1 00:00:06,101 --> 00:00:08,501 ♪♪ 2 00:00:16,701 --> 00:00:18,181 (crowd clamoring) 3 00:00:18,261 --> 00:00:19,781 -Would you stop? 4 00:00:19,861 --> 00:00:22,501 Frank! What are you... 5 00:00:22,541 --> 00:00:25,661 -What's this? -You know what it is. 6 00:00:25,741 --> 00:00:27,981 Padraig asked the two of us to write the music months ago, 7 00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:29,501 but you said am-dram was beneath you 8 00:00:29,581 --> 00:00:31,341 and you wouldn't be caught dead working on this shit-- 9 00:00:31,421 --> 00:00:32,741 -You did it without me? 10 00:00:32,821 --> 00:00:34,541 -Yeah. I've written the whole score. 11 00:00:34,621 --> 00:00:36,701 We've been rehearsing for a month, and I love it. 12 00:00:36,781 --> 00:00:38,381 I'm really blossoming on my own. 13 00:00:38,461 --> 00:00:40,541 -You're not gonna blossom without me. 14 00:00:40,621 --> 00:00:43,261 -I want in. -I appreciate the offer, Frank, 15 00:00:43,341 --> 00:00:45,221 but I have to be firm here. 16 00:00:45,301 --> 00:00:46,661 You have a tendency to take over. 17 00:00:46,741 --> 00:00:49,261 -Doofus, I'm in. 18 00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:52,061 (crowd cheering, applauding) 19 00:00:57,261 --> 00:01:00,741 (cheering, applause continue) 20 00:01:03,221 --> 00:01:05,461 -MAN: Maestro! Maestro! 21 00:01:05,541 --> 00:01:07,741 Well done, Doofus and Maelbhina! 22 00:01:07,821 --> 00:01:11,061 What a wonderful way to finish a final rehearsal! 23 00:01:11,141 --> 00:01:13,221 Fantastique! 24 00:01:13,301 --> 00:01:15,221 Okay, everyone, gather round! Gather round! 25 00:01:15,301 --> 00:01:17,221 -Frank! Frank! 26 00:01:17,301 --> 00:01:18,781 My song went great. 27 00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:20,701 Hey, is Nicola here? Did she see it? 28 00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:24,141 -PADRAIG: Ladies! Here we are, two hours to opening, 29 00:01:24,221 --> 00:01:26,421 and I have to say, after all my years 30 00:01:26,501 --> 00:01:28,341 running the Am-Dram Society, 31 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:31,621 I have never been more inspired. 32 00:01:31,701 --> 00:01:34,021 And tonight, for one night only, 33 00:01:34,101 --> 00:01:36,141 it all pays off. 34 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:38,621 I think you all deserve a round of applause. Everyone! 35 00:01:42,301 --> 00:01:44,701 And I think it's important to mention 36 00:01:44,781 --> 00:01:46,701 that this is an all-female production. 37 00:01:46,781 --> 00:01:49,941 I was vehemently opposed to the idea at first, 38 00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:53,781 but after seeing how hard you all worked, 39 00:01:53,861 --> 00:01:57,101 and how you've maintained such emotional composure, 40 00:01:57,181 --> 00:01:59,141 I have to say I really came around. 41 00:01:59,221 --> 00:02:02,821 So I think I deserve a round of applause too! 42 00:02:05,581 --> 00:02:08,341 I'd like to thank Nicola for her enthusiastic work 43 00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,861 as stunt coordinator. Is she here? 44 00:02:10,941 --> 00:02:12,781 -I'm here, yeah. Sorry I'm late. 45 00:02:16,461 --> 00:02:18,261 -I'd like to give a special thank you 46 00:02:18,341 --> 00:02:20,901 to our two musical maestros 47 00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:23,181 who've given us such wonderful musique, 48 00:02:23,261 --> 00:02:25,461 especially that closing number, Doofus. 49 00:02:25,581 --> 00:02:27,181 Mwah! 50 00:02:27,301 --> 00:02:29,861 Oh! I believe our star wants a word. 51 00:02:29,901 --> 00:02:32,021 -Thank you, Padraig. You know, when I played 52 00:02:32,101 --> 00:02:33,861 the Gaeity in the nineties, 53 00:02:33,901 --> 00:02:36,581 the notion of women having a real voice in theater 54 00:02:36,621 --> 00:02:39,421 seemed like a distant dre-- -Sorry, Maelbhina, 55 00:02:39,461 --> 00:02:41,981 -I think Frank, eh-- -Thanks, Padraig. 56 00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:44,461 Just regarding the music, I just wanted to say... 57 00:02:44,541 --> 00:02:47,461 Doofus wrote one song, and you all seem very high on it... 58 00:02:47,541 --> 00:02:50,141 but what about the other 11, yeah? 59 00:02:50,221 --> 00:02:52,541 -Oh, Frank, all the songs are good. 60 00:02:52,621 --> 00:02:55,501 -Well, I don't know. Some of Frank's songs are... 61 00:02:55,581 --> 00:02:57,181 -What, Bernie? 62 00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:59,581 -Well, the show is based on "Twelve Angry Men." 63 00:02:59,661 --> 00:03:01,741 I don't see how a song called 64 00:03:01,821 --> 00:03:04,021 "Fruits of the Forest" fits in, for example. 65 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,941 -It's a metaphor. -For what? 66 00:03:06,021 --> 00:03:09,421 -The carnal imagery in "Fruits of the Forest" 67 00:03:09,501 --> 00:03:13,021 represents the animal intensity of the main characters. 68 00:03:13,101 --> 00:03:15,381 Jack Nicholson foaming at the mouth. 69 00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:17,581 Tom Cruise not taking no for an answer. 70 00:03:17,661 --> 00:03:20,261 -Hang on. Is that "A Few Good Men"? 71 00:03:22,061 --> 00:03:24,301 -Eleven songs is a lot to get through, that's all I'm saying. 72 00:03:24,381 --> 00:03:27,541 -Bernie, if we want to be throwing accusations around the place, 73 00:03:27,621 --> 00:03:29,901 I saw you earlier at the snack stand. 74 00:03:29,981 --> 00:03:32,421 Now, if you want a piece of fruit, go right ahead, 75 00:03:32,501 --> 00:03:35,421 but you don't have to maul every fucking apple in the bowl. 76 00:03:35,501 --> 00:03:37,621 -I was only looking for a soft one. 77 00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:40,741 -Well, I don't know where your hands have been, all right? 78 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,821 It's not nice to be criticized, is it, Bernie? 79 00:03:42,901 --> 00:03:46,661 So back the fuck off. Sorry. 80 00:03:46,741 --> 00:03:49,781 Okay, quickly on to stunts, and then we'll break. 81 00:03:49,861 --> 00:03:54,221 Nicola, over to you, and please be careful. 82 00:03:57,941 --> 00:04:01,261 -FRANK: Listen, P, about Doofus's song... 83 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:04,781 -Oh! Directing women... 84 00:04:04,861 --> 00:04:07,061 -is like herding cats, Frank. -Padraig! 85 00:04:07,141 --> 00:04:10,341 -And action! -He said 20 seconds. 86 00:04:10,421 --> 00:04:12,821 -He said 15. 87 00:04:12,901 --> 00:04:15,821 -I'm telling you, he said 20 seconds! -That's enough! 88 00:04:15,901 --> 00:04:17,741 -Ow! -Oh! 89 00:04:17,821 --> 00:04:19,381 -These stunts make no sense. 90 00:04:19,461 --> 00:04:21,821 -They're the best thing in the play. 91 00:04:21,941 --> 00:04:23,741 -You're only saying that 'cause you want Nicola to kiss your willy. 92 00:04:23,821 --> 00:04:25,261 -(screams) 93 00:04:25,341 --> 00:04:27,621 -Oh, fuck! 94 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:31,261 -Oh, my hip! I'm down! 95 00:04:31,381 --> 00:04:33,381 -Oh, for the love of God! 96 00:04:33,501 --> 00:04:35,581 That's the fourth juror we've lost since Tuesday! 97 00:04:35,661 --> 00:04:38,621 -She was supposed to go limp! -We open in less than an hour, 98 00:04:38,701 --> 00:04:40,141 we can't keep losing people. 99 00:04:40,221 --> 00:04:42,181 Shit. I'm gonna have to cut some of the action scenes. 100 00:04:42,261 --> 00:04:43,461 -DOOFUS: Whoa, whoa, whoa! 101 00:04:43,541 --> 00:04:44,701 What are you saying, Padraig? 102 00:04:44,781 --> 00:04:46,381 That women can't do action? 103 00:04:46,501 --> 00:04:47,781 -That's not what I'm saying at all! 104 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:48,941 But obviously Bernie here 105 00:04:49,061 --> 00:04:50,581 can't do a simple flip. 106 00:04:50,661 --> 00:04:52,341 -Don't fight my battles, Doofus. 107 00:04:52,381 --> 00:04:53,741 -No, I just-- I just like your work, that's all. 108 00:04:53,821 --> 00:04:55,541 Did you hear my song earlier? 109 00:04:55,621 --> 00:04:58,181 -No. I'm looking forward to it, though, I hear it's good. 110 00:04:58,261 --> 00:05:01,941 -Nicola, Nicola, Nicola, please. 111 00:05:02,061 --> 00:05:03,701 I love all the action stuff. 112 00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:06,381 But the name of the show is "Twelve Angry Women," 113 00:05:06,461 --> 00:05:08,221 and we're down to eight. 114 00:05:08,261 --> 00:05:09,741 Now, hopefully I can bunch them all together onstage 115 00:05:09,821 --> 00:05:11,781 and they won't notice the lack of numbers, 116 00:05:11,821 --> 00:05:13,501 but there's nine speaking parts. 117 00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:15,261 We're running out of options here. 118 00:05:15,341 --> 00:05:17,781 -Dad? I could switch to Bernie's part. 119 00:05:17,821 --> 00:05:20,581 That way I'd have a song. And I've basically been cut 120 00:05:20,661 --> 00:05:22,061 from everything else, so... 121 00:05:22,141 --> 00:05:24,181 -Right. 122 00:05:26,381 --> 00:05:28,781 Elaine, I love what you're doing, 123 00:05:28,821 --> 00:05:30,821 but I'm gonna have to get you to do Bernie's part, okay? 124 00:05:30,941 --> 00:05:32,581 We'll cut the stenographer. 125 00:05:32,661 --> 00:05:35,741 Right, let's take it up with the flip. 126 00:05:37,381 --> 00:05:39,501 Nicola, wait! 127 00:05:39,581 --> 00:05:41,101 Doofus, do you mind? 128 00:05:41,181 --> 00:05:43,141 Just once, to make sure it's safe. 129 00:05:43,221 --> 00:05:44,541 -Of course it's safe. 130 00:05:44,621 --> 00:05:46,861 -You loose? -Loose as a goose. 131 00:05:46,941 --> 00:05:48,341 -Yeah, I'm gonna grab your arm, okay? 132 00:05:48,421 --> 00:05:49,781 -Okay. -Are you with me? 133 00:05:49,861 --> 00:05:52,061 -I'm with you forever, Nicola. 134 00:05:52,141 --> 00:05:54,261 -You just need to go limp. It doesn't hurt if you go limp 135 00:05:54,341 --> 00:05:55,501 -Limp as a wimp. 136 00:05:55,581 --> 00:05:57,021 -Okay? -Yeah. 137 00:05:57,101 --> 00:05:59,421 (grunts, screams) 138 00:05:59,501 --> 00:06:01,821 (crowd gasps) 139 00:06:01,901 --> 00:06:03,341 (gasping) 140 00:06:03,421 --> 00:06:06,221 -Are you all right? -Yeah. 141 00:06:06,301 --> 00:06:08,541 -Did you go limp? -Yeah! 142 00:06:08,621 --> 00:06:09,901 -Are you sure? 'Cause Elaine's up next. 143 00:06:09,981 --> 00:06:12,101 If you're hurt, you need to say so now. 144 00:06:14,581 --> 00:06:16,941 -I'm fine. -Right. Get Elaine in. 145 00:06:17,021 --> 00:06:18,701 -Elaine! -(Doofus groaning) 146 00:06:18,781 --> 00:06:20,421 -FRANK: Hey, Padraig. 147 00:06:20,501 --> 00:06:23,301 It's the closing number. 148 00:06:23,381 --> 00:06:25,101 Let's just cut it, yeah? 149 00:06:25,181 --> 00:06:27,181 -I don't think Doofus will mind. -Go limp. 150 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,981 -No way, Frank. Doofus's song is the best thing in the play. 151 00:06:30,061 --> 00:06:31,461 -What are you talking about? 152 00:06:31,541 --> 00:06:32,981 -(Elaine screams) -(body thuds) 153 00:06:33,061 --> 00:06:35,661 -Oh, God damn it. 154 00:06:35,741 --> 00:06:37,141 She's down too, isn't she? 155 00:06:37,221 --> 00:06:39,581 -ELAINE: Frankie! -Aine! 156 00:06:39,661 --> 00:06:42,701 We need you. Call Peter-Brian. 157 00:06:42,781 --> 00:06:44,781 Tell him we need to patch up some more of the jurors. 158 00:06:44,861 --> 00:06:46,341 Everyone else, take ten. 159 00:06:56,101 --> 00:06:59,141 -Hey, Maelbhina. How you doing? 160 00:07:01,701 --> 00:07:04,341 -Well, I was in the Gaiety once, and now I'm here. 161 00:07:04,421 --> 00:07:06,381 -What does that tell you? -Your star has fallen? 162 00:07:06,461 --> 00:07:08,781 Listen, I was just saying to Padraig, 163 00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:10,661 and I think he agrees, 164 00:07:10,741 --> 00:07:13,221 let's cut that last number, right? 165 00:07:13,301 --> 00:07:15,141 -It's not exactly in keeping-- -Frank! 166 00:07:15,221 --> 00:07:17,581 Doofus' song is the only good thing in this whole, 167 00:07:17,661 --> 00:07:19,501 horrible mess. 168 00:07:19,581 --> 00:07:20,981 Forget the bullshit. 169 00:07:21,061 --> 00:07:23,021 Forget the other shitty songs. 170 00:07:23,101 --> 00:07:26,061 That piece is the reason I came back to musical theater. 171 00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:27,941 -But I wrote way more songs than him, 172 00:07:28,021 --> 00:07:29,981 -and he's gonna get all the credit! -He should. 173 00:07:30,061 --> 00:07:31,981 Half your songs are about the wrong movie, 174 00:07:32,061 --> 00:07:34,741 and the rest are clearly your old songs that you repurposed. 175 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,501 Four of them are about counties in Ireland! 176 00:07:37,581 --> 00:07:39,421 -"Livin' La Vida Carlow" 177 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,421 was written specifically for the piece. 178 00:07:42,501 --> 00:07:45,021 It's a metaphor for Tom Cruise's clash 179 00:07:45,101 --> 00:07:46,421 with corruption in the military. 180 00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:48,461 -I'm gonna sing Doofus' song, 181 00:07:48,541 --> 00:07:51,341 and it's gonna be the only thing people remember. 182 00:07:51,421 --> 00:07:53,901 Get used to it. 183 00:08:02,461 --> 00:08:04,541 -Is she gonna be okay? 184 00:08:04,621 --> 00:08:06,181 -She's 79 and her ribs are fucked. 185 00:08:07,501 --> 00:08:10,341 -Nicola! No more stunt rehearsals. 186 00:08:10,421 --> 00:08:13,141 Just wait'll you're onstage. -What about the chair shots? 187 00:08:13,221 --> 00:08:14,941 It's not safe not to rehearse the chair shots. 188 00:08:15,021 --> 00:08:18,701 -Fine. Rehearse the chair shots, but please be careful. 189 00:08:18,781 --> 00:08:21,781 -Of course. -How's it going? 190 00:08:21,861 --> 00:08:23,981 -Oh, it's a disaster. Bernie's out. 191 00:08:24,061 --> 00:08:26,701 Elaine here is in bits. 192 00:08:26,781 --> 00:08:28,381 And I've no one to cover their parts. 193 00:08:29,661 --> 00:08:31,501 Wait. Unless... 194 00:08:33,141 --> 00:08:35,501 Call Mary. Tell her if she learns the lines, she's in. 195 00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,181 But she has to be here in an hour! 196 00:08:37,261 --> 00:08:40,141 Let's get her out of sight. 197 00:08:44,381 --> 00:08:47,061 -Hey, Doofus. 198 00:08:47,141 --> 00:08:48,261 I was just talking to Melvs and Padraig. 199 00:08:48,341 --> 00:08:50,141 I think the general consensus is 200 00:08:50,221 --> 00:08:51,901 do one of my songs to close the show. Whaddaya think? 201 00:08:51,981 --> 00:08:53,541 -But it's the only one of my songs left. 202 00:08:53,661 --> 00:08:55,461 -You replaced all the others. -Did I? 203 00:08:55,541 --> 00:08:57,861 -Yeah. Anyway, I-- 204 00:08:57,901 --> 00:09:00,461 -I want Nicola to hear it. -Nicola? 205 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,101 -I know she's out of my league, Frank, 206 00:09:02,181 --> 00:09:03,741 but.. everybody else likes my song. 207 00:09:03,781 --> 00:09:05,661 If she hears it, and she thinks it's good... 208 00:09:05,781 --> 00:09:07,501 you never know. 209 00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:09,901 -Your song it is. 210 00:09:10,021 --> 00:09:11,101 -Yeah! -I hope she likes it. 211 00:09:11,181 --> 00:09:13,781 -Thanks, Frank! Hey, Nicola. 212 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,181 They're still gonna do my song at the end. 213 00:09:15,261 --> 00:09:17,021 -NICOLA: Oh, that's great! 214 00:09:20,541 --> 00:09:22,421 (crowd clamoring) 215 00:09:27,781 --> 00:09:29,261 -There's queues of people outside! 216 00:09:29,341 --> 00:09:30,461 It's a sellout! 217 00:09:30,541 --> 00:09:31,661 -Have you the lines? 218 00:09:31,741 --> 00:09:33,621 -Oh, forget the lines. 219 00:09:33,661 --> 00:09:35,381 Gotta give the people what they want. 220 00:09:35,461 --> 00:09:37,541 -Please, Mary, no vag this time. Last year-- 221 00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:39,781 -The show was "Mary Poppins," Padraig. 222 00:09:39,861 --> 00:09:42,301 There was bound to be some improv. 223 00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:44,421 -Okay, everyone? Ready to rehearse the chair shots? 224 00:09:46,101 --> 00:09:48,221 I'm gonna smack you with these fake chairs, okay? 225 00:09:48,301 --> 00:09:50,181 -WOMAN: Will it hurt? -NICOLA: Only if you're a pussy. 226 00:09:50,261 --> 00:09:53,781 -How are you, Bernie? -I can't walk. 227 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,661 -Look, as you can see, 228 00:09:55,781 --> 00:09:57,661 we're under quite a bit of pressure. 229 00:09:57,741 --> 00:10:00,181 I wonder if you could do me a teeny-weeny favor. 230 00:10:01,221 --> 00:10:05,541 Stop rubbing your grubby mits over every piece of fruit! 231 00:10:05,621 --> 00:10:07,781 I have it up to here, Bernie! Up to here! 232 00:10:07,861 --> 00:10:09,541 -I'm sorry. 233 00:10:09,661 --> 00:10:11,901 -NICOLA: Ready? -Sure. 234 00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:14,301 -Just remember, take it on the back, you'll be fine. 235 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,861 AINE: You a Yankees fan? 236 00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:17,661 -No, Baltimore! -Baltimore? 237 00:10:17,781 --> 00:10:19,101 That's like being hit in the head 238 00:10:19,181 --> 00:10:20,501 with a crowbar once a day! 239 00:10:20,541 --> 00:10:22,541 -(all laughing) -♪♪ (piano) 240 00:10:22,661 --> 00:10:23,901 -Hey! 241 00:10:26,741 --> 00:10:29,661 -Ow! -♪ Been there, Donegal ♪ 242 00:10:29,781 --> 00:10:30,861 ♪ Lots of lovely place-- ♪ 243 00:10:30,901 --> 00:10:32,781 (grunts) 244 00:10:32,901 --> 00:10:33,981 (body thuds) 245 00:10:34,061 --> 00:10:36,381 -(gasps) -(screams) 246 00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,741 -Somebody switched the chair. -What are we gonna do? 247 00:10:38,781 --> 00:10:41,021 -Somebody switched the chair. -We have to let them in. 248 00:10:41,101 --> 00:10:43,501 -Who switched the chair? -It doesn't matter, Nicola. 249 00:10:43,541 --> 00:10:45,261 -It doesn't matter. -Who's gonna play her part? 250 00:10:45,341 --> 00:10:48,461 -Aine, drag her backstage, will you? 251 00:10:48,541 --> 00:10:50,661 Stick her in with Elaine. 252 00:10:56,141 --> 00:10:58,061 We need to start the show. What are we going to do? 253 00:10:58,141 --> 00:10:59,741 -Do you want me to take Maelbhina's part? 254 00:10:59,781 --> 00:11:01,461 -You're already taking Bernie's part! 255 00:11:01,541 --> 00:11:03,941 -Dad, I know Maelbhina's lines, and Doofus' songs. 256 00:11:04,021 --> 00:11:06,421 -I know the whole parts. -Please don't let her do it. 257 00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:08,741 Oh, Aine, there's a lot riding on that song. No offense, darling. 258 00:11:08,821 --> 00:11:11,221 -What are you still doing back here? -I was looking after Maelbhina. 259 00:11:11,301 --> 00:11:13,021 -Any chance she'll... -No. 260 00:11:13,101 --> 00:11:14,381 -We need to figure out who switched that chair. 261 00:11:14,461 --> 00:11:16,101 -Aine's the one who's been 262 00:11:16,181 --> 00:11:19,061 stepping over Maelbhina's body to steal the closing number. 263 00:11:19,141 --> 00:11:20,821 -Maybe it was her? -AINE: Fuck you, Mary. 264 00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:22,501 -Where were you just before the accident? 265 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,021 -Nicola, you've been injuring people all week. 266 00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:25,661 Why don't you take some responsibility? 267 00:11:25,741 --> 00:11:27,181 -Maybe we should do one of my songs instead. 268 00:11:27,261 --> 00:11:29,621 -No, Frank! -Look, I don't care who did it. 269 00:11:29,701 --> 00:11:31,301 We need to start the show, we need to get someone 270 00:11:31,381 --> 00:11:33,221 to play Maelbhina's part, and that's that. 271 00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:34,861 There's only one option. 272 00:11:34,941 --> 00:11:37,781 Aine... 273 00:11:37,861 --> 00:11:40,261 Give me your wig. I'll play the part. 274 00:11:40,341 --> 00:11:42,621 We'll sort something out for the song by the end of the show. 275 00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:50,261 -Women of the jury, 276 00:11:50,341 --> 00:11:54,461 you've listened to a long and complex case. 277 00:11:54,541 --> 00:11:56,621 You have a grave responsibility. 278 00:11:56,701 --> 00:11:58,941 -What's wrong with you? -I just-- 279 00:11:59,021 --> 00:12:00,741 I wanted Nicola to like me. 280 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,581 Without Maelbhina to sing me songs-- 281 00:12:02,661 --> 00:12:04,141 -You'll get another girlfriend. 282 00:12:04,221 --> 00:12:05,541 -I don't want another girlfriend! 283 00:12:05,621 --> 00:12:07,701 I only wrote the song so Nicola'd like me. 284 00:12:07,781 --> 00:12:09,661 Now who's gonna sing it? Fuckin' Aine? 285 00:12:09,741 --> 00:12:12,941 -Because guilt is a terrible thing, 286 00:12:13,021 --> 00:12:16,581 and it weighs heavy on the sinful. 287 00:12:16,661 --> 00:12:20,061 So it falls to you twelve angr-- 288 00:12:20,141 --> 00:12:23,061 eight angry women to sort... 289 00:12:23,141 --> 00:12:26,301 the facts from the fancy. 290 00:12:26,381 --> 00:12:29,661 ♪♪ 291 00:12:29,741 --> 00:12:32,341 ♪ The facts from the fancy ♪ 292 00:12:32,421 --> 00:12:35,701 ♪ We can't take a chancy ♪ 293 00:12:35,781 --> 00:12:39,221 ♪ The jury's getting antsy ♪ 294 00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:41,021 ♪♪ 295 00:12:43,141 --> 00:12:44,181 (sighs) 296 00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,461 -Wake up, Maelbhina. 297 00:12:58,541 --> 00:13:00,901 Hey, Maelbhina, could you wake up, please? 298 00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,701 -"Twenty," he said! 299 00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:03,861 -That's enough. 300 00:13:05,821 --> 00:13:07,381 -Ow! 301 00:13:07,461 --> 00:13:10,181 -Right, Mary. Flip. -Fuck that. 302 00:13:10,261 --> 00:13:12,101 Elaine, you're up. 303 00:13:13,661 --> 00:13:15,421 -Oh, sorry, Elaine. Go limp. 304 00:13:15,501 --> 00:13:16,701 -No! 305 00:13:16,781 --> 00:13:18,341 -(crowd gasps) -(body thuds) 306 00:13:18,421 --> 00:13:20,301 -God damn it, Maelbhina, wake up! 307 00:13:20,381 --> 00:13:21,861 I've made a terrible mistake! 308 00:13:25,181 --> 00:13:26,501 (sobs) 309 00:13:28,381 --> 00:13:29,541 -What's going on here? 310 00:13:29,621 --> 00:13:30,781 -Have you been crying? 311 00:13:30,861 --> 00:13:33,821 -Everyone's being a cunt. 312 00:13:33,901 --> 00:13:36,741 -How are you enjoying the court case? 313 00:13:36,821 --> 00:13:38,781 -Oh, it's good. 314 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:42,741 But I do long to return to my home town of Fermanagh. 315 00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:45,301 -Right. 316 00:13:45,381 --> 00:13:46,861 -♪ Fermanagh from heaven ♪ 317 00:13:46,941 --> 00:13:49,221 ♪ Fermanagh from heaven ♪ 318 00:13:49,301 --> 00:13:52,861 ♪ A woman cannot live upon bread that's unleavened ♪ 319 00:13:52,941 --> 00:13:55,661 -Look, it's terrible, but we have no choice. 320 00:13:55,741 --> 00:13:57,421 Maybe we have to lose Doofus's song. 321 00:13:57,501 --> 00:13:59,181 -Frank. -Huh? 322 00:13:59,261 --> 00:14:00,981 -Have you something else we can use instead? 323 00:14:01,061 --> 00:14:04,941 -I know someone who can sing Doofus's song. 324 00:14:05,021 --> 00:14:06,421 They just need to believe in themselves. 325 00:14:09,541 --> 00:14:11,781 I think Doofus should sing it. 326 00:14:11,861 --> 00:14:14,781 -♪ Fermanagh, Fermanagh, Fermanagh, Fermanagh ♪ 327 00:14:14,861 --> 00:14:16,261 ♪ Fermanagh, Fermanagh ♪ 328 00:14:16,341 --> 00:14:17,741 -You can't give a man 329 00:14:17,821 --> 00:14:20,061 the last song in an all-female production. 330 00:14:20,141 --> 00:14:22,581 -Everyone deserves a chance. I think Doofus'd smash it. 331 00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,301 -You switched the chairs, didn't you? 332 00:14:24,381 --> 00:14:26,141 You were jealous. Now you feel guilty, 333 00:14:26,221 --> 00:14:27,341 so you wanna give Doofus his moment. 334 00:14:27,421 --> 00:14:28,741 -How dare you? 335 00:14:28,821 --> 00:14:30,061 -Don't be pointing fingers. -Yeah. 336 00:14:30,141 --> 00:14:31,701 I did not switch anything. 337 00:14:31,781 --> 00:14:33,181 I think Doofus could do a good job. 338 00:14:33,261 --> 00:14:34,741 -I could do it. 339 00:14:34,821 --> 00:14:35,981 -You lack Maelbhina's sultry charm, 340 00:14:36,061 --> 00:14:38,101 her easy way with her body. 341 00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:40,581 Face it, Doofus is more suited to the part. 342 00:14:40,661 --> 00:14:42,341 -Oh, forget Doofus! 343 00:14:42,421 --> 00:14:44,101 -Put me in, Coach. -I'm telling you. 344 00:14:44,181 --> 00:14:45,261 -Quiet! 345 00:14:45,341 --> 00:14:47,581 -(singing in distance) 346 00:14:47,661 --> 00:14:48,861 -Fuck! It's the group scene! 347 00:14:48,941 --> 00:14:51,181 Quick! Places, everyone! Everyone, quick! 348 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,301 -Some of the script changes Padraig made are atrocious. 349 00:14:57,381 --> 00:15:00,661 -Mrs. Forewoman, I'd like to change my vote. 350 00:15:00,741 --> 00:15:02,981 -Not guilty -What? 351 00:15:03,061 --> 00:15:06,421 Anybody else wanna change their vote? 352 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:11,381 -PADRAIG: That's women for you. 353 00:15:11,461 --> 00:15:13,421 (rimshot) 354 00:15:15,221 --> 00:15:18,901 -Whew! It's the first act over. 355 00:15:18,981 --> 00:15:21,061 Couple of hitches, but we're still in the game. 356 00:15:21,141 --> 00:15:23,461 Maelbhina hasn't magically come back to life, has she? 357 00:15:23,541 --> 00:15:25,421 -No. -We need to talk about the issue at hand. 358 00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:27,141 -Yeah. Who's singing the closing number? 359 00:15:27,221 --> 00:15:30,381 -No, not that. Someone here hurt Maelbhina. 360 00:15:30,461 --> 00:15:32,861 We don't know who. All you guys seem to be worried about 361 00:15:32,941 --> 00:15:34,501 is who is gonna sing that stupid song. 362 00:15:34,581 --> 00:15:35,901 -You're right. I'm singing it. 363 00:15:35,981 --> 00:15:37,861 -It's literally the best part of the play, darling. 364 00:15:37,941 --> 00:15:39,501 We don't wanna fuck it up. And I don't mean 365 00:15:39,581 --> 00:15:41,821 anything bad by that. What time is it? 366 00:15:41,901 --> 00:15:43,941 We better push on with the second act. Where's Mary? 367 00:15:44,021 --> 00:15:45,741 -Okay! Let's do this. 368 00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:48,301 -What are you wearing? 369 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:52,061 -It's military. -It's Juror 6's big number. 370 00:15:52,141 --> 00:15:53,741 It's a serious moment-- 371 00:15:53,821 --> 00:15:56,821 "We Follow Orders or People Die," 372 00:15:56,901 --> 00:15:58,621 and God damn it, Frank, 373 00:15:58,701 --> 00:16:00,501 I just realized that's from "A Few Good Men." 374 00:16:01,501 --> 00:16:02,581 "A Few Good Women." 375 00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:03,861 ♪♪ 376 00:16:03,941 --> 00:16:06,261 -♪ Santiago ♪ 377 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,861 ♪ Private first class ♪ 378 00:16:08,941 --> 00:16:11,261 ♪ Santiago ♪ 379 00:16:11,341 --> 00:16:14,341 ♪ He hasn't been seen in a while ♪ 380 00:16:14,421 --> 00:16:16,461 -The audience is turning. -Shouldn't you be out there playing? 381 00:16:16,541 --> 00:16:17,861 -I don't play live. 382 00:16:17,941 --> 00:16:20,781 Doofus has my parts on his laptop. 383 00:16:20,861 --> 00:16:24,061 -Dad, can you just decide who's doing the last number? 384 00:16:24,141 --> 00:16:26,181 I've been doing extensive vocal training 385 00:16:26,261 --> 00:16:27,541 with Peter-Brian for the past month. 386 00:16:27,621 --> 00:16:30,941 -I really think I could-- -Nobody is going back on that stage 387 00:16:31,021 --> 00:16:33,341 till I find out who switched that fucking chair. 388 00:16:33,421 --> 00:16:34,741 And I'm looking at you, Frank. 389 00:16:34,821 --> 00:16:36,661 -Nicola, you snotty little bastard. 390 00:16:36,741 --> 00:16:39,301 -Frank-- -I'm not the one on trial here. 391 00:16:39,381 --> 00:16:42,341 -♪ Seen in a while ♪ 392 00:16:42,421 --> 00:16:43,661 ♪♪ 393 00:16:45,581 --> 00:16:47,981 -(scattered applause) -Thank you. 394 00:16:48,061 --> 00:16:53,021 And with that, I shall bring in the rest of the jury. 395 00:16:53,101 --> 00:16:56,021 -Two minutes. Just vamp it. 396 00:16:56,101 --> 00:16:57,821 -Oh. 397 00:16:57,901 --> 00:17:00,101 So... 398 00:17:00,181 --> 00:17:01,781 would you like to see the song again? 399 00:17:03,661 --> 00:17:05,021 -Did you switch those chairs? 400 00:17:05,101 --> 00:17:06,421 -Did I order the code red on Maelbhina? 401 00:17:06,501 --> 00:17:08,381 No! I did not! -Did you switch the chairs? 402 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:09,661 What do you want Nicola? 403 00:17:09,741 --> 00:17:11,461 Do you want me to sleep with you again? 404 00:17:11,541 --> 00:17:12,781 -Is that what you want? -Frank, I want the truth! 405 00:17:12,821 --> 00:17:15,101 -You can't handle the fruit! 406 00:17:15,221 --> 00:17:16,301 Bernie! How many times? 407 00:17:17,821 --> 00:17:19,541 -I think I need to go to hospital. 408 00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:21,301 -Well, fucking go! 409 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,901 -Well? -You people. 410 00:17:23,981 --> 00:17:27,021 You have no idea how to protect a production. 411 00:17:27,101 --> 00:17:28,981 Maelbhina's accident, while tragic, 412 00:17:29,061 --> 00:17:31,061 -probably saved lives. -Did you switch the chair? 413 00:17:31,101 --> 00:17:33,261 -I did the job I was hired to do. -Did you switch the chair? 414 00:17:33,341 --> 00:17:34,981 -You're goddamn right I did! 415 00:17:35,061 --> 00:17:37,781 -(gasps) Wha-- 416 00:17:37,821 --> 00:17:40,301 Frank, you piece of shit! 417 00:17:43,341 --> 00:17:45,541 You took out Maelbhina. 418 00:17:47,021 --> 00:17:48,301 -No, wait, Doofus! 419 00:17:48,341 --> 00:17:49,821 I'm sorry! 420 00:17:49,941 --> 00:17:51,581 Doofus! 421 00:17:51,661 --> 00:17:53,421 (both screaming) 422 00:17:53,501 --> 00:17:55,981 -You ruined my songs! -I had no choice! 423 00:17:56,061 --> 00:17:58,061 -You wrecked my chances with Nicola! 424 00:17:58,101 --> 00:18:01,341 Now she'll never kiss my willy! 425 00:18:01,421 --> 00:18:04,981 -I was just-- -Fuck you, Frank. 426 00:18:05,061 --> 00:18:07,061 The best buddies gang is over. 427 00:18:07,741 --> 00:18:09,221 -The what? 428 00:18:10,101 --> 00:18:13,021 -(sobs) 429 00:18:13,101 --> 00:18:14,101 I hope you're happy. 430 00:18:15,781 --> 00:18:16,821 (grunts) 431 00:18:24,461 --> 00:18:26,101 Maelbhina! 432 00:18:26,221 --> 00:18:28,421 (panting) 433 00:18:32,661 --> 00:18:33,741 (soft horn honk) 434 00:18:36,501 --> 00:18:39,101 (horn blasts) 435 00:18:39,181 --> 00:18:42,181 -Maelbhina... -What's happening? 436 00:18:42,261 --> 00:18:44,901 -You're a professional, right? 437 00:18:44,981 --> 00:18:47,541 You played the Gaeity, right? 438 00:18:47,581 --> 00:18:48,701 Yeah. 439 00:18:50,221 --> 00:18:51,781 Let's get you ready 440 00:18:51,821 --> 00:18:53,701 for the performance of your life. 441 00:18:55,341 --> 00:18:57,101 -Look, we've no choice. 442 00:18:57,221 --> 00:19:00,581 I'm sorry to say the closing number will be sung by Aine. 443 00:19:00,701 --> 00:19:02,461 -Oh, fucking Jesus. 444 00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:05,101 -Oh, God, it's fucked. -(sobbing) 445 00:19:05,221 --> 00:19:06,741 -Thank you, Dad. I won't let you down. 446 00:19:06,821 --> 00:19:08,101 -FRANK: Not so fast. 447 00:19:08,221 --> 00:19:09,781 Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you 448 00:19:09,821 --> 00:19:11,581 the incomparable Maelbhina. 449 00:19:11,701 --> 00:19:13,941 -Thank Christ. Aine, you're out. 450 00:19:14,021 --> 00:19:15,821 -What? -Oh, thank you, Frank. 451 00:19:15,901 --> 00:19:17,821 -No need to thank me, little britches. 452 00:19:17,901 --> 00:19:20,301 -Nicola, you gonna watch? -Sure, Doofus. 453 00:19:20,341 --> 00:19:21,781 Let's see what all the fuss is about. 454 00:19:21,821 --> 00:19:23,181 -We got a crowd to blow away, Doofus, 455 00:19:23,261 --> 00:19:24,581 Now, get out there and break a leg. 456 00:19:24,661 --> 00:19:27,021 -Yeah! Oh, fuck! 457 00:19:27,101 --> 00:19:28,821 -Oh! -Is she good to go? 458 00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,901 She's a professional, Peter-Brian. 459 00:19:36,581 --> 00:19:38,341 -You're the best. 460 00:19:38,461 --> 00:19:41,421 -Eh... Padraig... Frank? 461 00:19:41,501 --> 00:19:43,821 -Ladies and gentlemen, before the closing number... 462 00:19:43,941 --> 00:19:45,941 you've heard a lot of great music this evening, 463 00:19:46,021 --> 00:19:47,541 but I'm not responsible 464 00:19:47,581 --> 00:19:48,741 for everything you're gonna hear tonight. 465 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:52,341 Because this next song was written by my best friend, 466 00:19:52,421 --> 00:19:54,101 Doofus MacGiollagán. 467 00:19:54,221 --> 00:19:56,021 and he deserves full credit for it. 468 00:19:56,101 --> 00:19:57,821 Now, stand up Doofus! Take a bow! 469 00:19:57,901 --> 00:19:59,781 (scattered applause) 470 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:02,701 Take it away, Doofs! 471 00:20:05,581 --> 00:20:07,941 Oh, careful, Maelbhina. Mind that lace. 472 00:20:08,021 --> 00:20:11,821 -Huh? Oh? Oh! 473 00:20:11,941 --> 00:20:14,301 (all gasping) 474 00:20:14,341 --> 00:20:15,821 -Oh, shit! 475 00:20:20,821 --> 00:20:24,501 -Ugh. It'll have to be Aine. Balls. 476 00:20:24,581 --> 00:20:26,101 -Thanks, darling. 477 00:20:26,221 --> 00:20:27,901 -Let's get this over with. 478 00:20:27,981 --> 00:20:29,501 -Okay. 479 00:20:30,821 --> 00:20:33,181 -Aine, Aine... 480 00:20:33,261 --> 00:20:34,941 I believe in you. 481 00:20:54,101 --> 00:20:55,701 -DOOFUS: Oh, for fuck's sake. 482 00:20:58,901 --> 00:21:00,461 -(exhales) 483 00:21:06,101 --> 00:21:07,661 (loud whisper) You-- You start! 484 00:21:07,741 --> 00:21:09,101 It starts with singing! 485 00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:12,421 -What's my first note? 486 00:21:12,501 --> 00:21:15,341 ♪♪ 487 00:21:17,061 --> 00:21:23,101 -(warbling) ♪ A woman's life ♪ -(fiddle note) 488 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:25,181 -No. -It's too high. 489 00:21:25,261 --> 00:21:26,661 -All right. -(fiddle note) 490 00:21:28,741 --> 00:21:33,101 -(atonally) ♪ A woman's life ♪ 491 00:21:33,221 --> 00:21:34,901 ♪ Hangs in the ♪ 492 00:21:34,981 --> 00:21:39,221 (warbling) ♪ Balance ♪ 493 00:21:41,221 --> 00:21:42,581 Stop it. 494 00:21:42,661 --> 00:21:44,301 Stop it. Go back to the start. 495 00:21:44,341 --> 00:21:46,341 Look, Doofus, please go back to the start. 496 00:21:46,461 --> 00:21:47,781 -You're fucking it up! -Please, Doofus. 497 00:21:47,821 --> 00:21:51,341 (clapping) 498 00:21:51,461 --> 00:21:53,301 -(popping) -Whoa! 499 00:21:53,341 --> 00:21:54,701 Well, there you go. 500 00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,781 That was... 501 00:21:56,861 --> 00:21:59,741 Doofus's song. 502 00:21:59,821 --> 00:22:01,781 That's the ending of the show. That's the end. 503 00:22:01,861 --> 00:22:03,221 He was not guilty. 504 00:22:03,301 --> 00:22:04,661 She was not guilty. Women are as good as men. 505 00:22:04,741 --> 00:22:06,941 Thank you very much, everyone, good night! 506 00:22:07,021 --> 00:22:09,101 -MAN: Get off the stage! -(crowd booing) 507 00:22:09,181 --> 00:22:12,021 -Fuck it. -What's she doing? 508 00:22:13,221 --> 00:22:14,981 (Frank grunting) 509 00:22:18,581 --> 00:22:20,341 (Frank groaning) 510 00:22:27,101 --> 00:22:28,181 ♪♪ 511 00:22:32,941 --> 00:22:35,461 (applause) 512 00:22:35,541 --> 00:22:38,021 ♪♪ ("Dynamite Exploded" by Honey and the Bees") 513 00:22:39,861 --> 00:22:41,821 -♪ Just like fire ♪ 514 00:22:41,901 --> 00:22:43,981 ♪ Fire, fire ♪ 515 00:22:44,061 --> 00:22:47,621 ♪ My poor heart is breaking ♪ 516 00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:51,181 ♪ Desire, desire ♪ 517 00:22:51,261 --> 00:22:54,701 ♪ My poor heart is in ♪ 518 00:22:54,781 --> 00:22:57,781 ♪ Danger, girl in distress ♪ 519 00:22:57,861 --> 00:23:01,821 ♪ Breathing in gets hard ♪ 520 00:23:01,901 --> 00:23:04,741 ♪ Longing for you, baby ♪ 521 00:23:04,821 --> 00:23:08,341 ♪ It's tearing me apart ♪ 522 00:23:08,421 --> 00:23:11,981 ♪ Oh, patience is what you cause ♪ 523 00:23:12,061 --> 00:23:14,381 ♪ Deep down in my heart ♪ 524 00:23:14,461 --> 00:23:16,341 ♪ A big explosion ♪ 525 00:23:16,421 --> 00:23:17,781 ♪♪ (ends)