And now on to soluble fibers,
found in delicious foods such as mushrooms,
barley or these oats right here.
Now, when we digest these foods,
the fiber in them actually extends that sensation of feeling full.
Is that right?
That is accurate.
[Sheila] I love how the right foods can do more for us
for longer than the junk food alternatives.
It's that old "sticks to the ribs" feeling
that a healthy and hearty meal can provide. I love it.
That expression is misleading.
Soluble fiber delays gastric emptying…
-[chuckles] -…and thickens fecal mass.
[Sheila] Oh, there's that word again. [chuckles]
[guest] You can't talk fiber without talking feces.
Indeed. Thank you to Letty McDougall,
a clinical dietitian from Sharp Memorial Hospital
who's been teaching us how to have a happy tummy through healthy eating.
Back to you.
-[director] All right, cut! -[bell rings]
Sheila. [sighs] Look, don't give it a second thought.
Yeah. Fiber was always gonna be an uphill climb.
Do not blame yourself.
[stammers] No, I'm not.
Uh, Dr. McDougall is a-- had a very important message.
-She's incredibly knowledgeable and-- -Some people are textbook people.
-TV just isn't their medium. -Now, you're TV people.
-That's for sure. [chuckles] -Thanks.
All right. Let's shake off that fiber lady,
right, and train our sights on next week's segment.
We're still thinking, "Gyms are the new singles bars."
[chuckles] We like that idea an awful lot.
Yes, uh, I know.
-We really do. -I know you do.
But I like the idea of the dynamic warm-up to help prevent workout injury.
-My idea. -We know you do, but it's--
[director] Thirty seconds out!
[Dick chuckles] Nothing like a commercial break meeting
because the end is always nigh.
Oh, I'm glad we huddled up on that singles gym piece.
Can't wait to see it come to life.
[upbeat dance music playing]
♪ There's no denying What I'm deeply craving ♪
♪ But I'll stop you there I'm not misbehaving ♪
♪ That rich and velvety taste ♪
♪ So rich, so rich ♪
♪ That won't add bulk to my waist ♪
♪ Figure 8s ♪
♪ So rich, delish, Figure 8s ♪
Okay, on to Thursday lunch. School lunches. Sandwiches. PB and Js.
PB and Js are going to be in the refrigerator on the middle shelf.
What's she like in real life, this, uh, Kelly Kilmartin?
-Dang it, Ernie. -What?
I need you to pay attention to my words, okay?
-Jesus, can you not talk to me like-- -I'm trying to explain to you--
Like I'm one of the kids?
I premade your meals for the entire week that I'm going to be gone.
So I would love it if you could just pause what you're doing
and take a moment to, you know, notice.
Thank you. I didn't ask you to, but thank you.
As much as I love your chicken marsala--
You do love my chicken marsala. Don't you dare say you don't.
I do, but we survived your last trip to… [stammers] …LA. We'll be fine.
That was three nights! This is five whole nights.
I don't think the impact of that is, like, fully hitting you.
Okay, you're nervous about your trip to LA with Kelly. Am I right?
Hmm? Playing in the big leagues. Tell you what, how about I tag along, huh?
Adela can handle the twins for a few days.
Five days. That's almost a whole week. I keep telling you that.
[stammers] You don't like to be alone. Admit that, at least, all right?
You miss your friend Sheila.
Ernie! I don't need you to fix this or fix me.
I just need you to listen.
Can you do that, please?
I got you extra cold cuts for late at night in case you get snacky,
but I separated them into individual sets so you don't go through them too quick.
Oh, and I didn't forget about breakfast. That's in the pantry.
Come on. Come on. Ern, keep up!
-[sighs] -[Sheila] Great class. Thanks, everyone.
What's the rest of the afternoon?
So, the 2:15, 5:30 classes, obviously waiting list only.
So pat on the back to you.
And I blocked out 45 minutes for you to sign those teddy bears
-for those cancer kids. -Okay, thank you.
[sighs]
[clicks tongue] Uh, if you ever wanted to open up about
-what happened between you and Greta… -I don't.
…I-- [stammers] Yep.
And, um, I'm assuming you've seen it?
Figure 8's commercial? I hated it. Hate her.
We don't need to hate anyone.
Diet cookies aren't my thing anyway. And I'm not a singer.
I bet you could be.
Could you do some research for me on gyms with singles pickup scenes?
Aren't you seeing someone?
It's for a Wake Up San Diego segment.
Right. [chuckles] Sorry. Uh, yeah.
-Uh, open or closed? -Closed.
[chuckling]
I'm a fan. Nay, I am a fanatic.
Probably more verging on zealot.
About running?
Yeah. I, you know, did not see that coming at all, but now that's--
that is just who I am. Running free out in the world. [chuckles]
Don't you get tired?
-That's the best part. -[chuckles]
I'm thinking about launching an outreach program for disadvantaged youths.
Like a running program. Just now.
Can't they just run if they want to?
You would think that, wouldn't you, right?
But… [inhales deeply]
…the tentacular nature of systemic inequality just…
Never mind. Um, that was the passion of the newly converted.
Sorry. Um, what about you?
Do you have anything that you believe in strongly or feel strongly?
[clicks tongue, inhales sharply]
I feel strongly that people should not be allowed to own snakes. [chuckles]
Wow. Okay. [chuckles] Yeah. Asked and answered.
I guess I don't know. I'm, um--
There's not much that I'm passionate about.
Not like you.
Is that why you thought to ask me out?
[chuckles]
Yeah.
And I like your butt.
[both chuckle]
Nice. That's nice.
I think we should talk about the elephant in the cantina.
Uh, Sheila. Sheila is the elephant.
Oh, she would not like that analogy. [chuckles]
I mean, she would play it off like she didn't care.
So I-- I just don't think that, you know, you working with my ex-wife--
-For. I work for her. -For, yes.
Nonetheless, I don't think it should have much bearing on us seeing each other.
In personal context.
What do you think?
Yeah. I tend to totally agree.
And we don't even have to talk about it. Her.
I probably will want to though.
I will too. Yeah. Sometimes.
I mean, she's not holding back on dating. So, why should you?
Right. [sniffs] That's right. [chuckles]
[whistle blowing]
Oh, this is why I love this place. [chuckles]
What is this?
["My Last Disco Song" playing]
[whistle continues blowing]
Pointing at me?
Yes, you.
-Okay. -[chuckles]
-Okay. Wow. -[Fidelia] You've got this!
-[Fidelia laughing] -[patrons cheer]
Mmm. Ah.
[sighs]
-[baby fusses] -Hey, girl.
[sighs] I understand you're still upset.
Good. I am.
I shouldn't have been so presumptuous as to assume I knew what you needed.
Medically or psychologically.
[sighs] This is your penance?
I want to help.
As a husband and a father.
You deserve that kind of help.
I've cleared my whole day. From now until bath time,
I will be in charge of Grace.
And you can do whatever you want during that time. That time is yours.
She has a checkup at Dr. Gilchrist's today, John.
I know, at 11:30.
I've got the address and phone number already written down.
You wanna do this?
I do. But for you. I want to do this for you.
You'll call me at Dr. Gilchrist's if there's anything wrong?
I will. Enjoy the silence and relax.
If only for a short time.
Okay. I'm ready for the baby now. [sighs]
-Okay. -It's okay.
[groans] Oh, yeah. I've got it.
Okay.
Wish me luck.
Yeah, I love working out.
-I mean-- Well, clearly. [chuckles] -[chuckles]
Right? [chuckles] Like, I thought I just said that.
You did. I actually asked you why you like working out.
-You did, didn't you? -[chuckles]
Shit.
[Sheila] So, Mitch, you said you met your girlfriend here.
Is the social aspect of exercise important to you?
If I let you interview me on camera,
you're not gonna make me sound like a dipshit, are you?
-[mouthing] No. -Because I was on the news once,
and they made me sound like a total dipshit.
[Carlos laughs, coughs]
Absolutely not.
Because there's a lot of things that I am.
I do eat a lot of meat. That's good for you.
I love magnesium before I go to bed. Get up. Slam some creatine.
♪ There's no denying What I'm deeply craving ♪
♪ But I'll stop you there I'm not misbehaving ♪
♪ That rich and velvety taste ♪
♪ So rich, so rich ♪
♪ That won't add bulk to my waist ♪
♪ Figure 8s ♪
♪ So rich, delish, Figure 8s ♪
-[laughs] -You know what I'm saying?
-Yeah, I really-- No, I-- I-- I-- Yeah. -Thank you.
Let's, um-- Let's take-- Let's take five.
-Let's take five. Yeah. [inhales deeply] -Yeah.
A shitty idea yields a shitty result.
Okay then. Why'd you ask me to stop by?
I don't know. Uh-- [clicks tongue]
So I could… [chuckles] …think I'm better than this,
and you would have a reason to believe me?
Let me tell you something.
You're fat, okay?
Not where it's cute. Where it's ugly.
You got skinny arms and a big, fat ass.
What?
What did you say?
You didn't hear me? [scoffs]
Uh, I-- I-- I-- Sorry, I just was, um-- I just got distracted.
I was thinking-- What? Could you just say that again?
You're definitely better than this.
Oh, um. Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I thought you said.
Okay, we should get back.
[sighs] Whoo.
So, how was last night?
Oh, thank you for waiting two seconds before asking.
Uh-huh, uh-huh. How was it?
Uh, it was, um-- it was nice, actually.
Oh, what's her name? What grade is she in?
Okay.
Does she have a curfew, or are, like, her parents the more permissive type?
It's not funny. And also, it's not accurate.
Okay, I think it's a reasonable assumption.
Oh, yeah? That I went on a date with a teenager and I'm a felon?
Okay, you're not a felon, but you are a dirtbag.
What a gift, you making that distinction.
I mean, you only date women you can control.
Or at least manipulate.
-[scoffs] -Like doe-eyed freshmen, babysitters--
Did I have control over Nicole Maura?
No. She was five years older than I was, and she kissed me.
I meant babysitters you'd hired.
You made out with Nicole Maura from Hillcrest High?
We kissed once, yes, but "made out" sounds a lot better,
-so, yeah, please use that terminology. -[scoffs]
You're threatened by women of strength and conviction.
No.
Look, it's not like the worst thing in the world.
It just means you're probably not going out for margaritas
-with anyone all that fully-formed. -[chuckles]
Oh. So, I caught Maya putting toothpaste on her vagina.
-What? -[Deb] She said it tingled.
She's right. No big deal, just thought you might wanna know.
But, oh, you need more toothpaste. And Ritz Crackers.
Hey, ready to go to school, baby girl?
-Yep. I want Aunt Debbie to take me. -You got it, kid.
Yeah. [inhales sharply]
Um. [clears throat]
She's 37, I'll have you know.
-Mm-hmm. -[Danny] And her name is Alma,
and she's an architect from Andalusia, Spain.
-Where Picasso's from. -This is sad.
And she has two kids. Nine and 11. Those are their ages, not their names.
-And her biggest fear is snakes. -[Maya grunts]
-Okay. -Who's that?
Nobody that you know.
-[Deb] Hey, let's go, sweetie. -[Danny sniffs]
[door closes]
Toothpaste.
[Dr. Gilchrist] And Miss Grace here, was, uh--
[stammers] What was her birth weight, Mr. Breem?
[Breem] I do not know. No.
[Dr. Gilchrist] Still a little under what we'd like,
but, uh, how many ounces is she keeping down per feeding?
[Breem] I'm sorry-- Uh, you mean… [stammers] …of milk?
[Dr. Gilchrist] Yes.
[Breem] Milk. [sighs] That's what I thought.
[echoes] Um, I don't know though in terms of ounces.
I do not like this one iota. [sighs]
["(I'm A) TV Savage" playing]
[indistinct chattering]
[Greta] So I had a great meeting
with Moe Crittenden and the margarine people.
Uh, they saw the cookie commercial and loved it, obviously.
Everyone did. But, um,
I really had to butter them up to get this meeting, so…
Mmm, I wouldn't say "butter" in margarine country if I were you.
[chuckles] Good one, Rusty.
♪ Ta-da ♪
-What do you think? -Oh, I don't--
I don't really know what to think. Is there a bottom part?
Of course there's a bottom part.
-Man, this whole gig's a bottom part. -[all chuckle]
That's another good one, Rusty. So glad you could be here.
Oh, shit.
I'm waiting for wardrobe to bring my shortened shorts,
'cause they were way too long.
Yeah, okay, so, a little hard to focus.
Um, have you ever considered doing any children's programming?
The margarine people think it would be a really good idea
if you did one of those educational puppet shows for kids.
Yeah, it'd bring you more into their family of brands.
Kid shows are a pass. Small costars, small paychecks.
You heard the boss.
So, Kelly, this is not about what you're getting up front, yeah?
This is about you knowing the back end.
No! I heard it. [chuckles] Okay.
I'm embarrassed. I got it. I caught it that time.
That makes a whole lot of sense to me.
-[inhales sharply] But-- -[knocking]
Yeah.
I have Ms. Kilmartin's shorts.
You are doing God's work. Thank you.
And her special delivery.
[door closes]
[whistles, clicks tongue]
-[sighs] I thought this was a charity gig. -[Kelly] Oh,
Rusty beat this into me a long time ago.
Always demand your salary up front.
"Cause what are they gonna do?
-Do the fucking show without you?" -"Do the fucking show without you?"
[both chuckle]
[Rusty] See, that's just good business right there.
Oh, shit. I put 'em on backwards.
[Rusty] That's what makes you cute.
That and that ass. [sighs, sniffs]
Party in the front, party in the back. [chuckles]
[grunts] That'll wake you up.
Is my daughter sick? Is that what you're--
[Dr. Gilchrist] No, no. She's fine.
Mr. Breem, do you know what your blood type is?
Uh, yes. It's O.
And you're sure about that?
Absolutely.
The same as your wife's. And-- And Grace's blood type is AB.
Is that bad?
It's not good or-- or bad. It's-- It's simply--
I-It must be a mistake is all.
Y-Your wife and you both O means a child would also be O.
Mr. Breem, I'm-- I'm calling you as a courtesy, man-to-man,
to tell you it is biologically impossible that you are that little girl's father.
Uh, I have no interest in involving myself in anything marital. I-- I just--
Called as a courtesy. Man-to-man.
That's right.
[swallows] Yes, um, thank you.
[handset clatters in cradle]
[Sheila] I should be celebrating five months
without any binges or intrusive voices.
Uh, I know. I know. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.
But I was doing so great, and then, I don't know.
The-- The voices weren't there,
and then they changed
and, um, shape-shifted.
[sighs] And started coming at me in a different form.
[sighs] I had another binge at that fitness expo.
Figure 8s?
Yeah. Yeah. Those are the ones.
Uh, I thought, I don't know, I could handle it and then, well…
That rich and velvety taste.
-♪ That won't add bulk to my waist ♪ -[Sheila] Are you guys--
♪ There's no denying What I'm deeply craving ♪
♪ But I'll stop you there I'm not misbehaving ♪
♪ That rich and velvety taste ♪
♪ So rich, so rich ♪
♪ Won't add bulk to my waist ♪
♪ Figure 8s ♪
♪ So rich, delish, Figure 8s ♪
[gasps]
[Harriet] Is there anything you want to share with us today, Sheila?
And welcome back, everyone.
It's now 13 past the hour here in San Diego,
which means it's now time for everyone's favorite fitness expert,
Sheila D. Rubin.
Now, Sheila, I understand you're here today to tell us how gyms,
which are more popular than ever,
are becoming the new hot places for singles to meet.
Many saying surpassing even singles bars. Tell us more about that, Sheila.
Oh, I'd prefer not to. But thank you so much for the intro, Stew.
Uh, um.
Is it Dick? Or Stew?
I'm-- I forgot your name. Doesn't matter. [clears throat]
I'm not gonna talk about singles meeting singles in gyms,
because… [chuckles] …that-- It's stupid and I don't want to.
But I am going to use my time on air to talk about something more--
[clicks tongue] something more--
I-- I have something else to say.
I have to say it. If I don't, I feel I may--
I may explode. [chuckles]
I've been suffering from the eating disorder known as bulimia
since I was a teenaged girl.
And, uh, it didn't get better when I got married.
Or when I became a mother.
But it did get better when I discovered exercise
that got me out of the destructive thoughts in my head and into my body,
that opened a whole new door to a new and healthier way of life.
[Sheila] I sought treatment, I committed to my recovery,
and I got a lot better.
Healthier. Happier.
Hopeful, even.
Which brings me to what I would prefer to be talking about this morning.
Which is how much I detest the entire premise
of Hartman Foods' "diet" cookie known as the Figure 8s.
There is no such thing as a diet cookie.
And there's no such thing as a shortcut to a whole new you.
That's a lie.
A very beautiful and appealing lie
being sold to you by a very beautiful and appealing liar.
And I don't know about you, but I am sick of being lied to.
Sick and tired of it.
If there's one thing I know for sure-- maybe the only thing I know for sure
is that a healthy and happy life isn't easy.
It happens slowly and surely with hard work and determination.
But there's help and there's hope.
And if you want to know more, please contact me,
care of Body By Sheila.
PO Box 89, San Diego, California, 92101.
[phone ringing]
-Hello? -What do you think you've done?
Greta. I didn't think you were speaking to me anymore.
Oh, I think you owe me at very least a simple explanation
of what it is you think you did on television this morning.
I did what I wanted to do.
[smacks lips] There it is.
-Still on the same page about some things. -[Sheila] I didn't plan it.
I didn't know what was gonna come out of my mouth.
-I just had to be truthful for once. -[Greta] Sure you did.
How very brave of you.
Never mind the fact that you took aim and fired at Kelly and me in the process.
She's not gonna stand for this.
Is this your new job? Just relaying Kelly's threats?
She doesn't know I am talking to you. I am doing this--
I am doing this as a former friend.
Oh, how very brave of you.
I-- [sighs]
-I'm sorry if I-- -You're not sorry.
But you will be.
[phone clicks]
["What Is Love" playing]