1
00:00:02,077 --> 00:00:05,078
(blades thrumming)
2
00:00:05,155 --> 00:00:06,488
NICK:
Has everyone been evacuated?
3
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:07,655
JESSICA: I think so.
Awaiting confirmation from set.
4
00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:09,082
Are they okay?
5
00:00:09,159 --> 00:00:10,509
I mean, they're covered
in crude oil, so no?
6
00:00:10,660 --> 00:00:11,735
NICK:
All right, talk to me.
7
00:00:11,754 --> 00:00:13,178
We have Governor DeSantis,
the Coast Guard,
8
00:00:13,255 --> 00:00:14,329
and Zach Peterman
from the network.
9
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,422
God, what a horrible array
of choices.
10
00:00:15,574 --> 00:00:16,907
All right, give me the network.
Come on.
11
00:00:16,909 --> 00:00:18,017
PA: He's on
whenever you're ready.
12
00:00:18,093 --> 00:00:18,851
Hey, Zach!
How you doing, buddy?
13
00:00:19,002 --> 00:00:20,352
Uh, here's the situation.
14
00:00:20,429 --> 00:00:23,022
There was an accident
on an oil rig a few miles away.
15
00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:24,931
It's currently dumping
about 40,000 gallons
16
00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:27,100
of crude oil into the water,
but we're evacuating everyone.
17
00:00:27,253 --> 00:00:28,343
It's completely under control.
18
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,770
-I knew this would happen.
-NICK: Really?
19
00:00:29,922 --> 00:00:31,196
You knew there was gonna be
an oil spill?
20
00:00:31,348 --> 00:00:33,198
ZACH: No, but I knew
that something would go wrong
21
00:00:33,275 --> 00:00:34,591
when you take 12 people
and put them
22
00:00:34,593 --> 00:00:36,702
in a plexiglass house
underwater!
23
00:00:36,853 --> 00:00:38,186
This was a terrible idea!
24
00:00:38,264 --> 00:00:39,613
Well, that's weird because
you got into
25
00:00:39,765 --> 00:00:40,998
a huge bidding war over it.
26
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,877
and we once did a show called
Burn That Money.
27
00:00:44,953 --> 00:00:46,453
I want you to stop shooting.
28
00:00:46,605 --> 00:00:49,239
Well, let's, uh, let's think
that through, okay?
29
00:00:49,275 --> 00:00:50,865
Because we're getting some
really great stuff here,
30
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:52,051
man, and it's--
31
00:00:52,202 --> 00:00:53,627
Turn off the cameras!
Stop shooting!
32
00:00:53,779 --> 00:00:55,112
I am not kidding!
33
00:00:55,114 --> 00:00:56,204
Copy that. You heard him, guys.
34
00:00:56,282 --> 00:00:58,115
Everybody, stop shooting.
Stop shooting!
35
00:00:58,133 --> 00:01:00,708
Nick, tell me
everyone got out safely.
36
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,061
Uh...
37
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,213
Hey, Zach, I got
the Coast Guard
38
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,640
on the other line, buddy.
39
00:01:06,716 --> 00:01:08,625
I'm so sorry.
I gotta call you back, okay?
40
00:01:08,644 --> 00:01:10,069
-Thank you.
-Answer the question! Answer--
41
00:01:10,145 --> 00:01:11,962
Ted and Eva
refused to evacuate.
42
00:01:11,964 --> 00:01:13,847
They wanna win
the prize money.
43
00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:16,241
-God, people are so dumb.
-(alarm blaring)
44
00:01:16,318 --> 00:01:19,319
Okay, game on.
Let's get Ted on camera.
45
00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:21,413
I think it's important
to remember that nobody died.
46
00:01:21,565 --> 00:01:24,399
Yes, they lived to bring
a multimillion-dollar
47
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,476
class-action lawsuit
against the network.
48
00:01:26,495 --> 00:01:28,420
Can you explain
why you kept shooting
49
00:01:28,572 --> 00:01:30,997
after the network
specifically asked you not to?
50
00:01:31,074 --> 00:01:33,241
My entire job
is to keep shooting.
51
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,760
It was very compelling
television.
52
00:01:34,911 --> 00:01:36,077
You guys should air it.
53
00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:38,171
I mean, you know,
unless you hate great ratings.
54
00:01:38,248 --> 00:01:40,081
-(chuckles)
-That footage was subpoenaed
55
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:42,267
for their civil suit.
56
00:01:42,344 --> 00:01:44,269
Well, that's gonna be
the most entertaining evidence
57
00:01:44,421 --> 00:01:47,231
they'll ever watch,
I can guarantee you that.
58
00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:50,109
(edgy music)
59
00:01:50,185 --> 00:01:51,685
Is the network
pinning this on me?
60
00:01:51,837 --> 00:01:53,186
Because that's what
it feels like.
61
00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:55,096
Look, I'm dealing with
a custody battle right now.
62
00:01:55,174 --> 00:01:56,615
I cannot be on the hook
for this money.
63
00:01:56,766 --> 00:01:57,491
I'll never see Henry again.
64
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,193
Keep the network happy.
65
00:02:00,270 --> 00:02:03,622
Make this dance show a success.
How's it going anyway?
66
00:02:03,699 --> 00:02:04,581
(sighs)
I don't know.
67
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,853
-(whip cracks)
-(moaning)
68
00:02:09,872 --> 00:02:11,538
JULIA:
So what do you think, Kevin?
69
00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:14,299
I just started watching
this show you're binging.
70
00:02:14,451 --> 00:02:17,636
Oh, my God, Julia!
You went into my computer?
71
00:02:17,787 --> 00:02:19,471
No, no, I took it to the store,
72
00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:21,473
and three 22-year-olds
explained to me
73
00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:24,309
that my husband watches
seven hours of porn a day.
74
00:02:24,386 --> 00:02:26,052
Are you masturbating
from home today,
75
00:02:26,129 --> 00:02:27,462
or are you going
into the office?
76
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,148
Are you gonna make
a huge deal out of this?
77
00:02:29,299 --> 00:02:32,376
You're also spending $2,000
a month on a webcam site
78
00:02:32,378 --> 00:02:33,877
called My Kind of Pie,
which seems--
79
00:02:33,896 --> 00:02:34,878
SOPHIA:
Whoa!
80
00:02:34,897 --> 00:02:37,214
What is happening right now?
81
00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:38,899
Your father's addicted
to internet pornography.
82
00:02:39,051 --> 00:02:40,050
There are bagels.
83
00:02:40,068 --> 00:02:42,386
Nice, Julia. Real nice!
84
00:02:42,404 --> 00:02:44,246
Soph, take your sister
to school.
85
00:02:45,557 --> 00:02:47,557
-What the hell was that?
-SOPHIA: I don't know.
86
00:02:47,559 --> 00:02:49,001
They're freaks.
87
00:02:49,077 --> 00:02:51,170
-Did that feel good?
-No.
88
00:02:53,415 --> 00:02:55,007
I'm doing the dance show.
It starts today.
89
00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:56,249
-No, no, no, no, no.
-Yes, yes, yes.
90
00:02:56,402 --> 00:02:57,843
You said you weren't
doing that.
91
00:02:57,994 --> 00:02:59,178
Well, I am--
It might be my last chance
92
00:02:59,329 --> 00:03:01,221
to dance again,
and I am taking it.
93
00:03:02,332 --> 00:03:04,165
I asked for whipped cream!
Do you see
94
00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:05,350
-whipped cream on there?
-MIKE: I've said this
95
00:03:05,502 --> 00:03:06,743
-five times already.
-Do you see whipped cream
96
00:03:06,762 --> 00:03:08,078
-on that?
-It's not what you wanted,
97
00:03:08,096 --> 00:03:09,188
-but I can't take it back.
-It's a simple question.
98
00:03:09,339 --> 00:03:10,689
Do you see whipped cream
on that?
99
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,507
Would you please stop saying,
"Do you see whipped cream"
100
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,583
in that voice, okay?
101
00:03:13,602 --> 00:03:15,769
What happened to
customer service, loser?
102
00:03:15,845 --> 00:03:17,103
I don't know, lady!
103
00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:18,438
What happened
to the American middle class?
104
00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:21,591
What happened to dignity?
I have five jobs.
105
00:03:21,610 --> 00:03:24,870
My wife left me.
I'm broken glass on the inside.
106
00:03:24,947 --> 00:03:27,372
So enjoy your dumb coffee.
107
00:03:31,695 --> 00:03:34,421
Oh, no. We got too mad.
108
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,676
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, it's just...
109
00:03:42,114 --> 00:03:43,630
My daughter moved back in
with her kids,
110
00:03:43,782 --> 00:03:44,948
and they're awful.
111
00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:46,708
My husband works from home,
112
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,578
and all I do is laundry.
113
00:03:49,654 --> 00:03:51,471
It's okay. I get it.
114
00:03:51,623 --> 00:03:54,791
Times are tough, you know,
but life'll turn around.
115
00:03:54,810 --> 00:03:58,052
I was at rock bottom, and then
I auditioned for a dance show,
116
00:03:58,072 --> 00:03:59,963
and I got in.
117
00:03:59,965 --> 00:04:02,407
-Seriously? You're a dancer?
-Sort of.
118
00:04:02,484 --> 00:04:05,969
The point is, out of nowhere,
second chance.
119
00:04:05,971 --> 00:04:07,246
I'm gonna get my wife back.
120
00:04:07,322 --> 00:04:11,641
But first, I'm gonna
get you another coffee
121
00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:12,976
with whipped cream.
122
00:04:12,995 --> 00:04:14,327
You don't have to do that.
123
00:04:14,404 --> 00:04:16,830
No, this is the day
both of our lives turn around!
124
00:04:16,906 --> 00:04:18,590
Be back in 15 minutes!
125
00:04:19,985 --> 00:04:21,651
What do you think?
Change out the top?
126
00:04:21,670 --> 00:04:23,745
Mm, yeah, change out the top.
127
00:04:23,822 --> 00:04:25,097
Is that what you're wearing?
128
00:04:25,248 --> 00:04:26,765
She's changing out the top.
129
00:04:26,916 --> 00:04:29,584
What about work?
Did you get a leave of absence?
130
00:04:29,661 --> 00:04:31,011
What? No. I quit.
131
00:04:31,163 --> 00:04:33,013
-(car horn honks)
-That's Justin. I'm late.
132
00:04:33,165 --> 00:04:36,257
You quit? Are you crazy?
You have a 401(k)!
133
00:04:36,335 --> 00:04:38,168
-(Gabby groans)
-What is going on here?
134
00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:39,519
Is this about that
football player?
135
00:04:39,671 --> 00:04:41,004
Of course it's not about
the football player!
136
00:04:41,023 --> 00:04:43,097
Good, because he's famous.
He dates models.
137
00:04:43,175 --> 00:04:44,508
GABBY: Why do you have to crap
all over this?
138
00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:45,650
You encouraged me!
139
00:04:45,727 --> 00:04:47,861
I did, but I didn't expect
you to ruin your life.
140
00:04:47,937 --> 00:04:49,346
What do you think
is gonna happen?
141
00:04:49,364 --> 00:04:50,847
You're gonna become
a professional dancer?
142
00:04:50,866 --> 00:04:52,182
Yeah, that's the idea, Mom,
143
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,441
that someone
will pay me to dance.
144
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,793
Oh, yeah, somebody is going
to pay me
145
00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:55,943
to be a Victoria's Secret
model.
146
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,945
Does it matter to you
that I hate my life?
147
00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:58,964
Not you, Sam. You're great.
148
00:04:59,115 --> 00:05:00,040
I know, Mama.
149
00:05:00,192 --> 00:05:01,207
Maybe it's not too late to do
150
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,876
what I was going to do
before Sam came along.
151
00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:03,969
No offense, Sam.
You're the best.
152
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,137
None taken, Mama.
153
00:05:05,288 --> 00:05:06,621
So if you don't believe in me,
that's fine,
154
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,881
because I believe in me.
155
00:05:08,033 --> 00:05:09,215
This is my shot,
and I'm going for it
156
00:05:09,384 --> 00:05:11,643
so I don't spend the rest
of my life wondering what if!
157
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,703
Amen, sister!
158
00:05:13,722 --> 00:05:14,962
Oh, brother.
159
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,798
That was a lot of yelling.
160
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,059
Just go.
161
00:05:19,211 --> 00:05:20,894
MARTHA:
♪ Everybody dance now! ♪
162
00:05:21,046 --> 00:05:23,137
(both laughing)
163
00:05:23,215 --> 00:05:24,990
(C+C Music Factory's
"Gonna Make You Sweat")
164
00:05:25,141 --> 00:05:27,567
♪ The music is my life ♪
165
00:05:27,719 --> 00:05:29,644
♪ ♪
166
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,721
♪ Everybody dance now! ♪
167
00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:33,648
♪ ♪
168
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,741
♪ Everybody dance now! ♪
169
00:05:34,818 --> 00:05:35,742
My dad would say,
170
00:05:35,894 --> 00:05:37,151
"That boy gay
as the morning sun."
171
00:05:37,229 --> 00:05:38,837
As a queer man,
I should be offended.
172
00:05:38,988 --> 00:05:41,064
But in this case,
I kind of get it.
173
00:05:41,083 --> 00:05:42,341
GABBY: Oh, shut up.
He looks fabulous.
174
00:05:42,492 --> 00:05:43,383
(chuckles)
175
00:05:45,161 --> 00:05:47,587
GABBY:
That looked awesome, you guys!
176
00:05:47,664 --> 00:05:49,089
I know, right?
177
00:05:49,241 --> 00:05:51,999
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
Reggie Sadler.
178
00:05:52,077 --> 00:05:53,259
I cannot believe
they got me doing this.
179
00:05:53,412 --> 00:05:55,002
-(Gabby laughs)
-What's up?
180
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,004
What's going on there?
That's a lot.
181
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,264
P.A.: All right, guys,
let's go in!
182
00:05:58,341 --> 00:06:00,417
-BRITTNEY: Okay.
-Big smiles when you walk in!
183
00:06:00,435 --> 00:06:01,084
Big smiles!
184
00:06:01,086 --> 00:06:02,677
(bell rings)
185
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,695
Guys, what prevents us?
186
00:06:03,847 --> 00:06:05,922
JESSICA:
Waiting on the elevator.
187
00:06:05,941 --> 00:06:08,015
Okay, guys, remember,
you're excited!
188
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,443
All your dreams
are about to come true!
189
00:06:10,596 --> 00:06:11,611
Roll sound.
190
00:06:11,688 --> 00:06:14,539
(hopeful music)
191
00:06:14,616 --> 00:06:20,770
♪ ♪
192
00:06:20,772 --> 00:06:23,173
All right, cue the mirrors.
193
00:06:27,629 --> 00:06:28,945
WAYNE: Hi!
194
00:06:28,947 --> 00:06:30,037
(contestants cheering)
195
00:06:30,115 --> 00:06:32,282
Welcome! Welcome!
196
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:35,042
Come on. Who's popping?
Who's popping?
197
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,895
(back-up alarm beeping)
198
00:06:37,046 --> 00:06:38,563
Wait, a scissor lift?
199
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,306
(beeping)
200
00:06:40,459 --> 00:06:42,308
Come on, guys.
Shoot me in the face. Let's go.
201
00:06:42,385 --> 00:06:43,551
Flag on the play!
202
00:06:43,795 --> 00:06:45,462
Everybody back in the elevator.
We gotta do it again.
203
00:06:45,464 --> 00:06:47,572
NICK: And guys, seriously,
I need you more excited.
204
00:06:47,649 --> 00:06:49,074
This is your dream!
205
00:06:49,151 --> 00:06:50,800
What's the most excited
you've ever been?
206
00:06:51,486 --> 00:06:54,037
I once won a raffle
at a pet store.
207
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,249
Okay, well--well then,
channel that, then, all right?
208
00:06:57,325 --> 00:06:58,900
Back to one.
Let's do this again.
209
00:06:58,977 --> 00:07:00,419
I want to see
the excitement here.
210
00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:02,587
Come on!
211
00:07:02,664 --> 00:07:05,072
Whew. Why is this so small?
212
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:08,001
You said you liked it
when your hands looked bigger.
213
00:07:08,153 --> 00:07:09,653
You're right. I did say that.
Thank you.
214
00:07:09,671 --> 00:07:12,656
(edgy music)
215
00:07:12,674 --> 00:07:19,521
♪ ♪
216
00:07:23,092 --> 00:07:25,593
(snaps fingers)
You two, over here.
217
00:07:25,671 --> 00:07:26,611
Come on. No dawdling!
218
00:07:29,341 --> 00:07:32,117
We're casting
our principal roles.
219
00:07:32,194 --> 00:07:33,526
We're putting everyone
into groups of three.
220
00:07:33,679 --> 00:07:37,289
We have a Prince, a White Swan,
and a Black Swan.
221
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,183
Now, the Prince falls in love
with the White Swan.
222
00:07:40,185 --> 00:07:43,036
Then he leaves her
for the Black Swan.
223
00:07:43,188 --> 00:07:45,297
The classic,
tragic love triangle.
224
00:07:45,373 --> 00:07:46,447
Every group performs,
225
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,374
and that's how we find
our principals.
226
00:07:48,527 --> 00:07:50,284
You know, when I was coming up,
Dede Allen once told me...
227
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,045
NICK:
No, what is she doing?
228
00:07:52,197 --> 00:07:53,713
"In order to be a star,
you need three--"
229
00:07:53,865 --> 00:07:55,456
No! The football player. Cut!
230
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:57,309
Hi, I just have a--
I have a note on this group.
231
00:07:57,460 --> 00:07:58,977
Ladies, if you could step back
to the bar for me.
232
00:07:59,128 --> 00:08:01,146
Reggie, you stay there.
Come with me.
233
00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:02,814
Gabby. Here we go.
Look at this.
234
00:08:02,966 --> 00:08:04,316
(Reggie clapping)
235
00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:05,150
Hell, yeah!
236
00:08:05,301 --> 00:08:06,726
The Prince. The Black Swan.
237
00:08:06,878 --> 00:08:08,820
Brittney, come here, please.
238
00:08:08,897 --> 00:08:10,213
Thank you. You're over here.
239
00:08:10,232 --> 00:08:12,549
And White Swan. Look at that.
240
00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:13,808
-Perfect.
-Perfect.
241
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:14,659
Can I talk to you
for a moment?
242
00:08:14,736 --> 00:08:16,236
Always.
243
00:08:16,312 --> 00:08:18,905
Everybody else looks great.
244
00:08:19,057 --> 00:08:21,649
I'm Brittney Lovewell.
66,000 followers.
245
00:08:21,727 --> 00:08:23,059
And I'm verified.
246
00:08:23,078 --> 00:08:24,485
(mischievous music)
247
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,462
That's what's up.
248
00:08:27,958 --> 00:08:29,156
Uh, you're doing my job.
249
00:08:29,234 --> 00:08:31,009
Well, your job
is part of my job.
250
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:32,511
We're all executive producers.
251
00:08:32,662 --> 00:08:33,678
Who's in charge here?
252
00:08:33,755 --> 00:08:34,846
Me. Really, really me.
253
00:08:34,998 --> 00:08:36,239
And I need Gabby
254
00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:37,849
with the football player
that she's crushing on.
255
00:08:37,959 --> 00:08:39,684
Look, it's all--
it's all right there.
256
00:08:39,836 --> 00:08:41,911
And I need Brittney right here
257
00:08:41,913 --> 00:08:43,021
to make her feel insecure.
258
00:08:43,172 --> 00:08:45,081
It's a whole, uh--
it's a whole story arc.
259
00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:46,099
What's that got to do
with dancing?
260
00:08:46,175 --> 00:08:47,859
Nothing!
The show's not about dancing.
261
00:08:48,011 --> 00:08:49,510
I need people to bang.
I need tears.
262
00:08:49,588 --> 00:08:51,345
I need a fistfight.
I need an eating disorder.
263
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,198
Otherwise, why not just go to
the ballet and see Swan Lake,
264
00:08:53,349 --> 00:08:55,116
which, oh, my God, how boring.
265
00:08:56,111 --> 00:08:57,244
I don't like that girl.
266
00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,205
Gabby? Are you crazy?
I love her.
267
00:09:00,282 --> 00:09:02,023
I don't think she's a good
enough dancer to be here.
268
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,376
None of them are good enough
to be here.
269
00:09:04,527 --> 00:09:06,027
Look at that.
We just went in a circle.
270
00:09:06,104 --> 00:09:08,288
Again, the show
is not about dancing.
271
00:09:08,364 --> 00:09:11,216
Now, let's go back out there
and make an entertaining show
272
00:09:11,367 --> 00:09:13,001
that people
actually want to watch.
273
00:09:13,036 --> 00:09:15,945
(dramatic orchestral music)
274
00:09:15,964 --> 00:09:21,709
♪ ♪
275
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,953
We didn't come on this show
to be partygoer number five.
276
00:09:23,972 --> 00:09:25,138
No, we did not.
277
00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:27,473
-Let's be clear.
-Crystal.
278
00:09:27,626 --> 00:09:28,441
Ohh--
279
00:09:31,554 --> 00:09:34,297
I danced ballet in Montreal
from the time I was a baby.
280
00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:35,632
And it came to you naturally?
281
00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:38,276
I feel like I was dancing
already in my mom's belly.
282
00:09:38,428 --> 00:09:39,744
I was doing a...
(speaks French)
283
00:09:39,971 --> 00:09:42,305
Do you think there's a ballet
dancer inside of everybody?
284
00:09:42,307 --> 00:09:45,399
(classical music playing)
285
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:47,568
♪ ♪
286
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,569
No.
287
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:51,815
Five, six, seven, eight.
288
00:09:51,817 --> 00:09:52,832
One, two.
289
00:09:52,909 --> 00:09:55,652
Uh. Uh. Yeah, hi.
290
00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:57,487
-Um?
-Yes?
291
00:09:57,505 --> 00:10:01,766
Sorry, is it believable
that he would leave me for her?
292
00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:03,435
I'm just asking.
293
00:10:03,586 --> 00:10:05,103
GABBY: If I let girls
like her get to me,
294
00:10:05,254 --> 00:10:06,679
I would never leave the house.
295
00:10:06,832 --> 00:10:08,164
Whatever.
296
00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:09,924
I'm bringing
plenty to the table.
297
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,444
And she's also bringing plenty
to the table.
298
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,595
(muffled giggling)
299
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,115
Namely negative
female stereotypes
300
00:10:17,192 --> 00:10:19,342
and lotion that smells like
strawberries.
301
00:10:19,344 --> 00:10:20,434
Our background
is in ballroom dancing,
302
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,120
but we have
a solid ballet foundation.
303
00:10:22,271 --> 00:10:23,604
Plus, we were raised
to be winners.
304
00:10:23,682 --> 00:10:26,182
Oh, yeah, our mother,
she used to say,
305
00:10:26,184 --> 00:10:28,518
"It's either first place
or foster care."
306
00:10:28,536 --> 00:10:30,611
Remember she used to tell us,
"The only excuse for losing
307
00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:31,963
is getting shot in the face?"
308
00:10:32,115 --> 00:10:33,690
Yeah. And, "Failures sleep
in the garage."
309
00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:35,967
(both laughing)
310
00:10:36,044 --> 00:10:37,877
-She's great.
-Yeah, the best.
311
00:10:37,954 --> 00:10:39,012
Well, you know,
I'm determined to use this
312
00:10:39,122 --> 00:10:41,197
as an opportunity
to get back in the NFL.
313
00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:44,476
You know, in the past,
I've, uh, let myself get
314
00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:47,128
a little distracted by girls
and partying, but not anymore.
315
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:48,462
So have you ever seen
Swan Lake?
316
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,223
Yeah, yeah.
Gabby put me on that, man.
317
00:10:50,299 --> 00:10:53,042
That [bleep]
was boring as [bleep].
318
00:10:53,044 --> 00:10:54,152
SIMON:
And Julia, go. Julia, go.
319
00:10:54,303 --> 00:10:56,212
-Julia, go.
-JULIA: I'm going!
320
00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:58,214
SIMON:
Five and a-six and a-seven.
321
00:10:58,233 --> 00:10:59,491
-JULIA: That's not the count.
-SIMON: You were early, Julia.
322
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,826
JUSTIN: You're beautiful.
Don't worry about him.
323
00:11:01,903 --> 00:11:02,827
He's off. Look. Look at him.
324
00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:04,311
Excuse me,
you're pushing me.
325
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,646
I'm supposed to walk this way.
326
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:06,647
SIMON:
No, you're not.
327
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:07,982
Port de bras, Justin!
328
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,150
Port de what?
329
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,910
Your upper carriage.
Elbows lifted!
330
00:11:11,062 --> 00:11:13,487
Spine straight! Feet pointed!
331
00:11:13,565 --> 00:11:14,631
No, no.
332
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:20,053
Use the energy
in your midline to turn.
333
00:11:20,997 --> 00:11:22,305
I can spin on my head.
334
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:25,074
Not impressed.
335
00:11:25,093 --> 00:11:26,592
Have you tried it?
336
00:11:26,745 --> 00:11:27,911
Come on, boo. You can do it.
337
00:11:27,913 --> 00:11:28,761
You just gotta point
through your feet.
338
00:11:28,914 --> 00:11:29,854
Not your boo!
339
00:11:29,931 --> 00:11:32,265
Turns out
I'm really bad at ballet.
340
00:11:32,417 --> 00:11:34,842
Also, where did
he get the tutu?
341
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,510
Does he keep it in his car?
342
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:43,368
♪ ♪
343
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:50,875
WAYNE:
Mike?
344
00:11:51,027 --> 00:11:52,377
The Black Swan is calling.
345
00:11:52,528 --> 00:11:54,379
Yeah, yeah. No, I know.
I'm not doing that.
346
00:11:54,530 --> 00:11:56,289
-What do you mean?
-Yeah, what do you mean?
347
00:11:56,441 --> 00:11:58,274
I-I made a commitment
to my swan.
348
00:11:58,293 --> 00:12:00,701
I'm not just gonna run off
with some other swan, you know?
349
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:03,370
If it helps,
I'm fine with it.
350
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,723
PAULA:
I climbed the corporate ladder
351
00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:06,632
at an auto company.
352
00:12:06,785 --> 00:12:07,951
Wasn't easy.
353
00:12:07,969 --> 00:12:09,135
And then I beat cancer.
354
00:12:09,212 --> 00:12:10,453
I'm not gonna let this guy
355
00:12:10,472 --> 00:12:12,230
get in the way of me
getting a lead.
356
00:12:12,307 --> 00:12:14,215
Uh, what are you going to do
to get him to dance with you?
357
00:12:14,292 --> 00:12:16,217
I don't know.
Where does he hang out?
358
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,886
Hey, what if we got
stripper poles on the stage?
359
00:12:18,964 --> 00:12:20,313
Shut your mouth! No!
360
00:12:20,465 --> 00:12:22,482
Mike, Mike, Mike,
people want to see the story.
361
00:12:22,558 --> 00:12:25,818
Well, maybe people
want to see a stand-up guy
362
00:12:25,971 --> 00:12:28,805
who doesn't just
step out on his swan!
363
00:12:28,823 --> 00:12:30,473
How's that
for a positive message?
364
00:12:30,475 --> 00:12:33,234
Now we're cooking with gas.
This guy cheated on his wife.
365
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,069
MIKE:
I'm gonna take five, all right?
366
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,130
We've got a story.
367
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,001
NICK: We actually heard
that you're here
368
00:12:42,153 --> 00:12:43,261
-to try to get your wife back.
-Yeah, I am, I am.
369
00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:46,005
This is the--
this is the big idea.
370
00:12:46,082 --> 00:12:47,414
I think she's going to see
I'm a changed man.
371
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,175
-I'm off the couch.
-What was the problem?
372
00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:51,010
What went wrong
between you guys?
373
00:12:51,162 --> 00:12:53,179
Well, I was--
I worked at a factory, uh,
374
00:12:53,331 --> 00:12:55,256
I was a foreman
three years ago and...
375
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:56,441
-Wow.
-And, uh, my wife and I,
376
00:12:56,592 --> 00:12:59,018
we had a house,
we were planning a family,
377
00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:02,614
and then the--
the plant just--it closed.
378
00:13:02,723 --> 00:13:04,115
And then with COVID,
379
00:13:04,192 --> 00:13:08,161
I just started to feel,
you know, feel really small.
380
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,682
And then we just--buuuuh.
You know, we blew up.
381
00:13:12,684 --> 00:13:13,774
That's tough.
382
00:13:13,852 --> 00:13:15,109
Was there a third party
involved?
383
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,869
What? Why would you ask that?
384
00:13:16,946 --> 00:13:17,962
No, not to me. To over here.
385
00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:19,705
Why would you even ask that?
386
00:13:19,782 --> 00:13:21,282
Why would I ask that?
Why would I say that there?
387
00:13:21,359 --> 00:13:22,859
I don't want--I don't want that
on the show.
388
00:13:22,877 --> 00:13:24,118
It's okay. I think we're done.
389
00:13:24,195 --> 00:13:24,952
We got it.
We got everything we need.
390
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,362
Don't use that, please.
391
00:13:26,381 --> 00:13:28,548
NICK: We're just gonna take
your mic off, okay?
392
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,883
I'm sorry, man, I didn't--
didn't mean to cross the line.
393
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,201
I'm divorced.
People make mistakes.
394
00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:35,063
God knows I did, you know?
395
00:13:36,799 --> 00:13:37,982
MIKE:
Yeah.
396
00:13:38,134 --> 00:13:40,968
Oh, uh, well, I di--
397
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,278
I--one time, I did--
398
00:13:43,398 --> 00:13:45,472
I did make that mistake
with a coworker,
399
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:49,068
and if Paige ever found out,
it would be...
400
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:51,571
yeah, ha,
she'd never forgive me.
401
00:13:51,647 --> 00:13:52,831
I get it.
402
00:13:52,982 --> 00:13:55,408
So yeah, can't have that
on--on TV, you know?
403
00:13:55,484 --> 00:13:57,318
-You get it.
-NICK: No, I do get it.
404
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,245
But look, you gotta stop
beating yourself up
405
00:13:59,322 --> 00:14:00,839
-about it, huh?
-Yeah, I know. I know. I know.
406
00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:02,231
All right. Well, thanks, man.
407
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:03,324
-MIKE: Thanks.
-NICK: Yeah.
408
00:14:03,401 --> 00:14:04,734
-(thump)
-NICK: See you next time.
409
00:14:04,752 --> 00:14:05,593
NICK:
Watch your head.
410
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,431
-Did you get that?
-Yup.
411
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:13,685
BRITTNEY:
Two, three.
412
00:14:13,761 --> 00:14:15,186
Hey, Brittney. What's up?
413
00:14:16,431 --> 00:14:18,339
BRITTNEY: Oh my God,
are you following me?
414
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:22,602
Quit stalking me, you stalker.
You're freaking me out.
415
00:14:22,754 --> 00:14:25,846
(percussive music)
416
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:29,926
♪ ♪
417
00:14:29,944 --> 00:14:33,037
Oh, no. Gabby, come back.
418
00:14:34,949 --> 00:14:36,416
(groans)
419
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,287
JESSICA:
Who are you on?
420
00:14:41,439 --> 00:14:42,547
ALLY:
The Flute and the Tuba.
421
00:14:42,698 --> 00:14:44,123
JESSICA: Are you getting her
making googly eyes
422
00:14:44,275 --> 00:14:45,791
at the football player?
423
00:14:45,944 --> 00:14:47,443
We have like
an hour and half.
424
00:14:47,445 --> 00:14:49,946
Nick says whoever figures out
the baby daddy gets a bonus.
425
00:14:49,964 --> 00:14:52,557
ALLY: (whistles)
Seriously? Okay.
426
00:14:52,634 --> 00:14:54,041
How much?
427
00:14:54,119 --> 00:14:58,212
(punchy music)
428
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,397
Put me in a different group!
429
00:14:59,548 --> 00:15:00,790
Alan, what, we're just
letting them in now?
430
00:15:00,808 --> 00:15:02,567
Is that what's happening?
431
00:15:02,718 --> 00:15:04,977
-Get out of here, Gabby.
-I know what you're doing.
432
00:15:05,054 --> 00:15:06,237
Okay, what am I doing?
433
00:15:06,314 --> 00:15:07,405
You're casting me
as the big girl
434
00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:08,889
making googly eyes
at the football player
435
00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:10,241
who everyone will laugh at
436
00:15:10,318 --> 00:15:11,801
for thinking
that she can be the Black Swan.
437
00:15:11,803 --> 00:15:14,303
All right, you signed
a 20-page contract, so shut up.
438
00:15:14,322 --> 00:15:16,155
Also, that's a real
glass-half-empty POV.
439
00:15:16,307 --> 00:15:17,916
How about some self-esteem?
440
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:19,083
Don't deliberately put me
in a situation
441
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,476
that undermines my self-esteem
442
00:15:20,495 --> 00:15:22,478
and then ask me
why I have low self-esteem.
443
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,646
That's a fair point.
444
00:15:23,665 --> 00:15:25,089
But Gabby, I think people
are gonna love you,
445
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:26,573
and they're going to want
to know more
446
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:29,152
-about you and your son.
-My son is off-limits.
447
00:15:29,154 --> 00:15:30,261
And I'm not talking
about his father.
448
00:15:30,413 --> 00:15:33,156
He's not in the picture.
Stop asking.
449
00:15:33,158 --> 00:15:34,674
He's not in the picture?
Well, where is he?
450
00:15:34,826 --> 00:15:36,325
-He's in Europe.
-Wow.
451
00:15:36,344 --> 00:15:39,103
The country of Europe?
Where in Europe?
452
00:15:39,255 --> 00:15:40,513
I do this for a living, Gabby.
453
00:15:40,589 --> 00:15:43,015
Are you going to put me
in another group or not?
454
00:15:43,168 --> 00:15:44,425
I'm not.
But, so you know,
455
00:15:44,502 --> 00:15:46,927
you're not the only one
making googly eyes.
456
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,595
He is too.
457
00:15:48,673 --> 00:15:49,689
Really?
458
00:15:49,765 --> 00:15:51,507
Mm. Stop it.
459
00:15:51,509 --> 00:15:54,010
I know what you're doing,
and I'm not falling for it.
460
00:15:54,028 --> 00:15:55,769
Yeah, you are.
461
00:15:56,364 --> 00:15:58,030
Did you want this closed,
or...?
462
00:15:58,183 --> 00:15:59,606
Well, not now 'cause everyone
seems to come in here.
463
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,608
They say creativity flows
through an open door.
464
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,111
Literally, no one has ever
said that until you said it
465
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,339
right in my open doorway!
Close it!
466
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,284
JULIA: Well, I was working
at Saks in the '90s,
467
00:16:10,361 --> 00:16:12,286
and one day in walks
this really cute guy
468
00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:15,789
and asks me to help him
with a tie, right?
469
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,291
So I did.
470
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,202
And I think it--I think
it was the next day, wasn't it?
471
00:16:19,262 --> 00:16:22,629
That you came back in
and asked me to help him again,
472
00:16:22,707 --> 00:16:23,564
for another one.
473
00:16:26,969 --> 00:16:28,728
He ended up with so many ties.
How many was it?
474
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,304
I think--it was a lot.
It was a--
475
00:16:30,381 --> 00:16:31,397
It was, like, three.
It wasn't that many.
476
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,974
No, it was a lot.
It was more than that.
477
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:36,736
Anyway, he ended up
asking me out,
478
00:16:36,812 --> 00:16:39,055
and here we are, right?
479
00:16:39,057 --> 00:16:41,741
Sorry, can you excuse me
for just a sec?
480
00:16:41,817 --> 00:16:44,002
(tense music)
481
00:16:44,153 --> 00:16:45,336
Um...
482
00:16:45,563 --> 00:16:48,172
I am going to go check on him,
make sure he's okay.
483
00:16:48,324 --> 00:16:50,416
-NICK: Go ahead.
-So not like him.
484
00:16:50,493 --> 00:16:52,343
(clears throat)
I'll be right back.
485
00:16:54,739 --> 00:16:56,072
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
486
00:16:56,132 --> 00:16:57,590
Gonna shoot an empty couch?
Come on, come on.
487
00:16:57,742 --> 00:16:58,924
What's the first rule
of Fight Club?
488
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,594
-ALAN: Don't forget to--
-No, filming. Filming, Alan.
489
00:17:01,746 --> 00:17:03,579
What the hell was that, Kevin?
490
00:17:03,598 --> 00:17:04,564
I don't want to do this.
491
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,194
JULIA: Okay, it's not too much
to ask after what you did.
492
00:17:10,271 --> 00:17:11,678
KEVIN:
God, is this about the porn?
493
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,679
Who cares about the porn?
494
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,590
Porn? Did he just say porn?
495
00:17:14,609 --> 00:17:16,200
No, I think he said corn.
496
00:17:16,277 --> 00:17:18,036
Yeah, Alan, I mean,
they're screaming at each other
497
00:17:18,187 --> 00:17:19,278
over an undigestible vegetable.
498
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:20,872
No, I don't know,
but why would they do that?
499
00:17:20,948 --> 00:17:22,022
They know we're right here.
500
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,541
'Cause people are dumb,
that's why.
501
00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:25,434
We know what we shouldn't say,
and we say it anyway.
502
00:17:25,436 --> 00:17:27,119
We know what we shouldn't do,
and we do it anyway.
503
00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:29,863
You lead people to the cliff
and they will jump,
504
00:17:29,941 --> 00:17:31,624
every day, all day.
505
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:32,792
Okay, is this
about my social media?
506
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:34,443
Honey, I am trying
to normalize aging for--
507
00:17:34,445 --> 00:17:36,946
-Normalize aging? Come on!
-Yes!
508
00:17:36,948 --> 00:17:38,705
You are terrified
of getting old.
509
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,874
It's so obvious!
510
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,102
(sighs)
511
00:17:44,046 --> 00:17:46,564
I'm so unhappy
in this marriage.
512
00:17:46,715 --> 00:17:49,141
(solemn music)
513
00:17:49,218 --> 00:17:50,976
What are you saying?
You don't love me anymore?
514
00:17:51,053 --> 00:17:53,129
I don't even know
if I like you.
515
00:17:53,147 --> 00:17:55,147
I'm gonna get
a hotel this week
516
00:17:55,224 --> 00:17:58,968
then look for my own place.
517
00:17:58,986 --> 00:18:01,621
Your show's still out there.
You wanna go first or should I?
518
00:18:01,656 --> 00:18:03,331
Let's go.
519
00:18:07,161 --> 00:18:09,087
Hustle, but don't look like
you're hustling.
520
00:18:09,163 --> 00:18:10,379
-Alan--
-JESSICA: Alan!
521
00:18:11,983 --> 00:18:13,649
Hi. Uh...
522
00:18:13,668 --> 00:18:15,651
I am so sorry; we're gonna
have to cut this short.
523
00:18:15,653 --> 00:18:18,096
Kevin has food poisoning.
524
00:18:18,172 --> 00:18:20,264
-Is it the corn?
-JULIA: The what?
525
00:18:24,011 --> 00:18:26,270
-(classical music)
-Eyes up, Justin!
526
00:18:27,165 --> 00:18:29,923
Elbows lifted.
527
00:18:30,001 --> 00:18:31,258
Elbows lifted!
528
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,518
I don't know what her mother
did to her,
529
00:18:32,595 --> 00:18:34,445
but I need to write her
a thank-you note.
530
00:18:34,597 --> 00:18:36,339
Your posture's garbage!
Straighten that leg!
531
00:18:36,341 --> 00:18:38,691
-JUSTIN: It's straight.
-You're not even trying.
532
00:18:38,843 --> 00:18:40,343
JUSTIN: I'm working my ass off!
-MONICA: Well, I don't see it!
533
00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:41,935
I don't see
any connection, either!
534
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,621
Stop yelling at me!
535
00:18:43,772 --> 00:18:45,105
Stay framed up on them, guys.
536
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,125
I need crunchy singles
and a wide.
537
00:18:47,201 --> 00:18:50,711
Do the pirouette again.
538
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,861
(cheers and applause)
539
00:18:58,921 --> 00:19:02,390
(whooping)
540
00:19:12,301 --> 00:19:13,985
-NICK: Ah!
-What the hell!
541
00:19:14,061 --> 00:19:17,155
You do my choreography,
or you're out!
542
00:19:17,231 --> 00:19:19,382
-Oh my God, I love her so much.
-Don't pet the snake.
543
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,642
-What does that mean?
-You know what it means.
544
00:19:21,719 --> 00:19:23,219
Okay!
545
00:19:23,221 --> 00:19:25,812
Well, that's enough excitement
for today.
546
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,723
Why don't we pick this
all up tomorrow?
547
00:19:27,725 --> 00:19:29,083
(bell rings)
548
00:19:30,912 --> 00:19:33,171
Ugh, I feel so bloated.
549
00:19:33,322 --> 00:19:35,231
I had, like, two chips
at lunch,
550
00:19:35,249 --> 00:19:38,584
and I feel like
you can see them.
551
00:19:38,661 --> 00:19:40,845
Gabby, can you tell?
552
00:19:40,922 --> 00:19:42,680
No. I think you're good.
553
00:19:42,831 --> 00:19:44,331
Thanks.
554
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,576
I mean, you can't be a swan
with a burrito baby, right?
555
00:19:47,595 --> 00:19:51,597
I don't know, I think that
any of us could be a swan.
556
00:19:51,674 --> 00:19:53,024
You know, Brittney,
557
00:19:53,175 --> 00:19:55,359
I'm way more scared of these
other girls than I am of you.
558
00:19:55,511 --> 00:19:57,586
Shots fired!
559
00:19:57,605 --> 00:19:59,088
Whatever.
560
00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:01,774
That protein bar
is full of sugar.
561
00:20:01,850 --> 00:20:03,943
Oh my God, this bitch.
562
00:20:04,095 --> 00:20:06,353
Yeah, I-I think that we should
all be supportive and accepting
563
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,097
of each other's bodies,
don't you, ladies?
564
00:20:08,099 --> 00:20:12,025
Men pay 250 bucks
an hour to see this body.
565
00:20:12,103 --> 00:20:13,269
-Please.
-Okay, well, that's disgusting.
566
00:20:13,287 --> 00:20:14,879
TAMRA:
You make that much stripping?
567
00:20:14,956 --> 00:20:16,272
I'm in the wrong line of work.
568
00:20:16,290 --> 00:20:18,441
Stripping, porn,
endorsements, merch.
569
00:20:18,459 --> 00:20:20,701
I get 100 bucks a pop
for my used undies.
570
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,886
(stammering)
571
00:20:21,963 --> 00:20:23,387
I have so many questions
for you!
572
00:20:23,464 --> 00:20:25,389
TAMRA: Is it true that
they pay less for girl-on-girl?
573
00:20:25,541 --> 00:20:26,724
Can you walk me
through choking?
574
00:20:26,801 --> 00:20:28,041
'Cause I don't get that.
575
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:29,802
MIRIAM: How many UTIs
do you get a year?
576
00:20:29,878 --> 00:20:31,211
One at a time. One at a time.
577
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,972
I don't know why you guys
are so excited.
578
00:20:33,124 --> 00:20:34,640
You have sex
on camera for money.
579
00:20:34,792 --> 00:20:36,216
Remember, like, 30 seconds ago
580
00:20:36,294 --> 00:20:37,142
when we said we weren't
gonna judge each other?
581
00:20:37,261 --> 00:20:38,310
I'm not judging her body.
582
00:20:38,463 --> 00:20:40,312
I'm judging what
she does with it--harshly.
583
00:20:40,465 --> 00:20:43,574
I think what you do
is bad for women
584
00:20:43,651 --> 00:20:45,159
and bad for families too.
585
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:47,578
Mm. Bye, Karen.
586
00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:50,915
(apprehensive music)
587
00:20:51,066 --> 00:20:53,066
♪ ♪
588
00:20:53,144 --> 00:20:55,586
Are you okay?
589
00:20:55,663 --> 00:20:56,979
Not okay.
590
00:20:56,998 --> 00:20:58,330
Skeletor just threw
a chair at me.
591
00:20:58,483 --> 00:21:00,165
That's totally
going in the promo!
592
00:21:00,242 --> 00:21:03,168
She's hard on you because
she thinks you're talented.
593
00:21:03,321 --> 00:21:04,911
While they're setting me up
594
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:07,156
to be the sad girl
who's crushing on Reggie.
595
00:21:07,174 --> 00:21:09,825
You are crushing on Reggie.
596
00:21:09,827 --> 00:21:11,918
Well, he moved my hair
out of my face,
597
00:21:11,996 --> 00:21:13,012
told me I was pretty,
598
00:21:13,088 --> 00:21:14,921
and then lifted me
over his head.
599
00:21:14,999 --> 00:21:16,107
Yeah, that'll do it.
600
00:21:16,183 --> 00:21:18,851
Hey, Gabby!
Come check out my trailer!
601
00:21:18,927 --> 00:21:21,670
(upbeat music)
602
00:21:21,672 --> 00:21:23,281
Go!
603
00:21:23,357 --> 00:21:24,931
Call me later and tell me
what happened.
604
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,525
-Don't be weird.
-You don't be weird.
605
00:21:26,602 --> 00:21:27,526
Get in there!
606
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:32,181
Look at this.
The fridge is stocked.
607
00:21:32,199 --> 00:21:33,682
REGGIE:
Hell yeah, it is.
608
00:21:33,701 --> 00:21:35,793
And, um, there is chocolates.
609
00:21:35,944 --> 00:21:37,369
Show gave it to me.
610
00:21:37,522 --> 00:21:40,873
They gave you a vibrator.
I didn't get mine yet.
611
00:21:40,949 --> 00:21:42,216
-It's not a vibrator.
-(giggles)
612
00:21:43,861 --> 00:21:45,044
Here, let me show you.
613
00:21:45,196 --> 00:21:46,545
Hmm? Give me your IT band.
614
00:21:46,622 --> 00:21:48,364
No, because I already
called it a vibrator,
615
00:21:48,382 --> 00:21:49,790
so now it just seems sexual--
oh!
616
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,033
(chuckles)
617
00:21:51,052 --> 00:21:53,394
Oh, yeah that's good.
618
00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:57,982
So, you know
I quit my job for this show.
619
00:21:58,133 --> 00:22:00,042
So it's nice that
they gave the trailer
620
00:22:00,061 --> 00:22:02,636
to the cast member
most in need.
621
00:22:02,713 --> 00:22:04,322
Was that sarcasm?
622
00:22:04,473 --> 00:22:06,324
What, you think I'm just here
to eat chocolate?
623
00:22:06,475 --> 00:22:08,067
No, I think you came here
to eat chocolate
624
00:22:08,219 --> 00:22:10,219
and drink $10 coconut water.
625
00:22:10,221 --> 00:22:12,830
Hmm, I'm here
for a lot more than that.
626
00:22:12,907 --> 00:22:14,815
I lost a $13 million contract.
627
00:22:14,892 --> 00:22:16,392
(chokes, coughing)
628
00:22:16,410 --> 00:22:18,911
My agent says if I can stay off
TMZ for the next two months
629
00:22:19,063 --> 00:22:21,246
I might have a shot
at getting it back.
630
00:22:21,916 --> 00:22:23,990
Look, I know,
that's a dumb amount of money,
631
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,385
and I promise you
I am not a douche bag.
632
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:28,737
I know you're not.
633
00:22:28,756 --> 00:22:31,015
(Force MD's' "Tender Love")
634
00:22:31,166 --> 00:22:33,592
You want to grab some dinner
after the auditions on Friday?
635
00:22:33,669 --> 00:22:35,186
Sure.
636
00:22:35,337 --> 00:22:39,190
If I'm free,
which will likely be the case.
637
00:22:39,341 --> 00:22:42,068
So yeah, I'll--
I'll see you tomorrow.
638
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,197
See you tomorrow.
639
00:22:47,258 --> 00:22:48,774
SINGER:
♪ Moment to come ♪
640
00:22:48,926 --> 00:22:51,260
♪ So I can thank you ♪
641
00:22:51,278 --> 00:22:54,613
♪ For all the tender love
you've given to me ♪
642
00:22:54,690 --> 00:22:55,948
♪ ♪
643
00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:56,949
♪ Tender-- ♪
644
00:22:57,101 --> 00:22:57,875
(car alarm chirps)
645
00:22:58,026 --> 00:23:00,878
(inquisitive music)
646
00:23:01,029 --> 00:23:08,135
♪ ♪
647
00:23:10,131 --> 00:23:12,306
Hey, Mom,
where's the frozen mangoes?
648
00:23:15,469 --> 00:23:16,560
Oops. Pineapple.
649
00:23:20,625 --> 00:23:22,549
Mango.
650
00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:24,960
Mom, where is Dad?
651
00:23:24,962 --> 00:23:26,145
I told you,
he's on a business trip.
652
00:23:26,221 --> 00:23:27,738
He never goes
on business trips.
653
00:23:27,890 --> 00:23:29,798
Well, this was an emergency.
654
00:23:29,817 --> 00:23:31,150
So when is this vague
655
00:23:31,302 --> 00:23:33,744
emergency business trip
gonna be over with?
656
00:23:33,821 --> 00:23:35,061
I don't know.
657
00:23:35,139 --> 00:23:37,540
We'll have to see
how long this emergency lasts.
658
00:23:40,903 --> 00:23:42,128
Hey.
659
00:23:45,166 --> 00:23:46,665
being addicted to porn
660
00:23:46,817 --> 00:23:50,486
is a lot worse than
being addicted to social media.
661
00:23:50,488 --> 00:23:52,930
I mean, you can be
pretty annoying sometimes,
662
00:23:53,081 --> 00:23:55,766
but that must really suck.
663
00:23:55,918 --> 00:24:02,422
♪ ♪
664
00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:03,357
Thanks.
665
00:24:08,096 --> 00:24:09,113
JOEL: Hey, Mikey. Here you go.
666
00:24:09,264 --> 00:24:12,098
MIKE:
Over there in the--
667
00:24:12,176 --> 00:24:13,342
-Now light, light, light.
-MIKE: Yes.
668
00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:15,268
Think about jumping up,
not coming down.
669
00:24:15,346 --> 00:24:16,770
That's what I'm
talking about, bro.
670
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:17,938
-That's right, right?
-Feels good.
671
00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:19,682
How do you know all this?
672
00:24:19,684 --> 00:24:22,184
I watched Misty Copeland's
masterclass during lockdown.
673
00:24:22,203 --> 00:24:24,019
Yeah, how's the show
going, Mike?
674
00:24:24,038 --> 00:24:27,113
Bad--producer knows
that I cheated on Paige.
675
00:24:27,191 --> 00:24:28,857
-How would he know that?
-Well, because--
676
00:24:28,859 --> 00:24:30,025
Mike, I have to talk to you.
677
00:24:30,027 --> 00:24:31,710
-Yo, who's she?
-I got a problem.
678
00:24:31,787 --> 00:24:32,953
You're not dancing with me.
679
00:24:33,030 --> 00:24:35,380
-He won't dance with you?
-Why the hell not?
680
00:24:35,533 --> 00:24:36,474
He's the Prince,
and he's supposed
681
00:24:36,550 --> 00:24:37,808
to fall in love
with the White Swan
682
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,551
but then leave her for me,
the Black Swan,
683
00:24:39,704 --> 00:24:41,553
and he won't do it.
What are you guys drinking?
684
00:24:41,630 --> 00:24:42,963
Bottom shelf whiskey.
685
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,390
Can we get five shots of Jack?
686
00:24:45,543 --> 00:24:49,061
He doesn't think the Prince
would cheat on the Swan.
687
00:24:49,137 --> 00:24:51,304
Why does it always come back
to stupid Paige?
688
00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:52,990
ELLISON: You can't change
the story, man.
689
00:24:53,141 --> 00:24:54,808
That's why the producer
knows you cheated.
690
00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:55,993
You're dumb.
691
00:24:57,330 --> 00:25:00,389
-You cheated on your wife?
-It was one time, okay?
692
00:25:00,391 --> 00:25:02,574
And it was the biggest mistake
of my whole life.
693
00:25:02,727 --> 00:25:03,650
JOEL:
She doesn't know.
694
00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:04,576
He thinks doing this show
695
00:25:04,729 --> 00:25:05,669
is going to get her back.
696
00:25:05,746 --> 00:25:07,153
None of us think
that logic scans,
697
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:09,006
but we're being supportive.
698
00:25:09,157 --> 00:25:10,899
This is beginning
to make sense now.
699
00:25:10,901 --> 00:25:12,009
And I appreciate
the sentiment,
700
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,253
but listen,
you gotta dance with me
701
00:25:14,405 --> 00:25:18,407
because if you don't, neither
of us is gonna get a good part.
702
00:25:18,425 --> 00:25:21,001
Okay. Okay.
703
00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:22,427
Then let's rehearse.
704
00:25:22,580 --> 00:25:23,521
Huh? What? Now?
705
00:25:23,672 --> 00:25:25,414
JOEL: All right.
706
00:25:25,432 --> 00:25:26,081
Now.
707
00:25:26,100 --> 00:25:28,751
(singer vocalizing)
708
00:25:28,753 --> 00:25:35,574
♪ ♪
709
00:25:43,768 --> 00:25:45,284
JOEL:
Mike, you're not emoting.
710
00:25:46,194 --> 00:25:48,120
It's true, bro.
You're not giving me anything.
711
00:25:48,272 --> 00:25:50,530
I'm giving you
all I got here, all right?
712
00:25:50,608 --> 00:25:53,275
Do you feel a connection?
'Cause I certainly do not.
713
00:25:53,277 --> 00:25:54,868
You got to give me a minute
to warm up, all right?
714
00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:57,112
I'm still digesting
the mozzarella sticks.
715
00:25:57,131 --> 00:25:58,204
I didn't want to complain,
716
00:25:58,282 --> 00:25:59,448
but a little eye contact
would be nice.
717
00:25:59,541 --> 00:26:01,633
How can I possibly be
giving you more eye contact
718
00:26:01,710 --> 00:26:03,118
than I'm currently giving you?
719
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,304
You're looking at me,
but you're not looking at me.
720
00:26:05,380 --> 00:26:07,639
Where's the pathos, Mikey?
Where's the conflict?
721
00:26:07,792 --> 00:26:09,883
Okay, I have to admit,
722
00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:12,886
it's a little distracting
with Anthony in the role.
723
00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:14,980
ANTHONY: You're just
making excuses, doc.
724
00:26:15,057 --> 00:26:17,482
All right, you want
a little pizzazz?
725
00:26:17,635 --> 00:26:19,059
-How's that?
-All right. Wow, well done.
726
00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:20,244
Yeah, that's it.
Now, I'm giving it.
727
00:26:20,395 --> 00:26:22,079
ANTHONY: Now let
the pretty lady seduce you.
728
00:26:22,230 --> 00:26:24,064
Pretty lady.
Pretty lady over here.
729
00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:25,541
Pretty lady right here.
730
00:26:27,069 --> 00:26:30,737
There's a secret service agent
staring at us right now.
731
00:26:30,756 --> 00:26:32,590
Oh, that's my driver,
Franklin.
732
00:26:32,741 --> 00:26:37,702
You have a driver?
She's fancy. Hey, Franklin!
733
00:26:37,780 --> 00:26:38,837
(claps)
Again!
734
00:26:38,989 --> 00:26:41,156
SINGER:
♪ I had to make a glow ♪
735
00:26:41,158 --> 00:26:44,084
♪ I'm in love with you ♪
736
00:26:44,161 --> 00:26:46,495
♪ That I'm in love with you ♪
737
00:26:46,513 --> 00:26:47,996
♪ ♪
738
00:26:47,998 --> 00:26:50,999
♪ You sure can know me ♪
739
00:26:51,001 --> 00:26:56,004
♪ You just like a dream ♪
740
00:26:56,006 --> 00:26:57,356
That's what
I'm talking about, baby!
741
00:26:57,508 --> 00:27:00,266
-(crowd gasps)
-(clattering)
742
00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:01,677
-What the hell?
-Do my choreography or--
743
00:27:01,695 --> 00:27:03,120
Can I see?
744
00:27:03,197 --> 00:27:06,198
Hey. Yeah, sure.
Uh, you want a drink?
745
00:27:06,316 --> 00:27:08,000
-MONICA: Yeah.
-NICK: Yeah?
746
00:27:12,465 --> 00:27:14,006
Here you go.
747
00:27:17,285 --> 00:27:19,878
-(crowd gasps)
-(clattering)
748
00:27:20,030 --> 00:27:21,287
You look insane.
749
00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:23,223
And I mean that as
a compliment.
750
00:27:24,702 --> 00:27:26,126
Positive feedback's overrated.
751
00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:28,387
You have to maintain control.
752
00:27:28,539 --> 00:27:31,390
You're going to make
a wonderful mother someday.
753
00:27:31,542 --> 00:27:32,891
Wayne said
you injured your knee.
754
00:27:33,043 --> 00:27:34,818
True story?
755
00:27:35,011 --> 00:27:36,469
If I could dance on it,
I wouldn't be here.
756
00:27:36,489 --> 00:27:38,547
Well, you should talk
about that on camera.
757
00:27:38,565 --> 00:27:40,991
It'll give people some context
for your personality.
758
00:27:41,143 --> 00:27:43,118
Can I also shoot myself
on camera?
759
00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:45,996
Well, it's a little dark,
but I mean,
760
00:27:46,148 --> 00:27:48,123
I guess I could run it
by S&P, sure.
761
00:27:52,079 --> 00:27:54,579
(mischievous music)
762
00:27:54,732 --> 00:27:57,007
So how are you liking Detroit?
763
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,513
It's a cat box.
764
00:28:02,664 --> 00:28:05,224
How are we gonna get through
the next three months here?
765
00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:13,857
Hey, you're, uh...
(clears throat)
766
00:28:14,009 --> 00:28:14,766
you're consenting
to this, right?
767
00:28:14,919 --> 00:28:16,193
Shut up!
768
00:28:17,530 --> 00:28:20,054
MONICA: Do you have any idea
what it takes
769
00:28:20,056 --> 00:28:22,015
to dance these roles?
770
00:28:22,034 --> 00:28:23,409
None of you want it
bad enough!
771
00:28:29,934 --> 00:28:31,191
Julia, I feel like
772
00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:33,118
we're too worried
about how we're looking.
773
00:28:33,195 --> 00:28:34,861
I can't get this extension.
774
00:28:34,939 --> 00:28:36,046
Well, feel the story.
775
00:28:36,123 --> 00:28:38,623
The Prince promised
to love you forever,
776
00:28:38,776 --> 00:28:43,303
and now he's leaving you alone,
terrified, condemned.
777
00:28:49,562 --> 00:28:51,228
(bell rings)
778
00:28:55,217 --> 00:28:57,401
-WAYNE: Stand up.
-I'm sorry. I'm good.
779
00:28:57,552 --> 00:28:58,852
It's your process.
780
00:28:58,929 --> 00:29:00,720
You need it to look right.
Let's do it.
781
00:29:00,798 --> 00:29:02,114
-Here?
-Yes.
782
00:29:05,469 --> 00:29:07,819
I saw a little bit
of you background package.
783
00:29:07,972 --> 00:29:09,079
You okay?
784
00:29:09,231 --> 00:29:10,655
Well, my marriage
is falling apart
785
00:29:10,732 --> 00:29:11,415
and nobody likes me.
786
00:29:11,566 --> 00:29:12,975
I like you.
787
00:29:12,993 --> 00:29:15,419
You're just going through
a little bit of a transition.
788
00:29:15,570 --> 00:29:18,088
Kind of feels like
the whole world is right now.
789
00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:22,575
Transitions are hard
and unflattering.
790
00:29:22,653 --> 00:29:24,336
Hip down.
791
00:29:24,488 --> 00:29:25,304
Extend the arm.
792
00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:29,391
There. You're beautiful.
793
00:29:32,846 --> 00:29:34,313
(whispers) Thank you.
794
00:29:38,426 --> 00:29:42,354
I feel so old.
And I don't ever say that.
795
00:29:42,430 --> 00:29:45,173
I don't ever say that because
it feels like so many people
796
00:29:45,175 --> 00:29:47,600
just can't wait to say it,
but, I do, I feel old.
797
00:29:47,620 --> 00:29:50,345
(heartfelt music)
798
00:29:50,364 --> 00:29:51,288
Okay.
799
00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:55,183
Let's feel that.
800
00:29:55,202 --> 00:29:56,868
-Ooh. Huh.
-WAYNE: Hmm.
801
00:29:57,021 --> 00:29:59,521
What comes with age?
802
00:29:59,540 --> 00:30:03,041
Osteoporosis, arthritis,
803
00:30:03,193 --> 00:30:06,637
saggy boobs, lack of sex drive.
804
00:30:06,713 --> 00:30:08,496
Hmm. I was going to say wisdom.
805
00:30:08,498 --> 00:30:09,431
Well...
806
00:30:10,810 --> 00:30:12,518
I was going to say regret.
807
00:30:13,628 --> 00:30:14,561
Regret.
808
00:30:15,815 --> 00:30:17,556
My ex-husband is 28 years old.
809
00:30:17,708 --> 00:30:20,208
I married him because
I wanted to feel young.
810
00:30:20,227 --> 00:30:23,562
I wanted to hold on
to something.
811
00:30:23,638 --> 00:30:25,063
I called him Talentless Neil.
812
00:30:25,215 --> 00:30:28,992
He was beautiful, but he didn't
do anything but take my time,
813
00:30:29,144 --> 00:30:30,661
my money, everything.
814
00:30:30,737 --> 00:30:32,996
And at some point, I realized
815
00:30:33,106 --> 00:30:36,625
I don't want to go back.
816
00:30:37,895 --> 00:30:39,628
I want to go forward.
817
00:30:41,674 --> 00:30:43,423
Okay. Well, I'm scared.
818
00:30:45,069 --> 00:30:47,903
Isn't it a much
more exciting story
819
00:30:47,905 --> 00:30:50,330
if you don't know how it ends?
820
00:30:50,407 --> 00:30:51,423
No.
821
00:30:51,499 --> 00:30:53,308
(both laugh)
822
00:30:55,929 --> 00:30:58,914
(light music)
823
00:30:58,932 --> 00:31:02,434
♪ ♪
824
00:31:02,586 --> 00:31:04,252
Hey, friend.
825
00:31:04,254 --> 00:31:07,272
I-I just--I wanted to check in
about last night.
826
00:31:07,424 --> 00:31:09,199
I'm in the middle
of a custody battle
827
00:31:09,276 --> 00:31:10,868
and I got a lot riding
on the show,
828
00:31:11,019 --> 00:31:13,453
so I just want to make sure
that we're good.
829
00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:24,047
-NICK: Hey.
-You pet the snake, didn't you?
830
00:31:24,124 --> 00:31:26,199
-Hmm?
WAYNE: Stop pretending to text!
831
00:31:26,260 --> 00:31:28,276
You slept with your
subordinate in 2021?
832
00:31:28,295 --> 00:31:30,053
But, no, we're both EPs.
We're equal.
833
00:31:30,130 --> 00:31:31,446
Oh, that's not what
you said yesterday.
834
00:31:31,465 --> 00:31:34,040
But you better believe
you're equal now.
835
00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:35,875
Wow, that's--mm-mm.
836
00:31:35,953 --> 00:31:38,044
Hey, Nick, when are you
going to let me sleep with you?
837
00:31:38,063 --> 00:31:39,971
I want final say
on the costumes!
838
00:31:40,124 --> 00:31:46,528
♪ ♪
839
00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:54,077
Hey, what's the matter
with you?
840
00:31:54,229 --> 00:31:56,638
I-I don't want
to talk about it.
841
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:57,497
Why? What happened?
842
00:31:59,493 --> 00:32:00,167
Hey, Brittney.
843
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:04,162
I brought Reggie smoothies
like a total idiot,
844
00:32:04,314 --> 00:32:06,298
and Brittney was giving him
a blowjob.
845
00:32:07,742 --> 00:32:08,908
I'm so stupid.
846
00:32:08,928 --> 00:32:10,410
Wait, uh, were there
any cameras there?
847
00:32:10,487 --> 00:32:13,505
-What? No.
-We missed a BJ--unbelievable!
848
00:32:13,581 --> 00:32:15,991
Hey Nick, it's Alan's birthday.
There's donuts.
849
00:32:16,009 --> 00:32:17,175
Hey, Jessica,
Brittney just gave Reggie
850
00:32:17,252 --> 00:32:18,418
a mouth hug in his trailer
and we missed it.
851
00:32:18,437 --> 00:32:20,495
So I hope that's
the best donut of your life!
852
00:32:20,497 --> 00:32:21,754
I can't believe
I listened to you.
853
00:32:21,832 --> 00:32:24,182
It's 8:30 in the morning.
854
00:32:24,259 --> 00:32:25,425
This guy gets
Wednesday morning oral,
855
00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:26,526
and I haven't had sex in years,
856
00:32:28,522 --> 00:32:31,889
Okay, one, I don't think
the trailer ding dong party
857
00:32:32,042 --> 00:32:33,358
means that he's in love
with her in any way.
858
00:32:33,510 --> 00:32:34,934
And two, what does that
have to do with your dancing?
859
00:32:34,954 --> 00:32:37,788
Uh, I'm supposed to be sexy
and confident and seduce him?
860
00:32:37,939 --> 00:32:39,957
Hey, Nick! My mom sent donuts!
861
00:32:40,066 --> 00:32:41,607
I'm partial
to the chocolate myself,
862
00:32:41,627 --> 00:32:42,325
but I'm happy to share it.
863
00:32:42,478 --> 00:32:43,943
Hey, Alan, thanks so much.
864
00:32:43,963 --> 00:32:46,797
No, a sex act just occurred
between two of our cast members
865
00:32:46,873 --> 00:32:49,466
and this entire crew missed it!
866
00:32:49,617 --> 00:32:51,784
So call your mom and tell her
she just ruined the show!
867
00:32:51,804 --> 00:32:53,286
Will you stop
yelling at people?
868
00:32:53,305 --> 00:32:55,530
Hey, everybody needs
to do their job.
869
00:32:55,532 --> 00:32:58,291
My job is to start drama.
Their job is to shoot it.
870
00:32:58,368 --> 00:33:00,960
Your job is to try to get
a great part
871
00:33:01,038 --> 00:33:03,647
and not get distracted
by some stupid guy.
872
00:33:03,798 --> 00:33:05,131
Come on.
Now, do you want the part?
873
00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:09,060
Yes! I want the part!
I want it so much!
874
00:33:09,213 --> 00:33:10,470
So go get it.
875
00:33:10,489 --> 00:33:12,214
Yes, people can tell that
you have a crush on Reggie,
876
00:33:12,232 --> 00:33:13,639
and maybe some of them
will laugh at you,
877
00:33:13,659 --> 00:33:15,141
but it doesn't matter, come on.
878
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,660
You beat yourself up too much.
879
00:33:16,737 --> 00:33:18,311
Oh, am I being alive wrong?
880
00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:20,071
Yes, you are.
881
00:33:20,148 --> 00:33:22,315
Get mad at other people.
Get mad at me.
882
00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:24,650
Get mad at your son's
mysterious deadbeat dad.
883
00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:27,987
Get mad at whoever told you
that you are not sexy.
884
00:33:28,007 --> 00:33:30,490
You need to start
thinking about revenge.
885
00:33:30,509 --> 00:33:33,568
(punchy music)
886
00:33:33,587 --> 00:33:36,263
♪ ♪
887
00:33:37,499 --> 00:33:39,241
Sorry I'm late.
888
00:33:39,259 --> 00:33:43,912
Oh, my God, your skin
looks so good right now.
889
00:33:43,914 --> 00:33:45,439
Does my skin look that good?
890
00:33:47,267 --> 00:33:49,100
-What are we doing?
-I'm helping you.
891
00:33:49,253 --> 00:33:51,844
Because I'm the good twin,
and you're terrible.
892
00:33:51,864 --> 00:33:55,106
Okay, start in fourth position.
893
00:33:55,183 --> 00:33:56,883
Just do a quarter turn.
894
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:58,035
Don't be scared.
I'll do it with you.
895
00:33:58,186 --> 00:34:02,205
-Just a quarter turn?
-Yeah. Easy. And go.
896
00:34:06,119 --> 00:34:07,044
-Who are you?
-(Simon laughs)
897
00:34:07,195 --> 00:34:08,528
Has anything bad
ever happened to you?
898
00:34:08,605 --> 00:34:11,715
Uh, well, if you call almost
dying from meningitis
899
00:34:11,866 --> 00:34:13,866
when I was 13 bad, then yeah.
900
00:34:13,944 --> 00:34:15,052
Again, half turn this time.
901
00:34:15,203 --> 00:34:16,611
-I'm sorry.
-No, don't be.
902
00:34:16,630 --> 00:34:20,115
I had this terrible acne.
Okay, pull your shoulders back.
903
00:34:20,133 --> 00:34:22,041
Come on, chest up.
Stand like a lady, please.
904
00:34:22,061 --> 00:34:24,286
Don't--when did we
start touching?
905
00:34:24,288 --> 00:34:25,954
Oh, honey,
I'm not flirting with you.
906
00:34:25,972 --> 00:34:28,790
Even though it's super sexy how
uptight and judgmental you are.
907
00:34:28,792 --> 00:34:30,308
I'm not judging you, okay?
908
00:34:30,460 --> 00:34:32,460
Please, you have
so much internalized homophobia
909
00:34:32,479 --> 00:34:34,145
I don't know how you get
out of bed in the morning.
910
00:34:34,298 --> 00:34:36,631
So I'm gay and I'm homophobic?
911
00:34:36,633 --> 00:34:39,058
I said what I said.
912
00:34:39,078 --> 00:34:41,411
Full turn. Hey, eyes on me.
913
00:34:46,660 --> 00:34:48,143
Anyway, when I had meningitis,
914
00:34:48,145 --> 00:34:50,403
they gave me
these radioactive steroids.
915
00:34:50,422 --> 00:34:52,163
And when I emerged
from my medically-induced coma,
916
00:34:52,316 --> 00:34:54,257
I was a gorgeous butterfly
with perfect skin.
917
00:34:54,409 --> 00:34:55,317
Worth it.
918
00:34:55,335 --> 00:34:57,319
-That's beautiful.
-Thank you.
919
00:34:57,321 --> 00:34:59,096
You know, I actually think
that the swan spell in the show
920
00:34:59,289 --> 00:35:00,989
is an allegory
for childhood acne.
921
00:35:01,007 --> 00:35:02,340
Well, I know you think
that's a joke,
922
00:35:02,509 --> 00:35:04,584
but that's actually my secret
backstory for the Black Swan.
923
00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:08,605
So--okay, two turns this time.
Don't think about it.
924
00:35:08,756 --> 00:35:10,107
Just do it! Go!
925
00:35:12,260 --> 00:35:15,503
-Oh!
-That didn't suck.
926
00:35:15,522 --> 00:35:16,596
That was okay.
927
00:35:16,673 --> 00:35:17,948
One second, please.
928
00:35:18,099 --> 00:35:19,691
(Katy Perry's "Swish Swish")
929
00:35:19,809 --> 00:35:21,535
One sec.
I got to go do something.
930
00:35:23,938 --> 00:35:25,697
JUSTIN:
Just--just pass it.
931
00:35:25,849 --> 00:35:27,182
Jordan!
932
00:35:27,184 --> 00:35:30,794
KATY:
♪ Swish, swish, bish ♪
933
00:35:30,945 --> 00:35:32,963
Half-time show!
934
00:35:33,114 --> 00:35:35,448
(players clamoring)
935
00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:38,026
KATY:
♪ Can't touch this ♪
936
00:35:38,028 --> 00:35:39,711
♪ Another one in the casket ♪
937
00:35:39,787 --> 00:35:41,304
♪ ♪
938
00:35:41,456 --> 00:35:43,122
NICKI: ♪ Pink Ferragamo
sliders on deck ♪
939
00:35:43,142 --> 00:35:45,308
♪ Silly rap beefs
just get me more checks ♪
940
00:35:45,460 --> 00:35:47,218
♪ My life is a movie,
I'm never off set ♪
941
00:35:47,295 --> 00:35:49,387
♪ Me and my amigos
no, not off set ♪
942
00:35:49,464 --> 00:35:50,814
♪ Swish, swish, aw,
I got them upset ♪
943
00:35:50,965 --> 00:35:53,224
♪ But my shooters'll make 'em
dance like dubstep ♪
944
00:35:53,377 --> 00:35:54,709
♪ Swish, swish, aw,
my haters is obsessed ♪
945
00:35:54,728 --> 00:35:57,228
♪ 'Cause I make Ms,
they get much less ♪ ♪
946
00:35:57,305 --> 00:35:59,823
♪ Don't be trying
to double back ♪
947
00:35:59,900 --> 00:36:02,717
♪ I already despise you ♪
948
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:05,570
- Oh!
- Oh...
949
00:36:05,722 --> 00:36:07,313
♪ Yeah, all that fake love
you showin' ♪
950
00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:11,242
♪ Couldn't even disguise you,
yo ♪
951
00:36:11,319 --> 00:36:13,653
♪ Winning, lay 'em up like ♪
952
00:36:13,672 --> 00:36:15,730
♪ ♪
953
00:36:15,732 --> 00:36:17,841
♪ Swish, swish, bish ♪
954
00:36:17,992 --> 00:36:19,509
♪ Another one in the basket ♪
955
00:36:19,661 --> 00:36:23,087
♪ ♪
956
00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:24,997
♪ Can't touch this ♪
957
00:36:25,017 --> 00:36:26,558
♪ ♪
958
00:36:30,505 --> 00:36:33,598
(dramatic orchestral music)
959
00:36:33,750 --> 00:36:40,155
♪ ♪
960
00:37:11,012 --> 00:37:12,454
Please dance and cry
at the same time.
961
00:37:12,456 --> 00:37:15,306
Please dance
and cry at the same time.
962
00:37:15,383 --> 00:37:22,030
♪ ♪
963
00:37:22,741 --> 00:37:25,817
(rhythm picks up)
964
00:37:25,969 --> 00:37:32,624
♪ ♪
965
00:37:34,327 --> 00:37:36,002
(end notes)
966
00:37:38,257 --> 00:37:40,498
Come on, kid. Let's bring it.
967
00:37:40,650 --> 00:37:47,430
♪ ♪
968
00:37:47,582 --> 00:37:49,324
And...
969
00:37:49,326 --> 00:37:51,142
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
970
00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:12,163
WAYNE:
Bravo!
971
00:38:13,608 --> 00:38:14,791
Well done.
972
00:38:14,942 --> 00:38:16,626
MONICA:
Thank you.
973
00:38:16,778 --> 00:38:19,754
(overlapping chatter)
974
00:38:22,526 --> 00:38:23,691
I like the meter maid!
975
00:38:23,693 --> 00:38:25,951
Guys, shut up! Shut up!
Everybody shut up!
976
00:38:26,029 --> 00:38:28,013
This is not a democracy, okay?
977
00:38:29,975 --> 00:38:33,217
Except--except between the EPs.
Who are all equal.
978
00:38:33,370 --> 00:38:34,811
None of us has greater power
than the other,
979
00:38:34,888 --> 00:38:36,037
which is great--which is great
980
00:38:36,056 --> 00:38:38,556
and exactly
how it should be, okay?
981
00:38:38,708 --> 00:38:40,575
All right.
982
00:38:40,577 --> 00:38:44,395
Okay, why don't we write down
our choices and then compare?
983
00:38:44,548 --> 00:38:46,714
Thank you. Yes.
Do you need some paper?
984
00:38:46,733 --> 00:38:48,658
They have colored.
You want colored? It's good.
985
00:38:48,810 --> 00:38:51,328
WAYNE: You all should be
so proud of yourselves!
986
00:38:51,404 --> 00:38:53,979
You've exceeded
my expectations!
987
00:38:53,999 --> 00:38:55,223
You met mine.
988
00:38:55,225 --> 00:38:56,499
Okay, someone's hungry.
989
00:38:56,651 --> 00:38:59,985
Now, as you know, we are
casting the show gender blind.
990
00:39:00,063 --> 00:39:02,655
So you are eligible
for all roles,
991
00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:04,415
not just the ones you danced.
992
00:39:04,568 --> 00:39:09,512
So let's start with the role of
the Prince's mother, the Queen.
993
00:39:09,589 --> 00:39:10,722
That role will go to...
994
00:39:11,833 --> 00:39:14,242
(bell tolls)
995
00:39:14,244 --> 00:39:15,143
Great graphic.
996
00:39:16,746 --> 00:39:17,729
Julia.
997
00:39:19,249 --> 00:39:20,565
Come on up here, Julia.
998
00:39:22,009 --> 00:39:25,753
But, but, but,
we are throwing a curveball!
999
00:39:25,755 --> 00:39:28,198
Prince Siegfried
has two mommies!
1000
00:39:28,274 --> 00:39:30,108
Raven, come on up here!
1001
00:39:30,260 --> 00:39:31,350
Yes, you! Come, come!
1002
00:39:31,428 --> 00:39:33,286
announcer:
Two mothers.
1003
00:39:34,931 --> 00:39:35,930
Why not?
1004
00:39:35,949 --> 00:39:37,432
MONICA:
For the role of Benno,
1005
00:39:37,450 --> 00:39:40,952
the Prince's closest friend
and his wife...
1006
00:39:41,028 --> 00:39:44,029
WAYNE:
Mike and Paula! Lovely couple.
1007
00:39:44,049 --> 00:39:46,791
announcer:
Benno and his wife.
1008
00:39:46,943 --> 00:39:49,444
WAYNE: Now for our villain.
1009
00:39:49,462 --> 00:39:51,946
Reggie, you will play
the Wizard.
1010
00:39:51,965 --> 00:39:53,948
Come on up here.
1011
00:39:53,967 --> 00:39:55,207
I didn't know
there was a wizard,
1012
00:39:55,285 --> 00:39:56,726
but that's cool, though.
1013
00:39:56,878 --> 00:39:59,137
announcer:
The Wizard.
1014
00:39:59,289 --> 00:40:01,139
And now for the Prince.
1015
00:40:01,291 --> 00:40:03,141
(suspenseful music)
1016
00:40:03,293 --> 00:40:05,977
There were many
wonderful performances,
1017
00:40:06,129 --> 00:40:07,979
and as far as I am concerned,
you all--
1018
00:40:08,131 --> 00:40:09,814
It's Claude.
1019
00:40:09,891 --> 00:40:10,965
WAYNE: Yes, it's Claude.
Congratulations.
1020
00:40:10,984 --> 00:40:12,984
announcer:
The Prince.
1021
00:40:13,136 --> 00:40:17,288
Now for the seductive
Black Swan.
1022
00:40:18,900 --> 00:40:20,141
Again, this was not an easy--
1023
00:40:20,143 --> 00:40:21,334
Simon. It's Simon.
1024
00:40:22,996 --> 00:40:24,403
WAYNE:
Congratulations, Simon.
1025
00:40:24,423 --> 00:40:27,048
announcer:
The Black Swan.
1026
00:40:28,835 --> 00:40:32,679
Now for the tragic White Swan,
it came down to two.
1027
00:40:34,658 --> 00:40:37,559
Gabby and Brittney.
1028
00:40:39,829 --> 00:40:42,013
-Brittney. Congratulations!
-(Brittney screaming)
1029
00:40:42,165 --> 00:40:44,607
announcer:
The White Swan.
1030
00:40:48,672 --> 00:40:51,689
The rest of you will be
wedding guests and swans.
1031
00:40:51,841 --> 00:40:54,701
Oh, wait, I almost forgot
the most important role.
1032
00:40:55,770 --> 00:40:57,704
Gabby! Come up here.
1033
00:41:01,943 --> 00:41:05,277
You are the understudy!
1034
00:41:05,297 --> 00:41:08,581
announcer:
The understudy.
1035
00:41:08,633 --> 00:41:10,692
For what part?
1036
00:41:10,694 --> 00:41:14,028
All of them.
You will learn every role.
1037
00:41:14,047 --> 00:41:17,882
And in the unlikely event
that someone can't perform,
1038
00:41:18,034 --> 00:41:21,478
it will be your time to shine.
1039
00:41:21,629 --> 00:41:23,229
Congratulations!
1040
00:41:32,232 --> 00:41:34,324
Hey, good job today, Gabby.
1041
00:41:34,475 --> 00:41:36,976
Not good enough.
Was that Monica's idea?
1042
00:41:36,995 --> 00:41:39,979
No, that was--it was my idea.
And it's genius.
1043
00:41:39,998 --> 00:41:42,056
You have to learn
all of the parts.
1044
00:41:42,075 --> 00:41:43,057
That sucks for you.
It's perfect.
1045
00:41:43,076 --> 00:41:45,560
Look, everybody loves
an underdog.
1046
00:41:45,562 --> 00:41:47,395
I've been doing this
a long time, Gabs.
1047
00:41:47,397 --> 00:41:49,339
Keep your eye on the prize.
1048
00:41:49,490 --> 00:41:51,249
REGGIE: Yo, you were
amazing out there!
1049
00:41:51,325 --> 00:41:54,135
It's like--like we were
connected, you know?
1050
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:56,679
We still getting dinner?
1051
00:41:56,831 --> 00:41:59,432
Oh, uh, you know what?
1052
00:42:00,519 --> 00:42:02,593
I forgot I had plans
with some friends.
1053
00:42:02,746 --> 00:42:05,730
-Shoot.
-Oh, okay.
1054
00:42:06,766 --> 00:42:08,507
Maybe another time then.
1055
00:42:08,527 --> 00:42:10,276
Yeah, maybe.
1056
00:42:13,031 --> 00:42:14,197
Ah! God! Hi.
1057
00:42:16,517 --> 00:42:17,592
It's going to happen again.
1058
00:42:17,610 --> 00:42:19,427
But you won't know when.
It's not forever.
1059
00:42:19,429 --> 00:42:21,429
How long will it last?
I'll decide.
1060
00:42:21,431 --> 00:42:23,540
You will never have
my phone number.
1061
00:42:23,691 --> 00:42:25,099
Your phone number's
on the call sheet.
1062
00:42:25,118 --> 00:42:26,191
That's not my real
phone number.
1063
00:42:26,211 --> 00:42:27,544
You will never initiate
an encounter,
1064
00:42:27,695 --> 00:42:29,879
and I will never spend
the night with you.
1065
00:42:30,031 --> 00:42:31,548
You--you want
to come over tonight--
1066
00:42:31,699 --> 00:42:33,132
I just said
you don't get to initiate.
1067
00:42:34,886 --> 00:42:36,294
-Anything else?
-Yes.
1068
00:42:36,446 --> 00:42:39,781
If anyone finds out about us,
you'll never touch me again,
1069
00:42:39,799 --> 00:42:41,683
and I'll ruin you.
1070
00:42:43,878 --> 00:42:45,636
Oh, and I liked it
when you pulled my hair.
1071
00:42:45,789 --> 00:42:48,147
Do that again. Not now!
1072
00:42:51,127 --> 00:42:52,527
Wayne knows!
1073
00:42:56,466 --> 00:42:58,633
I'm so dumb.
1074
00:42:58,651 --> 00:43:01,393
(dramatic classical music)
1075
00:43:01,413 --> 00:43:08,251
♪ ♪
1076
00:43:19,747 --> 00:43:21,747
(upbeat music)
1077
00:43:21,766 --> 00:43:28,980
♪ ♪