- "Just then, everyone in the bar turned to look.
"'My God,' said someone, 'That's Beif.'
"'Who is Beif?' said the bartender.
'I am Beif,' said Beif."
- Oh man, this book is so terrible.
- So why are you forcing me to read it to you?
- Because they made an even more terrible movie out of it.
There's a special screening tonight for Better People
Who Have Actually Read The Book First.
- Oh, it's a BPWHARTBF screening.
- Yeah, for people like me,
who have actually read the book.
So keep reading it to me. [alarm blares]
Oh, you guys finally done fixing up my Man Buggy?
- Yeah, and it only took us three or four musical numbers.
- ♪ We put the tune in tune-up ♪
- All right, I got it.
- And you said if we did,
we could borrow it for the night, so...
- Give me them keys, big dog.
- Ah, ah, ah. Gotta check your work first.
Inspecting gloves, please.
- Here you are, sir. Pure white, size adult small.
- [laughs] Adult small?
- Just give me the gloves.
[yelps]
To the Man Garage! all: To the Man Garage!
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- She's looking hot. - Sure is.
We did everything you put on this list.
- We loaded it up with fresh solid state rocket darts.
- Charged up the force field batteries.
- Lubed the ejector seat springs.
- Really?
Looks like you guys crushed it.
all: Yes!
- What happened to the Man Smudge?
- What's a Man Smudge?
- The smudge of mud that looked like my face.
I went puddling in this very Man Buggy two years ago today,
and when I got home, I noticed a smudge of mud
on the back that looked exactly like a beautiful pencil sketch
of my face. Did-did you guys clean it off?
- Were we not supposed to clean it off?
- We can re-smudge on it.
- No! - Oh my--
- That Man Smudge was made in the image of me
and placed on the Man Buggy by the universe itself,
and now it's gone!
I was very specific about not cleaning off the Man Smudge!
- No, cut the blue wire! - 40 seconds!
- Blue? - No!
[all yelling]
- Oh, and B-T-dubs, when you get around
to cleaning up the Man Buggy, don't wipe off the Man Smudge.
- Why? - Do the blue one!
- Oh, and buy more of these vanilla wafers.
- Dude, we didn't hear that.
- We were disarming a thermo-plasmic detonator.
- And I guess no one bought more vanilla wafers either?
- No! - We were disarming a bomb!
- A thermo-plasmic detonator! - I'm sorry.
I cannot let you guys take the Man Buggy out tonight
if you cannot follow simple smudge-structions.
- Just 'cause we wiped off some gross smudge?
- [gasps] That smudge was beautiful.
- We were gonna roll up to the Club Soda valet in style.
- Heads were gonna snap. - Jaws were gonna drop.
- Yeah, and we worked out this really cool way
to toss our keys to the valet. Let's show him.
[dramatic music]
- Maybe some other night. - What--
- Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go finish reading "Winds of Beif."
- Come on, Ray. Don't be like this.
- [mutters indistinctly]
- Ray. - What do we do now?
- Well, you could just teleport us there.
- No! - That's not style!
- There's no rolling up!
We don't need keys to start Miles.
- What would I toss the valet? His shoes?
- So what are we gonna do?
- We're gonna do what Ray would do.
- Crush a whole box of vanilla wafers?
- Listen to "The Winds of Beif"?
- He'd just take the car.
- Schwoz? - Yes, I'm back.
- Oh, my God. - Don't do that!
- What are you doing in this tire, dude?
- I'm hiding from Ray so I don't have to keep reading
"Winds of Beif" to him.
- But we can't just take the car.
We don't have the keys.
- If only someone had an extra key.
- Yeah, that'd be great, but I don't think any of us have one.
- Okay, maybe I wasn't being clear.
- No, you were.
- Totally clear. - He's not smart.
- This is the extra key.
- Oh. [laughs]
Well, why didn't you say so, dude?
Come on.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Yeah, I'm feelin' Elon Musk-y ♪
♪ Ride from dawn until it's dusk-y ♪
♪ Rap the chap the top back, gonna cinch up ♪
♪ My prom's a little rusty ♪
♪ Gotta ride it like Nowak ♪
♪ With the throwback, but I know that ♪
♪ Everybody get a buggy boogie 'cause I buggy and I boogie ♪
♪ As I party all around the town ♪
- I'm not the valet.
- I'm sorry, sir.
You're too old to get into Club Soda.
- Age is just a made-up number. Like six.
- Well, I can't valet your scooter.
- That's your scooter now.
Her name's Cheryl. She's all yours.
- I don't want her!
- Bye! [cackles]
Yeah!
♪ ♪
[all laughing]
- Where to next?
- I hear Arson Boy's gonna have an afterparty.
- Ooh, that place is gonna be lit.
- That's a good point. It'd be dangerous.
[all speaking at once]
- Okay. Uh, our buggy, please. And make it snappy.
- where's your valet ticket? - Uh, we didn't get a ticket.
We just tossed our keys to the other valet.
- Shoutout tossed them to me. - And then you passed it to me.
- It was pretty cool. - It was cool.
- There is no other valet.
- Uh-- - Well, of course there is.
He was wearing a red vest.
- Red vest?
Ma'am, this is the Green Vest Valet Solutions.
As you can see, we only wear green vests.
- Then who did we toss the keys to?
- I'm Jeff!
- It all just kind of happened.
[overlapping chatter]
- Stop talking!
- ♪ Danger ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ ♪
♪ Danger! One, two, three, Force! ♪
[doorbell rings]
all: Emergency!
- That's just the doorbell.
- I know.
- "But the winds of Beif blew stronger than normally,
and the only one who could withstand them was Beif."
Jinkies, this is terrible.
[all speaking at once]
- Schwoz! Schwoz! You gotta help us, you--
are you reading to Ray in his sleep?
- Yeah, he told me I have to keep reading "Winds of Beif"
to him even if he's sleeping
so he can make it to the screening
for Better People Who Actually Read The Book First.
- Okay, but sleeping doesn't count as reading.
- Henry's mom? - Eh.
- "So Beif took his Beif-belt
and went to the king of the Beifdom."
- Schwoz, we need your help. - Bose's mom?
- "'I am going to the Beif party too,' said Beif."
- We lost the Man Buggy.
- Oh, no!
- What's up?
- "And that's how Beif saved the wind.
The end."
- Oh, thank God. Finally.
Now I can go to that special movie screening for
Better People Who Have Actually Read The Book First.
Now simply to go down to the Man Garage
and fire up the old Man Buggy.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
You can't go to the Man Garage.
- Oh, I think you'll find that I can.
I'm great at stairs.
Probably better than all of you.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
You should go to the movie with Miles.
He's dying to go with you.
- [chuckles]
I don't know if he is. - Oh, sure you are.
You want to go with Ray
and teleport him all the way to the movie theater.
- Oh, yeah! [laughs]
Great idea.
Let's bounce.
- Uh-buh-buh-buh-buh.
Have you read the book?
- [chuckles] Yeah.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Well, if you've read the book,
I'm sure you'll be able to tell me:
when Beif marries the Beif Queen,
what dish is served at the Beif wedding
in the Cave of the Beifs?
- Beef? - Sorry I ever doubted you.
- Let's go see some... both: Beif!
- Okay, so how are we gonna find this buggy?
- The Man Buggy is equipped with a very sensitive
and high-tech piece of equipment.
- Uh-huh. - It's called a phone.
If we call it, and we can keep the buggy thief
on the line long enough, we might be able
to trace the call and find their location.
- I love it. - Uh, better idea.
I'm gonna do what Captain Man would do--
go back down to Club Soda and find a couple witnesses,
zap a couple butts, till I find the Man Buggy.
- I love it.
- Oh, that's great, 'cause you're coming with.
- Wait, so you guys are just leaving?
- Uh, we're gonna go do something.
It's called being proactive. - I love it!
- So how long until this phone tracer is set up?
- It will be done in one down the tube.
both: Down the tube!
- It's done. Let's call it.
- I just hope whoever took the Man Buggy
is dumb enough to pick up.
[phone rings]
- Go for Jeff. - Hi, Jeff.
This is Shoutout from Danger Force.
How are you today?
- I'm great. I got Captain Man's car.
- Uh, actually, that's why I was calling.
I think there might have been a little mix-up with the valet.
- There sure was. And now I got the Man Buggy.
- Uh, we need you to bring it back.
- That's gonna be a big no from me, dog.
I'm about to pick up my buddy.
We're gonna drive around doing crimes.
- We just need them to stay on for like 30 more seconds.
- Can you count to 30, Jeff?
- Pfft. No. Nobody can.
I don't even think there are that many numbers.
Hold on, I'm at my friend's crib.
- Well, well, well. Nice ride.
- It can go like 29 miles per hour.
- That much?
- I know those voices. it's Jeff and The Toddler.
Ten more seconds and I can track them.
- What's your favorite song, Jeff?
And could you please sing it?
- Yeah, it's 'NSYNC, and "Bye, Bye, Bye."
- Ahh!
- [laughs] Dude!
You're the dumbest criminal in Swellview.
- Thank you.
- How'd you get Captain Man's car?
- Danger Force thought I was a valet
and just threw the keys at me.
- Oh, nice!
Hey, hey, let's go rob the Skinny Jimmy Jerky Factory.
- Yeah, great idea!
Could this night get any better?
Come on! Yeah!
- Ooh! Gumball.
- Split it? - Yeah!
[humming] Yeah!
- Dude, you are strong! - Yeah, I know.
[suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
both: You're Captain Man!
I'm Captain Man!
We're Captain Man!
- Yeah! - [laughing]
- Hey, you've reached the Jeff Buggy.
I'm too busy doing cool stuff in my car to answer.
Leave a message!
- Hey, Jeff. Shoutout again.
I noticed you haven't returned my other 15 voicemails.
No biggie. I just-- [alarm blares]
- We got him! - No, we didn't.
- We didn't get him!
But Bolt did zap everyone wearing a red vest.
- Not everyone. Most of them. How'd you guys do?
- Okay, so we found out who stole the Man Buggy.
It's Jeff Bilsky. - [gasps]
Who's Jeff Bilsky?
- He's the dumbest criminal in Swellview,
and we literally gave him the Man Buggy.
- So what are we waiting for? Let's roll on this idiot.
- We still don't know where he is.
- Thank you for joining us here
on KLVY's News After Dark.
Mary?
[machine whirring]
Good God, Mary. Wake up.
- [snorts]
- In local news,
a couple of jerkies robbed the jerky factory.
- That's right, Trent.
The meat thieves were described as a big sweaty
Captain Man and a shorter, less sweaty Captain Man.
[dramatic music]
- Yeah!
- That's great.
Now the Man Buggy's being used for crime.
- And everyone thinks it's Captain Man.
- Oy, it sure was a bad idea having you guys force me
to give you the keys to the Man Buggy.
- What? What are you guys doing back?
- Yeah, "The Winds of Beif" is a four-hour movie.
- Sure is.
And, you know, it feels even longer when there's a grown man
sitting next to you crying the whole time.
- I wasn't crying. - Yes, you were.
- But listen, there's a part in the movie--
it's also in the book, by the way--
where Beif, he lets his friend ride his sandworm.
And that's when "The Winds of Beif" really hit me.
I should have let you guys ride my sandworm.
- [gasps] You have a sandworm?
- No, I'm talking about my Man Buggy.
- Oh. - That's really nice.
- Emotional growth.
- I shouldn't have freaked out about the Man Smudge.
I'm really sorry.
- Did you just say the S-word? - I sure did.
- I don't think you've ever said "sorry" to us before.
- I've never said "sorry" to anyone before.
But I'm saying it to you guys now.
'Cause I'm sorry.
I was... [retches]
I was--I was--
I was wrong.
- I never thought this day would come.
- Me, neither, but "The Winds of Beif"
really moved something inside of me.
So what do you say we celebrate, huh?
all: Yeah! - All right!
- By driving to Club Soda in the Man Buggy right now?
all: No! No! No! No!
- Meet you guys down in the Man Garage.
Down the tube!
- Good luck, you guys. I'm going to Cuba.
- What? - Hey. Hey. Don't bail on us.
- Okay, maybe Ray won't notice. - He's gonna notice!
But maybe he won't get mad.
Maybe "The Winds of Beif" really changed his--
[rumbling] - Where is my Man Buggy?
- See ya. - Wait. Wait!
- Ow! - No, stop him!
- Ow! You're hurting my back!
- You do not take another man's Man Buggy without asking.
That is a sacred line, and you do not cross it!
- Dude, calm down.
- I just had four kids in here cleaning it!
- Okay, okay, okay, we're sorry.
- What are you sorry for?
- For taking the Man Buggy without permission.
- Oh, please, stop. - Stop what?
- Look, I know you guys love Schwoz,
but don't cover for him, 'cause I know
he's the one that took it.
He's the only one with that extra set of keys.
- No. It was us.
- Covering for your friend Schwoz.
Such a Beif thing to do.
Unfortunately, just like Beif,
Schwoz won't live long enough to appreciate
you guys trying to protect him.
- Well, where are you going?
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- To find my Man Buggy.
And to end Schwoz.
[scooter whirring] [horn toots]
Say your prayers, Schwoz!
- We've got to find that Man Buggy.
- God!
- Why? - Stop it!
- Sorry, dude, we tried to cover for you.
- Cover for me? You're the ones who lost it!
- That's not what Ray said. - It's okay. It's okay.
As long as we can find it and get it back,
we just might get you out of this one.
- You're right, but I cannot emphasis-ize this enough--
this is your fault.
- Mary.
- Guys, there's something on the news right now
that just might help Schwoz.
- I wasn't me!
- We're on the edge of our seats here
as Swellview police are in a standoff
with the Man Buggy down at Club Soda.
- Hey, you think they're talking about our Man Buggy?
- Yes, they're talking about our Man Buggy.
And can we please turn off the news and go get it?
- I have the remote. No need to waste a monitor.
Hey!
Oh!
[muttering angrily]
- Let's go down to Club Soda
and put The Toddler down for a nap.
- Yeah.
- I'll teleport us.
- Everybody, get on his back, and let's go attack.
- Wait, why does it have to be on my back?
- Uh, sweet rhyme. Now we gotta do it.
- But why? - Them's the rules.
No, those have never been-- all: Yeah!
- [yelling]
- I don't know how youse twos got those costumes
or that Man Buggy,
but it's time to give yourselves up.
- Never!
We've been eating Fizzy Rocks
and drinking Dead Bull Energy Drinks.
- We could go all night!
But for real, dude, it's way past my bedtime.
- Oh.
- Oh, my back! - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- You're not sorry! - I'm sorry!
- Ooh, you in trouble now! Danger Force is here.
- Good!
Let's welcome them to the party.
- Hey, welcome to the party. - No, no, no.
I meant let's blast a Man Missile at them.
- Oh.
♪ ♪
both: Yeah!
- Hey, you blew up our tank!
- Let's go get them.
[all yell] - They're coming right at us!
- Oh, watch this!
- Ooh! Try to get us now!
- My back!
- Great.
How are we supposed to get past the force field?
- Uh.
- [yells]
Hey.
I think that actually fixed my back.
Thanks!
- Well, you're welcome.
Does anyone else have back problems?
- We're good. I'm good. - I'm good. Thanks.
- Now that my back is good,
I think I'ma pop in there and say hello.
- I love it.
- Whoa.
Dude, were you here the whole time?
- Pretty tight squeeze.
Sure could use a little elbow room.
[both yell] - My nose!
- Who's punching who? - I can't tell.
- We gotta get in there and help my brother.
- Where is the safety button?
- The force field's down! - Let's get them!
- Wait. Hey, Jeff, Toddler. Buckle up.
- No! - Seatbelts are for losers!
- Suit yourselves.
♪ ♪
both: Whoa!
- Good job, bud. - Geez.
Schwoz did not mess around with those ejector seats.
- No, he did not.
- Hey!
You guys found the Man Buggy!
- Yes, we did.
- Uh, it turns out that The Toddler and Jeff
somehow broke into the Man's Nest garage and stole it.
- Yeah. Mm. - I knew it was them.
Where are they? both: Ahh!
- There they are.
- Congratulations. Good job.
Whoa. Whoa. I don't know who to cuff.
I mean, which one's the real Captain Man?
- Seriously? - I am.
- Nope, I am. - They all say they are.
There's no way we're gonna be able to tell them apart.
- Only one of us is wearing pants.
- Everyone knows just real Captain Man never wears pants.
- That is true. - Oh, my God! No, it's not!
- There's an easy way to find out.
- Yeah, you can look at us.
Only one of us is young
and beautiful and indestructible and young.
- Uh, I don't know about young, but definitely indestructible.
[both yelling]
- I'm okay.
- Arrest the two on the ground.
- Sorry about that. Are you okay?
- Yeah, ego's a little bruised,
but you guys got the Man Buggy back, so it's all good.
Whoa! Look!
The smudge that looks like me is back!
- What? - Incredible.
- Eh...
- It looks like more like Schwoz.
- No, it doesn't. It looks like me.
- Uh. Looks like Jeff.
- Nah, it kind of looks like Beif to me.
- Beif is a fictional character!
- You haven't read the book. You can't talk about Beif.
[all speaking at once]
- So it's settled.
We can all agree who the smudge looks like?
- Yep. - No doubt about it.
- Couldn't be more clear.
- Dead ringer. - Great.
Feels good to know we all agree.
- Oh, Trent and Mary are doing the morning news.
- Our top story this morning--
dozens of people wearing red vests
have reported being inexplicably zapped yesterday.
- That wasn't me.
- Our second top story is a crying man
who ruined a special screening of "Winds of Beif"
with his loud and incessant sobbing.
- Incessant sobbing?
- Well, forgive me for having feelings.
- It is, like, the dumbest movie!
And you cried?
[all speaking at once]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪
♪ The second I see trouble I know I'll be fine ♪
♪ I'm okay ♪
♪ I'm okay! ♪
♪ Danger ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ ♪
♪ Danger! One, two, three, Force! ♪