1
00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:04,589
[upbeat orchestral music playing]
2
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[woman] And thank you to my amazing
bridesmaids for making it out here
3
00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:52,053
to Alliance, Nebraska,
for our destination wedding.
4
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And finally, I'd like to raise a glass
to my Grandpa and Grandma Froimson
5
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for showing me
what true love should look like.
6
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Fifty years ago they went on a walk
and walked straight to the courthouse.
7
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They just knew.
8
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My grandpa called it
the "Froimson Feeling."
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00:01:08,778 --> 00:01:12,115
And, Eddie,
I have the Froimson Feeling for you.
10
00:01:12,949 --> 00:01:14,784
All right, bridesmaids. Time to dance.
11
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-[electronic music playing]
-[crowd cheers, whistles]
12
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I don't know this song.
Nicole never warned me about this.
13
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The instructions are in the song.
Just follow along.
14
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[male singer] ♪ To the right, to the right
To the left, to the right ♪
15
00:01:28,590 --> 00:01:29,966
♪ To the left, to the right ♪
16
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♪ To the left, to the left ♪
17
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♪ Step forward, to the right ♪
18
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:39,935
And now, it's time
for the bridesmaids' significant others
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to join the ladies on the dance floor.
20
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-Okay.
-Let's bring it home.
21
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♪ To the right, to the right
To the left, to the right ♪
22
00:01:48,235 --> 00:01:52,030
♪ To the left, to the right
To the left, to the left ♪
23
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♪ Step forward
To the right, to the right ♪
24
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You're good. Doing great.
25
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♪ Step backward
To the left, to the left ♪
26
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Would've been nice
if we'd danced together.
27
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I know, but line dancing,
weddings, the whole...
28
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I hate it. You know how much I hate it.
29
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Yeah, but you left me
up there alone, which I hate.
30
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I'm sorry.
31
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I love you. You know I love you, right?
32
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Yeah, I do.
33
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So Nicole and Eddie are married now.
34
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-Yeah. Yeah, crazy.
-[scoffs]
35
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Even though they started dating
a year after we did.
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Okay. What are the top three for tonight?
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Top three worst moments
of the evening. Go.
38
00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:47,794
Okay. Number one:
When Nicole's grandfather got so drunk
39
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that he started dancing with a tree.
40
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[both laughing]
41
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Well, you-- you can't deny
the Froimson Feeling. You really--
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Number two: I-- I gotta go with when
that girl came out of the photo booth
43
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-barefoot, holding a skewer of lamb.
-Oh, yeah.
44
00:03:02,142 --> 00:03:05,312
She definitely did not have that skewer
when she went in.
45
00:03:05,395 --> 00:03:06,938
[laughs] Uh-huh.
46
00:03:07,022 --> 00:03:12,652
And number three is
the DJ's choice of "Blurred Lines"
47
00:03:12,736 --> 00:03:14,279
for the daddy-daughter dance.
48
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The lines between daddies
and daughters are pretty clear.
49
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[laughing continues]
50
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[cockerel crows]
51
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[gasps]
52
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[exhales heavily]
53
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Damn gentlemen's punch.
54
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[Danny whistling]
55
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Good morning, sunshine.
56
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Hey! Thank you so much for last night.
57
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It was really fun. So I'll see you around?
58
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Yee honk.
59
00:03:51,316 --> 00:03:54,486
Where you off to so fast?
Aren't you gonna stay for breakfast?
60
00:03:54,569 --> 00:03:55,820
Oh, wow.
61
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This is a lot. You really went all out.
62
00:04:00,575 --> 00:04:03,703
Well, that's what a fellow does
when he's found the one.
63
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-The what now?
-[music starts]
64
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:09,459
♪ You done tamed me ♪
65
00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:13,004
♪ This buck no longer is free ♪
66
00:04:13,088 --> 00:04:16,507
♪ A lady doctor from New York City ♪
67
00:04:16,591 --> 00:04:19,886
♪ Smiled at me with her eyes all pretty ♪
68
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♪ Now I'm hooked and it's made me giddy ♪
69
00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:25,934
♪ You done tamed me ♪
70
00:04:26,017 --> 00:04:28,853
So what do you say?
You ready to make an honest man out of me?
71
00:04:29,563 --> 00:04:32,482
Oh, Danny, no.
72
00:04:32,566 --> 00:04:37,362
I'm flattered, uh, but I--
This was really more of a one-night thing.
73
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:41,616
Plus, you know, Josh and I,
we just had a little lovers' spat,
74
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:45,954
um, made some mistakes,
extremely hot mistakes.
75
00:04:46,037 --> 00:04:48,915
But-- Think we're gonna patch things up.
76
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So, yup.
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I'm gonna skedaddle on out of here.
78
00:04:53,587 --> 00:04:56,381
And you can go back to being
the town rapscallion.
79
00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,008
♪ But wait! ♪
80
00:04:59,009 --> 00:05:01,595
♪ How's a broken, busted carny like me ♪
81
00:05:01,678 --> 00:05:07,726
♪ Gonna provide for my brand-new
Highfalutin, big city bride ♪
82
00:05:07,809 --> 00:05:11,396
♪ With a kid that's on the way? ♪
83
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,857
Oh. Whoa, okay. I'm not your bride.
84
00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:15,525
And no need to worry about a baby
85
00:05:15,609 --> 00:05:17,777
'cause I have
this magic thing called an IUD.
86
00:05:17,861 --> 00:05:22,616
♪ Course if he's a boy
Everything will be fine ♪
87
00:05:22,699 --> 00:05:29,664
♪ But what if he's a girl? ♪
88
00:05:29,748 --> 00:05:35,837
♪ A dainty, delicate, pink-wearin'
Frills and curls girl? ♪
89
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♪ That'd change everything ♪
90
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But would it? Really?
And, again, I'm not preg--
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00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:46,389
♪ And so from this day forward I vow ♪
92
00:05:46,473 --> 00:05:51,937
♪ I'm gonna get me some money
Someway, somehow ♪
93
00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:57,234
I paid a colleague to insert
a copper, T-shaped device in my uterus
94
00:05:57,317 --> 00:05:58,818
to prevent the implantation of--
95
00:05:58,902 --> 00:06:02,447
♪ I gotta get some money
And there's no way to make it ♪
96
00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:03,531
Forget it.
97
00:06:03,615 --> 00:06:06,493
♪ So I'm gonna have to steal it
Or even take it ♪
98
00:06:06,576 --> 00:06:07,911
Those are the same thing.
99
00:06:07,994 --> 00:06:11,164
♪ Or filch it
Or pilfer it, or rob it, or swipe it ♪
100
00:06:11,248 --> 00:06:14,292
[through door]
♪ Or nick it, or thieve it ♪
101
00:06:14,376 --> 00:06:16,795
[fading] ♪ Or finagle it
Or abscond with it... ♪
102
00:06:19,005 --> 00:06:22,551
[women chattering, laughing]
103
00:06:23,718 --> 00:06:26,471
-[woman] Come on.
-Hey! Have any of you ladies seen Josh?
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[chanting] Show the ring.
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Show the ring. Show the ring.
Show the ring. Show the ring.
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Show the ring.
Show the ring. Show the ring.
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Ladies, I'm proud to announce
that from now on,
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00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:46,408
you can call me
Mrs. Doctor Josh Skinner MD.
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[women squealing, laughing]
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Yee honk.
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00:06:51,746 --> 00:06:54,416
Psst, Mel. Over here.
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You ass. You're engaged?
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00:07:00,922 --> 00:07:02,757
-[shushes]
-After all the meltdowns you'd have
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00:07:02,841 --> 00:07:06,553
anytime I'd very casually ask
to look at rings? Online?
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00:07:06,636 --> 00:07:08,054
He was going to shoot me.
116
00:07:08,638 --> 00:07:09,639
What? Who?
117
00:07:09,723 --> 00:07:11,433
The farmer. Betsy's father.
118
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He pointed a full-on
Elmer Fudd shotgun at my face
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and forced me to propose to her
on the spot. I had no choice!
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It's not funny!
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Oh, it kind of is.
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And, by the way, that girl is apparently
much younger than she looks.
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-[women giggling]
-[Melissa] Yeah, I tried to warn you.
124
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Have you not seen Sound of Music?
Liesl is 16 going on 29.
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-And he's a doctor! [sighs]
-[all sigh, giggle]
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[groans] Women were so underwritten
in early musicals.
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[door opens]
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Wait a minute.
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[gasps]
130
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-What?
-[door shuts]
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Harvey, what's going on?
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I'm so sorry, Miss Melissa.
133
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They just came over all of a sudden
and made me clean out your rooms.
134
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Who's "they"?
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Well, it's-- it's-- it's--
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[Mildred] It is we.
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00:08:01,775 --> 00:08:04,736
The concerned citizens of
the Mothers Against the Future.
138
00:08:04,819 --> 00:08:07,322
"The Mothers Against the Future"?
139
00:08:07,405 --> 00:08:10,075
So, you're against the passage of time?
140
00:08:10,158 --> 00:08:12,118
We are against city folk like you
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00:08:12,202 --> 00:08:14,829
contaminating our town
with your urban ways.
142
00:08:14,913 --> 00:08:19,084
Exhibit A: you went off into the woods
with an innocent girl and led her astray.
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00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:21,670
What? No-- No, I didn't.
Nothing even happened.
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00:08:21,753 --> 00:08:25,924
And exhibit B: you spent the night
with that known fornicator Danny Bailey.
145
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And also in my situation nothing happened.
146
00:08:29,553 --> 00:08:32,097
Just the same thing
that happened in his situation.
147
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,222
And you know what?
148
00:08:33,306 --> 00:08:37,226
We are both outraged
by these outlandish allegations.
149
00:08:37,310 --> 00:08:40,063
The only outrageous thing here
is your behavior,
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00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:43,191
which has now officially
been deemed as unseemly
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00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:44,734
by the Mothers Against the Future.
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Therefore, no one, and I mean no one,
in Schmigadoon will give you lodging.
153
00:08:49,197 --> 00:08:52,409
And, Harvey, don't even think about
letting them back in after I've left.
154
00:08:52,492 --> 00:08:53,868
I can read you like a book.
155
00:08:53,952 --> 00:08:56,079
Oh, wait, books have spines.
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[women laugh]
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Y'all have a nice day.
158
00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:02,335
Let's go, ladies.
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00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:09,134
[doors close]
160
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So you and the carny actually--
161
00:09:12,721 --> 00:09:15,390
-Why?
-Why-- Why did you do the basket auction?
162
00:09:15,473 --> 00:09:16,892
I--
163
00:09:16,975 --> 00:09:20,312
-Okay, look, we both made mistakes.
-Yeah.
164
00:09:20,395 --> 00:09:21,771
So let's just move on.
165
00:09:21,855 --> 00:09:23,565
We've got more important things
to deal with.
166
00:09:23,648 --> 00:09:25,483
For instance, me being shot to death.
167
00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:26,860
That's not gonna happen, Josh.
168
00:09:26,943 --> 00:09:29,821
We're in a musical, okay?
Nobody gets killed in a musical.
169
00:09:30,322 --> 00:09:32,574
Except Oklahoma! And Carousel.
170
00:09:32,657 --> 00:09:35,410
And South Pacific.
Oh, hello, West Side Story.
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00:09:35,493 --> 00:09:37,662
That sounds like all the musicals.
172
00:09:37,746 --> 00:09:40,373
So I'm dead, we have no place to stay,
and we're stuck here forever.
173
00:09:40,457 --> 00:09:42,584
No, we're not.
Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
174
00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:44,878
Uh, you go break things off with Betsy.
175
00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:46,504
The farmer's not gonna shoot you.
176
00:09:46,588 --> 00:09:50,300
And I will go find the mayor and see if he
can help us find another place to stay.
177
00:09:50,383 --> 00:09:51,718
And then what?
178
00:09:51,801 --> 00:09:55,180
And then-- [stammers]
We're smart, we found our way out of Ikea.
179
00:09:55,263 --> 00:09:57,224
We'll find a way out of here.
180
00:09:57,307 --> 00:09:58,767
Okay.
181
00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:00,393
Sounds good.
182
00:10:00,477 --> 00:10:01,478
I'm-- I'm gonna do it.
183
00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:03,521
You'll be fine, I promise.
184
00:10:10,445 --> 00:10:12,530
Hey, Betsy.
185
00:10:12,614 --> 00:10:16,660
Hey there. And that is
Mrs. Doctor Josh Skinner to you.
186
00:10:16,743 --> 00:10:17,911
-[laughs]
-[Josh mumbles]
187
00:10:17,994 --> 00:10:19,704
Oh, Betsy.
188
00:10:19,788 --> 00:10:21,831
So, there is something
we need to talk about.
189
00:10:21,915 --> 00:10:25,877
Well, no kidding.
I mean, there are so many plans to make.
190
00:10:25,961 --> 00:10:27,629
Oh, I just--
191
00:10:27,712 --> 00:10:30,090
I really can't wait to be married.
192
00:10:30,173 --> 00:10:33,093
Yeah, that's pretty clear.
But you know what?
193
00:10:33,176 --> 00:10:37,681
You are still young.
And how young, we'll probably never know.
194
00:10:37,764 --> 00:10:40,016
But you have your whole life ahead of you,
195
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:43,186
so there's no need
to rush into things, right?
196
00:10:45,063 --> 00:10:46,356
But if it's true love...
197
00:10:46,439 --> 00:10:48,275
Well, sure. But--
198
00:10:50,777 --> 00:10:51,778
Wait a minute.
199
00:10:52,696 --> 00:10:53,697
What if it is?
200
00:10:54,489 --> 00:10:57,951
I mean, who knows what
Schmigadoon thinks is true love, right?
201
00:10:58,034 --> 00:10:59,411
Maybe you're my way out.
202
00:11:00,537 --> 00:11:01,621
Your way out of what?
203
00:11:02,872 --> 00:11:06,668
But why are you so set on walking
across the footbridge right now?
204
00:11:06,751 --> 00:11:08,253
Is there some kind of romantic reason?
205
00:11:08,336 --> 00:11:09,421
-Yes, exactly.
-[gasps]
206
00:11:09,504 --> 00:11:12,465
There's a romantic reason.
A very romantic reason. [chuckles]
207
00:11:12,549 --> 00:11:14,259
Ooh. What is it?
208
00:11:14,342 --> 00:11:16,386
-I'm gonna tell you right now.
-Okay.
209
00:11:16,469 --> 00:11:17,804
What the reason is.
210
00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:23,727
Because it's... really romantic.
211
00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:24,811
Um...
212
00:11:27,856 --> 00:11:33,361
It's something my family calls
the "Skinner Feeling."
213
00:11:33,445 --> 00:11:34,613
The Skinner Feeling?
214
00:11:34,696 --> 00:11:37,574
Yes! So, over 50 years ago,
215
00:11:37,657 --> 00:11:40,952
my grandparents went for a walk
to the local footbridge.
216
00:11:41,036 --> 00:11:42,454
And after they crossed,
217
00:11:42,537 --> 00:11:45,749
they ended up walking straight
to the courthouse to get married.
218
00:11:45,832 --> 00:11:47,834
Grandpa said once he crossed
that bridge with Grandma,
219
00:11:47,918 --> 00:11:50,378
he knew, without a doubt,
it was true love.
220
00:11:51,213 --> 00:11:53,715
-It was the Skinner Feeling.
-That's right.
221
00:11:53,798 --> 00:11:57,052
And it's not to be doubted.
And only a Skinner can feel it.
222
00:11:58,511 --> 00:12:03,475
And the other person can never know
whether he does or doesn't.
223
00:12:03,558 --> 00:12:07,896
Dr. Josh Skinner, that is the
most beautiful thing that I've ever heard.
224
00:12:07,979 --> 00:12:09,898
Great. And so now it's tradition
225
00:12:09,981 --> 00:12:12,359
for a Skinner to cross a bridge
with their betrothed
226
00:12:12,442 --> 00:12:14,402
so they can be sure that it's true love.
227
00:12:14,486 --> 00:12:17,489
Well, I for one would be honored
to cross this bridge with you.
228
00:12:17,572 --> 00:12:19,407
-All right, sounds great. Let's do this.
-Okay.
229
00:12:19,491 --> 00:12:21,701
[sweeping music playing]
230
00:12:26,706 --> 00:12:27,874
[music fades]
231
00:12:27,958 --> 00:12:29,125
Damn it.
232
00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:33,630
So did you feel it?
Just like your Grandpa Skinner did?
233
00:12:34,381 --> 00:12:35,882
Actually, no.
234
00:12:35,966 --> 00:12:37,884
-I'm so sorry, Betsy.
-But--
235
00:12:38,885 --> 00:12:42,222
So then it's not true love?
Are we not getting married?
236
00:12:42,305 --> 00:12:44,808
I guess not.
I'm-- I'm as confused as you are.
237
00:12:45,809 --> 00:12:49,354
Damn this Skinner Feeling!
It's a-- It's a curse is what it is.
238
00:12:50,438 --> 00:12:52,774
Papa's not gonna like this.
239
00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:55,777
Yeah, so maybe we should
hold off letting him know
240
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:59,072
out of consideration
for his feelings and my life?
241
00:12:59,155 --> 00:13:00,949
Papa!
242
00:13:01,032 --> 00:13:03,118
-Wait! Seriously, don't tell Papa!
-[sobbing]
243
00:13:04,035 --> 00:13:07,414
You'll-- You'll be okay, Betsy!
There are plenty other guys out there!
244
00:13:07,497 --> 00:13:09,958
Maybe some closer to your own age!
245
00:13:10,041 --> 00:13:11,167
Whatever that is.
246
00:13:11,251 --> 00:13:12,335
[sobbing continues]
247
00:13:12,419 --> 00:13:13,587
You just have to...
248
00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:18,967
keep trying.
249
00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:21,303
[woman] So,
what can I help you with, dear?
250
00:13:21,386 --> 00:13:23,889
I'm actually looking for the mayor.
Is he in?
251
00:13:23,972 --> 00:13:27,058
Sorry, no. He's on one of his walks again.
252
00:13:27,142 --> 00:13:29,227
He just loves going on his walks.
253
00:13:29,311 --> 00:13:31,396
How are you finding your rooms at the inn?
254
00:13:32,022 --> 00:13:35,275
I always use a long piece of string
tied to the doorknob.
255
00:13:35,358 --> 00:13:37,402
Actually, that's why I'm here.
256
00:13:37,485 --> 00:13:39,738
Turns out,
Mildred Layton got us kicked out
257
00:13:39,821 --> 00:13:42,574
and told everybody in town
not to put us up.
258
00:13:42,657 --> 00:13:45,076
So I was hoping maybe
the mayor could intervene?
259
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,328
Oh, no.
260
00:13:46,411 --> 00:13:49,789
The mayor doesn't want to run afoul of
the Mothers Against the Future.
261
00:13:50,498 --> 00:13:52,208
I think they're witches.
262
00:13:53,293 --> 00:13:55,545
So, where are we supposed to stay?
263
00:13:55,629 --> 00:13:58,965
I'm not sure.
Would you be staying together?
264
00:13:59,716 --> 00:14:03,678
I think so.
It's still a little complicated.
265
00:14:03,762 --> 00:14:08,016
Hmm. You know, I heard Doc Lopez
was looking for a new nurse.
266
00:14:08,099 --> 00:14:10,143
And the position comes
with room and board.
267
00:14:10,227 --> 00:14:14,439
I'm, uh, a little overqualified
to be a nurse. I'm actually a doctor.
268
00:14:16,816 --> 00:14:20,737
Well, maybe the mayor will be able to
help you once he gets back from his walk.
269
00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:23,114
He just loves his walks.
270
00:14:23,198 --> 00:14:28,453
Sometimes he's gone for hours on end
just walking and walking.
271
00:14:30,622 --> 00:14:34,000
Mrs. Menlove, forgive me for asking,
272
00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:39,130
but how much do you really know
about your husband?
273
00:14:39,965 --> 00:14:42,259
-That's a good question.
-[gentle music playing]
274
00:14:42,342 --> 00:14:44,970
He's a hard man to know, it seems.
275
00:14:45,762 --> 00:14:47,055
Different.
276
00:14:47,847 --> 00:14:53,562
♪ Some men like to fight and curse
They smoke and drink and yell ♪
277
00:14:54,104 --> 00:14:59,651
♪ Leave you flat, or even worse
They stay and make life hell ♪
278
00:14:59,734 --> 00:15:05,657
♪ But my man is gentle
As soft and sentimental ♪
279
00:15:06,324 --> 00:15:11,246
♪ As any lace adorned a valentine ♪
280
00:15:11,329 --> 00:15:14,332
♪ He's a queer one ♪
281
00:15:14,416 --> 00:15:21,047
♪ That man o' mine ♪
282
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:22,841
Oh, honey.
283
00:15:23,508 --> 00:15:28,889
♪ Some men stumble home at dark
Want dinner and dessert ♪
284
00:15:29,931 --> 00:15:35,145
♪ Other men have eyes that spark
At every passing skirt ♪
285
00:15:35,854 --> 00:15:41,568
♪ But my man loves cookin'
I've never caught him lookin' ♪
286
00:15:41,651 --> 00:15:47,073
♪ At other gals more young
Petite, or fine ♪
287
00:15:47,157 --> 00:15:50,452
♪ He's a queer one ♪
288
00:15:50,535 --> 00:15:56,541
♪ That man o' mine ♪
289
00:15:57,459 --> 00:15:59,878
This was literally me in high school.
290
00:15:59,961 --> 00:16:05,842
♪ Show me any other man
More tender or expressive ♪
291
00:16:05,926 --> 00:16:09,971
♪ I only wish that nightly ♪
292
00:16:10,055 --> 00:16:15,518
♪ He were slightly more aggressive ♪
293
00:16:15,602 --> 00:16:16,770
There it is.
294
00:16:16,853 --> 00:16:22,025
♪ Sometimes it may seem like
He is too good to be true ♪
295
00:16:22,692 --> 00:16:28,657
♪ Like there's a man that I can't see
Just aching to break through ♪
296
00:16:28,740 --> 00:16:34,037
♪ I wish I could free him
So I could finally see him ♪
297
00:16:34,704 --> 00:16:39,834
♪ The way he truly is
And let him shine ♪
298
00:16:39,918 --> 00:16:43,922
♪ He's a queer one ♪
299
00:16:44,005 --> 00:16:50,971
♪ That man o' mine ♪
300
00:16:56,309 --> 00:17:00,146
Mrs. Menlove, you could always give
your husband a little nudge
301
00:17:00,230 --> 00:17:02,482
to help him break out of his shell.
302
00:17:02,566 --> 00:17:04,234
Oh, no. I could never do that.
303
00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:06,945
-That's for him to decide, not me.
-[door opens]
304
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,823
[lisping] It's off! It's off!
Doctor Skinner's called it off.
305
00:17:09,906 --> 00:17:11,283
Carson, what's this about?
306
00:17:11,366 --> 00:17:12,784
Wait. Who called what off now?
307
00:17:12,867 --> 00:17:14,953
Also is he just allowed
to burst in everywhere?
308
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:17,747
Dr. Skinner!
He's broken off the engagement.
309
00:17:17,831 --> 00:17:22,127
And now Betsy's devastated.
It's off! It's off! [pants]
310
00:17:23,670 --> 00:17:28,007
Wow. He did it. He actually did it.
311
00:17:28,675 --> 00:17:32,929
Maybe Josh is finally ready
to commit to working on us.
312
00:17:33,013 --> 00:17:36,892
And Grandpa said when he'd crossed
that bridge with Grandma,
313
00:17:36,975 --> 00:17:39,811
that he knew, without a doubt,
that it was true love.
314
00:17:39,895 --> 00:17:40,896
[woman] Oh, my.
315
00:17:40,979 --> 00:17:43,398
He called it the "Skinner Feeling."
316
00:17:43,481 --> 00:17:44,858
[women chuckle]
317
00:17:44,941 --> 00:17:47,027
So which of you ladies wants
to cross this bridge with me?
318
00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:49,863
Let's move it along 'cause there may or
may not be a farmer who wants to kill me.
319
00:17:49,946 --> 00:17:51,239
I hope it's me.
320
00:17:51,323 --> 00:17:53,575
I didn't know about this
until ten seconds ago,
321
00:17:53,658 --> 00:17:55,619
but now it's my only dream.
322
00:17:55,702 --> 00:17:56,786
[gentle music playing]
323
00:17:56,870 --> 00:18:00,665
Sure, yeah! Let's make it a number!
Why the hell not?
324
00:18:00,749 --> 00:18:06,046
♪ I've heard it so often
That I'm numb to it ♪
325
00:18:06,129 --> 00:18:11,551
♪ "Let's cross that bridge
When we come to it" ♪
326
00:18:11,635 --> 00:18:16,890
♪ But now that I'm single
Still at twenty-three ♪
327
00:18:16,973 --> 00:18:22,229
♪ I've got a new philosophy ♪
328
00:18:23,271 --> 00:18:27,150
♪ Find that bridge
And cross it now ♪
329
00:18:27,234 --> 00:18:31,404
♪ Find that bridge
And cross it right now ♪
330
00:18:31,488 --> 00:18:35,867
♪ Let the other gals keep waiting
Wasting time, procrastinating ♪
331
00:18:35,951 --> 00:18:39,329
♪ Find that bridge
And cross it right now ♪
332
00:18:39,412 --> 00:18:41,331
-♪ Find that guy ♪
-[chorus] ♪ Find that guy ♪
333
00:18:41,414 --> 00:18:43,416
-♪ And get that ring ♪
-♪ And get that ring ♪
334
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:47,629
♪ Find that guy
And getcha that ring ♪
335
00:18:47,712 --> 00:18:51,758
♪ Let the other ladies falter
As they're racing for the altar ♪
336
00:18:51,841 --> 00:18:56,388
♪ Find that guy
And getcha that ring, ring, ring ♪
337
00:18:56,471 --> 00:19:00,141
♪ Here come the groom, here come the bride
Let's all meet 'em on the other side ♪
338
00:19:00,225 --> 00:19:04,312
♪ Here come the groom, here come the bride
Let's all meet 'em on the other side ♪
339
00:19:04,396 --> 00:19:08,650
♪ Let's all meet 'em on the other side
Let's all meet 'em on the other side ♪
340
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:11,611
-[inhales] Oh.
-Oh.
341
00:19:11,695 --> 00:19:15,949
It's-- I'm sorry. Oh. I hate--
Good to-- Bye.
342
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:20,787
♪ It's not a metaphor
Oh, no, it's something more ♪
343
00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:24,708
♪ It's a literal bridge ♪
344
00:19:24,791 --> 00:19:29,921
♪ Sister, get that mister ♪
345
00:19:30,005 --> 00:19:32,424
♪ Go get him ♪
346
00:19:33,383 --> 00:19:37,095
♪ It's not a metaphor
Oh, no, it's something more ♪
347
00:19:37,178 --> 00:19:39,890
♪ It's a literal bridge ♪
348
00:19:39,973 --> 00:19:40,974
[Josh] No.
349
00:19:41,057 --> 00:19:46,229
♪ Sister, get that mister ♪
350
00:19:46,313 --> 00:19:48,523
♪ Go get him ♪
351
00:19:48,607 --> 00:19:51,568
-♪ Find that bridge and cross it now ♪
-♪ It's not a metaphor ♪
352
00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:53,445
♪ Oh, no, it's something more ♪
353
00:19:53,528 --> 00:19:56,406
-♪ Find that bridge and cross it now ♪
-♪ It's a literal bridge ♪
354
00:19:56,489 --> 00:19:58,950
-[Josh] Next, please. Go.
-♪ Every day you're hesitating ♪
355
00:19:59,034 --> 00:20:00,660
♪ Is a day your looks are fading ♪
356
00:20:00,744 --> 00:20:02,078
♪ Find that bridge ♪
357
00:20:02,162 --> 00:20:04,998
-♪ And cross it right now ♪
-Okay. All right. As I suspected.
358
00:20:05,081 --> 00:20:09,419
-♪ Find that bridge and cross it now ♪
-[lead singer vocalizes]
359
00:20:09,502 --> 00:20:10,962
Someone's gotta be the right one!
360
00:20:11,046 --> 00:20:13,131
♪ Find that bridge and cross it right
Oh, cross it now ♪
361
00:20:13,215 --> 00:20:17,219
♪ All the gals who dillydally
End up dying in an alley ♪
362
00:20:17,302 --> 00:20:23,934
♪ Find that bridge
And cross it right now ♪
363
00:20:24,017 --> 00:20:26,269
-♪ Cross that bridge right now! ♪
-[music ends]
364
00:20:26,353 --> 00:20:28,897
All right, uh, who's next?
365
00:20:30,148 --> 00:20:31,900
Come on, that can't be everyone.
366
00:20:32,692 --> 00:20:34,402
Really? There's no one left?
367
00:20:35,987 --> 00:20:37,489
Oh, yes!
368
00:20:39,950 --> 00:20:42,327
-Unbelievable.
-Mel.
369
00:20:42,410 --> 00:20:43,995
This is what you've been doing all day?
370
00:20:44,079 --> 00:20:45,080
It was an experiment.
371
00:20:45,163 --> 00:20:47,499
I was trying to figure out a way
to get us out of here.
372
00:20:47,582 --> 00:20:49,125
You mean for you to get out of here?
373
00:20:49,209 --> 00:20:53,296
While I run around town
trying to find a place for us to stay?
374
00:20:54,297 --> 00:20:57,884
It's like you are incapable
of doing anything
375
00:20:57,968 --> 00:21:01,012
but whatever takes the least amount
of emotional effort.
376
00:21:01,096 --> 00:21:03,098
For the record,
I don't know how you define "effort,"
377
00:21:03,181 --> 00:21:04,516
but there was a huge dance number.
378
00:21:05,850 --> 00:21:07,769
-Goodbye, Josh.
-Mel-- Mel, come on.
379
00:21:07,852 --> 00:21:11,064
No, no, no.
Clearly we're just out for ourselves now.
380
00:21:11,856 --> 00:21:13,525
-Mel.
-Screw you, Josh.
381
00:21:13,608 --> 00:21:15,151
[sighs]
382
00:21:15,235 --> 00:21:16,486
[gunshot]
383
00:21:17,279 --> 00:21:19,406
You broke my daughter's heart.
384
00:21:19,489 --> 00:21:22,117
-She told Papa!
-You're dead meat.
385
00:21:24,536 --> 00:21:26,204
[Josh] Yeah, that's a real gun.
386
00:21:26,288 --> 00:21:27,414
Get back here, you!
387
00:21:28,623 --> 00:21:30,584
[man] Ouch! My bottom!
388
00:21:30,667 --> 00:21:31,877
Sorry, Pete!
389
00:21:43,179 --> 00:21:45,098
[panting]
390
00:21:47,767 --> 00:21:49,769
This sucks!
391
00:21:50,437 --> 00:21:52,355
-[exhales] Oh.
-Dr. Skinner?
392
00:21:52,439 --> 00:21:55,567
Hi, Reverend. Sorry, I--
Are you open, or...
393
00:21:55,650 --> 00:21:59,070
The house of the Lord is always open.
Stay as long as you'd like.
394
00:21:59,154 --> 00:22:01,364
Beats going home, right? [chuckles]
395
00:22:03,658 --> 00:22:04,910
Is something bothering you?
396
00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:06,870
[sighs]
397
00:22:07,996 --> 00:22:09,414
Sure, why not?
398
00:22:13,752 --> 00:22:15,212
[Josh sighs]
399
00:22:17,172 --> 00:22:19,174
I've had a rough couple of days here, Rev.
400
00:22:19,257 --> 00:22:20,926
My girlfriend and I broke up,
401
00:22:21,009 --> 00:22:25,138
then I was forced to propose at gunpoint,
and now it seems like I'm stuck here.
402
00:22:25,222 --> 00:22:29,434
Because apparently there's no way for me
to find true love. Whatever that means.
403
00:22:29,517 --> 00:22:33,104
Well, the good book has
something to say about that.
404
00:22:34,105 --> 00:22:37,651
"True love bears all things,
believes all things,
405
00:22:37,734 --> 00:22:40,695
hopes all things, and endures all things."
406
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:43,990
In other words, it's a lot of work.
407
00:22:44,074 --> 00:22:47,035
So, it's probably not something you find.
408
00:22:47,118 --> 00:22:49,120
It's probably something you make.
409
00:22:51,414 --> 00:22:52,624
But what if I--
410
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,919
What if I'm just not capable of that?
411
00:22:58,004 --> 00:22:59,005
[knocks]
412
00:22:59,089 --> 00:23:02,133
[gasps] If that's Farmer McDonough,
tell him I've left town.
413
00:23:07,639 --> 00:23:09,391
Emma, what brings you by so late?
414
00:23:09,474 --> 00:23:12,769
Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep,
so I cleaned out Carson's closet.
415
00:23:12,852 --> 00:23:14,312
I thought the poor could use these.
416
00:23:14,396 --> 00:23:18,275
Emma, this is wonderful.
We needed more sailor suits, thank you.
417
00:23:18,358 --> 00:23:21,444
Don't worry about it, Reverend.
See you at the bake sale.
418
00:23:24,322 --> 00:23:27,409
Now, to answer your question,
I believe that everyone--
419
00:23:27,492 --> 00:23:28,743
Who was that?
420
00:23:28,827 --> 00:23:30,620
Emma Tate, the schoolmarm.
421
00:23:30,704 --> 00:23:34,374
Schoolmarm? And "marm" is what, again?
Does that mean she's married, or--
422
00:23:34,457 --> 00:23:37,836
Oh, no. Emma's made it abundantly clear
she's got no use for marriage.
423
00:23:39,421 --> 00:23:40,881
I wish I'd had her strength.
424
00:23:43,884 --> 00:23:46,136
She didn't try
to cross the bridge with me.
425
00:23:46,761 --> 00:23:47,804
It's gotta be her.
426
00:23:49,055 --> 00:23:53,059
[somber music playing]
427
00:23:55,061 --> 00:24:00,025
♪ So, here I am
Back on my own ♪
428
00:24:00,108 --> 00:24:04,237
♪ Wanderin' the streets of town alone ♪
429
00:24:05,113 --> 00:24:09,576
♪ Things with Josh have gone from
Bad to worse ♪
430
00:24:11,286 --> 00:24:13,455
♪ Guess it's time to-- ♪
431
00:24:13,538 --> 00:24:15,373
[knocks rhythmically]
432
00:24:17,459 --> 00:24:19,502
-Yes?
-Doc Lopez?
433
00:24:19,586 --> 00:24:21,463
-That's me.
-Who is it, dear?
434
00:24:21,546 --> 00:24:24,674
I'm Melissa Gimble.
I'm here about the nurse position.
435
00:24:24,758 --> 00:24:28,637
Oh, then you have the wrong Doc Lopez.
Uh, one moment.
436
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,096
You'll be wanting our son.
437
00:24:30,180 --> 00:24:32,140
Jorge, someone's here to see you.
438
00:24:36,519 --> 00:24:37,729
Hello.
439
00:24:41,858 --> 00:24:43,652
Yee honk.
440
00:24:48,448 --> 00:24:52,327
♪ Find that bridge
And cross it now ♪
441
00:24:52,410 --> 00:24:56,581
♪ Find that bridge
And cross it right now ♪
442
00:24:56,665 --> 00:25:01,044
♪ Let the other gals keep waiting
Wasting time, procrastinating ♪
443
00:25:01,127 --> 00:25:04,506
♪ Find that bridge
And cross it right now ♪
444
00:25:04,589 --> 00:25:06,508
-♪ Find that guy ♪
-♪ Find that guy ♪
445
00:25:06,591 --> 00:25:08,593
-♪ And get that ring ♪
-♪ And get that ring ♪
446
00:25:08,677 --> 00:25:12,806
♪ Find that guy
And getcha that ring ♪
447
00:25:12,889 --> 00:25:16,935
♪ Let the other ladies falter
As they're racing for the altar ♪
448
00:25:17,018 --> 00:25:21,565
♪ Find that guy
And getcha that ring, ring, ring ♪
449
00:25:21,648 --> 00:25:25,569
♪ Here come the groom, here come the bride
Let's all meet 'em on the other side ♪
450
00:25:25,652 --> 00:25:27,904
♪ Let's all meet 'em on the other side ♪
451
00:25:27,988 --> 00:25:30,532
[song continues]
452
00:25:35,287 --> 00:25:39,082
♪ It's not a metaphor
Oh, no, it's something more ♪
453
00:25:39,165 --> 00:25:43,169
♪ It's a literal bridge ♪
454
00:25:43,253 --> 00:25:48,091
♪ Sister, get that mister ♪
455
00:25:48,174 --> 00:25:50,594
♪ Go get him ♪
456
00:25:50,677 --> 00:25:54,556
♪ Find that bridge and cross it now ♪
457
00:25:54,639 --> 00:25:58,894
♪ Find that bridge and cross it right
Oh, cross it now ♪
458
00:25:58,977 --> 00:26:02,981
♪ All the gals who dillydally
End up dying in an alley ♪
459
00:26:03,064 --> 00:26:09,696
♪ Find that bridge
And cross it right now ♪
460
00:26:09,779 --> 00:26:11,406
♪ Cross that bridge right now ♪