1 00:00:02,446 --> 00:00:03,780 [bell rings] [feedback squeals] 2 00:00:03,846 --> 00:00:06,049 - Let's give a shout-out to our sixth graders 3 00:00:06,116 --> 00:00:08,785 who embark tomorrow on a P.S. 38 tradition: 4 00:00:08,851 --> 00:00:11,421 The Survival Skills Camping Trip. 5 00:00:11,488 --> 00:00:13,824 - Oh, I'm so not into this. 6 00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:15,925 Ever since I portrayed camping victim number three 7 00:00:15,991 --> 00:00:18,661 in that commercial last year, I've been scared of it. 8 00:00:18,729 --> 00:00:20,764 - Well, in real life, camping is dope. 9 00:00:20,831 --> 00:00:23,834 - You get to eat s'mores and wipe with leaves. 10 00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,469 - Ugh. I'd rather go without wiping at all. 11 00:00:26,536 --> 00:00:28,105 - Been there, not good. 12 00:00:28,172 --> 00:00:30,907 - Now, although safety is our number one priority, 13 00:00:30,974 --> 00:00:34,311 we have had some minor mishaps over the years. 14 00:00:34,378 --> 00:00:37,314 - * I am one with nature * 15 00:00:37,381 --> 00:00:39,915 * And na-- * [yells] 16 00:00:39,982 --> 00:00:41,152 - [whistling] 17 00:00:41,217 --> 00:00:43,320 [screams] 18 00:00:43,387 --> 00:00:45,588 [chainsaw revs] 19 00:00:45,655 --> 00:00:50,092 [all screaming] 20 00:00:50,161 --> 00:00:52,128 - See, we're all gonna die! 21 00:00:52,195 --> 00:00:53,263 - Oh, come on. 22 00:00:53,329 --> 00:00:54,464 What are you worried about, Dee? 23 00:00:54,530 --> 00:00:55,765 You're an actress. 24 00:00:55,832 --> 00:00:57,268 You love constant rejection, 25 00:00:57,333 --> 00:01:00,003 unhealthy beauty standards, and most importantly, 26 00:01:00,070 --> 00:01:02,439 putting yourself in wacky and improbable situations. 27 00:01:02,506 --> 00:01:04,006 - On all accounts, you're right, 28 00:01:04,074 --> 00:01:08,145 except just as a character. This is real life. 29 00:01:08,211 --> 00:01:11,881 - So why not act like someone who's not afraid of camping? 30 00:01:11,948 --> 00:01:14,451 - Don't forget to bring your signed liability waivers 31 00:01:14,517 --> 00:01:16,386 and remember our motto: 32 00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:18,654 "It's not the school's fault." 33 00:01:18,722 --> 00:01:20,491 [knock at door] Oh. 34 00:01:22,425 --> 00:01:23,893 - Great Scott. 35 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:27,497 My jazzercise classes seem to be having quite the effect. 36 00:01:27,564 --> 00:01:29,399 - It's not you, Fontaine. 37 00:01:29,466 --> 00:01:31,100 My office is infested with termites 38 00:01:31,168 --> 00:01:34,171 and the school can't afford an exterminator. 39 00:01:34,237 --> 00:01:35,271 [groans] 40 00:01:35,338 --> 00:01:36,473 [toilet flushes] 41 00:01:36,539 --> 00:01:38,975 Oh, don't forget to wash your hands, Chad. 42 00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:42,213 - Interestingly enough, funding for the school 43 00:01:42,278 --> 00:01:43,946 is what I came to discuss. 44 00:01:44,014 --> 00:01:45,381 - Go on. 45 00:01:45,449 --> 00:01:48,985 - Late last night whilst surfing ham radio frequencies, 46 00:01:49,052 --> 00:01:52,488 I learned of a method for monetizing the survival trip. 47 00:01:52,556 --> 00:01:53,789 We'll need to be discrete. 48 00:01:53,856 --> 00:01:56,493 - Tell me. Oh, please tell me. 49 00:01:56,559 --> 00:01:59,996 - The elegant egg of this extra-large eagle 50 00:02:00,062 --> 00:02:01,497 is of extreme value. 51 00:02:01,565 --> 00:02:05,535 All we must do is look for the tallest pine tree and-- 52 00:02:05,601 --> 00:02:06,937 [both yell] 53 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:09,206 Ow, my sciatica! 54 00:02:09,272 --> 00:02:11,607 [upbeat music] 55 00:02:11,675 --> 00:02:14,010 - * Don't want to go to school today * 56 00:02:14,076 --> 00:02:16,747 * The sun is red hot and I wanna play * 57 00:02:16,813 --> 00:02:19,383 * But if I get caught they'll make me pay * 58 00:02:19,450 --> 00:02:21,151 * Detention again * 59 00:02:21,218 --> 00:02:22,653 - * Big Nate, Big Nate * 60 00:02:22,718 --> 00:02:23,854 - * Math and social studies just ain't my thing * 61 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:25,289 - * Big Nate, Big Nate * 62 00:02:25,355 --> 00:02:27,224 - * Rocking with my band is where I'm king * 63 00:02:27,290 --> 00:02:32,896 * Stealing the teacher's teeth or bailing on a test * 64 00:02:32,963 --> 00:02:34,698 - * Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh * 65 00:02:34,765 --> 00:02:36,131 * Big Nate * 66 00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:37,600 [loud clang] 67 00:02:37,668 --> 00:02:39,603 [loud crash] 68 00:02:42,539 --> 00:02:44,607 - Ugh. Need your John Hancock. 69 00:02:44,675 --> 00:02:46,742 - Hmm? The Survival Skills Trip! 70 00:02:46,809 --> 00:02:49,079 That experience made me the confident, 71 00:02:49,145 --> 00:02:51,881 assertive person I am today. [farts] 72 00:02:51,948 --> 00:02:54,951 Yes, that was me. Anyway, Ellen, tell him. 73 00:02:55,017 --> 00:02:56,386 - Oh, same here. 74 00:02:56,452 --> 00:02:59,589 Yeah, it was a big, big deal. Total game changer. 75 00:02:59,655 --> 00:03:01,925 - You guys, come on. It's just a camping trip. 76 00:03:01,992 --> 00:03:04,295 - To the inexperienced tenderfoot, yes. 77 00:03:04,361 --> 00:03:05,496 But for us greats-- 78 00:03:05,562 --> 00:03:06,930 you see, when I went on the trip, 79 00:03:06,997 --> 00:03:08,799 I won the Wilderness Warrior Award. 80 00:03:08,865 --> 00:03:10,401 It was the second proudest day of my life. 81 00:03:10,467 --> 00:03:13,704 Eclipsed only by the day that Ellen won the award herself. 82 00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:17,006 - Wait, there's an award? What do you get? 83 00:03:17,073 --> 00:03:19,576 - Oh, let's see. Is it here? No. Hmm. 84 00:03:19,642 --> 00:03:23,246 [gasps] Behold middle school greatness. 85 00:03:25,648 --> 00:03:27,418 - Great. A piece of paper. 86 00:03:27,484 --> 00:03:29,552 - Oh, it's so much more than paper. 87 00:03:29,619 --> 00:03:31,855 It's proof you're the strongest, fiercest, 88 00:03:31,921 --> 00:03:33,824 and most awesome kid in the grade. 89 00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:37,027 [dramatic fanfare] 90 00:03:37,093 --> 00:03:40,431 * * 91 00:03:40,497 --> 00:03:44,901 - Oh, yeah. I'm awesome. Gonna prove that I'm awesome. 92 00:03:44,968 --> 00:03:46,569 - Or, you'll blow it and forever 93 00:03:46,636 --> 00:03:48,738 be known as the family loser. 94 00:03:48,805 --> 00:03:51,241 Oh, wait, I'm sorry, you already are. 95 00:03:51,307 --> 00:03:54,610 - I'll have-- - This is the tent that I used, 96 00:03:54,677 --> 00:03:57,448 your sister used, and now you'll use. 97 00:03:57,514 --> 00:04:01,784 She's our lucky charm, but a tent. 98 00:04:01,851 --> 00:04:04,754 - Ugh, smells like a dead skunk. 99 00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:06,990 - Oh, nonsense. 100 00:04:09,325 --> 00:04:10,927 [person screams] 101 00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:15,699 - Whoa, Principal Nichols. 102 00:04:15,766 --> 00:04:17,500 Where did you learn to drive a bus? 103 00:04:17,567 --> 00:04:20,103 - Ah, the classroom of life, my boy. 104 00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:23,273 Why pay for a so-called "safe and professional driver" 105 00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:27,343 when I can do the job myself? You got the map? 106 00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:29,913 We're gonna find that eagle egg and make a fortune 107 00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:32,682 for the school. Huh? What is that? 108 00:04:32,749 --> 00:04:35,686 - Brace for impact. [loud thunk] 109 00:04:35,752 --> 00:04:37,319 Dee Dee? What the who's it now? 110 00:04:37,388 --> 00:04:40,055 - Dee Dee? I'm afraid you're mistaken, good sir. 111 00:04:40,122 --> 00:04:43,826 I'm famous and fearless explorer Amelia Earhart. 112 00:04:43,893 --> 00:04:46,829 - Amelia Earhart didn't make it home alive. 113 00:04:46,896 --> 00:04:50,701 I suggest you place your fanny in a seat, young lady. 114 00:04:50,766 --> 00:04:53,336 - [grunts, laughs] 115 00:04:53,403 --> 00:04:57,908 - Keep this list of approved wilderness activities handy. 116 00:04:57,973 --> 00:05:00,076 I'll be watching you at all times. 117 00:05:00,143 --> 00:05:04,581 And remember, I have eyes in the back of my head. 118 00:05:04,648 --> 00:05:06,617 - All the better to watch me win. 119 00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:08,018 - What are you talking about, bruh? 120 00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:10,186 - Yeah, it's a trip. Not a contest. 121 00:05:10,252 --> 00:05:12,021 - Major advantage alert. 122 00:05:12,088 --> 00:05:14,090 I'm the only one who knows about the award. 123 00:05:14,156 --> 00:05:17,360 That means I got this competition in the bag. 124 00:05:17,427 --> 00:05:18,662 [horn honks] 125 00:05:18,728 --> 00:05:20,062 [upbeat music] 126 00:05:20,129 --> 00:05:23,033 [dog barking] 127 00:05:26,136 --> 00:05:29,605 - Smell it, kids? You smell that? That's nature. 128 00:05:29,672 --> 00:05:31,708 You will be divided into two groups. 129 00:05:31,774 --> 00:05:34,577 Ladies, follow me. 130 00:05:34,644 --> 00:05:36,846 - Wait, what? Why do we have to have 131 00:05:36,913 --> 00:05:38,749 different groups for boys and girls? 132 00:05:38,814 --> 00:05:40,451 I mean, why can't we just camp with our friends? 133 00:05:40,516 --> 00:05:43,787 - Aren't we all friends here, Ms. Holloway? 134 00:05:43,853 --> 00:05:45,721 [girls giggling] - Um... 135 00:05:45,788 --> 00:05:49,660 sorry, I meant, yay, girl power. 136 00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:52,629 [lively guitar music] 137 00:05:52,696 --> 00:05:56,699 * * 138 00:05:56,766 --> 00:05:58,701 - Hello, Nate. You're needing a foot? 139 00:05:58,768 --> 00:06:02,672 - It's hand, actually. And no, all good. 140 00:06:02,739 --> 00:06:05,107 - Hey, ho, lucky us. 141 00:06:05,175 --> 00:06:07,610 It is instruction for to build this tent. 142 00:06:07,677 --> 00:06:10,980 - Pfft, I come from a long line of Wilderness Warriors. 143 00:06:11,047 --> 00:06:13,016 We Wrights, nah, we don't need inst-- 144 00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:14,884 [grunts] 145 00:06:14,951 --> 00:06:17,220 - The tent of Nate is fly away. 146 00:06:17,287 --> 00:06:19,422 - Huh? 147 00:06:19,490 --> 00:06:20,891 This is the perfect excuse 148 00:06:20,956 --> 00:06:22,925 to ditch the kids and find that egg. 149 00:06:22,992 --> 00:06:25,728 - But aren't we responsible for these students? 150 00:06:25,795 --> 00:06:27,797 Just kidding. Let's get outta here. 151 00:06:27,864 --> 00:06:29,098 - Don't worry, son. We're on it. 152 00:06:29,165 --> 00:06:30,766 - Wait. No, no, no, no. I don't need help. 153 00:06:30,833 --> 00:06:32,302 I'll go find it myself. 154 00:06:32,367 --> 00:06:33,836 - Sorry, buddy, for legal reasons, 155 00:06:33,903 --> 00:06:36,172 we can't allow you kids to leave camp without an adult. 156 00:06:36,239 --> 00:06:37,040 See ya. 157 00:06:37,107 --> 00:06:39,109 - Hmm. Minor setback. 158 00:06:39,175 --> 00:06:41,244 That award is still mine for the taking. 159 00:06:41,311 --> 00:06:43,946 I mean, come on, look at my competition. 160 00:06:46,381 --> 00:06:49,886 - [yelling] 161 00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:53,756 - Well, how are you today, little buddy? 162 00:06:53,824 --> 00:06:55,124 Oh! 163 00:06:55,191 --> 00:06:58,160 [laughing] Oh, that tickles! 164 00:06:59,562 --> 00:07:02,898 - Wilderness Warrior domination, imminent. 165 00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:08,370 - All right, very good. 166 00:07:08,437 --> 00:07:10,706 These tents look good. 167 00:07:10,773 --> 00:07:14,043 Ms. Holloway, can we pick up the pace, please? 168 00:07:14,110 --> 00:07:16,312 - Yes, we can! 169 00:07:16,379 --> 00:07:19,182 Get it? I'm Rosie the Riveter. 170 00:07:19,249 --> 00:07:21,985 You know, Rosie the Riveter, the iconic woman behind-- 171 00:07:22,052 --> 00:07:25,388 - Mother nature doesn't give points for whimsy. 172 00:07:25,454 --> 00:07:28,524 - We finished our tents, Mrs. Godfrey. 173 00:07:28,591 --> 00:07:30,460 May we please go exploring? 174 00:07:30,526 --> 00:07:34,965 - By all means, my little eager beaverlette. 175 00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:36,066 - Wait up, you guys! 176 00:07:36,131 --> 00:07:39,335 - [growling] 177 00:07:39,401 --> 00:07:40,771 - Hmm. 178 00:07:45,141 --> 00:07:47,744 [dramatic music] 179 00:07:47,811 --> 00:07:50,980 both: The tallest pine tree. 180 00:07:51,047 --> 00:07:53,716 - Oh yeah. Come to Papa. 181 00:07:53,783 --> 00:07:55,184 [both laugh] 182 00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:56,853 - [gasps] 183 00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,922 [eagle caws] both: Ahh! 184 00:07:59,990 --> 00:08:03,593 - Okay, let's see. Find a safe water source. 185 00:08:03,660 --> 00:08:06,730 - Oh, wow, a river! 186 00:08:06,797 --> 00:08:09,800 - Let the record show I found the safe water source first. 187 00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:12,067 - Dude, who cares? It's not homework. 188 00:08:12,134 --> 00:08:13,336 When will you learn that 189 00:08:13,403 --> 00:08:14,970 things only matter when you're being graded? 190 00:08:15,038 --> 00:08:19,542 - Well, I'm gonna celebrate by having a nice, cool drink. 191 00:08:21,812 --> 00:08:22,913 [muffled scream] 192 00:08:27,350 --> 00:08:31,153 - You guys wanna slow down? You know, take in the scenery? 193 00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:35,625 - You wanna ditch the giant bag so you can keep up? 194 00:08:35,692 --> 00:08:38,293 - Sophia Danenberg always 195 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,364 wore a large camping pack on her treks. 196 00:08:41,431 --> 00:08:44,134 - Yes, she did. Whoo, I love her. 197 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,435 Who is she? 198 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:47,970 - Danenberg was the first Black woman 199 00:08:48,038 --> 00:08:49,873 to summit Mount Everest. 200 00:08:49,940 --> 00:08:51,006 - Right on. 201 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,610 Mad respect, Sophia. Mad respect. 202 00:08:53,677 --> 00:08:57,547 - Yeah. She's a-- [yelling] 203 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:01,283 - We have to each find a unique rock. 204 00:09:01,350 --> 00:09:04,553 I think all rocks are unique if you feed 'em right. 205 00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:06,690 - Whoa, I think I found myself a winner. 206 00:09:06,757 --> 00:09:08,258 This is the best-looking rock out here. 207 00:09:08,323 --> 00:09:10,426 - Dude! - [yelling] 208 00:09:10,493 --> 00:09:13,196 They're stinging my eyes! Oh, the humanity! 209 00:09:13,263 --> 00:09:14,230 [yells] 210 00:09:14,297 --> 00:09:16,331 [owl hooting] 211 00:09:16,398 --> 00:09:19,101 [soft guitar music] 212 00:09:19,168 --> 00:09:21,370 - Is that raw hamburger meat? 213 00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:22,739 - Yeah, of course. 214 00:09:22,806 --> 00:09:24,573 A real Wilderness Warrior 215 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,109 doesn't need to cook their meat. 216 00:09:26,176 --> 00:09:29,144 - Well, I'm gonna go ahead and make myself some s'mores. 217 00:09:29,211 --> 00:09:32,215 It's the first step on the magical journey called puberty. 218 00:09:32,282 --> 00:09:35,418 - I always thought the first step of puberty was BO. 219 00:09:35,485 --> 00:09:38,020 - Great, my mom forgot my salt lick. 220 00:09:39,855 --> 00:09:43,025 - I've got extra hummus and crudité. Want some? 221 00:09:43,092 --> 00:09:44,695 - Hmm. 222 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,663 Take that, you hipster food! 223 00:09:49,932 --> 00:09:52,435 Ah! Mrs. Godfrey. Wait, how did you get here? 224 00:09:52,502 --> 00:09:54,537 - I've always been here. 225 00:09:54,604 --> 00:09:57,740 Well, I trust you all remembered your dinners. 226 00:09:57,807 --> 00:10:00,442 That wasn't a question, you little miscreants. 227 00:10:00,509 --> 00:10:02,378 - What did you bring, Mrs. Godfrey? 228 00:10:02,445 --> 00:10:03,980 - [chuckles] 229 00:10:04,047 --> 00:10:08,084 Years of experience killing things more defenseless than I. 230 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,754 Nature provides for seasoned campers like myself. 231 00:10:10,821 --> 00:10:13,990 - Ya-ha-hoo! - Huh, nature provides? 232 00:10:14,057 --> 00:10:15,424 [curious music] 233 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:18,794 Huh. Hmm. [laughs] 234 00:10:18,861 --> 00:10:20,629 - Where are your chaperones? 235 00:10:20,696 --> 00:10:22,798 - The tent of Nate flew to the sky, 236 00:10:22,865 --> 00:10:24,533 and they are to be looking for it. 237 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:28,138 - What? Nate Wright caused problems? 238 00:10:30,039 --> 00:10:32,075 Shocking. 239 00:10:32,142 --> 00:10:34,509 Get cooking and don't leave camp. 240 00:10:34,576 --> 00:10:36,012 There are things in the woods, 241 00:10:36,079 --> 00:10:40,182 and by things, I mean me, Godfrey. 242 00:10:40,249 --> 00:10:43,887 Ooh, I've got something. I've got something. Come on. 243 00:10:43,954 --> 00:10:45,855 - Psst. Hey, come with me, Chad. 244 00:10:45,922 --> 00:10:49,993 I have an even better dinner plan in store for us. 245 00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:53,062 - [as Julia Child] The key to this succulent salad 246 00:10:53,129 --> 00:10:57,033 is the tomato we will use for garnish 247 00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,969 And voilà! 248 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:04,007 I'm Julia Child. Thank you for watching. 249 00:11:04,073 --> 00:11:05,942 Dinner is served. 250 00:11:07,778 --> 00:11:09,578 - We're done eating, so... 251 00:11:09,644 --> 00:11:11,714 - You ate without me? 252 00:11:11,782 --> 00:11:15,485 - You were too busy doing your Julie the Child thing. 253 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:17,452 - Oh, well. 254 00:11:17,519 --> 00:11:21,023 I'm more excited about our next activity anyway, camp songs. 255 00:11:27,230 --> 00:11:29,432 - You know, I've had worse meals. 256 00:11:29,499 --> 00:11:31,734 It tastes like chicken and belt. 257 00:11:31,802 --> 00:11:34,570 Want some? [eagle caws] 258 00:11:34,637 --> 00:11:36,105 - We weren't supposed to leave camp. 259 00:11:36,172 --> 00:11:38,173 This feels like we're leaving camp. 260 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,842 I wish I had my tracking collar. 261 00:11:39,909 --> 00:11:41,576 - Would you pull it together, Chad? 262 00:11:41,643 --> 00:11:43,879 Everything's gonna be fine. Know why? 263 00:11:43,946 --> 00:11:46,548 Because I've got meat in my pants. 264 00:11:46,615 --> 00:11:49,085 - Oh, is that the style these days? 265 00:11:49,152 --> 00:11:50,787 Keeping up with fashion is so hard. 266 00:11:50,854 --> 00:11:52,989 - [stammers] Focus, Chad. 267 00:11:53,056 --> 00:11:57,226 You and I are gonna use my meat pants to bag us a beast. 268 00:11:57,293 --> 00:11:58,894 - And then s'mores? 269 00:11:58,961 --> 00:12:01,730 all: * There was an old man who gobbled a clam * 270 00:12:01,797 --> 00:12:04,067 * Why, oh, why did he gobble that clam * 271 00:12:04,134 --> 00:12:06,937 * That clam had a fam-- * - [yells] 272 00:12:07,003 --> 00:12:11,173 I'm just a poor innocent clam. 273 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,810 Why? 274 00:12:15,711 --> 00:12:18,248 Sorry, just wanted to experience the song 275 00:12:18,313 --> 00:12:19,983 from the clam's perspective. 276 00:12:20,049 --> 00:12:22,152 - Could you not? 277 00:12:22,217 --> 00:12:25,922 - Seriously, the Dee Dee Show is getting old. 278 00:12:25,989 --> 00:12:27,823 - Why? What's wrong with Dee Dee? 279 00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:30,225 all: Nothing. - That's the point. 280 00:12:30,293 --> 00:12:34,898 We wanna hang out with you, not all these rando characters. 281 00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:38,869 - Yeah. Can you just like be chill? 282 00:12:38,935 --> 00:12:42,304 - I'm chill. I can totally be chill. 283 00:12:42,371 --> 00:12:45,307 [indistinct chatter] 284 00:12:45,374 --> 00:12:47,342 [somber music] 285 00:12:47,409 --> 00:12:49,711 [suspenseful music] 286 00:12:49,778 --> 00:12:52,682 - Wait, won't this make the big beast come to me? 287 00:12:52,748 --> 00:12:54,017 - Exactly. 288 00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:55,350 And when he tries to attack you, 289 00:12:55,418 --> 00:12:57,253 I'll go at him from behind. [chuckles] 290 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,788 He'll never see me coming. Genius. 291 00:13:01,157 --> 00:13:03,793 - Oh, yeah, I'm not sure about this plan. 292 00:13:03,860 --> 00:13:05,827 - Come on, Chad. Have any of my wild 293 00:13:05,895 --> 00:13:08,730 and impulsive schemes ever put you in danger before? 294 00:13:08,797 --> 00:13:11,767 - [yelling] 295 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:14,669 [heavy metal music] 296 00:13:15,971 --> 00:13:19,142 - Nope. In fact, I have the scars to prove it. 297 00:13:19,209 --> 00:13:20,676 [cat meows] 298 00:13:20,743 --> 00:13:23,913 - [laughs] Oh, yeah. I forgot about that one. 299 00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:26,048 But great! So no matter what happens, 300 00:13:26,115 --> 00:13:28,518 just remember it's all part of the plan. 301 00:13:28,584 --> 00:13:31,187 Trust the plan. Got it? 302 00:13:31,254 --> 00:13:32,388 - Got it. 303 00:13:32,455 --> 00:13:33,489 [suspenseful music] 304 00:13:33,556 --> 00:13:34,657 - [stammers] 305 00:13:34,724 --> 00:13:36,658 Chad, don't turn around. 306 00:13:36,725 --> 00:13:37,826 - Okay. 307 00:13:37,893 --> 00:13:42,197 [bear growling] 308 00:13:46,168 --> 00:13:48,437 - It's possible my plan may need work. 309 00:13:48,504 --> 00:13:49,571 [chuckles] [bear roars] 310 00:13:49,639 --> 00:13:52,241 [screaming] 311 00:13:52,307 --> 00:13:55,378 - Ah, narcolepsy is always so rough. 312 00:13:57,746 --> 00:13:59,282 Oh, should I do something? 313 00:13:59,349 --> 00:14:01,350 I feel like I should do something. 314 00:14:01,417 --> 00:14:05,855 No, Chad, no. Nate said trust the plan. 315 00:14:07,523 --> 00:14:09,926 [peaceful music] 316 00:14:09,993 --> 00:14:11,293 [bird chirping] 317 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,297 [loud metallic clanging] 318 00:14:14,364 --> 00:14:15,865 [angry chirping] 319 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:22,105 - Rise and shine, gentleman! The day awaits. 320 00:14:22,172 --> 00:14:24,773 - [groans] 321 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,043 - Where is Nate Wright? 322 00:14:27,110 --> 00:14:28,744 - We didn't leave camp. 323 00:14:28,811 --> 00:14:31,014 He's not trying to take out a bear. 324 00:14:31,081 --> 00:14:33,349 Maybe he's pooping? 325 00:14:33,416 --> 00:14:34,783 - Galvin! Nichols! 326 00:14:34,850 --> 00:14:39,321 Get those hernia trusses on pronto, it's morning. 327 00:14:42,292 --> 00:14:43,525 - [laughs] 328 00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:46,062 Is funny because you think they are there, 329 00:14:46,129 --> 00:14:49,264 but actually, they are go to finding Nate's tent. 330 00:14:49,331 --> 00:14:50,733 - Unbelievable. 331 00:14:50,799 --> 00:14:54,037 You walking blackheads stay put. 332 00:14:54,104 --> 00:14:56,406 - Okay, seriously, dude, where's Nate? 333 00:14:56,471 --> 00:14:58,508 [mysterious music] 334 00:14:58,573 --> 00:15:01,443 - Tell no one. Trust the plan. 335 00:15:03,745 --> 00:15:06,782 - Did anyone else just hear that music right there? 336 00:15:06,849 --> 00:15:08,683 [bear roaring] 337 00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:10,653 - [sobbing] 338 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:13,056 So this is it. This is the end. 339 00:15:13,123 --> 00:15:15,524 I promise if I make it outta here alive, 340 00:15:15,591 --> 00:15:17,027 I'll never get detention again. 341 00:15:17,092 --> 00:15:19,195 I'll even be nice to Mrs. Godfrey. 342 00:15:19,262 --> 00:15:22,432 And then I'll-- hey, you know what? 343 00:15:22,498 --> 00:15:25,335 Just get me out of this mess, and then we'll discuss terms. 344 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,037 [bear roars] 345 00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:32,874 - Nichols! Galvin! Nate! 346 00:15:32,942 --> 00:15:35,010 Have you fallen into a sinkhole? 347 00:15:35,077 --> 00:15:36,745 Reveal your coordinates pronto. 348 00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:39,881 - Clara, up here! 349 00:15:39,948 --> 00:15:44,220 - Well, well. Attempted eagle egg theft, huh? 350 00:15:44,287 --> 00:15:45,654 [both chuckling] 351 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,057 Put the egg back, Wesley. 352 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,661 [eagle caws, screeches] [both yelp] 353 00:15:51,726 --> 00:15:53,428 - I just wanna go home! 354 00:15:54,797 --> 00:15:57,832 [solemn music] 355 00:15:57,899 --> 00:15:59,502 - Ugh. 356 00:16:01,903 --> 00:16:04,073 When all your magnificent personas 357 00:16:04,139 --> 00:16:07,110 have been cast aside, what's left? 358 00:16:07,177 --> 00:16:09,312 If you can't be somebody else, 359 00:16:09,379 --> 00:16:12,847 then who are you, Dee Dee Holloway? 360 00:16:12,914 --> 00:16:13,849 [music swells] [inhales deeply] 361 00:16:13,916 --> 00:16:16,251 * I-- * - Help! 362 00:16:16,318 --> 00:16:17,287 - Do I hear? 363 00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:20,422 Was that the sweet sound of drama? 364 00:16:20,490 --> 00:16:23,725 Reveal yourself, oh, panicked prisoner! 365 00:16:23,793 --> 00:16:26,895 - [squawking] 366 00:16:29,065 --> 00:16:32,000 - [squawking angrily] 367 00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:36,371 - [screeches] 368 00:16:36,438 --> 00:16:39,374 [tense music] 369 00:16:42,211 --> 00:16:44,313 - Oh, that was truly remarkable, Clara. 370 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,416 Where did you learn how to speak eagle? 371 00:16:46,481 --> 00:16:48,518 - Volunteer park ranger training. 372 00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:51,387 Resist and protect. 373 00:16:51,454 --> 00:16:53,855 - I didn't know you were a ranger. 374 00:16:53,922 --> 00:16:55,825 Guess it's our lucky day. 375 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,727 - [laughing] Yes, yes, yes. 376 00:16:58,793 --> 00:17:00,129 Also no! 377 00:17:00,196 --> 00:17:02,432 Attempting to steal an endangered eagle egg 378 00:17:02,498 --> 00:17:08,138 is a federal offense with a $100,000 minimum fine. 379 00:17:08,204 --> 00:17:10,973 - Oh no, not another bill. 380 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:13,809 - But Clara, we don't have that kind of money. 381 00:17:13,876 --> 00:17:16,379 The only reason we tried to steal the egg 382 00:17:16,446 --> 00:17:17,612 in the first place 383 00:17:17,679 --> 00:17:21,015 was to raise meager funds for the school. 384 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,119 - I'm sorry, but I must uphold 385 00:17:23,186 --> 00:17:24,853 the park ranger's oath of conduct. 386 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,488 - Surely there's something we could do. 387 00:17:26,555 --> 00:17:29,492 Some deal we could strike to make this disappear. 388 00:17:29,559 --> 00:17:32,927 - [sobbing] 389 00:17:32,994 --> 00:17:37,533 Oh, please! We'll do anything. 390 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,135 - Anything? Okay. 391 00:17:39,202 --> 00:17:41,571 But it's gonna cost you. 392 00:17:41,637 --> 00:17:43,906 [laughing] 393 00:17:47,677 --> 00:17:49,879 - [screaming] 394 00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:53,716 - Yoo-hoo! Whose yonder weeping do I hear? 395 00:17:53,783 --> 00:17:56,485 Ye, distressed one, reveal yourself! 396 00:17:56,552 --> 00:17:58,353 - Dee Dee! Is that you? Save me. 397 00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:00,456 - Ack, Nate, are you in the cave? 398 00:18:00,523 --> 00:18:03,193 'Cause there's a giant bear outside. 399 00:18:03,258 --> 00:18:06,396 - Ah, yeah. Thanks. I noticed. Do something. 400 00:18:06,462 --> 00:18:08,398 [bear growling] 401 00:18:08,464 --> 00:18:11,801 - Why didn't I research notable female bear wranglers? 402 00:18:11,867 --> 00:18:14,837 What do I do? Who can I be? 403 00:18:14,904 --> 00:18:17,239 [suspenseful music] 404 00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:18,507 [gasps] 405 00:18:18,573 --> 00:18:21,944 [yelling] 406 00:18:26,482 --> 00:18:29,619 [screaming] 407 00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:32,687 [hopeful music] 408 00:18:32,754 --> 00:18:34,523 Whoa. [laughs] 409 00:18:34,590 --> 00:18:38,060 Wait, did I just freak out a bear? 410 00:18:38,127 --> 00:18:39,728 Okay. Okay. 411 00:18:39,794 --> 00:18:42,532 What's wrong, furball? 412 00:18:42,598 --> 00:18:45,435 Am I not chill enough for you? 413 00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:51,072 Well, well, if you want chill, you've got the wrong kid! 414 00:18:51,139 --> 00:18:53,376 Pas de bourrée! Kick ball change. 415 00:18:53,443 --> 00:18:55,844 Exit stage left! 416 00:19:01,251 --> 00:19:02,452 [gasps] 417 00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:05,154 [laughs] I did it. 418 00:19:05,221 --> 00:19:10,260 I took a bear out by myself, and I did it as myself! 419 00:19:10,325 --> 00:19:11,526 Dee Dee! 420 00:19:11,593 --> 00:19:14,096 The girl who was afraid of camping! 421 00:19:14,162 --> 00:19:16,599 - Thank you. That was truly awesome. 422 00:19:16,666 --> 00:19:18,132 Please don't tell anyone about this. 423 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,435 - Are you kidding me? 424 00:19:19,502 --> 00:19:21,670 This is gonna be chapter one of my memoir. 425 00:19:21,736 --> 00:19:23,805 - [groans] 426 00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:27,943 - Ah, okay. You were right. Camping's dope. 427 00:19:28,010 --> 00:19:29,911 Wanna do a friend camping trip sometime? 428 00:19:29,978 --> 00:19:31,613 Maybe our parents can take us. 429 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,082 - Claro-que-see-you-there. - Can I come? 430 00:19:34,148 --> 00:19:35,584 - I wanna come. 431 00:19:35,650 --> 00:19:37,320 - Sure. We're all friends here. 432 00:19:39,154 --> 00:19:40,656 - [groans] [feedback squeals] 433 00:19:40,723 --> 00:19:44,593 - For demonstrating the barest minimum level of confidence, 434 00:19:44,659 --> 00:19:47,397 your Wilderness Warrior Award. 435 00:19:47,463 --> 00:19:49,965 - I won? I won! Booyah! 436 00:19:50,032 --> 00:19:51,934 The Wrights continue to dominate. 437 00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:56,004 Just call me the most awesome kid in the class. 438 00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,340 - Oh, for goodness sake, Nate. 439 00:19:57,407 --> 00:20:01,075 Please just take one and pass the rest back. 440 00:20:01,142 --> 00:20:02,244 - Uh. 441 00:20:02,312 --> 00:20:03,646 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 442 00:20:03,713 --> 00:20:07,081 Everyone gets one just for participating? 443 00:20:07,148 --> 00:20:08,684 Seriously? 444 00:20:08,751 --> 00:20:12,821 - Oh, look at this. It says I participated! 445 00:20:12,888 --> 00:20:14,122 [feedback squeals] - [clears throat] 446 00:20:14,188 --> 00:20:17,327 Our real Wilderness Warrior is Clara Godfrey, 447 00:20:17,392 --> 00:20:20,896 and that's why I'm honored to grant her tenure. 448 00:20:20,963 --> 00:20:23,098 Now she can never be fired from P.S. 38. 449 00:20:23,165 --> 00:20:25,334 Let's give her a round of applause, shall we, kids? 450 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,936 [laughs] Clara, okay. 451 00:20:27,002 --> 00:20:28,870 - That's great news. - Great. 452 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:30,406 - This is really great for our future. 453 00:20:30,473 --> 00:20:34,409 - And to think this all started when Nate Wright failed 454 00:20:34,476 --> 00:20:36,611 to stake down his tent. 455 00:20:36,678 --> 00:20:39,214 Thank you, Nate. 456 00:20:44,085 --> 00:20:46,555 - [growls] 457 00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:51,460 - Oh, look who survived. #bummed. 458 00:20:51,526 --> 00:20:53,294 - You guys totally punked me. 459 00:20:53,362 --> 00:20:55,898 Everybody gets a Wilderness Warrior Award. 460 00:20:55,965 --> 00:20:58,167 You don't have to do anything for it. 461 00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:00,034 - I know. 462 00:21:00,101 --> 00:21:02,405 - [growling] 463 00:21:02,472 --> 00:21:04,639 Dad! Da-- - Stifle it, doofus. 464 00:21:04,706 --> 00:21:07,342 Obviously, it's a bogus award, but dad doesn't know that. 465 00:21:07,409 --> 00:21:09,379 Maybe he remembers it wrong or I don't know, 466 00:21:09,445 --> 00:21:11,546 maybe he's, like, senile, but he's convinced 467 00:21:11,613 --> 00:21:14,015 that he was some sort of big winner back then, okay? 468 00:21:14,082 --> 00:21:15,885 So just shut your mouth and let him keep believing 469 00:21:15,950 --> 00:21:18,087 that we are the uber campers that he thinks he is. 470 00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:20,289 - Hey, champ, how'd the trip go? 471 00:21:20,356 --> 00:21:22,457 - Did you bring home anything for the trophy cubby? 472 00:21:22,524 --> 00:21:24,092 And if you say no, that's okay. 473 00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:25,561 I'll just hide my disappointment 474 00:21:25,628 --> 00:21:28,664 behind a wall of junk food and knock-knock jokes. 475 00:21:28,731 --> 00:21:31,166 - Yeah. Well, it turns out that-- 476 00:21:31,233 --> 00:21:35,070 [hopeful music] 477 00:21:35,137 --> 00:21:38,674 It turns out that I'm a Wilderness Warrior 478 00:21:38,741 --> 00:21:41,209 just like you guys. Whoop-a-cha! 479 00:21:41,275 --> 00:21:43,244 - [laughing, stammering] 480 00:21:43,312 --> 00:21:46,348 I wanted this. I wanted this bad for you! 481 00:21:46,416 --> 00:21:48,783 Oh, my baby boy. 482 00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:50,652 Let me unbutton my pants 483 00:21:50,719 --> 00:21:53,354 and sit down to hear all about it. 484 00:21:53,423 --> 00:21:55,256 [groans] This is amazing. 485 00:21:55,323 --> 00:21:58,460 - Yeah, yeah, everybody freaked out except me. 486 00:21:58,527 --> 00:22:01,229 So I had to protect my less awesome classmates-- 487 00:22:01,295 --> 00:22:03,398 and weapons of tree bark and trail mix. 488 00:22:03,466 --> 00:22:04,699 And then... 489 00:22:04,766 --> 00:22:05,900 - [caws] 490 00:22:10,238 --> 00:22:11,474 - * I've got a tent and no money for rent * 491 00:22:11,541 --> 00:22:12,941 * But I know where to go * 492 00:22:13,007 --> 00:22:14,677 * Camping, camping * 493 00:22:14,744 --> 00:22:16,446 * I'll eat with my hands, shovel beans from some cans * 494 00:22:16,512 --> 00:22:18,046 * Wipe my bottom with leaves * 495 00:22:18,112 --> 00:22:19,549 * Camping, camping * 496 00:22:19,614 --> 00:22:21,617 * I run out of meat or no fire for heat * 497 00:22:21,684 --> 00:22:23,351 * Gonna eat my best friend * 498 00:22:23,418 --> 00:22:24,853 * Camping, camping * 499 00:22:24,919 --> 00:22:27,055 * Saw a lizard today drinking café au lait * 500 00:22:27,121 --> 00:22:28,591 * Am I losing my mind? * 501 00:22:28,658 --> 00:22:30,258 * Camping, camping * 502 00:22:30,324 --> 00:22:31,927 * Camping, no camping, yes camping, why camping * 503 00:22:31,994 --> 00:22:34,429 * Maybe some glamping but isn't that camping? *