1 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:03,647 [rock music] 2 00:00:03,714 --> 00:00:06,283 - Are you a fan of Beardy Yum Yums? 3 00:00:06,350 --> 00:00:08,085 all: Yeah! - Well, too bad, 4 00:00:08,152 --> 00:00:11,122 because there's a new snack favorite in town. 5 00:00:11,188 --> 00:00:12,523 Introducing 6 00:00:12,589 --> 00:00:13,890 the new and improved 7 00:00:13,957 --> 00:00:16,127 Flavor Blasted Beardy Yum Yums-- 8 00:00:16,192 --> 00:00:19,963 now with twice the flavor and twice the beard! 9 00:00:20,030 --> 00:00:22,666 And for the first time, the Eew Corporation 10 00:00:22,733 --> 00:00:27,037 has made their delicious beard snack 100% organic! 11 00:00:27,104 --> 00:00:28,972 - Organic power! 12 00:00:29,039 --> 00:00:31,375 * * 13 00:00:31,442 --> 00:00:32,676 all: Ah! 14 00:00:32,743 --> 00:00:34,511 - Made from sustainable ingredients, 15 00:00:34,578 --> 00:00:36,680 Organic Flavor Blasted Beardy Yum Yums 16 00:00:36,747 --> 00:00:39,082 are a healthy alternative that can be eaten 17 00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:43,420 whenever and wherever the urge hits you. 18 00:00:43,487 --> 00:00:46,190 [medical device beeping] 19 00:00:46,257 --> 00:00:47,691 - After a ten-hour surgery, 20 00:00:47,758 --> 00:00:49,393 I can sure use a pick-me-up. 21 00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:51,562 [chips crunch] Thanks, Eew Corp. 22 00:00:51,628 --> 00:00:53,964 - When you're a long way from home, it's nice to know 23 00:00:54,030 --> 00:00:56,167 there's a healthy snack you can count on. 24 00:00:56,233 --> 00:00:58,902 Thanks, Eew Corp. 25 00:00:58,969 --> 00:01:00,371 Ah-- [screams] 26 00:01:00,437 --> 00:01:02,839 - Organic Flavor Blasted Beardy Yum Yums, 27 00:01:02,906 --> 00:01:04,541 the nourishing beard treat 28 00:01:04,608 --> 00:01:06,510 the whole family can enjoy. 29 00:01:06,577 --> 00:01:09,813 all: Mmm! That's good beard! 30 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,648 Only available in Eew Corporation-branded 31 00:01:11,715 --> 00:01:13,450 vending machines. Demand your office, school, 32 00:01:13,517 --> 00:01:14,718 fitness center or local hospital 33 00:01:14,785 --> 00:01:15,786 install one today! 34 00:01:15,852 --> 00:01:17,721 - [laughs] This is it! 35 00:01:17,788 --> 00:01:19,256 This is how I will be remembered! 36 00:01:19,323 --> 00:01:23,026 I will bring Organic Flavor Blasted Beardy Yum Yums 37 00:01:23,093 --> 00:01:24,495 to PS 38! 38 00:01:24,561 --> 00:01:26,963 This is my legacy! 39 00:01:27,030 --> 00:01:29,132 [upbeat music] 40 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,735 - * Don't want to go to school today * 41 00:01:31,802 --> 00:01:34,271 * The sun is red hot, and I wanna play * 42 00:01:34,338 --> 00:01:37,107 * But if I get caught they'll make me pay * 43 00:01:37,174 --> 00:01:38,709 * Detention again * 44 00:01:38,775 --> 00:01:40,211 - * Big Nate, Big Nate * 45 00:01:40,277 --> 00:01:41,645 - * Math and social studies just ain't my thing * 46 00:01:41,712 --> 00:01:43,046 - * Big Nate, Big Nate * 47 00:01:43,113 --> 00:01:44,948 - * Rocking with my band is where I'm king * 48 00:01:45,015 --> 00:01:50,421 * Stealing the teacher's teeth or bailing on a test * 49 00:01:50,487 --> 00:01:52,522 - * Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh * 50 00:01:52,588 --> 00:01:53,957 * Big Nate! * 51 00:01:54,024 --> 00:01:55,426 [loud clang] 52 00:01:55,492 --> 00:01:57,060 [loud crash] 53 00:01:58,862 --> 00:02:03,166 - Principal Nichols, PS 38 deserves a new snack machine, 54 00:02:03,234 --> 00:02:04,635 something we can be proud of, 55 00:02:04,701 --> 00:02:06,803 filled with wholesome, organic snacks, 56 00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:08,739 like our forefathers intended. 57 00:02:08,805 --> 00:02:10,474 - Nate, I appreciate your passion, 58 00:02:10,540 --> 00:02:12,376 but we already have a snack machine. 59 00:02:12,443 --> 00:02:13,644 - You mean Old Hank? 60 00:02:15,346 --> 00:02:18,682 - Wah, it's piercing my skin! 61 00:02:18,749 --> 00:02:21,652 [suspenseful music] 62 00:02:21,718 --> 00:02:24,888 [machine munches] 63 00:02:24,955 --> 00:02:26,357 - [screams] 64 00:02:26,423 --> 00:02:28,625 - Come on, you stupid pile of junk. 65 00:02:28,692 --> 00:02:30,494 Give me my Crab Doodles! 66 00:02:30,561 --> 00:02:31,662 [machine rattles] 67 00:02:33,896 --> 00:02:36,032 - Please! A new snack machine 68 00:02:36,098 --> 00:02:37,501 could be my legacy! 69 00:02:37,568 --> 00:02:40,103 - Son, your legacy will be the butt print you've left 70 00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:42,306 on your favorite chair in the detention room. 71 00:02:42,372 --> 00:02:44,541 - True, my butt is legendary. 72 00:02:44,608 --> 00:02:46,643 But I'm talking about what I wanna leave behind 73 00:02:46,710 --> 00:02:48,379 for the school, for the children, 74 00:02:48,445 --> 00:02:50,414 for all mankind. 75 00:02:50,481 --> 00:02:53,016 - Nate, I'm a week away from renting our soccer field 76 00:02:53,083 --> 00:02:54,418 to grazing cattle. 77 00:02:54,485 --> 00:02:56,853 We simply can't afford a fancy new snack machine. 78 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,222 - What if I could raise the money? 79 00:02:59,290 --> 00:03:01,091 - Hmm... 80 00:03:01,157 --> 00:03:03,460 [all cheering] - Students of PS 38! 81 00:03:03,527 --> 00:03:05,228 Teachers, friends! 82 00:03:05,296 --> 00:03:06,697 and Gina. - [grunts] 83 00:03:06,763 --> 00:03:10,033 - Too long have we suffered under the yolk of tyranny 84 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,536 known as Old Hank. 85 00:03:12,603 --> 00:03:15,639 - [scoffs] Old Hank gave me coin acne! 86 00:03:15,706 --> 00:03:17,874 - Old Hank ate my favorite hand! 87 00:03:17,941 --> 00:03:20,811 - Old Hank put my parents in prison! 88 00:03:20,877 --> 00:03:21,878 [record scratch] Sorry, what rally 89 00:03:21,945 --> 00:03:23,914 is this again? - I say to you 90 00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:26,583 that a proper snack machine is not just a privilege, 91 00:03:26,650 --> 00:03:28,985 but a right! That is why I, Nate Wright, 92 00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:31,521 have decided to make an Eew Corp-branded 93 00:03:31,588 --> 00:03:33,390 state-of-the-art snack machine 94 00:03:33,457 --> 00:03:37,461 filled with healthy Organic Flavor Blasted Beardy Yum Yums 95 00:03:37,528 --> 00:03:40,331 my legacy at PS 38! 96 00:03:40,396 --> 00:03:44,134 [all cheer] 97 00:03:44,199 --> 00:03:45,134 - Stop! 98 00:03:45,201 --> 00:03:46,503 Stop this fraud! 99 00:03:46,570 --> 00:03:48,204 all: Aw. - Nate Wright, 100 00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:50,441 you claim these snacks are healthy, 101 00:03:50,507 --> 00:03:53,109 but have you even read the ingredients? 102 00:03:53,176 --> 00:03:54,811 - I don't need to, okay? 103 00:03:54,878 --> 00:03:56,279 It says right on the package, "Organic," 104 00:03:56,347 --> 00:03:59,015 which means it's true. That's the law. 105 00:03:59,082 --> 00:04:00,116 [all cheer] 106 00:04:00,183 --> 00:04:02,052 - Companies don't lie! 107 00:04:02,118 --> 00:04:03,420 - Yeah, heretic! 108 00:04:03,487 --> 00:04:04,621 - Stop! 109 00:04:04,688 --> 00:04:08,359 Open your eyes, you pinhead! 110 00:04:08,425 --> 00:04:09,493 Ah! 111 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:10,827 - The road to snacking bliss 112 00:04:10,894 --> 00:04:12,729 will not come without a cost! 113 00:04:12,796 --> 00:04:14,565 6,000 bucks, actually. 114 00:04:14,631 --> 00:04:16,032 Fortunately, I, Nate Wright, 115 00:04:16,098 --> 00:04:18,401 have devised a plan to raise the money. 116 00:04:18,469 --> 00:04:21,437 All right, now, let's get out there and make my legacy 117 00:04:21,505 --> 00:04:24,040 a reality! Montage time. 118 00:04:24,107 --> 00:04:25,976 - * 'Cause I'm on top of the world, hey! * 119 00:04:26,042 --> 00:04:26,977 [laughter] 120 00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:28,745 - Oh. 121 00:04:28,812 --> 00:04:31,415 - The dream always begins the same-- 122 00:04:31,482 --> 00:04:32,749 I'm on a trampoline-- 123 00:04:32,816 --> 00:04:34,585 [both scream] 124 00:04:34,651 --> 00:04:36,252 - [chuckles nervously] Bye. 125 00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,789 - [grunts] Problems with mother begin 126 00:04:38,855 --> 00:04:42,493 begin shortly after I arrived from her womb. 127 00:04:42,559 --> 00:04:43,960 [register dings] 128 00:04:44,027 --> 00:04:45,362 - * And I know it's hard * 129 00:04:45,429 --> 00:04:47,798 - [screaming] 130 00:04:47,864 --> 00:04:48,899 [register dings] 131 00:04:48,965 --> 00:04:51,034 - * Get up now, get up * 132 00:04:51,101 --> 00:04:52,569 [rooster clucks] 133 00:04:52,636 --> 00:04:53,937 - [snickers] 134 00:04:54,004 --> 00:04:55,205 - Shame. 135 00:04:55,271 --> 00:04:57,107 Shame. 136 00:04:57,173 --> 00:04:58,308 Shame! 137 00:04:58,375 --> 00:04:59,610 - Adios, old timer! 138 00:04:59,676 --> 00:05:01,445 - Snack you later, loser! 139 00:05:01,512 --> 00:05:02,713 - Don't let the door hit ya 140 00:05:02,779 --> 00:05:04,781 where your manufacturer split ya! 141 00:05:04,848 --> 00:05:07,784 all: Ooh! Ah! 142 00:05:07,851 --> 00:05:10,787 [majestic music] 143 00:05:10,854 --> 00:05:12,022 * * 144 00:05:12,088 --> 00:05:13,490 Wow! 145 00:05:13,557 --> 00:05:14,691 - Pretty awesome, Nate. 146 00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:16,092 Proud of you. - Me too. 147 00:05:16,159 --> 00:05:18,128 Nate Wright committing a selfless act is... 148 00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:20,431 - It's a stinking miracle, bro! That's what it is. 149 00:05:20,497 --> 00:05:21,998 - Like heaven opened up 150 00:05:22,065 --> 00:05:24,167 and said, "Eat me." [giggles] 151 00:05:24,234 --> 00:05:26,169 - Thanks, guys. Ah, what can I say? 152 00:05:26,236 --> 00:05:28,138 I'm a giver. It's who I am. 153 00:05:28,204 --> 00:05:29,139 It's what I do. 154 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:31,575 * * 155 00:05:31,642 --> 00:05:34,310 [all cheering] 156 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,513 all: Ooh! 157 00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:38,181 Ah... 158 00:05:38,248 --> 00:05:39,215 - Nate Wright, 159 00:05:39,282 --> 00:05:40,784 since you are responsible 160 00:05:40,851 --> 00:05:43,019 for this marvelous snacking technology, 161 00:05:43,086 --> 00:05:44,488 I think it's only fair-- - [gasps] 162 00:05:44,555 --> 00:05:46,222 - If you get the first bag. 163 00:05:46,289 --> 00:05:47,924 [coin shings] 164 00:05:47,991 --> 00:05:49,192 - Don't mind if I do. 165 00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:53,530 [machine beeping] 166 00:05:53,597 --> 00:05:55,666 - Beardy... both: Yum Yums. 167 00:05:55,732 --> 00:05:57,000 - [gasps] [inhales] 168 00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:58,034 [sighs] 169 00:05:58,101 --> 00:05:58,969 - Stop! [record scratches] 170 00:05:59,035 --> 00:06:00,403 - [groans] Not again. 171 00:06:00,471 --> 00:06:03,440 - Principal Nichols, a snack machine full of junk food 172 00:06:03,507 --> 00:06:04,941 is in direct violation 173 00:06:05,008 --> 00:06:07,511 of PS 38's charter. 174 00:06:07,578 --> 00:06:10,113 - This is clearly your handwriting on toilet paper, 175 00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:13,684 Gina, and I hope this is brown ink. 176 00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:16,753 - [grunts] Open your eyes, sheeple! 177 00:06:16,820 --> 00:06:18,922 Mr. Galvin, you're the science teacher. 178 00:06:18,989 --> 00:06:21,124 You know how dangerous these snacks can be. 179 00:06:21,191 --> 00:06:22,593 Tell them! 180 00:06:22,659 --> 00:06:26,062 - I--I need more data... 181 00:06:26,129 --> 00:06:27,564 - I think we've heard enough. 182 00:06:27,631 --> 00:06:29,099 Remove the disbeliever! 183 00:06:29,165 --> 00:06:30,333 [all boo] - [screams] 184 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,002 Twice in one day! 185 00:06:32,068 --> 00:06:34,404 Why does this keep happening to me? 186 00:06:34,471 --> 00:06:35,939 [grunts] [all cheer] 187 00:06:36,006 --> 00:06:37,373 - All right, now, where were we? 188 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,910 [laughs] Oh, yeah. 189 00:06:39,976 --> 00:06:42,012 [munching] Mmm, mmm. 190 00:06:42,077 --> 00:06:43,514 - Well? Come on, Nate. 191 00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:44,715 Tell us how it is. 192 00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:47,518 - [munches] Oh, it is so good--mmm. 193 00:06:47,584 --> 00:06:48,719 You know, it's... 194 00:06:49,653 --> 00:06:50,987 [all gasp] 195 00:06:51,054 --> 00:06:54,825 [weakly] What's happening? 196 00:06:58,795 --> 00:06:59,896 - It's a classic allergic reaction, 197 00:06:59,963 --> 00:07:01,164 no doubt, caused by 198 00:07:01,231 --> 00:07:02,966 the new organic flavor blasting 199 00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:04,300 on the Beardy Yum Yums. 200 00:07:04,367 --> 00:07:06,603 Shame, we just got an Eew Corp snack machine 201 00:07:06,670 --> 00:07:08,204 full of them at hospital. 202 00:07:08,271 --> 00:07:10,507 They are truly delicious and healthy. 203 00:07:10,574 --> 00:07:11,975 It says so right on the packaging. 204 00:07:12,042 --> 00:07:14,511 - His face won't look like that permanently, will it? 205 00:07:14,578 --> 00:07:16,279 'Cause it's kind of gross. 206 00:07:16,346 --> 00:07:17,548 - [groans] 207 00:07:17,614 --> 00:07:19,382 - No, no. Nate will be fine 208 00:07:19,449 --> 00:07:20,851 in a few days, but 209 00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:23,253 no more Organic Flavor Blasted Beardy Yum Yums, 210 00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:24,420 all right, young man? 211 00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,122 Who knows what kind of reaction 212 00:07:26,189 --> 00:07:27,290 you could have next time. 213 00:07:27,357 --> 00:07:30,493 - [groaning] 214 00:07:33,096 --> 00:07:34,364 [striking dramatic tones] 215 00:07:34,430 --> 00:07:36,533 [rooster crows] 216 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,401 [alarm clock rings] 217 00:07:38,468 --> 00:07:39,402 [frog croaks] [glass shatters] 218 00:07:39,469 --> 00:07:41,371 [dramatic music] 219 00:07:41,437 --> 00:07:42,673 - [whimpers] [gasps] 220 00:07:42,739 --> 00:07:44,007 [laughs] 221 00:07:44,074 --> 00:07:47,544 Okay, so things didn't exactly go as planned, 222 00:07:47,611 --> 00:07:49,212 but the school did get a new snack machine, 223 00:07:49,279 --> 00:07:50,847 thanks to yours truly. 224 00:07:50,914 --> 00:07:53,049 [chuckles] Yup, that's my legacy-- 225 00:07:53,116 --> 00:07:54,785 wouldn't be surprised if the school gives me 226 00:07:54,851 --> 00:07:58,254 some kind of award, like a big fancy trophy that says-- 227 00:07:58,321 --> 00:07:59,590 [gasps] 228 00:07:59,656 --> 00:08:01,992 [all munching] What? 229 00:08:03,193 --> 00:08:04,127 [gasps] 230 00:08:04,194 --> 00:08:07,163 [all munching] 231 00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:10,133 [eerie music] 232 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:14,470 * * 233 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,006 Hey, guys. [all munching] 234 00:08:16,072 --> 00:08:17,574 Huh? 235 00:08:17,641 --> 00:08:19,342 - Oh, welcome back, stranger. 236 00:08:19,409 --> 00:08:20,744 Mmm. - I see everyone's enjoying 237 00:08:20,811 --> 00:08:22,212 the new snacks I got them-- 238 00:08:22,278 --> 00:08:24,080 everyone but me. 239 00:08:24,147 --> 00:08:25,481 - Amazing. - Oh, yeah. 240 00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:27,450 - The best thing I ever tasted. - Game changer. 241 00:08:27,517 --> 00:08:29,285 - Francis, you too? 242 00:08:29,352 --> 00:08:30,687 I thought you hated Beardy Yum Yums. 243 00:08:30,754 --> 00:08:32,889 - I did, but not anymore! 244 00:08:32,956 --> 00:08:34,791 These are amazing! 245 00:08:34,858 --> 00:08:36,192 It must be because they're organic. 246 00:08:36,259 --> 00:08:39,195 Oh, I love being healthy! 247 00:08:39,262 --> 00:08:40,931 [all munching] 248 00:08:40,996 --> 00:08:42,398 [school bell rings] 249 00:08:42,465 --> 00:08:44,801 [all munching] 250 00:08:44,868 --> 00:08:46,737 - E--e--excuse me, Mrs. Godfrey? 251 00:08:46,803 --> 00:08:49,606 Isn't there a no-eating-only-learning policy 252 00:08:49,673 --> 00:08:51,775 in your room? - Oh, yes. 253 00:08:51,842 --> 00:08:54,778 There used to be, but a brain can't live on learning alone, 254 00:08:54,845 --> 00:08:56,212 my good lad. [munches] 255 00:08:56,279 --> 00:08:58,448 Sometimes, it needs to be fed nutritious goodness. 256 00:08:58,514 --> 00:09:00,784 Your degenerate brain, of course, will go hungry 257 00:09:00,851 --> 00:09:02,819 and lapse into a vegetative state, 258 00:09:02,886 --> 00:09:04,988 proving a higher power does exist! 259 00:09:05,055 --> 00:09:05,989 [munches] 260 00:09:06,056 --> 00:09:07,490 - [growls] 261 00:09:07,557 --> 00:09:09,893 * * 262 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,896 [all munching] 263 00:09:12,963 --> 00:09:15,632 * * 264 00:09:15,699 --> 00:09:17,067 - Uh, have you guys noticed 265 00:09:17,133 --> 00:09:18,769 that the moment you finish the bag, you want more? 266 00:09:18,835 --> 00:09:20,570 [chuckles] - Yeah, it's just like the love 267 00:09:20,637 --> 00:09:22,538 I desperately crave from people of authority. 268 00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,174 - [laughs] Oh, yeah, clearly, 269 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,843 we had no idea how much our bodies needed the recommended 270 00:09:26,910 --> 00:09:28,645 daily allowance of vitamin-fortified 271 00:09:28,712 --> 00:09:30,546 Beardy chunks! [munches] 272 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,949 Mmm. - Oh, ho-ho-ho, 273 00:09:33,016 --> 00:09:34,651 have you guys tried pushing your tongues 274 00:09:34,718 --> 00:09:36,953 into the back corners to get the compacted flavor dust? 275 00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:40,456 So good! [all laugh and munch] 276 00:09:40,523 --> 00:09:42,158 - Okay, enough! 277 00:09:42,225 --> 00:09:44,695 You guys sound like my grandparents gumming caramels. 278 00:09:44,761 --> 00:09:46,429 You do remember I'm allergic, right? 279 00:09:46,496 --> 00:09:47,798 I mean, maybe it would be nice 280 00:09:47,864 --> 00:09:49,232 if you could put the bags down 281 00:09:49,299 --> 00:09:53,003 so we could talk about something--anything else. 282 00:09:53,069 --> 00:09:55,071 [laughter] 283 00:09:55,138 --> 00:09:56,406 - Hello, children! 284 00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:58,708 Good news! Eew Corp has just refilled 285 00:09:58,775 --> 00:10:00,343 our brand-new snack machine 286 00:10:00,410 --> 00:10:02,178 with more healthful and wholesome snacks. 287 00:10:02,245 --> 00:10:04,547 Go get 'em before they're gone. 288 00:10:04,614 --> 00:10:07,918 [all scream] 289 00:10:12,088 --> 00:10:15,025 - [growling] 290 00:10:17,127 --> 00:10:20,130 - I just think maybe a little moderation couldn't hurt-- 291 00:10:20,196 --> 00:10:23,266 you know that old saying, "Too much of a good thing 292 00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:25,135 is really annoying." 293 00:10:25,201 --> 00:10:26,269 - Oh, Nate, my boy, 294 00:10:26,336 --> 00:10:27,670 stop being so modest. 295 00:10:27,738 --> 00:10:29,305 Your legacy is a hit! 296 00:10:29,372 --> 00:10:31,641 Mmm, at this rate, I'll be able to stop selling 297 00:10:31,708 --> 00:10:33,844 classroom window glass to pay the heating bill! 298 00:10:33,910 --> 00:10:37,848 - And that's why cat owners are superior to dog owners. 299 00:10:37,914 --> 00:10:39,783 [car honks] Car! 300 00:10:41,551 --> 00:10:44,154 - Matter of fact, I have a surprise for you. 301 00:10:44,220 --> 00:10:45,588 [striking dramatic tone] 302 00:10:45,655 --> 00:10:47,657 [laughs] You'll never be forgotten now. 303 00:10:47,724 --> 00:10:50,827 [all munching] 304 00:10:53,163 --> 00:10:57,467 - Do you know how much damage your legacy is doing? 305 00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:59,702 These snacks are affecting 306 00:10:59,770 --> 00:11:02,372 my academic career! [eye shatters] 307 00:11:02,438 --> 00:11:05,942 - Excellent, Kim. A+, Randy. 308 00:11:06,009 --> 00:11:08,945 Gina--oh! Lysistrata's sheet cake, 309 00:11:09,012 --> 00:11:10,113 what is that? 310 00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:12,382 - It's what you asked us to paint. 311 00:11:12,448 --> 00:11:14,317 - I don't think so. 312 00:11:14,384 --> 00:11:15,651 F. - [gasps] 313 00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:17,587 There's something very wrong 314 00:11:17,653 --> 00:11:19,389 about these snacks, Nate! 315 00:11:19,455 --> 00:11:22,058 Something not organic. 316 00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:23,526 - Gina? 317 00:11:23,593 --> 00:11:25,228 - People are changing, Nate. 318 00:11:25,295 --> 00:11:26,863 Open your eyes 319 00:11:26,930 --> 00:11:30,533 before it's too late. 320 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,968 [elevator dings] 321 00:11:32,035 --> 00:11:35,271 - Why is Gina heading down to detention with Galvin? 322 00:11:35,338 --> 00:11:36,739 - Beardy Yum Yums. 323 00:11:36,807 --> 00:11:38,574 [all munching] - Gina's overreacting. 324 00:11:38,641 --> 00:11:41,344 The snacks can't take down an entire school, 325 00:11:41,411 --> 00:11:42,678 and I'm gonna prove it. 326 00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:46,649 - Hey, guys, anyone up for some pork tetherball? 327 00:11:48,651 --> 00:11:50,020 Okay, well, uh, 328 00:11:50,086 --> 00:11:52,322 we could steal Godfrey's teeth. 329 00:11:52,388 --> 00:11:54,891 - [gags] [screams] 330 00:11:56,359 --> 00:11:57,360 - [whimpers] 331 00:11:57,427 --> 00:11:59,029 Stuff Mr. Rosa's pants 332 00:11:59,095 --> 00:12:02,198 with nuts and let the squirrels loose on him? 333 00:12:02,265 --> 00:12:05,735 - [screaming] 334 00:12:05,802 --> 00:12:07,670 - I--guys, I-- 335 00:12:07,737 --> 00:12:10,106 are you guys even listening to me? 336 00:12:11,274 --> 00:12:12,342 - Sure, we are. 337 00:12:13,944 --> 00:12:17,247 What'd you say? - Wait, is your skin oranger? 338 00:12:17,313 --> 00:12:19,115 - [laughs] Good one. 339 00:12:19,182 --> 00:12:22,152 [laughter] 340 00:12:22,218 --> 00:12:25,121 [somber music] 341 00:12:25,188 --> 00:12:29,092 * * 342 00:12:29,159 --> 00:12:31,727 - * All I wanted was a snack * 343 00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,764 * A Beardy Yum Yum to call my own * 344 00:12:34,831 --> 00:12:37,901 * It didn't seem like too much to ask * 345 00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:40,636 * But now I'm standing here all alone * 346 00:12:40,703 --> 00:12:43,439 * I see them eating out there * 347 00:12:43,506 --> 00:12:46,609 * Licking their fingers while I despair * 348 00:12:46,676 --> 00:12:49,312 * So full of joy and full of life * 349 00:12:49,379 --> 00:12:52,515 * Snacking all day without a care * 350 00:12:52,582 --> 00:12:55,118 * But one bite, one lick * 351 00:12:55,185 --> 00:12:58,021 * And I swell and grow boils * 352 00:12:58,088 --> 00:13:00,957 * One bite, one lick * 353 00:13:01,024 --> 00:13:03,927 * My face is scaring gargoyles * 354 00:13:03,994 --> 00:13:06,696 * So here I am, watching all my friends * 355 00:13:06,762 --> 00:13:10,300 * Without me * 356 00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:13,136 * Bags wide open * 357 00:13:13,203 --> 00:13:17,273 * Fists all full of beard * 358 00:13:17,340 --> 00:13:18,808 * As they snack, snack, snack * 359 00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:20,310 * And snack * 360 00:13:20,376 --> 00:13:23,346 * And suckle on their tasty fingers * 361 00:13:23,413 --> 00:13:26,449 * I try to say, "Maybe eat an apple * 362 00:13:26,516 --> 00:13:27,617 * "A hunk of a kale * 363 00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:32,222 * Or maybe broccoli" * 364 00:13:32,288 --> 00:13:35,058 * But they chomp, chomp, chomp another bag * 365 00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:38,028 * I hope their kidneys can take * 366 00:13:38,094 --> 00:13:45,168 * All that sodium! * 367 00:13:45,235 --> 00:13:47,537 * * 368 00:13:47,603 --> 00:13:50,740 [laughter] 369 00:13:51,807 --> 00:13:53,609 [loud crash] Huh? 370 00:13:53,676 --> 00:13:56,712 [suspenseful music] 371 00:13:56,779 --> 00:13:58,381 * * 372 00:13:58,448 --> 00:13:59,815 Hey, hey, hey, hey, you guys, 373 00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:02,418 what are you doing? It's empty! 374 00:14:02,485 --> 00:14:03,453 [all growl] - [barks] 375 00:14:03,519 --> 00:14:05,821 - Need more snack machine now! 376 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,657 I need it now! Need more snack machine! 377 00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:10,226 - [grunts] - [grunts] 378 00:14:10,293 --> 00:14:13,229 [all sniffing] 379 00:14:14,364 --> 00:14:15,431 - Ooh, wa-ah-ah-ah! 380 00:14:15,498 --> 00:14:16,899 all: Snack machine! 381 00:14:16,967 --> 00:14:18,301 - Snack, snack, snack! 382 00:14:18,368 --> 00:14:20,470 ["Down With the Sickness" by Disturbed] 383 00:14:20,536 --> 00:14:23,339 - What is happening? 384 00:14:23,406 --> 00:14:25,241 - [sniffs] 385 00:14:25,308 --> 00:14:26,943 Machine! [laughs] 386 00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:29,345 Found new machine! 387 00:14:29,412 --> 00:14:32,382 [helicopter whirs] [all screaming] 388 00:14:32,448 --> 00:14:34,484 [sirens wailing] 389 00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:36,419 - [cackling] 390 00:14:36,486 --> 00:14:37,787 [helicopters whirring] 391 00:14:37,853 --> 00:14:41,557 - * Deep in my sea of loathing * 392 00:14:41,624 --> 00:14:44,527 - [cackles] [screaming] 393 00:14:44,594 --> 00:14:45,728 - * I kneel * 394 00:14:45,795 --> 00:14:47,730 - Whoa! [panting] 395 00:14:47,797 --> 00:14:49,165 Gina? - [whispering] Quiet, 396 00:14:49,232 --> 00:14:50,533 you pinhead! 397 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,402 They'll hear you. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 398 00:14:52,468 --> 00:14:53,970 Are you one of them? 399 00:14:54,037 --> 00:14:55,838 - [screams] [loud explosion booms] 400 00:14:55,905 --> 00:14:57,040 - Of course not. 401 00:14:57,107 --> 00:14:59,542 I read the ingredients, moron. 402 00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:00,710 Come on. There's something 403 00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:01,844 you need to see. 404 00:15:01,911 --> 00:15:03,779 - Ah! [panting] 405 00:15:03,846 --> 00:15:05,015 [thunder booms] 406 00:15:05,081 --> 00:15:06,082 - Ah! Look out! 407 00:15:06,149 --> 00:15:07,984 [whimpers] Let me out! 408 00:15:08,051 --> 00:15:09,919 [screams] - [gasps] 409 00:15:09,986 --> 00:15:12,555 - [laughs] That kind of tickled. 410 00:15:12,622 --> 00:15:14,090 - Mr. Galvin? 411 00:15:14,157 --> 00:15:17,360 - Nate, the school--in fact, all of Rackleff-- 412 00:15:17,427 --> 00:15:19,929 is in grave danger. 413 00:15:19,996 --> 00:15:21,964 - Show him. 414 00:15:22,032 --> 00:15:23,833 - [distorted voice] Beardy Yum Yums. 415 00:15:23,899 --> 00:15:25,435 [gargled screaming] 416 00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:27,970 - [gasps] What have I done? 417 00:15:28,038 --> 00:15:29,372 [thunder booms] 418 00:15:29,439 --> 00:15:30,840 I don't understand. 419 00:15:30,906 --> 00:15:33,643 How could Chad change like that so fast? 420 00:15:33,708 --> 00:15:35,478 I just saw him a few hours ago. 421 00:15:35,545 --> 00:15:38,781 - Chad's physiology is not like yours or mine. 422 00:15:38,848 --> 00:15:40,250 Either through heredity 423 00:15:40,316 --> 00:15:42,652 or his voracious consumption of cat meal, 424 00:15:42,718 --> 00:15:46,989 Chad's body has an extreme reaction to stimuli. 425 00:15:47,057 --> 00:15:49,192 Test session number 12. 426 00:15:49,259 --> 00:15:51,861 [pie squelches] How does the strawberry pie 427 00:15:51,927 --> 00:15:53,396 make you feel, Chad? 428 00:15:53,463 --> 00:15:55,798 - Like I want it dipped in chocolate. 429 00:15:55,865 --> 00:15:57,867 [laughs] 430 00:15:57,933 --> 00:15:59,302 [air horn blares] 431 00:15:59,369 --> 00:16:00,603 [eerie music] 432 00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:02,905 - [grunts] Oh, no! 433 00:16:02,972 --> 00:16:04,607 - [munches] 434 00:16:04,674 --> 00:16:05,875 [farts] - Hey! 435 00:16:05,941 --> 00:16:07,410 - [laughing] 436 00:16:08,878 --> 00:16:10,080 - [whimpers] That was, like, the world's 437 00:16:10,146 --> 00:16:11,714 most disturbing talent show. 438 00:16:11,781 --> 00:16:13,616 - Nate, this is serious. 439 00:16:13,683 --> 00:16:14,917 - Sorry! I just--I--I-- 440 00:16:14,984 --> 00:16:16,786 I still don't understand! How could a healthy, 441 00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:19,222 organic snack cause all this? 442 00:16:19,289 --> 00:16:23,059 - Because the Eew Corporation lied. 443 00:16:23,126 --> 00:16:26,596 There is nothing healthy or "organic" in their snacks. 444 00:16:26,662 --> 00:16:30,166 In fact, I've discovered that their flavor blasting 445 00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:32,935 is actually a nefarious bioweapon. 446 00:16:33,002 --> 00:16:34,237 It turns the consumer 447 00:16:34,304 --> 00:16:37,540 into an uncontrollable snacking machine. 448 00:16:37,607 --> 00:16:39,242 - [bumbling] 449 00:16:39,309 --> 00:16:41,744 - Which means more profits for them. 450 00:16:41,811 --> 00:16:43,012 - You were right. 451 00:16:43,079 --> 00:16:44,347 I should've read the ingredients. 452 00:16:44,414 --> 00:16:46,516 - [laughs] Please say that again. 453 00:16:46,582 --> 00:16:48,818 - [gasps] - Directly into the microphone 454 00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:51,221 so I can treasure it forever. 455 00:16:51,287 --> 00:16:52,922 - No! Okay, okay, 456 00:16:52,988 --> 00:16:54,457 so what you're telling me 457 00:16:54,524 --> 00:16:56,892 is I need to hunt down all my friends 458 00:16:56,958 --> 00:16:58,561 who've got Beardy Yum Yum Fever 459 00:16:58,628 --> 00:17:01,264 and destroy them. Where can I get a flamethrower? 460 00:17:01,331 --> 00:17:03,699 - There is a less-murdery way 461 00:17:03,766 --> 00:17:07,270 to cure this Beardy mania! 462 00:17:07,337 --> 00:17:08,237 - Pee pee. 463 00:17:08,304 --> 00:17:10,005 - Agh, we have to pee on 'em? 464 00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,707 Gross! I'd rather use a flamethrower. 465 00:17:11,774 --> 00:17:14,677 - No, Nate, we need to get them to stop eating 466 00:17:14,744 --> 00:17:18,148 and drink water so they will pee out the toxins. 467 00:17:18,214 --> 00:17:19,614 - Well, that's just great. How do we get them 468 00:17:19,681 --> 00:17:22,584 to stop eating if they won't stop eating? 469 00:17:22,651 --> 00:17:24,320 - We start by getting rid 470 00:17:24,387 --> 00:17:27,457 of the snack machine you got the school, dorkis! 471 00:17:27,523 --> 00:17:30,526 - [sobs] My legacy? 472 00:17:30,593 --> 00:17:32,428 - Beardy Yum Yum. 473 00:17:32,495 --> 00:17:35,298 - [gasps] I was worried about this. 474 00:17:35,365 --> 00:17:36,999 [all growling and munching] 475 00:17:37,066 --> 00:17:40,703 They're de-evolving at an accelerated pace, 476 00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:42,138 hoarding snack machines 477 00:17:42,205 --> 00:17:44,073 like primitive beasts. 478 00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:45,308 - [feral grumbling] 479 00:17:45,375 --> 00:17:46,309 - Now what? 480 00:17:46,376 --> 00:17:48,144 There's too many snack machines 481 00:17:48,211 --> 00:17:50,413 to get rid of. - Oh, 482 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:51,281 "get rid of." 483 00:17:51,347 --> 00:17:52,582 Come on. To the junkyard! 484 00:17:52,648 --> 00:17:54,217 I think I know someone who can help. 485 00:17:59,021 --> 00:18:01,824 - [grunts] 486 00:18:03,393 --> 00:18:05,528 Hank, I know I hurt you. 487 00:18:05,595 --> 00:18:07,163 I know you feel betrayed, 488 00:18:07,230 --> 00:18:08,931 but our school--no, no, no. You know what? 489 00:18:08,998 --> 00:18:10,900 Your school is in danger. 490 00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:13,836 Don't let the Eew Corp wipe out your legacy. 491 00:18:13,903 --> 00:18:16,806 Come back to PS 38. Help us. 492 00:18:18,674 --> 00:18:20,943 - Nothing. Total waste of-- 493 00:18:21,010 --> 00:18:22,278 Ow! 494 00:18:22,345 --> 00:18:23,379 - Huh? Old Hank? 495 00:18:23,446 --> 00:18:24,380 You in there, buddy? 496 00:18:24,447 --> 00:18:25,948 [machine roars] 497 00:18:26,015 --> 00:18:27,617 I think he's trying to talk to us, 498 00:18:27,683 --> 00:18:29,485 but I don't speak snack machine. 499 00:18:29,552 --> 00:18:31,754 - Fortunately, I happen to be fluent. 500 00:18:31,821 --> 00:18:34,357 My first girlfriend was a coffee dispenser 501 00:18:34,424 --> 00:18:36,559 named Medium Grinder. 502 00:18:36,626 --> 00:18:37,893 - Stay on topic, Mr. G. 503 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,129 - I believe Old Hank wants to help. 504 00:18:40,196 --> 00:18:43,533 I also think he said a few words not appropriate 505 00:18:43,599 --> 00:18:45,100 for children. 506 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:47,670 - Who cares? One washed-up old snack machine 507 00:18:47,737 --> 00:18:49,171 can't save us! 508 00:18:49,239 --> 00:18:51,040 We need an army! 509 00:18:51,106 --> 00:18:54,043 [machine roars] 510 00:18:55,211 --> 00:18:57,747 - Guys, I think we found our army. 511 00:18:57,813 --> 00:19:00,883 [all grumbling and munching] 512 00:19:02,385 --> 00:19:04,487 [cymbals crashing] - Hmm? 513 00:19:04,554 --> 00:19:07,523 [all grumbling] 514 00:19:07,590 --> 00:19:09,058 [Wild West music] 515 00:19:09,124 --> 00:19:11,227 - Hmph. 516 00:19:11,294 --> 00:19:13,363 - Why Nate here with that? 517 00:19:13,429 --> 00:19:16,632 - His name is Old Hank, and he belongs here. 518 00:19:16,699 --> 00:19:19,835 [laughter] 519 00:19:21,337 --> 00:19:23,005 Oh, please, look at yourselves. 520 00:19:23,072 --> 00:19:25,508 Snacks are supposed to be a treat, not a meal. 521 00:19:25,575 --> 00:19:26,909 Gina was-- [sighs] 522 00:19:26,976 --> 00:19:29,044 Oh, I hate myself for saying this. 523 00:19:29,111 --> 00:19:30,246 She was-- 524 00:19:30,313 --> 00:19:31,781 right. - [chuckles] 525 00:19:31,847 --> 00:19:33,249 [gasps] - Ingredients matter. 526 00:19:33,316 --> 00:19:34,617 Eating healthy matters, 527 00:19:34,684 --> 00:19:36,752 and that's not gonna happen with evil Eew Corp 528 00:19:36,819 --> 00:19:39,121 snack machines. 529 00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:40,356 So what do you say, gang? 530 00:19:40,423 --> 00:19:42,958 Let's put Old Hank back where he belongs. 531 00:19:43,025 --> 00:19:46,195 He may be a horribly unfriendly and abusive snack machine, 532 00:19:46,262 --> 00:19:49,131 but he's our horribly unfriendly and abusive 533 00:19:49,198 --> 00:19:51,934 snack machine! Who's with me? 534 00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:54,570 [laughter] 535 00:19:56,472 --> 00:19:59,475 - Nate Wright, g--go home. 536 00:19:59,542 --> 00:20:03,045 - Yeah, and take Nate Wright lame machine with you. 537 00:20:03,112 --> 00:20:04,547 [laughter] 538 00:20:04,614 --> 00:20:07,082 - Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. 539 00:20:07,149 --> 00:20:10,453 Hmph. [machine cries out] 540 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,687 all: Ah! 541 00:20:11,754 --> 00:20:13,356 [rock music] 542 00:20:13,423 --> 00:20:16,292 - I'd like you to meet some friends of Old Hank's-- 543 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:18,127 Der Wonder Wienie, 544 00:20:18,193 --> 00:20:19,729 Hot Wings of Desire, 545 00:20:19,795 --> 00:20:21,364 Kernel McPoppin, 546 00:20:21,431 --> 00:20:22,798 The Egg'o'Nator, 547 00:20:22,865 --> 00:20:25,835 Gummo, Spew-Matic Beverage Oasis, 548 00:20:25,901 --> 00:20:29,772 and Baron von Taffy Pull III. 549 00:20:29,839 --> 00:20:32,508 Time to take back our school! 550 00:20:32,575 --> 00:20:34,344 [screams] 551 00:20:34,410 --> 00:20:36,111 Fire everything! 552 00:20:36,178 --> 00:20:38,448 - * The danger zone * 553 00:20:38,514 --> 00:20:40,215 [all scream] 554 00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:42,618 ["Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins] 555 00:20:42,685 --> 00:20:44,053 * Never say hello * 556 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:45,120 [all barking] 557 00:20:45,187 --> 00:20:46,522 - [howls] 558 00:20:46,589 --> 00:20:47,890 - * Line overload * 559 00:20:47,957 --> 00:20:49,459 - Gina! Mr. Galvin! 560 00:20:49,525 --> 00:20:51,861 Chad! Now! 561 00:20:51,927 --> 00:20:53,896 - * High as you can go * 562 00:20:53,963 --> 00:20:55,665 - Ah! [gargles] 563 00:20:55,731 --> 00:20:57,333 - Ooh, ah! [grunts] 564 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,703 * * 565 00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:01,704 - * Ooh, yeah * 566 00:21:01,771 --> 00:21:08,778 * * 567 00:21:08,844 --> 00:21:10,045 both: Oh, yeah! [all cheer] 568 00:21:10,112 --> 00:21:12,482 - [whimpers] I gotta go pee! 569 00:21:12,548 --> 00:21:14,850 [Wild West music] 570 00:21:14,917 --> 00:21:17,687 - Oh, yeah, tomato. 571 00:21:17,753 --> 00:21:20,189 - Okay, okay. My legacy thing was a bust. 572 00:21:20,255 --> 00:21:22,992 But I did help Old Hank secure his legacy. 573 00:21:23,058 --> 00:21:24,727 You know, uh, it has its perks. 574 00:21:24,794 --> 00:21:26,696 - [grunting] 575 00:21:26,762 --> 00:21:29,365 Should've left you in that junkyard! 576 00:21:29,432 --> 00:21:31,300 Oh! [growls] 577 00:21:31,367 --> 00:21:32,668 [screams] 578 00:21:32,735 --> 00:21:34,537 - [chuckles] 579 00:21:34,604 --> 00:21:36,372 [all groan] You guys starting 580 00:21:36,439 --> 00:21:38,874 to feel better? - If you call the worst TMJ 581 00:21:38,941 --> 00:21:41,276 in the world "better," then sure. 582 00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:43,646 - You know I like chewing as much as the next guy, 583 00:21:43,713 --> 00:21:45,581 but the next time an evil corporation 584 00:21:45,648 --> 00:21:46,616 takes over my mind, 585 00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:48,283 I'm asking for a feeding tube. 586 00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,420 - I was actually considering becoming a vegan 587 00:21:50,486 --> 00:21:51,854 until I saw Chad. - Huh? 588 00:21:51,921 --> 00:21:53,088 - What's wrong with Chad? 589 00:21:53,155 --> 00:21:55,891 - Mmm, thanks for the hot bath, Zora. 590 00:21:55,958 --> 00:22:00,396 FYI, these carrots are delicious. 591 00:22:00,463 --> 00:22:03,332 [munches] - [evil laughter] 592 00:22:10,339 --> 00:22:12,808 - * As they snack, snack, snack, and snack * 593 00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:16,011 * And suckle on their tasty fingers * 594 00:22:16,078 --> 00:22:18,981 * I try to say "Maybe eat an apple * 595 00:22:19,048 --> 00:22:20,249 * "A hunk of a kale * 596 00:22:20,315 --> 00:22:23,018 * Or maybe broccoli" * 597 00:22:23,085 --> 00:22:25,988 * But they chomp, chomp, chomp another bag * 598 00:22:26,055 --> 00:22:29,391 * I hope their kidneys can take * 599 00:22:29,459 --> 00:22:35,264 * All that sodium! *