Behold!
- Snackland!
- Ooh.
Why'd you call it "Snackland," Daddy?
That's been somethin' I've been ponderin' for many a night now, baby girl.
I took the one thing I was good at
and combined it with the land on which we stand.
Then you should've named it... Nah, that's too easy.
Every ride is inspired by one of the Proud Snacks.
And what have we here?
Snackland's official mascot,
slash-accountant, slash-churro maker, Snacky Monkey.
Boy, any fool can see that that ain't nobody but Mr. Chips.
Because he's out of uniform.
Snacky Monkey, put on 'em cheese puffs!
Aren't they great? And they're edible,
straight from the Proud family oven.
- For human consumption only. - Oscar.
Exactly what snack is this good lookin' ride based on, boy?
Oh, no snack, it's a recurring nightmare.
It's my pièce de résistance.
I call it, "Suga Mama's Drop-of-Doom."
Welcome to Suga Mama's Drop-of-Doom.
Unsuspecting rubes ride to the top in green, decaying dentures,
where they're greeted by a blast of halitosis.
Only to be dropped 839 feet, faster than the speed of sound,
into a giant, minty-fresh glass of Efferdent.
Anyone up for a test run? Suga Mama?
I think we should use a test dummy.
Okay.
Let's see if you really did invent something
that can go faster than the speed of sound.
Suga Mama, no! Don't touch that, Suga Mama!
Trudy!
I'll get you...
Smells like garlic and gingivitis!
And George Clinton's drawers.
Doggone it! The boy did it.
Welcome to Suga Mama's Drop-of-Doom.
Trudy!
The... Proud... Family... What?
You and me will always be tight
Family every day and every night
Even when you start acting like a fool
You know that I'm lovin' Every single thing you do
I know I can always be myself
When I'm with you More than anybody else
Every single day That I'm headed off to school
You know there's no one I love as much as you
- The family - The family
Proud Family
They'll make you scream!
They'll make you wanna sing!
It's a family thing, a family A proud, proud family
Proud family
They'll push your buttons!
They'll make you wanna hug 'em
A family, family Proud, proud family
What in the... "Proud Sacks?"
Who proofed this? BeBe? CeCe?
- Trudy! Come and get your kids.
Hey, family.
- Oscar! - No!
Bye, family.
Hold up, baby girl.
I need you to hand these Snackland flyers out to your school friends.
What? "LPDZ?"
Ah-ha. That's right. Your old singin' group.
You're doin' a reunion show.
- What...
When did this all happen?
When my people talked to your people.
My people?
Oh. My baby brother misspelled "Snacks."
Who proofed this?
- BeBe. - Oh.
Then this is pretty good.
No, it's not, Uncle Bobby.
Aside from the fact that LPDZ is not together anymore,
we don't have wardrobe, songs, a choreographer.
Sure, you're right Sure, you're right
But we got Michael
Yes.
You've got Michael, honey.
And I'm ready. Are you ready?
You've got big dreams. Some of you got big heads,
but fame costs, and in this case, it's $25 an hour.
You're the one with the big dreams
I'll pay you 25 cents a day
Tops
Okay, ladies, come on, gather around.
I've written your next gold record.
What's this? I can't read music.
That's why you singin' In the background, child
Want me to play my flute?
No, no, you stay on mute
I'm Cuter Than You?
In your wildest dreams, Proud.
Not only am I cuter, but I'm a better singer than you.
- What? - All right, all right.
Now, come on! Stop it, y'all, with all the fightin'.
It's time to get to work. Let's start with the hook.
Now, I'm gonna count it off. Eeny, meeny, miny...
I'm cuter than you
Cuter than who?
Cuter than you
What can I do?
Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, stop.
Somethin' just ain't right, y'all.
Sing, girl!
I'm cuter than you
Cuter than who?
Cuter than you
What can I do?
- I'm cuter than you
Cuter than who?
Cuter than you Cuter than you
Hey, all right there, wild thing.
You sound just like Tone Loc.
I'm gonna need me some Funky Cold Medina. Lord...
I'm cuter than you
- Cuter than who?
Cuter than you, what can I do?
No, this is not cute at all.
- No, it's not. - What?
But it is what it is.
Maybe you can go on the oldies tour with Young MC and the Dazz Band.
I got their beeper number.
- Who was that? - Over here, in the mirror, knucklehead.
What?
Who are you?
I'm you, the Funky Cold Medina man.
You should be happy with this voice,
it took me to the top of the entertainment world.
I mean, I was known near, far, and wide.
Never had to wait in line to Wizard Kelly's 3 Flavors.
They gave me all three at once.
Yeah, well, that voice almost got me kicked out of my group today.
- Penny. - Uh-oh.
It's the HMIC. Gotta go, gotta go. See ya.
Who are you talkin' to, Penny?
Myself, I think.
- Mom, can I ask you a question? - Sure, baby.
Is it natural for a girl's voice to change?
Depends, why you asking?
Well, something happened to my singing voice.
- I sound like Tone Loc, whoever that is.
Well, you come by it honestly.
When I was your age, my singing voice changed, too.
I went from sounding like...
Whoa, Minnie Riperton, yeah...
to Barry White.
- Who? - Barry White!
Sho' You Right.
Whoa!
But don't worry.
There's no way your voice could be as bad as mine was.
I'm cuter than you
Cuter than who?
Cuter than you, what can I do-ooh-ooh?
Yeah, you definitely need to focus on school.
Maybe get your teacher some flowers.
Your mother's a hater.
She didn't sound nothin' like no Minnie Riperton.
Minnie Pearl, maybe.
Just be you.
And if it happens to sound like me, even better.
You gon' tear it up tomorrow night, believe that.
I'm cuter than you
Cuter than who?
Cuter than you
I'm cuter than you
- Cuter than who?
Cuter than you
Cherry red favorite color of my lipstick
I don't need to wear it Switch colors like a stick shift
Y'all stink!
Well, we definitely need to put more money in Penny's college fund.
Yeah, I'd take them tonsils out.
Have a great day at Snackland.
Well, that was tragic.
But at least my outfits and choreography were on point.
Yeah, but everything else was pretty much out of control.
Where was everybody?
It doesn't matter, Kermit, time for you to hop back to Sesame Street.
Okay, relax, LaCienega.
Look, girl, you're fine. Don't worry.
We'll get this together. It's a good thing nobody showed up, right?
No, it ain't! Penny, did you hand out those flyers like I told you to?
If people won't eat your nasty snacks,
what makes you think they wanna ride in 'em?
One time, Mama, just one time, can you support me?
Welcome to Suga Mama's Drop-of-Doom.
Hey, buddy, where's your tickets?
Ha! We have to pay?
Uh, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.
Hold on there, my good man.
I'm sure we can work something out. I'll give you $5 if you stay.
- Trudy! - What?
You drive a hard bargain, sir.
You stink.
Welcome aboard.
Goodbye.
- Be sure to fasten your seat belt. - What did you say?
- No!
Okay, last one here goes to jail.
- Thank you for riding.
I'm Vanessa Vue,
at the scene of a horrific accident at the city's newest theme park, Snackland.
A father and son plunged 839 feet, breaking the sound barrier.
Standing with me is the owner, Oscar Proud.
What do you say about the rumors
that you're not licensed to operate an amusement park?
Fake news! Here's my license.
That's your driver's license, Mr. Proud, and it's expired.
At the advice of my attorney, I plead the second.
The glove don't fit, man.
Does this mean you're denying the rumors that your children,
two-year-old, Benjamin Proud, and two-year-old, Cecilia Proud,
were the ones operating the ride at the time of the accident?
Balderdash! How could two-year-olds operate heavy machinery like this?
Bye-bye.
- You know what? This interview is over! - Hey, hey.
As is most likely my journalism career. This has been Vanessa Vue,
live from Snackland. And seriously,
I probably will be looking for another job.
They can't prove a thing. It's not like they got it on film.
- You know you're going to jail, right?
Well, it was good while it lasted, Mr. Chips.
I would keep those if I were you. You've got some hungry days ahead.
Come to think of it, I've got some hungry days ahead.
Look what you did, Mr. Chips. That was gonna be my dinner.
What are you two doin' here? You can't sue me,
I don't have any insurance.
Sue you?
Buddy, why would we do that?
No, we're back to ride Suga Mama's Drop-of-Doom again.
But you were almost killed.
It was epic. I peed myself.
I lost three teeth and a part of my tongue.
Sorry, gummy, I can't let you in until we've fixed the ride.
Are you crazy? Don't change a thing.
We like 'em just the way they are.
- Am I right, guys?
But the feds are gonna put me in jail.
We'll pay, buddy. Here, take my money, get out of the way!
Snacky Monkey, we're back in business!
Make sure everybody sign a waiver.
Snackland, the most dangerous place on Earth.
Never seen anything like this.
Why would people come to an amusement park
where they know they can severely injure themselves?
Same reason why people have pet tigers.
Because danger brings excitement to their boring, unfulfilled, pathetic lives.
Oh, you mean like your bored, unfulfilled, pathetic life.
You know what, Suga Mother? For the first time in my life,
there's not a daggone thing that you can say to get under my skin, because I...
Am the Snack Master!
Mmm-mmm.
BeBe, CeCe, what are you doin'?
- Speed this ride up! - Oh-oh.
Safe? Who cares about safe?
Safe won't pay for your college tuition. Or kindergarten!
- Again!
Boy, you know you're going to jail.
Rich people don't go to jail. They go to the bank!
Keep your hands and arms inside the Jalapeño-popper
Hey, guys, what's up? Why didn't you tell me you were comin'?
I would've gotten you in for free.
Oh, we didn't have to pay 'Cause we perfomin' today
- Horns! - We are?
Nobody told me, I gotta get ready.
LaCienega, you didn't tell her?
No, I wanted to maximize her humiliation.
Penny, I'm sorry.
Sorry about what?
Well, Penny, since you went through that voice change and all,
we were thinking maybe you...
Proud, you sound like a broken vacuum cleaner.
No cap, we had to replace you.
Yeah, LPDZ...
is now LMDZ.
Sorry, child, but it had to be
Really? It's like that?
Dijonay?
Girl, I was out-voted.
Translation, you were voted out, boo.
- Penny! Penny, I hope your friends paid... - Watch it, old man!
I hope your friends paid to get in.
What friends? I don't have any friends.
Splendid. In that case, it's time to make it rain for my gain. Where the cash at?
Hold on, baby brother
We're here to perform, remember?
Oh, yeah, about that, girls.
I'm afraid I have some good news and some great news.
What's up, everybody?
Lizzo!
That's the good news,
- Lizzo's performin' today. - Hey.
- And the great news is, you ain't. - What?
Oh, it's just business, girls.
And by the way, big brother, I stopped payment on that last check.
Oh, but I deposited it in Mama's account already.
This day is gettin' better and better.
I hope she doesn't have overdraft protection.
I hope you got over-hand right protection.
As a matter of fact, I do, Suga Mama. Security!
- Please take out the trash. - Let's go.
Let me go! Oscar, I'm gonna get you!
Oscar, that's how you treat your mama?
That's not my mama, that's an overzealous fan.
What are we celebrities to do? You know what I mean?
Come on, Lizzo, my dear, let the Snack Master show you around.
Zang! What's the moral of this story?
Friends are forever?
Not really.
Hello?
Come in
Sorry to disturb you, ma'am,
but, um, where do you want me to put these?
Over there, where I put the others, and you can call me Lizzo.
Only your daddy gotta call me ma'am.
Buy your Proud Family Snack, only $5.
Whoo-hoo!
Child, you look like me the night I found out Karl-Anthony Towns had a girlfriend.
Come on, I know the truth hurts.
Talk to me, sis.
Okay.
When I was 13, I had my whole life ahead of me. Then I turned 14,
a strange light came into my room, my body, my voice changed.
Next thing I know, I'm kicked out of LPDZ, my singing group that I started,
and now I'm runnin' the Jalapeño-popper bumper car ride
in my daddy's amusement park, then delivering nasty snacks nobody wants.
- Oh. Wait, your voice changed?
I'm cuter than you
Cuter than who?
What can I do?
Oh, okay!
You sound just like Tone Loc.
That's what everybody keeps telling me.
Who is he, anyway?
Someone who could not be stopped.
I don't know, Lizzo. People already threw stuff at me when I was up on that stage.
I don't wanna go through that again.
Child, if I had a penny for every time someone threw somethin' at me on stage,
- well, I guess it's why I'm rich.
Anyways, all I'm sayin' is, don't give up on your dreams.
You can't be afraid to be yourself.
You gotta be strong, Penny.
I do my hair toss Check my nails
Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good
Hair toss, check my nails
Baby, how you feelin'?
- Feeling good
Whoo, child, tired of the bullsh...
Go on dust your shoulders off Keep it movin'
Yes, Lord, tryna get some new...
In there, swimwear, going to the pool
Come now, come dry your eyes
You know you a star, you can touch the sky
I know that it's hard but you have to try
If you need advice, let me simplify
If he don't love you anymore
Just walk your fine self out the door
I do my hair toss, check my nails
Baby, how you feelin'? Feeling good
Hair toss, check my nails
Baby, how you feelin'? Feeling good
Whoo!
Well, how do you feel now?
Like a boss!
And don't you forget it.
Calm down, Snacky Monkey.
Can't you see I'm fleecin'? I mean, workin'?
Freddy Frito? Did she pay?
Of course, I didn't, but you will, Proud.
I've got a cease and desist!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is it contagious? Security, get Frito out of here!
You stole my idea for Frito-Land!
Oh, me? I stole...
Frito, you must be nuts.
Do you really think that the bank would give me a loan to build all of this
if they thought I stole the idea?
You out your mind!
Very impressive, Oscar.
So, you're gonna call it Frito-Land?
No, that's just a working title.
Security, get her out of here!
Let me go! I'll see you in court, Oscar Proud!
Don't touch the snacks!
- Let me go! - Uh... Don't worry, folks.
Go back to puttin' all your lives in jeopardy.
And all your money into my pocket.
Excuse me, Ms. Lizzo? I'm LaCienega. I'm the "L" in "LMDZ."
Mmm-hmm. I heard of you.
Who hasn't? On behalf of me and my background singers...
Background?
If we had to lose a gig, I'm glad we lost it to you. Ahhh!
Lizzo, my dear, I take it everything is to your satisfaction?
Did your people receive a check I sent?
Yes, and now I'm leaving.
No, now you wait a minute, Lizzo.
This is bizzo. I paid you that check to perfizzo.
Pah! Did you really think you can pay me $500 to perform?
Five hundred? That was a typo. It was supposed to be $50.
Fifty... You know what?
It doesn't matter. I only came for the rides anyway.
I would have paid you $500 to ride that Suga Mama Drop-of-Doom.
You'll pay me more than that if you don't get on stage. Believe that.
Penny, what are you doin'?
I wanted to see Lizzo.
Penny, I... I'm not paying you to twerk.
I'm paying you to work. Now, go do your job!
Yes, Snack Master.
Now, listen, Lizzo, are you gettin' on that stage,
or do I have to put my monkey on your back?
- Snacky Monkey!
Deathwish.
Excuse me, madam, but you're blocking the sun.
- Oops.
- Lizzo! Lizzo! Lizzo! - Relax, Oscar, I got you.
We love you, Lizzo!
Aw. I love y'all too. But more importantly, love yourself.
Every day, you should wake up, look in the mirror and say to yourself,
"I love you, I'm beautiful, and I can do anything."
Let me hear it, y'all.
I love you, I'm beautiful, I can do anything.
Yeah!
And just for that, I got a surprise for y'all today.
I wanna bring to the stage my friends, LMDZ,
and their lead singer, Penny Proud!
Is she talkin' about me?
Get up there, baby.
You can do it.
Don't you move, Penny. You'll clear out my park!
DW, please remove the Snack Master.
- Trudy! I thought you loved me!
Trudy...
Oh.
What can I do?
I'm cuter than you
Cuter than who?
Cuter than you What can I do?
I'm cuter than you
Cuter than who?
Cuter than you
Cherry red, favorite color of my lipstick
I don't need to wear it Switch colors like a stick shift
I don't need to brag
I'm spicy like hot sauce Yeah
Make you jump like Kris Kross
I look good, it ain't my fault
If I meet my match then I'mma light it
Light it
All my girl breaks necks Ain't no surprises
Surprises
I don't come to play
- Game is sold separately - Separately
You wanna be like me you try so desperately
You see that what it look like
You see that
- I ain't even got to try it hard - What can I do?
I'm cuter than you
Cuter than who?
- Cuter than you - What can I do?
I'm cuter than you
- Cuter than who? - Cuter than who?
- Cuter than you - What can I do?
I'm cuter than you
- Cuter than who? - Cuter than who?
- Cuter than you - Cuter than you
I'm cuter than you
- Cuter than who? - Cuter than who?
Cuter than you
See? I told you. You can do anything you want.
Don't ever forget that, Penny.
I won't. Thank you, Lizzo.
Now, me and Deathwish gotta find your daddy.
That $500 check bounced, girl.
Hey.
Penny, you were amazing!
Girl, the crowd loved you! Go on ahead!
Yeah, your voice made the song pippeta-pop, child.
Let's not go overboard. She was okay.
She was great, and we owe you an apology, Penny.
We didn't have your back like friends are supposed to.
Yeah, and we all sisters in this man's world.
We gotta stick together.
Amen, sister!
So, what do you say, Penny? We still cool?
Like the other side of the pillow.
Come to Snackland again soon.