1 00:00:05,381 --> 00:00:06,621 -AINE: I'm sorry. 2 00:00:06,701 --> 00:00:07,981 I know it must seem very sudden. 3 00:00:08,061 --> 00:00:10,981 -No, no, no, I'm delighted for you. 4 00:00:11,061 --> 00:00:13,381 Delighted. 5 00:00:13,461 --> 00:00:15,541 When do you... 6 00:00:15,621 --> 00:00:17,101 move in to his place? 7 00:00:18,461 --> 00:00:20,381 -Mmm... The end of the week. 8 00:00:20,461 --> 00:00:24,181 -That's so soon. That's great. 9 00:00:24,221 --> 00:00:26,661 -Part of me will always love you, Frank, 10 00:00:26,741 --> 00:00:28,741 -but Peter-Brian's-- -Which part? 11 00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:31,541 -Peter-Brian's a doctor. -No, which part? 12 00:00:31,621 --> 00:00:34,741 -Pardon me? -Which part of you will always love me? 13 00:00:34,821 --> 00:00:37,061 -Oh. 14 00:00:37,101 --> 00:00:39,421 My self-loathing, probably. 15 00:00:39,461 --> 00:00:41,301 -Hmm. 16 00:00:41,381 --> 00:00:43,941 -I didn't mean that in a good way. 17 00:00:48,461 --> 00:00:50,261 We're having a party the day I move in-- 18 00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:53,861 -Can I move in too? -I don't think so, no. 19 00:00:53,941 --> 00:00:55,621 -Well, I just-- I guess I just always assumed 20 00:00:55,701 --> 00:00:57,861 that when my mam dies it'd be you who takes care of me. 21 00:00:59,301 --> 00:01:01,341 Please don't move in with him. 22 00:01:01,421 --> 00:01:04,061 Please don't move in with him, Aine. 23 00:01:04,141 --> 00:01:05,541 -I'm gonna leave, Frank. 24 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,301 -Aine? 25 00:01:11,381 --> 00:01:13,221 -Yes, Frank? 26 00:01:14,581 --> 00:01:16,301 -You should take out the recycling. 27 00:01:22,861 --> 00:01:24,421 -Would sir like dessert? 28 00:01:26,301 --> 00:01:29,181 -She's moving on, Doofus. 29 00:01:29,261 --> 00:01:30,701 I'm losing her. 30 00:01:33,621 --> 00:01:35,901 Just the cheesecake, please. 31 00:01:40,541 --> 00:01:42,901 -MARY: And you're sure you can't move in with them? 32 00:01:42,981 --> 00:01:44,701 -Mam, I asked. 33 00:01:44,781 --> 00:01:46,221 -So you're definitely staying with me? 34 00:01:46,301 --> 00:01:48,501 -Yeah, of course I am! -Frank... 35 00:01:48,581 --> 00:01:51,141 I'm having difficulty making the house payments. 36 00:01:51,221 --> 00:01:54,061 -Uh-oh. -So I'm moving my boyfriend in. 37 00:01:54,141 --> 00:01:56,781 -Boyfriend? Who is it? 38 00:01:56,861 --> 00:01:58,621 It's not that guy. 39 00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:00,301 -Hi, guys! I'm Richard. 40 00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:03,061 -Shh! Richard. 41 00:02:03,141 --> 00:02:05,421 I convinced Richard to leave his wife and kids for me. 42 00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:07,821 He'll be paying rent, but realistically, 43 00:02:07,901 --> 00:02:09,101 I'm going to need more money-- 44 00:02:09,181 --> 00:02:10,541 -Whoa, Whoa! I'm paying rent? 45 00:02:10,621 --> 00:02:12,381 -Richard, I'm trying to talk here. 46 00:02:12,461 --> 00:02:14,261 -FRANK: I'm not paying rent, Mam. 47 00:02:14,341 --> 00:02:15,581 What's the point in me doing my chores 48 00:02:15,621 --> 00:02:17,181 if I give you my pocket money back as rent? 49 00:02:17,301 --> 00:02:18,461 Come on. 50 00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:22,461 -How many kids do you have, Richard? 51 00:02:22,541 --> 00:02:24,461 -I have three kids. 52 00:02:24,541 --> 00:02:26,741 -You had three kids. 53 00:02:27,461 --> 00:02:28,621 (camera shutter snaps) 54 00:02:28,741 --> 00:02:30,781 (chuckles) 55 00:02:30,861 --> 00:02:32,821 -Look at his face. -(chuckles) 56 00:02:39,461 --> 00:02:41,541 -He just keeps eating cheese. 57 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:45,261 -He's so fucking posh. 58 00:02:45,341 --> 00:02:48,261 -Do you ever wonder what it would be like to live in a house like that? 59 00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:49,981 -No. We're not here to appreciate 60 00:02:50,061 --> 00:02:51,701 Peter-Brian's house, Doofus. 61 00:02:51,781 --> 00:02:54,301 We're here for dirt, proof that he's cheating on Aine. 62 00:02:54,381 --> 00:02:55,781 -It doesn't look like he's cheating on Aine. 63 00:02:55,861 --> 00:02:57,221 -He's a doctor. 64 00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:58,661 Of course he's cheating on Aine. 65 00:02:58,741 --> 00:03:00,421 All we have to do is catch him in the act. 66 00:03:00,501 --> 00:03:01,941 -You still wanna do the flaming bag of dog poo 67 00:03:02,021 --> 00:03:03,061 on his doorstep? 68 00:03:04,261 --> 00:03:06,221 -It's a little unsophisticated, 69 00:03:06,301 --> 00:03:08,541 -but yes, please. -Okay. 70 00:03:09,701 --> 00:03:11,661 -Ta-da! -Jesus Christ. 71 00:03:11,741 --> 00:03:13,941 -What's wrong? -Where to start? 72 00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:16,021 First, it's supposed to be a paper bag. 73 00:03:16,101 --> 00:03:17,701 We can't set fire to that, it's a biohazard. 74 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,061 -It kept seeping out through the paper bags. 75 00:03:19,141 --> 00:03:20,301 -Second, why is it liquid dog poo? 76 00:03:20,381 --> 00:03:21,941 -It's not liquid dog poo. 77 00:03:22,021 --> 00:03:23,421 -It's not solid, that's for sure. 78 00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:25,101 -No, it's not-- it's not dog poo. 79 00:03:26,501 --> 00:03:27,821 -What kind of poo is it? 80 00:03:29,261 --> 00:03:30,661 -It's Doofus poo. 81 00:03:32,621 --> 00:03:33,901 -God, Doofus. 82 00:03:35,221 --> 00:03:36,781 Give me the lighter. 83 00:03:46,901 --> 00:03:48,021 -Watch out, Frank! 84 00:03:48,101 --> 00:03:49,781 -Frank? -Peter-Brian. 85 00:03:51,541 --> 00:03:53,421 -What are you doing here? -I was in the neighborhood, 86 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:54,781 and I wanted to say congratulations 87 00:03:54,861 --> 00:03:56,581 on Aine moving in and... 88 00:03:58,181 --> 00:04:00,941 -I brought you this. -What is it? 89 00:04:01,021 --> 00:04:02,661 -It's from Doofus. 90 00:04:02,741 --> 00:04:04,981 He's sick. It's a sample. 91 00:04:05,061 --> 00:04:06,781 -Oh, right. 92 00:04:06,861 --> 00:04:07,981 Well, come on in. 93 00:04:08,061 --> 00:04:09,341 Leave the bag, yeah? 94 00:04:13,741 --> 00:04:16,501 -No! No, Frank! Frank, no, no! 95 00:04:16,581 --> 00:04:19,221 -(cawing) -(door closes) 96 00:04:21,221 --> 00:04:23,381 -Wow. This is really nice. 97 00:04:23,501 --> 00:04:24,821 -Yeah, thanks. Whiskey? 98 00:04:24,901 --> 00:04:26,581 Aine goes mad if I touch the stuff, 99 00:04:26,661 --> 00:04:29,221 but, you know, when the cat's away... 100 00:04:29,261 --> 00:04:33,341 -Huh. Yeah, maybe one. 101 00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:35,541 (men laughing) 102 00:04:35,621 --> 00:04:37,661 -She can't dance. -She can't dance. 103 00:04:37,741 --> 00:04:39,621 She thinks she can dance, but she can't dance. 104 00:04:39,701 --> 00:04:42,821 -All elbows. -She says I'm a messy drunk. 105 00:04:42,941 --> 00:04:45,581 -That's bullshit. You're a great drunk. 106 00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:47,821 -And she won't let me listen to my podcasts 107 00:04:47,941 --> 00:04:49,141 when we're going to sleep. 108 00:04:49,221 --> 00:04:51,261 -Outrageous. What's a podcast? 109 00:04:51,381 --> 00:04:53,381 (laughs) 110 00:04:56,901 --> 00:04:59,581 -Ah. Look, she's a good girl, really, 111 00:04:59,661 --> 00:05:02,101 and I don't mean that in a patronizing way. 112 00:05:02,181 --> 00:05:05,621 You know, I actually think she'll be very happy here... 113 00:05:05,701 --> 00:05:08,501 -Well, thanks for saying that. 114 00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:13,021 What do you do for fun, Frank? 115 00:05:13,101 --> 00:05:16,581 -Last week me and Doofus did the 7-D experience in town. 116 00:05:16,661 --> 00:05:18,501 You sit in a cramped eight-seater room 117 00:05:18,581 --> 00:05:20,261 and watch animated movies 118 00:05:20,341 --> 00:05:21,621 while an Eastern European man spritzes you 119 00:05:21,701 --> 00:05:23,221 with water to simulate rain. 120 00:05:23,261 --> 00:05:25,621 -That's one of the dimensions. -That sounds... 121 00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:27,261 -The seventh dimension is bubbles. 122 00:05:27,341 --> 00:05:30,101 -You wanna know what I do for fun? 123 00:05:30,181 --> 00:05:32,501 ♪♪ 124 00:05:43,741 --> 00:05:45,461 -This is the coolest thing I've ever seen. 125 00:05:45,541 --> 00:05:46,661 -Yeah, I thought you might like it. 126 00:05:46,741 --> 00:05:48,021 You ever bow and arrowed? 127 00:05:48,101 --> 00:05:49,781 I was competitive in college. 128 00:05:49,861 --> 00:05:51,421 You know, we should go to the range sometime-- 129 00:05:51,501 --> 00:05:52,981 -Tomorrow. What about tomorrow? 130 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:56,021 -Oh, tomorrow-- -I want to be with you. 131 00:05:56,101 --> 00:05:58,741 -Sorry, was that a bit intense? 132 00:05:58,821 --> 00:06:00,221 -No, I liked it. 133 00:06:00,781 --> 00:06:02,381 -(chuckles) Okay. 134 00:06:02,461 --> 00:06:05,141 -Till tomorrow. -Yeah. Yeah. 135 00:06:05,221 --> 00:06:07,661 Okay. 136 00:06:07,741 --> 00:06:10,301 -Ciao. (sighs) 137 00:06:10,381 --> 00:06:11,461 -(door closes) -Frank! 138 00:06:11,541 --> 00:06:12,981 -Doofus! Why are you still here? 139 00:06:13,061 --> 00:06:14,341 Get out of there. 140 00:06:14,421 --> 00:06:15,581 Jesus. 141 00:06:18,341 --> 00:06:20,861 -You don't like him, do you, Frank? 142 00:06:20,941 --> 00:06:22,141 -Who? 143 00:06:22,221 --> 00:06:24,221 -You know who I mean. 144 00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:29,221 -I'm just hanging with him to get dirt. 145 00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:31,821 It's like Tim Roth in "Reservoir Dogs." 146 00:06:31,901 --> 00:06:34,501 I mean, tonight was probably the most fun I've had with anyone in ages, but... 147 00:06:36,461 --> 00:06:39,661 See, he has this knack of putting me totally at ease, 148 00:06:39,741 --> 00:06:43,461 really feel I can be myself when I'm around him. 149 00:06:43,541 --> 00:06:46,221 Like, I actually like myself when I'm with him. 150 00:06:46,301 --> 00:06:48,061 Nothing sexual or anything. I hate him. 151 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,901 Why hasn't he texted? 152 00:06:49,981 --> 00:06:51,261 -(phone buzzes) -(taps keyboard) 153 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:56,421 -OMG, that's a gas. -What is it? 154 00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:59,221 -Nothing. Just... Peter-Brian's an awful eejit. 155 00:06:59,301 --> 00:07:00,941 -Let me see! Let me see! -No! 156 00:07:04,301 --> 00:07:06,821 -Ciao, guys. Excusez-moi. 157 00:07:09,941 --> 00:07:11,421 -Pardon me. Who might you be? 158 00:07:11,501 --> 00:07:14,621 -Oh, pardon. Me Stephane. 159 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,821 -I'm Frank. This is Doofus. 160 00:07:16,901 --> 00:07:20,061 -Hello. -Ah, Frankie! 161 00:07:20,141 --> 00:07:22,101 -We share a room, no? -I hope not. 162 00:07:22,181 --> 00:07:24,661 -(chuckles) -(urine splashing) 163 00:07:24,741 --> 00:07:27,341 -Why hasn't Stephane got any pubes, Frank? 164 00:07:27,421 --> 00:07:30,221 He's old enough. 165 00:07:30,301 --> 00:07:32,941 -Real men, we shave... 166 00:07:33,021 --> 00:07:34,981 for... how you say... 167 00:07:35,061 --> 00:07:36,701 aerodynamics. 168 00:07:36,781 --> 00:07:37,861 Huh? (chuckles) 169 00:07:37,941 --> 00:07:40,781 -Huh? -(penis slapping) 170 00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,581 -MARY: Stephane, did you find everything? 171 00:07:42,661 --> 00:07:45,901 Oh! Well, you obviously didn't find a towel! 172 00:07:45,981 --> 00:07:47,821 (both laughing) 173 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:52,421 -(penis slapping) -(laughter continues) 174 00:07:52,501 --> 00:07:55,261 -Stephane's a student. He's lodging here too. 175 00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:57,581 Means I'll finally have the mortgage covered. 176 00:07:57,661 --> 00:08:00,821 -Mary, you got anywhere I can put-- 177 00:08:00,901 --> 00:08:03,821 Hello. Who's this? 178 00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:07,301 -Richard, come outside. We need to talk. 179 00:08:14,301 --> 00:08:16,141 -Breathe. 180 00:08:17,461 --> 00:08:19,061 Now draw back... 181 00:08:19,141 --> 00:08:21,261 elbow raised... 182 00:08:21,341 --> 00:08:22,541 focus down range. 183 00:08:23,661 --> 00:08:25,261 And now, when you're ready... 184 00:08:25,341 --> 00:08:27,781 release. 185 00:08:27,861 --> 00:08:29,981 -(arrow strikes) -Hey! 186 00:08:30,061 --> 00:08:32,461 I can't believe you finally hit one! Ha-ha! 187 00:08:32,541 --> 00:08:34,421 -Whoo! Got one! -Whoo! 188 00:08:34,501 --> 00:08:37,301 -Doofus! What the hell are you doing? 189 00:08:37,381 --> 00:08:39,861 -Just.. gramming. 190 00:08:39,901 --> 00:08:42,981 -Get the fuck off the range! 191 00:08:43,061 --> 00:08:45,461 Come on. Let's go hit the spa. 192 00:08:49,021 --> 00:08:50,861 -Stop looking at me like that. 193 00:08:50,901 --> 00:08:52,101 -I can't help it. 194 00:08:52,181 --> 00:08:53,541 -So I like him, okay? 195 00:08:53,661 --> 00:08:54,901 Get over it. Get in! 196 00:08:55,021 --> 00:08:56,541 -I can't. -Why not? 197 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,261 -I shaved my pubes, okay? -What-- 198 00:08:59,781 --> 00:09:01,661 (groaning) 199 00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:05,181 -Keep your voice down. -Look at him. 200 00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:11,061 -Just get some dirt. -Yeah, I-- 201 00:09:11,141 --> 00:09:13,421 You're not Tim Roth in "Reservoir Dogs," Frank. 202 00:09:13,501 --> 00:09:15,541 You're Kevin Costner in "Dances With Wolves," 203 00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:18,101 seduced by the culture and lifestyle of your enemy. 204 00:09:18,181 --> 00:09:19,901 You're not even trying to break up him and Aine. 205 00:09:20,021 --> 00:09:21,301 -I am. Now would you please just... 206 00:09:21,381 --> 00:09:23,901 -Ahh, fuck it. 207 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:27,181 That is nice. 208 00:09:27,261 --> 00:09:28,901 Come on, Doofus. Sit down. 209 00:09:29,021 --> 00:09:30,181 -Okay. 210 00:09:32,181 --> 00:09:35,661 (wailing) 211 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,541 Fuck it... 212 00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:38,621 (winces) 213 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,461 So... what's up, Peebs? 214 00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:43,341 -Oh, you know, nothin' much. 215 00:09:43,421 --> 00:09:46,501 -You nervous about Aine moving in? That's natural. 216 00:09:46,541 --> 00:09:49,541 Have you been thinking about other people or anything? You ever cheated on her? 217 00:09:49,621 --> 00:09:52,021 -Sorry, Peebers. I think what Doofus is trying to say-- 218 00:09:52,101 --> 00:09:55,621 -No, no, it's fine. I mean, we're all men here, am I right, guys? 219 00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:57,621 -Yeah, but I don't think-- -We're all dudes here. 220 00:09:57,661 --> 00:09:59,061 Absolutely, right? Listen-- 221 00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:01,061 Whatever you choose to share with us, 222 00:10:01,141 --> 00:10:03,661 our lips are sealed, whether it involves men, women or children. 223 00:10:03,781 --> 00:10:05,061 Not children. 224 00:10:08,021 --> 00:10:09,501 -That was outrageous back there. 225 00:10:09,541 --> 00:10:11,301 -I was sticking to the plan. 226 00:10:11,381 --> 00:10:13,221 -I wish I was in Peter-Brian's red car. 227 00:10:16,381 --> 00:10:18,861 -Look, I know you're upset, okay? 228 00:10:18,901 --> 00:10:22,661 But I've got something in my pocket that might cheer you up. 229 00:10:22,781 --> 00:10:25,101 Oh, my pubes. 230 00:10:25,181 --> 00:10:27,781 Ta-da. Two tickets... 231 00:10:27,901 --> 00:10:29,621 for you and me, for the Viking Splash Tour. 232 00:10:29,661 --> 00:10:31,381 What do you say? 233 00:10:34,141 --> 00:10:36,181 -I don't know, Doofus. 234 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:39,901 I'm into mature stuff now, like archery and whiskey. 235 00:10:40,021 --> 00:10:42,261 And two tickets? What about PB? 236 00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:45,181 -I wanted to do something for us, Frank. 237 00:10:45,261 --> 00:10:47,021 What's happening to us? 238 00:10:50,861 --> 00:10:53,541 -Doofus, I'm sorry. 239 00:10:53,661 --> 00:10:56,141 I would love to come to the Viking Splash Tour with you. 240 00:10:57,661 --> 00:10:59,541 -I love you, Frank. 241 00:10:59,621 --> 00:11:01,181 -You're one of my best friends. 242 00:11:03,821 --> 00:11:06,181 -(crowd cheering) -(horn honking) 243 00:11:06,261 --> 00:11:08,501 -MAN: Three, two, one! -(crowd cheers) 244 00:11:08,581 --> 00:11:10,221 (horn honks) 245 00:11:10,301 --> 00:11:12,421 -Aw man! This is great! 246 00:11:12,501 --> 00:11:14,541 -Meh. 247 00:11:14,621 --> 00:11:16,661 -You're not making an effort, Frank. 248 00:11:16,741 --> 00:11:19,661 -I'm trying, Doofus, but this feels... 249 00:11:19,741 --> 00:11:22,261 plebeian or something. 250 00:11:22,341 --> 00:11:24,341 I've to change for the wine tasting later, how do I get off? 251 00:11:24,421 --> 00:11:26,101 -You can't get off. We're approaching the water. 252 00:11:26,181 --> 00:11:28,021 -I guess I'm staying on then. Great. 253 00:11:28,101 --> 00:11:30,541 -(crowd cheers) -(water splashes) 254 00:11:30,621 --> 00:11:32,501 -Might get a podcast going. 255 00:11:35,181 --> 00:11:36,541 -What's a podcast? 256 00:11:40,261 --> 00:11:42,821 Can I come to the wine tasting too, please? 257 00:11:46,861 --> 00:11:48,661 -MAN: Three, two, one! 258 00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:50,221 (all cheering) 259 00:11:59,461 --> 00:12:01,301 -Ma, I'm heading out for a bit. 260 00:12:01,381 --> 00:12:03,861 -Bye, Frankie. -Ciao, Frankie. 261 00:12:05,221 --> 00:12:06,861 -Good night, Richard. 262 00:12:06,941 --> 00:12:09,101 -Good night, Frank. 263 00:12:09,181 --> 00:12:12,261 -FRANK: I just think we're growing apart. 264 00:12:12,341 --> 00:12:13,701 I mean, Doofus wouldn't know a red wine 265 00:12:13,781 --> 00:12:16,821 from a-- a different red wine. 266 00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:18,661 Easy there, pal. Aren't you supposed to taste and spit? 267 00:12:18,741 --> 00:12:21,661 Ah, fuck it. The week I've had? 268 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,821 Patients moaning, moaning. 269 00:12:23,901 --> 00:12:26,301 "Oh, my foot's broken." 270 00:12:26,381 --> 00:12:28,181 "Ahhh, what's this rash?" 271 00:12:28,261 --> 00:12:30,581 -Right, that does seem annoying, although you are a doctor. 272 00:12:30,661 --> 00:12:33,941 Yech! A "woman" came in today, all, 273 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:37,661 "I'm unhappy. I don't feel beautiful." 274 00:12:37,741 --> 00:12:40,341 I gave her a prescription that said, "Don't wear leggings." 275 00:12:40,421 --> 00:12:42,621 She said, "Tanks." 276 00:12:42,701 --> 00:12:44,661 That's the level of person we're dealing with here you know? 277 00:12:44,741 --> 00:12:46,421 -You don't like being a doctor? 278 00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:48,461 -Yeah, telling people you're a doctor is great, 279 00:12:48,541 --> 00:12:51,141 but actually doing the work's a fucking nightmare. 280 00:12:51,221 --> 00:12:52,781 That's what was so sweet about college. 281 00:12:52,861 --> 00:12:53,941 -Didn't you have to study a lot? 282 00:12:54,021 --> 00:12:56,221 -And the women... Jesus. 283 00:12:56,301 --> 00:12:58,861 Now I feel like I'm slowing down. 284 00:12:58,941 --> 00:13:00,141 -Look, Aine's moving in. 285 00:13:00,221 --> 00:13:02,021 You'll settle down. 286 00:13:02,101 --> 00:13:04,141 And we'll be besties. 287 00:13:04,221 --> 00:13:06,501 I know it's soon to say, but let's call a spade a spade. 288 00:13:06,581 --> 00:13:08,181 I might move in. 289 00:13:08,261 --> 00:13:12,661 -You have no idea what my life was like before Aine. 290 00:13:12,741 --> 00:13:14,341 Vag. 291 00:13:14,421 --> 00:13:17,941 Vag, vag, everywhere. 292 00:13:18,021 --> 00:13:19,981 And now? Not a drop to drink. 293 00:13:20,061 --> 00:13:22,461 -Peebster, I don't think I should be hearing this. 294 00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:25,381 -You listen! Aine suspects I've been unfaithful, 295 00:13:25,461 --> 00:13:26,781 -and I haven't. -Right. Good! 296 00:13:26,861 --> 00:13:29,301 -Except the worst part is I have. 297 00:13:29,381 --> 00:13:31,021 Only once. 298 00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:33,021 A girl at the bar. 299 00:13:33,101 --> 00:13:36,021 Another girl at the gym. 300 00:13:36,101 --> 00:13:38,061 And several patients. But that's a bigger deal. 301 00:13:38,141 --> 00:13:41,581 That's trouble. But they're the only ones, all right? 302 00:13:41,661 --> 00:13:43,421 Well, no, there were loads more, 303 00:13:43,501 --> 00:13:45,061 but those were the only ones Aine suspects. 304 00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:47,341 Well, no, she suspects it's a much bigger problem, and it is. 305 00:13:47,421 --> 00:13:48,981 Ah, Christ, Frank, I'm fucked! 306 00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:51,941 -Easy, easy. Easy, there. -(ringtone plays) 307 00:13:52,021 --> 00:13:53,501 -Easy. -(ringtone plays) 308 00:13:53,581 --> 00:13:55,861 -I'm sorry. Please don't tell Aine. 309 00:13:58,621 --> 00:14:00,461 (doorbell chimes) 310 00:14:03,861 --> 00:14:05,301 -Frank, thanks for coming. 311 00:14:06,941 --> 00:14:08,821 -(door closes) -Can I get you anything? 312 00:14:08,901 --> 00:14:11,181 -Tea, coffee? -Maybe a latte. 313 00:14:11,261 --> 00:14:14,181 -That would take ages. -I know you have a milk frother, Aine. 314 00:14:14,261 --> 00:14:15,741 -Would you like a regular coffee? 315 00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:17,301 -Is it instant? -Yes. 316 00:14:17,381 --> 00:14:19,661 -Just a water, please. Sparkling. 317 00:14:25,261 --> 00:14:28,101 -So... about Peter-Brian. 318 00:14:31,821 --> 00:14:34,141 -Look, I don't wanna say this. 319 00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,901 I've been spying on him. 320 00:14:35,981 --> 00:14:37,901 I thought he was cheating on you, 321 00:14:37,981 --> 00:14:39,981 and I was trying to collect some hard evidence and-- 322 00:14:40,061 --> 00:14:41,701 -And? 323 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:44,781 -Basically, he's clean. 324 00:14:44,861 --> 00:14:48,341 Okay? The man's a boy scout and not in a bad way. 325 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,261 -Frank, I've been worried about Peter-Brian too, 326 00:14:51,341 --> 00:14:53,181 so I've been doing a little spying of my own. 327 00:14:53,261 --> 00:14:55,501 I asked Doofus to keep tabs on him. 328 00:14:55,581 --> 00:14:58,541 -Doofus? -He sent me these today. 329 00:15:05,341 --> 00:15:08,661 -Aine, my little house mouse... 330 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,541 these aren't real. 331 00:15:10,621 --> 00:15:13,381 -Of course they're not real. 332 00:15:13,461 --> 00:15:16,581 But seeing them made me realize Peter-Brian is just-- 333 00:15:18,181 --> 00:15:20,661 He's just so fucking posh. 334 00:15:20,741 --> 00:15:21,941 And I don't wanna live with-- 335 00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,661 And here we are, 336 00:15:26,741 --> 00:15:28,781 and here you are. 337 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:32,101 And I can't remember why we broke up. 338 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,221 -You wouldn't do anal. -It was more than that. 339 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,301 -No. That was the deal breaker for me. 340 00:15:38,581 --> 00:15:42,221 Aine, we've been over this. 341 00:15:42,301 --> 00:15:43,461 Darling, I don't want you. 342 00:15:43,541 --> 00:15:44,821 I want you to be unhappy. 343 00:15:44,901 --> 00:15:46,421 -Yeah, you keep saying that, Frank, 344 00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:47,621 but you keep coming back. 345 00:15:47,701 --> 00:15:50,101 -Sing me a song, Frank. -What? 346 00:15:50,181 --> 00:15:52,701 Sing me a song like the good old days. 347 00:15:52,781 --> 00:15:54,261 Sing me a song, Frank. Come on sing it. 348 00:15:54,341 --> 00:15:56,781 -♪ Please leave me alone ♪ -Yes. 349 00:15:56,861 --> 00:15:59,661 How about one last bit of rough before I move in with fancy pants? 350 00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:03,301 -No, Aine, I can't. -What if the anus was back on the table? 351 00:16:03,381 --> 00:16:05,021 -Aine, no. Please. 352 00:16:05,101 --> 00:16:07,101 I couldn't do that to someone I respect. 353 00:16:07,181 --> 00:16:09,261 -But it's all you used to talk about! 354 00:16:09,341 --> 00:16:11,301 -I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about Peter-Brian. 355 00:16:11,381 --> 00:16:13,221 I respect him too damn much. 356 00:16:13,301 --> 00:16:15,661 I want him to be my best friend, and God willing-- 357 00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,421 I know it's early, but I think if he and I spend enough time together-- 358 00:16:18,501 --> 00:16:20,941 -You're pathetic. -You're desperate. 359 00:16:23,021 --> 00:16:24,781 -Doofus, Doofus! 360 00:16:24,861 --> 00:16:26,301 Doofus, Doofus, Doofus! 361 00:16:26,381 --> 00:16:27,821 Doofus, Doofus, Doofus, Doofus! 362 00:16:27,901 --> 00:16:29,421 Doofus, Doofus, Doofus, Doofus, Doofus! 363 00:16:29,501 --> 00:16:31,141 -Easy, easy, Frank, you'll wake my parents. 364 00:16:31,221 --> 00:16:32,421 -What was with those photos of PB? 365 00:16:32,501 --> 00:16:34,541 -Oh! Did she buy them? -No! 366 00:16:34,621 --> 00:16:35,701 I can't believe you hid behind my back. 367 00:16:35,781 --> 00:16:37,301 -You're the one who went rogue! 368 00:16:37,381 --> 00:16:39,981 -My relationship with Peter-Brian is very nuanced. 369 00:16:40,061 --> 00:16:43,221 You know what? Forget Kevin Costner in "Dances with Wolves." 370 00:16:43,301 --> 00:16:45,381 You're Kevin Costner in "Waterworld." 371 00:16:45,461 --> 00:16:48,781 Shit! You and me, we're done. 372 00:16:48,861 --> 00:16:51,141 -Fine! Have fun with your new best friend! 373 00:16:51,221 --> 00:16:53,181 -I will have fun with my new best friend! 374 00:16:53,261 --> 00:16:55,301 We're going to Avoca for lunch on Wednesday, 375 00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:56,621 and then afterwards we're probably gonna go 376 00:16:56,701 --> 00:16:57,901 to the Southside for a cheeseboard. 377 00:16:57,981 --> 00:17:00,861 -I don't even know you anymore. 378 00:17:12,261 --> 00:17:14,701 -STEPHANE: What's wrong, Frankie? 379 00:17:14,781 --> 00:17:16,101 -I don't know, Stephane. 380 00:17:16,221 --> 00:17:17,661 I started the day with two besties, 381 00:17:17,741 --> 00:17:19,781 but I'm pretty sure I can only have one. 382 00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,461 -What is a bestie? 383 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,901 The guy who massage you in the bath? Your bitch? 384 00:17:23,981 --> 00:17:25,941 -That was Doofus. 385 00:17:26,021 --> 00:17:28,421 But now I think I want Peter-Brian to be my bestie instead. 386 00:17:28,501 --> 00:17:30,061 -Why? -I don't know. 387 00:17:30,101 --> 00:17:33,221 He might be an awful person, but his lifestyle is better. 388 00:17:33,301 --> 00:17:38,221 -So you rather be his Doofus, than have Doofus be yours? 389 00:17:40,781 --> 00:17:42,501 Let me say, uh, 390 00:17:42,581 --> 00:17:44,261 "It is better to reign in Hell 391 00:17:44,341 --> 00:17:46,581 than serve in Heaven." 392 00:17:46,661 --> 00:17:48,701 -Did you just come up with that? -It's Milton. 393 00:17:48,781 --> 00:17:51,101 -The sterilizer? -No. 394 00:17:51,181 --> 00:17:54,701 Well, thank you for sharing your native wisdom with me, Stephane. 395 00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:56,981 You're a very wise French man. 396 00:17:57,061 --> 00:17:58,421 -Good night, Frankie. 397 00:17:58,501 --> 00:17:59,781 -Good night, Dad. 398 00:18:01,021 --> 00:18:03,181 (weeping) 399 00:18:08,181 --> 00:18:11,301 -Richard, pet? -Yes, Frank? 400 00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:12,581 -Could you keep it down? 401 00:18:13,821 --> 00:18:15,101 -My babies. 402 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:16,701 I gotta get back to my babies. 403 00:18:18,341 --> 00:18:20,741 ♪♪ (polka) 404 00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:31,581 -Whoa, there, Padraig! Careful there! 405 00:18:31,701 --> 00:18:34,101 Okay! 406 00:18:43,781 --> 00:18:47,221 -DOOFUS: Hello, Frank. It's quite a housewarming. 407 00:18:47,301 --> 00:18:48,941 -FRANK: Quite. 408 00:18:49,021 --> 00:18:50,781 I hear there'll have a chocolate fountain later. 409 00:18:50,821 --> 00:18:53,181 -Well, I'm just here to wish them well. 410 00:18:53,261 --> 00:18:55,021 I won't cause any bother. 411 00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:58,501 -Doofus-- -I just want you to be happy, Frank. 412 00:18:58,581 --> 00:19:02,301 I know he's your bestie now, and I won't stand in your way. 413 00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:05,341 I love you, so I'll let you go. 414 00:19:16,661 --> 00:19:18,341 -Thanks for coming, Frank. 415 00:19:18,421 --> 00:19:21,661 -It's no problem, my little Pokemon. 416 00:19:21,741 --> 00:19:23,101 You're still going through with it? 417 00:19:23,221 --> 00:19:25,181 -Yeah. 418 00:19:25,261 --> 00:19:28,021 Yeah, I had a chat with Peter, and... 419 00:19:28,101 --> 00:19:30,741 Promise me you won't tell anyone about my little wobble last night. 420 00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:32,501 It was just nerves. 421 00:19:32,581 --> 00:19:34,581 -Just nerves. -(chuckles) 422 00:19:37,101 --> 00:19:38,781 -Your secret's safe with me. 423 00:19:38,821 --> 00:19:41,341 -(metal clanging) -PETER-BRIAN: Guys? 424 00:19:41,421 --> 00:19:42,941 -Guys? -Oh, God. 425 00:19:43,021 --> 00:19:44,461 -Can I say a couple of words? 426 00:19:46,581 --> 00:19:49,661 Thanks for coming, everyone. 427 00:19:49,741 --> 00:19:54,181 Moving in is a big step for us, for me and Aine, 428 00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:57,021 but it's the right one, I'm pretty sure. 429 00:19:57,101 --> 00:20:01,581 You know, in my business, a lot of people need my help. 430 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,301 But outside office hours, who really needs me? 431 00:20:04,341 --> 00:20:07,901 You know? Who wants me? 432 00:20:07,981 --> 00:20:09,781 That woman. Aine. 433 00:20:09,821 --> 00:20:11,461 She needs me. 434 00:20:11,541 --> 00:20:13,661 All hours of the fucking day. 435 00:20:13,741 --> 00:20:16,461 She's so clingy. It's-- It's-- 436 00:20:16,541 --> 00:20:17,781 You know what? Screw it. 437 00:20:17,821 --> 00:20:19,741 It's really fucking... 438 00:20:19,821 --> 00:20:21,101 nice. 439 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,741 So why stop with a move, you know? 440 00:20:23,821 --> 00:20:26,741 Fuck it, yeah. Fuck it! 441 00:20:26,821 --> 00:20:29,341 Aine, darling! 442 00:20:29,421 --> 00:20:31,181 Aine Finnegan, 443 00:20:31,261 --> 00:20:33,341 will you marry me? 444 00:20:33,461 --> 00:20:35,341 -(crowd murmurs) -(coughs) 445 00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:44,221 (scattered applause) 446 00:20:44,301 --> 00:20:46,221 (cheering, applause) 447 00:20:46,301 --> 00:20:47,541 Congratulations, darling. 448 00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:49,261 -What? 449 00:20:53,101 --> 00:20:55,541 -Frank! -Congratulations, man. 450 00:20:55,581 --> 00:20:57,421 -You and me, Frankie boy. 451 00:20:57,501 --> 00:20:59,341 I gotta be honest, 452 00:20:59,421 --> 00:21:01,301 I did not plan to do that just now. 453 00:21:01,341 --> 00:21:04,661 I think I've had one too many of these... again. 454 00:21:04,741 --> 00:21:06,261 -(chuckles) -Bring it in, big guy. 455 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,821 -I will never be your Doofus. -What? 456 00:21:10,901 --> 00:21:12,781 -And if you keep fucking around on Aine, 457 00:21:12,821 --> 00:21:14,941 I'll tell her you slept with your patients. 458 00:21:15,021 --> 00:21:18,461 That's not just a divorce, that's your whole job gone. 459 00:21:18,541 --> 00:21:20,541 -No, Frank, you wouldn't do that. 460 00:21:20,581 --> 00:21:23,101 -You were the first man I ever wanted to be like. 461 00:21:24,461 --> 00:21:25,661 -What? 462 00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:30,541 (scoffs) 463 00:21:33,101 --> 00:21:34,581 -Doofus. 464 00:21:36,581 --> 00:21:38,261 Doofus! 465 00:21:38,341 --> 00:21:40,501 -I need you back, Frank. He has to go. 466 00:21:40,581 --> 00:21:42,501 -Put down the firearm. He's not my friend anymore. 467 00:21:42,581 --> 00:21:45,541 -Really? -He's a knob-end. You were right. 468 00:21:48,781 --> 00:21:50,661 They're getting married, Doofus. 469 00:21:50,741 --> 00:21:52,781 -So we're besties again? 470 00:21:52,821 --> 00:21:55,701 -Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. 471 00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:57,381 -Did you come up with that? 472 00:21:57,461 --> 00:21:59,741 -Yeah. 473 00:22:08,501 --> 00:22:10,781 -FRANK: Sorry about what I said before. 474 00:22:10,861 --> 00:22:12,861 You're not like Kevin Costner in "Waterworld." 475 00:22:12,941 --> 00:22:15,341 You're like Kevin Costner in "The Bodyguard." 476 00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:19,421 -DOOFUS: Ah! You're like Kevin Costner in "The Untouchables." 477 00:22:19,501 --> 00:22:22,261 -You're like Kevin Costner in "Field of Dreams." 478 00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:24,181 -You're like Kevin Costner in "Tin Cup." 479 00:22:24,261 --> 00:22:25,741 -Haven't seen it. 480 00:22:25,821 --> 00:22:27,621 You're like Kevin Costner in "Tombstone." 481 00:22:27,701 --> 00:22:29,181 -That was Kurt Russell. 482 00:22:29,261 --> 00:22:30,621 You're like, eh... 483 00:22:30,701 --> 00:22:33,021 Kevin Costner in "Mr. Brooks." 484 00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:34,781 -Haven't seen that, either. 485 00:22:34,861 --> 00:22:35,861 -It's really good. 486 00:22:35,941 --> 00:22:38,261 (groans) 487 00:22:38,341 --> 00:22:39,941 -Oh, pubes got you? 488 00:22:40,021 --> 00:22:42,981 -Yes. There's blood in me undies. 489 00:22:43,061 --> 00:22:45,141 ♪♪