And I'm gonna need you, if you get up there, 257 00:08:45,630 --> 00:08:47,269 to talk about the-- kind of the lady Minx 258 00:08:47,311 --> 00:08:48,551 perspective of the movie to keep people going. 259 00:08:48,593 --> 00:08:50,072 All right, the Minx perspective is gonna 260 00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:52,116 be quite happy in her seat, eating Nonpareils, okay? 261 00:08:52,436 --> 00:08:53,756 -Want one? -No, I don't want a Nonpareil. 262 00:08:53,798 --> 00:08:55,800 Those are disgusting. 263 00:08:56,841 --> 00:08:59,241 Fuck. 264 00:09:02,727 --> 00:09:04,807 What? 265 00:09:04,849 --> 00:09:06,328 We're here for the reels. 266 00:09:09,053 --> 00:09:10,572 No. Not Lady Sings the Blues. 267 00:09:10,614 --> 00:09:13,535 Deep Throat. 268 00:09:13,577 --> 00:09:15,900 Okay, thank you. You too. 269 00:09:16,781 --> 00:09:19,461 - Kevin's coming down. - If you say so. 270 00:09:19,503 --> 00:09:22,384 Welcome, everybody, to the biggest and baddest 271 00:09:22,426 --> 00:09:25,467 social event of 1973. 272 00:09:28,472 --> 00:09:30,833 This movie is too hot for New York City. 273 00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:32,554 They couldn't handle it. 274 00:09:32,596 --> 00:09:34,957 Chicago couldn't handle it. 275 00:09:34,999 --> 00:09:36,879 But this is LA, baby. 276 00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:41,243 Can we handle it? 277 00:09:41,285 --> 00:09:43,287 Oh. 278 00:09:47,451 --> 00:09:50,172 But first, I wanna introduce 279 00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:52,935 Minx's own Joyce Prigger. 280 00:09:52,977 --> 00:09:55,299 Come on up, Joycey. 281 00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:57,660 You're gonna love her. I know I do. 282 00:09:57,702 --> 00:09:59,662 Get up, Joycey. 283 00:09:59,704 --> 00:10:02,384 Joyce! Joyce! Joyce! Joyce! Joyce! 284 00:10:02,426 --> 00:10:05,427 Joyce! Joyce! Whoo! 285 00:10:05,469 --> 00:10:07,589 Whoo! 286 00:10:07,631 --> 00:10:09,952 Surely we can work something out, guys. 287 00:10:09,994 --> 00:10:12,234 Shutting this down seems to be an extreme reaction 288 00:10:12,276 --> 00:10:13,475 to this situation. 289 00:10:13,517 --> 00:10:15,157 You placed ads on billboards. 290 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,398 You got those drive time idiots 291 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,040 to yammer about it on the radio. 292 00:10:18,082 --> 00:10:20,242 Then you wave your klieg lights across the city 293 00:10:20,284 --> 00:10:22,324 for a movie that's banned in half the country. 294 00:10:22,366 --> 00:10:23,565 You tied the DA's hands. 295 00:10:23,607 --> 00:10:26,769 Friends, you're killin' me right now. 296 00:10:26,811 --> 00:10:28,250 As we're all aware, 297 00:10:28,292 --> 00:10:31,493 Michelangelo was repulsed by the female form. 298 00:10:31,535 --> 00:10:33,976 Um... uh... 299 00:10:34,018 --> 00:10:36,418 Uh, his greatest depictions... 300 00:10:36,460 --> 00:10:39,902 ...were of virginal, untouched Mary. 301 00:10:44,869 --> 00:10:46,588 Uh... 302 00:10:46,630 --> 00:10:48,110 Have you guys seen the movie? 303 00:10:48,152 --> 00:10:50,192 It's more arthouse than it is porn. 304 00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:51,433 You know what it's about? It's about a woman 305 00:10:51,475 --> 00:10:53,075 -searching for pleasure-- -Mr. Renetti, 306 00:10:53,117 --> 00:10:54,676 this is not a negotiation. 307 00:10:54,718 --> 00:10:56,038 If a single frame of Deep Throat 308 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,359 hits that screen, 309 00:10:57,401 --> 00:11:00,883 we're gonna arrest you and everyone here. 310 00:11:03,407 --> 00:11:05,768 You guys really know how to rain 311 00:11:05,810 --> 00:11:07,970 on someone's parade, you know that? 312 00:11:08,012 --> 00:11:09,451 I just don't know what I'm gonna tell 313 00:11:09,493 --> 00:11:10,692 all those people in the theatre. 314 00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:12,214 I got no Deep Throat now 'cause of you. 315 00:11:12,256 --> 00:11:13,816 Well, better you say it here 316 00:11:13,858 --> 00:11:15,860 than from the inside of a jail cell. 317 00:11:17,822 --> 00:11:19,221 Good night, Mr. Renetti. 318 00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:22,224 I got egg all over my face, officers. 319 00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:24,146 You win again. 320 00:11:24,188 --> 00:11:25,788 I lose again. 321 00:11:25,830 --> 00:11:27,549 Thanks for nothin', officers. 322 00:11:32,596 --> 00:11:35,237 Deep dish pizza, 323 00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,840 a lake as big as an ocean, 324 00:11:37,882 --> 00:11:39,041 -the Cubbies-- -Is that a haiku? 325 00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:41,003 No. 326 00:11:41,045 --> 00:11:42,524 I was just listing all the things 327 00:11:42,566 --> 00:11:44,126 that you missed out on by turning down 328 00:11:44,168 --> 00:11:46,929 - the University of Chicago. - Don't start. 329 00:11:46,971 --> 00:11:48,690 Running Minx is my business school. 330 00:11:48,732 --> 00:11:51,413 Tina, you're not running Minx. You're running errands. 331 00:11:51,455 --> 00:11:54,096 Doug can distract us with all the new titles he wants, 332 00:11:54,138 --> 00:11:56,779 but we're still his gofers. 333 00:11:56,821 --> 00:11:59,701 Oh. 334 00:11:59,743 --> 00:12:01,103 There's supposed to be six. 335 00:12:01,145 --> 00:12:02,464 Yeah. Bob wanted to give 336 00:12:02,506 --> 00:12:04,066 the last three one more viewing. 337 00:12:04,108 --> 00:12:05,387 - He's had it for a week. - I don't know, man. 338 00:12:05,429 --> 00:12:06,748 The engagement sequence cheers him up. 339 00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:08,070 All right, I'll drive back with the first set. 340 00:12:08,112 --> 00:12:09,351 You stay and take a cab with the rest. 341 00:12:09,393 --> 00:12:11,233 Wha... 342 00:12:11,275 --> 00:12:13,677 Oh, Porn Schlepping 101. I love that MBA program. 343 00:12:14,999 --> 00:12:17,319 Is that grass? 344 00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:18,921 No. 345 00:12:24,448 --> 00:12:26,088 - Do you have 'em? - Yes. 346 00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:28,132 Yes. 347 00:12:29,013 --> 00:12:31,093 Oh, Tina, hallelujah. 348 00:12:32,576 --> 00:12:33,735 Tell me you weren't ridin' the brakes 349 00:12:33,777 --> 00:12:34,776 like that the whole time. 350 00:12:34,818 --> 00:12:36,098 Would you quit worrying? 351 00:12:36,140 --> 00:12:37,539 You kill the brakes when you do that. 352 00:12:37,581 --> 00:12:39,741 Uh, very good guess, but no, that is the perineum. 353 00:12:41,665 --> 00:12:45,067 Warren, for the 12th time, I know you know, all right? 354 00:12:45,109 --> 00:12:48,750 We all know you now. Right? 355 00:12:48,792 --> 00:12:52,234 Gentlemen, does any man in this room 356 00:12:52,276 --> 00:12:55,397 besides Warren Beatty over there, 357 00:12:55,439 --> 00:12:57,960 know where the clitoris is on a female body? 358 00:12:58,002 --> 00:12:59,882 Absolutely not. 359 00:12:59,924 --> 00:13:01,243 Yes, good sir. 360 00:13:01,285 --> 00:13:03,765 The little nubbin under the beret. 361 00:13:03,807 --> 00:13:06,448 Ew. Jeez. 362 00:13:06,490 --> 00:13:08,810 But yes. Yes, yes. 363 00:13:08,852 --> 00:13:10,612 It's the nubbin. 364 00:13:10,654 --> 00:13:13,175 The nubbin, everybody. All right, now, let's-- 365 00:13:13,217 --> 00:13:17,860 hey-hey, ladies and gentlemen, you've had enough of me. 366 00:13:17,902 --> 00:13:20,342 Are you ready for the absurdist 367 00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:23,145 cinematic spectacle of our time, 368 00:13:23,187 --> 00:13:24,666 Deep Throat? 369 00:13:44,168 --> 00:13:45,527 So do all of Bob's assistants 370 00:13:45,569 --> 00:13:47,649 have to wait for him to jerk off? 371 00:13:47,691 --> 00:13:49,251 I'm actually a VP at Paramount. 372 00:13:50,774 --> 00:13:52,294 But I started as his assistant, 373 00:13:52,336 --> 00:13:54,336 and he can't stop thinkin' of me that way. 374 00:13:54,378 --> 00:13:56,899 The things he makes me do. 375 00:13:56,941 --> 00:14:00,983 You know, if I ever have an assistant, 376 00:14:01,025 --> 00:14:04,226 I swear I'm gonna be so nice to him. 377 00:14:04,268 --> 00:14:06,228 - I do have an assistant. - Mm. 378 00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:07,629 Who do you think is standing 379 00:14:07,671 --> 00:14:09,793 outside Bob's door right now? 380 00:14:11,635 --> 00:14:14,238 No. No. I'm getting loopier by the second, so... 381 00:14:15,919 --> 00:14:17,921 And if I like you loopy? 382 00:14:22,326 --> 00:14:24,246 Kevin, I'm done. I need 383 00:14:24,288 --> 00:14:25,647 a strawberry milkshake... 384 00:14:25,689 --> 00:14:26,888 ...and a menthol cigarette. 385 00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:29,091 Also, I, uh, fired your assistant. 386 00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:30,492 He won't stop crying. 387 00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:32,536 -Duty calls. -Mm. 388 00:14:33,937 --> 00:14:35,939 Can you get me a cab? 389 00:14:37,661 --> 00:14:38,820 I have a better idea. 390 00:14:41,265 --> 00:14:42,504 Listen, having a clitoris 391 00:14:42,546 --> 00:14:44,026 deep down at the bottom of your throat 392 00:14:44,068 --> 00:14:45,827 is better than having no clitoris at all. 393 00:14:45,869 --> 00:14:49,791 That's easy for you to say. 394 00:14:49,833 --> 00:14:52,236 Suppose your balls were in your ear. 395 00:14:54,958 --> 00:14:56,518 Why, then I could hear myself coming. 396 00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:02,564 Listen, we have the problem solved. 397 00:15:02,606 --> 00:15:04,526 All we have to do now is find a solution. 398 00:15:04,568 --> 00:15:06,688 Like what? 399 00:15:08,052 --> 00:15:10,452 Like-like deep throat. 400 00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:11,653 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 401 00:15:11,695 --> 00:15:12,854 - Oh, my God. - Deep what? 402 00:15:12,896 --> 00:15:14,376 Deep throat. 403 00:15:14,418 --> 00:15:16,138 You make it sound so easy. 404 00:15:16,180 --> 00:15:18,700 Well, it is. 405 00:15:18,742 --> 00:15:21,383 Try it. You'll like it. 406 00:15:21,425 --> 00:15:23,905 Well, what have I got to lose? 407 00:15:23,947 --> 00:15:24,987 - Come dear. - How much time 408 00:15:25,029 --> 00:15:26,308 we got left, Timmy? 409 00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:28,430 Seven, maybe eight minutes. 410 00:15:28,472 --> 00:15:30,352 Well, it-it's better to give the audience 411 00:15:30,394 --> 00:15:32,554 some Deep Throat than no Deep Throat, right? 412 00:15:32,596 --> 00:15:34,396 No. It's way worse. 413 00:15:34,438 --> 00:15:36,038 - See this crack? - Yeah. 414 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,400 Sound of Music, '66. We spooled out 415 00:15:38,442 --> 00:15:39,921 right as the Nazis rushed in. 416 00:15:39,963 --> 00:15:41,323 All right, so we are about to give blue balls 417 00:15:41,365 --> 00:15:42,644 to this entire theatre. 418 00:15:42,686 --> 00:15:43,845 Is that what you're telling me right now? 419 00:15:43,887 --> 00:15:45,727 Yes, sir. 420 00:15:45,769 --> 00:15:48,650 Teens? Teens? Please. 421 00:15:48,692 --> 00:15:50,332 I need you. 422 00:15:50,374 --> 00:15:52,174 I need you to go find Richie and figure out 423 00:15:52,216 --> 00:15:53,455 what the holdup is. 424 00:15:53,497 --> 00:15:54,696 By the time I get there and back, 425 00:15:54,738 --> 00:15:56,138 this reel'll be long done. It doesn't m-- 426 00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:57,379 No, I have a plan for that. I have a plan for that. 427 00:15:57,421 --> 00:15:58,380 I'm gonna have Joyce go up there 428 00:15:58,422 --> 00:15:59,621 and tap dance a little bit. 429 00:15:59,663 --> 00:16:01,103 -Please. Please. -Okay, but it... 430 00:16:01,145 --> 00:16:02,504 - it just doesn't make sense. - I-I-I need you 431 00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:05,707 to go, please. 432 00:16:05,749 --> 00:16:08,152 -I'm begging you. -Ooh, okay. Yep. 433 00:16:09,913 --> 00:16:11,915 Oh, God. 434 00:16:13,957 --> 00:16:16,878 It's a lot. Right? 435 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,480 I've mostly been watching the crowd 436 00:16:18,522 --> 00:16:20,242 -instead of the screen. -What? Oh, no. 437 00:16:20,284 --> 00:16:22,444 I-I-I had a large cola. 438 00:16:22,486 --> 00:16:24,526 You know, after three kids, whoosh, goes right through ya. 439 00:16:24,568 --> 00:16:26,048 Well, Lenny seems to be having a good time. 440 00:16:26,090 --> 00:16:27,529 Oh, yeah. Mark my words, 441 00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:29,131 he's in there workshopping a Deep Throat joke 442 00:16:29,173 --> 00:16:31,175 he'll be telling for years. 443 00:16:34,138 --> 00:16:36,058 Huh? Ow! 444 00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:38,340 What's wrong with you? 445 00:16:40,664 --> 00:16:42,144 -Joan Didion? -Oh, my God. 446 00:16:42,186 --> 00:16:44,948 Is it the auth-- Joan Didion? Is she here? 447 00:16:47,351 --> 00:16:49,391 - Hi. Hi. - Oh, God. 448 00:16:49,433 --> 00:16:51,753 - I'm, uh--I'm Joyce-- - Joyce Prigger, yeah. 449 00:16:51,795 --> 00:16:53,275 I enjoyed your little performance. 450 00:16:53,317 --> 00:16:56,478 Oh, God. Blech. 451 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:57,919 What are you doing here? 452 00:16:57,961 --> 00:16:59,961 Forming an opinion. 453 00:17:00,003 --> 00:17:03,525 I wanted to see what all the... the fuss was about. 454 00:17:03,567 --> 00:17:05,207 Well, people are here. 455 00:17:05,249 --> 00:17:07,369 You know, and people are really laughing. 456 00:17:07,411 --> 00:17:08,690 But I-I think that's because 457 00:17:08,732 --> 00:17:10,772 of the collective anxiety 458 00:17:10,814 --> 00:17:13,415 of watching something so unsettling on screen. 459 00:17:13,457 --> 00:17:17,018 The laughter's a nervous release, you know? 460 00:17:18,782 --> 00:17:20,142 I think they're laughing 'cause it's a comedy. 461 00:17:20,184 --> 00:17:21,823 Yes. I-I agree. 462 00:17:21,865 --> 00:17:23,585 Well, I don't think it was their intent, 463 00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:25,547 but, uh, regardless, 464 00:17:25,589 --> 00:17:27,789 they seem to have stumbled onto something. 465 00:17:27,831 --> 00:17:29,833 And will you excuse me? 466 00:17:38,322 --> 00:17:39,521 Hey, Joan? 467 00:17:39,563 --> 00:17:43,084 Um, fun idea just occurred to me. 468 00:17:43,126 --> 00:17:44,326 What if you wrote 469 00:17:44,368 --> 00:17:46,047 about this for Minx? 470 00:17:46,089 --> 00:17:47,249 Uh... 471 00:17:47,291 --> 00:17:49,171 Just some small musings, really. 472 00:17:49,213 --> 00:17:50,252 Just you... just your thoughts 473 00:17:50,294 --> 00:17:52,454 on what it all means. 474 00:17:52,496 --> 00:17:55,337 It is possible to continue this conversation 475 00:17:55,379 --> 00:17:57,459 at another time? 476 00:17:57,501 --> 00:18:00,382 Well, uh, actually, 477 00:18:00,424 --> 00:18:04,626 um, we're having an after-party, 478 00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:07,189 um, which you should come to. 479 00:18:07,231 --> 00:18:09,351 Um, and we can... we can chat there 480 00:18:09,393 --> 00:18:11,393 if you like and talk about life 481 00:18:11,435 --> 00:18:14,676 and star signs and... 482 00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:15,917 - Um... - Oh. 483 00:18:15,959 --> 00:18:18,360 - There you go. - Yeah. 484 00:18:18,402 --> 00:18:20,484 Is this in the valley? 485 00:18:24,087 --> 00:18:26,087 Help me push this against the door. 486 00:18:26,129 --> 00:18:28,131 - It might buy us some time. - Stop it. 487 00:18:31,615 --> 00:18:33,295 Her-her-her eyes were smiling. 488 00:18:33,337 --> 00:18:34,576 You know? Like-like-like, 489 00:18:34,618 --> 00:18:37,859 from ear to ear. Oh! 490 00:18:37,901 --> 00:18:41,183 Oh, God, no! 491 00:18:41,225 --> 00:18:42,584 Oh! Oh, God. 492 00:18:42,626 --> 00:18:43,865 Oh, that's terrible. 493 00:18:43,907 --> 00:18:45,267 Find reel four. 494 00:18:45,309 --> 00:18:46,788 - All right. Jesus. - Oh, okay. 495 00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:48,109 I haven't seen any of it. How am I supposed to know 496 00:18:48,151 --> 00:18:49,271 - what's in reel four? - Shout it out. 497 00:18:49,313 --> 00:18:50,352 - I'll know. - I've got, uh, 498 00:18:50,394 --> 00:18:51,873 pubic shaving. 499 00:18:51,915 --> 00:18:53,475 Is this the nurse making whoopie? 500 00:18:53,517 --> 00:18:55,557 There's a straw coming out of her vagina. 501 00:18:55,599 --> 00:18:57,599 That's Coke dildo. 502 00:18:57,641 --> 00:18:58,840 Coke dildo starts reel four. 503 00:18:58,882 --> 00:19:00,041 All right, give me reel four. 504 00:19:00,083 --> 00:19:01,963 It's reel four. Give it to me. 505 00:19:02,005 --> 00:19:03,485 Thank you. Come on. 506 00:19:03,527 --> 00:19:05,447 Oh, my God. Give me that. 507 00:19:05,489 --> 00:19:06,848 - Come on. - Fuck! 508 00:19:11,655 --> 00:19:14,015 Je--God, reel four. 509 00:19:16,219 --> 00:19:18,900 Case 358. Albert Finster. Age 25. 510 00:19:18,942 --> 00:19:20,582 Bachelor. 511 00:19:20,624 --> 00:19:22,143 Has an obsession in finding out 512 00:19:22,185 --> 00:19:24,826 that things really do go better with Coke. 513 00:19:24,868 --> 00:19:27,509 Relax your muscles... 514 00:19:40,444 --> 00:19:42,163 All right. 515 00:19:42,205 --> 00:19:44,886 Oh. Thank you. You're very kind. 516 00:19:44,928 --> 00:19:46,528 Thank you. 517 00:19:46,570 --> 00:19:48,690 Hi, hello. 518 00:19:48,732 --> 00:19:50,452 Did you enjoy it? Love your boa. 519 00:19:50,494 --> 00:19:52,254 'Kay, thank you. Great to meet you. 520 00:19:52,296 --> 00:19:54,696 Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. 521 00:19:54,738 --> 00:19:56,378 All right, you should put some ice on that, 522 00:19:56,420 --> 00:19:58,059 because we have an after-party to host. 523 00:19:58,101 --> 00:20:00,021 Thought you nixed that. Who was it, Joyce Carol Oates 524 00:20:00,063 --> 00:20:01,663 in the bathtub, reading a book or something? 525 00:20:01,705 --> 00:20:04,185 No, it's Joan Didion, and she's coming to the party, okay? 526 00:20:04,227 --> 00:20:05,907 She might actually be writing about Deep Throat 527 00:20:05,949 --> 00:20:08,189 for our magazine. 528 00:20:08,231 --> 00:20:10,151 Oh, God, this really is a cultural phenomenon. 529 00:20:10,193 --> 00:20:11,793 - Uh... it's not gonna happen. - Hi. 530 00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,154 We don't have time to throw a party. 531 00:20:13,196 --> 00:20:14,916 What? No, it's fine. Constance is all over it. 532 00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:16,398 She's got a caterer on retainer. 533 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:17,999 - Constance... - Yeah. 534 00:20:18,041 --> 00:20:20,201 ...is gonna stock the booze for one of our parties? 535 00:20:20,243 --> 00:20:21,563 - Yeah. - No. 536 00:20:21,605 --> 00:20:22,844 - Why? - No, no, if we're gonna do it, 537 00:20:22,886 --> 00:20:24,165 it's gotta be Tina. I'll send Tina. 538 00:20:24,207 --> 00:20:25,447 -She knows what good-- -Tina! Where is Tina? 539 00:20:25,489 --> 00:20:27,491 I haven't seen her all evening. Thank you. 540 00:20:28,251 --> 00:20:30,253 Hi! Oh, my God, hi. 541 00:20:33,497 --> 00:20:35,056 Enjoy! 542 00:20:39,262 --> 00:20:40,942 Great choice. 543 00:20:42,986 --> 00:20:44,386 No, no, I liked it. I liked it. 544 00:20:44,428 --> 00:20:46,708 Of course, I've had a lot of women patients, 545 00:20:46,750 --> 00:20:47,949 but the only thing I've ever found 546 00:20:47,991 --> 00:20:49,070 in the back of a woman's throat 547 00:20:49,112 --> 00:20:50,392 is esophageal cancer. 548 00:20:50,434 --> 00:20:51,793 So another... oh, yeah. 549 00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:53,234 Hey, you're driving. 550 00:20:53,276 --> 00:20:54,756 Oh, the green ones are for focus. 551 00:20:54,798 --> 00:20:56,918 Astronauts take them to survive reentry. 552 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,401 - You can have half. - Ooh. 553 00:20:59,443 --> 00:21:00,642 - Give it. - I love what you did 554 00:21:00,684 --> 00:21:01,563 with the lens flare. It makes you feel 555 00:21:01,605 --> 00:21:02,604 like someone's looking. 556 00:21:02,646 --> 00:21:03,805 Most people get derailed 557 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,647 by the monster cock. 558 00:21:05,689 --> 00:21:07,609 Oh. Funny and talented. 559 00:21:07,651 --> 00:21:09,290 Hope you're ready to hit the big time. 560 00:21:09,332 --> 00:21:10,932 Okay. 561 00:21:10,974 --> 00:21:13,615 Well, the difference is, cane's got a crook, 562 00:21:13,657 --> 00:21:16,057 whereas this baby right here... check that out. 563 00:21:16,099 --> 00:21:19,501 Nepalese fire opal. 564 00:21:19,543 --> 00:21:21,943 They say it's cursed. 565 00:21:21,985 --> 00:21:24,506 I say it's expensive. 566 00:21:24,548 --> 00:21:26,227 - Ahem. - A great piece. 567 00:21:37,801 --> 00:21:39,441 Oh, yeah? When I was a kid, 568 00:21:39,483 --> 00:21:41,002 I thought a blow job was someone 569 00:21:41,044 --> 00:21:42,724 literally blowing on your dick. 570 00:21:42,766 --> 00:21:44,646 No, the first time I saw a penis, 571 00:21:44,688 --> 00:21:46,848 I thought it was a long belly button. 572 00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:50,051 What kind of wackos send these unsolicited? 573 00:21:50,093 --> 00:21:52,494 Aw, grandpa thinks he belongs in a magazine. 574 00:21:54,057 --> 00:21:55,777 That's Wayne. He has a purple heart. 575 00:21:55,819 --> 00:21:57,821 Yeah. And a purple penis. 576 00:21:58,742 --> 00:22:01,623 Um... 577 00:22:01,665 --> 00:22:03,385 Hey, can I get a refill? 578 00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:11,793 Ah, nothing more attractive 579 00:22:11,835 --> 00:22:14,275 than a man doing the dishes. 580 00:22:14,317 --> 00:22:16,277 You know, if you were 20 years younger, 581 00:22:16,319 --> 00:22:17,959 I might just lock you away in my tower. 582 00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:19,721 Well, if you were ten years older, 583 00:22:19,763 --> 00:22:21,403 I might let ya. 584 00:22:21,445 --> 00:22:22,804 I'm just sayin' my goodbyes. 585 00:22:22,846 --> 00:22:24,325 Not bad for our maiden voyage, huh? 586 00:22:24,367 --> 00:22:25,687 What do you think? You happy? 587 00:22:25,729 --> 00:22:27,529 I especially appreciate the way you handled 588 00:22:27,571 --> 00:22:29,370 the debacle with the missing reels 589 00:22:29,412 --> 00:22:31,172 and the police. 590 00:22:31,214 --> 00:22:32,854 - What police? - Mm-hmm. 591 00:22:32,896 --> 00:22:34,135 I know that you're used to taking care 592 00:22:34,177 --> 00:22:36,978 of all these things by yourself, but use me. 593 00:22:37,020 --> 00:22:39,981 I was the DA's third-largest donor, 594 00:22:40,023 --> 00:22:42,063 and that prickly son of a bitch owes me. 595 00:22:42,105 --> 00:22:43,545 Good to know. 596 00:22:43,587 --> 00:22:45,907 But I like what I saw tonight, Douglas. 597 00:22:45,949 --> 00:22:48,029 I'm very excited to roll up our sleeves 598 00:22:48,071 --> 00:22:49,871 and see where this is gonna go. 599 00:22:49,913 --> 00:22:50,872 Me too. 600 00:22:50,914 --> 00:22:52,594 Oh, and by the way, 601 00:22:52,636 --> 00:22:56,478 awfully generous of you to give Joyce the larger office. 602 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,522 You are a gentleman. 603 00:23:06,329 --> 00:23:07,368 Your car is on Mulholland 604 00:23:07,410 --> 00:23:08,570 somewhere between Coldwater 605 00:23:08,612 --> 00:23:10,051 and Laurel Canyon. 606 00:23:10,093 --> 00:23:11,813 That Rolls is a piece of shit, and so are you. 607 00:23:11,855 --> 00:23:13,134 I shouldn't have sent you, 608 00:23:13,176 --> 00:23:14,255 but there was no way I could have reached-- 609 00:23:14,297 --> 00:23:15,697 Laurel and Coldwater? 610 00:23:15,739 --> 00:23:17,258 That's a two-mile stretch, Teens. 611 00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:18,660 Tough shit. 612 00:23:18,702 --> 00:23:19,941 I just walked into a big-ass party 613 00:23:19,983 --> 00:23:21,503 that I wasn't invited to 614 00:23:21,545 --> 00:23:23,985 for a movie I didn't get to see. 615 00:23:24,027 --> 00:23:25,146 Go back to the party, guys. 616 00:23:25,188 --> 00:23:27,188 Have fun. Tina, please, 617 00:23:27,230 --> 00:23:28,429 you think that was my intention? 618 00:23:28,471 --> 00:23:29,791 There was no way I could reach you. 619 00:23:29,833 --> 00:23:31,873 Résumés for my replacement. 620 00:23:31,915 --> 00:23:34,435 I am the managing editor, Doug, not your secretary. 621 00:23:34,477 --> 00:23:36,598 If you need me, I'll be drinking 622 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,880 your secret Scotch in Joyce's office. 623 00:23:38,922 --> 00:23:40,401 That's where the fun seems to be. 624 00:23:40,443 --> 00:23:44,165 The-the-the only thing 625 00:23:44,207 --> 00:23:45,567 I've found at the back of a woman's throat 626 00:23:45,609 --> 00:23:48,291 is a swollen uvula. 627 00:23:49,092 --> 00:23:50,892 Okay, these pills are definitely making me funnier. 628 00:23:50,934 --> 00:23:52,734 - Can I have the other half now? - No. It's 2:00 a.m. 629 00:23:52,776 --> 00:23:54,455 The sitter probably thinks we're dead. 630 00:23:54,497 --> 00:23:56,297 Okay, so what's another hour? 631 00:23:56,339 --> 00:23:57,939 You've had enough, okay? 632 00:23:57,981 --> 00:24:00,982 Y-you can tell all your friends tomorrow at the club 633 00:24:01,024 --> 00:24:04,465 about your big party with the porn stars. 634 00:24:04,507 --> 00:24:07,468 That's what you think this night is about? 635 00:24:07,510 --> 00:24:09,512 Shell... 636 00:24:11,154 --> 00:24:13,474 Something is going on with you, and I don't know what. 637 00:24:13,516 --> 00:24:15,276 And I-I don't quite know why, but I just figured 638 00:24:15,318 --> 00:24:16,277 it would be good for us to get away 639 00:24:16,319 --> 00:24:17,278 from the kids and the house 640 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:18,399 and the responsibilities, 641 00:24:18,441 --> 00:24:20,443 try to have a little fun together? 642 00:24:21,084 --> 00:24:22,564 I would like that, too, 643 00:24:22,606 --> 00:24:25,569 to have some fun with you. 644 00:24:26,129 --> 00:24:28,369 Look, I love you. 645 00:24:28,411 --> 00:24:29,971 And-and whatever this is, 646 00:24:30,013 --> 00:24:31,733 I wanna figure it out with you. 647 00:24:31,775 --> 00:24:33,777 Do whatever it takes. 648 00:24:35,018 --> 00:24:37,020 I do still have that other half, so... 649 00:24:47,831 --> 00:24:49,230 Come with me. 650 00:24:49,272 --> 00:24:51,274 I know a place. 651 00:24:52,035 --> 00:24:54,037 kiss. 652 00:24:54,557 --> 00:24:56,437 - Oh. - Watch out, 653 00:24:56,479 --> 00:24:57,959 the cabinet on the left is a little wobbly. 654 00:24:58,001 --> 00:25:00,283 Okay. 655 00:25:03,326 --> 00:25:05,006 You're the belle of the ball. 656 00:25:05,048 --> 00:25:07,208 Joan! Hi. 657 00:25:07,250 --> 00:25:09,370 I didn't know you were here. Hi. 658 00:25:09,412 --> 00:25:10,812 That's by design. 659 00:25:10,854 --> 00:25:12,856 Oh. 660 00:25:13,416 --> 00:25:15,336 Is that your notebook? 661 00:25:15,378 --> 00:25:17,699 Are you-are you considering writing the piece? 662 00:25:17,741 --> 00:25:20,904 I don't think I have much to say about Deep Throat. 663 00:25:21,785 --> 00:25:24,345 Oh. Really? 664 00:25:24,387 --> 00:25:25,867 Mm. 665 00:25:25,909 --> 00:25:28,189 But doesn't it seem like people are longing 666 00:25:28,231 --> 00:25:32,033 for a way to be more open about sexuality 667 00:25:32,075 --> 00:25:36,157 and-and to ask questions without feeling shame? 668 00:25:36,199 --> 00:25:38,279 And so they've turned this ridiculous movie 669 00:25:38,321 --> 00:25:39,480 into this spectacle 670 00:25:39,522 --> 00:25:42,403 to give themselves a way to do just that. 671 00:25:42,445 --> 00:25:44,285 And, do you know, I don't think it stops there. 672 00:25:44,327 --> 00:25:46,247 I-I think... I don't know. 673 00:25:46,289 --> 00:25:48,369 This feels like the beginning of something. 674 00:25:50,734 --> 00:25:52,974 Sounds like you've already started writing it. 675 00:26:07,190 --> 00:26:09,430 - Hey. - Hey. 676 00:26:09,472 --> 00:26:11,472 Well, this is the biggest party we've ever thrown. 677 00:26:11,514 --> 00:26:13,516 Oh, by far. 678 00:26:14,597 --> 00:26:16,037 Ernest Borgnine and Warren Beatty 679 00:26:16,079 --> 00:26:17,358 came to blows in the parking lot. 680 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,121 What? Why didn't anybody come tell me? 681 00:26:20,163 --> 00:26:22,483 It wasn't a fair fight. 682 00:26:22,525 --> 00:26:23,965 Ernie dropped with one punch. 683 00:26:24,007 --> 00:26:26,369 Ugh, I fucking missed everything. 684 00:26:29,693 --> 00:26:31,653 I think I like the old parties better. 685 00:26:31,695 --> 00:26:33,977 Yeah. Porn's gone mainstream. 686 00:28:24,407 --> 00:28:26,409 Eighteen. 687 00:28:28,491 --> 00:28:30,693 Motherfuck.