(ETHEREAL MUSIC)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(RINGING)
(YAWNS)
(WHINING)
Wait, what?
(EXCLAIMS)
(GASPS)
(GRUNTS)
(UPBEAT PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
(EXCLAIMS, CHEERS)
(CHUCKLES)
(SINGING) The... Proud... Family... What?
You and me will always be tight
Family every day and every night
Even when you start acting like a fool
You know that I'm lovin' every single thing you do
I know I can always be myself
When I'm with you more than anybody else
Every single day that I'm headed off to school
You know there's no one I love as much as you
The family the family
Proud family
They'll make you scream!
They'll make you wanna sing!
It's a family thing, a family a proud, proud family
Proud family
They'll push your buttons!
They'll make you wanna hug them
A family, family proud, proud family
Proud, proud family
(OSCAR SCREAMS)
(SINGING) Wobble, baby, wobble, baby Wobble, baby, wobble
Ooh. Vote for Wizard Kelly for mayor, and everybody gets a stimulus check.
You'll be wobblin' all the way to the bank, y'all.
- Wobble, baby. - I hate that idiot!
You better not vote for him, Mr. Chips.
And stop wobblin', Mr. Chips! And get that grinder!
(RECORD SCRATCHING, MUSIC STOPS)
(MR. CHIPS GRUNTS)
My newest creation...
Proud's Diet Gummie Yummies!
They stick to your teeth and not to your tummy!
I'm finally gonna be richer than the Wizard!
- (MR. CHIPS CHATTERING) - Of course you're gonna get a raise.
Stupid organ grinder, you'll be the first one I fire.
Chips, bring in the monkeys!
(MONKEYS SCREECHING)
Quiet, you chimps! Get my slingshot, Mr. Chips.
Oh, so you're one of them now? Well, you can forget about that raise.
(SCREAMING) Trudy! Trudy! Trudy!
Trudy! Trudy! Where's my slingshot?
Oscar, did you look under the sink?
Of course I looked, woman! You're always movin' stuff!
Never mind.
(FUNKY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
That looks amazing. Thank you, Bobby.
I still think you'd make more money if you did a nacho truck.
(SINGING) I love nachos... and yeah
I made some modifications, Trudy.
Just hit the button, child.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
Ow!
Whoa!
(MR. CHIPS SCREECHING)
Would you stand still and open your mouth, Chunky Monkey?
(SCREAMING)
(CRASHES)
And you can forget that Christmas bonus!
(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
(YELLS) BeBe! CeCe! No!
It worked?
It worked! Mr. Chips, delete your new map!
We're about to blow up!
(FARTS)
(YELLING) Whoa! Funk-funk! Trudy!
What now, Oscar?
Come change your evil children.
Look, Oscar, we agreed.
Now that I'm expanding my business,
you will start pulling your weight around here.
- I pull my weight. I bought this house. - No, you didn't.
- I bought the cars. - Nope.
- Groceries? - Mm-mmm.
- So, what are you tryin' to say? - I'm saying,
the one who makes spare change should change BeBe and CeCe.
And anything else I tell them to do.
Okay. Fine!
(YELLS) Penny!
- Morning, family. - (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
Good googly goose fat!
(SINGING) And that's just What I do, do, do
And that's just how we do it, do it, do it
Yeah, that's how we do it, do it
(EXCLAIMS, GRUNTS)
- Penny, where'd you get these from? - They Mama's.
Ah, your mother. Trudith, my dear, may I have a word with you, please?
Chloe! I mean... Halle! I mean Penny is wearing...
- What are these? - Oscar, relax.
Our little girl is becoming a young lady,
and there is nothing you can do about it.
Au contraire, mon cheri...
(CLANKING)
Mama, make Oscar stop!
If you're so worried about Penny, why don't you just talk to her?
I'm still waitin' for Suga Mama to talk to me. You talk to her.
(LAUGHING)
Boy, that was the best vacation I've ever had.
Thank goodness for you, Papi.
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
Ooh.
I just love the way that man talks!
Well, I don't "love" the way you keep spendin' my inheritance
on trips with Pitbull's granddaddy.
Why is my grandbaby dressed like Darth Vader?
To keep the boys away like you did during the Crusades!
(LAUGHS)
(YELLS) Ow! You hit me!
- I'm callin' child services. - You a snitch?
(OBJECTS CLATTERING)
(LAUGHS) Thank you, Suga Mama.
Oh, no need, baby. I loved it.
DIJONAY: Penny! Come out, Penny!
Now, go and enjoy your life.
But not too much, Penny. Remember how we raised you.
Okay. I will, Mama. I promise.
Gotta go. (CHUCKLES)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(GRUNTS)
(YELPS)
Boo, we need to take you shopping for some new Wiz Mar wedges
because what are those?
Wow! Y'all saw the light, too?
Yeah, girl. I'm snatched!
I wish you would snatch that wig up.
Michael, you look good!
- You've got... - More style than all of you? I know.
Yeah, the Back-to-School Kickback,
of which yours truly is the committee chairman,
is this weekend.
And you can't get in lookin' all crusty and musty.
- ZOEY: Hey, girl. - Wow! And, Zoey, you're uh...
(RECORD SCRATCHING)
- taller. - Yep.
And I'm pretty sure this is it for me.
I shouldn't have gone to bed with my face mask on.
Hey, LaCienega. We all changed. What about you?
- LaCienega, did you see the light? - (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
(ALL GASPING)
Zang! You got those Ashanti sideburns!
And Freddie Mercury's moustache.
(ALL LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
LaCienega, say something.
I don't know what happened.
I got my eight hours of beauty-sleep like I normally do,
and I woke up like... well, like you, Proud!
What am I gonna do? (CRYING)
Don't worry, I got you, Chewbacca.
- Chupacabra? (SOBBING) - Nobody's calling you a chupacabra.
I'm talking about fixing your face.
We're gonna pluck, wax, and lase that nastiness right off of you, baby.
Ooh, let's go get my Sticky.
If he's got half the hair you got, he's gonna be a zaddy now.
(CHOMPING)
(STRAINING)
No wonder Sticky rides that dang hoverboard everywhere.
(PANTING) I can't breathe.
(PANTING) Come on! We're almost at my man's house.
LACIENEGA: Forget the zaddy. I'm calling my daddy.
Uh-oh.
(LOW GROWLING)
Wow! The Gross Sisters changed, too.
They look meaner.
- And ashier. - LACIENEGA: And they can levitate.
Yeah, it's called Black Girl Magic.
Welcome to our hood.
I didn't know y'all lived here. I guess y'all bad and bougie now, huh?
(CHUCKLES)
For sure. We movin' on up, weezy.
Look, Nubia, we don't have anything.
Man, relax, Proud.
We done jackin'. We in the rap game now.
And we got our own record label.
Hands Up, Cash Out Records.
Gina do the beats.
(BEATBOXING)
Olei got them fire hooks,
and I spit the rhymes.
(SINGING) Hands up, yup
Give me all your cash
No fuss, just put it in the bag
Gross Sisters, we gon' have the last laugh
Hands up, cash out
Here to take all you have
Hands up, yup Give me all your cash
No fuss, just put it in the bag
Gross Sisters, we gon' have the last laugh
Hands up, cash out
Here to take all you have
(BARKS)
Yo, we finished!
- Yes! Everything! Work! - Good job!
Y'all might wanna reconsider that bully thing.
Dijonay, shut up! Thanks for the private concert. (CHUCKLES)
See ya.
No, uh-uh. Hold up, Dijonay.
We heard you was in charge of bookin' the school dance.
Hey, I think y'all did y'all thing and all, but...
Man, please! Y'all can't afford us.
I'm talkin' about our new artist.
Young Toddler.
(SINGING ON PHONE)
He's, uh, cute?
Good. He booked then. But I'mma need his money upfront, in cash.
(ALL EXCLAIMING) Zang!
(RECORD SCRATCHING)
(YELLING) Hey, Sticky!
Sticky!
(EXCLAIMING) Sheesh!
"Shee" back at ya!
Dang, Sticky, you really changed.
You a man now, baby. A grown man.
Ooh.
Hold up. I'm sorry, Icky, but I'm not Sticky.
Well, where's my man?
He and his family moved, you noob.
- They did? When? - (CAR ENGINE STARTS)
(TIRES SCREECH)
He didn't even say goodbye!
He left this envelope for uh...D-J-onays?
That's me!
Ooh, I knew he loved me.
What does it say?
"Give this to Penny."
"Penny, I'm really gonna miss you guys." Aw.
"My dad got a job in Japan.
"He said I didn't have to go,
"I could stay with my cousins if I wanted,
"but I've just had enough of that crazy Dijo..."
Oh! Okay. We've got the idea.
I'm gonna find that Dija-whoever-she-is.
She drove my man away!
KG, Dad said finish your breakfast.
We're about to leave for school.
Dad ain't say nothin'. And you ain't the boss of me.
Put down the game and get inside.
And you put down your stink attitude. Trippin'.
Hi! I'm Penny.
That's Zoey, Dijonay, LaCienega, and Michael.
Welcome to the neighborhood.
Hi.
- Bye. - Ooh!
- I like your hair. - Uh.
Didn't you hear Solange? You should know better, sis.
I'm sorry. Maybe we can hang out after school.
I could give you the tea on what's up around here. (CHUCKLES)
Penny, is it?
Yeah, I don't drink tea.
ALL EXCEPT PENNY: Ooh!
Did she just throw shade?
She sure did, Omarosa.
All right, My-My, time to go.
Oh! Hello.
My-My, you wanna introduce me to your new friends?
No.
I'm Bear-Bear... I'm Barry.
Sometimes she calls me Bear-Bear, but yeah.
I'm Maya and KG's father.
- Hello. - Hello, sir.
Come on, Dad, let's go.
Nice meeting everyone.
- Okay, Maya, see you at school. - (SCOFFS)
Wow. She really don't like you, boo.
(CHUCKLING)
Michael, what are you talkin' about? Everybody likes me.
Who cares? It's all about that cutie KG.
Did you see the way he was lookin' at me?
He was looking at me, Dijon. I was standing behind you.
And he looked right through you two ratchets, to me.
- Are you okay, Penny? - No.
I wake up in a strange body, I don't know how to walk anymore,
and suddenly, people don't like me!
Tell me about it, sister. Welcome to my world.
Well, you know what? I'm gonna make Maya like me,
because everybody likes me. You'll see!
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
Hey, Maya girl! I saved you a seat.
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)
What do you know? We're neighbors! (CHUCKLES)
I hope you don't mind, I painted your locker just to say,
welcome to Willy T!
Hey, Penny!
(CHUCKLES) What do you know? We're neighbors.
I'm gonna have to buy some bitcoin.
It's going to be a good year. Yeah.
Hey, Maya, what do you say you and I meet up at Wizbucks after school?
Chocolate lattes on me, y'all!
(GASPS)
(MUFFLED) I guess the answer is no.
Well, Maya and KG,
for your indoctrination tour here at Willy T. Ribbs,
you will be escorted by one of our finest.
Penny Proud.
Hey, Maya, it's your girl.
Thanks, Ms. Hightower, but I know where everything is.
Bye.
Why doesn't your sister like me?
It's not even you, she just hates all humans.
(YELLS) KG! I've been lookin' for you!
KG: Sheesh!
(CELL PHONE DINGS)
Oh, man.
(DINGS)
I should have never taught him how to text.
- (DOG BARKING) - OSCAR: (CHUCKLES) Piece of cake.
(CHUCKLING) Hey, hey, hey. Look at that.
Please don't play with merchandise, Proud.
- Hey, Bufferina, does this thing work? - (BEEPING)
- (EXPLODES) - Whoa! Penny! Look out!
(OSCAR YELPS)
(WHISTLING)
Uh, I guess it does.
- (DISTANT EXPLOSION) - (CAR ALARM WAILING)
- You got a layaway plan? - Sure.
Oh! Looks like you broke, Daddy.
- Let's go. - Nope.
I got your mother's card. I never leave home without it.
Dang, Daddy! This isn't fair!
I know you don't understand, Penny,
but one day you will when you have your own children.
And yes, I know that day will come.
And it's my job as your father...
to do everything in my power to prevent it!
Now, you got a choice.
You can either buy some clothes from the Army/Navy store
or you can join the Army/Navy!
MICHAEL: Psst. Psst-psst.
Penny! In here.
What are you doin' here?
My dad tried to do the same thing to me.
Now, hush. We've got work to do, Miss Thing.
(SEWING MACHINE WHIRRING)
Penny! What're you doin' in there?
You're just like your mama, come on!
(STAMMERING) Where did you get those?
- You gave 'em to me, Daddy. - Oh, forget it. Put these on.
(SEWING MACHINE WHIRRING)
- Take this. - (SEWING MACHINE WHIRRING)
- Get back in there. - (SEWING MACHINE WHIRRING)
What's goin' on here?
- Who is that in there, Vera Wang? - (SEWING MACHINE WHIRRING)
- Michael? - MICHAEL: Hey, Mr. Proud.
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Is this dress-up day or what?
No, this is my-daddy-is-afraid of-me-growin'-up day!
Well, that explains you. But what about you, Michael?
This is my-dad-got-a-call from-Penny's-dad day.
What? How did you do that?
I stay ready, I don't get ready.
Here, let me show you, boo.
Michael, you gotta teach me that.
Uh-oh.
Who is that snack?
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
LaCienega? You gotta get that taken care of!
You out here catfishin'!
I told her to come and see me.
A little hot wax and you'll be fabulous again.
Do you even know what you're doing?
You weren't the only one the light played a trick on, boo. This is me.
Ay mia, que feo! Okay, do it.
(SCREAMS) Ahhh! My face is on fire!
Not for long, J.Lo.
- (LACIENEGA SCREAMS) - Voila!
Ooh.
What's wrong? Did it work?
Oh, hold up. Cutie at nine o' clock.
I'm gonna go get my phone charger, I'll be right back.
Hey! Where's everybody going?
"Save Shuggie, the giant panda"?
Well, I like pandas. What do I have to do?
I have done everything to be nice to you, what's your deal?
No deal. I just don't like you.
How? Everybody likes me.
Well, except LaCienega, the Gross Sisters, my fifth period teacher.
Well, add me to that list.
But why? You don't even know me.
Oh, I know you and your little followers.
Every school I've been to, there's always a group just like you.
Think they're smarter than everybody, cuter than everybody,
when in reality, you're just lame.
No one has ever called me "lame."
Inconsequential.
- Or "inconsequential." - Superficial.
"Superficial?" (SCOFFS) I am the deepest person I know.
Then prove it. Here. Meet me at the zoo.
Unless you'll be too busy with your "squad goals."
Uh-uh. This is the night of the Back-to-School Kickback. I can't make it.
I thought so.
Penny Proud, I know you're over there! I can see you...
sort of.
Are you okay, LaCienega?
It's just that I've never been like this.
- Like what? - Not cute.
I don't know how to deal with it! How do you do it?
(CRYING)
You know what? You can start dealing with it by not being so...
(GASPS)
Oh, zang!
Maya's right. We are superficial.
Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. I'm going to the dance!
Now, hold it right there, young lady. Let me see what you got on.
Oscar, haven't you embarrassed her enough?
Oh, no, I'm just gettin' started. Now, get over here, Penny. Let me see you.
Now, that's my baby girl!
You're gonna be the prettiest girl at the dance. You'll see!
- Semper fi! - Semper fi!
- See? She's not embarrassed at all. - (DOOR CLOSES)
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)
(WHIRRING)
(SINGING) Huh, ain't nobody Gonna change me
Huh, got my diaper with a chain piece
Yeah, they be like "Homie, who raised you?"
What? Man, why they hatin' on a baby?
Look, check
Know that I'm a conqueror Tell me what's poppin'
They call me Young Toddler
I'm a lil' monster
They took me for granted so they got me trainin' for the potty
The diaper the only thing they be changin' to be honest
I'm plottin', they gonna make me king...
Ooh, Young Toddler.
He's good, Nubia.
Oh, I know. That's why his price just went up.
Oh, glad we got him when he was cheap.
Nah, fool, his price just went up right now.
Zang!
Psst. Dijonay, if anybody asks, I'm here.
- But you are here. - I am now, but I won't be.
- Where won't you be? - Here, at the dance!
- But you are at the dance! - Girl, just tell 'em I'm here!
Okay!
- Tell who? - (GROANS)
- Michael? - Got it.
LaCienega? You look good. What did you do, girl?
- Michael. - I told you I could upgrade you, girl.
(ANIMAL WAILING)
Hey, I didn't think you'd show up.
About that, where is everybody?
We are everybody.
- Come on. - Oh! Isn't the zoo closed?
Yeah, so you don't need a ticket.
Wait, I thought we were protesting for the panda.
We are. We're breakin' him out.
- Breakin' him out? - Yes.
(CHUCKLES) Girl, you're trippin'.
MAYA: Are you comin'?
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
Okay, this is it.
Ugh. It's locked.
Oh, man! Well, we did what we could. Let's go.
We can't now, Penny. No animal should have to live like this.
- What? How did you... - Are you comin' or not?
Uh, you know they got a sign here with skull and bones
and somethin' about "under the penalty of law?"
Zang!
Okay, Penny, you know you shouldn't do this.
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
(GUITAR RIFFS)
(SINGING) Hello, my love
I heard a kiss from you
Red magic satin playing near, too
A present from you
Strawberry letter 22
The music plays I sit in for a few
Said ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Said ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
(GUITAR STRUMMING)
(GRUNTS)
Got to be more careful. That's bamboo, I hate that.
What you tryin' to do? Kill a brother?
Pandas love bamboo.
Now, see, that's a lie. Shuggie, say it with me...
Shuggie is a carnivore. I eat meat.
Bamboo is why there's only a few dozen of us left.
Hold up, wait a minute. You can talk?
Normally, people say, "Wow, Shuggie, you can play the guitar?"
Come on, man. We're breakin' you outta here.
Slow your roll, boo-boo. Shuggie is not going an-ty-where.
I can't believe he's actually talking.
You don't understand, we're settin' you free.
If you can top free food,
free lodgin', and some mating... (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
I'm here to stay.
So let go of them claws, unless you're gonna massage them paws.
Wouldn't you feel better in your natural habitat?
Okay, now, look around,
tell me what you see.
You see a 75-inch TV, don't you?
You see a refrigerator full of spring water, don't you?
You see a king-size Sleep Number bed, don't you?
I'm a player.
This is my natural habitat.
I get it, you don't wanna be rescued. Great!
(ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFFS)
Let's go, Maya, before the police get here.
No, I'm gonna rescue him. He doesn't know what he wants.
Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't.
But he weighs 400 pounds,
which means there's nothing we can do about it!
Ugh. You actin' real lame right now.
No, I'm not!
It's just that he seems happy.
But, if this is what you wanna do, then I guess...
Penny, remember how we raised you.
You know what? You're right.
I am lame, inconsequential, superficial, and a fool.
Because I was willing to do anything to be your friend.
I don't know if seeing the light the other night confused me,
but as of now, I am officially no longer confused.
You're the superficial one.
Not to mention pushy, delusional, and hard-headed.
The bear just told you he's happy, but you won't hear it.
Well, I did, and I am not kidnapping a bear.
That's federal time. And I'm through letting you kidnap me. I'm out!
Where you goin'?
To hang out with my "squad."
They may not be all that to you,
but at least they appreciate me for being me.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Shuggie. Keep doin' you.
Now, see, Shuggie like her.
But you, Miss Thing, not so much.
(GUITAR CHORD PLAYING)
OSCAR: Trudy, I'm going to the Wiz Mall to get a lottery ticket.
- I'll be right back. - TRUDY: Take the twins with you, Oscar.
Damn, woman, can I have a moment to myself?
Besides, I don't even have no car seats in the car. Now, bye!
(AMUSING MUSIC PLAYING)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(SNARE DRUM)
Semper fi?
Semper lie.
(RAPPING) Fresh from the toes up Fresh from the toe
Fresh from the toes up Fresh from the toe
I ain't gotta dance I ain't, I ain't gotta dance
I ain't gotta dance...
Hey, guys. So, who got KG?
They did.
Jeez. (CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
Guess he's not into girls, huh?
- That's what's up. - Or you, Michael.
Hater.
Uh-oh. Dad at ten o' clock.
You wanna explain this to me, young lady?
Oh! Thanks, Dad. I have been lookin' all over for these.
(CHUCKLES)
You know this camouflage stuff really works, it just blends right in.
You got me twisted. I won't let you dance with a boy, lookin' like...
- like a... - Like a girl?
Look, Dad, there's nothing to worry about.
- No boys are asking us to dance anyway. - Good.
Wait a minute, what kind of squares are these?
Squares?
Yeah, you know. Nerds, geeks, losers, lame-os.
Back in the day, we'd jump at the chance to dance with a pretty girl.
Well, I know I'm pretty.
(SOFT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING)
'Cause I'm so, so done
Guardin' my tongue, holdin' me back
- Don't even think about it. - Oh! Yes, sir.
Now, go and enjoy your life.
Daddy, we need to talk.
Now sit.
- Now, hold on a minute, young lady. - I said sit.
I'm sorry, what did I do, Mama? I mean, Penny.
You're not paying attention to me.
There's a lot goin' in my life right now, okay?
I'm changing.
Yeah, I know, baby girl. I saw that the other day.
And I'm not gonna always be your baby girl.
One day, I'm gonna go to high school,
go to college, get a job,
- get married, have children... - Hold on.
- Slow down, baby girl. - Listen to me, Daddy. You never listen.
Okay, okay. You know what? You becomin' like your mama more every day.
- I'm listenin'. - I'm a woman.
At least I'm becoming one.
And you just have to trust that you and Mama did a good job raising me.
Okay?
Now, I'm gonna go over there and dance with a boy,
just like all the other girls.
Do you have a problem with that?
As long as he's Michael.
- Daddy! - All right, all right, go ahead.
I ain't got no problem.
Thank you, Daddy. I knew you'd understand.
Uh. Hmm.
She is definitely her mama's baby.
I feel sorry for every boy on that dance floor. (CHUCKLES)
I'm tellin' you.