1 00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:07,882 There's gotta be some creative way 2 00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:09,509 to get out of this non-compete. 3 00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:11,261 Ms. Vance, I'm honored you came to me, 4 00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,263 but don't you have some white-shoe guys 5 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:14,681 that can handle this for you? 6 00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:16,558 I've tried. I axed my attorneys. 7 00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:18,768 I hired and fired six more firms. 8 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,812 I even tried Judge Judy, who I don't even care for. 9 00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,272 Oh, really? I like her. 10 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,274 None of them could find a legal way for me 11 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,484 to perform for the next 18 months. 12 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:29,029 But I--I think that you are the man 13 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,321 who could find a loophole. 14 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,490 I really wish I could, but the network's 15 00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:34,451 got you locked up, and they've threatened 16 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:35,785 damages if you violate it. 17 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,412 Then I'll pay. 18 00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:40,790 Even if you were to cover those astronomical costs, 19 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:44,961 no venue, big or small, would ever even take that risk. 20 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,505 They'd be on the hook too. 21 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,091 Look, Ms. Vance. 22 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:53,053 I don't mean to overstep, but I remember reading 23 00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,346 in a United Airlines in-flight magazine 24 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:58,308 that you were a contract hawk. 25 00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:00,143 What happened? 26 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:03,813 You never imagine you'd walk away from your dream job. 27 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,357 Well, I'm sorry. I can't help you. 28 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,818 But if you ever get surgery and they leave 29 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,571 an instrument inside of you, even a sponge, 30 00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:14,074 you give me a call. 31 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,950 We can make a lot of money. 32 00:01:16,033 --> 00:01:17,952 Thanks. 33 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:20,038 Yeah. And, uh, we don't validate. 34 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:24,501 It's the property, not me. 35 00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:29,005 Oh, make sure you close that door behind you. 36 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,924 I don't wanna lose the cat. 37 00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:33,676 He tends to, you know, run out. 38 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,644 Where is the cat? 39 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,732 Okay, I got it. 40 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,859 I'll suck Bob Lipka's dick. 41 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,319 What? 42 00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:52,695 To get him to let go of the non-compete. 43 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,030 I mean, my blow job's not great, 44 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,865 but how bad could it possibly be? 45 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,491 Okay, nobody wants a subpar blow job. 46 00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,953 Also, please, I don't need any more of my clients 47 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,287 doing stuff with him. 48 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,997 I just feel like it's my fault. 49 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,958 If it weren't for me, she'd still have her dream job. 50 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,418 Sure, but if it wasn't for you, 51 00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,461 she probably wouldn't have gotten it in the first place. 52 00:02:09,545 --> 00:02:10,964 I guess. 53 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:13,383 You guess right. 54 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,135 Look. 55 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:18,513 I know you feel guilty, but this was her decision, okay? 56 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:20,265 I'm sure your feelings around that are complicated, 57 00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:23,059 and hers are, too, but the best thing you can do 58 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,519 is to get her to start writing again. 59 00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:26,688 Help take her mind off what happened. 60 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,565 You're right. You're right. 61 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,275 And if that doesn't work, have you thought of a take 62 00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:31,484 for Greta Gerwig's "Catcher in the Rye"? 63 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,194 Because she's taking meetings. 64 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,113 I thought Holden Caulfield being a girl was the take. 65 00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:36,948 No, the gender flip is the twist. 66 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:39,492 But what's the take? 67 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:43,371 You don't think I could give one out-of-this-world blow job? 68 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:44,372 No. 69 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,005 Honestly, you know what I think we do? 70 00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,007 I think we spend the next 18 months writing 71 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:55,508 so that when the non-compete expires, 72 00:02:55,591 --> 00:02:57,177 we have a ton of new material 73 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,428 and we can hit the ground running. 74 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,430 I also had a thought. 75 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:01,931 Have you considered pitching a reboot 76 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,516 of "Who's Making Dinner"? 77 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,976 I don't own the rights. 78 00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:06,895 - You don't? - No. 79 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,313 Frank only put his name on the pilot, 80 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,190 which made him the creator. 81 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,483 I--I didn't know it worked like that. 82 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,986 Well, we should be getting back to our roots anyway. 83 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:18,323 A new hour, all about the crazy last few years of your life. 84 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:20,491 No. I'm not--I-- 85 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,660 I can't do a whole new special and practice it 86 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,246 in front of a mirror with a hairbrush microphone. 87 00:03:25,329 --> 00:03:28,708 I need to be onstage, workshopping it with crowds. 88 00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,877 They tell me what works and what doesn't work. 89 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,963 If I'm not on that stage, I-- 90 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,049 I have nothing. 91 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,841 It's only 18 months. 92 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,095 That's--that's a long time for me. 93 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,264 You'll survive. 94 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,727 I think I'm gonna go back to Vegas. 95 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:48,937 Great. 96 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,188 I could use a recharge too. 97 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:52,232 Nothing like that 110-degree heat 98 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,608 to jolt you back to life 99 00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:54,942 or lull you into a heat-induced coma. 100 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,153 I'm up for whatever, though. 101 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,446 I... 102 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:03,159 I wanna be alone for a bit. 103 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,495 Oh, okay. 104 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:06,704 Sure. 105 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,248 Makes sense. 106 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,759 My first guest is a very special little cutie. 107 00:04:19,841 --> 00:04:23,346 Please give a warm welcome to AJ Vance Padalecki. 108 00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:27,600 My producers tell me you recently rolled over. 109 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:30,645 What's next, crawling? 110 00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:32,522 And how do you find time for yourself 111 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,816 in between drinking milk and spitting it up? 112 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,029 Well, that's all the time we have. 113 00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,078 Hmm. 114 00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,186 Excuse me, Foreman. 115 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,063 Okay. Who let a diva on the floor? 116 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,359 How are you? 117 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:19,527 Good. 118 00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:23,906 They didn't deserve you. 119 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,035 Well, now they don't have me, so that works out. 120 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:29,996 Wow. 121 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:31,080 Wanna show me around? 122 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,957 Yes, yes. Right this way. 123 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:37,003 We produce polycrystalline silicon cells, 124 00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:39,422 and then we sell them to the solar panel manufacturers. 125 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:40,882 Ah. 126 00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:43,009 The biggest hurdle was getting a translator, 127 00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,553 because we procure most of the materials overseas. 128 00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:48,097 But now that that's handled, the immediate margins 129 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,932 are large and consistent. 130 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,267 That's interesting. 131 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,935 I want Deborah Vance Industries back. 132 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,187 What? 133 00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:55,855 Deborah, that's a done deal. 134 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,648 They're not gonna reverse it. 135 00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,525 I could approach them about you being a brand ambassador, 136 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:02,153 but that wouldn't give you much input on the business side. 137 00:06:02,236 --> 00:06:03,488 Come on. 138 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,239 Don't you miss it too-- 139 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,075 the creativity, the conniving? 140 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,369 Is this what you really wanna be doing? 141 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:12,372 I've never even heard you mention solar power before. 142 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,374 You don't even bring up the sun very often. 143 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:20,254 Of course I miss conniving, but this is profitable. 144 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,215 And that's my goal right now. 145 00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,258 Yeah? 146 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,593 Sure. 147 00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:26,928 I'm sorry. 148 00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,681 I can't perform. 149 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,975 I don't even own my own name. 150 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,064 Did you wanna see the tubes? 151 00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,273 No. 152 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:40,817 They're smaller than you think. 153 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,152 Why do you have only one shoe on? 154 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,572 I was resting in between. 155 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,824 Marty's on the phone. 156 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,284 Take a message. 157 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:37,994 I tried, but he said he needs to talk to you. 158 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,079 It's an emergency. 159 00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:42,790 I'll take it. I'll take it. 160 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:43,915 Hey. 161 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,585 What's going on? 162 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,254 I just don't think I can pull off velvet. 163 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:51,090 Again, this was not an emergency. 164 00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,217 It's a fashion emergency. 165 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:54,677 You know, you might wanna let that waistline 166 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,012 out a little bit. 167 00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,430 I can tell he's sucking in his gut. 168 00:09:57,513 --> 00:09:59,181 Okay. All right. 169 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,225 Hey, uh, Ully, can you give us a couple of minutes? 170 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,602 - Yeah. - Thank you, sir. 171 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,479 What? 172 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,315 - How's Victoria? - Ah. 173 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,483 Didn't realize you knew her real name. 174 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,485 You usually just call her "Oldie Hawn." 175 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:14,280 I looked her up. 176 00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:16,949 She's very elegant. 177 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:19,785 Hmm. 178 00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:24,457 So I had an idea. 179 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:28,461 You know how I'm part owner of a hotel in Hawaii? 180 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,504 Why don't you go there for a bit? 181 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,590 Penthouse suite is available. 182 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:35,134 Take it as long as you want. 183 00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:37,011 Just get the hell out of here. 184 00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,346 On me. 185 00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:39,639 No. No, I couldn't. 186 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:40,931 Why couldn't you? 187 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,767 You know I don't do vacations. 188 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:45,311 I can't stand sitting around all day, doing nothing. 189 00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:46,854 I just keep wishing I was working. 190 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,857 Remember in Santorini? 191 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,651 I turned that taverna into an open mic. 192 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:55,488 You did a half hour on feta. 193 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:57,823 It was 20 minutes. 194 00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:02,703 Yeah. That's Deb. 195 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,664 I know you live to work. 196 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,707 It is one of my favorite things about you. 197 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:10,336 But for the first time in your life, you can't. 198 00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:13,589 And so maybe it's worth trying to enjoy doing nothing 199 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:18,844 because, well, there's quite literally nothing you can do. 200 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:26,268 You know, we had fun in Greece, huh? 201 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,773 Yeah, we did. 202 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,695 So Hawaii. 203 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:36,946 What do you think, huh? 204 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,906 Humunukunuk Hawaii 205 00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:41,200 When the humuhumunukunuku 206 00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:42,952 - This is so exciting. - I know. 207 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,829 The resort section of Deborah's closet 208 00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:46,956 finally gets her day in the sun. 209 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,833 Some of those caftans had given up hope, 210 00:11:48,915 --> 00:11:50,876 but I never stopped believing in them. 211 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,378 You know, the nice thing about vacation 212 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,171 is you can be matchy-matchy, and it's okay. 213 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,673 Yeah. 214 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:56,924 I can't believe she's gone for three weeks. 215 00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,384 I know. 216 00:11:58,467 --> 00:11:59,593 I'm finally gonna get my ulcer removed. 217 00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:00,928 You haven't done that yet? 218 00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,179 No, and don't tell her I have one. 219 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:03,222 Oh. 220 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,142 Ooh. 221 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,565 Mahalo, Josefina. 222 00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,066 Hello. 223 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,068 Do I look like fun and flirty vacation girl? 224 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,946 You look like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. 225 00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,573 Both are sexually viable. 226 00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,615 Let's rock. 227 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:25,202 I'm so excited for Hawaii! 228 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:28,789 I hear the poke is more than okay. 229 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,708 And you sound like him too. 230 00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:42,678 Okay. All right, girl. 231 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,430 Uh, girl, don't be stingy with the Don Julio. 232 00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:45,598 I paid good money for that. 233 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:46,599 I bought it. 234 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:51,103 You know, I'm glad they're blowing up the Tropicana. 235 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,147 Shit, I got scabies there in '94. 236 00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:55,107 - Somebody's gotta pay! - Ooh. 237 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,567 Ooh, ooh, it's starting. It's starting. 238 00:12:56,650 --> 00:13:01,447 Three, two, one. 239 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,335 No, wait! I left my AirPods in there! 240 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,005 Damn. 241 00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:19,256 - It's the end of an era. - Mm. 242 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,008 - Yeah. - I know. It's so sad. 243 00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:23,344 It's like, Vegas used to be so gritty and fun, 244 00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:25,930 and now every hotel is owned by some mega conglomerate. 245 00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:29,141 Corporate greed. Mm. 246 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,894 Mom, you crossed a picket line to take a yoga class. 247 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:34,772 Baby I told you, it was non-refundable. 248 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,315 Mm. That's hard. 249 00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:37,942 And like Wilson said, Vegas has changed. 250 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,860 I mean, there's no more boutique hotels. 251 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,612 There's chains everywhere. 252 00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:43,155 It just feels sterile. 253 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,448 You know what I'm saying? 254 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:47,743 I mean, I miss Vegas being dirty. 255 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,745 So you gotta make dirty for yourself. 256 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,790 Last night, I fed a "Magic Mike" dancer a Popsicle, 257 00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:53,999 and I didn't use my hands. 258 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,126 - Ooh. - Jesus Christ. 259 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,837 We ought to hang out more. I like that. 260 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,172 Oh, I--I can teach you a few things, baby. 261 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,555 Would you ladies like anything to drink? 262 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,932 - Oh. Mimosa. - What pairs well with Xanax? 263 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,810 - Thank you. - Oh, um, water? 264 00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:15,354 Good looking out, doc. Thank you. 265 00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,314 You want a little something to take the edge off? 266 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,441 Uh, no, thanks. I'm fine. 267 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:20,901 Smart. 268 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,778 Benzo use is highly correlated with dementia, 269 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,446 but that's a tomorrow problem. 270 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,282 Mm. 271 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,075 This place looks so sick. 272 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,451 We're gonna have so much fun. 273 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,036 We are gonna relax to the max. 274 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,122 Nothing to do but chill. 275 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,374 10:00, chill. 10:30, chill. 276 00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:36,834 11:00, chill. Oh, I'm late. 277 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,544 I gotta go chill. I'm so excited. 278 00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:39,753 Guided meditation. 279 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,547 They have unguided meditation. 280 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,341 They have semi-guided meditation. 281 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,843 Wonder what that's about. 282 00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,761 Shit, they have a sensory deprivation tank. 283 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,555 Have you done that? It is so sick. 284 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,223 You are completely in the dark. 285 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,975 You can't see. You can't hear. 286 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,643 The water is your body temperature, 287 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,937 so you are just, like, totally alone with your thoughts, 288 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,522 completely unaware of your physical body, 289 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,232 just mind, mind, mind. 290 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:01,901 It's, like, complete solitude. 291 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,360 I think they have it for, like, an hour. 292 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:04,904 Some people do, like, three hours. 293 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,572 I'd be kind of into that. It feels psychedelic. 294 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:08,324 I feel like that could be crazy. 295 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:12,745 The "honk-shoos" are hitting me, so I am gonna set sail. 296 00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,623 But I will see you in Kauai, my guy. 297 00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:16,999 Good night. 298 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,878 Good night. 299 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,470 We're here! 300 00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:30,721 That was fast. 301 00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,932 - Uh-huh. - What? 302 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,311 Spooky dream. 303 00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:40,356 Had a really spooky dream. 304 00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,232 Ooh. Okay. 305 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,234 But I was naked, covering myself with pillows 306 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,569 from my childhood bedroom. 307 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:48,155 And I had a collegiate level math test 308 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:49,615 that I hadn't studied for. 309 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,492 But then the dream turned lucid, 310 00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:53,535 and I grabbed a witch's broom and was just kind of soaring. 311 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,120 - Mm-hmm. - It was really awesome. 312 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,121 Deborah Vance? 313 00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:01,335 Um, I think it's pronounced "aloha." 314 00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:02,461 Right this way. 315 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:03,754 Thank you. 316 00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:05,798 We're supposed to get a lei, right? 317 00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,133 Supposed to give you one? A lei. 318 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:10,219 I don't know. I'll find it later. 319 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,971 I'm not worried about it. 320 00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:16,266 Oh! 321 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,894 What? 322 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,480 Holy shit! 323 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:27,027 I did not know about this. 324 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:28,529 Is this new? 325 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,532 Deborah! 326 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,414 Welcome to Changi Airport. 327 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,833 Um, Deb--Deborah? 328 00:16:40,915 --> 00:16:42,459 Deborah. 329 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,044 Um, I don't wanna put anybody's job at risk, 330 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,421 but I think the pilot fucked up. 331 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,588 We are not in Hawaii. 332 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,048 No, we're not. 333 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,299 We're in Singapore. 334 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,343 - Singapore? - Yes. 335 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,761 The one in Asia? 336 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,221 That's the one. 337 00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:55,889 What happened to Hawaii? 338 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,767 Oh, we went. You missed it. We stopped to refuel. 339 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,353 I wanted to tell you, but you were out cold for 18 hours. 340 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:02,563 I don't think that was a Xanax. 341 00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,106 I think you took a horse tranq. 342 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,773 Why are we in Singapore? 343 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,819 I'll show you. 344 00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:10,945 Please tell me this isn't for a tax reason. 345 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,365 I'll get you a lei, okay? 346 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,799 Will you please tell me where we are? 347 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,301 I really don't like surprises. 348 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,136 I have, like, four period tracking apps. 349 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:40,517 Here we are, the Resorts World Sentosa Casino. 350 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,436 God, I love the smell of air-conditioning. 351 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,230 What happened to Hawaii? 352 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:47,608 I was gonna take an ethical hula dancing class 353 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,818 and drop in on a coastal cleanup. 354 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,570 Oh, screw Hawaii. 355 00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:53,989 I made some calls on the plane, and I negotiated myself 356 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,324 a limited run in the theater here 357 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,034 - in the casino. - Wait, wait, wait. 358 00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,368 But you can't-- you can't perform. 359 00:17:58,452 --> 00:17:59,536 That's the thing. 360 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,288 I won't be performing, per se. 361 00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:02,623 I found a loophole in the contract. 362 00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:03,957 There's always a loophole. 363 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,168 If I'm performing through a translator, 364 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,836 I'm technically not performing. 365 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,046 The translator is. 366 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:13,634 So we need to write material for Singaporeans? 367 00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:14,760 No, no, no, no. 368 00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,512 It's mostly tourists here. 369 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,388 So we have to come up with material for people visiting 370 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,390 the casino and then translate that material 371 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,934 into Chinese, Malay, and Tamil. 372 00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:23,519 Chinese, Malay, and Tamil. 373 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,062 Chinese, Malay, and Tamil. 374 00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,563 This is insane. 375 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,023 Why don't you just perform in America 376 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,817 and have it translated to another language? 377 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,902 No, no theater in America or even Europe 378 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,529 is gonna take the legal risk. No. 379 00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,280 In Singapore, they're not afraid. 380 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:38,450 This is the greatest municipal city-state in the world. 381 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,785 Wait. Where are we staying? 382 00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:40,786 Here, in the casino. 383 00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,204 No! Not again! 384 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:45,249 Come on. It'll be fantastic. 385 00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:47,251 Please? 386 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:50,629 Well, I have been wanting you to write material again, 387 00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:52,756 so yeah, let's do it. 388 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,675 Yeah! That's the spirit. 389 00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:55,843 Okay, let's check in and get to work. 390 00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,010 Tomorrow night's our first show. 391 00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,554 - Tomorrow night? - Yeah. 392 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,139 I kicked some old guy out of his residency. 393 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,182 - Come on. - Uh! 394 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,524 Thank you. Thank you. 395 00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:13,569 You know, I just learned that the United States 396 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:16,864 is 15,000 times bigger than Singapore, 397 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,366 and that's just our waistlines. 398 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,512 Not bad. 399 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:41,680 Not bad? 400 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:45,017 This is heaven. Cheers. 401 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,560 That's my kind of shade. 402 00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:49,521 It's just the color of my skin, so--I'm solid. 403 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,361 Yeah, two glasses of champagne, please. 404 00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,947 Glasses? Two bottles! 405 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,199 Okay. Thank you. 406 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:01,533 Thank you. 407 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,203 - Whoo! - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 408 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:05,287 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 409 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,788 Oh! 410 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,041 He's like, Deborah Vance, I'm a huge fan. 411 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,838 Another thing I found out is, you guys love caviar. 412 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:17,591 You've got a Rolex store on every corner. 413 00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:19,551 You should be called "Singa-rich." 414 00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:26,558 "Singa-rich." 415 00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:29,603 Okay, I don't speak Mandarin, 416 00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:30,812 but I know you butchered that joke. 417 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,147 Me? 418 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,565 Tell them you butchered the joke, not me. 419 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,865 All right. There we go. There we go. 420 00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:01,260 You know, maybe we should work on a new opener. 421 00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,595 Not now, honey. 422 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,517 You know, I like watching an adult film backwards, 423 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:12,229 because then it's about being rewarded for sex, with a pizza. 424 00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,570 Pizza! 425 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:22,656 Thank you. Thank you. 426 00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:28,453 Whoo! Whoo! 427 00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,789 Deborah! Deborah! 428 00:21:30,872 --> 00:21:32,207 What? Hi. 429 00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:43,051 Oh, my God. That is so good. Have I had four? 430 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,386 Oh, my God. I've had four. 431 00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,514 Don't tell. Don't tell. 432 00:21:47,597 --> 00:21:48,598 So next time, but I just think-- 433 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:53,186 Wonder who that could be. 434 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,233 Surprise! 435 00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,860 Karaoke time! 436 00:22:07,951 --> 00:22:10,287 Player bank. Player bank. 437 00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:12,080 Player has 6 and 7s. 438 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,832 And banker has 5. 439 00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:15,042 Third card for banker. 440 00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:56,541 Deborah? 441 00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:59,127 Deborah? 442 00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:06,176 Ah! And that's Deborah's impression of jet lag! 443 00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:17,687 Don't let me finish all this caviar by myself. 444 00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:19,564 It's all yours. You know what? 445 00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,441 Let me get you another glass of champagne. 446 00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:22,651 Okay. Or, you know, anything. 447 00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:24,528 - Surprise me. - Okay. All right. 448 00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,448 Hey. 449 00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:29,866 Hi. 450 00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:32,202 So, um, what do you think? 451 00:23:32,285 --> 00:23:33,829 Maybe tomorrow, we'll get some breakfast, 452 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:35,414 and we can flesh out that material 453 00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:36,998 about Americans traveling abroad? 454 00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:38,458 Oh, I can't. 455 00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:40,877 I've gotta call bingo at a private brunch. 456 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:42,254 Can you cancel it? 457 00:23:42,337 --> 00:23:43,839 Oh, no. I couldn't. No. 458 00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:45,757 Zhang Xiu Ying would be very upset. 459 00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:47,175 You know how she gets. 460 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,802 Who's Zhang Xiu Ying? 461 00:23:48,885 --> 00:23:50,387 You met her. 462 00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:52,472 Her daughter goes to Oxford. 463 00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:54,182 She took us to the Tory Burch event. 464 00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:55,809 I don't--I don't remember. 465 00:23:55,892 --> 00:23:58,061 That's where I got these. 466 00:23:58,145 --> 00:23:59,479 Doesn't ring a bell. 467 00:23:59,563 --> 00:24:00,814 Okay, I'll get you a bingo card in case 468 00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:02,065 you wanna meet her again. 469 00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:03,525 The prize is a Piaget watch. 470 00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:04,901 I'm good. 471 00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:06,695 Yeah. 472 00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:09,239 Deborah, we haven't worked on new material in months. 473 00:24:09,322 --> 00:24:10,991 The whole point of quitting the show 474 00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:12,200 was to get back to what we love. 475 00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:13,910 I am doing what I love. 476 00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:15,912 I'm drinking champagne. 477 00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:17,789 You're doing all old material. 478 00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:19,749 Aren't you getting bored? 479 00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:22,836 Mm, nope. 480 00:24:22,919 --> 00:24:25,130 Last night, you fell asleep onstage. 481 00:24:25,213 --> 00:24:27,007 I did not fall asleep. 482 00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:28,633 I was resting my eyes. 483 00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:30,385 Wengyao did 20 minutes. 484 00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:32,387 They had to cut your mic because you were snoring. 485 00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:34,055 I don't snore. 486 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,307 Babe, you snored. 487 00:24:38,059 --> 00:24:39,519 Okay, I think we should go home. 488 00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:41,146 Why? 489 00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:44,858 Because it's beautiful here, but it is not real life. 490 00:24:44,941 --> 00:24:47,944 I'm not happy here, and I don't think you are, either. 491 00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:49,821 I-I'm--I'm having a ball. 492 00:24:49,905 --> 00:24:51,531 It's really not healthy. 493 00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:53,742 You're drinking way too much. 494 00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:55,243 I'm worried about you. 495 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:57,329 You're worried about me? 496 00:24:57,412 --> 00:24:58,830 Yeah. 497 00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:01,249 I'm sorry, but you're not acting like yourself. 498 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,002 And I feel like you've given up. 499 00:25:04,085 --> 00:25:05,587 Given up? 500 00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:07,839 Given up? 501 00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:10,509 I-I took a late-night show to number one. 502 00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:14,638 And, you know, regardless of your judgment of my material, 503 00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:15,931 I perform every night. 504 00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:17,641 What do you do while you're here, 505 00:25:17,724 --> 00:25:19,601 except follow me around with your empty little notebook 506 00:25:19,684 --> 00:25:21,186 and your big shorts? 507 00:25:21,269 --> 00:25:23,813 If you're so unhappy, why don't you just leave? 508 00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:25,357 Okay. 509 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:29,152 Actually, Why are you still here? 510 00:25:29,236 --> 00:25:30,695 You brought me here. 511 00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:33,281 And honestly, I didn't wanna leave you alone. 512 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,492 I didn't ask you to stay. 513 00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:38,745 I mean, you're in your 20s. 514 00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:40,539 All you've ever done is work for me. 515 00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:42,165 I have an amazing life. 516 00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:43,959 I've done everything. 517 00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:47,295 What have you done, and why aren't you doing it now? 518 00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:51,758 You're just drunk, and you're trying to hurt my feelings. 519 00:25:51,841 --> 00:25:53,343 I've had four drinks. I'm sober. 520 00:25:53,426 --> 00:25:54,844 I'm just telling you the truth. 521 00:25:56,555 --> 00:26:01,017 You're 29 years old, and I'm your only friend. 522 00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:06,273 Isn't that weird? 523 00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:09,818 It's weird. 524 00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:12,612 You need friends. 525 00:26:12,696 --> 00:26:15,574 And a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, 526 00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:18,535 or, you know, a they-friend, whatever the hell it is 527 00:26:18,618 --> 00:26:23,540 that you want, instead of just sitting here, scolding me. 528 00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:29,212 Wow. 529 00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:32,215 Okay. Yeah. 530 00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:33,592 You're right. 531 00:26:33,675 --> 00:26:36,344 I don't know what I'm still doing here. 532 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:37,971 I'm gonna head home tomorrow morning. 533 00:26:38,054 --> 00:26:41,558 I think that's the healthy choice. 534 00:26:52,444 --> 00:26:54,237 Have a safe flight. 535 00:26:58,283 --> 00:26:59,993 Yeah. 536 00:27:32,609 --> 00:27:34,194 Hello. 537 00:27:34,277 --> 00:27:35,862 - What happened to Deborah? - What do you mean? 538 00:27:35,945 --> 00:27:37,197 When was the last time you saw her? 539 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:38,990 What are you talking about? 540 00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:41,034 TMZ is reporting she's dead. 541 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:44,579 - What? - It's all over the place. 542 00:27:44,663 --> 00:27:47,832 I--I gotta call you back. 543 00:27:52,712 --> 00:27:54,214 The mailbox is full and cannot accept 544 00:27:54,297 --> 00:27:56,633 any messages at this time. Goodbye. 545 00:28:15,318 --> 00:28:16,361 Come on! 546 00:28:22,117 --> 00:28:23,535 Oh! 547 00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:57,777 What? 548 00:28:57,861 --> 00:28:59,612 Oh, my God. God. 549 00:28:59,696 --> 00:29:01,281 God. Jeez. 550 00:29:01,364 --> 00:29:04,159 It's too early for that. 551 00:29:04,242 --> 00:29:05,201 I've got a headache. 552 00:29:05,285 --> 00:29:06,578 I thought you were dead. 553 00:29:06,661 --> 00:29:07,912 What? 554 00:29:07,996 --> 00:29:09,581 - What are you talking about? - TMZ. 555 00:29:09,664 --> 00:29:11,416 They published your obituary. 556 00:29:11,499 --> 00:29:13,001 Oh, my God! 557 00:29:13,084 --> 00:29:14,836 How does that even happen? 558 00:29:14,919 --> 00:29:16,671 They do advance obits of famous people, 559 00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:18,923 and sometimes they get leaked or misprinted. 560 00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:22,385 Happened to Abe Vigoda more than once. 561 00:29:22,469 --> 00:29:23,928 Jeez. 562 00:29:24,012 --> 00:29:26,139 Son of a bitch! Did you read this? 563 00:29:26,222 --> 00:29:27,807 I didn't get the chance. 564 00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:29,309 "Legendary comedian Deborah Vance, 565 00:29:29,392 --> 00:29:32,020 "known for her sardonic wit, is dead at 72. 566 00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:34,814 "Vance's last few years have been marked by extremes: 567 00:29:34,898 --> 00:29:37,233 "the high of becoming the first female late-night host 568 00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:39,360 "and the low of abruptly quitting the show on air, 569 00:29:39,444 --> 00:29:42,238 which led to the demise of the entire franchise." 570 00:29:42,322 --> 00:29:44,866 They're saying I killed late night. 571 00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:47,243 This is the lede to my fucking obituary? 572 00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:48,411 Cunts! 573 00:29:48,495 --> 00:29:50,038 Oh, my God. 574 00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:51,122 They used the R word. 575 00:29:51,206 --> 00:29:52,332 What? 576 00:29:52,415 --> 00:29:54,167 - "Retired." - Oh. 577 00:29:54,250 --> 00:29:55,293 They're saying I quit performing 578 00:29:55,376 --> 00:29:56,544 and I retired to Singapore. 579 00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:57,629 God. 580 00:29:57,712 --> 00:30:00,757 Motherfuckers! 581 00:30:07,013 --> 00:30:08,515 What are you doing? 582 00:30:08,598 --> 00:30:10,183 I'm packing! 583 00:30:10,266 --> 00:30:12,393 Get your shit. We're going home. 584 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:14,562 I'm packed; I was already leaving, remember? 585 00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:16,648 That is not how I am gonna be remembered. 586 00:30:16,731 --> 00:30:18,358 That will not be my legacy. 587 00:30:18,441 --> 00:30:19,734 I'm no quitter. 588 00:30:22,278 --> 00:30:24,197 We have some rewriting to do.