[ music ]
ANNOUNCER: You're watching the Quibble channel!
We'll be back with more
Dog Judge: Traffic Court! Woooof!
COMMERCIAL VOICE: It's a new season at Fred Lobster...
- Toss me the remote I wanna fast-forward
through the commercials. - I got it.
I'm better at fast-forwarding than you are.
- False. - I'm the GOAT of the remote.
- You go too slow. - You go too fast.
- But you can't fast-forward too fast, that doesn't make sense.
- You always end up "b'doop"-ing
and then deleting whatever we're watching.
- I do not b'doop it!
- Ya' gotta go nice and easy, that's The Way of the Miles.
- In these unprecedented times
Fred Lobster is servin' up shrimp and an apology.
- "The Way of the Miles" didn't even make it through
a single commercial.
- The Fred Lobster apology commercial
is like three minutes long.
- Fred's words were taken out of context.
Fred was quoting someone else.
- [ scoffs ] The Way of the Miles...
- Too fast...
- This is the Mika Method. - Too fast I say!
Awwww, ya b'dooped it!
- What the? - Ya b'dooped.
Just like I said you would!
And now Dog Judge is deleted.
- Well I didn't meant to. - Oh well ya did.
Doesn't mean you didn't mean to do it.
[ Mika and Miles argue ]
[ Herman cries ]
- Mah horse wah wah wah mah saddle.
- Mom! Dad's crying and we can't understand him again!
- Yeah he's been crying all day. - Why?
- He went horseback riding this morning
and then somebody stole his saddle.
- Aww, dad, what happened?
- I went wide-ing wih muh 'uh-eez an-an
I opped ooo et um illy...
- [ Interpreting ] He went riding with his buddies
and then they stopped to get some chili...
- An um-un ole muh aaaaadddlllle!!!
- And someone stole his saddle.
- Eye uhved at addle! Ih ost ee ix ousand ollars.
- He loved that saddle. It cost him six thousand dol--
SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS?!
- Hey. - Mom, mom.
- Dad. You listen to me.
I am going to find whoever stole your six-thousand dollar saddle.
- Ow oo unna oo 'at?
- Yeah, how are you gonna do that?
- With effort. I will not rest until I find it.
- Actually, I'm gonna find that saddle.
And I'm going to rest the whole time.
- Oh what are you gonna do? Just sit there and
"let the universe bring the saddle to you?"
- What are you gonna do? Go too fast and delete the saddle?
- That doesn't make sense!
- It does if you don't think about it.
- Since when does not thinking solve anything?!
- How about you stick around and find out.
- Oh, you wanna go.
[ Mika and Miles argue ]
- Stop it! Stop!
You're upsetting Big Herm!
Honey? Why don't you go take a bath?
- Eye oan't 'anna ake uh 'ath!
- Not in the close bathtub. The nice one.
[ everyone gasps ]
- Can I just get in there first?
- No! - He said, "No."
- But your sad baths in the nice tub last for days!
- En oo etter urry up and ind eye 'addle!
- Then you better hurry up and find his saddle.
- I will. - Actually, I will.
- Ohhh! - Guess what one of you better
because I wanna use the nice one.
- I'm gonna find that sad--
MRS. OFFSKRIN: Is everything okay over there?
I heard crying.
- We're fine Mrs. Offskrin.
MRS. OFFSKRIN: Okay I'll go back to watching Dog Judge then.
- Wish I could go back to watching Dog Judge.
MRS. OFFSKRIN: What happened? Did Mika b'doop it?
MRS. OFFSKRIN: She b'dooped it, didn't she?
MRS. OFFSKRIN: I'm gonna take your silence to mean
that she did indeed--
[ Miles laughs ]
- Get out of my room.
[ music ]
- so then I got security camera footage from
the trailhead parking lot, I got everyone's license plate,
then I hacked into the DMV to find out where they live.
Tonight I'm gonna sneak over to their houses
and find who stole my dad's saddle.
- I was just looking for my donut.
- Oh. It's in your hand.
The other one.
- Oh!
It's always in the last hand I look at.
Good luck finding that boat!
RAY: I will wear these for the rest of my life if have to!
- 'Sup, fams!
- Sup. - What's up big dog.
- What's up with Ray?
- Uh, I'm on a laundry strike so he's in his bedroom
wearing a pink sweatsuit one of his ex-girlfriends left behind.
RAY: Yeah, I look amazing!
- He's gonna pout until I agree to wash clothes again.
- So that's why all these laundry bags are in here.
- I thought they were just super-dope beanbags.
- Still can be.
- If Ray thinks I'm doing laundry on Coyote Weekend he can --
[ mutters in his native language ]
- Speaking of that, Schwoz did you know
that Chapa has never seen any of the Jacob's Coyote movies?
- Noooo!
- [ imitating Schwoz ] Yaaaaeees!
- Oh, then we have to watch them all together!
- That's why I set up this old-timey TV!
- But we gotta watch 'em in the correct order.
[ Bose and Miles in unison ] - Start with seven. Then two.
Then Jacob's Coyote Five: Coyote Drift.
Seven again, The Coyote Cut.
The deleted scenes of Eight--
- Can we just start the movies.
- Can you guys do me a favor and watch somewhere else?
I'm trying to find out who stole my dad's saddle.
- Whoa, first your boat and now your saddle?
Tough week, Mika.
- Actually I'm gonna find it first.
- You're not even trying.
- Exactly -- that's The Way of the Miles.
- Can. We. Please.
Start watching the Jacob's Coyote movies?
- Yah, quick before an emergency call comes in
and you all have to leave. - That's terrible.
- That would be awful.
- Wait, your dad's saddle got stolen...
- That's right. - And I wanna watch
all the Jacob's Coyote movies on an old-timey TV...
- Best way to watch 'em. - That's right.
- But I won't be able to if we have to go out
and fight crime every five minutes.
- That's right.
- Mika! - Not interested.
- How about a little competition with your brother?
- Already in one.
- How about a bigger competition?
- I'm listening.
- You think your way of catching crims is better, right?
- Mika Method -- hard work pays off.
- And you think your way beats Mika's.
- The Way of the Miles -- I let the criminals come to me.
- Then prove it. Have a contest and see
whose system of catching crims is better.
- Yes! I'm in! When do we start?
Now? Do we start now? Can we start now?
How about now? Or now?
Can someone please answer so I can stop asking questions?!
- You in?
- [ groans ] Fine.
But only to teach Mika a lesson about--
- Already competing!
- You look for your dad's saddle,
we'll count the number of criminals
y'all catch along the way.
Whoever catches the most crims
by the time Coyote Weekend is over...
gets to live.
- Awesome. - Ah, very smart.
- I like that idea.
- How about the winner gets to take a Victory Bath
in the nice tub after our dad finally gets out?
- Ooooh -- that's better!
- For me -- 'cuz I'm gonna win. - Eh.
- I still like my stakes better but--
[ a coyote howls ]
- Jacob's Coyote is starting!
- Yes! It's on!
RAY: Y-y-you guys watching Jacob's Coyote without me?!
[ Schwoz, Chapa, Miles and Bose in unison] - Yes!
RAY: C-c-could someone set up an elaborate series of mirrors
so I can watch while I'm pouting?!
[ Schwoz, Chapa, Miles and Bose in unison] - No!
- It all just kinda happened.
[ kids all talking at once ]
- Stop talking!
♪ Danger
♪ Whoaaa-oooh
♪ Ooooh-ooooh
♪ Danger!
♪ One two three Force!
[ kids in unison ] - Emergency!
- That's just the doorbell. - I know.
[ music ]
ANNOUNCER: We now return to Jacob's Coyote:
Howl to the Chief.
JACOB'S FATHER: Jacob, you gotta talk to your coyote.
I mean, heck, he's the president now.
- Mm. Good dialogue. - Right?
JACOB: That coyote is more of a father to me
than you'll ever be.
JACOB'S FATHER: What makes you so sure he's not your father?
- What the..? - Don't ruin this.
JACOB'S FATHER: That's right, Jacob. That coyote is...
[ a cricket chirps ]
- What the heck?! - Was that a cricket?!
- You ruined it!!!
- What the cricket was that noise?
- Sounded like a cricket, sir.
- Is the coyote Jacob's father?!
- Sh sh sh sh sh sh shhhh.
[ the cricket loudly chirps again ]
I said shhhh! - Sorry.
- Let's just turn the volume up.
- Ehh I can tell already this cricket thing
is gonna be a problem.
[ the cricket chirps ]
This cricket wants to play games.
Okay. Let's see how it likes to play
a little game I like to call "Smokey Poison Cans."
And we're back!
- [ coughs ] Did you say Smokey Poison Can?
- Yeah, I know it's not the best name for a game,
but don't worry -- I got a gas mask!
- You don't happen to have two gas masks do you, sir?
- Oh -- good call.
Safety first!
- [ laughs ] Yeah!
[ music ]
- Yes! Just got another one! - You caught a criminal?!
- No, I just roped another steer in this cowboy video game.
- There's no way you're winning this competition.
- Yes I am.
Y'see, by riding a virtual horse
I'm putting myself in Dad's mindset when he lost his saddle.
- Wait -- you're still trying to find Dad's saddle?
I thought we were competing to catch more criminals.
- I can do two things at once, Mika.
- You can lose two things at once.
- Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-the laugh was fake.
- Do you seriously think you're gonna win?
Because if so that is really sad...
- You know what Mika, oh well.
- I'm actually sorry for you, I'm really sorry for you.
- Just a sad human being. You should be.
'Cause I'm gonna win. And you're gonna be mad.
[ blows whistle ]
- Whoa dude, I have sensitive ears.
- Oh. - Yeah, man.
[ blows whistle ]
- What's with the outfit?
- Yeah, did you get a job at Boot Locker?
- No.
I got a job at Ladies' Boot Locker.
- Nice.
- I got something for both of you.
- You got us a scoreboard? - Yes!
For this contest that you are currently engaged in.
To keep score. It's a visual aayyyyy-d.
- Where'd you get it?
- At the... scoreboard store... So what's the score?
- I'm winning. I caught two criminals last night.
Put it on the board, Schwoz.
I said put it on the board!
- Schwat do you think I'm doing?!
- And I'm also close on this graffiti case.
I think it's the Wall Dogs
but it could also be the Graffiti Girls,
and I've narrowed it down to three suspects for the fudge heist.
It's either the Fudge Girls, the Fudge Dogs or The Fudge Cats.
Either way, I'll have both of those cases wrapped up
by the end of the day and maybe even get some info about my dad's saddle.
Meanwhile ol' Miles here will probably still be playin vid'ja games.
VIDEO GAME VOICE: Go get them cowboy.
- Ha, roped another steer!
- I'm so gonna win.
- Ahhhh the scoreboard police!
[ doorbell rings ]
- Miles, honey, go get the door. I'm busy winning.
Now -- the reason I think it's the Fudge Dogs
is because I found paw prints... - Hello, ladies.
- We're sorrrrryyyyyy! - For what?
- We stole the fudge -- obviously!
- Ah. - But now we feel guilty
and we wanna turn ourselves in!
- Of course you do. - No!
- Oh yes.
- Take us to jailllll! - My pleasure.
Just one moment. Someone hit me three times!
[ scoreboard beeps ]
- [ sighs ] If you ladies wanna just climb aboard.
Nice.
- It's okay. It's fine.
I'll just have to work that much harder.
Can I borrow the Man Copter? - You need a pilot's license.
- What about the Man Van? - Driver's license.
- The Man Boat? - Fishing license.
- Uhhh. Well I need a way to get around town
and catch a buncha' crims!
- You can take the Man Buggy. It drives itself.
- [ gasps ] So I don't need a license for that?!
- All you need are these retro pair of shades.
- They said they had a friend...
- Don't forget me! I need to go to jail, too!
- Guess that makes four.
- Nice.
[ music ]
SHOUTOUT: Night after night, I patrol
these crime-ridden streets...
actually I just started five minutes ago.
Oooh! A bad guy!
Turn around, Man Buggy!
[ tires screech ]
SHOUTOUT: This city takes a toll on you.
Seventy-five cents, to be specific.
I'm so sorry, I don't have any change!
Just mail a ticket to the Man's Nest, and I will pay--
Wait a second-- are you illegally streaming
a children's television show on your phone?!
JAMIE: Is that some kinda crime?!
- It's called piracy, matey!
[ music ]
Quite the coincidence that you were committing piracy
while wearing an eye patch!
- I see that now!
With my one good eye!
♪ I found you I found you ♪
[ sirens blaring ]
[ saxophone music ]
- Turns out playing deeply meaningful saxophone music
in public without a license is a crime. Sorry.
This song is very moving, but you're only making it
worse for yourself, Steven Gregory!
[ saxophone music ]
ANNOUNCER: We now return to Jacob's Coyote: Howl to the Chief.
- How's Coyote Weekend? - Sh-sh-sh!
It's almost over! - Where's Ray?
- He's passed out in the other room.
- Why?
- Because I keep telling him to stop buying gas masks
from guys in gas station parking lots,
but he keeps doing it anyway.
RAY: [ coughs ] They're so cheap!
- Guys, quiet!
Coyote Weekend builds to this moment...
JACOB: But, but, coyote... you can talk now?
JACOB'S COYOTE: [ talks like Michael Caine ] It would appear
that I can. Can I make you a cuppa' tea?
- Wait -- Jacob's Coyote is British?!
- Yaaaaaaaees. - And he makes the best tea.
- Just watch -- this explains everything.
JACOB: But... how you could you be British?
JACOB'S COYOTE: I can explain everything...
- Told ya.
[ music ]
[ the cricket chirps ]
- Ahhhh!
RAY: That same cricket again?!
- How is that thing not dead from the poison gas?!
- Whoa! Hey hey hey hey! What are you guys doing?!
- We're trying to end the stupid cricket
that keeps interrupting our movies!
[ the cricket chirps again ]
- It sounds like the cricket noise is coming from there.
- IT'S IN BOSE'S POCKET -- GET IT!
- OW!!! What the heck ow!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Bose? Honey?
Is it possible that the cricket noise
is the ringtone on your phone?
- Uhhh, I don't have a phone, remember?
Some boy stole it? That's why I'm always angry?
It's kinda my origin story.
- Hmm. That's my origin story.
- Uh, no and I remember
because I wrote a note to myself in my...
...phone.
Okay, which one of you are twins?
- Someone call him.
- Youuu want me to call orrrr..?
- It does not matter.
- Ho-kay I'll do it no problems.
[ Bose's phone plays crickets chirping ]
- Oh man I have a lot of voicemails.
You guys are gonna chase me out of the room
while kicking me in the butts, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah. All of 'em.
- AHHHHHH!!
NO ONE IS MADDER AT ME THAN ME!
AHHHHH!
- You're not gonna go with them?
- I did want to kick Bose in the butts.
But for some reason I feel like the universe is telling me
to remain here for now.
'Sup with you?
- I'll tell you what's up.
I'm up. By twenty-nine crims.
I've been grinding all night in the Man Buggy --
and now I'm winning thirty-three to four.
And the contest runs out in five minutes, soooo...
looks like I've got a Victory Bath in my future.
[ knock on door ]
- [ chuckles ] You wanna get the door this time?
Could be a buncha' criminals.
- [ laughs ] Oh yeah! Oh I'm sure!
It's just a buncha' criminals!
Just open that door and show me how many are out there!
- Suit yourself.
- Excuse me. Is this the Swellview Academy For the Gifted?
- Yes it is.
- Told ya' it wasn't a bunch of criminals.
- We're a bunch of criminals! - WHAT?!
- And someone stole the scoreboard from the field
where we play in the Swellview Criminal Softball League.
And Arson Boy said he saw the little guy that stole it
bring it into this building.
I got three whole softball teams of criminals
right behind me, and we keep forgetting the score.
CRIMINAL: We were winning! OTHER CRIMINAL: No you weren't!
- As you can see, we really need that scoreboard back.
- Three whole softball teams of criminals, huh?
- No! - Yes!
- Aaaaaaand how many criminals are on each team?
- Ten! For a total of thirty criminals!
- OH COME ON!
- I do believe that is one more than thirty-three.
- So? What are you trying to get a new scoreboard or something?
- Not even a little bit. Come on in, criminals!
[ music ]
Ha ha ha.
Hey! Let all thirty of us criminals out!
- Hello, Swellview Police?
Yeah uh I've just trapped thirty criminals inside my school.
Please come get them.
- My sensitive ears!
[ Mika super-screams ]
[ music ]
- It's not fair. I worked so hard...
he worked so soft... why did he win?
- I dunno. - It's not fair!
- Hey you know what this reminds me of?
You're familiar with the Jacob's Coyote franchise, right?
- Not at all. - Wow.
I remember back in the time before J-C came into my life...
- Two days ago? - That's right.
Anyway, when Jacob and Coyote are on their way back
from Mars with the nuclear-- - Wait -- Mars?
- Yeah. Amazing, right? I mean--
- I don't want to hear about Jacob's Coyote!
I want to hear that we live in a world
where hard work pays off, and the answers to all your problems
don't just walk in through a door.
- Hey there!
- I'll tell you later, but you're gonna love it.
- I don't have any money.
Can I pay for my purée with this stolen saddle?
- Did she just say "stolen saddle?"
- She did. And what are the chances
her name is "Big Herm?"
- That's my dad's name!
- Looks like the answer to all your problems
just walked through that door, my friend.
- Do not let her leave. - Okay.
Hey! You! - Me?
- Yeah. Don't leave.
- Okay...
- Hey! You! - I said I wasn't leaving!
And my name isn't "You" it's Priscilla!
And why is everyone yelling at me?
- Oh! Do you want me to yell at you?
- Ohhhhh ya done messed up now, Priscilla...
- What I do? I--
[ ShoutOut super-screams ]
- [ giggles ] That was so cool!
- Don't hate me, but it's just like in
"Jacob's Coyote Fourteen:
Not Another Teen Coyote Movie -- Part One"--
No no no listen it's really good okay.
It also starts in Mexico--
[ music ]
- [ crying ] II uuuvv ouu.
- [ crying ] II uuuvv ouu too.
- I am about to take the best bath of my life!
Wait -- what are we crying about?
- I found daddy's saddle!
- [ gasps ] No...
- Yesss... - He said yes.
- Yeah, I got that.
How did you find the saddle?!
- I don't know, I was at Hip Hop Purée,
I was mad at you, and at the world, and then I just...
let it all go. And as soon as I did the saddle thief
walked right through the door -- with the saddle!
So I got a win, too, dear brother.
- Yes you did... - Thank you.
- by walking The Way of the Miles.
- Noooo... - You finally sat back
and let the criminal come to you.
- It's just a coincidence!
- I think you've learned something from me today, Mika.
- I've learned nothing from no one!
- You've learned that The Way of the Miles
is a superior path. You're welcome.
- I am not welcome!
- What's going on over there?
- Learning. - There's no learning!
- And changing. - There's no changing!
The only mistake I made was that I didn't try hard enough!
But I won't make that mistake ever again!
- I'm gonna go take my Victory Bath now.
- I'm going to be exactly the same as I was before --
maybe even more exactly the same!
- Victory Baths just be hittin' different.
But you wouldn't know that.
- What I know is that I'm going to be bathing
in the tears of my happy father!
- What? - Yeah, what?
- And drying off with the fluffy towel of my heart!
- Is she okay? - I do not know.
- You hear that, neighborhood? I won!
- Oh god, she's yelling at the neighborhood again.
- Let's go let's go let's go...
- And I'm not changing!
Or learning! Ever!
MRS. OFFSKRIN: Good for you, Mika!
- Thank you, Mrs. Offskrin!
MRS. OFFSKRIN: How long do you think you'll be yelling this time?
- OHHHHHHHH THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE!
MRS. OFFSKRIN: Okay...
MIKA: My brother thinks he's right, but he's not!
He's always in my room. Does he even have a room? I...
♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪
♪ The second I see trouble I know I'll be fine ♪
♪ I'm okay
♪ I'm okaaaay!
♪ Danger
♪ Whoaaa-oooh
♪ Ooooh-ooooh
♪ Danger!
♪ One two three Force!