[dramatic music]
[seagulls calling]
* *
- [groans]
[sighs]
[groans]
[grunts]
[gasps] We made it!
We made it to Treasure Island!
[laughs triumphantly]
[upbeat music]
- * Don't want to go to school today *
* The sun is red hot and I wanna play *
* But if I get caught they'll make me pay *
* Detention again *
- * Big Nate, Big Nate *
- * Math and social studies just ain't my thing *
- * Big Nate, Big Nate *
- * Rocking with my band is where I'm king *
* Stealing the teacher's teeth or bailing on a test *
- * Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh *
* Big Nate *
[loud clang]
[loud crash]
[whistles]
Oh, hey, guys. Just tuning in?
Let me catch you up with a flashback.
My Gram and Gramps, known to other grown-ups
and local authorities as Vern and Marge,
showed up out of the blue without any presents
in a dumpy fishing boat they traded their house
and my dad's inheritance for-- not cool.
Until they showed us a map
and invited us on a treasure hunt!
Dangerous? Yeah, probably.
But we laugh at danger!
Okay, most of us laugh at danger.
We hit a few minor,
and I--I mean super minor setbacks.
- Oh!
- Little did I know,
my best friends were hot on our tail,
and that's when things got nuts.
My dad fell in love with a trash mermaid,
which is totally on brand for him.
We fought fish mutants. - Hi-yah!
- We were swallowed by and then blown out
of a whale's blowhole.
Gramps lost his finger. We lost the boats.
I lost my friends. Yada, yada, yada.
You've heard stuff like this before.
Here we are.
Okay, fam.
Time to put our yesterdays behind us
and get our filthy hands on some pirate's booty.
- [laughs] That's the spirit, Nate.
- Hmm.
[quirky music]
Huh?
[chick cheeping] Aw.
Ahh! Are you kidding me?
We're lucky to be alive.
Mom, Dad, there's no treasure on this island, only--
okay, what exactly is a Beardy Yum-Yum,
'cause that's a weird name.
- Uh, only the world's most irresistible snack food.
- It's buried treasure, Marty.
They don't call it above-ground treasure, do they?
- No, they call it a scam,
which you have somehow fallen for
and roped our entire family into.
But I'm done, and tomorrow we head home.
- And I am with you, Dad.
But we don't have a boat.
- Then I'll build a boat.
[record scratch] [both laugh]
What's so funny?
- Is it the octopus latched onto Ellen's leg?
- The what? Octopus?
Octopus! - Ahh! It got me!
[whimpers] It's sucking on my pupils!
[grunts]
- Nobody's building any boats.
- [laughs] Exactly.
Because we don't need to.
Once we find that treasure, we'll use it to charter a boat
or buy a yacht! Ha!
Now, who's with us, huh?
- Hoo! - You?
[all shout] [rumbling]
- [ominous whisper] Eewcorpico.
- Okay. How to wake up from a really bad, long dream.
[gasps] Teenager.
[phone beeps] Answer me, Internet!
- Okay, uh, seriously, what was that noise?
- A warning.
Pirates must have rigged the island
to prevent swashbucklers like us
from finding the treasure.
- In other words, we're unwanted trespassers
and this is probably government property.
- Aw, come on, Dad!
Stop being a buzzkill.
Did you hear what Gramps said? Pirates!
Swashbucklers! Treasure!
I mean, can't we just let this adventure play out?
- It's played out plenty!
Need I remind you that they got us swallowed by a whale?
- Okay, okay. All right, all right.
Sure, they put us through a lot
so far on this journey, but look.
We made it to a treasure island,
just like they promised.
They can change, Dad.
We can't just assume the worst in people, can we?
[both whimper]
- [sighs] Sorry, Nate.
I know my parents,
and they definitely cannot change.
Why don't you come help me make some smoke signals
and spell out "SOS" in the sand
with fish carcasses?
- Uh, I don't know, Dad.
I mean, what if Gram and Gramps can change?
They've risked everything to find this treasure
and, well, I'd really like to help them do it.
- [sighs] Go.
- Thanks, Dad. Bye!
- Right behind ya!
both: Hmm?
- If anything happens to Nate on this island--
- He'll be okay.
He's got us, Marty.
- You and I both know that doesn't make me feel better.
Now go, and make sure he uses bug spray.
- Don't worry, Nate.
We'll split the pirate's booty with your dad.
- Ooh, yeah. And before you know it,
we'll be riding that fancy yacht
to Rackleff as a family,
with enough room for all of us, even your weird little friends
that are hopefully not whale food.
- Oh, yeah. Them.
I'm sure they're fine.
I mean, we made it to shore, so I'll bet they did too.
And this can't be the first time Uncle Pedro's been
stranded on a desert island.
- Never before have I been stranded on a desert island.
We're in real trouble here, kids.
- Thank you for your honesty, Tío.
- Truly inspiring.
- We're doomed!
Doomed!
[note plays wetly]
- I come bearing food!
[crash]
- Where'd you find this stuff, Chad?
- I've got a knack for survival.
We Applewhites have had to compensate
for our inferior evolutionary traits.
And our hesitancy to throw out socks with worn-out elasticity.
- That one's hard for all of us, bro.
- Anyhoo, I found this food in the heart of the island.
Some of it's probably pretty stale,
but it should do us just fine for now.
- He's right.
I think we can make these snacks
last at least a week.
- Enough time for the rescue boats to show.
Boy, everyone back home must be worried sick right now.
- [farts]
Emmy, please.
[rumbling] - Whoa!
- Oh! - We may not have time to wait
for the rescue boats.
The Curse of Eewcorpico has made its home here.
[dramatic music]
And it does not like visitors.
- [groans, thuds]
- [groans] - [gasps]
- [grunting]
This place reeks.
- Well, good news.
We should be seeing a freshwater pond up ahead.
[bubbling]
- Ah, man.
Turns out that "freshwater" pond
is blocking our path.
- Huh. Maybe we made a wrong turn somewhere.
- Hmm. Wait a sec.
I've seen this kind of thing before
in the movies in my head starring me.
It's a booby trap.
We just need to find a rope swing.
Do you know where the rope swing is?
children's voices: It's over there!
It's right behind you!
- Aw, thanks, audience of small children
I've hallucinated.
[Tarzan yell]
Ow!
Stuck the landing.
Henceforth, I shall be known as,
uh, Obediah Goldlover!
Lover of adventure, gold...
and also snacks.
[adventurous music]
* *
[rumbling] [all scream]
[all grunt]
* *
[screaming]
- This isn't fun, okay?
* *
[monkeys screeching] - [shouting]
* *
[all retching]
- Oh, no, no, no, no!
Ahh!
- Behold, the hidden temple!
- Ha!
And they said I couldn't build a boat.
- I mean, this is more like a third grade art project,
but you know what? Good job, Dad.
Now, how do we know which way to go?
- Simple: We head for the horizon.
- Okay.
How long do you think it will take?
- It's tough to say.
Hey, do me a solid, honey, and pull that line
so we can tack starboard.
- What line? What tack? What?
Dad, I don't speak sailor.
- The seaweed there.
Hurry, though. We got a little wave coming.
- A wave? Where?
Ahh!
[door slams] - Ah-ha!
The pirates' hideout!
- Huh.
Hmm.
- Hey, check it out!
You know, I gotta say,
you two really bring out my inner daredevil.
[gargling]
Hey, who wants some cheesy spray?
- Toss it over, pal.
- [gargling] Mmm.
You know, really--mmm.
Your blind enthusiasm, lack of foresight,
and total disregard for safety precautions has
been nothing short of inspirational.
[rumbling]
- [ominous whisper] Eewcorpico.
- Get one more spray in. It could be your last.
Until dinner later, after we find the treasure.
[mysterious music]
- Well, project trash raft was a fail.
Shocker.
[retches]
- No, it wasn't. Not by a long shot.
[retches]
You see, Ellen, "failure" is just an opportunity
to try again and again and again.
I may fail a hundred times-- - How many times?
- But I will get our family off this garbage dump of an island,
or my name isn't Martin Earl Wright.
- Your middle name is Earl?
- Well, it was "ham and cheese" because your Gram accidentally
put down her lunch request on my birth certificate,
but I changed it.
- Yeah, you know, you--
you've got a lot to work out with those two
- I do.
[dramatic music]
- Um, quick question about the snacks.
Did anybody accidentally take an extra one?
Or six?
- No! No!
It's all gone!
- What do you mean it's all gone?
- What do you mean what do I mean?
- What do you mean what does he mean?
He means what do you mean?
- My precious snacks!
Who could have done this?
[pigeons cooing] [relaxing tropical music]
- You mean our precious snacks!
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
Guys, I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this,
but alas, here we are.
So whoever pulls the short straw gets eaten first.
- No one's touching these thighs.
- Unbelievable. - What?
How else are we supposed to survive?
- Well, we could have survived on delicious snacks,
but someone had to eat the last bag of chips!
- Okay. Okay.
Well, someone who ate the last snack would be
someone who'd accuse someone of eating the last snack!
- I didn't eat it!
I'm too smart to risk all our lives like that.
- Well, if you're so smart, Francis,
why don't you tell us where to get more bags of chips?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
- How would I know where to get more food?
We're stuck on an island covered in rotten trash!
- Wait. There's still one bag left.
[fart noise]
Never mind. It just looked full.
We have...nothing.
[screaming, grunting]
Eewcorpico. Children, please!
The curse is trying to take over your minds.
Be still, and let me work my dark magic.
[vocalizes gibberish]
Out, devil curse! Out, I say!
- Ow! Stop it!
Ooh, that got an itch, actually.
- [whimpering]
- [muttering]
- [vocalizing]
[gasps] Adelaide!
[all whimpering]
[conch blows] [all shout]
- Oh! Oh, that thing is loud.
It's still vibrating in my butt cheeks.
- Children! You're not concentrating.
Resist the curse's evil temptation
or we will all perish!
[rumbling]
- What was that?
- [ominous whisper] Eewcorpico.
- The curse! We have to fight it!
But we can only do it together.
- Battle--oof!
Cry!
[yelling]
[all yelling]
- [gasps] Did you hear that?
Scavengers approaching!
- They must be after our treasure.
[yelling]
- We can't let them get there first!
Battle cry!
[all yelling]
Battle cry!
[heavy metal music]
[all grunt]
Huh? - [gasps]
Nate? - Guys?
- Nate! - Guys, it's Nate!
- Nate, the guys!
- Nate! - Guys!
all: Nate! Guys!
- We're so glad you're alive.
We've been looking for you the whole time.
We never gave up hope.
- Uh, yeah. Us too.
[chuckles]
We totally weren't looking for treasure
instead of you. all: Aw.
- And we totally weren't considering eating each other.
- That's good.
That's good, Teddy. Real good.
- I'm lying.
We did consider light cannibalism
[rumbling]
- Good news!
We can now turn around and go home.
Who's craving Scoopsies? I am!
- I could really go for a marshmallow bok choy sorbet.
- First of all, ew.
Second, go home? No way!
Guys, we are so close to the treasure!
- But what about the Curse of Eewcorpico, Nate?
- [ominous whisper] Eewcorpico.
- What's that?
Is that one of Uncle Pedro's crazy tales?
Because I'll tell you what,
Obediah Goldlover ain't afraid of no curse.
[adventurous music]
- Let's blip over the fact that
you just called yourself Obediah Goldlover
and let Uncle Pedro explain.
- Eewcorpico is no tale, child. It is a legend.
And legends become legends because they are legendary.
If we allow it, the curse will have its way with us.
Don't let it make you blind
to what's right in front of you.
[dramatic music]
- Me, blind? No, no, no, no.
My eyes are wide open, baby.
[laughs] You see?
[flies buzzing] [screaming]
A fly! Oh, it hurts!
It hurts so bad! Ahh!
- Wow. That's me-level drama.
I'm impressed.
- [gasping]
Okay. I'm okay now.
I'm okay.
I am Obediah Goldlover.
Now, where was I? Oh, yeah.
What I see is cha-ching, cha-ching!
That is the sound that treasure makes.
Let's go get that gold!
[adventurous music]
- [ominous whisper] Eewcorpico.
* *
- [sighs]
You know, if I wasn't utterly terrified that
our entire family was trapped on a desert island
with little to no hope of us getting back to Rackleff
before we starve to death,
I'd say this was kind of relaxing.
- Yeah, I agree.
Except... - What is it, honey?
Is my back hair grossing you out,
or the mole clusters?
- Hi, Ellen.
[chuckles]
- No, no.
I mean, yes. But it's not just that.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but...
I just hope Nate's okay.
[boat horn blares]
Dad! Was that what I think it was?
- Were you thinking it was one of those cruise ships
with an all-you-can-eat buffet?
- That or also, uh, j-just a regular boat.
Look!
[boat horn blares]
- Let me see.
Ellen, we're saved!
Help! We're right here!
Hurry! We can catch up to them.
How do we make this thing go faster?
- Well it is made out of milk cartons and seaweed,
so I don't think--Dad!
[both scream]
[dramatic music]
[pipe creaking]
- Keep moving, guys.
Once we find the treasure, we're gonna be so rich that
all the terror and trauma will be totally worth it.
- So you're saying money can save my soul.
That is a relief.
[clattering] [grunting]
- Ah, Dios mio!
- Well, this is unfortunate.
[dramatic music]
- [gasps]
This isn't a treasure island.
It's a trash-ure island!
- It's an Eewcorpico dump site!
- Wait a sec. Look!
[all gasp]
* *
- Ahh. - Oh!
- Nobody go near! It could be cursed.
- Enough with the curses, Pedro!
[suspenseful music]
* *
[button beeps]
[rumbling] - Huh?
[dramatic music]
* *
Ahh!
Francis, look what you did!
[all screaming]
Why did I ever believe you guys?
[grunts] - Cause we really thought
this treasure could help the family.
- Gramps is right, Nate.
Nobody could have predicted
this would become such a disaster.
- Yeah, well, my dad could have,
and now I may never see him again.
This is all your fault!
- Hold on there, Mr. Goldlover.
You were the one that lead us into this stupid adventure.
We all risked our lives to save you,
and now it's too late!
So it's actually all three of your faults.
- We got swallowed by a whale for nothing?
- Nate's not to blame.
This one's on us.
We should have listened to Marty
and protected our grandson,
not drag him into one of our crazy get-rich-quick schemes.
- But what can we do about it?
- Battle cry!
- What are you doing, Nate?
- What nobody else has the cebollas to do, amigo.
- He's clogging up that garbage volcano
with a bagful of Beardy Yum-Yum wrappers.
He's fighting trash with trash!
- A brave man risking it all to save his best friends!
And Francis.
- I'm coming, Nate!
- * I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night *
- We'll never forget you, Nate Wright!
- I thought his name was Obediah Goldlover.
- Nate, you don't have to do this!
I got us into this mess, and I promised your dad
I wouldn't let anything happen to you.
- But I pushed us too far!
We should have stayed back like you said!
- Shoulda! Woulda!
Couldaaaa! - Gramps!
- * Larger than life *
[music stops]
[flies buzzing, birds singing]
[rumbling] [all screaming]
- It's gonna blow!
* *
[screaming]
- No, no, no!
- Climb up to me, Nate! - I can't move!
- What? Why?
- Because I'm peeing myself!
[screaming]
* *
- [gasping] - [makes dolphin chirp]
* *
[boat horn blares]
- Ahoy, mates!
- It's "ahoy, mateys," Dad.
- Same difference.
Anybody wanna carpool back to Rackleff?
- Nate's dad, you're back!
- We're saved!
- Oh, Marty, it's Nate.
And Vern.
They're--they're--
all: Stuck on the trash chute!
- Stuck on the what?
- [screaming] - Nate! Dad!
- Do something, Marty!
Your family needs you!
[echoing] Your family needs--
your family needs you!
- Ahh!
- Those moles do not look right.
- [grunting]
- * I need a hero *
* I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night *
* He's gotta be strong * - Dad!
- Gotcha. Come on, Dad!
On the count of three, jump!
- Go on. Get out of here.
If I unclog my butt from the pipe,
this island's gonna blow.
- We're not leaving you!
- Yeah, well I guess stubbornness runs
in the family, huh?
- Yes! Now jump!
[all scream]
* *
[gasping]
- I raised a couple of daredevils, didn't I?
- I'm never leaving the house again.
Nate, you're grounded.
- Yeah, I figured.
- And for what it's worth, Marty,
well, you were right.
And I am sorry.
- About what? - All right, what?
Are you gonna make me list everything?
- I sure am.
- Ooh, actually, um, before Gramps does that, Dad,
I have something I need to say.
- What is it, son?
- Please put a shirt on.
- [grumbles]
[soft dramatic music]
- [sighs]
You know, Dad, even though there was never any treasure,
and I lost track of how many
near death experiences we all had,
it all turned out okay in the end.
- That's what you gleaned from this experience?
- Well, I mean, it all turned out okay
because you were there.
I'm sorry for not trusting you.
- I followed my gut when I should have
listened to my dad.
- Ah, that's okay.
I didn't always listen to my dad
when I was a kid.
You've got that Wright family thirst for adventure,
which skipped a generation.
- Hey. It's not like it was
really our fault that this happened.
The curse made us do it.
So...
can we crash at your place, Marty?
- Our house is in a whale somewhere.
- I have no choice, do I?
both: Nope.
- This is gonna be fun!
- I can't wait.
- Hey, a little FYI coming at you.
Vegetables make me gassy.
[farts] Mm, yeah.
Also fruit.
Actually, pretty much the whole food pyramid.
Not good.
- And I play the trombone in my sleep.
- Okay. I've heard enough.
You two are sharing Nate's bedroom.
- [ominous whisper] Eewcorpico.
- * I don't want your rotten beach towel *
* Blockin' views of my ocean *
* Holy ozone got me burnin' *
* SPF 250 is my lotion *
* I'm gonna bring you down *
* Down to Chinatown, or nearby *
* Beach brawl, beach brawl, beach brawl, beach brawl *
* Beach brawl, beach brawl, beach brawl *
* Yeah *