(whistle blows)
You better not be throwing that football in my house.
And take that helmet off before you come to dinner.
Did you finish your "When I grow up" project?
-Yes, ma'am. -Reggie, can't you think of
anything else you want to be, other than a football player?
What about a doctor?
Nobody likes the doctor.
Everyone loves football!
I want to be a football player,
live in a mansion, and everyone's gonna love me.
Well, everybody in this house already loves you.
(smooches, laughs)
-Daddy! -Hey!
I forgot our anniversary.
Luckily, I got celebration enough for both of us.
Oh, no! These are for me.
This is for you.
(gasps)
Now, the point of working hard, son,
is to spoil the ones you love.
Can I look now?
Okay, okay, okay. Now.
Reggie, you didn't have to do this.
The hell he didn't!
After how much time I spent at this boy games?
Thank you, son.
I can't wait to see where my recliner's gonna go.
-(all chuckle) -Come over here.
Oh, I got a new house! (laughs)
(all hollering)
(bright, sultry music)
♪
SINGER: ♪ I already feel
♪ Like doing it again
♪ Honey
♪ 'Cause once you know, then you know ♪
♪ And you don't want to go
♪ Back to where it is
♪ That you come from, yeah
♪ I just want to stay high
♪ With you
You gonna be okay today?
After everything that happened
on the show last night?
Honestly, until you mentioned it,
I hadn't thought about it at all,
so thank you. (chuckles)
(sighs) I should go.
Want to be home when Sam wakes up.
See you at the studio later?
Well, actually, um,
I have a breakfast meeting with my old tight end coach.
Gonna try to see if there's a chance,
you know, for me to get back on the team.
What? That's amazing.
Well, maybe. And hopefully, you know.
(sighs)
I gotta jump in the shower,
but let me make you dinner tonight?
(gentle music)
♪
(chuckles)
Kick ass today.
-Yeah, you too. -Oh, I will.
(chuckles)
(sighs)
Gabby?
Gabby, I'm so sorry about last night
and if what I said upset you at all, okay?
I did not mean to expose your shame on TV.
Not that you should be ashamed.
You were completely taken advantage of,
just like I was taken advantage of
by the producers and my mother,
but in a less molest-y way.
Brittney!
I am not thinking about yesterday.
I am thinking about today.
I just want to move forward.
Great, me too.
So you're not gonna, like, sub-tweet me, right?
Or put acid in my foundation?
(clapping rhythmically)
Roll away with a half sashay.
Ladies in.
Men sashay and then promenade.
Just keep an open mind. It's fun.
My parents love square dancing.
You two? You're both fired.
I need to talk to you right now.
Thank you.
Dante, Alan, don't know what to tell you.
Maybe go apply to grad school, huh?
Get out of here.
I failed out of grad school twice.
He fired me twice yesterday.
Ugh.
I want her off the show and I want her part.
I like this energy.
We're talking about Brittney, right?
Hey, I'm sorry about what happened last night.
-You okay? -Not remotely okay.
Sam's gonna go to school today, and kids are gonna joke about
his child molester father.
She messed with my kid.
So again, I want her off the show.
I want revenge.
Mm-mm! I love revenge-Gabby.
What did you have in mind?
I want to challenge her for her part.
See, that's tricky though, because if I let you do that,
then I gotta let everyone--
Not if you have to win a contest first.
The prize is a challenge ticket.
I have a whole plan, it's gonna be great TV,
and at the end of it, Brittney's going down.
First, revenge-Gabby, then premeditated murder-Gabby.
Whoo, I got goosebumps!
This is great. Do me a favor though.
If you're actually going to kill her,
make sure there's a camera there, huh?
I can't tell if you're joking or not.
Look in my eyes. I gotta get my steps in.
Come with me. Tell me your plan.
-(bell dings) -Hell!
Whatever happened to food being "a sacred offering"
for our bodily temple?
Cheat days are important,
so long as my players don't see 'em.
You do realize I'm still technically a player, right?
Barely.
Hey, come on, man. I know I messed up.
Hey, I would've suspended me too, okay?
But I've cleaned up, got my head on straight.
I'm ready to play again. Come on.
I done known you since you were in college,
so I'ma be real.
All that foolishness you was into?
That was management's excuse.
Your playing? That was the problem.
My playing? Man, I was legendary.
You're not 22 anymore.
We got rookies putting up better numbers than you
-last season. -Man, please!
Some shiny new kid don't know the game like I do.
(scoffs)
I need a chance here.
That's all I'm asking you for, Treyson.
Before I go to bat for you...
I gotta see you still got it.
You just tell me when and where.
(gentle acoustic music)
♪
SINGER: ♪ You say that you want to see me ♪
♪ The truth is scary so here I stand ♪
♪ Alone
♪ Oh, you say that you want to know me ♪
♪ Now you have all of me
♪ And I'm alone
♪ Alone
And increased hemoglobin.
I don't like the mass I'm seeing here,
and I don't like that you've been having
hip pain and headaches for weeks.
Could be the dancing.
We know from the last go-around
that your cancer has the potential
to act very aggressively, so we have to as well.
If your day's clear, I'd like to get you into
a surgical biopsy as soon as possible.
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
So I'll just give you a moment,
and then the nurse will be by
to take you upstairs.
I'm sorry, Paula.
(whispers) Thank you.
♪
♪ You say that you want to see me ♪
♪ The truth is scary
♪ So here I stand alone
♪ Alone
♪ Oh
(jazzy music)
♪
Hey, we can't get here at the exact same time.
Everyone will know.
We gotta stagger our arrivals.
Ooh, yeah, we should probably get disguises too.
You know that this isn't a closet thing, right?
I know. I get it. We're on a TV show.
We'll keep it between us, okay?
Well, if you can keep your hands off of me.
I think I'll be fine.
Okay, well, just to be safe,
we should probably have a code.
Ooh, when I want to say
"you look really good right now," I'll say,
"Dusty Springfield," hm?
-I don't know who that is. -Oh, my God.
Let's just say, um,
"There are Starbursts at crafty."
Oh, perfect.
I feel like La Femme Nikita right now.
(chuckles)
Okay, that was the last kiss of the day.
Okay, last kiss of the day. Jeez.
Aw. (chuckles)
(phone buzzing)
(martial music)
So she signs her own death sentence.
It's kind of brilliant, but that means
that no one can know the prize is a challenge.
Exactly.
Oh, can you make up a fake prize?
Yeah, yeah, that's easy.
It's what I do. I lie for a living.
Listen, Gabby.
Look, I love a convoluted caper, I do,
but you stand to lose everything here.
Yeah, I don't care. Look, I have to do this.
If I don't stand up for myself,
I am gonna think about it for the rest of my life,
So, yeah, I am putting it all on the line.
What she did cannot go unchecked.
Not today, not anymore, not this bitch.
Ooh, that was hot. You gotta say that on camera.
All right, I'm in.
I feel like we're gonna rob a bank together.
Ooh, should we have a secret handshake?
-What do you say? -Ooh, ooh, I don't know.
Do bank robbers have secret handshakes?
No, probably not.
Look, I just love skullduggery.
I feel close to you.
Forgive me for having team spirit.
All right, look, I'ma make this happen.
Good luck, kid. You have quite a hill to climb.
-I thought I fired you. -Nah, I'm here as a volunteer.
Here we go.
Oh, God, what is the show?
It has to be cohesive with a clear narrative.
I don't know what I'm doing.
If I don't figure it out,
I'll have to get my real estate license,
and let's be honest, would you buy a house from me?
Yeah, probably not. Costumes needs an answer.
They're both awful.
Sounds like you're creatively blocked.
Oh, do you have a PhD in psychology?
No, just a master's.
But as a creative, I get it.
When I need inspiration...
I go see Frank.
Who the hell's Frank?
He's a shaman.
He's also a Teamster. He drives van five.
Hey, Monica, new deal today.
-No square dancing? -No, thank God.
We're having a dance contest. It's gonna be maximum drama.
Everyone dances in their own style,
which gives them a chance to sort of show off,
and who knows? Maybe it'll help you,
I don't know, figure out the whole Swan Lake deal.
I'm not sure if you're aware, but the clock's ticking.
All right, I'll see you at the super fun dance contest, huh?
Alan! Nobody understands what we're doing.
Okay, set me up with the shaman.
Who's got eyes on Frank?
So there I was with a van full of zombies, all right,
and this dingus is standing in the middle of the road
talking on his cell phone!
Hey, what do you want, sweetheart?
Are you the one they call Frank?
Guys, I'm going 10-1.
What is it that you seek?
(pensive music)
(sighs)
Hey, what's going on?
They're having a contest, I think.
Hey, guys! (chuckles)
Oh, can I sit here?
Not for any reason, no.
It's nothing personal.
Just everyone kind of hates you.
Hey, friend.
Got you a coffee.
I figured, since we are friends,
maybe you could tell me why you abruptly
changed your mind about us?
You know what, Mike? I'm just not feeling it.
I don't wanna be mean about it,
but I think we need to give each other some room.
(downtrodden music)
♪
Hey.
Everything all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
All right, guys. Let's see some excitement.
All right, and action.
Dancers, we've got a contest for you today
that I'm just now learning about.
-ALL: Whoo! -Here's how it's going to go.
You will each dance your own style
for 30 seconds in front of a panel of your peers--
more specifically, the leads of our show.
Justin, Simon, Brittney will be judging this challenge.
I don't wanna judge these guys.
Really? I've been judging them for months.
-Now it's official. -What's the prize?
Yeah, what are we dancing for?
WAYNE: Well, that is an excellent question.
What is the prize?
A lifetime supply of shrimp.
A lifetime supply of s-shrimp? Really?
Hell, yeah! You hos are going down.
Yes, a lifetime supply of shrimp.
Guys, what could be better?
All right, let's reset please.
-Okay, here we go. -I don't understand.
Are we supposed to get that all at once?
NICK: No, you don't get it all at once.
It's monthly.
Is it wild caught or farm-raised?
-Is it peeled and de-veined? -I'm sure that it is, yeah.
What if I have a big family?
Do they get a lifetime supply too?
I can see you guys have a lot of questions about the shrimp,
so I'm gonna reach out to sales,
and then I'll circle back, all right, guys?
We gotta get this, okay? Let's see some energy please.
And--oh.
Sorry I'm late. What's going on?
Where the hell were you?
We're having a contest where, apparently, the first prize
is a lifetime supply of shrimp, for some reason.
Oh, that's lovely.
Lovely? What happened to you?
I took some magic mushrooms.
Did you know that there's a shaman in transpo?
Well, I guess everyone's gone crazy, and I'm all alone.
Okay, guys. Let's do this again, all right?
Can we go back to one, please?
Everybody, I need you to act excited about the shrimp,
and I would remind you that the shrimp is delicious.
Delicious, okay? Here we go.
Come on, guys, energy. And, Wayne, action.
Dancers, have we got a challenge for you.
(cheers and applause)
-You will each dance... -Excuse me.
WAYNE: Your own style for 30 seconds
in front of a panel of your peers.
JULIA: Hey, Paula. Where you going?
I don't need shrimp,
but I do need a drink, so I'm out of here.
-Love day drinking. I'm in. -Didn't invite you.
Yeah, well, I'm coming anyway.
Hi. Julia.
WAYNE: I understand you're working on
some exciting and very personal choreography.
Can you tell us about it?
MIKE: It's about a robot
who falls in love and becomes a human person
who then gets his heart ripped out.
Then he's gotta go back to being a robot.
Well, perhaps the robot should go and talk to Paula.
The robot tried, Wayne.
Perhaps a lifetime supply of shrimp will buck you up.
I don't think that shrimp's gonna fix this.
You know, there's just-- there's only one thing I want,
and I can't win it back with dancing.
Ugh, it's so weird not competing in this.
We have all this time on our hands.
Yep. Lots of time.
I think I saw Starbursts at crafty.
Hmm.
Well, we should go get some.
(upbeat music)
♪
MONICA: Do you come here to think too?
-What the hell? -God.
No. No.
We just came in here because I lost my kaftan.
You know what? It's not here. Let's go check the locker room.
It will only reveal itself when it wants to be found,
like all things do.
Justin, stay for a minute.
Sorry.
-You okay? -I just needed a moment.
It was very loud out there-- all those bodies.
Not that the human body isn't a marvelous thing.
You know, I always thought ballet was about unison,
and it is, but that's only because
unison is what makes all the differences pop.
I didn't understand that until now.
Okay. I'm gonna leave you on that.
Justin, Justin, Justin. Stay for a minute.
(clears throat)
Your soul is so special.
Thank you.
I never thought I'd have a protégé.
I have so much to teach you, and you--
you have so much to teach me.
It flows both ways. You're my favorite.
Don't tell the others.
Um, thank you.
That really means a lot to me.
I value our relationship too, you know.
But I have to ask. Are you okay?
I'm brilliant. Mm-hmm.
Oh! Hello.
NICK: Hey, Brittney. How you holding up?
No, not for you.
Oop!
Terrible. Everyone hates me.
This would be considered a twinsmergency,
and I can't find Simon anywhere.
You can fix this.
Why not show Gabby some love with the contest today?
Vote for her. Say some nice things.
A public declaration of support.
I don't know. It might turn the tide.
Yeah, that's a great idea. Thank you.
Hey, anytime. Yeah.
You don't get a cookie.
Okay, hey. Brittney is in the bag for you.
Did you tell Justin to vote for you?
No. That's cheating.
I want to win by beating everybody fairly.
No, you can't rely on winning this thing fairly.
You said you wanted revenge, right?
These things are always rigged.
I'm the producer, all right? Listen to me.
No, and by the way, producer, a lifetime supply of shrimp?
I mean, come on. What the hell?
Bubba Gump Shrimp reached out earlier in the season,
then they got cold feet, we--eh.
Just tell Justin to vote for you.
Look in my eyes. What do you see?
(sighs) Warmth.
Compassion. Commitment to social justice.
And three kittens curled up in a basket.
No, murder. You see murder in my eyes.
I am not cheating. I don't have to.
And that's final.
You have to. You have to cheat to win.
I want it ice cold-- frozen tundra cold--
with an eyedropper of vermouth and a twist.
-You got it? -Yeah.
I'll have the same thing.
And a menu probably would be a good idea.
I--I really feel like you should tell me what's going on.
I really think it's weird
you're asking me personal questions.
I didn't invite you, and we barely know each other.
Well, that's mean, but I have two teenage girls,
so you got nothing on them.
Something's up, Paula,
and I think that that something has to do with your health.
I've been through this with-- with people before.
Drinking in the morning,
pushing people away-- you know, really, honestly,
it's all a little trigger-y for me,
so I would like you to tell me please what's wrong.
Dance for it.
-What? -This is my favorite song.
Dance on the bar, and I'll tell you.
Maybe.
(Aretha Franklin's "I Say A Little Prayer" playing)
SINGER: ♪ I say a little prayer for you ♪
♪ And while I'm combing my hair now ♪
♪ And wondering what dress to wear now ♪
♪ I say a little prayer for you ♪
♪ Forever and ever you'll stay in my heart ♪
♪ And I will love you
♪ Forever and ever we never will part ♪
♪ Oh, how I love you
♪ Together, together, that's how it must be ♪
♪ To live without you would only mean heartbreak for me ♪
♪ Ooh
(cheers and applause)
♪ I run for the bus, dear
♪ But while riding I think of us, dear ♪
♪ I say a little prayer for you ♪
That's the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life.
♪
♪ And all through my coffee break time ♪
I think my cancer's back.
(somber music)
I don't know, but I know.
They want to run a biopsy and a couple of tests,
and I thought, "You know what sounds better?
A drink," so cheers.
Paula, I am so sorry,
but I gotta tell you that I think that you should
go get those tests, like, right now.
(sighs) I don't want to do that.
I want to do anything else in the world besides that.
♪
This is my teenage daughter who has been bugging me
to take her shopping for a homecoming dress,
but this is not important.
That's what I want to do.
What?
I want to take your daughter shopping
for a homecoming dress.
-Paula-- -I don't want to spend the day
finding out how bad the bad news is.
It's bad.
Shopping is perfect.
Kay, sure, but heads up.
My daughter is awful.
-♪ Answer my prayer -♪ Answer my prayer, babe
♪ Answer my prayer
(phone buzzing)
-Who is calling you so much? -Ugh, it's my brother.
I don't know. It's probably some football thing.
Okay, well, tell him you have important business
judging our peers with these buzzers I found.
(squeals, laughs)
I didn't get one for you.
I just feel like a buzzer isn't a good look
for where you are in your journey.
Mm.
(exhales) Let's do this.
-(buzzer blares) -Yeah, let's do this.
All right, what prevents us?
Sorry, boss, we're having trouble with the playback.
We need five.
-Hello, friends. -Oh, right.
It's our lady of hallucinogenics.
Cool. It's very professional of you.
Alan, you have beautiful eyes.
NICK: All right, could you not sexually harass
my assistant, please?
I'm not sexually harassing Alan.
I'm sexually harassing you.
-Okay. -(soft gasp)
What does she mean by that, Nick?
I don't know. What is going on? Come on.
Don't worry, Alan. I'll tell you.
In fact, I'll tell all of you.
No, you won't tell anyone anything--
Greetings from above, everyone.
So, um, Nick and I are sleeping together,
but you've probably sensed that.
Wow, no. Definitely did not.
Wait. Don't you guys hate each other?
Why was I trying to hide it?
Because they're not supposed to know.
They're not supposed to know!
Because I was trying to control it, like everything.
But isn't standing naked before one another
a valid way to pull away
this veil of separation, just for a moment?
Is she getting naked up there?
-How we doing on the playback? -DANTE: We're good.
Also, Ally and I called this about you two a long time ago.
Good for you guys. That's great.
Can you play the song please?
-Oh, okay, just-- -WAYNE: Now that that little
"Just say no to drugs" PSA is over,
let's begin.
(Fitz and The Tantrums' "HandClap" playing)
SINGER: ♪ Somebody save your soul
♪ 'Cause you've been sinning in this city, I know ♪
♪ Too many troubles
♪ All these lovers got you losing control ♪
♪ You're like a drug to me
♪ A luxury, my sugar and gold ♪
♪ I want the good life, every good night ♪
♪ You're a hard one to hold
(cheers and applause)
♪ I can make your hands clap
Oh, we got a robot.
♪ Said I can make your hands clap ♪
♪ Every night when the stars come out ♪
(buzzer blares)
♪ Am I the only living soul around? ♪
(buzzer blares)
♪ Need to believe you could hold me down ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm in need of something good right now ♪
This'll play.
♪ We could be screaming till the sun comes out ♪
♪ And when we wake we'd be the only sound ♪
♪ Get on my knees and say a prayer, James Brown ♪
♪ That I can make your hands clap ♪
(cheers and applause)
(buzzer blares)
♪ Turn it up
She's like you out there, Alan.
♪
♪ 'Cause you don't even know
♪ I can make your hands clap
♪ Said I can make your hands clap ♪
♪ Somebody save your soul
♪ 'Cause you've been sinning in this city ♪
-(cheers and applause) -♪ Too many troubles
♪ All these lovers got you losing control ♪
♪ You're like a drug to me
♪ A luxury, my sugar and gold ♪
♪ I want your sex and your affection ♪
♪ When they're holding you close ♪
Whoo!
♪ 'Cause you don't even know
(cheers and applause)
Yes.
Wait. Who is that guy?
Is he a part of the crew? Did you hire anyone new?
No. I didn't do anything.
(Crystal Waters' "100% Pure Love" playing)
♪
SINGER: ♪ Pure love
♪
♪ From the back to the middle and around again ♪
♪ I'm gonna be there till the end ♪
♪ 100% pure love
♪ From the back to the middle and around again ♪
♪ I'm gonna be there till the end ♪
♪ 100% pure love
♪ You'll never have to run away ♪
-Is she dancing with shrimp? -Is this even allowed?
We make the rules, and I say yes.
♪
Yeah, eat that shrimp.
♪ Whoa
♪
ALL: Oh!
Oh, my...
♪
(cheers and applause)
WAYNE: Well done!
This is why you have to cheat.
Quick, quick, quick! Let's go.
Let's go, let's go. Flip.
Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, boom!
-Get out of there. -(whistle toots)
(gritty hip-hop music)
Hike, hike, hike. There you go.
♪
Finish out, finish out, finish out.
RAPPER: ♪ I'ma give it all until the last minute ♪
Nice job. One more time. One more time.
♪ Go hard or go home, it's survival of the fittest ♪
-Go! -♪ Let's get activated
♪ Let's get activated, activated ♪
♪ Let's get activated, let's get activated ♪
♪ Let's go
TREYSON: Okay!
That's what I'm talking about right there.
(chuckles)
Big dog.
-Hmm. -Not bad.
I gotta say, man,
your footwork is significantly better than it used to be.
Well, it turns out 20 hours of ballet
a week helps with that.
(chuckles) I can't believe you doing that.
Playing twinkle toes with a bunch of sad clowns.
Come on, man. Don't be like that.
If I'm being real with you, man,
that show helped me get my act together.
You let someone who just came in
from dropping off their kid at school yell at you
about your sous-sus and see how you feel about it.
I like what I saw today. I'ma run this up the ladder,
and maybe, maybe,
there's some room to bring you back.
How "maybe" is maybe?
Go get cleared from your doctor to play.
-Then we'll talk. -Yes, sir.
And she took it, and she just snuck it
right under the dressing room, which means you--
SOPHIA: Okay, Mom, I'm gonna come out now.
And don't give me that look.
-JULIA: Oh, hell, no. -PAULA: No, no, no.
-That is too much skin. -That's the look.
-There's no world in where... -What are you doing?
-Body shaming me? -I'm gonna get you that dress.
I mean, what are you? Against women?
I'm not even gonna respond to that.
Will you please, please just try on this dress?
Paula picked it out.
-I think it's great. -JULIA: She picked it out.
-Nothing to do with it. -It's red.
-Please. -Ugh, fine.
(sighs mockingly)
I should have stayed at the bar.
Stop. She's adorable.
(mellow pop music playing over speakers)
-I wonder who won the shrimp. -(chuckles)
What happened with you and Mike this morning?
He shouldn't have to deal with this.
What?
We've only been going out for three weeks. It's rude.
I'm not gonna put him through it.
You don't think he should have a say in that?
-No. -(curtains open)
JULIA: (gasps) Oh, baby...
-It's gorgeous. -That's--you look amazing.
-PAULA: That's the one. -Oh, I know!
-That is the one. -You like that?
-That's the one, right? -That is absolutely--
You did such a good job picking that out.
Mom, I need you to take a picture of me
so that I can send it to Kelsey.
Okay, yeah, absolutely.
I will take a picture right now.
-(camera shutter clicks) -So pretty!
Oh, my God. Look at that color.
Oh, she's gonna be so jealous.
-JULIA: You think so? -SOPHIA: Perfect.
JULIA: It's you. You look beautiful.
The color and everything.
Yeah? Do you love it?
-SOPHIA: Yes. -JULIA: (laughs)
-Thank you so much. -You're welcome, baby.
(somber piano music)
She's always gonna remember finding this dress with you.
♪
So sweet.
Life is so sweet.
I didn't think I--
I'm not ready to--
Okay. Okay.
Wanna go see what we're up against?
Go to the hospital right now, okay?
-I'm scared. -I know.
♪
I got you.
PRODUCER: And go.
Now that the judges have had a moment
to collect their thoughts, I understand it's down to two.
Gabby, Miriam, please step forward.
WAYNE: It's time for your final votes.
Brittney?
I'm gonna have to go with my girl Gabby.
She's undeniable.
We all love her, and you know what?
She loves all of us right back, right?
SIMON: Respectfully disagree.
My vote goes to the unexpected magic of Miriam.
You broke the rules, but you also broke my brain.
WAYNE: Justin, it's all down to you--the deciding vote.
Right.
I thought both women were great.
I loved all your moves,
but I guess I was most surprised by Miriam.
-Hell yeah! -JUSTIN: My vote goes to Miriam.
WAYNE: Congratulations, Miriam!
-(sighs) -Who cares, right?
I mean, you don't even like shrimp.
Plot twist.
The prize for this challenge isn't actually shrimp.
ANNOUNCER: Not actually shrimp.
Wait, what? What's the prize?
The prize is a challenge ticket.
The bearer of this has the ability to challenge
one of our principals for their role.
-BOTH: What? -So not about the shrimp then?
ANNOUNCER: A challenge ticket.
Look, I don't wanna say, "I told you so."
Shut up. You're the one who made the prize
apparently Miriam's favorite thing in the world.
-What do we do? -I'm out of moves.
I was promised shrimp.
Wait, I have a move. I have one move.
Well, what are you waiting for?
Hey, Miriam. Hi.
I have--I have an idea. Let's go talk.
Sometimes I call her pumpkin
because I feel like Cinderella when I drive her.
This car was destined to be mine.
And sometimes I call her Ruth Bader Ginsberg
because of how much she has improved my life.
Oh, I'm gonna paint flames on the side.
Oh, please don't.
All right, we got that. Thank you, everybody.
That's a cut. Let's head back inside please.
Hey, that was great TV. I gotta hand it to you.
-(sighs) -Man, that had to hurt, huh?
Oh, yeah, but I don't wanna talk about it.
Okay, last time.
Look, are you sure you want to do this?
I'm sure.
(dramatic music)
I'm challenging Brittney for the role of the White Swan.
ALL: Ooh!
Oh, I thought you said you wanted to move on.
Oh, this is me moving on.
You're a terrible person, and you need to leave.
♪
Uh--
We have a dance battle on our hands.
Here are the rules.
Brittney and Gabby, each of you will choose two other dancers,
and your teams will go head-to-head.
Monica and I will judge.
NICK: Wait, I got another twist.
This isn't just a battle for the role of the White Swan.
This is a battle to the death.
-That's right. -If your teams lose,
Gabby, Brittney, you're going home.
Oh.
-DANCER: What? -DANCER: Okay.
Well, then.
You should probably go pack up your locker right now.
I've never lost a girl fight.
DR. PARGRAVE: The fractured vertebrae
from your car accident aren't healing properly.
But you told me a year ago
that those would be okay with rest and time.
I've rested. I've taken the time.
I feel great and now I'm ready to play again,
so how about you just, you know,
sign the paper and I'll be on my way?
I don't think that's a good idea.
What--what are you saying? What are you saying?
I can't play?
Technically, I can clear you to play,
but if you were my son, I'd be begging you
to find anything else to do with your life.
If you were my father, you'd be living in the house
that I bought you on the lake.
(soft music)
I need to be able to provide for the people in my life, okay?
-So just sign the paper. -You're not listening to me.
♪
I hate hospitals. Hate.
Me too.
Want me to read to you from this magazine from 2014?
NURSE: Paula Clark? We're ready for you.
(pensive piano music)
Okay, I will be here to pick you up.
-Oh, you don't have to wait. -JULIA: No, no, no.
Someone's gotta be here for you when you wake up, okay?
Okay.
You got this.
Yeah.
You do. You do.
♪
You got it. Come on.
What happened to being here when she wakes up?
Someone will be here.
I don't appreciate it, Nick.
I don't appreciate being left in the dark,
and we don't do eliminations.
-That's not our show. -Look.
Gabby wanted revenge.
People are gonna want a win for her.
I'm so sick of having to explain television to you.
Come on.
We're putting on Swan Lake, Nicholas.
This is not American Gladiators.
American Gladiators was a great show.
It ran for seven seasons.
-Tell him. -Oh, it was Crush.
Fury. Hurricane.
-NICK: Alan, enough! -Yep.
-(sighs) -(groans)
Oh, well, hello.
And how is your idiotic trip going?
Oh, it was great.
You know, I had a long conversation with Tchaikovsky,
and he told me that I shouldn't feel constrained by anything.
Not even his music.
And once again, I'm all alone.
-PRODUCER: And roll sound. -(bell rings)
Ladies, do you have your teams?
(dramatic music)
♪
SOPHIA: A dance battle?
Do you guys, like, do this every day?
Nope, only when the producers are bored.
Mike, can I talk to you?
Ah, hey. Julia, where you been?
You missed a lot. Monica is high.
Gabby gave her car away,
and Miriam has some surprisingly strong feelings about shrimp.
Mike, Mike.
We need to talk about Paula, okay?
You want to come...
Okay.
WAYNE: Coin toss for song choice.
-Brittney, you're heads. -Mm-hmm.
♪
Oh, now that's gold right there. That's good.
Heads. I choose.
WAYNE: And what's your song choice?
Hm.
(Ludacris' "Move Bitch")
♪
(cheers and applause)
LUDACRIS: ♪ Move, bitch!
♪ Get out the way
♪ Get out the way, bitch, get out the way ♪
♪ Move, bitch, get out the way ♪
♪ Get out the way, bitch, get out the way ♪
♪ Oh, no, fight's out
♪ I'm 'bout to punch your lights out ♪
Girl, I don't know who to root for.
WOMAN: Mom and Dad are dance fighting.
♪ There's something wrong, we can't stay still ♪
♪ I've been dranking and busting too ♪
♪ And I been thanking of busting you ♪
♪ Upside your [...] forehead
♪ And if your friends jump in, aww, girl ♪
♪ They'll be mo' [...]
♪ Causing confusion, disturbing the peace ♪
♪ It's not an illusion, we runnin' the streets ♪
♪ So bye-bye to all you groupies and gold diggers ♪
♪ Is there a bumper on your [...]? ♪
-♪ No, [...] -(whistle blows)
♪ Doing a hundred on the highway ♪
♪ So if you do the speed limit ♪
This is amazing!
-DANCER: Spicy! -(cheers and applause)
-You're so good. -You too.
-BRITTNEY: Simon! -GABBY: Justin!
-BOTH: Sorry. -SINGER: ♪ Get out the way
-I'm sorry. -No.
SINGER: ♪ Bitch, get out the way
♪ Move, bitch, get out the way ♪
Great job on the rain machine. That really plusses everything.
♪ Here I come, here I go
♪ Uh-oh, don't jump, [...], move! ♪
-This is so cool! -I know, right?
♪ Start that [...] show, I'm comin' through ♪
♪ Hit the stage and knock the curtains down ♪
♪ I [...] the crowd up, that's what I do ♪
♪ Young and successful, a sex symbol ♪
Come on, kid. Put the bullet in.
♪ True, true
♪ Move, bitch, get out the way ♪
♪ Get out the way, bitch, get out the way ♪
♪ Move, bitch, get out the way ♪
♪ Get out the way, bitch, get out the way ♪
(sweeping string rendition of "Move Bitch")
♪
(breathing heavily)
♪
♪ Move, bitch, get out the way ♪
♪ Get out the way, bitch, get out the way ♪
-Ow! -What, "Ow"?
You just kicked me in the face, Brittney.
-Oh, did you see that? -Oh!
-(all panting) -WAYNE: Who wins?
Well, who wins?
(dramatic music)
♪
We all do.
It's going to work. The show is going to work!
Please--
Ooh.
For me, can you be present?
Well, it was-- it was all spectacular,
but it has to be Gabby.
-WAYNE: Gabby wins. -Yes!
(cheers and applause)
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Brittney, I'm so sorry.
It's my sad duty to tell you you must now balancé away.
(cheers and applause)
(laughs) Yes!
(victorious music)
Hey, what are you doing here?
I've called you, like, three times.
Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.
I had to help Gabby defeat her mortal enemy in a dance battle.
Did you see it? It was cool.
Yeah, I saw it. It was real cool.
Dad had an accident.
What?
NICK: Wow. That was a crazy day.
-It was insane. -I mean,
you coming all in here with your plan
and all its twists and turns.
Oh, my God. I almost had a heart attack three times.
-And then you emerge victorious! -GABBY: I know.
I mean, for the first time in my life,
I put it all on the line.
I stood up for myself and my son.
I don't think I could have done that two months ago.
And now, I am the White Swan,
and my best friend is the Prince,
and Reggie is the Wizard, and Brittney is gone.
I would call that a pretty good day.
I'd call that a pretty great day.
GABBY: You know, are we done? I wanna go celebrate.
Yeah, get out of here, kid. You earned it.
-Okay, thank you. -Yeah.
-Hey, thank you. -Yeah? Oh.
-All right. -Thank you.
-Of course, yeah. -(laughs) Nick.
-And you, thank you. -ALAN: Yes.
-We did it. -Yes, we did.
-Bye. -That's so unprofessional.
What? Why? You hugged.
We have a situation. It's about Justin.
I mean, it wasn't fair.
There definitely should not have been a rain machine.
You know what?
Everybody hates me, so maybe it's for the best.
No one's even gonna come and say goodbye.
Hey, Brittney?
Alan incoming. Hi.
Um, production wants to see you. You might not be done yet.
(soft music)
JUSTIN: My dad fell off a ladder.
He broke his foot.
His business is the only thing he cares about,
and if I don't help, then it's gonna go under.
So you're leaving Swan Lake,
my Swan Lake, to go and clean gutters.
-Is that what you're telling me? -No.
I'm leaving the show to help my family.
Well, then, I guess you better be going.
-That's it? -Everyone's replaceable.
You've chosen to abandon us,
so clean out your locker and get out.
I should've known better than to waste my time on you.
You said I was your favorite.
I was high on psychedelics. I said a lot of things.
Every time you open your mouth, it's just, like...
(scoffs) Toads and snakes jump out.
It's--it's so awful.
(somber music)
You know, I'm just gonna--
I'm just gonna say thank you for your time and attention.
It meant a lot to me.
♪
(door slams)
I'm gonna be staying at my dad's for a while.
He needs a lot of help,
so my brother and I are gonna be taking shifts.
Is he gonna be okay?
Yeah, he's gonna annoy the living hell out of me,
but he's gonna be fine.
-Are you gonna be okay? -Sure.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Sure.
Hey, uh,
there are still Starbursts at crafty.
(somber music)
♪
(engine turns over)
♪
What do you mean she's back?
I can't lose two principals. Not this close to the show.
Maybe Justin can come back sooner than he thinks.
Doesn't seem like Justin's coming back, Gabby.
Do you not realize what she did?
She used my private trauma to make herself look good.
She messed with my kid. I want her off the show.
You also wanted her role, right, which you got.
I cannot lose two principals. You're gonna be the White Swan.
You're gonna be a star. You won.
No! No, because she's still here,
and now I have to go dance with her.
Yes, you are--that's gonna be a great story for us.
Every time I think that you might be a decent person,
you remind me that the only thing that you actually
care about is yourself and your career and this show.
Right. This is news to you, Gabby?
I'm just a guy trying to get a second season here.
It's the show above everything else.
This is my job.
I'm not your friend, Gabby.
Yeah, noted.
♪
I've had enough surprises today, Reggie.
-I'm sad. -I think this will help.
I was gonna do just diamonds,
but I know that sounds a little basic, so...
Reggie, this is beautiful.
No one's ever given me anything like this before.
-What's the--why? -Oh, it's two part.
Part one is you getting the White Swan,
but also, I wanted to buy you your first official gift
as an NFL player's girlfriend.
I am back on the team.
-You're back on the team? -Yeah.
-(laughing) Oh, my God! -Hell yeah.
Reggie, I am so proud of you.
Mm.
So proud of you. I love it.
Is it the most selfish thing in the world
that I'm sad I won't get to dance with you?
Oh, I'm still gonna dance with you.
Oh, oh, oh. Okay.
Well, I would prefer you as my Wizard,
but, um, the necklace is okay too.
BOTH: (chuckle)
Oh, my God. I am so excited for you.
BOTH: (chuckle)
Also, girlfriend?
(The Cure's "Just Like Heaven")
SINGER: ♪ Show me, show me
♪ Show me how you do that trick ♪
♪ The one that makes me scream, she said ♪
♪ The one that makes me laugh, she said ♪
♪ And threw her arms around my neck ♪
♪ Show me how you do it
♪ And I promise you, I promise ♪
I talked to Julia. She told me everything.
And listen, if you don't want me here
because you actually don't like me, then I will go.
But if you are pushing me away
because you think that this is too deep for me,
then you do not know how deep I go.
I'm in love with you.
And I know it's fast, but screw it.
We're adults, and I know when it's real.
And what's real is that I am not even scared
of you rejecting me, but I am absolutely terrified
that you are gonna go through this alone.
Let me be here for you.
It's too much.
It's not too much.
♪
I'm sorry I was so mean.
It's okay.
♪
I love you too, you know?
(laughs softly)
Seems like a really weird occasion for balloons.
I had to get creative.
You didn't put me on the visitors list.
Oh, did a whole thing.
If anybody asks, I'm a delivery guy, okay?
It's actually exhausting.
Can I get in there with you?
SINGER: ♪ Spinning on that dizzy edge ♪
Okay.
SINGER: ♪ Kissed her face and kissed her head ♪
♪ Dreamed of all the different ways I had ♪
♪ To make her glow
♪ Why are you so far away, she said ♪
♪ Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you? ♪
(sighs)
SINGER: ♪ That I'm in love with you
♪ You, soft and only
♪ You, lost and lonely
♪ You
♪ Just like heaven
♪
(fanfare)