1
00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:04,394
[ Creepy music plays ]

2
00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:13,445
♪♪

3
00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,014
♪ Ghosts and goblins

4
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,535
♪ Coming for ya

5
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:23,196
♪♪

6
00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:24,677
Alright, Porter.
Why don't you go upstairs

7
00:00:24,678 --> 00:00:26,286
and take your diarrhea medicine.

8
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:27,767
I'll call you when
it's time for dinner.

9
00:00:27,768 --> 00:00:30,116
- Hey.
- Alright, Beef Boys.

10
00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:33,417
It's mail time.

11
00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:38,646
[ High-pitched ]
♪ And the frightening thing

12
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,687
Tim, mail's here.

13
00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:44,347
Alright. Coming.

14
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:47,218
That's gonna be a hit.

15
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,791
Oh, looks like you got
a package here, Ben Hur.

16
00:00:49,792 --> 00:00:53,268
Oh, batteries for my butt plug
and my dildos.

17
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,230
Did my, uh, Sticky-Picks
come yet?

18
00:00:55,231 --> 00:00:57,447
Sorry, man, not today.

19
00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,358
Oh, look at this,
a community flier.

20
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:03,153
"Attention Rimwood neighborhood,
this Saturday, open your doors

21
00:01:03,154 --> 00:01:06,239
for the first annual
Open House Block Party."

22
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,028
Oh, that's awesome.
We could set up some appetizers

23
00:01:09,029 --> 00:01:11,325
and talk with the neighbors --
really get to know 'em.

24
00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:13,811
[ Imitates buzzer ]
I think that idea sucks.

25
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:15,252
You know what I think
we should do?

26
00:01:15,253 --> 00:01:18,167
Turn this joint into
a smokin' haunted house.

27
00:01:18,168 --> 00:01:20,035
Who's with me?
- Alright.[ Applause ]

28
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:22,296
Go, baby, go.
- All the way.

29
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:24,039
Can I talk to you
for a second in private?

30
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,390
Ugh, fine.

31
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:29,044
What is it?
[ Sighs ]

32
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:31,175
Tim, you know I'm terrified
of haunted houses.

33
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:33,137
Even as a kid,
I had a spook problem.

34
00:01:33,138 --> 00:01:34,615
Boys would come up
and say, "Boo!"

35
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:37,266
and I would scream and cry,
and they'd say,

36
00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:38,709
"Oh, look at that
big, fat pussy.

37
00:01:38,710 --> 00:01:40,186
You can even handle
a boo."

38
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:42,057
Eric, you got to get
over these fears.

39
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:43,928
Anyway, I'm thinking about
keeping the spook levels

40
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,498
on this haunted house
down to a five.

41
00:01:45,499 --> 00:01:47,366
Any chance we could go
down to four?

42
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,368
I got to keep it at five,
but here's my counter offer.

43
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,414
Youmake your
world-famous crab dip

44
00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:52,975
as a treat for anybody
that makes it through

45
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:54,509
our Beef House of Horrors.

46
00:01:54,510 --> 00:01:56,285
Everyone does love my crab dip,

47
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:57,730
and it would kinda
take the edges off

48
00:01:57,731 --> 00:02:00,945
this spooky haunted house.
Hey, Ron! Good news.

49
00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:03,506
We're turning the Beef house
into a haunted house.

50
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,214
Wouldn't be too hard
to put up some cobwebs,

51
00:02:05,215 --> 00:02:06,739
a couple Goddamn spiders,

52
00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:08,425
a couple of bats,
some shit like that?

53
00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:09,962
We'll hook this place up.

54
00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:16,222
I was supposed to say,
"spook this place up."

55
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:18,876
♪ Beef House

56
00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:20,226
♪♪

57
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:24,447
♪ Beef House [Beef House]

58
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:26,797
♪ Beef

59
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:29,448
Hey, babe.

60
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:32,412
I'm not sure if the Rimwood
Open House Block Party

61
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:34,022
is on your radar,
but I just came

62
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:36,550
from a pretty cool
strategy sesh downstairs,

63
00:02:36,551 --> 00:02:39,377
just the Beef boys,
and Tim imagineered the concept

64
00:02:39,378 --> 00:02:41,595
of a haunted house
through the living room.

65
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,684
Uh, it's not gonna be
too scary, so don't worry,

66
00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:45,595
but we're probably gonna have
to block the entrances

67
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,990
to the stairs
for about three weeks.

68
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:50,781
The big takeaway was Tim gave me
the green light

69
00:02:50,782 --> 00:02:52,819
to make
my world-famous crab dip.

70
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:55,783
It's gonna be a wonderful
block party.

71
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:58,224
Um, hello? Earth to Megan.
[ Exhales sharply ]

72
00:02:58,225 --> 00:03:01,354
You've got to be kidding me.

73
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,444
You can see that I am deep
in research

74
00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:06,225
for tomorrow's
double homicide case,

75
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:09,319
and you are interrupting me
about stupid crab dip!

76
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:15,015
It's not stupid crab dip, Megan.
The Beef Boys love it.

77
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:17,150
Get this through
your thick skull.

78
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:19,941
[ Sighs ] I am working
and paying bills for you

79
00:03:19,942 --> 00:03:22,157
and those dumbasses
to play dress-up.

80
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,808
Just get out of here,
leave me alone, please.

81
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:27,728
Fine, I'll go get
Tim his pills and milk.

82
00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:30,296
At least heneeds me.

83
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,817
Thank God for Tim.

84
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:36,516
Go.

85
00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:41,959
Beef.

86
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,960
Alright.
Looking good.

87
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:46,402
Hey, you know what'll kick
this shit up a notch?

88
00:03:46,403 --> 00:03:48,488
A big-old bucket of blood --

89
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:49,969
smear that shit
all over the place.

90
00:03:49,970 --> 00:03:52,537
Well, wait a minute, now, Ron.
I'd made a promise to Eric

91
00:03:52,538 --> 00:03:54,885
that we wouldn't make this
haunted house too spooky.

92
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,626
Okay, I'll tell you what.

93
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,017
How about...

94
00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:00,410
a little bit of blood?

95
00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:03,111
You got a deal.Alright. Alright.

96
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:05,202
I know it'll take a Goddamn cup.

97
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:10,336
103, 104, 105, 106, darn it.

98
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:13,295
That's just not enough
jumbo lump crab.

99
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,645
Yo, Eric, I need some corn syrup
and some red dye.

100
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,426
You got any of that shit? Yeah, check up
in the cupboard.

101
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,130
Alrighty. While you're up there,

102
00:04:19,131 --> 00:04:21,038
do you see any other cans
of jumbo lump crab?

103
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:23,044
Hmm, no crab,

104
00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:24,654
but, you know,

105
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,215
when your mom lived here,

106
00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:28,310
before the suicide,

107
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:31,099
she kept a ton of that lump
crab meat down in the cellar.

108
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:33,446
She was always prepared,
wasn't she?

109
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:35,137
Yeah, I just wish we had been
prepared for her

110
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:37,667
to take her own life, man.

111
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:40,975
Why did she do it? I don't know, man.

112
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:44,456
At least you still got the Beef Boys.
[ Sighs ] You're right.

113
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:47,108
Hey, love you, man. Love you, too, so much.

114
00:04:47,112 --> 00:04:51,250
We're here for you if you need us, okay?
Thanks. Thank you, buddy.

115
00:04:51,251 --> 00:04:53,677
Need any help
with your crab dip?[ Gasps ]

116
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,990
Tennessee, you scared
the shit outta me.

117
00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:57,911
Hey, can you check in the
basement, see if we have any more

118
00:04:57,912 --> 00:05:00,124
of this jumbo lump crab? Okay.

119
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,075
[ Creepy music plays ]

120
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:04,128
There's a presence below.

121
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:06,827
I can't tell if it is
lump crab meat

122
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:09,264
or something more ominous.

123
00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:11,875
I will go there now. Thanks, buddy.

124
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:16,140
There's the crab.

125
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:20,754
Hmm, what's this?

126
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:26,934
♪♪

127
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,495
A specter.

128
00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:32,156
A real ghost
in the Beef House basement.

129
00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:33,984
Get back in here, specter.

130
00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,935
I have a job for you.

131
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:42,950
I'm gonna kick this
haunted house up a notch.

132
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:45,648
Come on,
you got to be kidding me.

133
00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,868
Hey, what the hell you doing with
that little bit of mayonnaise?

134
00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,437
Check out this new
mayonnaise dispenser

135
00:05:49,438 --> 00:05:50,866
I installed in the fridge.
- Really?

136
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:52,442
Just filled the Goddamn tank
this morning.

137
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:57,530
That's a lot of tube.

138
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,751
Alright. This is gonna help,
Ron, thank you.

139
00:05:59,752 --> 00:06:02,404
Alright.
Here she comes.

140
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:05,965
Wow, that's some
fresh mayonnaise. I'm here to tell you.

141
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:08,323
We got about 25 gallons
of that mayonnaise

142
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:10,325
sitting in the Goddamn fridge
right now.

143
00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:12,326
We can use that for sandwiches
later in the week.

144
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:14,895
Oh, yeah.
Oh! Oh! Oh!

145
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:17,196
Ron, come on!
We're making a mess. Sorry about that.

146
00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:19,472
I got to adjust the pressure
settings on this bitch.

147
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:22,767
Beef.

148
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,122
Tim: Alright.
It's looking good in here.

149
00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:27,342
I think we're holding
at a spook level of five,

150
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,609
just like I promised Eric.

151
00:06:28,610 --> 00:06:30,865
To tell you the truth,
I'm worried about Boro.

152
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:32,908
I'm worried he's gonna get
the shit spooked out of him

153
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:36,220
and splatter all over the place,
thus ruining my hard work.

154
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,481
Hey, hey, he's got
night diarrhea.

155
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:39,789
So be sensitive to that, Ron.
Okay?

156
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,578
I'll make sure he sits on the
potty and empties himself out

157
00:06:41,579 --> 00:06:43,225
before he goes in
this dang haunted house.

158
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:48,276
Beef.

159
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:49,577
Looks good.

160
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:53,020
[ Snorts ]
Smells good.

161
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:55,281
Hey, Eric.
What do you think? Ah!

162
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:57,594
Wow, pretty cool. I didn't know
we were all dressing up, though.

163
00:06:57,595 --> 00:06:59,811
Yeah, I'm going as
the rock star emoji.

164
00:06:59,812 --> 00:07:01,724
What are you gonna to go as?
A big, fat pussy?

165
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:03,155
Oh, wait, you're already
in costume.

166
00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:06,819
Hey, sorry about that.

167
00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:09,036
It was over the line. It's alright.

168
00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:11,257
Crab dip
looks pretty good. Oh, thank you so much.

169
00:07:11,258 --> 00:07:13,036
I haven't quite
taste tested it yet

170
00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,824
'cause I don't want
to waste a bite.

171
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:16,825
Hey, speaking of taste test,
the haunted house is ready

172
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:19,087
if you want to take that
for a spin.

173
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:21,268
Whoa.[ Chuckles ]
You like that?

174
00:07:21,269 --> 00:07:22,615
Yeah, it's pretty spooky, man.

175
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,486
Check this shit out.[ Remote blips ]

176
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,527
[ Garbled singing ]Oh, cool.
Did you make that?

177
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,323
Yeah, it's a little
Robbie Zombie-inspired stuff

178
00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:29,967
I cooked up.
Very cool.

179
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:32,759
Anyway, I got the spook levels
right around five,

180
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,146
but honestly,
I think it's more like four.Ah.

181
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:37,980
So you're gonna be just fine.
I appreciate you toning it down for me.

182
00:07:37,981 --> 00:07:40,979
Okay, here I go. Go for it, buddy.
You got this.

183
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,642
[ As Dracula ] Good evening, sir.
Hello.

184
00:07:45,643 --> 00:07:48,079
Welcome to the
Beef House of Horror.

185
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,246
Here I go.[ Rock music continues ]

186
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:54,429
Wow, pretty cool.

187
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:56,430
Boo!

188
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:59,129
Oh, hey, Lana. Hey, Eric.

189
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,697
Wow.
I'm sexy cat.

190
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:03,658
Would you like some eyeballs?

191
00:08:03,659 --> 00:08:05,307
Eyeballs?
[ Chuckles ]

192
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:06,485
Pretty good, Ben.

193
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,136
Wow, this place
isn't that scary.

194
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:13,010
[ Evil laughter ]

195
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,804
This is pretty adorable --
a nice little graveyard.

196
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:19,236
Hey, Tenny.

197
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:21,367
Do you dare meet
the light before you?

198
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,630
Sure, why not?

199
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,810
Whoa.
What's that?

200
00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:30,117
- Oh, Eric.
- Is that you, Mom?

201
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:33,686
Oh, your mom is the specter.

202
00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:36,727
I've been released.
I am now free.

203
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:38,563
[ Evil laughter ]Oh, my God, Mom.

204
00:08:38,564 --> 00:08:41,215
I have so many questions
for you.

205
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:43,696
Why'd you take
your own life? Well, can you blame me?

206
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:45,387
I mean, how would you feel

207
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:49,049
if -- if you raised
a jobless, childless idiot?

208
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:51,490
Now I got to find a body
that I can enter.

209
00:08:51,491 --> 00:08:53,047
Ah, get me out of here!

210
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,924
[ Screaming ]

211
00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,265
Haunted house canceled!

212
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:58,188
What happened?

213
00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,626
Hey, hey.
Calm down.

214
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,627
What the hell happened in there?

215
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:05,019
Tennessee summoned my dead mom,

216
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:07,942
and she told me that I was
responsible for her suicide.

217
00:09:07,943 --> 00:09:10,505
Tennessee, W-T-F, dude?!

218
00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:13,286
What? I thought
you wanted it scary.

219
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,727
Shit.

220
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:15,948
Flew too close to the sun.

221
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:21,516
I gotta admit, Eric,
this crab dip is hella good.

222
00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:23,517
Thank you, man. I just wish
the whole neighborhood

223
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,738
could've had a bite
of my world-famous crab.

224
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,739
So where do you think
that ghost went anyway?

225
00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:31,091
Ron, could we please not talk
about that right now?

226
00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:32,792
Got a little bit of a tang
to it, though, doesn't it?

227
00:09:32,793 --> 00:09:34,529
Sort of in the back
of the throat?

228
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:39,836
This damn crab is rotten.

229
00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:44,535
That can't be the case, Ron.
This is cannedcrab.

230
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,110
It should last for 100 years.

231
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:52,677
Maybe it's your mayonnaise tube,
Ron. You ever think of that?

232
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,769
Hey, that's not the same tube that
you used in the hot tub, is it?

233
00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:58,817
Only got one damn tube.

234
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:12,480
I saw all of this take place
in my mind.

235
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:15,221
That's why Tennessee don't dip.

236
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,657
[ Sighs heavily ]Are you okay?

237
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:22,453
Just had a weird day.
[ Sighs ]

238
00:10:22,454 --> 00:10:26,227
Now I have a sour stomach
because of a tube mix-up.

239
00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:27,277
It's okay.

240
00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:30,148
I'm here for you.

241
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:33,109
You are?
Well, I love you...

242
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:35,500
[voice altering]
and care for you and cherish you

243
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:37,384
and will always
take care of you.

244
00:10:37,385 --> 00:10:41,025
[ Laughing ]

245
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,510
Mom, are you inside my wife?

246
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:44,817
[ Distorted ]
Hello, son.

247
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:50,387
[ Laughing ]
[ Screaming ]

248
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:52,298
Tim, we have a real ghost!

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[ Screaming ]

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[ Echoing laughter ]

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♪ Ghosts and goblins
coming for ya ♪

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♪ [ Shouting ] Nooooooo

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♪ And the frightening thing