1 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:21,736 Let me be clear. 2 00:00:24,217 --> 00:00:27,568 To truly grasp man's struggle for power... 3 00:00:27,698 --> 00:00:30,657 we must begin in the prehistoric sea... 4 00:00:30,788 --> 00:00:32,790 that dark and merciless void. 5 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,924 It was eons before the strongest among us 6 00:00:37,011 --> 00:00:39,404 slithered out of the muck to discover 7 00:00:39,491 --> 00:00:41,710 that the lessons of darkness would continue on land. 8 00:00:43,147 --> 00:00:46,540 Futility. Toil. 9 00:00:46,627 --> 00:00:50,631 The mass of men spend their days plowing stones. 10 00:00:50,762 --> 00:00:55,287 But true immortality rests in a pure and mighty will... 11 00:00:55,418 --> 00:00:58,638 for history isn't written by the feeble masses, 12 00:00:58,769 --> 00:01:00,858 the pissants... 13 00:01:00,989 --> 00:01:04,774 commies, the queers, and the women. 14 00:01:04,861 --> 00:01:07,255 It is written and rewritten 15 00:01:07,385 --> 00:01:09,474 by soldiers carrying the banner of kings. 16 00:01:12,302 --> 00:01:13,956 That is what it means to be strong. 17 00:01:16,916 --> 00:01:19,222 That is what it means to be American. 18 00:01:22,094 --> 00:01:23,617 That is what it means... 19 00:01:25,314 --> 00:01:26,925 to be Nixon. 20 00:01:42,939 --> 00:01:44,549 You know her as one of the most outspoken 21 00:01:44,679 --> 00:01:47,029 conservatives in Washington. 22 00:01:47,159 --> 00:01:48,876 You've seen her on Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In 23 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,423 and The Dinah Shore Show. 24 00:01:50,554 --> 00:01:52,077 Ladies and gentlemen, 25 00:01:52,208 --> 00:01:53,513 the wife of the Attorney General 26 00:01:53,644 --> 00:01:55,211 of the United States, 27 00:01:55,341 --> 00:01:57,342 the infamous Mouth of the South, 28 00:01:57,473 --> 00:01:58,866 Martha Mitchell. 29 00:02:09,353 --> 00:02:11,486 Well, welcome, Mrs. Mitchell. 30 00:02:11,616 --> 00:02:13,332 I hope you are ready to tell the whole truth 31 00:02:13,356 --> 00:02:14,923 and nothing but the truth. 32 00:02:15,054 --> 00:02:16,553 Well, if you're gonna put me on the stand, 33 00:02:16,577 --> 00:02:17,857 I better have my lawyer present. 34 00:02:19,841 --> 00:02:21,625 Now, Martha, 35 00:02:21,712 --> 00:02:23,632 I have heard the rumor that your husband was made 36 00:02:23,757 --> 00:02:26,281 the director of the Committee to Re-elect the President. 37 00:02:26,412 --> 00:02:28,893 Yes. And I am the secret weapon. 38 00:02:28,980 --> 00:02:30,719 I bet you are. 39 00:02:30,806 --> 00:02:32,634 Fuck, she is cheesy. 40 00:02:32,721 --> 00:02:36,464 Martha Mitchell all dressed up like a holiday ham. 41 00:02:36,595 --> 00:02:38,640 Nice smile, though. 42 00:02:38,727 --> 00:02:39,727 I can dig on that smile. 43 00:02:39,814 --> 00:02:41,338 And a orangutan. 44 00:02:41,468 --> 00:02:43,383 She's an idiot and a lush. 45 00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:46,691 Why are you leaving all of a sudden? 46 00:02:46,821 --> 00:02:49,084 Stay. We can watch some Password. 47 00:02:49,171 --> 00:02:51,869 - Oh, yeah? - Do the thing... 48 00:02:51,956 --> 00:02:53,740 - again. - That sounds nice. 49 00:02:53,827 --> 00:02:55,525 But my boss doesn't exactly understand 50 00:02:55,655 --> 00:03:00,007 the, uh, finer points of the long lunch. 51 00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:01,965 Oh, yeah? Who's your boss? 52 00:03:02,052 --> 00:03:03,488 Mm. 53 00:03:03,575 --> 00:03:05,925 That is on a need-to-know basis. 54 00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:09,711 Well, thank you. It's fascinating. 55 00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:12,583 Oh, hold up. 56 00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,628 You work for Nixon? 57 00:03:14,758 --> 00:03:17,065 Oh, you're big-time. You know, I knew it. 58 00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:19,633 The second I saw this place, I thought to myself, "Wow." 59 00:03:19,763 --> 00:03:21,350 This guy right here, he's big-time-plus." 60 00:03:21,374 --> 00:03:22,852 Well, you're the expert. 61 00:03:22,983 --> 00:03:25,072 - Who's your superior? - What? 62 00:03:25,203 --> 00:03:27,031 Who do you report to at the White House? 63 00:03:27,161 --> 00:03:30,121 Haldeman? Ehrlichman? Hess? 64 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:34,776 Colson? Atwater? Buchanan? Chapin? Fleming? 65 00:03:34,907 --> 00:03:36,169 You know a lot of people. 66 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,258 Honey, it's my job to network... 67 00:03:38,389 --> 00:03:40,130 among other jobs. 68 00:03:40,259 --> 00:03:42,000 At least you're at the Oval. 69 00:03:42,131 --> 00:03:44,916 You could be stuck with those headless turkeys over at CREEP. 70 00:03:45,047 --> 00:03:46,447 CREEP's the Committee to Re-elect... 71 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,311 The President. I know what CREEP stands for. 72 00:03:48,441 --> 00:03:50,442 I actually spend quite a lot of time over there. 73 00:03:50,573 --> 00:03:52,227 - Yeah. - Ah. 74 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:53,595 I used to work for the guy who was gonna be 75 00:03:53,619 --> 00:03:54,699 Nixon's new campaign chair. 76 00:03:54,794 --> 00:03:57,145 John-boy? Oh, my God! 77 00:03:57,275 --> 00:03:59,233 You tell him Francesca says hi. 78 00:03:59,363 --> 00:04:01,539 You know John Mitchell too? 79 00:04:01,670 --> 00:04:03,411 Sure I do. He's a dear friend. 80 00:04:03,541 --> 00:04:05,171 Hope he's keeping up with all that spring cleaning 81 00:04:05,195 --> 00:04:07,240 - over there. - Wait. 82 00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:08,502 Spring clean... You... 83 00:04:11,722 --> 00:04:13,507 You think h-h-he... Is he pushing people out? 84 00:04:13,637 --> 00:04:15,421 I didn't say that. 85 00:04:15,551 --> 00:04:16,988 I didn't not say it either. 86 00:04:17,162 --> 00:04:19,077 ♪ ...for you and me ♪ 87 00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:37,615 You are wanted. 88 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:40,444 You are essential. You cannot be fired. 89 00:04:57,502 --> 00:05:01,201 ♪ Well, down on the Street where the faces shine ♪ 90 00:05:05,466 --> 00:05:08,033 ♪ Floatin' around, On a real O-Mind ♪ 91 00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:15,301 ♪ I see a pretty thing ♪ 92 00:05:15,388 --> 00:05:18,694 ♪ Ain't no wall ♪ 93 00:05:18,868 --> 00:05:20,914 ♪ I see a pretty thing ♪ 94 00:05:23,177 --> 00:05:25,787 ♪ Ain't no wall ♪ 95 00:05:25,961 --> 00:05:28,007 ♪ No walls ♪ 96 00:05:28,181 --> 00:05:30,401 ♪ No walls ♪ 97 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:33,317 ♪ No walls ♪ 98 00:05:48,808 --> 00:05:50,680 ♪ Look at you ♪ 99 00:06:06,085 --> 00:06:07,912 A $52 phone call? 100 00:06:08,043 --> 00:06:09,957 Who the fuck is Martha talking to 101 00:06:10,088 --> 00:06:12,307 at two o'clock in the morning in Los Angeles? 102 00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:14,068 Uh, Lloyd Shearer at Parade. That would be my guess. 103 00:06:14,092 --> 00:06:15,528 He's a known subversive leftist. 104 00:06:15,658 --> 00:06:16,790 Cocksucker. 105 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,356 Not sure about that, sir, 106 00:06:18,486 --> 00:06:20,086 but I can pull up his file if you'd like. 107 00:06:21,533 --> 00:06:24,275 I was explicit with her. 108 00:06:24,405 --> 00:06:26,205 No solo interviews this close to the election. 109 00:06:29,844 --> 00:06:32,369 Any luck tracking down my wife? 110 00:06:32,499 --> 00:06:34,979 She hasn't returned from her taping yet, sir. 111 00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:36,850 But I have John Dean here for you. 112 00:06:36,981 --> 00:06:40,202 Oh, God. Yeah, send the fucker in. 113 00:06:43,769 --> 00:06:45,771 Dean, you flaxen-haired dog. How you doing, buddy? 114 00:06:45,858 --> 00:06:47,097 - Yeah, good to see you. - You take a seat. 115 00:06:47,121 --> 00:06:49,297 - Sir. - Dean. 116 00:06:49,384 --> 00:06:51,429 You look well. 117 00:06:51,516 --> 00:06:55,519 So, uh, I was told you wanted to see me about something. 118 00:06:55,650 --> 00:06:57,521 Oh, yes. 119 00:06:57,652 --> 00:06:59,151 Uh, as you know, we're gearing up for what promises to be 120 00:06:59,175 --> 00:07:00,741 a grueling reelection campaign. 121 00:07:00,871 --> 00:07:03,787 And as such, we are currently reevaluating 122 00:07:03,918 --> 00:07:07,095 certain select personnel. 123 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:09,097 "Reevaluating"? 124 00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:11,054 Yeah, that's right. Hey, tell me something. 125 00:07:11,185 --> 00:07:12,752 Where do you see yourself in a year? 126 00:07:12,882 --> 00:07:14,754 Where do... in a... 127 00:07:14,884 --> 00:07:17,104 Hmm, that's a... That's a great question. 128 00:07:17,235 --> 00:07:19,540 Um... 129 00:07:19,627 --> 00:07:21,977 Well, let me start by saying, 130 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,520 I have very much valued the opportunity 131 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,144 to help implement the president's vision. 132 00:07:25,242 --> 00:07:27,373 And I would urge you to remember my loyalty 133 00:07:27,504 --> 00:07:29,549 when considering my continued service 134 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,943 in whatever capacity that service might be needed, 135 00:07:32,073 --> 00:07:34,946 uh, going forward 136 00:07:35,033 --> 00:07:37,339 forthwith... 137 00:07:37,469 --> 00:07:39,384 in the future. 138 00:07:39,515 --> 00:07:42,561 What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 139 00:07:42,692 --> 00:07:44,823 I think he thinks this is 140 00:07:44,954 --> 00:07:47,739 some kind of spring-cleaning situation, sir. 141 00:07:47,870 --> 00:07:49,959 Wait, what? 142 00:07:50,089 --> 00:07:51,676 So you're not recommending that I be fired? 143 00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,179 No. Gosh, no! No. 144 00:07:53,266 --> 00:07:55,050 We brought you in here because we've uh, 145 00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:57,183 we got a kind of special opportunity for you. 146 00:07:57,313 --> 00:07:58,619 - Oh. - Yeah. 147 00:07:58,749 --> 00:08:00,708 Wow. Okay. Um... 148 00:08:00,838 --> 00:08:02,380 I assume you're aware of the Intelligence Unit 149 00:08:02,404 --> 00:08:03,797 that was set up in the Oval 150 00:08:03,927 --> 00:08:05,253 after this whole Pentagon Papers fiasco? 151 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,582 Right. The Plumbers. 152 00:08:06,713 --> 00:08:08,105 Yeah, that-that's right. 153 00:08:08,236 --> 00:08:10,846 Uh, there's a CIA reject named Howard Hunt. 154 00:08:10,933 --> 00:08:12,500 He's the main guy over there. 155 00:08:12,631 --> 00:08:14,850 And they're currently graduating 156 00:08:14,937 --> 00:08:18,898 from rooting out leaks to, uh, rat-fucking the Democrats. 157 00:08:19,027 --> 00:08:21,682 And there is a desire 158 00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:25,295 to enact a uh, similar operation 159 00:08:25,425 --> 00:08:27,558 on the campaign side of things. 160 00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:32,301 You mean you want to set up an espionage unit... 161 00:08:32,388 --> 00:08:34,564 here, in-inside the Committee to Re-elect 162 00:08:34,694 --> 00:08:36,305 to spy on the Democrats? 163 00:08:36,434 --> 00:08:37,957 - Oh, heavens, no, no. - No. 164 00:08:38,044 --> 00:08:39,481 Espionage? That's a... that's... 165 00:08:39,611 --> 00:08:41,222 That's a big... That's a serious word. 166 00:08:41,352 --> 00:08:43,876 No, we're talking about simple intelligence gathering. 167 00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,966 I see. Um... 168 00:08:48,097 --> 00:08:50,404 Nixon has 19 points on the Dems. 169 00:08:50,534 --> 00:08:52,101 The election is practically in the bag. 170 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,885 Why would we risk that kind of legal exposure? 171 00:08:54,972 --> 00:08:56,539 It's not our job to ask why. 172 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:59,716 If men like us asked why, we wouldn't have the pyramids. 173 00:08:59,847 --> 00:09:04,416 Swollen wet vaginas. 174 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,072 We are good men. 175 00:09:09,203 --> 00:09:10,857 We are men of integrity. 176 00:09:10,944 --> 00:09:12,640 But we come 177 00:09:12,771 --> 00:09:16,731 from our mothers' swollen wet vaginas 178 00:09:16,818 --> 00:09:19,256 with flaws. 179 00:09:19,343 --> 00:09:22,780 And a time comes where we need to employ those flaws 180 00:09:22,867 --> 00:09:24,912 to defeat our enemy. 181 00:09:25,043 --> 00:09:27,654 We must become snakes. 182 00:09:33,659 --> 00:09:36,619 I see, uh... 183 00:09:36,749 --> 00:09:37,749 Well, look... 184 00:09:40,752 --> 00:09:44,582 I'm not sure that it would be prudent for me 185 00:09:44,713 --> 00:09:48,629 to pursue any... 186 00:09:48,759 --> 00:09:52,502 snake behavior for you... 187 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:56,157 at this specific point in time. 188 00:09:56,288 --> 00:09:59,203 Hmm. 189 00:09:59,291 --> 00:10:01,815 Shit. 190 00:10:01,945 --> 00:10:04,164 Well, I'll tell the president. 191 00:10:04,295 --> 00:10:06,253 Sorry, the... the president? 192 00:10:06,384 --> 00:10:08,168 Who the fuck do you think asked for you? 193 00:10:08,299 --> 00:10:09,474 President Nixon asked for me? 194 00:10:09,561 --> 00:10:10,953 Well, to be clear, 195 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,495 the president would never involve himself 196 00:10:12,519 --> 00:10:13,868 in anything illegal, but, yes. 197 00:10:13,955 --> 00:10:15,348 It's a damn shame. 198 00:10:15,435 --> 00:10:17,655 We thought maybe you were one of us, but... 199 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:18,960 you can go. 200 00:10:21,353 --> 00:10:24,748 Diana, get Bob Haldeman for me. 201 00:10:24,835 --> 00:10:29,448 I think I may potentially know how to charm the snake. 202 00:10:29,578 --> 00:10:31,164 - I think I know a guy. - You know a guy? 203 00:10:31,188 --> 00:10:32,363 - I know a guy. - Oh. 204 00:10:32,494 --> 00:10:35,192 Bud Krogh's guy, Gordon... something. 205 00:10:35,323 --> 00:10:36,889 H-h-he'd be perfect 206 00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:39,369 for an intelligence-gathering operation of this scope. 207 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:42,590 He's high logistical savvy, genius-level IQ, Mensa type. 208 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,157 - Sounds like our type. - Liddy. Gordon Liddy. 209 00:10:45,288 --> 00:10:47,115 That's his name, uh, Gordon Liddy. 210 00:10:47,245 --> 00:10:49,204 If you were to hire him, 211 00:10:49,335 --> 00:10:52,338 say, as a general counsel... 212 00:10:54,165 --> 00:10:56,166 I could get him settled in. 213 00:10:56,253 --> 00:10:57,994 Show him the ropes. 214 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:01,998 And I could answer any... 215 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:06,175 election-compliance questions that he might have. 216 00:11:10,876 --> 00:11:13,095 He's good, isn't he? Didn't I say he's good? 217 00:11:13,225 --> 00:11:14,922 Mr. Mitchell? 218 00:11:15,053 --> 00:11:16,750 I have your wife on the phone. 219 00:11:16,881 --> 00:11:18,162 She says she's about to go into a magazine interview. 220 00:11:18,186 --> 00:11:19,797 Sick... Okay, get the fuck out. 221 00:11:19,927 --> 00:11:21,078 What the two of you still doing here? 222 00:11:21,102 --> 00:11:22,364 - Yes, sir.. - Go. Go, go. 223 00:11:22,494 --> 00:11:25,018 Uh, thank you. Thank you, sir. 224 00:11:25,149 --> 00:11:27,151 Martha marshmallow. 225 00:11:27,281 --> 00:11:29,153 What's this I hear about an interview? 226 00:11:29,283 --> 00:11:30,675 Hey, Dean, Dean! 227 00:11:30,806 --> 00:11:32,285 Hold on. One more thing. 228 00:11:32,373 --> 00:11:35,071 We're gonna want, um, your, uh, Liddy friend 229 00:11:35,201 --> 00:11:37,465 to wrangle up a little presentation for the group, 230 00:11:37,595 --> 00:11:39,291 just a run-through of potential... 231 00:11:39,422 --> 00:11:41,032 Martha, you are not listening... 232 00:11:41,119 --> 00:11:43,600 intelligence gathering, you-you know, 233 00:11:43,687 --> 00:11:45,863 - Espionage targets. - Right. 234 00:11:45,994 --> 00:11:47,101 So, uh, next Thursday morning? Is that okay? 235 00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:48,648 Next Thursday? 236 00:11:48,778 --> 00:11:50,103 It's a little tight, I know, but Mitchell, 237 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:53,957 he's stretched so thin with the, you know, wife. 238 00:11:54,044 --> 00:11:55,350 I've told you, no solo interviews 239 00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:57,960 that haven't gone through the campaign. 240 00:11:58,091 --> 00:12:00,528 - M-Martha, what did I tell you? - So Thursday? 241 00:12:00,659 --> 00:12:02,487 Hmm, yeah. Oh, absolutely. No problem. 242 00:12:02,617 --> 00:12:04,489 Terrific. Terrific, Deano! Fabulous. 243 00:12:04,619 --> 00:12:06,141 Martha? 244 00:12:06,272 --> 00:12:07,447 Martha! 245 00:12:09,623 --> 00:12:11,538 Right there. 246 00:12:13,932 --> 00:12:15,672 Oh, why, thank you, dear. 247 00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:17,650 And could you please get a martini for Ms. McLendon? 248 00:12:17,674 --> 00:12:19,415 Oh, no. No, thank you. 249 00:12:19,502 --> 00:12:21,088 I-I don't usually drink with my interview subjects. 250 00:12:21,112 --> 00:12:23,132 Mr. McCord here, he doesn't drink on the job either. 251 00:12:23,156 --> 00:12:25,681 I don't trust him one bit. 252 00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:27,509 Uh, with a twist. 253 00:12:27,639 --> 00:12:29,119 - Mm-hmm. - Thank you. 254 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,425 Now, where were we? 255 00:12:30,555 --> 00:12:32,034 Uh, well, I was ask... 256 00:12:32,164 --> 00:12:35,559 Oh, have I shown you my vases? They're Chinese. 257 00:12:35,690 --> 00:12:37,996 Yes. Uh, I was asking if there's any truth 258 00:12:38,127 --> 00:12:40,129 to the talk that your ease with the press 259 00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:41,888 has soured your relationship with the president. 260 00:12:41,912 --> 00:12:43,653 A vicious rumor. 261 00:12:43,784 --> 00:12:46,743 I am the one who introduced Dick to my husband. 262 00:12:46,874 --> 00:12:49,397 So there's no concern that you're overshadowing Nixon? 263 00:12:49,528 --> 00:12:51,704 You make me sound like an old oak tree. 264 00:12:51,791 --> 00:12:54,141 Would you ask such a question to Kissinger? 265 00:12:54,271 --> 00:12:55,708 With all due respect, 266 00:12:55,838 --> 00:12:57,970 Kissinger doesn't have a 76% name recognition 267 00:12:58,100 --> 00:12:59,450 with American families, you do. 268 00:12:59,537 --> 00:13:01,713 Well, someone should tell that to Pat Nixon. 269 00:13:01,843 --> 00:13:04,846 She has been double-booking our events to make a point. 270 00:13:04,977 --> 00:13:07,413 Just this week, I had to reschedule a fundraiser 271 00:13:07,544 --> 00:13:10,851 just to satisfy her lust for the spotlight. 272 00:13:10,982 --> 00:13:12,766 Right on. 273 00:13:12,897 --> 00:13:15,855 Let's get the vase in the frame now and the portrait. 274 00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:20,947 This won't be the first time 275 00:13:21,078 --> 00:13:22,718 I've had to be glamorous under my husband. 276 00:13:24,297 --> 00:13:26,082 Uh, Mrs. Mitchell, just because I write 277 00:13:26,212 --> 00:13:27,407 for the Ladies' Home Journal doesn't mean 278 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:29,433 that this isn't a real interview. 279 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,349 A couple months ago, you spoke out against the war. 280 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:34,437 And I'm wondering if your husband 281 00:13:34,568 --> 00:13:35,786 or the president has... 282 00:13:35,917 --> 00:13:38,310 Oh, you spoil me. 283 00:13:38,441 --> 00:13:40,617 Look at that. Thank you. 284 00:13:40,748 --> 00:13:42,052 There you are. 285 00:13:42,183 --> 00:13:43,967 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 286 00:13:45,665 --> 00:13:48,319 Winnie... May I call you Winnie? 287 00:13:48,450 --> 00:13:50,320 - Sure. - You want to know why 288 00:13:50,407 --> 00:13:52,366 I've made these comments against the war? 289 00:13:52,453 --> 00:13:54,760 Well, it's because my own boy, Jay, 290 00:13:54,890 --> 00:13:56,675 is over there in that godforsaken jungle 291 00:13:56,805 --> 00:13:58,459 fighting for his life as we speak, 292 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,156 surrounded by men who are trying to kill him. 293 00:14:01,243 --> 00:14:03,637 Do you know what that's like? 294 00:14:03,768 --> 00:14:06,858 Just constantly worried that he might not make it home? 295 00:14:11,035 --> 00:14:12,732 Oh, dear. 296 00:14:12,863 --> 00:14:14,125 Who is it for you? 297 00:14:14,255 --> 00:14:17,083 My little brother. He's... 298 00:14:17,214 --> 00:14:19,869 I see. 299 00:14:19,999 --> 00:14:21,871 We are empathetic creatures. 300 00:14:22,001 --> 00:14:23,307 Yes. 301 00:14:23,437 --> 00:14:25,961 Now, some people see that as a weakness. 302 00:14:26,091 --> 00:14:29,225 But I decided long ago that I will say how I feel. 303 00:14:29,355 --> 00:14:30,748 And if that does not conform 304 00:14:30,879 --> 00:14:32,489 to the president's message, so be it. 305 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:34,220 If that gets me banned off Air Force One, 306 00:14:34,316 --> 00:14:35,839 I will fly commercial. 307 00:14:41,802 --> 00:14:43,498 So you were banned from Air Force One? 308 00:14:43,629 --> 00:14:47,023 - Oh, you're good. - I-I do want to hear that story. 309 00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:48,459 You caught that. 310 00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:50,089 We can get back to the real questions, but... 311 00:14:50,113 --> 00:14:51,113 Martha? 312 00:14:51,244 --> 00:14:52,637 Where are you? 313 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,484 We're in the sitting room, cupcake. Put that away. 314 00:14:54,508 --> 00:14:56,292 McCord! Where's McCord? 315 00:14:56,423 --> 00:14:58,338 Yes, sir. 316 00:14:58,468 --> 00:15:00,557 Would you kindly escort these people 317 00:15:00,644 --> 00:15:02,733 the fuck out of my home? 318 00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:03,516 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, I'm so sorry. 319 00:15:03,647 --> 00:15:05,344 That's okay. 320 00:15:05,474 --> 00:15:06,582 Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming. 321 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:07,714 - Thank you. - Sorry about this. 322 00:15:07,738 --> 00:15:08,781 No, thank you so much. 323 00:15:17,659 --> 00:15:19,138 Have you gone insane? 324 00:15:19,269 --> 00:15:21,663 I told you, no more print interviews. 325 00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:24,013 Oh, it's a ladies' magazine. 326 00:15:24,143 --> 00:15:26,381 They were asking me about the curtains, for Christ's sake. 327 00:15:26,405 --> 00:15:28,016 Oh, I know exactly what you're doing. 328 00:15:28,146 --> 00:15:30,124 You're just trying to take the spotlight from Pat Nixon. 329 00:15:30,148 --> 00:15:32,237 I would never. Let me do this. 330 00:15:32,368 --> 00:15:34,543 Do... do you really think that she, in a million years, 331 00:15:34,674 --> 00:15:36,197 would plan her concert 332 00:15:36,327 --> 00:15:37,740 just to be on the same night as your party? 333 00:15:37,764 --> 00:15:39,592 It's a fundraiser, 334 00:15:39,679 --> 00:15:42,246 for her husband's campaign, by the way. 335 00:15:42,377 --> 00:15:44,465 And, yes, I think she absolutely meant to do it. 336 00:15:44,596 --> 00:15:46,075 Oh, it was a misunderstanding. 337 00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:48,556 The Bay of Pigs was a misunderstanding. 338 00:15:48,687 --> 00:15:50,079 This is an encroachment. 339 00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,690 Oh, for fuck's sake. 340 00:15:53,299 --> 00:15:56,389 I had to reorganize everything. 341 00:15:56,476 --> 00:15:59,392 The caterer, the flowers, 342 00:15:59,479 --> 00:16:01,262 all because you don't know how to stand up 343 00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:02,873 to your boss' wife. 344 00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:07,355 At least Pat Nixon knows how to support her husband. 345 00:16:07,486 --> 00:16:10,706 That's not what I heard. 346 00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:12,751 Maybe if she stopped talking behind my back, 347 00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:16,320 she might find a more fruitful use for that mouth of hers. 348 00:16:18,930 --> 00:16:21,890 Are you implying that the first lady 349 00:16:21,977 --> 00:16:24,893 isn't blowing her husband enough? 350 00:16:25,023 --> 00:16:26,111 What? 351 00:16:26,242 --> 00:16:28,199 No! You're disgusting. 352 00:16:28,330 --> 00:16:29,636 Oh. 353 00:16:29,766 --> 00:16:31,333 She wouldn't know where to start. 354 00:16:33,422 --> 00:16:34,510 But I do. 355 00:16:36,380 --> 00:16:38,469 I know right where to sta... 356 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,558 Okay, stop it. Stop it. 357 00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:42,082 Don't I? 358 00:16:42,212 --> 00:16:43,712 Stop it, Martha. I'm really angry this time. 359 00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:44,736 Oh, all right. 360 00:16:47,782 --> 00:16:49,044 I'm sorry. 361 00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,528 How can I make it up to you? 362 00:17:05,493 --> 00:17:07,713 That'll be enough. You can stand down. 363 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,149 Yes, sir. 364 00:17:20,550 --> 00:17:21,986 Mm. 365 00:17:22,117 --> 00:17:23,197 I thought he'd never leave. 366 00:17:26,034 --> 00:17:28,470 - Welcome home. - Mm. 367 00:17:39,915 --> 00:17:42,918 He should be done with his call any moment now, Mr. Liddy. 368 00:17:43,049 --> 00:17:44,615 Are you sure you don't need anything? 369 00:17:44,703 --> 00:17:46,138 No, thank you. 370 00:17:48,357 --> 00:17:49,968 What's your name? 371 00:17:50,098 --> 00:17:51,926 Uh, Linda. 372 00:17:54,493 --> 00:17:57,191 Gordon. I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. 373 00:17:57,278 --> 00:17:59,169 Great to meet you. Finally put a face to the name. 374 00:17:59,193 --> 00:18:01,195 You ready? Let's walk. 375 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:07,070 These pitches always wind me up. 376 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,028 You nervous? 377 00:18:09,159 --> 00:18:11,161 Oh, I don't experience human neuroses. 378 00:18:13,336 --> 00:18:16,165 I actually feed off these moments. 379 00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:19,994 There's a wild and manic energy to them, animal energy. 380 00:18:22,039 --> 00:18:23,039 Hmm. 381 00:18:25,564 --> 00:18:29,785 Ouch. What happened there? 382 00:18:29,872 --> 00:18:33,397 I was sourcing operational recruits... 383 00:18:33,528 --> 00:18:36,444 Cubans. 384 00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:40,708 I needed to show them that I am what the Spanish call macho. 385 00:18:40,839 --> 00:18:44,712 So I placed my hand into the... 386 00:18:44,843 --> 00:18:47,105 The short flame of a candle and held it there 387 00:18:47,235 --> 00:18:49,020 until the room smelled of roasting flesh. 388 00:18:51,544 --> 00:18:54,199 Only then were they willing to call me their jefe. 389 00:18:59,116 --> 00:19:01,248 Gentlemen, as you know, 390 00:19:01,335 --> 00:19:04,555 our president faces a daunting campaign season. 391 00:19:04,642 --> 00:19:08,428 For that reason, I've devised a plan for covert operations, 392 00:19:08,559 --> 00:19:10,079 the likes of which our electoral system 393 00:19:10,126 --> 00:19:11,214 has never seen. 394 00:19:12,823 --> 00:19:14,216 I present you... 395 00:19:17,219 --> 00:19:18,916 Operation Gemstone. 396 00:19:20,613 --> 00:19:22,440 The Gemstone, 397 00:19:22,527 --> 00:19:25,574 brilliant, sparkling... 398 00:19:25,661 --> 00:19:28,055 impervious. 399 00:19:28,185 --> 00:19:30,796 I have crafted an integrated strategy 400 00:19:30,926 --> 00:19:34,582 meant to function seamlessly in enemy territoire. 401 00:19:34,712 --> 00:19:35,931 Phase one... 402 00:19:37,628 --> 00:19:39,629 Operation Quartz. 403 00:19:39,716 --> 00:19:42,023 - A covert manipulation... - Oh, quartz... 404 00:19:42,154 --> 00:19:44,504 Uh, quartz is actually a mineral. 405 00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:45,853 Excuse me? 406 00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:47,264 Uh, quartz is actually a mineral. 407 00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:48,594 It's not a gemsto... 408 00:19:48,724 --> 00:19:51,466 I took a little geology at uh, Williams, 409 00:19:51,597 --> 00:19:53,251 which I briefly attended. 410 00:19:53,381 --> 00:19:56,296 But I-I just love rocks. Please proceed. 411 00:19:56,427 --> 00:19:59,865 Operation Quartz... 412 00:19:59,996 --> 00:20:02,085 a covert manipulation 413 00:20:02,215 --> 00:20:04,348 of the Democrats' outer circle. 414 00:20:04,477 --> 00:20:07,916 We will round up their fringe activist leaders 415 00:20:08,046 --> 00:20:12,659 and export them to black sites deep in the heart of Mexico. 416 00:20:12,790 --> 00:20:17,098 Each capture will slice a viper from Medusa's crown. 417 00:20:17,228 --> 00:20:20,928 Their leaderless ranks will wither away. 418 00:20:21,058 --> 00:20:24,800 Is that "export" as in kidnap? 419 00:20:24,931 --> 00:20:28,238 "Forced rendition" is the optimal descriptor. 420 00:20:28,369 --> 00:20:30,240 Next up... 421 00:20:30,327 --> 00:20:32,763 Operation Ruby... 422 00:20:32,851 --> 00:20:36,115 The blood-red gem of a duplicitous woman. 423 00:20:36,245 --> 00:20:40,248 The Democrats are weak, their women cold. 424 00:20:40,335 --> 00:20:42,990 We will secure a pleasure craft 425 00:20:43,121 --> 00:20:45,427 wired for sight and sound 426 00:20:45,558 --> 00:20:48,081 and sailed to the Democratic National Convention, 427 00:20:48,212 --> 00:20:50,562 where we will capture their officials 428 00:20:50,692 --> 00:20:54,218 enjoying the company of women trained in the erotic arts, 429 00:20:54,348 --> 00:20:56,698 some of the finest in the country. 430 00:20:56,784 --> 00:21:00,876 You want to film... 431 00:21:01,006 --> 00:21:04,096 Democratic officials... 432 00:21:04,227 --> 00:21:07,142 on a boat with hookers? 433 00:21:09,492 --> 00:21:13,626 Call it a passion play for opposition leverage, sir. 434 00:21:13,713 --> 00:21:16,715 Just out of curiosity, how many of these gemstones 435 00:21:16,846 --> 00:21:18,717 are we going to be reviewing today? 436 00:21:18,848 --> 00:21:20,850 Eleven. With four subparts. 437 00:21:20,981 --> 00:21:23,199 And, uh, how much is this all gonna cost? 438 00:21:23,286 --> 00:21:24,505 We're looking at a price point 439 00:21:24,635 --> 00:21:26,681 between $50,000 and $100,000 apiece. 440 00:21:26,768 --> 00:21:28,596 Right. Just finger math... 441 00:21:28,726 --> 00:21:32,468 That's uh, way over budget, sir, astonishingly so. 442 00:21:32,599 --> 00:21:33,924 And that will not be a problem, young man. 443 00:21:33,948 --> 00:21:36,211 Oh, good. 444 00:21:36,298 --> 00:21:37,797 I do hope you gentlemen have had a chance 445 00:21:37,821 --> 00:21:38,842 to brush up on your II Corinthians, 446 00:21:38,866 --> 00:21:42,477 because, well... 447 00:21:42,608 --> 00:21:44,436 this is where we get to play God. 448 00:21:46,742 --> 00:21:48,570 My pitches are too ambitious? 449 00:21:51,746 --> 00:21:55,794 Who in the fresh hell does Mitchell think he is? 450 00:21:55,925 --> 00:21:59,449 You see the way he looked at me when all was said and done? 451 00:21:59,579 --> 00:22:00,798 Uh, no. I didn't catch that. 452 00:22:00,885 --> 00:22:02,452 I'll tell you, like a rat at his feet. 453 00:22:02,539 --> 00:22:06,325 It was like vomit. That's how he looked at me. 454 00:22:06,455 --> 00:22:09,588 You know, t-those guys can be very indelicate, uh, sometimes. 455 00:22:09,719 --> 00:22:11,721 I wouldn't take it too-too personally. 456 00:22:11,851 --> 00:22:14,463 And Magruder... That little pissant... 457 00:22:15,985 --> 00:22:19,119 "Quartz is a mineral." 458 00:22:19,249 --> 00:22:20,642 He's lucky I didn't snap his spine 459 00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:21,904 right in the fucking room. 460 00:22:25,689 --> 00:22:26,995 Um... 461 00:22:31,739 --> 00:22:32,869 What did you think? 462 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,349 Huh? 463 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,177 Of the pitch, what did you think? 464 00:22:36,264 --> 00:22:38,963 You can tell me. I'm... I can take it. 465 00:22:41,226 --> 00:22:44,706 What did I think? I-I-I-I-I really liked it. 466 00:22:44,837 --> 00:22:47,927 I-I knew it! 467 00:22:48,058 --> 00:22:50,058 I saw your body language in the room, and I knew... 468 00:22:50,146 --> 00:22:51,321 I knew Dean liked it. 469 00:22:51,451 --> 00:22:52,800 What was your favorite part? 470 00:22:52,931 --> 00:22:54,498 My favorite? 471 00:22:54,628 --> 00:22:57,501 Um, gosh, you know, th... T-there were a lot of elements. 472 00:22:57,631 --> 00:22:59,067 You know, I loved the... 473 00:22:59,197 --> 00:23:00,851 T-the cheerful font was very interesting. 474 00:23:00,982 --> 00:23:02,505 I did the font. 475 00:23:02,635 --> 00:23:04,246 - Great, uh... - I came up with the font. 476 00:23:04,376 --> 00:23:06,857 Yeah, look, let me pitch you something. 477 00:23:11,295 --> 00:23:15,256 How about you and I never talk about this ever again, 478 00:23:15,386 --> 00:23:16,430 ideally? 479 00:23:22,697 --> 00:23:24,742 Okay, compadre. 480 00:23:24,872 --> 00:23:26,004 Enough said. 481 00:23:29,877 --> 00:23:31,618 I do. I really like this one. 482 00:23:31,748 --> 00:23:33,836 I think that's nice, dear. 483 00:23:37,579 --> 00:23:39,451 ♪ Let's fly away ♪ 484 00:23:41,496 --> 00:23:43,976 ♪ And find a land that's warm and tropic ♪ 485 00:23:44,063 --> 00:23:45,238 We are in for a night. 486 00:23:45,369 --> 00:23:46,979 You. 487 00:23:47,110 --> 00:23:50,156 Whenever he has on tails, this happens. 488 00:23:50,287 --> 00:23:52,723 It does. Whenever you put on your tails... 489 00:23:52,810 --> 00:23:55,073 it makes you crazy. 490 00:23:55,204 --> 00:23:59,556 - It's Daddy dancing time. - Aw... 491 00:23:59,729 --> 00:24:01,687 ♪ And find a land that's so provincial ♪ 492 00:24:01,861 --> 00:24:05,909 ♪ We'll never hear what Walter Winchell ♪ 493 00:24:06,083 --> 00:24:07,824 ♪ Might be forced to say ♪ 494 00:24:07,954 --> 00:24:10,826 I need a zip here when you're done, Fred Astaire. 495 00:24:10,956 --> 00:24:13,133 Yes, ma'am. I think we can hear mother now. 496 00:24:16,353 --> 00:24:17,962 Shimmy it up. 497 00:24:18,050 --> 00:24:20,574 Ooh. 498 00:24:20,704 --> 00:24:23,098 There it is. Look at that neck. 499 00:24:23,229 --> 00:24:24,839 There's a tiny little hook. 500 00:24:24,926 --> 00:24:26,970 Now, that's a neck. That's... 501 00:24:27,101 --> 00:24:28,798 that's a neck I'd like to neck. 502 00:24:31,845 --> 00:24:33,586 I can't get that... 503 00:24:36,066 --> 00:24:37,154 - Lovely. - Love you. 504 00:25:07,355 --> 00:25:11,445 ♪ I'll make your life sublime ♪ 505 00:25:11,575 --> 00:25:13,510 Pat sure has made a statement seating us back here. 506 00:25:13,534 --> 00:25:15,057 I can't see a thing. 507 00:25:15,188 --> 00:25:17,581 And, honey, you know it was no accident. 508 00:25:17,755 --> 00:25:19,060 ♪ I'll take up all your time ♪ 509 00:25:19,234 --> 00:25:23,238 ♪ Compromising you ♪ 510 00:25:23,412 --> 00:25:24,718 ♪ Let's not delay... ♪ 511 00:25:24,848 --> 00:25:26,589 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 512 00:25:26,676 --> 00:25:28,503 the President and Mrs. Nixon present 513 00:25:28,634 --> 00:25:30,288 the Ray Conniff Singers. 514 00:25:32,855 --> 00:25:34,857 ♪ New York is not for me ♪ 515 00:25:37,598 --> 00:25:40,166 ♪ Let's fly away ♪ 516 00:25:46,737 --> 00:25:48,173 President Nixon, 517 00:25:48,304 --> 00:25:50,132 stop bombing human beings, 518 00:25:50,262 --> 00:25:52,395 animals, and vegetation. 519 00:25:52,525 --> 00:25:53,873 You go to church on Sundays, 520 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,310 and you pray to Jesus Christ. 521 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,268 If Jesus Christ were here tonight, 522 00:25:57,399 --> 00:25:59,792 you would not dare drop another bomb. 523 00:25:59,923 --> 00:26:02,664 Bless the Berrigans and bless Daniel Ellsberg. 524 00:26:02,794 --> 00:26:04,318 Get her off the stage! 525 00:26:15,632 --> 00:26:17,373 Sorry about that, Mr. President. 526 00:26:17,504 --> 00:26:20,114 Looks like someone needs to go back to finishing school. 527 00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:22,638 Let's move along, shall we? 528 00:26:22,769 --> 00:26:23,769 Ladies... 529 00:26:32,038 --> 00:26:33,170 Maureen? 530 00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:34,736 Hey, John Dean. 531 00:26:34,823 --> 00:26:36,476 - Hi. - Hi. I am so sorry I'm late. 532 00:26:36,607 --> 00:26:37,869 That's fine. 533 00:26:37,999 --> 00:26:39,479 It's not some first-date power move. 534 00:26:39,610 --> 00:26:41,065 You know, things have been nuts at work... 535 00:26:41,089 --> 00:26:42,937 - You know what? It's Mo. - Traffic and... what? 536 00:26:42,961 --> 00:26:44,615 You can just call me Mo. 537 00:26:44,745 --> 00:26:46,635 Uh, the dating service suggested that I use Maureen... 538 00:26:46,659 --> 00:26:48,357 Oh, Mo... 539 00:26:48,487 --> 00:26:49,551 'cause I guess they thought people would make... 540 00:26:49,575 --> 00:26:50,726 - Like the Stooges? - A Stooges joke. 541 00:26:50,750 --> 00:26:51,577 What? Oh. 542 00:26:51,664 --> 00:26:53,536 So sorry. 543 00:26:53,623 --> 00:26:55,863 You're doing the Stooges... I didn't... No, I-I remember. 544 00:26:57,278 --> 00:26:58,888 - Good. - Yes. 545 00:26:58,975 --> 00:27:01,804 - Stooges. - Um, so... 546 00:27:01,934 --> 00:27:04,675 Hi, hello. How are you know? Now, I'm gonna give you these. 547 00:27:04,806 --> 00:27:06,982 It's for the, uh, Dijon Porsche out front. 548 00:27:07,112 --> 00:27:08,810 Now, there's not a scratch on it right now. 549 00:27:08,940 --> 00:27:10,614 And that's how I want to find her when I come back, okay? 550 00:27:10,638 --> 00:27:12,223 I'm gonna take special care of you, okay? 551 00:27:12,247 --> 00:27:14,336 - Mm-hmm. - Thank you so much. 552 00:27:14,423 --> 00:27:15,685 Your table's ready. 553 00:27:15,816 --> 00:27:18,514 All right. Thank you. 554 00:27:18,601 --> 00:27:22,430 Mele Kalikimaka. That's the thing to say. 555 00:27:22,561 --> 00:27:24,911 In blood, chained to the door of County Animal Control, 556 00:27:25,041 --> 00:27:27,218 and I am screaming, "No more pets have to die!" 557 00:27:27,348 --> 00:27:28,523 I'm sorry. 558 00:27:28,654 --> 00:27:30,002 "No more pets have to die." 559 00:27:30,132 --> 00:27:33,397 And then 20 minutes later, I, uh... 560 00:27:33,484 --> 00:27:35,442 I find out I-I have the wrong address, 561 00:27:35,529 --> 00:27:37,159 and I am chained to the dentist's office next door. 562 00:27:37,183 --> 00:27:39,184 No! 563 00:27:39,315 --> 00:27:41,099 I guess I was a-a young man with conviction. 564 00:27:41,230 --> 00:27:43,057 So what can I say? 565 00:27:43,188 --> 00:27:44,644 You know, it's embarrassing to even think about it. 566 00:27:44,668 --> 00:27:46,625 No, no, it's so cute. 567 00:27:51,021 --> 00:27:54,459 You know, I'll be honest, at the start of the night, I... 568 00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:55,981 I thought I was in real trouble. 569 00:27:56,112 --> 00:27:59,376 Oh. Why is that? 570 00:27:59,507 --> 00:28:01,291 Well, I don't want to burst your bubble, 571 00:28:01,378 --> 00:28:05,076 but you don't exactly make the best first impression. 572 00:28:05,207 --> 00:28:06,904 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 573 00:28:07,035 --> 00:28:09,429 You seemed like you were gonna be a huge piece of shit. 574 00:28:09,559 --> 00:28:11,518 Oh. 575 00:28:11,605 --> 00:28:15,216 Well, that's funny, because you kind of seemed 576 00:28:15,347 --> 00:28:17,044 stuck up and weird. 577 00:28:17,174 --> 00:28:18,785 No, I didn't. 578 00:28:18,872 --> 00:28:20,874 You're right. 579 00:28:21,003 --> 00:28:23,745 You seemed great from the beginning. 580 00:28:26,966 --> 00:28:28,315 So what's a stewardess from L.A. 581 00:28:28,446 --> 00:28:30,751 doing on a-a D.C. dating service? 582 00:28:30,882 --> 00:28:32,971 I'm doing research. 583 00:28:33,058 --> 00:28:36,627 I'm thinking of doing some writing. 584 00:28:36,757 --> 00:28:38,454 You want to be a journalist. 585 00:28:38,584 --> 00:28:40,107 - Mm. - No. 586 00:28:40,238 --> 00:28:41,935 Someone didn't read my profile too closely. 587 00:28:42,066 --> 00:28:44,024 - Well, I... - I want to write novels. 588 00:28:44,155 --> 00:28:45,199 - Oh. - Romantic novels. 589 00:28:45,330 --> 00:28:46,505 Oh? 590 00:28:46,592 --> 00:28:48,419 Stop it. It's nothing smutty. 591 00:28:48,550 --> 00:28:50,070 No, no, no, that's... That's fantastic. 592 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,031 But, um... 593 00:28:52,162 --> 00:28:53,511 why D.C.? 594 00:28:53,642 --> 00:28:55,339 I mean, people come here for depth... 595 00:28:55,470 --> 00:28:56,513 No, I really like it here. 596 00:28:56,644 --> 00:28:58,298 - You do? - I-I don't know. 597 00:28:58,428 --> 00:28:59,299 People come here to make a difference in the world. 598 00:28:59,429 --> 00:29:01,213 - Well... - It's nice. 599 00:29:01,344 --> 00:29:02,737 I mean, God, I'm not naive. 600 00:29:02,867 --> 00:29:05,260 I know, everybody has to make compromises. 601 00:29:05,347 --> 00:29:08,872 And, well, you probably know that better than anyone. 602 00:29:09,003 --> 00:29:10,047 What do you mean by that? 603 00:29:11,571 --> 00:29:13,137 Come on. You know... 604 00:29:15,530 --> 00:29:16,923 I'm... I'm not sure I do. 605 00:29:17,053 --> 00:29:18,751 I mean, um, I-it just must be difficult 606 00:29:18,881 --> 00:29:20,143 working for a man like that. 607 00:29:20,274 --> 00:29:21,580 A man like what? 608 00:29:21,710 --> 00:29:24,451 A man like Richard Nixon. 609 00:29:24,538 --> 00:29:26,975 He's just a little bit of a liar, don't you think? 610 00:29:27,106 --> 00:29:28,847 Oh, right. 611 00:29:28,977 --> 00:29:31,936 And you think LBJ was some kind of Boy Scout? 612 00:29:32,066 --> 00:29:34,199 Well, Nixon really takes it to a whole other level. 613 00:29:34,286 --> 00:29:36,027 How so? 614 00:29:36,157 --> 00:29:38,246 Uh, the stuff about ending the war, for one thing. 615 00:29:38,377 --> 00:29:39,701 He's drawn down troop levels by two thirds 616 00:29:39,725 --> 00:29:41,161 since he's been in office. 617 00:29:41,292 --> 00:29:42,922 I saw on the news he's increased bombings. 618 00:29:42,946 --> 00:29:45,296 Did the news also mention that he signed Title IX 619 00:29:45,427 --> 00:29:46,950 or established 620 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:47,559 the Environmental Protection Agency? 621 00:29:47,646 --> 00:29:49,517 Wow. 622 00:29:49,604 --> 00:29:50,755 You've really talked yourself into this, haven't you? 623 00:29:50,779 --> 00:29:52,476 Talked myself into what? 624 00:29:53,651 --> 00:29:54,651 Um... 625 00:29:56,958 --> 00:29:58,481 Maybe this wasn't 626 00:29:58,568 --> 00:30:00,067 the best topic of conversation to bring up... 627 00:30:00,091 --> 00:30:01,417 - No, no, no, no, no, no.. - We don't have... John... 628 00:30:01,441 --> 00:30:02,809 What about you? What... what about you? 629 00:30:02,833 --> 00:30:03,921 What about me? 630 00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:05,270 Oh, come on. 631 00:30:05,401 --> 00:30:06,793 Uh... 632 00:30:06,923 --> 00:30:08,751 You're just like all your liberal friends. 633 00:30:08,882 --> 00:30:10,971 You... you playact like you want to save the world, 634 00:30:11,058 --> 00:30:12,731 when all you really care about is finding a guy 635 00:30:12,755 --> 00:30:14,275 with enough bread to pick up the check. 636 00:30:22,068 --> 00:30:24,765 Hoped you guys saved room for the Baked Alaska. 637 00:30:28,421 --> 00:30:29,981 I must have been drunk when I said that. 638 00:30:30,031 --> 00:30:31,902 Now I've got Dick calling me 639 00:30:32,032 --> 00:30:33,712 'cause he's got Kissinger up his ass again. 640 00:30:35,209 --> 00:30:36,863 I should have said no to Dick 641 00:30:36,994 --> 00:30:40,084 the second he asked me to come play politics out here. 642 00:30:40,214 --> 00:30:42,694 Should have stayed in New York. Could have kept my practice. 643 00:30:42,781 --> 00:30:45,567 Hmm. We'd still have our house Upstate. 644 00:30:45,697 --> 00:30:47,438 Remember when we used to drink 645 00:30:47,569 --> 00:30:49,004 a whole bottle of blackberry wine 646 00:30:49,134 --> 00:30:51,223 and watch the moon rise over the bay? 647 00:30:51,310 --> 00:30:53,443 - I miss those nights. - Mm. 648 00:30:53,530 --> 00:30:56,272 I've got an idea. 649 00:30:56,403 --> 00:30:57,510 Let's catch a flight somewhere, 650 00:30:57,534 --> 00:31:01,058 we'll go to China, India, New York. 651 00:31:01,189 --> 00:31:03,147 Dick needs me, honey bear. You know that. 652 00:31:03,278 --> 00:31:05,019 The man's an emotional wreck. 653 00:31:05,149 --> 00:31:07,029 Without me, he wouldn't get through to November. 654 00:31:09,805 --> 00:31:12,460 Of course. Don't know what I was thinking. 655 00:31:24,949 --> 00:31:26,124 Hello? 656 00:31:26,254 --> 00:31:27,734 Winnie, honey. 657 00:31:27,821 --> 00:31:29,103 You won't believe the night I've had, 658 00:31:29,127 --> 00:31:29,997 a protester crashed... 659 00:31:30,128 --> 00:31:32,217 Martha? 660 00:31:32,347 --> 00:31:33,367 The first lady's miserable social evening. 661 00:31:33,391 --> 00:31:35,045 Jesus, what time is it? 662 00:31:35,175 --> 00:31:37,526 Poor woman. They had to drag her right off the stage. 663 00:31:37,656 --> 00:31:39,528 How did you get my number? 664 00:31:39,658 --> 00:31:41,157 Of course my husband had to leave me alone the whole night 665 00:31:41,181 --> 00:31:42,593 'cause he's busy playing the middleman 666 00:31:42,617 --> 00:31:44,140 in this silly feud 667 00:31:44,270 --> 00:31:46,316 the president's got going with Henry. 668 00:31:46,447 --> 00:31:47,709 Henry? 669 00:31:47,796 --> 00:31:50,406 As in, like... 670 00:31:50,537 --> 00:31:52,016 Henry Kissinger? 671 00:31:52,147 --> 00:31:53,844 I really shouldn't say. 672 00:32:15,734 --> 00:32:18,387 Father. May I? 673 00:32:23,305 --> 00:32:25,698 Raymond, what are you doing up? 674 00:32:28,962 --> 00:32:30,921 I was having bad dreams again. 675 00:32:33,097 --> 00:32:34,837 Are you okay, Father? 676 00:32:34,967 --> 00:32:38,188 Had a little whoopsie today at work. 677 00:32:38,275 --> 00:32:40,190 What kind of whoopsie? 678 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,888 Remember when you were in art class 679 00:32:44,019 --> 00:32:46,630 and Miss Grimmer caught you eating all the other kids' glue 680 00:32:46,761 --> 00:32:49,111 and all the other kids laughed at you? 681 00:32:50,286 --> 00:32:52,679 All the other kids laughed at me today, Raymond. 682 00:33:06,430 --> 00:33:08,388 Sometimes... 683 00:33:08,519 --> 00:33:11,826 when the other boys at school laugh at me... 684 00:33:11,957 --> 00:33:14,263 Mother says I should make friends with them. 685 00:33:14,394 --> 00:33:17,657 She says there are good ships 686 00:33:17,788 --> 00:33:19,441 and wood ships 687 00:33:19,572 --> 00:33:21,922 and ships that sail the sea, 688 00:33:22,053 --> 00:33:25,273 but the best ships are friendships. 689 00:33:51,122 --> 00:33:53,515 Linda, would you put in a call 690 00:33:53,646 --> 00:33:56,736 to, uh, ah, Harry Welch at the FAA? 691 00:33:56,823 --> 00:33:58,520 Have him send us any information 692 00:33:58,651 --> 00:34:01,522 he has on a registered flight attendant, Maureen Kane. 693 00:34:01,653 --> 00:34:03,373 Oh, and, uh, Liddy should be here any minute 694 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,110 - for the meeting. - Uh, Liddy's already here. 695 00:34:05,134 --> 00:34:06,788 He arrived over a half hour ago. 696 00:34:06,875 --> 00:34:08,660 He's already here? Where is he? 697 00:34:08,747 --> 00:34:10,182 Mitchell's office. 698 00:34:10,312 --> 00:34:11,705 - Jesus. - You want me to go... 699 00:34:11,836 --> 00:34:13,402 I'm so sorry. 700 00:34:13,533 --> 00:34:14,708 Are they in there? 701 00:34:17,755 --> 00:34:19,277 Speak of the devil, and he doth appear. 702 00:34:19,364 --> 00:34:20,365 What's the matter, Dean? 703 00:34:20,495 --> 00:34:21,888 You look like you just got caught 704 00:34:22,019 --> 00:34:23,281 butt-fucking your sister. 705 00:34:23,411 --> 00:34:24,717 I don't have a-a sister, sir. 706 00:34:24,804 --> 00:34:26,458 Um... 707 00:34:26,589 --> 00:34:28,590 are we celebrating something? 708 00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:30,983 Wow, sharp as a tack. Tell him, Liddy. 709 00:34:31,070 --> 00:34:32,637 I ran into Mr. Mitchell this morning 710 00:34:32,768 --> 00:34:34,944 on the way into the office, and- 711 00:34:35,074 --> 00:34:37,510 I had a few rough ideas for pared-down operations... 712 00:34:37,641 --> 00:34:39,208 Sketches really. 713 00:34:39,338 --> 00:34:40,557 Ah, don't beat yourself up. 714 00:34:40,688 --> 00:34:42,124 We made some adjustments. 715 00:34:42,254 --> 00:34:43,952 It was all you, Mr. Mitchell. 716 00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:47,084 He helped me come up with a whole new operation plan. 717 00:34:47,171 --> 00:34:49,870 This man truly knows his tradecraft. 718 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:54,264 Sir, are you sure it's wise to be, um... 719 00:34:54,395 --> 00:34:58,268 casually discussing illicit activities in your office? 720 00:34:58,355 --> 00:35:00,619 Teacher's here. Fun's over. 721 00:35:00,749 --> 00:35:01,793 Well, no. 722 00:35:03,142 --> 00:35:06,406 Gordo, fabulous work. 723 00:35:06,536 --> 00:35:08,756 Just, uh, talk to Jeb. 724 00:35:08,843 --> 00:35:10,670 He'll take care of the logistics with you. 725 00:35:10,801 --> 00:35:13,107 Thank you, sir. 726 00:35:13,194 --> 00:35:15,980 Well, whatever you told that chowderhead 727 00:35:16,110 --> 00:35:20,070 to get him to drop the James Bond act, it worked. 728 00:35:20,157 --> 00:35:23,421 Well, I just, uh, showed him how to be a team player, sir. 729 00:35:23,551 --> 00:35:26,685 Hmm. Tell you what... 730 00:35:26,772 --> 00:35:28,643 my wife is doing a campaign fundraiser 731 00:35:28,773 --> 00:35:30,645 at our house Saturday. 732 00:35:30,775 --> 00:35:32,690 Why don't you come by? 733 00:35:32,777 --> 00:35:34,997 You know? For all your hard work. 734 00:35:35,084 --> 00:35:36,650 I'd be honored, sir. 735 00:35:36,780 --> 00:35:38,739 And bring a date... Something nice on the eyes. 736 00:35:38,869 --> 00:35:40,305 Right. Okay. 737 00:35:54,274 --> 00:35:56,145 What the hell? 738 00:35:56,276 --> 00:35:58,452 Go, go, go. 739 00:35:58,582 --> 00:36:00,933 Mo. Hey. I can't believe it. 740 00:36:01,063 --> 00:36:02,605 I was just about to check in for my flight. 741 00:36:02,629 --> 00:36:04,041 And I was thinking, what are the odds 742 00:36:04,065 --> 00:36:05,465 I'd run into Mo Kane at the airport? 743 00:36:05,588 --> 00:36:07,242 And here you are. That is crazy. 744 00:36:07,373 --> 00:36:09,418 Huh, how did you find me? 745 00:36:09,549 --> 00:36:11,898 Well, I just... I saw you coming up the thing. 746 00:36:12,029 --> 00:36:14,118 - Where's your ticket? - Excuse me? 747 00:36:14,248 --> 00:36:15,617 You said you were checking in for your flight. 748 00:36:15,641 --> 00:36:16,990 You should have a ticket. 749 00:36:17,121 --> 00:36:18,862 Oh, right, ticket, um... 750 00:36:18,992 --> 00:36:20,427 That is a very good... 751 00:36:20,558 --> 00:36:22,778 Oh, you know, shoot, I must have thrown it 752 00:36:22,865 --> 00:36:24,388 in the trash with my food there. 753 00:36:24,475 --> 00:36:26,129 Um, I have to get a new one now. 754 00:36:26,259 --> 00:36:27,367 Do you know the lady? Maybe you can... 755 00:36:27,391 --> 00:36:28,522 You little psychopath. 756 00:36:28,653 --> 00:36:29,871 What? 757 00:36:30,001 --> 00:36:31,786 Did you call the FAA? 758 00:36:31,916 --> 00:36:33,483 Call the... 759 00:36:33,613 --> 00:36:36,094 No. What? No. 760 00:36:36,181 --> 00:36:37,921 Why would I... Why would I do that? 761 00:36:38,052 --> 00:36:39,357 To find out my flight schedule 762 00:36:39,488 --> 00:36:41,882 so you could manufacture a way to bump into me 763 00:36:42,012 --> 00:36:43,468 in the futile hope you could apologize your way 764 00:36:43,492 --> 00:36:44,711 into a second date. 765 00:36:48,017 --> 00:36:50,237 Has this... has this happened to you before? 766 00:36:50,367 --> 00:36:52,456 It's a pilot trick. 767 00:36:52,587 --> 00:36:54,907 I have to say, it's never felt quite so pathetic until now. 768 00:36:56,808 --> 00:36:58,200 Mo. Wait, please. 769 00:36:58,331 --> 00:36:59,506 - John. - Please. 770 00:36:59,636 --> 00:37:01,160 You seem very nice. 771 00:37:01,247 --> 00:37:04,249 Do you know what it is? I am looking for a man. 772 00:37:04,379 --> 00:37:06,991 And I can't waste my time with little boys anymore. 773 00:37:07,121 --> 00:37:08,403 I know I was an asshole the other night. 774 00:37:08,427 --> 00:37:09,621 - Mm-hmm. - But, I want to make it up to you. 775 00:37:09,645 --> 00:37:11,125 There's this fundraiser next weekend, 776 00:37:11,256 --> 00:37:13,233 and everyone who's anyone in D.C. is gonna be there. 777 00:37:13,257 --> 00:37:15,694 You want to take me to a Republican fundraiser? 778 00:37:15,825 --> 00:37:17,565 It'll be great material for your novel. 779 00:37:17,696 --> 00:37:19,282 And besides, we don't have to talk to anybody. 780 00:37:19,306 --> 00:37:21,264 We can just sit in the corner all night, 781 00:37:21,394 --> 00:37:23,590 drinking John Mitchell's scotch, making fun of people... 782 00:37:23,614 --> 00:37:26,835 Um, John Mitchell? Martha Mitchell's husband? 783 00:37:26,965 --> 00:37:28,314 Yeah. Why? You... you like her? 784 00:37:28,445 --> 00:37:29,924 She's completely insane. 785 00:37:30,054 --> 00:37:32,448 I love her. 786 00:37:32,578 --> 00:37:35,930 So you will go with me? 787 00:37:36,060 --> 00:37:39,933 Um, I'm gonna think about it. 788 00:37:40,020 --> 00:37:42,283 I'm gonna see when the airline has me back in D.C... 789 00:37:42,413 --> 00:37:44,589 Thursday. I-I mean... 790 00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:47,027 I hope they have you back on-on Thursday 791 00:37:47,156 --> 00:37:49,768 because that would be, uh... that would be perfect timing. 792 00:37:49,898 --> 00:37:51,900 Holy shit, man. 793 00:37:55,338 --> 00:37:57,557 - Do you have my number? - Leave it with the FAA. 794 00:38:17,270 --> 00:38:19,229 - Ahoy! - Oh! Ha ha! 795 00:38:19,359 --> 00:38:21,448 What the... 796 00:38:21,579 --> 00:38:23,406 Mitchell sent me down to inform you 797 00:38:23,536 --> 00:38:25,800 he's approved of my plans. 798 00:38:25,930 --> 00:38:27,932 Now, before you fill your diaper, 799 00:38:28,063 --> 00:38:30,543 you'll be relieved to know that I've trimmed the budget 800 00:38:30,673 --> 00:38:33,023 to a manageable quarter million. 801 00:38:33,154 --> 00:38:34,392 Hey, well, that's fantastic news. 802 00:38:34,416 --> 00:38:35,416 That's great. 803 00:38:35,460 --> 00:38:38,942 Uh, only problem is, um... 804 00:38:40,247 --> 00:38:42,597 Mitchell doesn't control the purse strings around here. 805 00:38:42,727 --> 00:38:44,338 I do. 806 00:38:44,468 --> 00:38:47,167 So you're gonna have to make do with $200,000. 807 00:38:47,297 --> 00:38:49,690 That's... that's all we got. 808 00:38:49,821 --> 00:38:52,214 Do you think this is a joke? 809 00:38:52,301 --> 00:38:53,563 No. 810 00:38:53,694 --> 00:38:56,740 This operation requires 811 00:38:56,870 --> 00:38:59,351 untraceable foreign contractors. 812 00:38:59,481 --> 00:39:01,744 I need at least five Cubans. 813 00:39:01,875 --> 00:39:05,486 Cubans? Well, I mean, how-how expensive are Cubans these days? 814 00:39:05,617 --> 00:39:08,794 Why-just get cheaper Cubans. What? Puerto Ricans? 815 00:39:11,753 --> 00:39:13,364 Hmm. 816 00:39:15,147 --> 00:39:17,628 You've never tasted your own blood. 817 00:39:17,758 --> 00:39:19,717 - Pardon me? - You haven't. Ah... 818 00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:23,154 I can tell. 819 00:39:23,285 --> 00:39:25,417 You know that? 820 00:39:25,548 --> 00:39:28,551 You don't know the first thing about passion, 821 00:39:28,681 --> 00:39:31,206 about el sangre de libertad. 822 00:39:31,336 --> 00:39:33,903 But you know who does? 823 00:39:34,034 --> 00:39:37,820 Those magnificent men you just maligned. 824 00:39:37,951 --> 00:39:38,734 - Yeah. - They know. 825 00:39:38,821 --> 00:39:39,996 God, I got to tell you, 826 00:39:40,127 --> 00:39:42,128 I-I don't appreciate your tone, Gordo. 827 00:39:42,258 --> 00:39:43,258 No. 828 00:39:45,522 --> 00:39:49,047 They are freedom fighters, you fuck! 829 00:39:49,134 --> 00:39:50,875 Please let go of me, you psychopath. 830 00:39:50,962 --> 00:39:55,053 You prep-school sissies think that you own the world... 831 00:39:55,183 --> 00:39:57,098 but you don't. 832 00:39:57,185 --> 00:40:00,057 The natural world rejects you. 833 00:40:00,187 --> 00:40:02,581 You taste your blood now, don't you? 834 00:40:19,378 --> 00:40:21,554 Bean-counting Ivy League fag. 835 00:40:25,818 --> 00:40:26,863 Rough day? 836 00:40:29,039 --> 00:40:31,999 Never thought I'd encounter a bureaucracy 837 00:40:32,129 --> 00:40:34,565 more stocked with vipers than the FBI. 838 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,047 A thousand petty tyrannies. 839 00:40:40,441 --> 00:40:41,789 You're a Bureau man? 840 00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,313 Five years strong. You? 841 00:40:44,444 --> 00:40:46,272 CIA. 842 00:40:46,402 --> 00:40:48,927 I've always admired Hoover. 843 00:40:49,057 --> 00:40:51,450 They don't make them like him anymore. 844 00:40:51,537 --> 00:40:52,799 I agree. 845 00:40:55,149 --> 00:40:57,630 Jim McCord. 846 00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:00,066 Liddy, General Counsel. 847 00:41:00,153 --> 00:41:02,286 Liddy... 848 00:41:02,416 --> 00:41:04,984 fella who burnt himself with a candle, right? 849 00:41:10,249 --> 00:41:12,469 Gaius Scaevola would be proud. 850 00:41:13,861 --> 00:41:15,341 Hero of Rome. 851 00:41:16,646 --> 00:41:18,517 Soldier. 852 00:41:18,648 --> 00:41:20,345 Soldier. 853 00:41:32,748 --> 00:41:35,097 Oh, hi. 854 00:41:35,184 --> 00:41:37,099 Great shirt. 855 00:41:37,230 --> 00:41:39,145 Mo, he's here. 856 00:41:39,275 --> 00:41:40,668 Smells good in there. 857 00:41:40,798 --> 00:41:43,670 I, uh, smoked a little grass myself, back in college. 858 00:41:47,021 --> 00:41:48,240 Hi. 859 00:41:50,198 --> 00:41:52,069 Wow. You... 860 00:41:52,199 --> 00:41:53,635 You look... 861 00:41:53,766 --> 00:41:56,029 Thank you. Anything for Martha Mitchell. 862 00:42:07,692 --> 00:42:08,692 All right. 863 00:42:10,911 --> 00:42:12,696 Welcome, sir, ma'am. 864 00:42:14,219 --> 00:42:15,259 - For you. - Oh, thank you. 865 00:42:15,307 --> 00:42:16,352 Cheers. 866 00:42:16,482 --> 00:42:17,482 - Oh, hi. Hey. - John. 867 00:42:17,526 --> 00:42:19,745 - How's it going? - Hello. Hi. 868 00:42:19,832 --> 00:42:21,791 You have blood on your hands. 869 00:42:21,921 --> 00:42:22,986 Look who it is. See? Want to go say hi? 870 00:42:23,010 --> 00:42:25,795 Oh, my God. Yes, I want to say hi. 871 00:42:25,881 --> 00:42:27,665 - She looks amazing. - So gorgeous. 872 00:42:27,796 --> 00:42:29,580 I want to get a picture. 873 00:42:29,711 --> 00:42:31,408 Aw. 874 00:42:31,539 --> 00:42:32,757 Excuse me, Mrs. Mitchell. 875 00:42:32,888 --> 00:42:34,257 Uh, my name is John Dean. I work with your husband. 876 00:42:34,281 --> 00:42:35,803 Oh, Mr. Dean. 877 00:42:35,890 --> 00:42:37,520 Yes, my husband speaks very highly of you. 878 00:42:37,544 --> 00:42:39,111 Say hello to Mr. Dean, buttercup. 879 00:42:39,198 --> 00:42:40,808 - Hi. - Hello. 880 00:42:40,895 --> 00:42:43,679 Hmm. We're working on her volume. 881 00:42:43,766 --> 00:42:45,377 Who is this vision in blue? 882 00:42:45,507 --> 00:42:47,857 Maureen Kane. It's an honor to... 883 00:42:47,988 --> 00:42:49,207 I'm j-I'm a huge fan. 884 00:42:49,337 --> 00:42:50,904 Thank you. 885 00:42:51,035 --> 00:42:53,384 May I say the two of you make a striking couple. 886 00:42:53,514 --> 00:42:54,950 Oh, we're not really... 887 00:42:55,081 --> 00:42:56,189 That's so sweet of you. Thank you so much. 888 00:42:56,213 --> 00:42:57,214 Thank you. Thank you. 889 00:42:57,344 --> 00:42:59,172 All right, Mrs. Mitchell, right over here. 890 00:42:59,303 --> 00:43:01,565 Oh. Picture? 891 00:43:01,695 --> 00:43:04,350 Are we getting in? Oh, my... 892 00:43:04,481 --> 00:43:05,482 Thank you. 893 00:43:05,612 --> 00:43:06,700 Mm-hmm. 894 00:43:06,831 --> 00:43:08,441 Enjoy yourselves. Nice to meet you. 895 00:43:08,572 --> 00:43:10,529 - So nice to meet you. - Thank you. 896 00:43:12,749 --> 00:43:14,925 - Hmm? - Hmm. 897 00:43:19,929 --> 00:43:21,409 Okay, who are they, the buzz cuts? 898 00:43:21,539 --> 00:43:23,106 Oh, that? 899 00:43:23,237 --> 00:43:24,890 Uh, that's the president's chief of staff. 900 00:43:25,021 --> 00:43:26,101 On the right, Bob Haldeman. 901 00:43:26,153 --> 00:43:27,892 Okay. 902 00:43:28,023 --> 00:43:29,329 On the left is John Ehrlichman. 903 00:43:29,459 --> 00:43:31,089 And nobody gets to Nixon except through them. 904 00:43:31,113 --> 00:43:32,353 They call them the Berlin Wall. 905 00:43:32,462 --> 00:43:33,637 Hmm. 906 00:43:33,768 --> 00:43:35,769 - The Berlin Wall, huh? - Mm. 907 00:43:35,856 --> 00:43:38,859 Hmm. Hmm. 908 00:43:38,989 --> 00:43:40,643 Wait, where you going? 909 00:43:40,730 --> 00:43:44,211 Mo. No. Mo. Mo. Mo, Mo. 910 00:43:44,298 --> 00:43:47,084 Now McGovern's got James Taylor and Barbra Streisand 911 00:43:47,171 --> 00:43:48,563 stumping for him, 912 00:43:48,650 --> 00:43:50,174 as if the voters are going to be swayed 913 00:43:50,304 --> 00:43:52,524 by a couple of moderately fuckable socialists. 914 00:43:54,699 --> 00:43:57,049 I'm a big Streisand fan. What's wrong with her? 915 00:43:57,180 --> 00:43:59,617 - Excuse me? - Uh... 916 00:43:59,704 --> 00:44:01,705 sorry, you-you are? 917 00:44:01,792 --> 00:44:03,794 I'm Mo Kane. I think you know my date. 918 00:44:06,275 --> 00:44:08,103 John Dean, sir. 919 00:44:08,190 --> 00:44:10,495 I got a haircut. 920 00:44:10,626 --> 00:44:13,107 Yes, that's it. Right. 921 00:44:13,237 --> 00:44:14,757 My apologies if John caused any offense 922 00:44:14,847 --> 00:44:16,371 with the Streisand thing, ma'am. 923 00:44:16,501 --> 00:44:19,329 Oh, God. Hey, as a-a member in good standing 924 00:44:19,460 --> 00:44:21,375 of the league of moderately fuckable socialists, 925 00:44:21,505 --> 00:44:23,203 I accept your apology. 926 00:44:23,290 --> 00:44:24,900 Where did you find this one, Dean? 927 00:44:25,030 --> 00:44:28,468 She's a live one. 928 00:44:28,598 --> 00:44:31,471 Uh, by the way, Bob, I've been meaning to, uh, thank you 929 00:44:31,601 --> 00:44:34,561 for conveying that message from POTUS on my behalf. 930 00:44:34,691 --> 00:44:36,953 Mitchell told me about the, uh, president's request 931 00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:39,236 that I come help with the election compliance operations 932 00:44:39,260 --> 00:44:40,827 over at CREEP. 933 00:44:40,957 --> 00:44:42,655 Oh, uh, I'm... I'm sorry. 934 00:44:42,785 --> 00:44:44,546 I've never spoken about you with the president 935 00:44:44,570 --> 00:44:47,311 or really anyone else for that matter. 936 00:44:47,441 --> 00:44:49,269 Word of advice... 937 00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,054 learn to recognize a snake when you see one. 938 00:44:52,185 --> 00:44:53,925 Hmm. 939 00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:06,110 Oh, God. John, this party is crazy. 940 00:45:06,241 --> 00:45:08,330 Ehrlichman is a fascist. 941 00:45:08,460 --> 00:45:11,593 He wants to nuke all of Asia. Everyone's so evil here. 942 00:45:11,723 --> 00:45:13,812 I'm having so much fun. What's wrong? 943 00:45:13,943 --> 00:45:15,312 - You okay? - It's nothing. We should go. 944 00:45:15,336 --> 00:45:16,336 No, we just got here. 945 00:45:16,380 --> 00:45:17,380 I'll get our coats. 946 00:45:17,468 --> 00:45:18,600 Oh, okay. 947 00:45:20,992 --> 00:45:22,907 Uh, sir, Kissinger's office just called. 948 00:45:23,038 --> 00:45:24,581 They've been trying to reach you for the past hour. 949 00:45:24,605 --> 00:45:25,997 In regards to what? 950 00:45:26,128 --> 00:45:27,738 Apparently your wife spoke out 951 00:45:27,869 --> 00:45:31,480 about some sort of feud he's having with the president. 952 00:45:31,611 --> 00:45:32,916 What the fuck? 953 00:45:33,047 --> 00:45:34,831 Martha. 954 00:45:36,746 --> 00:45:38,312 God as my witness, woman, 955 00:45:38,443 --> 00:45:40,314 I will cancel your Diners Club card 956 00:45:40,445 --> 00:45:43,187 if you don't open this door right now. 957 00:45:43,317 --> 00:45:44,710 What? What do you want? 958 00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:46,600 You want to berate me in front of our guests? 959 00:45:53,108 --> 00:45:54,762 Oh, fuck me! Jesus! 960 00:45:54,892 --> 00:45:56,546 Ah. 961 00:45:56,676 --> 00:45:58,417 I mean... 962 00:45:58,504 --> 00:46:00,071 Sorry. 963 00:46:03,466 --> 00:46:06,990 - Are you okay? - I hate this stupid dress. 964 00:46:07,077 --> 00:46:09,297 My mom had it made for me. 965 00:46:09,384 --> 00:46:11,864 I look like Little Bo Peep. 966 00:46:15,127 --> 00:46:17,434 You want a Doublemint? 967 00:46:17,521 --> 00:46:18,914 No, thanks. 968 00:46:24,614 --> 00:46:25,789 Cigarette? 969 00:46:27,878 --> 00:46:29,247 It's just an interview, for God's sake. 970 00:46:29,271 --> 00:46:31,011 It's not the end of the world. 971 00:46:31,141 --> 00:46:33,709 You had to mention Kissinger, like I need more enemies. 972 00:46:33,796 --> 00:46:35,581 "Martha Mitchell bares all." 973 00:46:35,711 --> 00:46:37,733 Is this some kind of retribution for the other night 974 00:46:37,757 --> 00:46:40,019 'cause I didn't just drop everything 975 00:46:40,149 --> 00:46:42,891 and whisk Martha off to some foreign land 976 00:46:43,022 --> 00:46:44,458 or wherever the fuck? 977 00:46:44,589 --> 00:46:46,765 Yeah. So you... you do know I have feelings. 978 00:46:46,895 --> 00:46:48,418 You just choose to ignore them. 979 00:46:48,548 --> 00:46:50,898 I see. I'm sure if he asked to go on vacation, 980 00:46:51,029 --> 00:46:52,726 you'd have your bags packed in one hour. 981 00:46:52,857 --> 00:46:54,075 He's my boss. 982 00:46:54,206 --> 00:46:56,076 He's your life. 983 00:46:56,163 --> 00:46:58,818 You roll over for him day and night. 984 00:46:58,949 --> 00:47:00,820 - My God. My God. - What is the draw, really? 985 00:47:00,907 --> 00:47:03,127 - Tell me. The subservience... - That's enough. 986 00:47:03,214 --> 00:47:05,476 Is it that he makes you feel like a big man, 987 00:47:05,607 --> 00:47:07,870 - makes you feel wanted? - That's enough, Martha. 988 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,089 I mean, your dick must look so big 989 00:47:10,220 --> 00:47:12,222 in his tiny hands. 990 00:47:19,010 --> 00:47:22,926 Look, let's just both take a breath. 991 00:47:25,799 --> 00:47:28,236 You take a fucking breath. 992 00:47:28,367 --> 00:47:30,586 My mama slaps me harder than that. 993 00:47:34,981 --> 00:47:36,852 You're a... you're a pig! 994 00:47:36,983 --> 00:47:38,724 All day... 995 00:47:42,814 --> 00:47:44,468 Nobody cares what you think! 996 00:47:48,166 --> 00:47:51,909 They used to like each other before we moved here. 997 00:47:51,996 --> 00:47:55,826 Now everything's just terrible. 998 00:47:55,956 --> 00:47:59,219 I hate parties. I hate all of these people. 999 00:47:59,350 --> 00:48:00,351 How old are you? 1000 00:48:00,482 --> 00:48:02,788 Eleven and a half. 1001 00:48:02,919 --> 00:48:05,747 What you need is an exit strategy. 1002 00:48:05,877 --> 00:48:08,184 You can petition for emancipation at 16. 1003 00:48:08,315 --> 00:48:10,665 Seems a little extreme. 1004 00:48:15,451 --> 00:48:16,451 And that isn't? 1005 00:48:18,715 --> 00:48:19,835 Do you have a business card? 1006 00:48:23,371 --> 00:48:26,548 I will represent you pro bono. 1007 00:48:26,635 --> 00:48:28,245 I'd get started now, 1008 00:48:28,376 --> 00:48:30,944 but, uh, I'm a little busy with the president. 1009 00:48:31,074 --> 00:48:33,206 My mom says Nixon's dogshit. 1010 00:48:35,991 --> 00:48:38,124 Honestly, I wouldn't know. 1011 00:48:38,254 --> 00:48:39,865 I've never even met the guy. 1012 00:48:46,392 --> 00:48:47,524 Bye. 1013 00:48:51,918 --> 00:48:54,530 - You ready? - Yeah. 1014 00:48:58,707 --> 00:49:02,450 The election is in eight fucking months, Martha. 1015 00:49:02,580 --> 00:49:06,757 You can just keep your mouth shut for eight months, 1016 00:49:06,888 --> 00:49:08,629 we'll be fine. 1017 00:49:08,716 --> 00:49:11,327 Get another wife if you want a silent one 1018 00:49:11,458 --> 00:49:13,895 or marry that portrait I had made for you, 1019 00:49:14,025 --> 00:49:16,113 which you never thanked me for, by the way. 1020 00:49:19,508 --> 00:49:21,423 You want to know the truth, Martha? 1021 00:49:23,860 --> 00:49:25,861 There's no conspiracy against you. 1022 00:49:25,992 --> 00:49:30,213 There's no collusion hiding in the shadows. 1023 00:49:30,344 --> 00:49:34,913 People just don't like you. 1024 00:49:35,043 --> 00:49:38,264 That's why we can't fly on Air Force One. 1025 00:49:38,395 --> 00:49:39,787 Oh, and those journalists 1026 00:49:39,918 --> 00:49:41,701 that you call in the middle of night... 1027 00:49:41,832 --> 00:49:43,050 They're not your friends. 1028 00:49:45,749 --> 00:49:48,969 They just can't take their eyes off a good show. 1029 00:50:21,476 --> 00:50:23,478 Bob Haldeman sees my name on six memos a day. 1030 00:50:23,565 --> 00:50:26,567 Has no fucking idea who I am. 1031 00:50:26,698 --> 00:50:28,961 Oh, important people are only as important 1032 00:50:29,091 --> 00:50:30,832 as the rest of us make them. 1033 00:50:30,963 --> 00:50:33,356 Just don't give them that power. 1034 00:50:37,708 --> 00:50:39,318 You're very wise. 1035 00:50:39,405 --> 00:50:41,189 You sound surprised. 1036 00:50:42,886 --> 00:50:46,063 These fucking people. 1037 00:50:46,193 --> 00:50:48,353 I think it's a good thing you're not like those people. 1038 00:50:48,413 --> 00:50:50,937 You're better than them. 1039 00:50:51,067 --> 00:50:53,330 - You barely know me. - That is true. 1040 00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:58,553 But I do know you well enough to know 1041 00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,163 that you're a good person deep down, 1042 00:51:01,293 --> 00:51:02,817 even when no one's watching. 1043 00:51:05,341 --> 00:51:08,126 But then I also know that you used the FAA 1044 00:51:08,257 --> 00:51:12,129 to find out my flight schedule, which is a huge red flag, 1045 00:51:12,216 --> 00:51:14,305 but it did show uncanny initiative. 1046 00:51:14,436 --> 00:51:16,264 Oh... 1047 00:51:16,394 --> 00:51:18,004 And I know your dirty secret. 1048 00:51:20,572 --> 00:51:23,139 In the moments when you shut up, 1049 00:51:23,226 --> 00:51:26,533 you actually know how to listen. 1050 00:51:26,664 --> 00:51:28,579 - Wait, I know how to shut up. - Stop talking. 1051 00:51:28,709 --> 00:51:30,450 - Wha... - Stop fucking talking. 1052 00:51:32,931 --> 00:51:34,193 I'm stopping. 1053 00:51:53,339 --> 00:51:55,603 Which one's your house? 1054 00:52:09,528 --> 00:52:11,573 Met a young couple tonight. 1055 00:52:11,704 --> 00:52:14,968 Reminded me of a long time ago... 1056 00:52:15,098 --> 00:52:18,840 being at the beginning of something. 1057 00:52:18,927 --> 00:52:20,886 I'm sorry, I didn't know anybody was out here. 1058 00:52:21,016 --> 00:52:22,016 That's quite all right. 1059 00:52:23,845 --> 00:52:25,285 Would you happen to have a cigarette? 1060 00:52:29,633 --> 00:52:30,938 Thank you. 1061 00:52:41,644 --> 00:52:45,647 I hope I'm not out of line here, Mrs. Mitchell, but... 1062 00:52:45,777 --> 00:52:47,605 I wanted to tell you that I read 1063 00:52:47,736 --> 00:52:50,565 your Ladies' Home Journal interview. 1064 00:52:50,695 --> 00:52:54,219 There aren't many honest people left in this town. 1065 00:52:54,350 --> 00:52:55,569 I believe you're one of them. 1066 00:52:59,660 --> 00:53:01,965 Well, thank you. 1067 00:53:02,096 --> 00:53:03,706 McCord, wasn't it? 1068 00:53:03,837 --> 00:53:06,361 Yes, ma'am, James McCord. 1069 00:53:06,448 --> 00:53:08,406 I appreciate you, James McCord. 1070 00:53:14,411 --> 00:53:15,978 Ma'am. 1071 00:53:27,293 --> 00:53:29,511 Mmm. 1072 00:53:29,642 --> 00:53:31,862 Mmm. 1073 00:53:35,561 --> 00:53:37,475 Mmm. 1074 00:53:37,562 --> 00:53:39,477 Fetch the sugar for me, would you, dear? 1075 00:54:01,932 --> 00:54:03,411 California? 1076 00:54:03,541 --> 00:54:05,326 We got a couple of fundraisers out there. 1077 00:54:05,413 --> 00:54:07,458 I thought it'd give you a chance 1078 00:54:07,589 --> 00:54:10,418 to try on that new swimsuit of yours. 1079 00:54:10,548 --> 00:54:13,638 The one with the cutouts? 1080 00:54:13,768 --> 00:54:16,379 I don't know if that's appropriate for a public beach. 1081 00:54:16,510 --> 00:54:18,555 Well... 1082 00:54:18,686 --> 00:54:21,688 maybe you and I could find 1083 00:54:21,819 --> 00:54:24,473 something a bit more... 1084 00:54:24,604 --> 00:54:25,910 secluded. 1085 00:54:31,871 --> 00:54:33,699 I want to go to boarding school. 1086 00:54:46,492 --> 00:54:47,711 You know, John, 1087 00:54:47,798 --> 00:54:49,318 whatever it is they're making you do... 1088 00:54:51,062 --> 00:54:52,585 you don't have to do it. 1089 00:54:54,326 --> 00:54:56,066 Just saying you always have a choice. 1090 00:55:26,224 --> 00:55:28,443 Oh, I'm sorry. Mr. Mitchell's out for the day. 1091 00:55:28,574 --> 00:55:30,227 Oh... 1092 00:55:30,357 --> 00:55:31,987 But you can leave that on his desk if you'd like. 1093 00:55:32,011 --> 00:55:34,927 Right. 1094 00:55:35,058 --> 00:55:36,581 Mr. Mitchell's office. 1095 00:56:14,179 --> 00:56:15,876 Mr. Dean, 1096 00:56:16,007 --> 00:56:18,661 uh, I can hold on to that if you want. 1097 00:56:18,749 --> 00:56:21,708 Give it to Mr. Mitchell personally when he comes in. 1098 00:56:21,839 --> 00:56:24,275 Don't worry about the letter. 1099 00:56:24,405 --> 00:56:27,495 It was a false alarm. 1100 00:56:27,626 --> 00:56:28,932 The names of great men 1101 00:56:29,062 --> 00:56:30,455 are etched in the halls of power... 1102 00:56:30,585 --> 00:56:32,108 I'll see myself out. 1103 00:56:32,238 --> 00:56:36,503 Napoleon, Alexander, Charlemagne. 1104 00:56:38,984 --> 00:56:42,160 But who will tell our stories when we're gone? 1105 00:56:42,291 --> 00:56:44,162 Who will sing our songs? 1106 00:56:47,775 --> 00:56:50,341 For not all men who change the world are remembered. 1107 00:56:52,300 --> 00:56:54,824 Most are lost like embers in a fire. 1108 00:56:57,217 --> 00:56:59,959 Some worship at the boot of power, 1109 00:57:00,089 --> 00:57:02,178 weak against the tide of human frailty. 1110 00:57:02,309 --> 00:57:04,920 I know your spot right there. 1111 00:57:05,051 --> 00:57:07,835 Others are born to be forgotten, 1112 00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:10,316 reaching for a greatness they can never fully grasp. 1113 00:57:19,846 --> 00:57:22,240 There she is, machos... 1114 00:57:22,370 --> 00:57:24,067 our destiny. 1115 00:57:24,154 --> 00:57:25,851 Qué es eso? 1116 00:57:25,982 --> 00:57:27,592 El Watergate. 1117 00:57:33,553 --> 00:57:37,079 But make no mistake... 1118 00:57:37,209 --> 00:57:39,559 a triumphant will is what binds us 1119 00:57:39,690 --> 00:57:42,083 to those creatures from the prehistoric sea. 1120 00:57:44,737 --> 00:57:48,959 And with it, we can alter the course of human history. 1121 00:58:27,993 --> 00:58:29,865 Ow!