- [snoring]
[yawns]
Ooh-ooh. Ahh.
[yawns]
Huh?
Ahh.
[upbeat music]
- ♪ Don't want to go to school today ♪
♪ The sun is red hot and I wanna play ♪
♪ But if I get caught they'll make me pay ♪
♪ Detention again ♪
- ♪ Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- ♪ Math and social studies just ain't my thing ♪
- ♪ Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- ♪ Rocking with my band is where I'm king ♪
♪ Stealing the teacher's teeth or bailing on a test ♪
- ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ Big Nate ♪
[loud clang]
[loud crash]
- Oh, this is bad.
This is like World War III
wrapped in a zombie apocalypse bad.
- He, dork, get out of the bathroom.
[gasps] Wha-wh-wh-what?
Oh, man. And you call me the zit queen?
[laughs] - Oh, shut your pipe, Ellen.
I have this totally under control.
Oh, what do I do? If I show up to school
with this thing, I'm gonna be shamed,
mocked, laughed at.
Oh, how they'll laugh.
There's only one thing for me to do.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Popping it's only gonna make it a million times worse.
I should know, I am the zit queen.
[cackling]
- A million times worse?
What did old cackle pants mean by that?
Will my pimple seek revenge?
- [roars] - Ahh!
Will it become an unstoppable mega pimple blob?
- [cackling]
- Will it mean...the end?
- He was so young.
- Uh, you know what?
I think I better just trust Ellen on this one.
After all, she is the zit queen.
And hey, maybe no one will notice.
[bell rings]
- And that's why a hot dog is definitely a sandwich.
- Pimple.
- I can always depend on you, Dee Dee.
- Oh, that is one honkin' zit. Can I touch it?
- What? No. - Does it hurt?
- I mean, not really.
- Do you feel different? Like, more mature?
One step closer to manhood? Spill it.
- No. Geez, you guys, come on.
Am I the first one in our group to get a pimple?
[ethereal music]
Guess so.
- Oh, hey, Nate. Cool prosthetic pimple.
- Chad, it's real.
- Oh, no kidding. You should get a good photo of that.
I always catalog the good ones.
Ahh, memories.
Ahh.
- Ugh, can we please move on?
- I got bigger problems than pimples.
I think I really flubbed my science test.
- What happened? I thought you studied.
- Well, yeah, I was going to study,
but I had to help Uncle Pedro train ferrets
for his rodent circus.
Didn't have the heart to tell him ferrets aren't rodents.
- You know, who is a rodent? My drama teacher, Dr. LaGaze.
He keeps casting me in smaller and smaller roles.
This semester I'm playing the role of the Seaweed
in "Death of a Sailorman."
The Seaweed. Talk about talent wasted.
- Uh, yeah. - Hey, Nate,
is that Jenny over there?
- What? Where? My love! My goddess!
- Ooh... - No!
- Please, Nate, I've been fascinated with pimples
since I was a baby. Just let me touch it.
- You're gonna draw more attention to it.
- Mighty fine pimple there, Nate.
- Aww, Nate-Nate's got a pimpie.
[laughs]
- Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
- Got you. [laughs]
- I feel personally violated.
[bird cawing]
- And action. - Look at me, Father.
Your boy is a sailorman. Thighs saddled in brine.
I married an oyster all so once
you'd say, "I love you, my sailor boy."
- Bravo, Randall. Bravo.
Now that is what I call...
Ugh! Augh! Ahh!
[groaning]
Acting.
- But he wasn't showing any emotion.
- Emotions are for babies and poets.
We are actors.
All we have to remember is our Dramatic Produce.
Observe.
The onion. Oh, oh, tragedy.
My dog has run away.
The banana.
Oh, joy. My dog has returned.
The tomato.
Oh, agony. - [screams]
- He's just bitten my leg.
[bell rings]
Mmm, the flavor. As life imitates art,
so too shall I have tomato soup for lunch.
- Hi. Mr. LaGaze?
- Please. I have a doctorate in Dramatic Produce.
- Sorry, Doctor...LaGaze.
I had some questions about my character, The Seaweed?
- Go on. I'm sort of listening.
- What's her backstory?
Is she aware of ocean acidification
and the havoc it's playing on coral reefs?
And how does she feel about the Sailorman?
- You're a seaweed, Dee Dee.
You're slimy and green, and nobody likes you.
Oh, and you go like this...
[babbling]
- [groans]
- I'm not really sure what I'm eating,
but I think maybe it's a bean?
- Izzit? Ooh.
I said "zit," didn't I? I'm sorry, Nate.
I didn't mean to call attention to your ginormous pimple.
- Ugh. That's okay, Chad.
- Here, Nate, try some beans. I insist.
No, not cyst. I was trying to say--help me out, Dee Dee.
What was I trying to say?
- Blackhead. - No.
- Pustule. - I give up.
- Well, according to Dr. LaGaze,
I have nothing to say,
so I don't even know why you asked me.
- Guys, guys, guys. It's a dang miracle.
I got an A on my science test.
All because I touched your zit. You've got a lucky pimple, man.
- Come on, Teddy. That's ridiculous.
A pimple can't be lucky.
- Ooh, let me try it. Come on, lady luck.
[ethereal music]
Ugh. See, I'm still a seaw--
- Silence.
I have an announcement to make. I'm taking a leave of absence.
Hollywood called. I got a smashing role
in a hit science fiction movie franchise.
I'm so happy I could cry.
Oh, the pain.
Farewell, my former students and less-talented colleagues.
Good luck with the rest of your humdrum lives.
I'm catching the glory train to Legendville.
I'm fine. Just a little onion blindness.
- Is it a mere coincidence that Dee Dee touched my pimple
and now her blowhard drama teacher's going away?
Ha-ha, I think not.
Sooner or later awesomeness always hits its mark.
Gang, me and this lucky pimple are gonna change the world.
[Peter Gabriel's "Big Time"]
- ♪ I'm on my way I'm making it ♪
Francis, my man. Talk to me. What do we got?
- As of now, you have one pimple booking at recess.
A sixth grader's hamster ran away. She's desperate.
- Good work, Francis. Teddy, grease me.
- ♪ Big time ♪
- ♪ Look at my circumstance ♪
- Hmm.
- ♪ Big time ♪
- All right, Dee Dee, how's the drama outreach going?
- I'm on it.
- That's what I like to hear. - Hmm.
- All right, let's go out there and spread the good word.
- ♪ Big big big ♪
- Come one, come all. See it for your own eyes.
Be amazed by Nate Wright's freaky-deaky lucky pimple.
- A lucky pimple?
- I was once a skeptic like you,
but it's the real deal, my friend.
And now that Dr. LaGaze is gone--
- Okay, class, please take a seat.
I'm your new substitute drama teacher.
- She's just a substitute teacher. Let's pack it up.
- Oh, sorry.
- Don't ever apologize for being overly dramatic.
- Hmm.
- I'm Donna.
[dramatic music]
D stands for drama. O stands for obsession.
N stands for nurture.
The other N also stands for nurture.
The A stands for--anyway,
what have you guys been doing in class?
- We're supposed to be rehearsing for
"Death of a Sailorman."
- You mean Salesman?
- No. It's a play our old drama teacher wrote.
- Really? Can I see the script?
Hmm.
- Oh! - Huh?
- I'm sure whatever's happening in your own lives
is much more interesting than what's in that script.
I learned that when I did my one-woman play,
"The Donnalogues," on Broadway.
- You were on Broadway?
- Yes, but I left it all behind to pursue my real passion.
Being a substitute drama teacher.
Now, I want to hear from you all.
Tell me something that happened yesterday that moved you.
- I crushed a bug.
- And how did that make you feel?
- Powerful. - Okay. Thank you...
- Randy. Or Rad-Sauce. Or Randman.
- Of course. Anyone else?
- My former drama teacher told me
that I was slimy and green and that nobody liked me.
- And how did that make you feel?
- Like that bug that Randy-- - Rad-Sauce.
- That Rad-Sauce crushed. I felt stepped on.
It made me want to scream.
- So why don't you?
- [inhales]
Ahh!
[birds chirping]
[loud explosion]
[birds chirping]
Thank you...
- Dee Dee. The name's Dee Dee.
- Class, I want you all
to recognize Dee Dee's bravery here today.
[applause and groaning]
- Ohh.
- Huh? [loud rumbling]
- Nate! Nate!
The new drama teacher's amazing.
She did this dance
and had a show on Broadway, and she thinks--
- Whoa, whoa. Okay. Dee Dee, Dee Dee. Slow it down.
- Thinks...
I'm...brave--
- You know, in hindsight, I should have been much more
specific about my instructions.
[loud rumbling]
- Nate Wright?
- That's me.
- I touched your pimple this morning, and...
Mr. Squiggles came back to me. Did you hear that?
Nate Wright's pimple brought my hamster back.
Well, what do you have to say for yourself, Nate Wright?
- Uh, blessed be the pimple?
- Blessed be the pimple.
Blessed be Nate Wright.
[together] Blessed be the pimple.
Blessed be Nate Wright.
Blessed be the pimple.
- Steppeth uppeth and receive the promise of the pimple.
- Ohm.
- I tried to cut my own hair, and this is what happened.
Now I'll never get a girlfriend.
- Ah, that's for the pimple to decide.
- Ohh, hee-hee.
- Oh, hey, trendsetter.
Hot haircut. Wanna cut my hair later?
- Nate, my leg is busted, and championship game is next week.
- Ah, yes, the great pimple has heard you.
[dramatic music]
[upbeat music]
- By the power of the pimple,
I shall become the ultimate soccer player.
Hiya!
- Heads-up.
- Ugh!
All good.
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
- Hmm.
- Nate, here's the bottom line. I got a tip on some
monkey-powered windmills, and, well...heh-heh-heh.
- [blowing]
[loud explosion]
[monkeys screeching]
I'm broke. I just need one big score
to get me back on my feet.
Let me touch your pimple,
and I promise you'll never have to go to detention
for the rest of your life.
[ethereal music]
[Peter Gabriel's "Big Time"]
- ♪ I'm on my way I'm making it ♪
- Thank you, Nate Wright.
Because of you, my baby can walk.
[baby giggling]
- ♪ I've got to make it show yeah ♪
- Aren't babies supposed to walk at this age?
- Show some respect for the pimple, Howard.
[baby pooping]
- ♪ Big time ♪
- ♪ Look at my circumstance ♪
- Pimple merch, pimple merch here.
Get it before it pops.
- ♪ Big big big big ♪
♪ Big big big big big big ♪
- Why isn't this zit working?
- Ah, you can't force awesomeness, fellas.
- It was the summer of my sixth year.
I remember the smell of hydrangeas.
My parents were having a yard sale, and I was asked
to get rid of some of my stuffed animals.
A child should never have to make such a choice.
I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
Charlie the Penguin was gone,
and I was left with an empty space on my comforter.
[applause] - [sobbing
[blows]
- I always thought I should be a leading man.
- Uh, Dee Dee. Hang back a minute.
I have something for you.
- What's this?
- Dee Dee, I think you've got a real gift.
Keep practicing your craft
and you might just find the actor inside the actor
inside the person inside the person in you.
Mmm.
You know, I can eat all the greasy fast food I want.
Yeah. It just makes the pimple more powerful.
[laughter]
- [spits]
Nate, what are you doing?
- I'm just spending some quality time with my fans.
[together] Aww.
- Oh, yeah. Well, are they here for you
or for your pimple?
- [coughs]
Jealous. So painfully jealous. Sorry.
I had something in my throat. I was saying you're jealous.
[dramatic music]
- Don't let that pimple write a check
that your butt can't cash.
- Ew. Remove her.
- No. You can't do this to me.
I'm the zit queen.
- Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom.
[slurping]
[burps]
- Okay. Dee Dee. Be cool. Be cool.
[knocks]
- Dee Dee. What a lovely surprise.
- I found your address in the Substitute Teacher pages.
- Oh, who's your little friend, Donna?
- Oh, how rude of me. This is Kathleen, my wife.
[upbeat music]
[cat meowing]
♪ ♪
[dolphin screeching]
[wind chime jangles]
- Hi, Dee Dee. Don, is this
the talented young actress you've been telling me about?
- It certainly is.
- Oh, well, sorry to just show up at your house like this,
but I had some questions about this book.
- As dedicated as I thought you were.
Come in. Come in. I'll make some tea.
[laughter]
- You're so wise, Nate.
I can't believe you're only in sixth grade.
- You know, you're not the first seventh grade girl
to tell me that this week.
Fly away, little birdies.
Daddy got some business.
[clears throat] Hey, Jenny,
would you like to, uh, touch my pimple?
[record needle scratches]
- Hey, give me a touch.
- Gross. Ew.
- No, Jenny, wait.
Uh, you okay up there, buddy?
- Nate. - Ahh!
- How could you do this to me?
- What? What are you talking about, Teddy?
- Because of that A I got on my science test,
I'm being sent to a gifted summer school
for exceptional children. I'm not exceptional or gifted.
- Well, now you're just stating the obvious.
None of that is my fault.
- It's all your fault.
I should have never touched your pimple.
This isn't my hamster at all. My parents lied to me...
if they are even my parents.
My whole life has been a lie.
- Ohh...ahh!
- You, Nate Wright. My leg was still broken.
Now I'm gonna have to wear this huge cast until I'm 40.
And then they're gonna have to stretch my leg
for another 10 years to get it to match my other leg.
My soccer career is over.
- Do you know how hard it is to maintain this bad haircut?
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh! Do you?
- Ahh! Ugh!
- Thanks to you and your fraudulent pimple,
my big score didn't pay off, and now I gotta skip town
before some very angry monkeys tear my face off.
[monkeys screeching]
Detention every day for the rest of your life, Nate.
Do you hear me? The rest of your life.
- Pimple, pimple, why hast thou forsaken me?
- So I realized I'm less of a Todd and more of a Kyle.
I'm legally having my name changed.
[laughter]
- Things sure are going to be different now
that Dr. LaGaze is gone.
- I'm back.
- No!
- You know, I can hear you, Dee Dee.
- What happened to your movie?
- Creative differences, my dear.
Those Hollywood amateurs didn't understand my genius.
- Tell me all of your time-traveling secrets,
Time Disruptors, before I Evil Thomas Edison
conduct electricity through you.
- Cut. [bell rings]
Hey, does anyone else smell bananas?
- We'll start right where we left off.
Everyone, take out your "Death of a Sailorman" scripts.
- We threw them away. - What? Who? Where? When? Why?
- Because it was hacky and uninspired.
We want something real.
[cheers and applause]
- Enough of this codswallop. Take out your dramatic produce.
Ouch. Ouch. Ooh.
[all shouting]
- Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop.
Look, everybody, I'm sorry your luck changed.
I am. But don't blame me. Blame the pimple.
- You heard the boy. Destroy that pimple.
- But how do you destroy a pimple?
- Duh. You pop it.
- Ahh!
What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?
Where am I gonna go?
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
- My baby reverted back to crawling.
Look at this. Pathetic.
- Hold still.
This will only hurt a bit...I think.
- Ahh! Ahh!
- Nate, in here.
- Oh, Teddy, I can't thank you enough.
It is super scary out there.
[stammering]
What are you doing?
- Sorry, brother.
I can't go to that lame summer camp for brainiacs.
I'm not cut out for that kind of time.
He's in here, guys.
- [exhales]
Et tu, Tede?
- [gasps]
[all gasp]
- [snickers]
- Don't do it, Nate.
- Uh, yeah, I'm gonna do it.
Oh, hey, kids. Don't worry.
That green gas is non-toxic and humanely sourced
from organic gas farms.
[chuckling]
Zora, what's up? I thought we were good.
- Nobody use Zora pizza as acne cream.
- [gasping]
Ahh!
Ugh! - No!
- Wait. Why are you helping me?
Didn't your awful drama teacher who you hated come back?
- He did, but because of Donna
I was finally able to stand up to him.
Come on, let's go.
- Wait, who's Donna?
- It'll all be covered in my new one-woman play,
"Dee Dee's Detours."
He went that a-way, fellers.
- Hey, wait, this is just a wall.
There he is.
[together] Get him! There he is! Get him!
- Look, I know this seems a little extreme,
but if I let these maniacs pop my pimple,
Ellen said something terrible's gonna happen.
Oh.
- Give up, Nate Wright. - [gasps]
- Oh, hi, Nate. Sorry I'm late for the angry mob.
- Surrender your pimple, and we can end this silly,
legally troubling game.
- Hey, move aside. Make way, beef heads.
Big sister coming through. Get away from my brother.
- Ellen? - Why, it's Ellen Wright,
the most exemplary student to ever grace P.S. 38's halls.
- Look at all of you. You've turned into savages.
And over what? A pimple.
I used to let pimples run my life,
make me feel like a loser and a freak,
until I realized that I was more than my pimples.
Yes, this so-called "lucky pimple"
turned my idiot brother into an even bigger idiot,
but who hasn't had their own inner-pimple demons to conquer?
They don't call them "The devil's face mushrooms"
for nothing.
[uplifting music]
And furthermore,
if anyone is going to pop this dweeb's pimple, it's me.
[dramatic music]
- No. No. No!
♪ ♪
- Ahh! Ahh!
♪ ♪
- Whoa, nothing bad happened?
- I was just messing with you, dork.
The things I do for this family.
- And so I learned that fame is fleeting.
One day you're a famous pimple shaman,
the next day, eh, you're just an ordinary--
[gasps] I got another one.
This time I think I'm gonna charge.