["Holding Out for a Hero" plays]
[women cheering]
[Sheila] Okay, ladies, it's time to turn up the heat.
You got this.
-Give me a knee. -[woman] Whoo!
Knee. You got this.
Knee!
To the side.
That's right. Keep it up.
Knee, right, two, three. Knee. Other side.
And jumping jacks. Jacking. Jacking. Up, out, in, out.
This is when that voice starts, right? In your head.
It's saying slow down. Take a break. It's a little hard.
Are we gonna listen to that voice?
[women] No!
[Sheila] I can't hear you.
-Are you gonna listen to that voice? -[dancers] No!
Let's take it to the front. And one, two, three, knee!
[woman] Whoo!
[Sheila] Knee! Whoo!
Knee! Whoo.
Legs nice and wide.
Drop that butt. That's it.
Deep squat.
For five, six,
five, six, seven, eight.
Press to the left.
And swing the hips. Swing, swing, swing
for eight, seven, six, five, four, three,
two, one, out.
Feel the twist in your waist.
Shake it, ladies.
Shake it, don't break it. Shake and two.
[PA system: music playing]
I heard they sold out every VCR they had in stock.
People wanting to do the workout tape they bought today at home.
-It's pretty impressive. -Thank you.
Auggie Cartwright.
With Stahl/Grunner,
producers of programming for the home video market.
Obviously you've really got something here.
If you don't mind me asking, what's next?
It's all happened very fast. I don't exactly know yet.
Well, I might.
And if you let me buy you a fruit smoothie,
I also just might tell you.
I can meet you at the food court in ten.
Works for me.
[Danny] Yeah, but, uh, you know, more signatures.
Just make sure people know where their polling places are.
That's where some of the--
Sheila, what a turnout. That was electric.
Wasn't that electric? And we sold out of every single videotape we brought.
And we gave away all the campaign literature too, I hope?
Yep. There was one in every bag. Republican or democrat, everyone got one.
Wow. You were something up there.
Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen you so, um…
-[clicks tongue] Um… -So?
-You know… -Vibrant? Captivating?
Uh, strong. Strong. Yeah.
Um, we better get back to HQ.
Jerry's got us door knocking the rest of the day, so…
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
You know, actually, I should stay and help clean up.
Is it all right if I meet you at home? It won't take long.
Yeah, sure. Yeah. Totally.
You really were just something else. Something… else.
All right.
[pants] I have some new ideas for us. For our next tape.
I couldn't sleep last night.
Stress. And speed.
-Do you wanna hear? -Yeah.
I do. But it's gonna have to be later.
-Is that okay? -Later's cool. I have stuff too.
-If I don't see you, good luck today. -Good luck with what?
Election, stupid. [chuckles]
-Yes. -I hope you win.
[panting] Okay. Go.
At Stahl and Grunner,
we produce original programming in four categories:
entertainment, children's, how-to, and sports and fitness.
Which is where you come in. I hope.
Come in? How would I come in?
Tell you what, let me answer your question with a question.
Have you heard of The Drain Guru?
I mean, def-- Of course.
-Everyone's heard of him. -He's huge, right?
You could be huger. You've got the skills and the looks.
You're something that someone
would actually like to see in their house every day.
Not like a clogged toilet. [chuckles] Am I right?
Well, I hope so. [chuckles]
VCRs all over this country with you inside them.
I already have a tape that's doing quite well.
Here's what I'm offering you:
professional production,
high-volume reproduction
and widespread distribution.
Take this home, have your husband walk you through it.
And then call me
so we can start making you a household name.
Pan Am, Stetson, Sheila.
"You do your Sheila today?" "I did my Sheila this morning."
"Oh, I do my Sheila every day."
How great does that sound?
-Seemed like it went pretty smoothly. -I thought so too.
Can I get our deposit back? We didn't break anything.
Of course.
I would have given it to you earlier, but I didn't wanna interrupt.
-It looked important. -What did?
Your conversation. Man, very expensive briefcase.
Oh. Yeah, he, uh--
The production company.
They make tapes of products and distribution.
The Drain Guru.
So Mr. Briefcase wants to turn you into The Drain Guru?
-Well, my version of that, but yes. -And what about your colleague?
The one with the creative approach to her renter's agreement.
Does he wanna turn her into The Drain Guru too?
Or is that why she wasn't at the meeting?
Uh, we-- we didn't really get into the details of what--
Of course, but he knows she exists, right?
If what you told me about your husband's socialist beliefs
being your beliefs is true…
Yeah. I-- I better get home.
-If you ask me-- -I did not ask you.
But if you did,
I'd say anyone interested in investing in this enterprise
can tell that you are the real draw.
You're the one people came to see.
-Well, it's really none of your business. -That's right.
It's yours.
Your valuable capital.
Likely, you wanna protect it.
Maybe that's why Ms. Kazam wasn't there with you and that producer fellow
enjoying a refreshing juice drink in the food court.
It's barely juice. It's basically soda. And you don't really know me at all, so…
God knows.
God and, I assume, your husband.
[Jerry] Hey, man. You gotta eat something.
No. Whenever I eat when I'm this tense, I get the runs.
Yeah, me too. But I never learn.
Sheila. Sheila, I have the paper.
-[Danny] Jesus Christ. -Sheila, hang up the phone.
-Thank you. -You're the front page
-of the style section of the Times. -What?
Did that bozo even mention our campaign?
Okay, here we go. Uh…
"Here's what her growing audience may not realize,
all proceeds directly fund her husband, Danny Rubin's grassroots campaign,
a futile but valiant effort against Republican shoo-in, Mike Schmidt."
Futile but valiant.
Wow, Sheil. Way to get the word out.
It's the Times.
They'll just say anything to suit their own agenda.
-Uh-huh. -[Danny] Yeah, you know, they--
they've wanted us dead since we started. But we're very much alive, aren't we?
-Mm-hmm. -Yeah.
-Hey, Jerry. [sighs] -Mmm.
-I'm out 50 bucks. -Oh, yeah, buddy. Let me, um--
-I have it. -Mmm.
-I have it. -[sighs]
-Thanks. -[Jerry] Thanks, man. Put it in there.
["Gimme Some" plays]
Oh, my God.
It's the entire front page. The whole thing.
They moved the rest of the campaign stuff to page two.
You look great, Sheila.
[chuckles] She looks amazing.
[chuckles]
Bedroom closet has those folding accordion doors.
One of 'em might be a little bit broken.
It might have been by me. Just now. [chuckles]
You seriously need to talk quieter, Tyler.
They don't mention me at all.
[Tyler] It's not a real article. More like a bunch of pictures.
Of her.
It's free publicity for the studio. I mean, that's what matters anyway, right?
They don't mention the studio at all.
They only talk about her.
Sorry, what?
Tyler, stop yelling.
Sorry. [chuckles]
So, like, what do you think of this place? I-- I think it's a pretty sick spot.
You plus garbage disposal? I mean, it's fucking luxe.
I don't know if it's a good time for this. I, uh-- I get a bad feeling.
I get a rad feeling too.
I can see us here.
I-- I said bad feeling, Tyler.
Bad as in opposite of rad.
Like she's using us, and she'll leave us behind. [sighs]
She won't come through on anything she promised--
Baby! No, no, no, no. Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit.
Tyler? Oh, shit. [grunts] Babe.
[inhales sharply] Someone?
God, someone call a fucking ambulance, please!
Shh, baby.
-[Sheila] Just if he has time. -[Greta] Yeah. He'll have time.
You know, he could look for some loopholes.
No, Ernie looks at contracts for fun.
He'll tell you whether you get a good deal or not.
Thank you. Than--
That means a lot. This is good. Here's good.
So--
Hey, should Ernie be mentioning this contract to Danny or shouldn't he?
Uh, not yet.
Did you tell Danny about it?
I will.
Sheil, I support you. You know I do.
But, um, how exactly is this supposed to work?
Well, you know, if Danny wins,
then he's gonna be spending most of his time in Sacramento
while I can focus on my business down here.
He'll be doing his own thing up there while I'm doing my own thing down here.
Yeah, but what kind of marriage is that?
A happy one.
But that means Danny has to win.
["52 Girls" plays]
Okay, so yeah, that's the last of 'em.
You wanna head back to HQ and grab some more? Sheila?
Sheila! Sheila! We aren't allowed to do that, are we?
-What-- Oh, Jesus. -Go, go, go!
-Close the door! -Go, go, go!
-Drive, drive! -Sheila. Oh, my God!
[door opens]
[doctor] Ma'am, absolutely not.
What's the latest?
Well, we completed surgery. He's stable. He's resting now.
The seizure was the result of an infection in his ear canal
caused by water trapped behind severe exostosis,
-which is a condition-- -I know what it is.
Well, he's fortunate that the infection didn't spread to his brain.
Okay, we're gonna need to monitor him for at least two nights minimum.
That's not gonna work for us.
Uh, we need to get out of here, like, much sooner.
Like pronto.
He just had invasive surgery.
So whatever plans you have, you're gonna have to cancel them, okay?
Fuck that. You're not scamming us, Dr. No-Nuts.
I'm sorry. We don't have the whole insurance thing totally covered.
Then someone from accounting can talk to you about a payment plan.
He's been cast aside.
He's been underestimated.
He's been viciously attacked by the opposition.
He's been called a fringe voice, an outdated hippy.
A dangerous un-American communist who's after your values,
your wallet, your daughters.
[growls]
[all chuckling]
But the truth of what's in his heart,
I don't have to tell you guys that…
but I will.
[both chuckling]
This man, this giant among men,
he's not just out to save the sorry soul of this community…
Well, brother, you've already saved mine.
You've made me believe in this cockamamie process again.
That-- That some good could come out of this.
I mean, look at me, man. [cries]
I came up here to say thank you to all of you for being here,
and I'm crying like a little bitch. [chuckles]
Jerry, you mind if I say a few words?
Would you get up here and give me an off-ramp, please?
[chuckles]
Danny Rubin, everyone!
Oh. [exhales]
Uh, you guys,
I-- I just gotta say this is fu-- this is fucking amazing
to be here on the verge with all of you.
And my friend who arrived like the goddamn cavalry
with his spirit and his strategy to put us well over the top.
Hi-yo, Silver, brother.
And my wife, Sheila. You wanna come up?
Sheila!
Whoo!
Ah. This beautiful woman,
who I am certain you would all agree is much too good for me. [chuckles]
Well…
Her belief in me from the very beginning is what started all of this.
Um, so from the bottom of my heart, babe, thank you.
Oh, hear, hear. Yay.
[Simone] Okay. All right.
Enough sappy stuff. We have got the turnout to mobilize, all right?
We are up against a serious foe today.
Big, beautiful glossy waves with a perfect offshore breeze.
So we do have our work cut out for us, all right?
Come and see me for your assignments.
And remember, when it comes to local elections,
there's really only one tried and true American motto:
Nobody cares.
-[scoffs] -Well, let's turn that around today.
Let's get out the votes!
-[all] Yeah! -Yeah. Yeah.
[Maria] Are you worried, dear?
[Breem] About winning the election? No. Why?
I just wasn't expecting you to call in the middle of everything.
I just wanted to say hello before I join, uh, my brethren in the poll effort.
-How are you? -Just fine.
Anything in particular you'd like for dinner tonight?
I thought prime rib.
I have a taste for red meat all of a sudden.
Uh, sounds fine. Just make sure it reheats well.
It could be a long night.
Maybe because I took a test this morning and it appears that I'm pregnant.
Where's the after-party being held?
Uh, the Thoroughbred Club.
Well, have a nice time.
And when you come home, try not to wake me.
[Jerry] Check out that line, man.
Those are our people. No Schmidt-heads.
How can you tell?
You gotta check the footwear, Sheil.
Not a boat shoe in sight.
Not to mention the distinct absence of cummerbunds. [chuckles]
[Danny] This moment feels historic.
Like we planted it together in the past so it could come true in the present.
-You know what I mean? -Yeah, man.
I do, actually.
I meant what I said, you know? About your faith in me.
None of this would be happening without you.
No. That's good of you to say, but, uh, it's not the case.
-Yeah, it's true. It is true. -You-- You're the--
You had the vision. You were the spark.
-And you, you were the gas. -[Sheila] Guys.
-You know it, bud. -Guys!
Okay, so the Mormons rented a bus.
So the fuck what?
It's just intimidation tactics, you know? Sound and fury.
I mean, how many of them are there?
They don't believe in birth control.
This fucking guy.
[sighs] Oh, there she is. You have been here all night.
I'm helping. There's a lot of mouths to feed.
Yeah, you're hiding. I get it. I wish I could hide too,
but everybody's watching me, so it's not really an option.
[sighs] God, I don't even fucking want this.
I just want the fucking results. Jesus.
-Honey, you're making a mess. -Oh, I'm sorry. [chews]
Excuse me for eating something. You should try it some time.
-Don't do that. -Hey.
Hey, I need you. Stop walking away from me.
What? I'm just wiping my hands. What? [chuckles]
Eat this.
-No. -Yes.
Indulge yourself for once in your life. You can do it for me.
-I've already had one. I'm good. -Yeah, bullshit.
-Simone had it right. -[sighs]
-Simone? What did she have right? -All the working out that you're doing.
I mean, who's it for, huh?
Are you trying to build up the strength so you can leave me when I lose?
-This is a very stressful night for you. -Yeah.
Maybe the most stressful night of your life.
-Mmm. -I understand.
Babe, everything is gonna be…
-It's-- -What?
Whatever happens, we'll-- we'll-- we'll be all right.
Yeah? What if I lose?
Are you gonna see me the same way after that?
You're not gonna lose.
So you won't then?
No. Yes. I mean, it won't matter.
-Then eat the fucking cream puff. -No.
-Yes. -No. [grunting]
[grunting continues]
I'm so sorry, Sheila. I am so sorry. I am so sorry.
You have to forgive me. I don't know why I did that.
I'm a horrible person. [breathes deeply]
-It's okay. It's okay. -What if it's not okay?
-What if it's never okay, Sheila? -It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay.
-[Bunny] Let me say her name. -[Jerry] No.
[Bunny] Back the fuck off or I'll dropkick you in the nuts!
[Jerry] Hey, Sheila, we got an issue here!
-Don't you touch me, you monster. -[Bunny] Yeah.
She's my friend. It's okay. She's my friend. Just go-- go away.
For the record, I did not touch her.
-Okay. -She touched me.
-Can we talk outside? -We need to--
-We need to talk right now… -Yes.
-Outside. -…because right now you wanna see…
-This is not a good time. -That fucking asshole is toying with the--
[pants] Oh, my God.
What happened to Tyler?
I had a weird night. Somebody punched me.
He had surgery. We need to know what your plans are for the future
because we have some serious financial realities we're facing.
And if you're just gonna bail on us
like everybody else, then we're gonna--
I need to lie down. Maybe a sandwich.
It's election night.
And, uh, the results are coming in any minute.
I have a house full of guests.
We don't have a house.
We almost had an apartment.
Now we just have a really expensive hole in Tyler's head.
And from what we read in the paper, it seems like you're gonna take off
on some rocket ship to money town and leave our asses behind.
That is not who I am.
[Sheila] Liar. She has you pegged.
[breathes heavily]
I know that the world can seem like a cruel and selfish place sometimes,
but not everybody is like that.
Some people have different values, like kindness.
[Sheila] You lying sack of shit. She sees who you are.
She always has. She knows.
[Simone] All right, everybody. It's time.
I-- I'm sorry. I-- I-- I have to go in. I'm sorry.
[footsteps departing]
[cheering]
[Sheila] Those are the winners right there.
And these are the losers. Can't even pull off a local election.
This is what you've tied yourself to.
Old ideas.
Unpopular. Unwanted.
Tired.
Big fat losers.
That's you, right here, right now.
Weighed down. Sunk.
Done.
Just give up. Just get it over with.
You fat fucking loser. You're sunk down. Done.
Oh, crap. Sorry! One second! Give us a minute!
[Sheila] You don't have a minute. You're about to explode.
You understand that? You will explode.
-Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, fi-- -[Greta] Yeah, go. Go, go, go.
-Hi. Hey there. -Hey. Hi. Hi.
-[Sheila stammers] -Hey.
-[Sheila chuckles] -Hi.
Uh, Greta-- Greta, uh, showed me your contract.
[Greta] Mm-hmm.
-[Ernie] And, uh, looks good. Yeah. -[Greta] It looks good.
Happy to go over it with you, uh, some other time. [chuckles]
Yeah. It looks good in-- in my opinion, yeah. Okay.
That's fine.
I'm so sorry.
The tension just got us so, like, you know. [chuckles]
So did the results come in? Did we win?
Oh, Sheila.
Oh--
I'm so sorry.
[Sheila] You're the sorry one. Stuck and sorry.
Oh, you feeling bad, hon?
Go stick a cream puff up your ass.
[Sheila] Maybe if he'd won, it would be different.
You'd be happy, celebrating. But he didn't.
He's just a loser. He's a weak, pathetic loser.
Oh, God. Is that--
["Edge of Seventeen" plays]
Oh, God.
[thuds]
-Well, at least I have my wife by my side. -[snorts]
Oh, that's right. No, I don't.
Because she bailed and left me alone again.
She's like the rest of this goddamn country, man.
-Ugh. -I'm sorry.
I, uh-- I wanted this to be celebration coke.
-[snorts] -Consolation works too.
Oh, I don't know if I'd wanna hang out with us either.
-Oh, Reagan… -[sniffs]
…and his goons are gonna keep winning.
-'Cause nobody wants-- -[Jerry] Nobody wants the truth.
-This world is out of control. -[Danny] The world.
-[Jerry] It's terrible. Screwed. -The earth is screwed.
Are you kidding me? The oceans--
The air! Come on.
We're the only ones who care about this shit, man.
God, it doesn't matter that we're good people.
Oh, fuck that. We're great people.
It doesn't matter. No one cares. We're unpopular.
[both] We're losers. We're unmarketable.
-That's what it fucking comes down to. -Unmarketable, what is that?
It's doublespeak. It's what the man created.
-No. No, no, no. -No?
-We've been thinking about this wrong… -We're wrong.
-…the entire time. -This entire time we've been wrong.
[both] We can't work with the system.
-So we have to work outside the system. -Outside the system.
[whispers] We need a think tank.
We will call ourselves the, um, "the Campaign for United Mobilization…"
-"Of the Democratic Movement of…" -No.
-Uh, "Advocacy." -No. No, "Coalition."
-"The Coalition of the Democratic," uh… -Coalition. Democratic. Uh…
-[grunts] Fuck! -Allegiance? No!
-[snorts, groans, sniffs] -Fuck!
-Why's it so hard to come up with a name? -I don't know, man.
I can't come up with a name.
-It's gone. Just let it go. -We'll just-- [groans, snorts]
We'll fucking-- We have so much time. We'll think of it.
[moans]
-We've been thinking too small. -Of course we've been thinking too small.
-Too small. [snorts] -You're bigger than this town.
-Oh, fuck this town. [sighs] -You're bigger than this state.
-Fucking town. This state. The fucking-- -Do you understand?
It's fucking national.
No. No, it's not fucking national.
-It's fucking international, man. -Jerry.
-Jerry. Fucking international. -It's fucking international. [chuckles]
[moans]
[Sheila] Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Yes!
[exhales]