-Who's this one from? -This is from Liza.
Okay, I'll gue-- I'm gonna guess.
Alarm clock.
(laughing) An alarm clock, that would be a great--
Oh, my God!
-Does it spin? -You know what's nice about it?
I don't think we have enough photos of us from the wedding.
It's our monogram!
SINGER: ♪ Blankets on the beach
So I want it in this window,
but also so you can see it from--
the neighbors can see it from--
Like, more to me. More to me.
Back, back.
(gasps) Right there.
There. You're sure?
SINGER: ♪ Now, I don't know where I am ♪
♪ I don't know where I've been ♪
♪ But I know where...
Okay, here's one of the girls. Look at this one.
(laughs)
SINGER: ♪ And so I thought I'd let you know ♪
(laughter)
♪ That these things take forever ♪
Oh, you're allowed to double-dip at our house.
Double-dipper!
SINGER: ♪ But I realize that I need you ♪
What?
♪ And I wondered if I could come home ♪
(laughs)
♪
SINGER: ♪ Remember the time you drove all night ♪
♪
♪ Just to meet me in the morning? ♪
♪
♪ And I thought it was strange ♪
♪ You said everything changed ♪
♪ You felt as if you'd just woke up ♪
♪ And you said
♪ "This is the first day of my life: ♪
♪
♪ "I'm glad I didn't die before I met you" ♪
♪
♪ "But now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you ♪
♪ And I'd probably be happy"
♪
♪ So if you wanna be with me
Paula!
SINGER: ♪ Besides, maybe this time
Paula, Paula, what's wrong? Talk to me, talk to me.
Hey, hey, hey!
(groaning)
I'm gonna call the ambulance!
I'm gonna call the ambulance, okay?
Stay with me, stay with me, stay with me!
-Okay, hold on! -(gasping in pain)
-(gasping) -What is happening?
PARAMEDIC: It looks like an embolism.
MIKE: I'm right here, okay? I'm right here.
We're supposed to have more time!
You hear me? I'm not going anywhere.
(hyperventilating)
(percussive music)
♪
(snaps fingers)
PERSON: (whispering) Life is so sweet.
(mournful music)
(breathes deeply)
♪
I just can't believe that you're back here.
I thought the show would've given you
all kinds of possibilities.
Oh. Yeah, well, I-I had a few things circling.
There was a protein powder that wanted me to promote it
on Instagram, but...
you know, that doesn't get you health insurance.
Your cubicle is exactly as you left it.
I'm sorry things didn't work out with Reggie.
But I guess that's just how these pro football players are.
Apparently.
But your little buddy Justin-- what a talent!
Word on the fan page
is that he's heading to Paris after the show.
I know. I'm so happy for him.
(chuckles) Well, I tell my friends,
"That Gabby is a born HR manager."
(gasps) You know who else I love on the show?
Paula.
Gosh, I hope she comes through all right.
Yeah.
(gasps) Well, you stay here.
I'm gonna go get your paperwork.
SINGER: ♪ Jingle bells
(whispering) Okay.
Hey, come on, come on, come on.
(sighs)
I got to tell you, I, uh-- I would make us breakfast
'cause I'm actually really good at it.
Yes, but we're not quite at the meet-the-kids phase yet.
-No, not quite there, yeah. -That's cool.
I mean, uh, they might have an inkling
that you had some company last night.
There might be a few questions.
-I reckon. -Yes, I think so.
(clattering)
Do you hear that?
Hey, hey!
-Oh, hey! -What are you doing here?
I'm proving myself
by showing up for the family in small ways.
It's a whole-- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-What's he doing here? -Hey, Kev.
JULIA: Wh--you know what?
It's none of your business, Kevin.
It's a little bit of my business.
-Oh, my God, Dad? -KEVIN: It's not none of my--
Hey, girls! I missed you!
Hey, guys, I'm Linus. I work with your mum.
I've heard great things about you.
Whoa, Mom.
-What? -Damn!
Okay, Guy Pearce.
That's enough. Time to go.
What kind of example are you setting
for our children right now?
Oh, that is funny,
coming from a man who went down a porn hole
and then resurfaced in Costa Rica!
It's time for you to go, Kevin! Get out of here.
No, no, no, not until I finish putting up these lights.
See, girls, what I'm doing
is I'm proving myself by showing--Ow!
-JULIA: Oh, my God. -(Sophia and Olivia gasp)
Whoa.
Hey, guys, good morning.
Where are we on Reggie and Gabby?
Still broken up.
Jessica's covering Reggie's away game in Baltimore.
He's still made that we showed Gabby footage of his hookup
outside the bar, so he's not giving us much.
All right, well, look, stay on him.
We're literally hanging our season on those two, okay?
WAYNE: Well, add an amazing group of dancers
overcoming adversity, the loss of one of their own,
and performing an incredible reimagining of Swan Lake
in two days' time.
Yeah, Wayne, America's super fired up about that.
Hey, question, who can tell me what happens in Swan Lake?
Now? You're just asking this now?
It's an archetypal story about Odette,
a young woman cursed by an evil wizard named Rothbart,
who turns her into a swan by day.
The curse can only be lifted
once someone swears true love to her.
So it's like Shrek only not funny?
I think the most important issue
is, how do we commemorate Paula?
We minimize her.
Wh--she was a huge part of the show.
-What does that even mean? -We have to do something.
Guys, people tune into reality shows to be sad about someone
getting broken up with in a jacuzzi,
not to be sad about a woman who was nice to everyone
and finally found love but died of cancer way too young,
because that is a reminder that life is crushingly unfair,
which is exactly, exactly what people tune into these shows
to forget about!
Okay?
So we minimize.
Hey, do you remember when my last tetanus shot was?
It's not my job to remember your shots anymore.
Hmm.
It was ten years ago. You need another one.
What do you want?
You, my wife, my family.
Okay, are you insane or just stupid, Kevin?
Do you have any idea how hard this has been on your kids?
-Liv especially? -I know.
I don't really think that you do.
Well, what's--what's happening with Olivia?
She's just--she's acting out. She--
And you showing up like this is confusing.
Look, I'm trying to do the work.
Work! What work is that?
What, making a hard time even harder?
Do you even know that--that my performance is coming up?
(sighs)
Do you know that a good friend of mine passed away?
Paula?
Oh, Jules, I-I'm sorry.
Yeah, it was, uh...
(somber music)
It was horrible.
And the appropriate response would have been
a nice, unobtrusive text from you, Kevin.
You should go. This needs stitches.
♪
Reggie, what's on your mind
as you prepare for your game against Baltimore tomorrow?
My thoughts and prayers go out to Mike
and everyone at The Big Leap.
Um, it's just a--
you know, it's just a sad time.
I won't be able to make it to Swan Lake,
but I know the cast will make Paula proud.
As far as the game goes, you know, I'm locked in.
I'm ready to go.
Anything you want to say about the Gabby situation?
There would be no Gabby situation
had you not shown her that video out of context.
Reggie, you know we had to show her the footage.
It's our job.
Ah, of course, you were just doing your job.
Let me do mine.
(tense music)
Um...hey!
How'd it go?
You know, my cubicle's just like I left it.
(chuckles)
Gabby, do not go back to that job.
I've got a kid.
I have got bills to pay.
Some people get things, and other people don't.
I got to be in the show.
It was a wonderful four-month vacation from my life,
and maybe that's enough.
Gabby, that is not what happened.
You didn't get to be in the show.
You came to the bowling alley, you made a big speech,
and then we auditioned together.
I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for you.
Actually, I do-- the bowling alley.
(laughs)
Okay, you didn't get to be the White Swan.
You said you wanted it, and you fought for it.
Find the next move.
Say you want it.
(sentimental piano music)
We have a lot to do, people.
Can we please continue marking till the end of the show?
♪
GABBY: So then I leap to my death,
because apparently that's what a woman has to do
after a romantic disappointment.
WAYNE: Gabby, do you've a question
about your character's motivation?
Yeah, why can't Odette, like, live?
Why can't she watch When Harry Met Sally,
eat a few sleeves of Girl Scout cookies,
get over it, and go to medical school?
-(laughter) -JUSTIN: And then
Prince Siegfried kills himself, too?
I mean, what message are we sending?
-Oh, my God. -While we're on the subject,
why are the queens so obsessed with marrying off their son?
Why can't they just, you know,
worry about their own happiness?
-BOTH: Period. -GABBY: Absolutely.
And what country are we queens of?
Do we even have names,
or are we just Queen Number One and Queen Number Two?
Oh, I'm Queen Number One
Uh, why is the Black Swan so-o-o-o terrible?
I mean, what if what he and the Prince had was real?
-I think it was real. -Yes!
-It's still real, Simon. -You are going to Europe!
And I have no idea where we stand!
As long as we're giving notes,
this whole thing is starting to feel a little homophobic.
GABBY: Yeah, all of Siegfried's suitors
are women, but he's seduced by a man
who we're calling evil.
SIMON: Yeah, I am telling you right now,
GLAAD is going to be pissed.
And so am I.
Can't my suitors be all genders?
Oh, okay, is that where this is going?
WAYNE: Dancers!
We are all mourning Paula.
And, clearly, it has brought up emotions!
Okay, let's just take five, everyone!
-Yeah. -Except you, Gabby.
-Simon, that was-- -No!
(steady music)
♪
I'm sorry. I didn't...
mean to touch off a whole thing.
-My life is kind of-- -(sighs)
Okay, maybe you're right.
I am?
A woman just died, Gabby,
so maybe no one needs to fling themselves off a cliff
at the end of this show.
That means the entire last scene
needs to be reconceived in less than two days.
And since you have so many opinions on the matter,
maybe you can...
Help me with the choreography.
Wow, I-I...
I mean, I would--I'd love to.
I'd be honored.
JUSTIN: Sounds like you'd both be doing a job
that might come with money and show credit.
But what do I know? Just the Prince, so...
Right.
Credit, good point.
I request an assistant choreographer credit.
-Oh, you do? -Yes.
And you won't do it unless you get it?
(tense music)
Correct.
And you're prepared to walk away?
(sighs softly)
I am.
♪
Okay.
(gentle sentimental music)
♪
It's time to go, buddy.
-I'm good, guys, thanks. -JOEL: Okay, fair enough.
Hey, come here. Hug? Huh?
-Let's get a hug in. -Come on, let's get a hug in.
JOEL: Yeah.
-There you go. -There you are.
That's nice.
Yeah, that's a-- that's a lot of cat.
Oh, yeah, uh-huh.
Oh, and here it is!
Ah!
All right, here we go!
-I got the door! -MIKE: Hey!
-It's for your own good! -MIKE: No, I said no!
-(door opens) -Put me down! I said no!
ANTHONY: Come on.
(door closes)
I feel like I'm--just got kidnapped here.
Hi, Mike!
WAYNE: We asked your friends to bring you here
because we have a Mike-sized hole
in our production.
-Hi, buddy. -Love you, Mike.
-Welcome back. -Love you guys.
Thanks.
We'd be honored if you'd dance with us.
(sighs)
I don't want to let you guys down,
but I don't think I can do that.
Well...
she knew you'd say that.
(light music)
What?
PAULA: Hi, Mike!
(laughs)
I shot this while you were doing the Macarena.
-(laughs) -How did she--
Wha--when did this--
You are Miriam are super into it.
(laughs)
If you're watching this, I'm gone.
And I miss you.
(sighs) And I love you.
(dance music playing faintly)
Mm, but, also, it means that you're thinking
of dropping out of the show!
What are you doing?
I don't know. You--you're not here and--
You got to do it, babe. Finish for both of us.
I want you on that stage.
Do not make me come haunt you.
(both laugh)
Oh, the Macarena's over.
I got to go.
I love you.
(smooches)
Mm.
So what do you think, Mike? Will you come dance with us?
(scoffs)
Yeah.
Wonderful.
Paula.
Jolly Old St. Nicholas.
Zach, you're, uh-- you're in town early.
And I come bearing gifts.
-Let's walk. -Yep.
ANNOUNCER: It's The Big Leap finale,
and someone...
will...
be...
going....
home.
Wait for it.
(dramatic music)
-(gunshot) -(swan cries)
Why am I just hearing about this now?
-The elimination? -Yeah.
It's great.
We're two days out from the finale.
Buddy, I had to do something. You let Reggie get away.
The only star of the show!
Come on, are you getting soft?
Oh, come on, what are you talking about?
Okay, well, you officiated that wedding.
Okay, and then Paula bails on the show.
Zach, she died, man!
Right, right, right, right, may her memory be a blessing.
-Look, do this finale. -Mm-hmm.
There's a big opportunity for you.
Got a new piece of IP.
Okay? Little beach read.
Maybe you've heard of it...
The Holy Bible. Got the rights.
(laughs) What are you gonna do--
America's Next Top Jesus?
Come on.
That's a great idea, and you could run it...
unless you have a problem with the elimination.
(sighs) No, I mean, no--no problem.
You know, I think it'll juice the drama, though,
if--if we drop it on the cast in that big theater tomorrow.
(gasps, imitates explosion)
-Now we're talking! -Yeah.
I'm gonna get you the coverage on the Bible.
-Okay. -Skim it at least.
NICK: The network has asked, and I've agreed,
we're gonna eliminate one of our cast members.
They want to send one of them home?
And you're okay with that?
Look, I know it's ugly, but it's good TV.
How can you still think we're here to make something ugly?
You know, I don't have time for this.
I have to change the whole show,
including creating a new duet for a man
whose wife just died.
I don't like to give up on people,
but in this moment, you are very disappointing, Nick.
(serious music)
(door slams)
♪
So here we are at the Prince's party.
As demanded, we have suitors of all genders.
-Now what? -So I feel like,
what if the suitors all seduced the Prince
in the dance style that they know best?
So what if Charlie does something contemporary?
Mm-hmm.
Yes, Justin, join in.
(Tchaikovsky's "Swan Theme")
♪
All right, Travell vogues.
Mm-hmm.
♪
GABBY: Tamra taps.
♪
Come on, catch the beat, catch the beat.
Teach him, mm-hmm.
And Brittney brings the fire!
One, two...
swa, swa, boom, boom!
Ca, ca, do, do, dip me!
-Dip! And dip again! -GABBY: Yes.
-Rah! -Maybe bring it down 40%.
It only goes up.
Right, but something like that.
Good. I can work with that.
Moving on!
All right, um, so let's go from the top.
♪
-Um... -(music stops)
I'm sorry, Mindy. I can't do this.
Uh, you're wonderful.
Really, I'm just, uh...
I don't want to do this with anybody but Paula, you know?
I just feel so bad for you, Mike.
-Oh, thank you, thank you. -Oh, Mike.
Believe it or not...
she knew you'd say that, too.
(scoffs) Come on, again?
PAULA: Hi, me again.
Listen, I know you think no one can replace me.
And it's kind of true.
But I trust Wayne and Monica,
and to an extent Nick,
to find you a new dance partner.
(laughs)
You're calling me from the conga line.
I'll be right there!
(laughs)
I love you. Bye!
(soft music)
♪
Am I really that predictable?
May we all be lucky enough to find someone
who knows us so well.
(sighs)
Okay, all I'm saying is, as a veteran of #ShipLife,
the whole long-distance thing is fraught.
Okay, I hear you.
But I am gonna have some time off.
I'll come here. You'll go to Paris.
-(groans) -And we'll make it work.
And you know why?
Why?
'Cause there are Starbursts at crafty.
Yes, there are.
Oh, no.
What?
Mommy's here.
How do you even know that's hers?
Her hair extensions are sourced from a single Ukrainian orphan,
and you can only get them off the dark web.
Okay, I have to find Brittney. Brittney!
Mommy's here! Mommy's here!
Nick, Mommy's in the building!
I repeat, Mommy is in the building!
Look alive, everybody!
Get eyes on her.
And then get security and a camera.
Actually, get a camera first and then worry about security.
Mommy is in the building.
Make sure not to look her in the eyes, do you hear me?
I knew I'd find you in the kitchen.
Looks like you've been hitting the snack table pretty hard.
It's just ginger ale. I'm never hungry, actually.
Simon had a burger!
I know you're probably upset because you got demoted,
but Mommy has a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity
for both of us.
You might call it an "opportunicorn."
Okay, what is it?
A new dating show in Florida.
Check it out.
Whore-lando?
Mommy, no.
Honey, this is gonna grow the Lovewell brand.
And it starts right after Swan Lake.
Wait, wait, wait, so we try to date
the same people?
That seems kind of gross.
Oh, honey, I'll let you win a few.
Besides, don't you want to spend some time together
after what your brother did to us?
SIMON: Brittney?
Brittney!
Speak of the devil...
Mommy.
What are you doing here?
Nothing that concerns you.
I hear Justin's headed off to Paris,
so I'll just wait for your tearful phone call.
Meanwhile, Brittney, wheels up to Whore-lando
right after your little dance recital.
But...
Did you get that,
or you want to take it again from Simon's entrance?
-No, we're good, thanks. -Okay.
-Miss me? -I missed you.
Whore-lando?
That's a catchy title. What's the premise?
It's a mother-daughter dating show.
Gross.
(punchy music)
(gasps) Model.
(screams)
-SIMON: It's me! -(cheering, laughter)
(camera shutter clicks)
-Not bad. -Okay.
JUSTIN: Look at you.
GABBY: Oh, um, hair's beautiful.
Alan, why is this so front and center?
-ALAN: Um, I... -Hmm?
I want this moved, I want it moved now.
-ALAN: Oh, okay. -Nick!
What is wrong with you?
This--
♪
(sighs)
(breathing shakily)
Ooh. (groans)
Are you all right?
Hey, no big deal, I just...
I think I'm having a heart attack.
Well, that would require having a heart.
If word gets out...
I'm having a heart attack, I might as well die
because my career sure as hell will.
I think this is a panic attack.
Oh, that's even worse.
I can't--no, I can't.
They guy who ran Celebrity Ding Dong Ditch--
he had a panic attack,
and now the only thing he's running is his dishwasher
from his crappy apartment in Pomona.
This can't be-- it can't be a panic attack.
-Just take some deep breaths. -Breathing's stupid.
Do the thing where you yell at me,
and then you call me a stupid bitch at the end.
You're not dying! You're grieving!
You're sad about Paula,
and you're afraid of wasting your life
being a snake in the grass.
(sighs)
You stupid bitch.
Uh-huh.
(breathes deeply)
Hey, thanks.
Sometimes things happen that require us to stop
and reflect and feel.
-Mm-hmm. -Nick...
I know.
-Paula died. -(exhales deeply)
And no one is okay, including you.
It seems to me that you can either make something beautiful
-in her honor... -Mm-hmm.
Or continue to produce garbage television
to chase ratings.
♪
Ah.
(exhales deeply)
(upbeat music)
(indistinct chatter)
Oh, this is great. We should blindfold them.
(gasps) That's a great show!
Mock firing squad. Pew pew!
Cue Monica and Wayne.
WAYNE: Dancers, we are thrilled
to return to this historic theater
to begin rehearsing our beautiful finale.
(cheers and applause)
These children are from the Pulver Center,
where Paula was a donor and volunteer
and Travell taught dance.
We were going to do a tribute dance in her honor,
but, unfortunately,
some grim business has been put before us.
One of you will be going home.
(dramatic music playing)
And that person is...
(imitating drumroll)
(suspenseful music playing)
(indistinct whispering)
That person is...
It's me, actually.
I'm going home.
ZACH: Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
I'm boycotting.
After all we've been through, and you want to fire someone?
Nope, I'm not doing it, I'm out of here.
Hey, hey, who's with me?
-I'm with you! I am going! -ZACH: No, no, no.
-Yes! -ZACH: No, no, no, no.
-Me too. -Happily.
-Goodbye. -Not what we signed up for.
ZACH: You cannot do this!
You--you signed a contract!
Each and every one of you is contractually obligated
to dance up there.
If you walk out right now, I will destroy you!
Hello, children.
Come on, dancers, let's go.
-We're out of here. -Hmm!
(upbeat music)
-Reggie! -(reporters clamoring)
How you feeling about the game?
Um, you know, I'm never happy when we take an L,
but, uh, you know, hats off to the Ravens.
They're a good team with a lot of offense.
-Reggie! -(reporters clamoring)
Uh, Reggie, this isn't a question about the game,
but about the games plural
that you've been playing with Gabby's heart!
-What? -REPORTER: I was waiting
all season for you two to get together.
And it finally happened,
then you go kiss some rando at the club!
What the hell, man?
She kissed me, and I pulled away!
I mean, does that not matter to anyone?
Oh, bullcrap, don't hand me that!
A kiss is a kiss, man.
-You engaged. -100%.
Let's roll the tape! We can cue it up right now.
No, do not cue up the tape!
Did it ever occur to you
that trust might be difficult for Gabby?
-Hmm, hmm? -Yeah!
She is a special, special person, and--
-and she deserves better! -Is he crying?
REPORTER: So what's your plan to get her back?
You do want her back, right?
Yeah, o-of course I-I want her back.
I mean, I've tried everything.
I-I've called her. I've text.
I've sent flowers. I tried to apologize.
REPORTER: So you broke her heart, and she doesn't
immediately want to take your stupid phone calls,
and what, are you just gonna quit?
-You a quitter? -REPORTER 2: He's a quitter!
A quitter!
No.
No, I'm not a quitter.
And I'm gonna prove it to y'all.
Also, y'all watch way too much TV.
-You people are crazy. -(reporters shout)
Hey, look, I need to talk to you.
-Come on. -Yeah, yeah.
New deal, new deal. Okay, let's follow.
-NICK: Yes. -GABBY: Yes.
Bravo, bravo, bravo.
MONICA: I'm impressed.
Tell me you have a plan.
-Absolutely, 100%, I got-- -(phone ringing)
-Hey! -Oh, I got to take this.
Talk to me, Jessica.
JESSICA: Hey, I'm here with Reggie.
Look, I want to win Gabby back, man.
I want to make, like, a grand gesture.
-On the show. -Great!
He wants to be in Swan Lake again.
It's like, of course Gabby has trust issues.
And I get that now.
I-I want to show her that I care about what she cares about
even if it's boring and embarrassing.
MONICA: (whispering) Hey, Nick, do you mind if we--
-Yeah, yeah, whatever, take it. -MONICA: Yes!
REGGIE: So what do you say, Nick?
I say it's a great idea, man, yeah.
Jess, where are you right now? You at the airport?
All the flights are booked for the holidays.
We have to drive--it's gonna be tight, but we can make it.
Well, stop talking and start driving, all right?
Hey, but keep the circle tight.
Gabby cannot know!
Yes!
I'm sorry, did you say Olivia?
What happened?
Okay, I will be there as soon as I can, thank you.
I'm so sorry, you guys, I have got to go.
There's been an incident at school.
Uh, it is...
quite striking.
I would characterize it as art.
I would characterize it as vandalism!
Oh, of course that's how you'd see it.
Sweetheart, you're just making things worse, so I would--
This is a protest against the school's sexist
body-shaming dress code.
Do you even see the angel flying out of the womb?
Yes, honey, we all see the angel
flying out of the lady's vagina.
Everything beautiful about humanity comes from a woman.
That's why I painted the angel.
Also, I'm really good at painting angels.
-You are. -PRINCIPAL WEAVER: Maintenance
can't cover it up until next week.
That's a real problem.
-It is. -SOPHIA: Hey, guys.
Saw you out here.
Oh, my God, Liv!
Awesome!
I thought you were a nerd, but you're a boss bitch!
JULIA: Okay, would you mind
if we had a second, little family meeting?
-Fine, but I need a solution. -JULIA: Okay.
-Love the show. -Thanks.
I'm sorry, are you not supposed to be in class, young lady?
No, it's just Spanish, so I bailed.
I'm failing anyways. Lo siento.
Aren't you supposed to be at rehearsal?
Yes, I am, but your sister painted a giant vagina
on the side of a building, so here I am.
What do you mean you're failing Spanish?
-No-- -That's not acceptable.
Okay, hold on, hold on.
Sophia, that is not okay!
Let me go talk to the principal
and see if I can get Olivia out of this.
Thank you.
Wha-- (sighs)
(somber music)
♪
Are you sad about Paula?
Yeah.
I'm really sad.
Us too.
♪
Thanks, Kylie.
(all slurping)
NICK: Here's a pitch--
Paula loved those kids.
We love Paula, ergo, they're going in the show.
Put 'em in Mike's dance.
-That's inspired and lovely. -Aw.
But don't tell Mike.
Gabby, children don't respond to me.
Can you whip something up?
I want it uplifting.
Not a dry eye in the house, okay?
-What? I'm still a producer. -GABBY: You got it.
Hey, ballerinas!
You want to learn a dance?
ALL: Yeah!
All right, come on, let's go!
(upbeat music)
♪
JESSICA: Ooh, ride's almost here.
How we doing on the dance?
Let me worry about Party Guest Number Nine.
You have any idea how many plays you got to learn
to be in the NFL? Hundreds.
-Got the choreo. -(horn honks)
Your chariot has arrived, milady.
Oh, yeah, this guy seems real reliable.
Okay, pile in. Let's go.
REGGIE: Need to move your seat up.
-Back in business, baby! -PERSON: Okay.
This guy's on my fantasy team.
Mommy, this seems like a really great opportunity,
but I'm gonna have to respectfully decline.
Whore-lando is not right for me at this time.
And cut. Good, really good.
-Okay, just a little note... -Mm-hmm.
I can still smell the fear.
Oh, my God, I feel sick.
Oh, she's gonna be so mad.
You have to stand up to her, babe.
It's easy for you to say.
You have Justin now. I'm all alone.
Yeah, well, he's going off to Paris,
so who knows what's gonna happen?
Probably cheat on you and dump you.
-That's what I would do. -I know, right?
BRITTNEY: I hate to say it,
but maybe you should break up with him
before he can break up with you.
(mellow music)
♪
OLIVIA: Hey, Mom, you got a picture
of this before we started painting, right?
Oh, yeah.
(sighs) Hey.
I feel like we should talk.
Is there a connection
between my horrible midlife crisis and this?
This is not about your porn addiction, Dad.
This is about protesting archaic school rules.
But also, what the hell?
Yeah, Dad, what the hell?
(sighs)
All right, I--
I was unhappy
and lonely, and your mom and I were drifting.
And, you know, instead of really digging in
and doing something about it,
I got lost in something that wasn't real.
And then when I realized that none of it was real,
I went crazy.
I-I panicked, and I didn't know who I was,
and I felt like I needed to do something extreme.
Yeah, well, you sure did that, didn't you?
I'm sorry.
I let all of you down.
But I'm here.
And I'm just gonna keep showing up,
and you guys can decide if you want to forgive me.
No promises.
Me neither.
You know, your mom was in the same boat.
She found a way to reconnect with something she loves.
I'm so proud of her.
Thank you.
You have a rehearsal to get to.
Girls, think we can finish up here?
Yeah. Go, Mom.
Are you sure?
-SOPHIA: Yes. -KEVIN: Kick ass, Jules.
-OLIVIA: We love you. -Okay.
Thank you, guys.
-You... -Mwah.
-I love you guys. -OLIVIA AND SOPHIA: Love you.
I--
All right, Sophia, let's conjugate some verbs.
SOPHIA: What?
You don't get to fail Spanish, buddy, sorry.
All right, let's go. Estar...
(both speaking Spanish)
I talked to Legal, and they can eat you alive.
Nevertheless, here we are.
But there's no need for this to get nasty.
In fact, I have a fantastic surprise for you
that's gonna make you very happy.
You said that exact same thing to me last year on my birthday,
and I waited around the house all day like an idiot.
You hung me out to dry on Atlantis!
I was feeling vengeful, okay? I was--I'm sorry.
What's the surprise?
Give me your word that we're not kicking
anyone off the show, and I'll tell you.
You know me, Zach. You know me.
Fine--but if this finale is not a huge hit,
then this is your swan song...
which would have been an amazing title
if we were doing an elimination show.
You won't be sorry, buddy.
What do you mean you don't have an ending?
We're still working on it.
Guys, the show is in less than 24 hours,
and I'm-- I'm way out on a limb here.
Are you having another panic attack?
Are you having panic attacks?
No. Guys, careers are on the line here,
and you guys are just farting around.
WAYNE: This is a creative process.
There is no farting around.
What if Odette loves herself?
Oh, my God. I need some air.
But seriously, y'all need to stop farting around.
Gabby, now is not the time for this.
Monica, come up here.
Just come on.
What are we staring at?
And if you say, "an imaginary lake,"
I'm gonna throw you off this ledge.
Okay, Odette can't break the curse until some prince
or whoever declares true love.
But then he lets her down, and she has to jump to her death
to lift the curse for everybody else.
But let's be honest, my problem's won't go away
if Reggie loves me or someone comes to save me
from my dead-end job.
Maybe Odette can save herself
by loving herself.
Maybe that's what Odette learns at the climax of the ballet.
(Tchaikovsky's "Swan Theme")
♪
Oh, my God.
So she says goodbye to Siegfried.
She runs up the precipice. She's tormented.
She looks back one last time...
and then she looks down at the lake...
sees her reflection.
The floor will be much shinier on the day, obviously.
Okay.
She's like, "Well, screw that.
"I'm glorious, radiant,
sacred, complete."
I mean, in real life, it's impossible, but--
but why can't Odette do it?
When you auditioned for this show,
I thought you were just a dreary little office drone.
Okay.
But now I see how badly I misjudged you...
because you might be a genius.
Thank you.
But we are so screwed time-wise,
so let's get to work right now, okay?
(upbeat music)
There she is. There's my baby girl.
Mommy, what are you doing here?
Well, I thought I'd take you out
for a little late-night snack.
I shouldn't have made that crack about your eating.
I'm sorry.
Oh, uh, thank you.
I just thought maybe we could, you know,
we could catch up and talk about this next opportunity.
Want to have a girls' cheat night?
Maybe share some nachos and Chardonnay?
-I mean, that sounds great. -Doesn't it?
-Extra cheese. -Wait, Mommy, no.
Excuse me?
I appreciate the invitation,
but I really need to get home and get some rest
before the show tomorrow.
And also...
um, Whore-lando is not right for me,
and I don't want to do it.
Honey, we just talked about this.
We both decided that this is a great opportunity for us.
Right, for you.
But, you know, uh, for me,
it's...a step back.
I see. I'm holding you back.
No, that's not what I meant--
No, message received, loud and clear.
After all of the recitals and the competitions,
talking you through the stage fright and the tears...
So much for Lovewells against the world, right?
Mommy.
And believe you me, baby girl,
the world is always against the Lovewells.
That is the curse that I have been protecting you from
for your whole life.
But no more.
So tomorrow when you look out into that crowd
and you have that little pit in your stomach,
don't look for me to cheer you on.
Don't look for Mommy to save you from this cursed world,
because I certainly don't want to hold you back!
(voice breaking) It's not like that, Mommy.
(sobs) Wait, wait, wait. Mommy, Mommy, come back.
(sobbing) Mommy!
(heartfelt music)
(panting)
Are you, like, rehearsing your solo or something?
No. I'm just nervous.
About tomorrow?
The show, you, me,
Whore-lando, all of it-- all the future.
Whore-lando and the future? That's a lot.
Yeah, I know. That's why I can't sleep.
(soft music)
Hey, come on.
-What? -Come on.
Just listen to me.
♪
I don't even know if I want to go to Paris.
I'm just excited about right now.
You, me... the show.
Okay, well, first of all, don't say that
because I can't be with someone
who doesn't want to go to Paris, so you are going.
SINGER: ♪ We will never be the same
♪ The more you change, the less you feel ♪
♪
We've been on this crazy journey together, and...
I'm so excited to finally dance with you,
but I just can't believe it's gonna end.
It's not gonna end.
You're gonna crush it tomorrow.
So will you.
Yeah, obviously.
(chuckles)
So let's just... enjoy tomorrow.
And tonight.
SINGER: ♪ Tonight
♪ Tonight, so bright
♪
(thunder rumbles)
This tie's stupid, huh?
I mean, all ties are stupid. Who invented ties?
-I just don't-- -What's going on, Dad?
Come on, I don't want to bore you with grown-up problems.
(sighs) Thank you.
But I'm not really sure where things are headed with Monica.
You know, maybe somewhere,
or maybe this is the end of the line.
Plus, I kind of have been lying to my boss
about a pretty major situation,
and, lately, I've been questioning everything.
You know, I don't know, maybe I'm losing my edge.
I think it might have something to do with death.
You know? Which--
So, anyway...
there's a lot riding on tonight for your dad.
-(chuckles) -Wow. That is a lot.
-Yeah. -Thank God I'm here.
Thank God you're here.
Come on.
Whew.
SINGER: ♪ Just like a hole you cannot mend ♪
(mellow guitar music)
♪ Just like a story without end ♪
♪
♪ I'm neither here, I'm neither there ♪
♪ Got stuck, and now I'm lost ♪
♪
Don't tell me.
She saved the best for last.
♪
Hi, Mike.
This is it.
I assume it's just before curtain.
Listen, baby...
all our friends, everyone on that show,
they're helping us go through something so hard.
So, even if you don't want to go out there tonight,
do it for them.
Do it for me.
Most important, do it for you.
Be a part of something.
And then keep being a part of more things.
I wish I had something more profound to say.
But that's all I got. (laughs)
Just keep doing stuff with people,
'cause that's what life is, my beautiful husband.
Break a leg.
I love you so, so much.
And I want you to dance like I'm watching...
'cause I am.
SINGER: ♪ Just like a hill you have to climb ♪
♪
♪ Just like the fear you left behind ♪
♪
Shall we go in?
Yeah.
♪
-(Gabby laughs) -ALLY: So do you feel good?
Oh, I mean, I'm nervous.
Hi.
Uh, everything was last minute.
Hopefully it all comes together.
I mean, I'm just excited. That's what I'm feeling.
Do you wish Reggie was here?
Come on, Ally, you know I-I don't want to talk about that.
Um, sorry.
I've been waiting, um, literally years
for a night like tonight, and it's finally here,
so it's pretty cool.
So how you ladies feeling?
-Girl, I'm nervous. -JULIA: You know what?
For the first time in months, I, uh--
I actually feel good.
Okay, and there we are.
Let's do this.
Well, I'm no longer a princess.
Yeah, but now you're a queen.
Yes, we are.
-(both laugh) -Get over here.
So, anyway, we just wanted to sneak back here
and say we're so excited for you to join us in Paris.
Thank you so much.
We are obsessed with you.
We're gonna have so much fun.
Maybe dance a little bit, too.
Yeah, sure. (laughs)
Break a leg tonight. A bientôt.
Thank you.
This isn't gonna work. I want to end it.
-Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christ-- -Not now, Alan.
-One second, please. -Uh, okay, um...
Wayne wants everybody onstage in about five minutes.
I'll just find another spot for this.
Are you serious?
Tell me you're not doing this right before the show.
I'm sorry.
-I know how this ends, and-- -Oh, my...
And I'd rather have my pain now.
(voice breaking) I'm sorry. I'll see you out there.
(serious music)
Why?
♪
Oh, God. (gags)
(retching, coughing)
-Not again. -(sighs)
Are you okay?
Mommy didn't come.
What about you?
Definitely not okay.
WAYNE: (claps hands) Dancers, gather up.
(claps hands)
PERSON: Okay.
Man, this is crazy.
A few months ago, I didn't even know you.
Now our cycles are synced.
♪
Oh, God.
WAYNE: How are we feeling?
All right, folks, we are 12 minutes from curtain.
Nick, have you read your texts?
No, I'm a little busy. What is it?
-(clears throat) -Oh, you're kidding me.
Jessica said there was a huge accident on the highway,
and it looks like Reggie's not gonna get here on time.
Text her back, tell her to do whatever she has to.
-Get him here. -Yeah, I'll do it.
You hear me?
Yes, I hear you, loud and clear.
Oh, my God. (sighs)
Thank you, honey.
Here we are. Do you hear them out there?
After all those months of hard work,
we have an audience.
(cheers and applause)
Now, I know you are nervous. I most certainly am.
But I hope that you are proud of yourselves...
proud of the accomplishments you have made,
the friendships you have forged,
the moments of beauty...
you've created and shared...
the losses and triumphs you have experienced
along the way.
Dancers, get excited!
(cheers and applause)
Tonight is your night!
No.
And I would like to dedicate this performance
to our dear Paula.
Paula, this one is for you.
ALL: For Paula.
Nice. (sighs)
(electricity crackles)
Oh, God. What now?
(electricity crackles)
WAYNE: Everyone, stay calm. It's fine. It's fine.
Babe?
I thought you wanted me to do the show?
Guys, I lost picture. Talk to me.
Dad, what's happening?
We're ten minutes to curtain. Where's my power?
We're trying to locate the problem.
Well, let's locate faster, please.
Street's still lit. It's probably not a grid issue.
Really? You need to get a special license
to figure that out?
Come on, I need the power back.
I've found that sarcasm isn't really helpful
-in times of crisis. -(breathing heavily)
Dad, you okay?
-Uh-huh. -Dad...
(dramatic music)