1 00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:05,254 ♪ Hold up ♪ 2 00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:06,464 ♪ Every day, I wake up ♪ 3 00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:07,632 ♪ Wake your ass up ♪ 4 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:08,966 ♪ "The Breakfast Club" ♪ 5 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,301 Are y'all finished or y'all done? 6 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:11,427 Morning, everybody. 7 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,720 It's DJ Envy, 8 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,639 Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne Tha God. 9 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,349 We are "The Breakfast Club." 10 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,809 And we got a special guest in the building, Deborah Vance. 11 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,019 Hey. What's up, y'all? 12 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,313 And please call me Deborah Tha God. 13 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:25,650 OK, so, Deborah, talk to us. 14 00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:27,193 You had this crazy noncompete for how long? 15 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,528 - 18 months. Yeah. - Mm. 16 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,862 Year and a half, I wasn't legally allowed 17 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,322 to perform or speak publicly. 18 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:32,782 And the one time I did, I went to jail. 19 00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:33,824 - Damn. - Damn. 20 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:35,493 But that expired at midnight. 21 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,328 And I knew that the first place I wanted to break my silence 22 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,621 was here at "The Breakfast Club" 23 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,331 with my good friend Charlamagne. 24 00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:41,541 Yes, indeed. 25 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,875 Wow, people don't know y'all go way back. 26 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,043 - Yes, we do. - No, it's true. 27 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,586 We actually co-own a racehorse. 28 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,338 Her name's Wheat Thin. Here, I'll show you. 29 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,422 Yeah, she's a sweetheart-- 30 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:49,674 terrific spirit, beautiful mane. 31 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,092 Yeah, she's work hard, play hard. 32 00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,510 - Go, Wheat Thin, OK. - Yeah. 33 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:53,844 That's where Jess get her hair from. 34 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,346 - Don't do me. - Whoa. Whoa. 35 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,265 But people don't want to hear about Wheat Thin. 36 00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,976 They want to hear about your sold-out show next Thursday 37 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,519 at Madison Square Garden. 38 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,145 How does that feel? That's, like, the pinnacle 39 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,647 for a stand-up comic. - Yeah, it is. 40 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:05,982 You know, when I quit "Late Night," 41 00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:07,400 I kind of took a hit publicly. 42 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,859 And I wasn't sure I could sell it out. 43 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,194 But you didn't just sell out. 44 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,696 You sold out in, like, 10 minutes, right? 45 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,239 Yes, I did. 46 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,616 Damn, those tickets moved faster than Wheat Thin. 47 00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:18,202 So you got a week left until the show. 48 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,829 What are you doing to prepare? 49 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,247 Uh, it's kind of rigorous, Envy. 50 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,457 I've got a trainer, a physical therapist, 51 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,585 a choreographer, a vocal coach. 52 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,379 We're just working nonstop to make sure this is the best 9/11 53 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:29,880 that New York has ever had. 54 00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:32,049 - Huh? - We're so happy to see you. 55 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,218 And I'm glad that you came to stop past us. 56 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,761 My honor. I am a long-time member 57 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,555 of "The Breakfast Club" Nation. - OK. 58 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:40,600 Now, are you really listening for us or the music? 59 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,018 Both. 60 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:43,603 My friend Kiki's turned me on to all the greats. 61 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,230 I've got That Mexican OT on heavy rotation. 62 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,398 OK. 63 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:50,443 BigXthaPlug, Nine Vicious, 1900Rugrat. 64 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,736 OK. 65 00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:53,112 Hey, can we go out on a little GloRilla? 66 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,905 - Not Big Glo. - Yes, Big Glo. 67 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:55,990 All right, let's play some Glo. 68 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,408 Let's play "Let Her Cook." 69 00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:59,243 ♪ Uh, let her cook, whoo ♪ 70 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,203 ♪ Big Glo comin' through fryin' shit ♪ 71 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,747 ♪ Let her cook, whoo ♪ 72 00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,790 ♪ All this sauce, I'm trying shit, hoo ♪ 73 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,251 ♪ Let me cook ♪ 74 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,216 ♪ Mornings turn to night ♪ 75 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,927 ♪ And then the night becomes the day ♪ 76 00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:20,514 ♪ I can't keep up with time ♪ 77 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:21,807 The hydraulic lift is bringing me 78 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,851 up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. 79 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,603 I'm thinking this'll look way too far upstage. 80 00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:26,937 Can we move this down? Let's say 3 feet. 81 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,773 Let's try that. Remark it. Thank you. 82 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,149 ♪ Not a captive ♪ 83 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,444 ♪ If it's where I want to be ♪ 84 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,279 ♪ Ooh, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 85 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:38,658 Ah. 86 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:41,160 Ha, ha, ha, hoo, hoo, hoo. 87 00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:50,795 Hello, Madison Square Garden. 88 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,171 I'm back from the dead. 89 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,631 And just like Jesus, 90 00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:56,300 I love having 12 gay guys over for supper. 91 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,301 This lining has to change. 92 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,511 I just-- - We're changing it. 93 00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,804 But it needs to change, like, now, 94 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,138 because I have to rehearse in it. 95 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,181 This is the stuff that's making me nervous. 96 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,307 Thank you, New York. 97 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:04,642 I'm still Deborah Vance. 98 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,143 Good night. 99 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:09,522 ♪ Can't be a slave if I'm already free ♪ 100 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,940 ♪ Can't be a ♪ 101 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,942 And then at that point, I am Jesus on the cross. 102 00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,319 And here come my three wise men, and-- 103 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,073 ♪ Who's gonna catch me when I fall down ♪ 104 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:22,576 Ah. 105 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,994 Hello, New York! 106 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,832 What's up, New York? 107 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:33,130 What's good, New York? 108 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,067 Nice shot. 109 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,610 Come on, get up there. Phew. 110 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:59,697 That's the way--oh. 111 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,699 Ah. 112 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,200 Hey, good-looking. 113 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,702 You ready to rock the Garden? 114 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,203 Almost. 115 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:07,830 I'm just having trouble sleeping. 116 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,165 And I don't want to take Ambien this week 117 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,666 'cause I need to stay sharp. 118 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,252 - Sure. - I just really need my rest. 119 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,212 And there's really only one other thing 120 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,548 that helps me sleep deeply. 121 00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:20,426 Deborah Vance, is this a booty call? 122 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,303 Oh, don't be tacky. 123 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,221 Just get in your private jet and get over here. 124 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,431 Wheels up! 125 00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:35,733 So for a generation without economic stability 126 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:39,236 and so few job prospects, the small things 127 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,447 become the only things that we can control. 128 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:44,575 And the biggest question becomes, 129 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,911 who is making dinner? 130 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,789 Aw! 131 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,290 Well-told. 132 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,750 She is the best, truth teller. 133 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,085 Thank you. Oh, thank you. 134 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,295 Yeah. 135 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,005 Well, listen, in any other situation, 136 00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:01,133 I would say, you know, give us a beat to discuss. 137 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,136 But since we already have a deal with you, 138 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,679 I'm just gonna be real. 139 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:10,726 I don't know why you need to tell this story. 140 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:14,939 Yeah, I guess because I thought of the idea 141 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:17,608 and brought it on down to you. 142 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:20,069 - Sure, sure. - Had to--yeah, that's why. 143 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,946 I just kind of feel like a lot 144 00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:25,574 of writers of your generation could do this show. 145 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,118 Sure, yeah, I guess what makes me feel 146 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,453 best suited to tell this story... 147 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,871 - Uh-huh. - Is that I feel like I can 148 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,873 balance communicating the crushing weight 149 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:36,335 of this economic system with the hard comedy... 150 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,461 Right. 151 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:39,004 And sort of the real characters. 152 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,464 Yeah, with her, you're gonna get the funny. 153 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,258 And you know they passed on "Friends" six times 154 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,509 before they made "Friends." 155 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,135 And then there was "Friends." - Yeah. 156 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:49,473 And this is better than that, depending on casting. 157 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,599 I hear you. 158 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,476 It just--it doesn't feel personal. 159 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,144 - OK. - Listen, we love you. 160 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:57,189 We are so excited about you. 161 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,983 But this idea specifically, 162 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:02,152 it's just not sparking joy for me. 163 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,905 Oh, crap. 164 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,323 Ay. 165 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:07,408 Not this one. 166 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,826 Do you have anything else? 167 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,327 - Um-- - She does. 168 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,788 She's got--you have so many ideas that it's honestly-- 169 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,457 she's like Shakespeare on crack, but not on crack 170 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,792 'cause she doesn't have a problem. 171 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,002 But if Shakespeare were a woman, 172 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,837 which maybe she was... - Maybe. 173 00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:22,298 She is like that-- crazy amount of ideas, 174 00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:23,883 some of them new, some of them old. 175 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,676 Some of them IP, if you want that, and some of them not. 176 00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:27,177 - OK. - So we're gonna regroup. 177 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,512 We're gonna talk about it. 178 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,930 We're gonna figure out what makes sense for you. 179 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,098 We're gonna bring it back. - Yeah. 180 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,182 And it's gonna be good. 181 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,684 I love this. I love this. 182 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,352 This is sparking joy. 183 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,395 Yay. 184 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,605 I'll bring you something else. 185 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,481 Please do. 186 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:44,904 ♪ Sometimes I wonder what I'd do ♪ 187 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:48,866 ♪ Without your love, yeah ♪ 188 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:51,702 ♪ Without your love, baby ♪ 189 00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:52,870 ♪ Somebody help me now ♪ 190 00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:55,372 Ah, damn it. 191 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,920 Sorry. Sorry. 192 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:05,925 - Good morning. - Morning. 193 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:06,926 Sleep well? 194 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,260 I did. 195 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,598 Ay-yi-yi. 196 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,267 I-- - No, it's OK. It's OK. 197 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,602 Hey, Tyler. 198 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,730 How you doing? 199 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,065 Uh-huh. 200 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,567 Sure. 201 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:27,029 Uh... 202 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,572 Severance package? 203 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:31,408 What? - Oh, God. 204 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:34,912 Put out to pasture by a bunch of dorky computer kids. 205 00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,413 I've always hated computers, by the way. 206 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,123 Oh, they've ruined everything. 207 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:42,586 Deborah, I think this might be ageism. 208 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,047 Yeah, well, welcome to the club. 209 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,633 I mean, you're 40 years behind, but we're happy to have you. 210 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,094 I've given 35 years to the Palmetto. 211 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,553 I helped build that fucking place! 212 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,263 I get it. 213 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,140 It's terrible. 214 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,813 What the hell am I gonna do now, Deb? 215 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:04,358 I don't know. I'm sorry. 216 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:06,151 I hate to say this, but I gotta go get ready. 217 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,987 I gotta rehearse. Tell you what. 218 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,530 Why don't you stick around for a few days? 219 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:10,990 Come and see the show. 220 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,616 You think I wasn't gonna stick around 221 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,827 to see you play the Garden? 222 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,245 Come on. 223 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:19,456 Course you are. 224 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,125 It's gonna be OK. 225 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,127 Yeah. 226 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:24,503 It is. 227 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,588 You take it from me. 228 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:33,303 OK. 229 00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,146 When I'm hungry, my whole personality changes. 230 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,397 They'll be here in five minutes. 231 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:44,648 I ordered the polenta fritters. 232 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,066 And where the hell is our waitress? 233 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,484 - Honey, calm down. - God damn it. God-- 234 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,736 - Shh. - Oh, wait, there she is. 235 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,529 There she is. - Hello. 236 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,032 - Ava. - Hi. 237 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,658 - This is Jack. - Hi. 238 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:58,328 Jack, this is my daughter, Ava Cecilia. 239 00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,747 Confirmation name, not real. 240 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,957 But nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. 241 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,709 So will Deborah be having 242 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,462 a red carpet experience for her show? 243 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,006 Because Jack and I recently, we broke the seal 244 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,842 as a public couple when we were photographed 245 00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:14,219 at the National Windsurfing Awards dinner. 246 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,472 - Wow. - Jack's a grandmaster. 247 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,849 He was ranked fifth nationally. - Oh! 248 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,517 Yeah, he was dating another windsurfer. 249 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,019 And I just--I stole him. 250 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,062 Took me away. 251 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,688 I just--I blew his mind. 252 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,858 It's wild times. - Totally. 253 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,361 Crazy behavior. 254 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,863 So hot. 255 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,239 - It's just unbelievable. - Would you stop? 256 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,240 Oh, sorry. 257 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,201 So how did your pitch go? 258 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,702 It didn't go well. 259 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,038 It's not looking like I'm gonna have a show. 260 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,206 What? 261 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,707 Don't they know how brilliant you are? 262 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,125 Oh, come on. 263 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,211 I have an idea for a show about a windsurfer. 264 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,881 Matthew McConaughey, he'd be great for it. 265 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,550 That actually sounds really sellable. 266 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:54,760 - Ooh! - Really? 267 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,553 Yeah. This is how it happens, honey. 268 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:59,389 Yeah, no, no, Ava knows people. She'll get it done. 269 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,225 Who should he email? 270 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,897 I mean, it sucks. 271 00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,774 I had tons of episode ideas, and I didn't even get to them. 272 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,026 I'm sorry. They're idiots. 273 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,070 Thank you. Yeah. 274 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,114 I mean, I'll figure something out, but-- 275 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,615 Can you pass me the phone? 276 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,283 Your phone or my phone? 277 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:21,078 The phone. I want to order room service. 278 00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:22,621 Oh, no, you don't order room service on the phone. 279 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,125 You scan it with, like, a QR code on your phone. 280 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:31,421 So if I want to order room service, 281 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,090 I can't use the phone? 282 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,091 No. 283 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,759 I have to use my phone? 284 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:36,844 Yeah. 285 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,762 But I can't call anybody? 286 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:41,098 Right, yeah. No. 287 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,392 You know, it's no wonder you people are all autistic now. 288 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,978 You never talk to anyone. 289 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,730 I need to start wearing a body cam around you, girl. 290 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:52,276 Jesus Christ, the stuff you're freaking saying. 291 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,944 Do not drink that. 292 00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:55,279 What? Why? 293 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,489 No, never pull a beverage from the minibar. 294 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,283 It is marked up 700%. 295 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,534 I don't want to get ripped off. 296 00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,952 No, I'll have Damien go to Duane Reade 297 00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,453 and get you one if you really want one. 298 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:04,705 OK. 299 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,206 So I can't have it? 300 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,961 Well, since you don't usually reach for the sugar-free, 301 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,671 I guess I should reward that. 302 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,131 This time, I'll allow it. 303 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:26,185 Oh, my God, I--I'm gonna head to my room really quickly. 304 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,269 Are you good here? 305 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,520 Ugh, I don't know. 306 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,689 I don't know. I don't know. 307 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,941 Hey. 308 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:36,653 You're gonna kill tomorrow. 309 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,197 Thanks. 310 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,407 OK. Good night. 311 00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,494 I know. 312 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,148 Good morning, New York City. 313 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,691 It's hotter than hell out there, 314 00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,485 but thankfully, we've got some sweet relief 315 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:19,363 from the diva herself, Deborah Vance. 316 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,699 She's finally laying it all out there tonight at MSG. 317 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,326 And I'd tell you to get your tickets now, 318 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,037 but everyone knows the show sold out in record time. 319 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,413 So if you want to bear witness, 320 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,708 you better find a scalper, stat. 321 00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:36,713 You know, I realized you're right. 322 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:37,923 I don't know what it's like 323 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,549 being a young person with friends. 324 00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:41,718 I have one friend, and she's 70. 325 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,220 Funny. 326 00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,930 I've been living with Deborah over the past few years, 327 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,057 so the show would be about that--- 328 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:48,725 two women from different generations 329 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,435 who live together and become friends. 330 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,895 OK, go on. 331 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,814 I have a ton of episode ideas already. 332 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,941 Like, imagine you're trying to hook up with someone, 333 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,068 but your roommate is in the next room on speakerphone 334 00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:00,070 'cause she literally doesn't know how to turn it off. 335 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:03,573 Oh, my God, I can see that. 336 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:06,576 They butt heads a ton on politics 337 00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:11,206 and etiquette and fashion, but... 338 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:13,083 at the end of the day, they help each other 339 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:16,044 see the world differently, and... 340 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,963 they both become better people for it. 341 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,257 Ava, I love this. 342 00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,758 I love this. 343 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,927 It's based off of real experiences you've had, 344 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,555 clear character games, but still IP. 345 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:27,889 Can you do me a favor? 346 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,433 Can you please write a one-pager? 347 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,435 I already did it. I'll send it right now. 348 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:32,561 Amazing. 349 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,645 Well, turns out, we're only doing 350 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,105 one comedy pilot this year, 351 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,898 so a lot of people have to weigh in. 352 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,734 But I'm going to do my very best to push it through. 353 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,319 Stay tuned. 354 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,113 Great. 355 00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,704 - She's here. - Oh, oh, oh! 356 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:52,622 Hi, my Little Debbies. 357 00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:53,832 How are we? 358 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,459 Well, not great. 359 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,252 None of us could get tickets. 360 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,296 We were trying to find scalpers to buy some, 361 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,797 but we couldn't find any. 362 00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:01,965 None of you? 363 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,259 No. They sold out too fast. 364 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,053 That's terrible. 365 00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,554 Damien, you know, we gotta help them out. 366 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,014 - On it. - Don't forget. 367 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,349 I'm live streaming the whole show 368 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,851 on Deborah Plus. 369 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,771 Love you. Love you guys. 370 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:19,107 Oh. 371 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,199 Oh, and I talked to the video playback guy, 372 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,367 so we're all set there. 373 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,327 Fabulous dabulous. 374 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:38,126 I am addicted to carrots. Yum. 375 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,211 The job at "Late Night" 376 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,629 wasn't all it was cracked up to be. 377 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,130 It's not that much fun to do something 378 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,508 no woman has done before, except George Michael. 379 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,884 That was fun. - It's great. 380 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,844 Now, I know it's crazy to go back now, 381 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,513 but is Ricky Martin funnier? 382 00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:50,680 Well, it depends. 383 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,850 Have you had sex with Ricky Martin? 384 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,018 Wow. 385 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,228 She bangs, indeed. 386 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,438 You are overthinking, OK? 387 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,023 Don't change a thing. The hay's in the barn, doll. 388 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,775 OK, OK, OK, OK, OK. 389 00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,193 - Hey. - Hey. 390 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,028 So MSG just flagged that they've opened the doors, 391 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,739 but they're not seeing the foot traffic they normally do. 392 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,866 That's what felt off. I don't hear a crowd. 393 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,868 - Mm. - Well, what is going on? 394 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,745 I mean, is there a subway strike or something? 395 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,205 I don't think so. 396 00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:16,665 It looks like there's no issue 397 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,208 with the subways or transportation or anything. 398 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,543 Yeah, there's no protest. 399 00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:20,877 You know, I can't prove it, 400 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,712 but I know that Joy Behar is behind this. 401 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:26,216 She has come from me for the last time, I swear to God. 402 00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:27,551 Come on. 403 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,678 OK, I think we should spread out. 404 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,990 Excuse me. 405 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:52,325 Have you seen anyone? 406 00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:58,832 Deborah, can you come with me? 407 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,444 Looks like I'm in trouble 408 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,697 if you're doing crowd work tonight. 409 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,243 Hi, Deb. 410 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,829 You made it really easy for me to buy this show out 411 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,956 when you made your ticket prices so low. 412 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:43,168 I appreciate that. 413 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,586 Why? 414 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:48,131 Because I want you to stop. 415 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,967 For months, your heroic exit was the first thing 416 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:53,345 I heard about every single day. 417 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,722 It was a fucking nightmare for me. 418 00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:58,808 I got questions about it in every interview, 419 00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,520 almost lost my board's trust. 420 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,730 I had to reduce my bonus package. 421 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:06,066 And things have finally quieted down. 422 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:11,988 So the last thing I need is you bringing it all back up again. 423 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:15,785 So, what? 424 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:21,790 You think you can just silence me forever? 425 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:24,793 I'm gonna try. 426 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,878 I have an NDA, and I want you to sign it. 427 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,339 You'll get a big payout. 428 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,968 And all you have to do is agree to never speak publicly 429 00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:36,221 about "Late Night" or me ever again. 430 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:40,016 If you don't sign, I promise you 431 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:44,187 I will do whatever I have to do to make you stop. 432 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,189 I'll keep buying every ticket. 433 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:51,695 I'll use every possible outlet to make you seem unreliable. 434 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:54,447 So be smart about this. 435 00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:57,701 Do you really want to spend your golden years 436 00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:00,036 fighting a losing battle? 437 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:14,259 Fuck your NDA, 438 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,721 and fuck you. 439 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,769 Bastard! 440 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,105 This is bullshit. He needs to get a life. 441 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,065 And if I'm telling you you need to get a life, 442 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,443 you are a fucking loser! 443 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,777 Yeah, no offense. 444 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,529 Siri, google "how to sink a superyacht." 445 00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,739 No AI! 446 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,073 This has gotta be illegal, right? 447 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,701 We gotta call the lawyers, is what we gotta do. 448 00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:41,119 What is it? What is it? 449 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,454 It's not racketeering, but it's close to that. 450 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,747 This happens. 451 00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:45,290 Remember that one time 50 Cent bought out 452 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,208 the entire Ja Rule concert just to fuck with him? 453 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:48,543 This is insanity. 454 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:49,919 We need to go to the press and expose him. 455 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,254 Yes, we need to do a media alert. 456 00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,380 We need to do a press conference. 457 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,757 We need to kill him. 458 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:55,091 We need to Luigi his ass! 459 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,843 OK, stop, stop. Now, listen, listen. 460 00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:59,846 We're gonna do the show, and we're gonna do it for free. 461 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:01,431 That way, he can't stop the ticket sales, 462 00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:02,766 and he can't mess with it, 463 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,142 and anybody who wants to come can come. 464 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,935 This was the only date that MSG had. 465 00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:06,978 I know that. 466 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,313 I want to do it in Central Park. 467 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,314 Oh, OK. 468 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,357 Yeah. Yes. 469 00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:11,441 I'll call the Parks Department. 470 00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:12,859 We can target the springtime. We can-- 471 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,110 No, this weekend. 472 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,654 This weekend. Well-- 473 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,530 - What about the MSG record? - Forget that. 474 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:20,201 I just--I just need to do the show. 475 00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,119 Yeah, but, Deborah, you have costume changes. 476 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,663 You have pyrotechnics. You have a hydraulic lift. 477 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,122 No, no, forget all that. 478 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,666 Just me and a mic. 479 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,126 And I want to do it now. 480 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,961 OK, well, then we'll figure it out. 481 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,505 Right, Jimmy? 482 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,799 Yes. I will start making some calls. 483 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,467 I'll text my camp friends. 484 00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:38,843 They run New York. 485 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,637 OK, there was a show last night in the park. 486 00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:41,805 Maybe we could use their stage. 487 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,640 Whoa. Let me get this straight. 488 00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,809 You want us to put together a free stand-up show 489 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:49,187 in Central Park with no prior planning, no infrastructure? 490 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,523 And you want this to happen in three days? 491 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,316 - That's right. - Yeah. 492 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:55,694 God, I love this business. 493 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:59,155 It's 90% the most delusional, lazy people 494 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:00,532 you ever seen in your life 495 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,910 and 10% the most delusional workaholics. 496 00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,662 And I, for one, am proud and honored 497 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,706 to be part of that latter 10%. 498 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,667 Let's go. Let's fucking go! 499 00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:12,085 Yes, Randi, go on! 500 00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:14,003 ♪ Love in your heart ♪ 501 00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,840 ♪ Take a little time for the world ♪ 502 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,883 ♪ Where there's a will, there's a way ♪ 503 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,802 ♪ Come together, don't stray ♪ 504 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,595 ♪ Just put a little care in your heart ♪ 505 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,514 Look, look, just hear me out. 506 00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:25,890 Just hear me out. - I can't do it. 507 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,642 I'm sorry, miss. - No, listen, please. 508 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,228 All you have to do is hold the stage through the weekend. 509 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,522 I'll pay a rental fee. I'll pay all your overtime. 510 00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:34,566 Just name your price. - It's not about the money. 511 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,527 We have to break all this down and get it out of here by noon. 512 00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,404 Excuse me, do you two beautiful boys 513 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:40,655 know who you're talking to? 514 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,198 That is the queen of comedy! 515 00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,992 I don't care if she's the queen of freaking Sheba. 516 00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:46,244 She's not getting the stage. We have to pack it up. 517 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,871 Boss' orders. - Well, who's your boss? 518 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,497 Where is he? Can I talk to him? 519 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,167 - Boss. - Well, well, well. 520 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:55,044 Turns out, the doctor was a woman. 521 00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,880 - Oh, my God. - Weed? 522 00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,673 In the flesh, Ava Daniels. 523 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,550 Fall Out Boy rocked the park last night. 524 00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,135 Now we just gotta strike this whole rig, 525 00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:05,221 get it back up in Topeka by Tuesday, 0600. 526 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:07,056 OK, we understand that, but if you could just push-- 527 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:09,726 Push? No, it's a domino effect, white boy. 528 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:11,394 This is one of the tightest schedules 529 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:12,896 I've ever constructed. 530 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:15,231 They're playing 56 domestic dates 531 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:16,816 before we hop the pond to Glasto. 532 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,486 Weed, listen, I know we've had our differences 533 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:22,655 in the past, but I was supposed to play the Garden, 534 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:25,283 and then I got screwed over. 535 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,326 Please. 536 00:21:26,327 --> 00:21:28,411 I just need to say my piece. 537 00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:31,206 Deb, I'm gonna stop you right there. 538 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:34,083 Keep this stage up through the weekend. 539 00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:36,878 Get them to Topeka in, what, 39 hours? 540 00:21:36,879 --> 00:21:38,755 That'd take a miracle. 541 00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:41,216 It's lucky for you, though... 542 00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:45,053 You're looking at a miracle worker. 543 00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:47,597 - So-- - When you canned me, 544 00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:49,599 that was a first in my entire career. 545 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,059 I was shell-shocked. 546 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:53,478 And I am embarrassed to admit I did relapse. 547 00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:54,938 I went completely dark. 548 00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:57,607 I woke up flat on my back in a bed, 549 00:21:57,608 --> 00:22:00,401 not a chair, 550 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:04,697 in a motel in Juárez. 551 00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:07,158 My hair was in cornrows. 552 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:09,494 My eyebrows had been burned off. 553 00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:13,623 And I was holding an Apple TV remote, but... 554 00:22:13,624 --> 00:22:18,461 all the room had was a Roku. 555 00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:20,338 What is that? 556 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:24,843 I had no memory of the previous three months. 557 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:27,220 And then my boy Pete Wentz called me back in. 558 00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:31,057 We did 14 grueling back-to-back shows in the South Atlantic. 559 00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:36,145 And then one morning in Omaha, Pete said to me, 560 00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:41,317 "Weed, oh, God, Weed, 561 00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,695 you're better than you've ever been." 562 00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,655 And I owe that to you, Deb. 563 00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:50,578 You gotta crash and burn before you can rise, sister. 564 00:22:51,662 --> 00:22:53,371 I'ma make this work for you. 565 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:55,164 You can use our stage. - Oh. 566 00:22:55,165 --> 00:22:56,666 Thank you so much. Thank you. 567 00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:59,043 - Hands off, bud! - Sorry! 568 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:01,212 Bring it in, Deb. Bring it in. 569 00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,339 Oh, Deb. - Thank you, Weed. 570 00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:05,049 Deb, Deb, Debbie. 571 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,176 There's only one thing that I can't allow, 572 00:23:07,177 --> 00:23:09,512 and that's a grievance from the Park Department. 573 00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:12,765 So you're gonna need to get a permit to perform. 574 00:23:12,766 --> 00:23:14,934 Without it, city's gonna shut you down anyway. 575 00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:16,728 No problem. We are on it, Ms. Weed. 576 00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:17,896 Go! 577 00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:19,023 Oh! 578 00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:23,735 You don't want to play the Garden anyway. 579 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:25,445 Terrible load-out. 580 00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:27,364 - Thanks, Weed. - Mm-hmm. 581 00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:32,368 Love you, Deb! 582 00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:34,704 Yeah, love you too. 583 00:23:36,498 --> 00:23:38,750 She loves me. 584 00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:48,217 Hey. 585 00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:50,011 Hi. 586 00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:52,722 This is pot. Can you believe it? 587 00:23:52,723 --> 00:23:55,433 Yup. Can I come in? 588 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:58,603 Sure. Come in. 589 00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:09,614 You know, after what Bob Lipka pulled last night, 590 00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:11,824 made me realize pretty much every stiff in a suit 591 00:24:11,825 --> 00:24:14,661 is a lying, selfish piece of shit. 592 00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:16,746 Men are dogs, Deb. 593 00:24:16,747 --> 00:24:17,914 But not you. 594 00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:19,248 We've been looking for someone to run 595 00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:20,833 the operations at the casino. 596 00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:23,920 So why don't you come work for me and Marcus at The Diva? 597 00:24:23,921 --> 00:24:25,463 You mean it? 598 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,966 Now, listen, it wouldn't be like the Palmetto. 599 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,468 This is a small, independently-owned casino. 600 00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,262 You'd have to be on the floor. You wouldn't be in the C-suite. 601 00:24:33,263 --> 00:24:34,806 Oh, I hate the C-suite. 602 00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:36,683 You know me. I'm a man of the people. 603 00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:39,560 I want to be on the floor, shaking hands, slapping asses. 604 00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:40,979 Well, you can't do that anymore. 605 00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:43,106 Yeah, OK. Right. I forgot. 606 00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:45,733 Now, I've run this by Marcus, and he's on board. 607 00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:47,610 He's always liked you better than I have anyway. 608 00:24:49,613 --> 00:24:50,905 So what do you say? 609 00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:56,285 I'd love to. 610 00:24:56,286 --> 00:24:58,496 This means the world to me. 611 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,960 Great, great. 612 00:25:03,961 --> 00:25:05,586 All right, I gotta go. 613 00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:07,130 I have to get as many people as possible into Central Park 614 00:25:07,131 --> 00:25:09,173 this weekend. - Whoa, whoa. What's going on? 615 00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:12,010 I'm doing my show there, for free. 616 00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,177 What? 617 00:25:13,178 --> 00:25:15,138 So now I just gotta get the word out. 618 00:25:15,139 --> 00:25:16,973 Wow. And you need people. 619 00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:19,183 - Yeah. - I'll get you people. 620 00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:21,519 I got my guys in Atlantic City, Mohegan Sun-- 621 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,230 we bus tourists in all the time. 622 00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:27,817 You give me the word, and I'll unleash The Marty. 623 00:25:27,818 --> 00:25:30,820 OK, unleash away. 624 00:25:30,821 --> 00:25:33,364 Hoo-ah! All right! 625 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:34,866 We're back, baby. 626 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:37,702 Mwah. 627 00:25:37,703 --> 00:25:39,162 OK, good, good. 628 00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:41,622 All right, now, lay off the lollipops. 629 00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:43,624 We drug test at The Diva. 630 00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:47,045 Thank you, boss! 631 00:25:47,046 --> 00:25:48,171 Will do. 632 00:25:48,172 --> 00:25:49,964 ♪ Oh ♪ 633 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:52,675 ♪ I got no right to cry ♪ - ♪ No right to cry ♪ 634 00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:55,845 You want a permit for this weekend, in Central Park? 635 00:25:55,846 --> 00:25:58,181 Yes. 636 00:25:58,182 --> 00:26:02,477 It takes 30 days to process a permit in New York City, OK? 637 00:26:02,478 --> 00:26:04,520 There is nothing that I can do. 638 00:26:04,521 --> 00:26:06,856 Please, look, this isn't just about a permit, all right? 639 00:26:06,857 --> 00:26:08,357 It's about sticking it to the man. 640 00:26:08,358 --> 00:26:09,734 Yeah, and you could be a part of that. 641 00:26:09,735 --> 00:26:11,360 I mean, screw your boss. 642 00:26:11,361 --> 00:26:12,695 Go above his head. 643 00:26:12,696 --> 00:26:13,946 My boss is a woman, 644 00:26:13,947 --> 00:26:15,823 and we're in a relationship outside of work. 645 00:26:15,824 --> 00:26:18,618 And I don't feel comfortable keeping secrets from her. 646 00:26:18,619 --> 00:26:19,911 - That's beautiful. - We would never ask you 647 00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:21,037 to do that. - That's respectable 648 00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:22,080 and honorable. I love that. 649 00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,706 - We love gays. - Listen, 650 00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:25,458 if you've ever had a dream crushed, 651 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:26,876 if you've ever been bullied... - Mm-hmm. 652 00:26:26,877 --> 00:26:28,044 Then you know what Deborah Vance 653 00:26:28,045 --> 00:26:29,378 is going through right now. 654 00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:30,880 And we have the chance to right that wrong, 655 00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:32,215 to let her speak truth to power 656 00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:34,926 and not just for her, but for all people 657 00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:38,387 who have ever had their voices quieted by the powers that be. 658 00:26:38,388 --> 00:26:40,473 And if we don't, 659 00:26:40,474 --> 00:26:42,225 well, as Desmond Tutu said, 660 00:26:42,226 --> 00:26:45,603 "In situations of injustice, if we choose to be neutral, 661 00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:49,524 then we are siding with the oppressor," 662 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:51,025 something like that. - Something like that. 663 00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:52,360 - Is that what he said? - Yeah. 664 00:26:52,361 --> 00:26:54,445 Are you done with your Shondalogue? 665 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:57,198 Listen, it's not gonna happen. 666 00:26:57,199 --> 00:26:58,449 And if she tries to perform, 667 00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,576 she will be escorted outside the park. 668 00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:01,953 Now, please leave. 669 00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:04,247 I have a well-deserved break I need to take. 670 00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:06,415 - We were trying to be nice. - Please, just-- 671 00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:09,460 Like I'm just gonna be giving them a damn permit. 672 00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,129 Listen to my girl. - Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 673 00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:12,630 You could have said something about her sweater. 674 00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:13,756 Are you listening to the "I've Xenit All," 675 00:27:13,757 --> 00:27:15,091 the "Xena" rewatch podcast? 676 00:27:15,092 --> 00:27:16,134 That's a great episode. 677 00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:17,677 What? How you know about that? 678 00:27:17,678 --> 00:27:19,137 They're about to talk about the pan flute. 679 00:27:19,138 --> 00:27:20,429 You know she played it practically? 680 00:27:20,430 --> 00:27:21,931 This just came out five minutes ago. 681 00:27:21,932 --> 00:27:23,516 Boy, who are you? 682 00:27:23,517 --> 00:27:25,601 Well, I've heard the episode because I produce the podcast. 683 00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:27,103 I represent Renee O'Connor. 684 00:27:27,104 --> 00:27:29,147 And the podcast was actually our idea. 685 00:27:29,148 --> 00:27:31,274 - His idea. He thought of it. - No, we're a team. 686 00:27:31,275 --> 00:27:32,942 He's being humble. He's being humble. 687 00:27:32,943 --> 00:27:35,486 Child, I'm obsessed with "Xena." 688 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,779 Obsessed. 689 00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:38,614 I wore the leather armbands to the prom. 690 00:27:38,615 --> 00:27:40,449 - Yes! - OK, pop off. 691 00:27:40,450 --> 00:27:43,119 Baby, I even named my damn daughter Aphrodite. 692 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:44,787 - Oh, beautiful! - Aww! 693 00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:46,789 You think she likes that? She don't. 694 00:27:46,790 --> 00:27:48,249 Ah, yes. 695 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:50,459 Are they really doing a live show at the Acropolis, 696 00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:51,502 or was that just a joke? 697 00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:52,962 I couldn't tell. - I'm not sure. 698 00:27:52,963 --> 00:27:54,839 I could FaceTime Renee right now, 699 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,133 and you could ask her. - What? What? Oh, my God, yes. 700 00:27:57,134 --> 00:27:58,509 Actually, you know what? 701 00:27:58,510 --> 00:27:59,844 I'm so busy trying to get this permit, mm. 702 00:27:59,845 --> 00:28:01,137 No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait. 703 00:28:01,138 --> 00:28:03,264 Shh, shh, chill. Hey, hold it, hold it. 704 00:28:03,265 --> 00:28:05,474 Listen-- 705 00:28:05,475 --> 00:28:06,809 she nosy. 706 00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:09,145 I think I can transfer the permits to you guys. 707 00:28:09,146 --> 00:28:10,271 - Yes! - Thank you so much. 708 00:28:10,272 --> 00:28:11,814 - Thank you. - Thank you. 709 00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:15,151 Baby, Xenites unite. 710 00:28:18,989 --> 00:28:20,990 And those northern lights will be visible 711 00:28:20,991 --> 00:28:22,325 for the next week. 712 00:28:22,326 --> 00:28:23,826 So, Al, maybe we'll get something of a show. 713 00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:26,370 Weather's looking pretty darn good-- 714 00:28:28,248 --> 00:28:30,666 Is that Deborah Vance? 715 00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:32,335 Should we let her in? 716 00:28:32,336 --> 00:28:34,212 Sure. 717 00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:38,382 So basically, Deborah, he Ja Ruled you. 718 00:28:38,383 --> 00:28:39,800 Exactly, exactly. 719 00:28:39,801 --> 00:28:42,595 What 50 Cent did to Ja Rule, Bob Lipka did to me. 720 00:28:42,596 --> 00:28:43,596 Yeah, men are dogs. 721 00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:44,680 It's despicable. 722 00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:45,890 But I'm reclaiming my time. 723 00:28:45,891 --> 00:28:47,516 And I'm hoping that you, America, 724 00:28:47,517 --> 00:28:49,310 will come out to hear it. 725 00:28:49,311 --> 00:28:51,020 If you are in the tri-state area, 726 00:28:51,021 --> 00:28:52,480 get out to Central Park. 727 00:28:52,481 --> 00:28:54,982 See Deborah Vance, the one and only. 728 00:28:54,983 --> 00:28:56,859 - You like comedy? - Free shows at the park. 729 00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:58,152 Central Park live. 730 00:28:58,153 --> 00:28:59,320 Deborah Vance live in Central Park. 731 00:28:59,321 --> 00:29:00,821 Here you go. Free comedy show. 732 00:29:00,822 --> 00:29:02,698 You like comedy? New York City. 733 00:29:02,699 --> 00:29:04,992 You guys seriously have to go see Deborah in Central Park. 734 00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:07,995 She's my best friend ever, ever and my literal idol. 735 00:29:07,996 --> 00:29:10,248 And if you don't go see her, you're a loser. 736 00:29:10,249 --> 00:29:12,041 I agree. 737 00:29:12,042 --> 00:29:13,709 Free comedy show, guys. 738 00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:15,544 My daughter's best friend and mentor, Deborah Vance, live. 739 00:29:15,545 --> 00:29:16,754 Come on. 740 00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:18,047 My daughter's best friend. Take this! 741 00:29:18,048 --> 00:29:19,215 You're going to the show! 742 00:29:19,216 --> 00:29:20,716 Deborah Vance, y'all. 743 00:29:20,717 --> 00:29:22,134 So as you know, Deborah and I 744 00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:23,928 have had our ups and downs. 745 00:29:23,929 --> 00:29:26,639 But at the end of the day, she's a really great girl. 746 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,474 And it's not cool what's been done to her. 747 00:29:28,475 --> 00:29:30,810 - Mm. - So get out to Central Park 748 00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:34,438 and hear her side of the story 'cause she's funny as hell 749 00:29:34,439 --> 00:29:36,107 and silencing women is never OK. 750 00:29:36,108 --> 00:29:39,402 ♪ I love the way that you give ♪ 751 00:29:39,403 --> 00:29:41,153 ♪ Your heart too freely ♪ 752 00:29:44,825 --> 00:29:46,284 She wears a wig too. 753 00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:47,660 She wears a sheitel. 754 00:29:47,661 --> 00:29:48,911 Welcome back. 755 00:29:48,912 --> 00:29:50,579 We have a very special surprise guest. 756 00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:52,248 Deborah Vance is here to promote 757 00:29:52,249 --> 00:29:54,250 her free show in Central Park. 758 00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:57,586 But she was only allowed off the black list 759 00:29:57,587 --> 00:29:58,754 on one condition. 760 00:29:58,755 --> 00:30:01,090 - Joy. - Yeah? 761 00:30:01,091 --> 00:30:03,050 I have to apologize. 762 00:30:03,051 --> 00:30:06,095 You would know the difference between a Margaux and a Merlot 763 00:30:06,096 --> 00:30:07,930 if I smashed it over your head. 764 00:30:07,931 --> 00:30:10,641 And I think that toasting with a glass of iced tea 765 00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:12,727 is just pure class. 766 00:30:12,728 --> 00:30:14,895 Thank you very much. 767 00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:18,232 And I'm sorry I got you put on the terrorist watch list. 768 00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:19,859 - That was you? - Yeah. 769 00:30:22,529 --> 00:30:23,946 Good one. 770 00:30:23,947 --> 00:30:26,949 Thank God I don't have to hear about this anymore. 771 00:30:29,036 --> 00:30:30,703 SnackWell's snack well when in a well you snack. 772 00:30:30,704 --> 00:30:32,830 SnackWell's snack well when in a well you snack. 773 00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:34,290 SnackWell's snack well-- 774 00:30:34,291 --> 00:30:36,334 Yeah, Rick, I'm getting a little bit of feedback 775 00:30:36,335 --> 00:30:37,793 on the right. 776 00:30:37,794 --> 00:30:41,964 Boss, boss, boss, boss, it's the network for you two. 777 00:30:41,965 --> 00:30:43,132 - Hello? - Hi. 778 00:30:43,133 --> 00:30:44,300 Hey, guys. 779 00:30:44,301 --> 00:30:47,511 So I do have some unfortunate news. 780 00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:50,306 We're not going to be ordering a script. 781 00:30:50,307 --> 00:30:52,641 Oh, man. 782 00:30:52,642 --> 00:30:54,477 That's really sad to hear. 783 00:30:54,478 --> 00:30:56,937 Because we are ordering a pilot. 784 00:30:56,938 --> 00:31:01,317 We are committing to shooting a pilot for this dang thing. 785 00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:03,652 - Holy shit! - Oh, my God! 786 00:31:03,653 --> 00:31:05,029 Thank you guys. 787 00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:06,989 There's more to come, but I just wanted to call 788 00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:08,491 and let you guys know. 789 00:31:08,492 --> 00:31:11,327 Hey, Ava, congratulations. 790 00:31:11,328 --> 00:31:13,162 - OK. - OK. Thank you. Bye. 791 00:31:13,163 --> 00:31:14,330 Oh, my God! 792 00:31:14,331 --> 00:31:15,498 Hey! 793 00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:17,500 Ava sold her show! - Oh! 794 00:31:17,501 --> 00:31:19,502 Whoo! 795 00:31:19,503 --> 00:31:22,671 Oh, my God! - Yes. 796 00:31:24,341 --> 00:31:26,050 Free comedy. 797 00:31:26,051 --> 00:31:28,260 Deborah Vance on the Great Lawn. 798 00:31:28,261 --> 00:31:31,972 See Deborah Vance? Right down to the Great Lawn. 799 00:31:31,973 --> 00:31:34,016 Deborah Vance, best comedian in the world. 800 00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:35,684 Come get your merch right over here. 801 00:31:35,685 --> 00:31:36,894 Shirts, hats... 802 00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:38,521 Hey, how's it going? Good to see you. 803 00:31:38,522 --> 00:31:40,689 Try the hat on. 804 00:31:40,690 --> 00:31:42,400 Just don't get spooked if the laughs don't sound the same. 805 00:31:42,401 --> 00:31:43,901 - Yeah, yeah, you're right. - We're outdoors. 806 00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:45,528 Just remember that. - Deborah, hey. 807 00:31:45,529 --> 00:31:47,696 So-- - No. What? What now? 808 00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:50,199 They've closed the entrance to the park at 72nd and 5th. 809 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:51,659 What? Why? 810 00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:53,202 That's the entrance closest to the Lawn. 811 00:31:53,203 --> 00:31:54,537 People won't be able to get in. 812 00:31:54,538 --> 00:31:57,373 They closed it because it's already overcrowded. 813 00:31:57,374 --> 00:31:58,833 - Oh. - There are people 814 00:31:58,834 --> 00:32:01,210 spilling onto the bike path and the trails. 815 00:32:01,211 --> 00:32:02,711 The Parks Department doesn't know for sure, 816 00:32:02,712 --> 00:32:04,505 but my girl is estimating that there are over 817 00:32:04,506 --> 00:32:06,090 30,000 people here right now. 818 00:32:06,091 --> 00:32:07,550 Holy shit. 819 00:32:08,718 --> 00:32:10,553 They came. 820 00:32:10,554 --> 00:32:11,720 And you know what? 821 00:32:11,721 --> 00:32:15,099 For stand-up in the park, that's a record. 822 00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:17,852 Now, that's a pretty good lede to an obituary. 823 00:32:25,318 --> 00:32:27,069 OK, everybody. Everybody, come on. 824 00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:28,571 Gather, quick, quick, quick, quick. 825 00:32:28,572 --> 00:32:30,739 Everybody, everybody, everybody, come here. 826 00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:32,992 Come here. 827 00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:36,912 I couldn't have done this without you. 828 00:32:36,913 --> 00:32:38,456 I love you. 829 00:32:38,457 --> 00:32:40,749 Thank you so much. 830 00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:42,126 Thank you. 831 00:32:44,421 --> 00:32:45,421 I love you. 832 00:32:47,757 --> 00:32:52,428 Please welcome to the stage mi amiga Deborah Vance. 833 00:33:24,628 --> 00:33:28,631 How are you feeling tonight, New York City? 834 00:33:34,304 --> 00:33:36,680 First I would like to acknowledge, 835 00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:39,517 this is stolen land. 836 00:33:39,518 --> 00:33:41,060 Oh, my God. 837 00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:43,187 I didn't even tell her to say that. 838 00:33:43,188 --> 00:33:45,898 Now, if you came to the park tonight for Deborah Vance, 839 00:33:45,899 --> 00:33:46,982 you're in the right place. 840 00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:53,322 If you came to the park tonight for anonymous gay sex, 841 00:33:53,323 --> 00:33:55,741 you're still in the right place.