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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
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I'm gonna miss you so much.
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Well, you'll come and visit me
and, uh, I'll call.
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- I love you so much.
- Oh, me, too.
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Still some packing to do.
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Got a big day tomorrow.
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- Okay, Mom. I'm coming.
- Early start and a long drive.
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Goodbye.
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ANNIE: Bye, Mrs. Sawyer. (CHUCKLES)
JASON: Bye.
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- She hates me.
- No she doesn't.
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- She doesn't.
- No, she really, really does.
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But I love you. Okay?
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I... I gotta go.
I'll call you when I get there.
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Call me from the road.
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Okay, it's a three-hour drive
to Michigan State.
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We're gonna be okay.
I'll see you soon.
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- Okay. Mmm-hmm.
- Promise.
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You bet your ass you will.
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{\an8}(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
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Sittin' here
eatin' my heart out, waitin'
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{\an8}Waitin' for some lover to call
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{\an8}- Dialed about a thousand numbers lately
- (TYPING)
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{\an8}Almost rang the phone off the wall
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{\an8}Lookin' for a lover who needs another
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{\an8}- Don't want another night on my own
- (COUGHING)
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Wanna share my love
with a warm-blooded lover
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{\an8}Wanna bring a wild man back home
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{\an8}Oh, shit.
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{\an8}Gotta have some hot love
baby, this evenin'
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{\an8}I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight
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{\an8}I want some hot stuff, baby, this evenin'
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{\an8}- Gotta have some lovin'
- (GRUNTS)
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{\an8}Gotta have some love tonight
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- Hot stuff
- (YELLS)
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(FABRIC RIPPING)
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Oh, no.
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Oh. Yeah, I'm bare back there. Okay.
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(OVEN TIMER BEEPING)
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(SOFTLY) Shit.
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{\an8}Oh, god damn it. God damn it.
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{\an8}-(TEARS)
- (YELLS)
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{\an8}-(DOG BARKING)
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
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{\an8}I need hot stuff
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{\an8}PATRICIA: Hello?
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{\an8}I want some hot stuff
That's right
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{\an8}Hello?
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{\an8}ANNIE: Yeah. Okay. Here we go.
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{\an8}(GRUNTING)
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{\an8}(TIMER BEEPS)
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{\an8}Oh...
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{\an8}(EXHALES)
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{\an8}(GRUNTS)
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{\an8}-Oh, yeah.
- (SONG CONTINUES)
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{\an8}Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff
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{\an8}Hot, hot, hot
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{\an8}Oh, shit.
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{\an8}Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff
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{\an8}Hot, hot, hot
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{\an8}How's about some hot stuff
baby, this evenin'?
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{\an8}Ooh, I need your loving
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{\an8}Gotta have your hot stuff tonight
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{\an8}Hot stuff
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{\an8}(PORN ACTRESS MOANING IN VIDEO)
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- Annie?
- Hi.
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- Oh!
- (SONG CONTINUES)
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Hot stuff
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- (SONG ENDS)
- PORN ACTRESS: Oh, yes!
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Oh...
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{\an8}(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
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Patricia! I'm dying for
a piece of that pie, hon.
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(TV PLAYING)
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- Surprise.
- What are you doin'?
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You leave for college tomorrow
and I wanted to give you
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a night to remember.
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- Sex.
- Oh.
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- I want to give you sex.
- Sure. Yeah.
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- Sex with me, tonight, now.
- Yeah. Yeah, okay.
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- (CHUCKLES)
- Cool. I just...
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I thought you didn't want to.
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Oh, of course I want to.
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- I just want it to be special.
- Yeah.
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- And romantic. And perfect.
- Right. Yeah.
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I love you
and I wanna lose my virginity to you.
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Oh, that's... That's so nice.
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- That is a Christmas card.
- That's what I said.
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- I'm gonna take a picture.
- My parents would love to see his face.
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You wanna do the thing?
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Guess what I'm wearing under my coat.
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Oh, I'm so ready. I'm so ready.
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JASON: Oh, my... Oh, what... Uh...
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That's not what I wanted.
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Wow, what a beautiful pie.
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PATRICIA: Hi.
FRED: Hello.
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PEEPAW: Who the hell is it?
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PATRICIA: It's me, Daddy.
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- You're on a video chat. Yeah.
- It's a video chat.
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What're you doing on TV?
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- Maybe you need, like, a doctor?
- No. No.
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- Need some ointment or something... Oh.
- Shut up.
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Let's go upstairs
and see your grandson, huh?
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- We made this pie for him.
- PATRICIA: Yeah. It's really hot.
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FRED: She did
such a good job.
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MEEMAW: Where are you?
PEEPAW: I'm right here.
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MEEMAW: No, not you.
I'm talking to them.
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We're going upstairs, Mom.
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And Jason's gonna be surprised.
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- Just wait.
- Just wait.
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- Who's Jason?
- Jason's your grandson, honey.
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PEEPAW: What channel is this?
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Hmm.
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Oh! What is that?
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{\an8}(MUFFLED)
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{\an8}What?
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Uh-huh. Sure. Okay. Yeah.
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(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
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(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
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- PATRICIA: Honey.
- (BOTH GASP)
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We have a surprise for you.
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PATRICIA: Jason?
FRED: Jason.
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Girl's got a prophylactic
in her mouth.
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(PATRICIA WHIMPERS)
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Hold on, Mom. I'm not dressed.
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(GASPS)
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- Are you choking on the...
- (CHOKING)
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PATRICIA: (BANGING ON DOOR)
Jason Sawyer, open this door!
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Sorry, Mom,
I got a charley horse in my leg.
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Can you bring me the banana
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- for the potassium?
- (BOTH GRUNTING)
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(GASPS)
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JASON: Okay.
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I love you very much.
132
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But, uh, you gotta go.
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Okay. Bye.
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(SCREAMING)
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- (ANNIE GRUNTS)
- (CAT YOWLS)
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(DOG BARKING)
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(GASPS)
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- PATRICIA: (BANGING ON DOOR) Jason Sawyer!
- Sorry, Mom.
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That damned charley horse. (CHUCKLES)
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Meemaw and Peepaw saw your penis.
141
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(SLOW MUSIC PLAYS)
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(CELL PHONE CHIMING)
143
00:07:03,233 --> 00:07:04,984
- (BED CLACKING)
- KAYLA: No. Not yet. Ow!
144
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TIM: You're so smart and gorgeous.
145
00:07:06,903 --> 00:07:08,822
- Now?
- KAYLA: Not yet. I'll tell you when.
146
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Just a little higher.
147
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- TIM: You're my princess. (GRUNTING)
- Rub softer but faster.
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- Smash that pussy now! Now!
- (TIM PANTING)
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TIM: I cherish you. I cherish you.
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(BOTH MOANING LOUDLY)
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(BOTH PANTING)
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- Fuck yeah.
- Yeah.
153
00:07:27,382 --> 00:07:30,677
We are the greatest couple ever.
154
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No one has sex like we do.
155
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I mean, I've never had sex like this,
but you're my first, so I don't know.
156
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:39,561
Hey.
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I showed you that you're in my
lobster poems I wrote about you, right?
158
00:07:43,398 --> 00:07:46,609
Yeah, but, like, how amazing?
159
00:07:46,693 --> 00:07:49,070
Like, oh, I don't know...
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Better than the other girls?
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- You're doing it again.
- (CHUCKLES)
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I'm not jealous. I'm just asking.
163
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Yeah. It starts with asking
and then you spiral.
164
00:08:01,499 --> 00:08:02,584
(CLATTERING)
165
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,754
Are you filming us?
166
00:08:07,881 --> 00:08:10,383
You little shit!
That is a total violation.
167
00:08:10,466 --> 00:08:11,509
Not cool, Keenan.
168
00:08:11,593 --> 00:08:16,347
You respect my boundaries,
you little shit!
169
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- (SIGHS)
- Get back here! Give me that phone!
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00:08:21,269 --> 00:08:24,647
You will learn
about emotional intelligence.
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Delete that video!
The framing isn't even good!
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(TYPING)
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(SIGHS)
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00:08:32,822 --> 00:08:34,908
Again? Really?
175
00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:39,579
- Kayla!
- Oops. Sorry. Love you.
176
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Who the fuck is Monica?
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I do not shrink
from this responsibility.
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I welcome it.
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(MICHELLE MOANS)
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00:08:51,674 --> 00:08:54,469
- (MICHELLE GROANS)
- I do not believe that any of us...
181
00:08:55,887 --> 00:08:59,182
- (MICHELLE SIGHS)
- The energy, the faith, the devotion...
182
00:08:59,265 --> 00:09:01,476
- MICHELLE: Here we go.
- ...which we bring to this endeavor...
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00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:03,937
- Oh, yeah.
- ...will light our country and all...
184
00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:05,271
- (SEX TOY BUZZING)
- Bring it home now.
185
00:09:05,355 --> 00:09:09,776
{\an8}And the glow from that fire
can truly light the world.
186
00:09:09,859 --> 00:09:11,778
And so, my fellow Americans,
187
00:09:11,861 --> 00:09:15,990
ask not what your country
can do for you...
188
00:09:16,074 --> 00:09:17,075
(MOANING LOUDLY)
189
00:09:17,158 --> 00:09:19,786
- ...ask what you can do for your country.
- (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
190
00:09:19,869 --> 00:09:22,956
You can ring my bell
191
00:09:23,039 --> 00:09:25,208
Ring my bell
192
00:09:25,291 --> 00:09:26,417
(MICHELLE MOANS SOFTLY)
193
00:09:26,501 --> 00:09:28,670
You can ring my bell
194
00:09:29,379 --> 00:09:30,380
{\an8}(SONG ENDS)
195
00:09:30,463 --> 00:09:31,631
{\an8}(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)
196
00:09:32,632 --> 00:09:35,051
- STEPHANIE: Principal Shankman.
- Stephanie.
197
00:09:36,177 --> 00:09:37,178
SHANKMAN: Whoo!
198
00:09:37,262 --> 00:09:39,138
Been waitin' for you. (CHUCKLING)
199
00:09:39,973 --> 00:09:41,391
That outfit's amazing.
200
00:09:41,474 --> 00:09:44,477
I'm glad you reconsidered,
decided to take me up on my offer.
201
00:09:44,561 --> 00:09:46,896
- Strip, slave.
- (CHUCKLES) Kinky.
202
00:09:47,313 --> 00:09:49,232
- You like that?
- I like it. I like it.
203
00:09:49,315 --> 00:09:51,317
- Are you excited?
- Oh, yes, Mistress.
204
00:09:51,734 --> 00:09:53,528
- Handcuffs.
- Handcuffs, yeah.
205
00:09:53,611 --> 00:09:54,737
(WHIP CRACKING)
206
00:09:54,821 --> 00:09:56,906
- Is that a whip?
- Yes, it is.
207
00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:59,159
(CHUCKLES AND MIMICS
WHIP CRACKING)
208
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:00,952
(WHIP CONTINUES CRACKING)
209
00:10:01,452 --> 00:10:03,121
- See, it's an app.
- Oh.
210
00:10:03,204 --> 00:10:05,165
- It's for S and M freaks like you.
- I like it.
211
00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:06,249
I don't really understand it but...
212
00:10:06,332 --> 00:10:07,792
Yeah, 'cause you're fucking stupid.
213
00:10:07,876 --> 00:10:09,669
You know, can you do
the mommy thing again?
214
00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:11,796
The kids at school are gonna love that.
215
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,298
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
Are you filming me?
216
00:10:13,381 --> 00:10:16,384
Fuck, yeah. See, I've had it with you,
Principal Shankman,
217
00:10:16,467 --> 00:10:19,053
hitting on me and the other girls.
It's gross.
218
00:10:19,137 --> 00:10:22,098
And I really don't want your pervy,
sexual harassing ass around
219
00:10:22,182 --> 00:10:23,349
for my senior year, so...
220
00:10:23,683 --> 00:10:25,351
Welcome to your retirement party.
221
00:10:25,435 --> 00:10:26,978
Young lady, take the handcuffs off.
222
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,480
Oh, no, no, no.
223
00:10:28,563 --> 00:10:30,940
See, I'm in charge now,
you creepy fuck.
224
00:10:31,024 --> 00:10:32,901
Retire or this video goes viral.
225
00:10:33,485 --> 00:10:35,653
So, take the weekend,
think about what you've done.
226
00:10:35,737 --> 00:10:38,448
And I hope this teaches you
a very valuable lesson.
227
00:10:39,449 --> 00:10:42,368
Never, ever fuck with a Stifler.
228
00:10:46,623 --> 00:10:47,832
- Stephanie!
- Bye!
229
00:10:47,916 --> 00:10:50,293
Stifler! Stifler!
230
00:10:51,252 --> 00:10:52,378
You're in big trouble.
231
00:10:52,462 --> 00:10:53,463
(DOOR CLOSES)
232
00:10:53,546 --> 00:10:54,547
I'm in bigger trouble.
233
00:10:55,131 --> 00:10:56,799
STEPHANIE: Are you
fucking kidding me?
234
00:10:56,883 --> 00:11:00,094
You choked on a blowjob condom
and you don't even get slammed?
235
00:11:00,178 --> 00:11:01,971
It's called a dental dam.
236
00:11:02,055 --> 00:11:03,223
Why does no one know this?
237
00:11:03,306 --> 00:11:05,475
Okay. So you use
a dental dam for safety,
238
00:11:05,558 --> 00:11:08,520
but you still fell out of a window
and you did not get laid.
239
00:11:08,603 --> 00:11:10,313
Yeah, I get it. I messed up.
240
00:11:10,396 --> 00:11:12,190
I'm sorry if I wanted my first time
241
00:11:12,273 --> 00:11:14,609
- to be both safe and beautiful, okay?
- (ALL GROAN)
242
00:11:14,692 --> 00:11:16,694
- Come on.
- Sex isn't supposed to be beautiful.
243
00:11:16,778 --> 00:11:19,572
It's supposed to be hot
and dirty and hungry!
244
00:11:19,656 --> 00:11:21,825
ANNIE: I am going to do it
and it is going to be beautiful, okay.
245
00:11:21,908 --> 00:11:23,701
Tough love time, Annie.
Your boyfriend's a total bro-bag.
246
00:11:23,785 --> 00:11:25,703
- Yeah.
- Jason is not a bro-bag.
247
00:11:25,787 --> 00:11:28,540
I didn't wanna say it,
but he is the basic of all bros.
248
00:11:28,623 --> 00:11:29,624
- I'm sorry.
- Guys!
249
00:11:29,707 --> 00:11:32,293
We're supposed to be having fun
and fuckin' celebrating our youth!
250
00:11:32,377 --> 00:11:34,671
- Senior year, bitches!
- (WHOOPING)
251
00:11:34,754 --> 00:11:35,755
(ENGINE REVS)
252
00:11:35,839 --> 00:11:36,923
(WHOOPING)
253
00:11:37,507 --> 00:11:39,634
BOY: Back to school party!
254
00:11:47,725 --> 00:11:49,310
(CHEERING AND SCREAMING)
255
00:11:49,936 --> 00:11:51,187
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
256
00:11:52,272 --> 00:11:54,649
Students of East Great Falls!
257
00:11:54,732 --> 00:11:57,485
Welcome to the annual
Back To School Party!
258
00:11:57,569 --> 00:11:58,570
(ALL CHEERING)
259
00:12:01,573 --> 00:12:05,618
And on Monday we go back to the bullshit
banality of high school life.
260
00:12:05,702 --> 00:12:07,370
But today, the sun is out!
261
00:12:07,453 --> 00:12:09,247
The booze is flowing!
262
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:13,126
And we're teenagers
prone to bad decisions!
263
00:12:13,668 --> 00:12:15,670
Yeah!
264
00:12:21,551 --> 00:12:22,552
(WHOOPING)
265
00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:26,181
(BARKING)
266
00:12:27,098 --> 00:12:28,933
Ah! Drink it down!
267
00:12:32,187 --> 00:12:33,438
East Great Falls!
268
00:12:36,816 --> 00:12:38,651
- Hey, girl.
- (GIRL WHOOPS)
269
00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:42,197
McCORMICK: What's good, Stifler?
270
00:12:43,823 --> 00:12:44,908
Brett McCormick.
271
00:12:44,991 --> 00:12:46,868
At a party and still conscious.
Good for you.
272
00:12:46,951 --> 00:12:48,244
You know, Stifler, I hear things.
273
00:12:48,328 --> 00:12:50,997
You've got the reputation
of being the bang of the century.
274
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,999
- Feels like I'm missing out.
- (SCOFFING CHUCKLE)
275
00:12:53,082 --> 00:12:54,876
You know, that's a real
panty-dropper, McCormick.
276
00:12:54,959 --> 00:12:56,252
I'll tell you what.
277
00:12:56,336 --> 00:12:58,421
Not today. Not tomorrow.
278
00:12:58,505 --> 00:12:59,714
Not if you were the last man on Earth.
279
00:12:59,797 --> 00:13:02,050
Not if I even loved
the reek of Axe body spray.
280
00:13:02,133 --> 00:13:04,385
Not if I didn't already know
you have a itty-bitty little dick.
281
00:13:04,469 --> 00:13:06,054
- That's not... (CHUCKLES)
- No, see, I hear things, too.
282
00:13:06,137 --> 00:13:08,806
So don't try to be clever.
That would just be really bad for you.
283
00:13:08,890 --> 00:13:11,476
Just don't throw up anywhere
or do any nonconsensual groping.
284
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:12,852
That's your job for today.
285
00:13:13,394 --> 00:13:14,395
I believe in you.
286
00:13:14,479 --> 00:13:15,480
(ANNIE LAUGHING)
287
00:13:17,649 --> 00:13:19,275
TIM: They're my feelings.
288
00:13:19,359 --> 00:13:21,486
KAYLA: You're being ridiculous! Okay?
289
00:13:22,445 --> 00:13:23,655
TIM: You hacked my phone.
290
00:13:23,738 --> 00:13:26,783
Okay, so I hacked my boyfriend's phone.
291
00:13:26,866 --> 00:13:28,701
Everybody does it, by the way.
292
00:13:28,785 --> 00:13:30,662
- Am I right, ladies? Yes, okay?
- (SCATTERED RESPONSES)
293
00:13:30,745 --> 00:13:33,039
And I see some thirsty bitch
hitting on you.
294
00:13:33,456 --> 00:13:36,417
For the last time,
that thirsty bitch is my cousin.
295
00:13:36,501 --> 00:13:38,419
Are you telling me
people don't fuck their cousins?
296
00:13:38,503 --> 00:13:41,464
Because it happens.
Their kids have tails.
297
00:13:41,548 --> 00:13:44,008
And she asked if
you've been working out?
298
00:13:44,092 --> 00:13:46,094
Because she's my physical therapist.
299
00:13:46,177 --> 00:13:47,929
She helped me
when I blew out my knee last year.
300
00:13:48,012 --> 00:13:49,848
Wait. I vaguely remember this.
301
00:13:49,931 --> 00:13:53,351
Yeah, and you texted her
and you told her I have an STD!
302
00:13:53,434 --> 00:13:55,270
KAYLA: Yeah, I wanted her
to stay away from you.
303
00:13:55,353 --> 00:13:58,773
Yeah, well, she called my mom
and now my mom thinks I have syphilis.
304
00:13:58,857 --> 00:14:00,900
(CHUCKLES) Well, she's gonna
be so relieved
305
00:14:00,984 --> 00:14:03,278
when she finds out you don't. Okay?
306
00:14:03,361 --> 00:14:05,530
You know, that can lead to
madness if not treated.
307
00:14:05,613 --> 00:14:06,614
Kayla!
308
00:14:06,698 --> 00:14:07,782
(VOICE BREAKING)
I'm breaking up with you.
309
00:14:08,491 --> 00:14:10,952
Tim. I love you.
310
00:14:15,123 --> 00:14:16,457
Is this a joke?
311
00:14:16,541 --> 00:14:18,668
We're in love, stupid!
312
00:14:18,751 --> 00:14:21,462
Hey, sweetie. You... You okay?
313
00:14:21,546 --> 00:14:22,672
Oh, that?
314
00:14:22,755 --> 00:14:25,675
Yeah. We just break up
so that we can make up.
315
00:14:25,758 --> 00:14:27,218
Yeah, it's just a little speed bump.
316
00:14:27,302 --> 00:14:29,095
Oh! You guys wanna go get fucked up?
317
00:14:29,179 --> 00:14:30,263
Let's go.
318
00:14:30,346 --> 00:14:32,765
- Oh.
- Okay. Whatever you want.
319
00:14:32,849 --> 00:14:34,350
That's concerning.
320
00:14:34,434 --> 00:14:35,518
KAYLA: Tequila!
321
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:38,688
(FACETIME TONE)
322
00:14:39,397 --> 00:14:41,191
- Hey, hey!
- Hey!
323
00:14:41,274 --> 00:14:42,775
Annie, what's... What's up?
324
00:14:42,859 --> 00:14:46,738
I'm at this stupid party
and I was just missing you.
325
00:14:46,821 --> 00:14:48,865
- Oh, okay.
- (PARTY MUSIC PLAYING)
326
00:14:49,115 --> 00:14:50,158
That's good.
327
00:14:50,241 --> 00:14:51,826
That's real good.
328
00:14:52,202 --> 00:14:54,621
In my mouth next time. Okay.
329
00:14:56,039 --> 00:14:57,040
Whoa! (BURPS)
330
00:14:57,123 --> 00:14:59,209
I gotta go. I'll talk to you later.
331
00:14:59,292 --> 00:15:01,044
- Oh, okay. Well, I love...
- (BURPS)
332
00:15:02,504 --> 00:15:03,505
You.
333
00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:04,839
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
334
00:15:04,923 --> 00:15:06,299
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm there.
335
00:15:10,303 --> 00:15:12,138
Oh, you might wanna... Okay.
336
00:15:14,182 --> 00:15:15,391
How we doin'?
337
00:15:15,475 --> 00:15:18,895
My sex-starved boyfriend
is surrounded by a bunch of college thots,
338
00:15:18,978 --> 00:15:21,898
and I'm the only 17-year-old
virgin in history!
339
00:15:21,981 --> 00:15:23,149
KAYLA: You are the lucky one.
340
00:15:23,233 --> 00:15:26,027
Ignorance is bliss,
my virginal friend.
341
00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:28,404
It could be days before
Tim and I are back together.
342
00:15:28,488 --> 00:15:30,740
None of us need a man
to have a healthy sex life.
343
00:15:30,824 --> 00:15:35,578
I am learning that technology has given us
incredible innovations in self-pleasure.
344
00:15:35,662 --> 00:15:38,289
And, like, whatever you're into.
External, internal,
345
00:15:38,373 --> 00:15:42,752
dildos, rabbits, wands, vibrators,
remote-controlled butt plugs, anal beads,
346
00:15:42,836 --> 00:15:44,420
- Ben Wa balls...
- Ben Wa balls?
347
00:15:44,504 --> 00:15:48,925
Oh, yeah. I have two in right now.
It is a very specific sensation.
348
00:15:49,008 --> 00:15:50,885
- (BALLS CLACKING)
- Ooh! Yeah.
349
00:15:51,427 --> 00:15:52,762
(LAUGHING)
350
00:15:53,388 --> 00:15:54,430
They're amazing.
351
00:15:54,514 --> 00:15:57,016
The knowledge that you have
something in your vagina
352
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:58,309
is very unsettling to me.
353
00:15:58,393 --> 00:15:59,602
That is my whole point.
354
00:15:59,686 --> 00:16:02,063
I would argue that you could use
some unsettling experimentation, Annie.
355
00:16:02,814 --> 00:16:04,357
Do you have a toy?
356
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:05,525
We don't...
357
00:16:05,817 --> 00:16:06,985
I don't do that.
358
00:16:07,068 --> 00:16:09,404
Why does she hate you?
359
00:16:09,696 --> 00:16:12,490
MICHELLE: Guys, we're all lacking
something in the romance area.
360
00:16:12,574 --> 00:16:15,869
But I feel like, we gotta figure
this shit out. Like, it's our senior year.
361
00:16:16,411 --> 00:16:17,495
What do you mean?
362
00:16:17,912 --> 00:16:20,415
- Goal-setting.
- Okay, but what goals?
363
00:16:20,498 --> 00:16:23,960
Oh. For you, you need a guy
who appreciates your sense of humor
364
00:16:24,043 --> 00:16:25,545
and doesn't take things so personally.
365
00:16:25,628 --> 00:16:28,965
Maybe someone who's less emotional.
366
00:16:29,048 --> 00:16:30,383
Yeah, like, someone, like, way less woke.
367
00:16:30,466 --> 00:16:31,759
Not a guy who wants
to make sweet love.
368
00:16:31,843 --> 00:16:33,303
You need a guy who wants
to fuck, you know?
369
00:16:33,845 --> 00:16:35,013
Oh, my God!
370
00:16:35,096 --> 00:16:37,515
- I do need someone who wants to fuck!
- STEPHANIE: There you go.
371
00:16:37,599 --> 00:16:39,184
MICHELLE: Okay, my turn, my turn. Do me.
372
00:16:39,267 --> 00:16:41,644
Oh. Yeah, that's pretty simple.
You need someone smart.
373
00:16:41,728 --> 00:16:43,146
Yeah, you need someone
who understands you,
374
00:16:43,229 --> 00:16:46,357
who would like social consciousness,
but also like integrity.
375
00:16:46,441 --> 00:16:47,859
Mmm. Yeah, like, someone a little kinky.
376
00:16:47,942 --> 00:16:50,320
I like it. Okay. What about Steph?
377
00:16:50,904 --> 00:16:53,448
Me? Oh, I am so good.
378
00:16:53,531 --> 00:16:56,618
Oh, sweetie, sorry,
but you need some serious work.
379
00:16:56,701 --> 00:16:58,286
What? Excuse me?
380
00:16:58,369 --> 00:17:00,788
- What exactly do I need?
- Annie, take it.
381
00:17:00,872 --> 00:17:02,582
- A nice guy.
- KAYLA: Mmm.
382
00:17:02,665 --> 00:17:07,003
Someone who wants to be around you
and buys thoughtful presents
383
00:17:07,086 --> 00:17:08,838
and asks about your day.
384
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:14,718
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
385
00:17:15,594 --> 00:17:17,554
Okay. What about Annie?
386
00:17:18,097 --> 00:17:20,183
Um, to have sex with the man I love.
387
00:17:20,265 --> 00:17:22,310
Guys, these goals are totally attainable.
388
00:17:22,392 --> 00:17:24,062
- But we need a deadline.
- Homecoming.
389
00:17:24,145 --> 00:17:25,897
About a month away,
and it has the perfect theme.
390
00:17:25,980 --> 00:17:27,023
STEPHANIE: Theme?
391
00:17:27,106 --> 00:17:29,234
Your lack of school spirit
is truly disheartening.
392
00:17:29,317 --> 00:17:31,152
Ladies, come on. It's a MORP dance.
393
00:17:31,236 --> 00:17:32,278
"Prom" spelled backwards.
394
00:17:32,362 --> 00:17:34,906
We switch all the conventions,
and most importantly,
395
00:17:34,989 --> 00:17:36,074
- girls ask guys.
- STEPHANIE: Okay.
396
00:17:36,157 --> 00:17:39,786
Rule one, set a goal
to fix our romantic lives.
397
00:17:39,869 --> 00:17:42,205
Rule number two,
we support our fellow women.
398
00:17:42,288 --> 00:17:45,291
Three, we are all
accountability partners.
399
00:17:45,375 --> 00:17:47,210
And we won't let each other
get away with our usual shit.
400
00:17:47,293 --> 00:17:48,294
- STEPHANIE: Okay.
- Yes. Yes.
401
00:17:48,378 --> 00:17:51,089
- And rule four, deadline is homecoming.
- Mmm.
402
00:17:51,172 --> 00:17:52,382
- The MORP dance.
- Mmm-hmm.
403
00:17:52,465 --> 00:17:54,717
Wait, but I don't like that it's rules.
404
00:17:54,801 --> 00:17:55,969
Makes it sound like a competition.
405
00:17:56,052 --> 00:17:57,345
Well, everything is a competition.
406
00:17:57,971 --> 00:17:59,681
It's not, though. It's a pact, so...
407
00:17:59,764 --> 00:18:01,015
- (LAUGHTER)
- KAYLA: Ooh, a pact. Okay.
408
00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:04,394
Well, ladies, please raise your glasses
to The Girls' Rules.
409
00:18:04,477 --> 00:18:06,062
KAYLA: Yes!
MICHELLE: Cheers.
410
00:18:06,604 --> 00:18:08,148
{\an8}KAYLA: We have a pact!
411
00:18:08,231 --> 00:18:09,357
{\an8}(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
412
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:10,775
Call it classic
Reach out and grab it
413
00:18:10,859 --> 00:18:12,819
Super massive
Pulls like a magnet
414
00:18:14,988 --> 00:18:18,575
{\an8}Jumping straight out the box
You got me like whoa
415
00:18:20,118 --> 00:18:23,037
Well, hello
Got, got, got me like whoa
416
00:18:23,955 --> 00:18:27,333
Well, hello
Got, got, got me like whoa
417
00:18:27,834 --> 00:18:28,835
Well, hello
418
00:18:33,381 --> 00:18:34,757
Okay, we start today.
419
00:18:34,841 --> 00:18:36,801
We're getting what we want,
and if anybody doesn't like it,
420
00:18:36,885 --> 00:18:38,178
they can eat a bag of dicks.
421
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:42,223
Kind of feel like we're Charlie's Angels,
but not the Drew Barrymore one.
422
00:18:42,307 --> 00:18:44,225
The older one where no one wore bras.
423
00:18:44,309 --> 00:18:45,310
Nice.
424
00:18:45,393 --> 00:18:46,936
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
425
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,355
I'm attracted
I gotta have it
426
00:18:49,439 --> 00:18:51,649
Super massive
Pulls like a magnet
427
00:18:52,734 --> 00:18:55,528
Not to ruin this badass moment
of female empowerment,
428
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:59,365
but look at our choices.
429
00:19:00,492 --> 00:19:02,911
KAYLA: You're right.
We've known these rats since elementary.
430
00:19:02,994 --> 00:19:04,704
You really think
we go to school with the perfect guy
431
00:19:04,787 --> 00:19:05,788
and just haven't noticed?
432
00:19:05,872 --> 00:19:06,998
STEPHANIE: Oh, I think exactly that.
433
00:19:07,081 --> 00:19:08,833
Look, there's over 500 guys
at East Great Falls.
434
00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:11,794
The guy you might be looking for
might be right under your oyster.
435
00:19:11,878 --> 00:19:12,962
Or at Michigan State.
436
00:19:13,046 --> 00:19:15,048
Okay, ironically,
I think that Annie out of all of us
437
00:19:15,131 --> 00:19:16,758
will probably benefit
the most from our pact.
438
00:19:16,841 --> 00:19:18,259
- Yeah?
- Especially the part
439
00:19:18,343 --> 00:19:20,094
- where we call on her bullshit.
- What bullshit?
440
00:19:20,178 --> 00:19:22,680
Okay. You wanna lose it
to Jason the D-bag?
441
00:19:22,764 --> 00:19:23,848
Here's an idea.
442
00:19:23,932 --> 00:19:26,142
Get your ass down to Michigan State
and fuck his little brains out.
443
00:19:26,684 --> 00:19:28,436
Seems simple, yet here you are.
444
00:19:30,688 --> 00:19:31,689
That was harsh.
445
00:19:31,773 --> 00:19:33,942
STEPHANIE: Yeah, rule three,
accountability partner!
446
00:19:34,025 --> 00:19:35,193
Jason's busy.
447
00:19:35,276 --> 00:19:36,569
I'm trying to plan a trip there,
448
00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:39,322
but with his school schedule,
we barely even get time to talk.
449
00:19:39,405 --> 00:19:40,824
- Yeah.
- So sad.
450
00:19:41,825 --> 00:19:43,076
- (SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
- Oh.
451
00:19:43,159 --> 00:19:44,244
Adiós, mofos.
452
00:19:46,579 --> 00:19:48,665
MICHELLE: In the meantime,
I suggest we start training.
453
00:19:48,748 --> 00:19:51,459
In order to enjoy sex,
you need to know what you like, right?
454
00:19:51,543 --> 00:19:53,044
What're you thinking?
455
00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:55,588
I'm thinking that
we do a shopping trip.
456
00:19:55,797 --> 00:19:56,798
(SQUEALS)
457
00:19:57,048 --> 00:19:58,216
Oh, gotta go. Gonna be late.
458
00:20:01,094 --> 00:20:02,095
MICHELLE: Whoa.
459
00:20:03,012 --> 00:20:04,597
Shit. Shit. Shit.
460
00:20:05,306 --> 00:20:06,307
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
461
00:20:06,391 --> 00:20:12,605
You can ring my bell
Ring my bell...
462
00:20:13,565 --> 00:20:15,233
(GRUNTING)
463
00:20:21,072 --> 00:20:22,073
(GROANS)
464
00:20:23,575 --> 00:20:24,951
- (SCOFFS)
- Oh.
465
00:20:26,286 --> 00:20:27,453
- Oh, my God.
- MICHELLE: Hey.
466
00:20:27,537 --> 00:20:30,623
- Are you okay? That looked really painful.
- (CHUCKLES)
467
00:20:30,748 --> 00:20:33,585
Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
No, I'm great. I, um... I just...
468
00:20:33,668 --> 00:20:35,587
I was late for class.
It's a little schedule blunder.
469
00:20:35,670 --> 00:20:37,297
It's a pre-calc.
It should've said calc calc. (LAUGHS)
470
00:20:37,380 --> 00:20:38,464
Hence, the running.
471
00:20:38,548 --> 00:20:41,426
But you look lost,
and as Student Council Vice President,
472
00:20:41,509 --> 00:20:42,844
it's actually my obligation to help you.
473
00:20:42,927 --> 00:20:44,637
Hi. I'm Michelle.
474
00:20:45,805 --> 00:20:48,308
And I'm trying really hard
to hide my growing anxiety
475
00:20:48,391 --> 00:20:50,435
about being late for class.
(CHUCKLES)
476
00:20:50,518 --> 00:20:52,312
I'm Grant. Just moved here.
477
00:20:52,395 --> 00:20:53,938
Totally lost.
478
00:20:54,022 --> 00:20:56,274
And amused at your growing anxiety.
479
00:20:56,357 --> 00:20:57,400
But you're in luck.
480
00:20:57,484 --> 00:20:58,943
I am also on the way to calculus.
481
00:20:59,027 --> 00:21:01,613
I'd be more than happy
to report how you selflessly helped me,
482
00:21:01,696 --> 00:21:02,989
even though it made you late.
483
00:21:03,072 --> 00:21:05,909
And I'll be sure to leave out
the part about you, you know,
484
00:21:05,992 --> 00:21:07,160
face-slamming a door.
485
00:21:07,494 --> 00:21:08,495
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
486
00:21:12,999 --> 00:21:14,125
Is that a Ben Wa ball?
487
00:21:14,792 --> 00:21:16,085
Yeah.
488
00:21:18,922 --> 00:21:20,965
- Three second rule.
- Okay.
489
00:21:21,049 --> 00:21:22,842
- Should we go?
- Yeah.
490
00:21:25,261 --> 00:21:28,431
KAYLA: A sweet treat for my sweet treat.
491
00:21:28,890 --> 00:21:31,309
What're you doing?
We broke up. Remember?
492
00:21:31,392 --> 00:21:33,311
We had a little squabble.
493
00:21:33,394 --> 00:21:35,104
Pumpkin spice or mocha?
494
00:21:35,188 --> 00:21:36,898
This is real. It's over.
495
00:21:36,981 --> 00:21:39,067
You're just not my lobster.
496
00:21:46,241 --> 00:21:47,242
(SIGHS)
497
00:21:52,205 --> 00:21:53,456
Mind if I join you?
498
00:21:56,251 --> 00:22:00,338
Look. I know this is not
in any way my business,
499
00:22:00,421 --> 00:22:02,465
but I couldn't help but overhear.
500
00:22:02,549 --> 00:22:04,008
Oh, God.
501
00:22:04,092 --> 00:22:05,885
Yeah, it's pretty uncomfy.
502
00:22:05,969 --> 00:22:09,639
But I figured it might be a less pathetic
moment if you weren't sitting alone
503
00:22:09,722 --> 00:22:12,725
while your ex is still watching.
504
00:22:13,393 --> 00:22:15,061
You really wanna drive him nuts?
505
00:22:15,145 --> 00:22:17,021
Pass me that delicious pumpkin spice.
506
00:22:19,524 --> 00:22:21,442
- Who are you?
- I'm Grant.
507
00:22:21,526 --> 00:22:22,944
I'm cheering you up.
508
00:22:23,027 --> 00:22:26,156
- You're trying to steal my coffee.
- That's just an added bonus.
509
00:22:30,702 --> 00:22:33,454
- I'm Kayla.
- Nice to meet you, Kayla.
510
00:22:33,538 --> 00:22:34,539
Mmm.
511
00:22:35,748 --> 00:22:36,749
(GRANT CLEARS THROAT)
512
00:22:37,458 --> 00:22:38,626
Why'd you give me the mocha one?
513
00:22:38,710 --> 00:22:40,378
You think I'm just gonna
give you pumpkin spice?
514
00:22:40,461 --> 00:22:42,422
This shit is seasonal
and I don't even know you.
515
00:22:43,089 --> 00:22:44,090
Touché.
516
00:22:44,674 --> 00:22:46,301
(UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING)
517
00:22:46,509 --> 00:22:47,760
Yeah
518
00:22:47,844 --> 00:22:49,345
(ALL SHOUTING)
519
00:22:54,767 --> 00:22:57,812
Let everyone know
That the girls run the show
520
00:22:59,063 --> 00:23:01,608
Who wants some? Yeah!
521
00:23:01,691 --> 00:23:05,236
The lights are down low
Raise the curtain and go
522
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,572
It's our big night
Hey
523
00:23:07,655 --> 00:23:09,532
Our big night
Ho
524
00:23:09,616 --> 00:23:11,409
Who the fuck is that?
525
00:23:11,493 --> 00:23:12,660
MEREDITH: Who's the fresh meat?
526
00:23:12,744 --> 00:23:13,912
Yeah, look at that snack.
527
00:23:13,995 --> 00:23:15,163
Nice dick!
528
00:23:15,246 --> 00:23:16,789
STEPHANIE: You spooked him. Ball!
529
00:23:17,457 --> 00:23:19,417
- No way. He's too far.
- STEPHANIE: 20 bucks.
530
00:23:19,501 --> 00:23:20,960
- I want some of that.
- You're on.
531
00:23:21,044 --> 00:23:22,295
Go on, give me some space.
532
00:23:28,009 --> 00:23:29,093
Wait for it.
533
00:23:30,261 --> 00:23:31,262
(GRUNTS)
534
00:23:32,013 --> 00:23:33,223
- Fuck, yeah!
- Oh shit!
535
00:23:33,306 --> 00:23:34,766
- I can't believe she actually made that.
- He might be dead.
536
00:23:34,849 --> 00:23:38,478
- You killed the snack!
- Venmo me, motherfuckers!
537
00:23:38,561 --> 00:23:42,023
Girls run this
Girls run this show
538
00:23:44,234 --> 00:23:47,821
Oh, my God, I... I am so sorry.
539
00:23:49,405 --> 00:23:50,657
Are you okay?
540
00:23:51,699 --> 00:23:53,952
Oh, I think so.
541
00:23:54,035 --> 00:23:55,078
Whoa.
542
00:23:55,161 --> 00:23:58,832
- You good?
- Yeah, I think so.
543
00:23:58,915 --> 00:24:01,835
Um, I'm Stephanie. Stephanie Stifler.
544
00:24:01,918 --> 00:24:03,086
I'm Grant.
545
00:24:03,169 --> 00:24:05,672
Uh, your hands are so soft.
546
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,300
- (CHUCKLES) Thank you.
- You're welcome.
547
00:24:09,384 --> 00:24:11,594
I'm looking for
the boys' lacrosse practice.
548
00:24:11,970 --> 00:24:12,971
Oh.
549
00:24:13,054 --> 00:24:15,390
The boys' practice is on the east field.
550
00:24:15,473 --> 00:24:18,184
- Yeah, I'll walk you.
- Uh, it's... It's okay.
551
00:24:20,854 --> 00:24:23,273
- Nice goal, by the way.
- It was good, right?
552
00:24:26,609 --> 00:24:27,944
You will be mine.
553
00:24:33,992 --> 00:24:35,577
MICHELLE: Come on.
554
00:24:36,077 --> 00:24:37,370
Oh, my God.
555
00:24:37,453 --> 00:24:39,539
I am very uncomfortable right now.
556
00:24:39,622 --> 00:24:42,750
Okay. Annie, let's just
take a deep breath and calm down
557
00:24:42,834 --> 00:24:44,460
and realize that this is just a store.
558
00:24:44,544 --> 00:24:47,422
There's nothing weird or wrong
or dirty about this place.
559
00:24:47,505 --> 00:24:49,132
- You come here a lot?
- Michelle.
560
00:24:49,215 --> 00:24:50,258
- Hey, Rose.
- I guess so.
561
00:24:50,341 --> 00:24:52,510
The new VJ-VAX just came out.
562
00:24:52,594 --> 00:24:55,388
Girl, it's great for your nipples,
your tongue,
563
00:24:55,471 --> 00:24:57,390
your clitoris, any sphincter...
564
00:24:57,473 --> 00:24:59,726
She's naming so many
different body part words.
565
00:24:59,809 --> 00:25:01,227
Poor thing. You're still allowing yourself
566
00:25:01,311 --> 00:25:03,438
- to be clit-blocked by the patriarchy.
- Mmm-hmm.
567
00:25:03,521 --> 00:25:06,065
I'm so sorry.
Did I hear you say the VJ-VAX came in?
568
00:25:06,149 --> 00:25:07,233
I've just heard amazing things.
569
00:25:07,317 --> 00:25:08,401
They're all true.
570
00:25:08,485 --> 00:25:09,861
Oh, can I get a demonstration?
571
00:25:11,571 --> 00:25:13,406
- Okay. Come on.
- Oh, no.
572
00:25:16,910 --> 00:25:17,911
ANNIE: Oh, dear God.
573
00:25:17,994 --> 00:25:19,746
MICHELLE: Welcome to
your sexual awakening.
574
00:25:19,829 --> 00:25:22,165
{\an8}Somewhere on this wall
lies the access point to your orgasm.
575
00:25:22,248 --> 00:25:24,834
But, to pick the right toy,
I do need a little bit of information.
576
00:25:24,918 --> 00:25:26,419
Are you an innie or an outie?
577
00:25:26,503 --> 00:25:27,545
Am I what?
578
00:25:28,630 --> 00:25:29,672
Okay.
579
00:25:29,756 --> 00:25:32,884
Why don't we use
this rubber vagina as a visual aid?
580
00:25:32,967 --> 00:25:35,386
- That's a return, but we cleaned it.
- Thanks, Rose.
581
00:25:35,470 --> 00:25:36,804
Okay, do you like this,
582
00:25:36,888 --> 00:25:38,473
- or do you like this?
- A.
583
00:25:38,556 --> 00:25:40,767
I'll... I'll... I'll just pick Option A.
584
00:25:40,850 --> 00:25:42,227
Well, that makes a lot of sense.
585
00:25:42,310 --> 00:25:44,270
Most women orgasm
through clitoral stimulation.
586
00:25:44,354 --> 00:25:45,814
- Okay.
- ELLEN: Actually, did you know that
587
00:25:45,897 --> 00:25:49,734
75% of women never orgasm
through intercourse alone? It's a fact.
588
00:25:49,818 --> 00:25:51,194
I'm sorry, ladies, could you just...
589
00:25:51,277 --> 00:25:52,403
You're blocking the good stuff.
590
00:25:52,487 --> 00:25:53,988
- Oh, sorry.
- Ooh!
591
00:25:54,489 --> 00:25:56,449
How about this guy?
592
00:25:56,533 --> 00:25:58,910
- (MICHELLE CHUCKLING)
- Hello. How are you?
593
00:25:59,619 --> 00:26:01,329
Aw, sweet baby bird.
594
00:26:01,412 --> 00:26:03,164
Let me guess. Is this your first toy?
595
00:26:03,248 --> 00:26:04,999
MICHELLE: Yes, it is her first toy.
596
00:26:05,083 --> 00:26:07,710
That is such a special day
in a woman's life.
597
00:26:08,044 --> 00:26:09,671
Oh, sweetheart.
598
00:26:09,754 --> 00:26:12,006
I remember my first
like it was yesterday.
599
00:26:12,090 --> 00:26:13,633
The Muscle Massager 5000.
600
00:26:14,217 --> 00:26:15,677
{\an8}Still a bestseller.
601
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,929
Mmm, that thing was squirt-tastic.
602
00:26:18,972 --> 00:26:22,851
{\an8}But nothing compares
to this gem right here.
603
00:26:23,893 --> 00:26:26,354
Three vibrating stimulators,
604
00:26:26,771 --> 00:26:29,607
curved tip to help you
find that elusive G-spot.
605
00:26:29,691 --> 00:26:31,484
Spoiler alert, it's in the front.
606
00:26:31,568 --> 00:26:33,570
There's a rabbit
for your itty-bitty clitty.
607
00:26:33,653 --> 00:26:35,989
And if you pee a little bit,
don't worry, it's waterproof.
608
00:26:36,072 --> 00:26:39,117
I mean, it is a beautiful time
to be alive, ladies. Am I right?
609
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,326
- Yeah.
- Right.
610
00:26:40,410 --> 00:26:42,871
Wait. Call off the dogs.
The search is off.
611
00:26:42,954 --> 00:26:44,205
I found it.
612
00:26:44,747 --> 00:26:47,125
These black lacy panties are perfect.
613
00:26:47,208 --> 00:26:49,210
They're discreet. They're non-invasive.
614
00:26:49,294 --> 00:26:50,795
I agree. Those are perfect.
615
00:26:50,879 --> 00:26:54,215
And I'm so excited for the journey
that you're about to embark on.
616
00:26:54,632 --> 00:26:57,552
Godspeed, little bird. Godspeed.
617
00:27:00,555 --> 00:27:01,556
Wow.
618
00:27:01,639 --> 00:27:03,141
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
619
00:27:03,224 --> 00:27:05,351
- What? Relax.
- Relax?
620
00:27:05,435 --> 00:27:08,104
That super-weird
but strangely helpful woman
621
00:27:08,188 --> 00:27:10,315
just picked out
a vibrating undergarment for me.
622
00:27:10,398 --> 00:27:11,983
She's not weird. She's a goddess.
623
00:27:12,066 --> 00:27:14,611
And who cares?
You're never gonna see her again.
624
00:27:14,694 --> 00:27:15,945
Let's go.
625
00:27:18,406 --> 00:27:19,407
Oh.
626
00:27:19,491 --> 00:27:21,493
- Hey, honey.
- Hey, Dad.
627
00:27:21,576 --> 00:27:24,162
- Big test. Gotta study.
- You have a test already?
628
00:27:26,706 --> 00:27:27,707
Wow.
629
00:27:27,832 --> 00:27:30,668
Must be some kind of
accelerated school.
630
00:27:34,672 --> 00:27:35,673
(SIGHS)
631
00:27:52,398 --> 00:27:53,608
(CLICKS)
632
00:27:53,691 --> 00:27:54,901
(VIBRATING)
633
00:27:57,779 --> 00:28:00,698
Oh, my God.
634
00:28:01,991 --> 00:28:03,201
(DOORBELL RINGS)
635
00:28:05,245 --> 00:28:06,246
Hi.
636
00:28:06,329 --> 00:28:09,415
Uh, I just moved in next door
and I wanted to introduce myself.
637
00:28:09,499 --> 00:28:13,503
I'm Ellen and...
Oh, come here, hon. This is my son, Grant.
638
00:28:14,045 --> 00:28:15,171
I made you a pie.
639
00:28:17,048 --> 00:28:18,883
- Come in.
- Thank you. (CHUCKLES)
640
00:28:18,967 --> 00:28:21,886
JASON: Babe, I... I got...
I gotta get to class.
641
00:28:22,345 --> 00:28:25,098
You don't have time to knock one out?
642
00:28:25,181 --> 00:28:27,809
Are you... Are you saying
you wanna have cybersex?
643
00:28:27,892 --> 00:28:30,019
Because, uh, yeah, that would...
644
00:28:30,103 --> 00:28:31,896
That would... That would be dope.
645
00:28:31,980 --> 00:28:35,150
I bought something for us.
646
00:28:35,650 --> 00:28:38,778
So I just thought I'd make this
for you and your... Your wife.
647
00:28:38,862 --> 00:28:40,405
No wife, sadly. Divorced.
648
00:28:40,488 --> 00:28:42,991
- It's just me and my daughter.
- What a coincidence.
649
00:28:43,491 --> 00:28:45,285
- Me, too.
- Oh.
650
00:28:45,493 --> 00:28:47,704
What do ya say
we dig into this delicious pie?
651
00:28:47,787 --> 00:28:48,788
Apple?
652
00:28:49,038 --> 00:28:50,039
Cherry.
653
00:28:50,123 --> 00:28:51,124
KEVIN: Mmm.
654
00:28:51,291 --> 00:28:52,542
ELLEN: Still hot.
655
00:28:53,626 --> 00:28:55,879
Oh, come on. Oh, you gotta...
You gotta show me.
656
00:28:55,962 --> 00:28:57,505
You gotta show me. Please?
657
00:28:57,589 --> 00:28:58,923
- Please.
- (SIGHS)
658
00:28:59,007 --> 00:29:00,341
Okay. Just a peek.
659
00:29:01,885 --> 00:29:03,344
Oh, damn it!
660
00:29:03,428 --> 00:29:06,181
- Ugh! Uh, my Wi-Fi sucks.
- (CHUCKLES)
661
00:29:06,264 --> 00:29:10,477
Okay, all you need to know is
that they're tiny and lacy,
662
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,271
and they have a remote control.
663
00:29:14,397 --> 00:29:16,691
You control your panties with that?
664
00:29:16,774 --> 00:29:20,778
Oh, nice. Oh, you got...
Turn it on. Mmm-hmm.
665
00:29:21,821 --> 00:29:22,822
(VIBRATING)
666
00:29:23,281 --> 00:29:24,282
(MOANS)
667
00:29:25,950 --> 00:29:27,660
- Oh, wow.
- (MUFFLED) Oh.
668
00:29:27,869 --> 00:29:29,162
It's so good.
669
00:29:29,245 --> 00:29:30,955
That is so good.
670
00:29:31,039 --> 00:29:33,041
- (ANNIE MOANING)
- Mmm.
671
00:29:33,124 --> 00:29:34,584
I'm so glad that you like it.
672
00:29:35,084 --> 00:29:38,421
Oh, I like it. I like it a lot.
673
00:29:39,756 --> 00:29:41,007
Oh, shit.
674
00:29:41,090 --> 00:29:43,343
Oh, I've never heard you cuss before.
675
00:29:43,968 --> 00:29:45,887
I like it. Can you...
Can you cuss again?
676
00:29:45,970 --> 00:29:48,306
ANNIE: Holy fuck.
677
00:29:48,556 --> 00:29:49,766
(ELLEN CHUCKLES)
678
00:29:51,434 --> 00:29:52,519
(ANNIE MOANING)
679
00:29:53,686 --> 00:29:54,729
ELLEN: Mmm.
680
00:29:54,813 --> 00:29:55,814
Hmm.
681
00:29:55,897 --> 00:30:00,276
So, Kevin,
how long have you been divorced?
682
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:01,444
Long time.
683
00:30:03,988 --> 00:30:06,825
Such a long time.
684
00:30:06,908 --> 00:30:10,286
Okay. You know, this has been great,
but I have a big test tomorrow.
685
00:30:10,370 --> 00:30:11,788
- I gotta go study for it, so...
- Oh.
686
00:30:11,871 --> 00:30:14,958
I bet Annie's studying
for the same test.
687
00:30:15,041 --> 00:30:16,876
- (ANNIE MOANS)
- JASON: Whoo.
688
00:30:17,544 --> 00:30:19,504
Okay. Whoa.
(CHUCKLES)
689
00:30:19,587 --> 00:30:21,673
- Oh, shit.
- Fantastic.
690
00:30:21,798 --> 00:30:23,383
- (MOANING)
- KEVIN: You go to East Great Falls?
691
00:30:23,466 --> 00:30:26,177
Actually we both do.
I'm the new principal.
692
00:30:26,594 --> 00:30:27,595
Huh.
693
00:30:27,679 --> 00:30:28,680
No way.
694
00:30:28,763 --> 00:30:29,764
You know what?
695
00:30:30,306 --> 00:30:33,143
Annie loves a surprise.
We should go up and say hi to her.
696
00:30:33,226 --> 00:30:34,811
Holy fuck.
697
00:30:34,894 --> 00:30:35,895
Whoo!
698
00:30:36,062 --> 00:30:37,063
Oh, shit.
699
00:30:37,647 --> 00:30:38,815
Oh, I'm gonna pop.
700
00:30:38,898 --> 00:30:40,316
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hey, honey, you busy?
701
00:30:41,359 --> 00:30:43,027
- No! Hey!
- (JASON MOANS LOUDLY)
702
00:30:43,111 --> 00:30:45,196
- Just... Just chillin'.
- KEVIN: Well, great.
703
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,074
Because I want to
introduce you to your new principal.
704
00:30:48,158 --> 00:30:49,450
This is Miss Fisher.
705
00:30:50,994 --> 00:30:52,745
- Huh.
- Hi.
706
00:30:52,829 --> 00:30:54,330
I'm gonna pop!
707
00:30:54,414 --> 00:30:57,000
Oh, I'm popping! I'm popping!
708
00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:58,710
- Oh, I'm gonna pop.
- It's been giving me trouble all day.
709
00:30:58,793 --> 00:31:00,545
Just noises coming out of there.
710
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,798
You know, funny story.
Annie and I have actually already met.
711
00:31:04,340 --> 00:31:05,842
- At the library.
- Oh, yeah.
712
00:31:05,925 --> 00:31:09,179
I was checking out Moby Dick
and she had a cute little romance novel.
713
00:31:09,262 --> 00:31:10,388
How is that going for you?
714
00:31:10,471 --> 00:31:12,974
It's so good.
715
00:31:13,057 --> 00:31:14,225
- Good to hear.
- Yeah.
716
00:31:14,309 --> 00:31:17,145
You know, I wanna introduce you
to my son, Grant.
717
00:31:17,228 --> 00:31:18,730
- Isn't he handsome?
- (ANNIE CHUCKLES)
718
00:31:19,189 --> 00:31:21,024
- Nice to meet you.
- (VIBRATION ACCELERATING)
719
00:31:21,441 --> 00:31:24,360
- Oh...
- I'm Grant. Nice to meet you, too.
720
00:31:26,279 --> 00:31:28,364
You guys hear that?
It's like a hum...
721
00:31:29,282 --> 00:31:30,283
ELLEN: Mmm...
722
00:31:30,742 --> 00:31:32,785
No, I'm not... I don't...
I don't hear anything.
723
00:31:33,328 --> 00:31:35,288
(ANNIE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
724
00:31:35,371 --> 00:31:37,290
(SOFTLY) Annie. You okay?
725
00:31:37,373 --> 00:31:39,751
- ANNIE: Oh, I'm...
- You know what I think would be good?
726
00:31:39,834 --> 00:31:41,753
I think it would be great
if we went downstairs
727
00:31:41,836 --> 00:31:43,880
- and got Annie a hot piece of pie.
- Oh!
728
00:31:43,963 --> 00:31:45,381
Oh, God, yes!
729
00:31:45,465 --> 00:31:49,135
Great. You know, sometimes a girl
just needs something simple.
730
00:31:49,219 --> 00:31:50,428
- (VIBRATION STOPS)
- Am I right, honey?
731
00:31:50,512 --> 00:31:52,889
Here, why don't you give me a tour?
Let's start with your bedroom.
732
00:31:53,264 --> 00:31:54,265
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
733
00:31:59,771 --> 00:32:00,897
(VIBRATING)
734
00:32:02,023 --> 00:32:03,024
(VIBRATION STOPS)
735
00:32:04,067 --> 00:32:05,401
- It's very high tech.
- Mmm.
736
00:32:07,028 --> 00:32:08,780
- Nice to meet you, Annie.
- Mmm-hmm.
737
00:32:09,447 --> 00:32:10,448
Yeah.
738
00:32:14,994 --> 00:32:15,995
(SIGHS)
739
00:32:17,455 --> 00:32:20,416
EMMETT: This year's
Homecoming theme is so exciting.
740
00:32:20,500 --> 00:32:25,505
So come as you dream,
because we are having a Pajama Party...
741
00:32:25,588 --> 00:32:26,756
{\an8}MORP! Whoop whoop!
742
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:28,508
That's "prom" spelled backwards.
743
00:32:28,591 --> 00:32:32,011
Uh, instead of tuxedos and gowns,
put on your PJs and onesies!
744
00:32:32,095 --> 00:32:33,346
That's crazy!
745
00:32:33,429 --> 00:32:36,391
Now, I have the super
important responsibility
746
00:32:36,474 --> 00:32:38,434
of introducing our new leader,
747
00:32:38,518 --> 00:32:40,728
Principal Ellen Fisher.
748
00:32:41,062 --> 00:32:42,981
- ELLEN: Aw, thanks, Emmett.
- (EMMETT CLAPPING)
749
00:32:43,189 --> 00:32:44,190
Hello.
750
00:32:44,274 --> 00:32:46,943
I bet you're pretty surprised
to see me here in this position.
751
00:32:47,026 --> 00:32:48,194
- Well, guess what?
- Holy shit.
752
00:32:48,278 --> 00:32:49,320
I'm surprised, too.
753
00:32:49,988 --> 00:32:51,322
It is her. You're right.
754
00:32:51,698 --> 00:32:52,699
I told you.
755
00:32:53,658 --> 00:32:55,577
You said I'd never see her again.
756
00:32:55,660 --> 00:32:57,078
But I did.
757
00:32:57,495 --> 00:33:00,039
An hour later, in my bedroom,
758
00:33:00,123 --> 00:33:02,208
when I was using
a recently-purchased item.
759
00:33:03,418 --> 00:33:05,253
Ew, God. Private conversation.
760
00:33:05,336 --> 00:33:09,924
A strong, accomplished woman
who's very comfortable with her sexuality?
761
00:33:10,425 --> 00:33:12,760
She's, like, the perfect role model.
762
00:33:12,844 --> 00:33:14,971
- (ELLEN CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
- (SIGHS)
763
00:33:16,514 --> 00:33:20,935
ELLEN: It seems that Principal Shankman
retired, rather abruptly.
764
00:33:21,019 --> 00:33:24,355
But I know
we all wish him very, very well.
765
00:33:24,439 --> 00:33:27,317
So you guys, have a great day.
766
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:28,693
Go, Trademakers!
767
00:33:29,027 --> 00:33:31,112
- Uh, trailblazers.
- Trailblazers. I know.
768
00:33:31,196 --> 00:33:32,697
Go, Trailblazers! (CHUCKLES)
769
00:33:32,780 --> 00:33:33,781
(BELL RINGS)
770
00:33:36,701 --> 00:33:37,994
(OBJECTS CLATTERING)
771
00:33:38,077 --> 00:33:39,162
- Hey, you.
- (GASPS)
772
00:33:39,704 --> 00:33:42,248
Hi. Kayla, right?
773
00:33:42,332 --> 00:33:43,416
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
774
00:33:45,293 --> 00:33:46,461
I got your favorite.
775
00:33:46,711 --> 00:33:48,796
Wow! Thank you. Mmm.
776
00:33:49,714 --> 00:33:51,216
It really does taste like fall.
777
00:33:51,633 --> 00:33:52,926
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
778
00:33:53,426 --> 00:33:55,303
Oh, it so does.
779
00:33:56,137 --> 00:33:57,180
- You're so funny.
- Uh...
780
00:33:57,263 --> 00:33:59,390
I'm just gonna head to class. (CHUCKLES)
781
00:33:59,474 --> 00:34:01,893
Thank you, again, very much.
782
00:34:04,562 --> 00:34:05,563
Mmm.
783
00:34:07,315 --> 00:34:09,609
Hey. Who's that guy?
784
00:34:10,192 --> 00:34:11,694
Who is, uh... Oh!
785
00:34:12,069 --> 00:34:14,113
That guy. That's Grant.
786
00:34:14,697 --> 00:34:15,698
My friend.
787
00:34:15,781 --> 00:34:17,158
My special friend.
788
00:34:17,241 --> 00:34:19,410
We just broke up three days ago.
789
00:34:19,493 --> 00:34:22,038
Tim, are you jealous?
790
00:34:22,121 --> 00:34:24,499
That is so cute. (SIGHS)
791
00:34:24,582 --> 00:34:27,252
You know, if you ever wanted me
to drop by...
792
00:34:27,710 --> 00:34:28,710
TIM: Uh...
793
00:34:28,795 --> 00:34:30,964
We're not getting back together.
794
00:34:31,089 --> 00:34:32,089
Oh.
795
00:34:32,172 --> 00:34:34,592
Back together? (WINCES)
Who wants that?
796
00:34:34,676 --> 00:34:35,718
(CHUCKLES)
797
00:34:35,802 --> 00:34:37,971
No, I'm just talking
about a little ex sex.
798
00:34:38,971 --> 00:34:40,056
Ex sex?
799
00:34:40,139 --> 00:34:42,350
How many times
did we sneak off during lunch
800
00:34:42,433 --> 00:34:43,893
and go do it at your place?
801
00:34:43,977 --> 00:34:45,435
What's a few more?
802
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:49,274
Oh, I mean,
if you don't want to, I, you know...
803
00:34:49,357 --> 00:34:51,651
I think I have plans
with Grant anyway. So...
804
00:34:51,734 --> 00:34:53,278
Uh, lunchtime.
805
00:34:53,944 --> 00:34:54,946
My place.
806
00:35:00,368 --> 00:35:01,578
BOY: So, you guys
getting back together?
807
00:35:02,245 --> 00:35:03,830
That's how a bad bitch does it.
808
00:35:08,793 --> 00:35:10,503
She was holding my spot. Yeah.
809
00:35:13,381 --> 00:35:14,382
Hi.
810
00:35:15,341 --> 00:35:16,509
Remember me?
811
00:35:16,593 --> 00:35:18,178
- No.
- Sure you do.
812
00:35:18,261 --> 00:35:21,181
Yesterday, your room,
you were pleasuring yourself.
813
00:35:21,472 --> 00:35:22,473
(ANNIE SHUSHING)
814
00:35:22,557 --> 00:35:24,684
Gross, don't say it like that.
815
00:35:25,268 --> 00:35:26,603
Well, how should I say it?
816
00:35:26,686 --> 00:35:28,438
Just don't say it.
817
00:35:28,521 --> 00:35:30,148
Ever. To anyone.
818
00:35:30,231 --> 00:35:33,526
Okay. I won't.
'Cause it's nobody's business.
819
00:35:33,610 --> 00:35:34,861
- Fries, please.
- Right.
820
00:35:35,612 --> 00:35:38,323
You know what, to tell you the truth,
though, I found the whole thing kind of...
821
00:35:38,406 --> 00:35:40,325
I don't know, endearing.
822
00:35:40,783 --> 00:35:41,784
(SNICKERS)
823
00:35:42,827 --> 00:35:44,037
I have a boyfriend.
824
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,665
No, I know. I didn't get to meet him,
but he sounded really nice.
825
00:35:47,749 --> 00:35:49,375
- WOMAN: Eggplant taco?
- Yeah. Please. Thank you.
826
00:35:49,459 --> 00:35:53,713
Look, just because you barged into my room
while I was having a private moment
827
00:35:53,796 --> 00:35:57,175
with the love of my life,
doesn't mean you know me.
828
00:35:57,258 --> 00:35:58,343
I'm sorry.
829
00:35:58,426 --> 00:36:03,223
The "I'm about to pop, I'm popping" guy,
that's the love of your life?
830
00:36:03,932 --> 00:36:04,933
(CHUCKLES)
831
00:36:05,642 --> 00:36:08,812
I am in a mature,
committed relationship
832
00:36:08,895 --> 00:36:11,064
and if I told Jason
the things you are saying...
833
00:36:11,147 --> 00:36:13,650
Oh, you wouldn't be too happy, pal.
834
00:36:13,733 --> 00:36:16,569
Okay. Got it. Pal.
835
00:36:17,278 --> 00:36:20,824
Look, I wish you and your Internet lover
a lifetime of happiness.
836
00:36:21,866 --> 00:36:22,867
Enjoy your lunch.
837
00:36:23,952 --> 00:36:25,245
Thank you.
838
00:36:28,331 --> 00:36:29,332
(SIGHS)
839
00:36:30,291 --> 00:36:31,876
You're good at talking to boys.
840
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,170
How do you start?
I'm having trouble with my opening.
841
00:36:35,672 --> 00:36:38,091
Well, the damsel-in-distress shit
usually works like a charm.
842
00:36:38,716 --> 00:36:41,386
(CHUCKLES) Well, I am not doing that.
843
00:36:41,469 --> 00:36:42,971
Girl, it's amazing how dumb men can get
844
00:36:43,054 --> 00:36:45,390
when they think
we actually need them, so...
845
00:36:45,473 --> 00:36:46,599
GRANT: Emmett, what up, man?
846
00:36:47,767 --> 00:36:48,977
STEPHANIE: Hello, sexy.
847
00:36:51,229 --> 00:36:53,231
Okay, why is my wet dream
hugging Emmett?
848
00:36:54,774 --> 00:36:55,775
Wait.
849
00:36:56,818 --> 00:36:58,444
You don't actually like Grant, right?
850
00:36:58,528 --> 00:36:59,904
I mean, he's not your type.
851
00:36:59,988 --> 00:37:02,282
What could you two
possibly have in common?
852
00:37:02,365 --> 00:37:04,450
Undeniable animal magnetism, baby.
853
00:37:04,784 --> 00:37:07,370
Um, I have to go to, uh...
I have a library...
854
00:37:07,453 --> 00:37:08,663
I need to go to the... I have a book.
855
00:37:08,746 --> 00:37:09,914
I gotta... Bye. I'll see you later.
856
00:37:09,998 --> 00:37:11,708
- See ya.
- Text me.
857
00:37:11,791 --> 00:37:13,793
MICHELLE: Mmm-hmm.
Damsel in distress.
858
00:37:13,877 --> 00:37:15,503
Damsel in distress. Damsel in distress.
859
00:37:16,004 --> 00:37:17,380
That way.
860
00:38:01,299 --> 00:38:02,467
Oh, shit!
861
00:38:06,221 --> 00:38:07,222
- Whoa!
- (GROANS)
862
00:38:07,805 --> 00:38:08,806
Ah...
863
00:38:08,890 --> 00:38:10,517
GRANT: You, again.
864
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:11,684
You okay?
865
00:38:11,976 --> 00:38:13,144
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
866
00:38:14,103 --> 00:38:15,188
{\an8}MICHELLE: Yeah.
867
00:38:15,438 --> 00:38:16,439
Whoa.
868
00:38:16,523 --> 00:38:18,733
- Hi.
- Hi.
869
00:38:19,234 --> 00:38:23,655
I'm just so fragile and delicate.
870
00:38:24,364 --> 00:38:25,365
Okay.
871
00:38:25,448 --> 00:38:26,449
Wow.
872
00:38:27,116 --> 00:38:30,495
Your neck is very muscly.
873
00:38:30,578 --> 00:38:32,205
- Thank you.
- Mmm-hmm.
874
00:38:32,288 --> 00:38:34,958
I think maybe we should
get you some medical attention.
875
00:38:35,041 --> 00:38:36,626
- Okay.
- Okay.
876
00:38:39,838 --> 00:38:41,130
Mind if I join you?
877
00:38:41,673 --> 00:38:42,674
Hey.
878
00:38:43,049 --> 00:38:45,718
What? Uh, no. Why?
879
00:38:45,802 --> 00:38:47,762
Oh, come on.
We don't even talk anymore.
880
00:38:47,846 --> 00:38:49,764
Yeah. Not since fifth grade,
881
00:38:49,848 --> 00:38:52,892
when you told everyone
I wet my pants at recess.
882
00:38:53,601 --> 00:38:54,644
But you did.
883
00:38:55,061 --> 00:38:56,771
No, it was a malfunctioning
water fountain.
884
00:38:56,855 --> 00:38:57,897
Oh, right. Okay.
885
00:38:57,981 --> 00:38:59,732
Look, I'm reading, all right?
886
00:38:59,816 --> 00:39:02,068
And I know this isn't a practice
you're familiar with,
887
00:39:02,152 --> 00:39:03,695
but it's a nonverbal cue
888
00:39:03,778 --> 00:39:07,073
which says I'm enjoying some
solitary time, so, maybe don't bother me.
889
00:39:07,157 --> 00:39:10,076
Okay, well I kind of feel bad about
the whole wetting-the-pants thing, now.
890
00:39:10,743 --> 00:39:11,786
Yeah, you should.
891
00:39:14,414 --> 00:39:16,207
Hey, the guy you were talking to, Grant.
892
00:39:17,167 --> 00:39:18,251
You guys friends?
893
00:39:18,501 --> 00:39:21,963
Uh, we've only been roommates at band camp
the last seven summers,
894
00:39:22,046 --> 00:39:23,047
so, uh, yeah.
895
00:39:23,131 --> 00:39:25,300
- Yeah, we're friends.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Grant's in band?
896
00:39:25,383 --> 00:39:26,384
No shit.
897
00:39:26,467 --> 00:39:29,012
Yeah. He's an incredibly
talented saxophone player.
898
00:39:29,095 --> 00:39:30,388
- Boring.
- No.
899
00:39:30,471 --> 00:39:34,017
Sax is the sexiest wind instrument.
So it's not boring.
900
00:39:34,100 --> 00:39:36,895
Okay. What are his hobbies?
What's he like?
901
00:39:36,978 --> 00:39:39,397
Okay, you haven't
spoken to me in like nine years,
902
00:39:39,481 --> 00:39:42,525
so why don't you
go ask Grant these questions?
903
00:39:42,609 --> 00:39:44,486
Okay, look, Emmett,
I'm kinda turning over a new leaf.
904
00:39:45,111 --> 00:39:48,698
I'm looking to date
a different type, someone nice.
905
00:39:48,781 --> 00:39:51,159
And anyway, my charms of seduction
don't seem to be working on him,
906
00:39:51,242 --> 00:39:53,661
so I was thinking that,
I don't know, you'd help me out.
907
00:39:53,745 --> 00:39:57,290
You want me to help trick
my good friend Grant into liking you?
908
00:39:57,665 --> 00:39:58,708
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
909
00:39:58,833 --> 00:39:59,834
Hmm.
910
00:40:00,001 --> 00:40:02,879
Just so he can be another notch
on your lipstick case?
911
00:40:02,962 --> 00:40:05,673
Okay, news flash.
I don't have a lipstick case.
912
00:40:05,757 --> 00:40:07,884
And neither does anyone
under the age of 80, so...
913
00:40:07,967 --> 00:40:09,844
Look, dude, are you gonna
help me or what?
914
00:40:10,261 --> 00:40:12,013
(SCOFFS) Well, I foresee
a couple of problems.
915
00:40:12,096 --> 00:40:13,097
What?
916
00:40:13,181 --> 00:40:16,059
Well, Grant, he's got this
whole good taste thing.
917
00:40:16,142 --> 00:40:18,019
Yeah, and then...
And then there's my integrity.
918
00:40:18,102 --> 00:40:23,066
I'm reluctant to help trick
my friend into a romance with a dementor.
919
00:40:23,483 --> 00:40:24,484
(CHUCKLES)
920
00:40:25,610 --> 00:40:26,611
What's that?
921
00:40:26,694 --> 00:40:29,322
Dark creatures that
consume human happiness.
922
00:40:29,405 --> 00:40:30,532
It's from Harry Potter.
923
00:40:30,615 --> 00:40:32,784
Wow, you are such a fucking nerd.
924
00:40:36,329 --> 00:40:37,622
Look, I'll give you 20 bucks.
925
00:40:39,374 --> 00:40:41,501
How dare you?
You know, this guy's a friend.
926
00:40:41,584 --> 00:40:43,920
It's $100 minimum.
927
00:40:47,131 --> 00:40:48,341
Better be worth it.
928
00:40:49,592 --> 00:40:51,219
Hey, I think we need a nurse.
929
00:40:51,302 --> 00:40:53,555
Injured student. Code Blue!
930
00:40:53,721 --> 00:40:54,722
Huh?
931
00:40:54,806 --> 00:40:55,807
No...
932
00:40:55,890 --> 00:40:57,725
No, no, no. No Code Blue.
I'm fine. Really, I'm fine.
933
00:40:57,809 --> 00:40:58,935
Grant, what happened? Are you okay?
934
00:40:59,018 --> 00:41:00,019
I've got this, Principal Fisher.
935
00:41:00,103 --> 00:41:01,396
Grant, put her in this chair, all right?
I'll get her to the nurse.
936
00:41:01,479 --> 00:41:03,565
- Here we go. You're good.
- No, no, no. I...
937
00:41:03,648 --> 00:41:04,941
- Hey, take good care of her.
- Good work.
938
00:41:05,024 --> 00:41:06,276
- But, uh...
- Oh, my God,
939
00:41:06,359 --> 00:41:07,986
- your hair smells so beautiful.
- (STUTTERS)
940
00:41:08,778 --> 00:41:09,779
(MICHELLE SIGHS)
941
00:41:09,863 --> 00:41:11,531
Seriously, it's fine.
You don't have to push me.
942
00:41:11,614 --> 00:41:13,867
No, no, no, we're not taking
any chances here, all right?
943
00:41:13,950 --> 00:41:15,660
Not with the Academic
Decathlon captain.
944
00:41:15,743 --> 00:41:17,287
We need you this weekend
against Parkway High.
945
00:41:17,370 --> 00:41:19,998
- You watch the Academic Decathlon?
- Of course.
946
00:41:20,081 --> 00:41:22,500
Are you the guy that's always
holding up signs and cheering?
947
00:41:22,584 --> 00:41:24,794
Yeah. Yeah, that's me. Oliver.
948
00:41:24,878 --> 00:41:26,713
Ollie, if you're nasty.
949
00:41:26,796 --> 00:41:28,339
Okay, I'm gonna ignore
that last part.
950
00:41:28,423 --> 00:41:31,259
Listen, Principal Fisher
and her son, are they close?
951
00:41:31,342 --> 00:41:33,052
Yeah. Yeah. Real modern family.
952
00:41:33,136 --> 00:41:34,554
Single mom, only child.
953
00:41:35,054 --> 00:41:37,098
And you're her student aide.
954
00:41:37,182 --> 00:41:38,933
Do you need any help in the office?
955
00:41:39,017 --> 00:41:40,059
OLIVER: Yes!
956
00:41:40,143 --> 00:41:41,144
MICHELLE: Great.
957
00:41:41,728 --> 00:41:42,937
(BOTH MOANING)
958
00:41:43,021 --> 00:41:44,189
(WASHING MACHINE WHIRRING)
959
00:41:46,065 --> 00:41:47,066
(THUDS)
960
00:41:49,694 --> 00:41:50,904
(BOTH PANTING)
961
00:41:51,529 --> 00:41:52,864
(WASHING MACHINE
STOPS WHIRRING)
962
00:41:52,947 --> 00:41:53,948
Wow.
963
00:41:54,032 --> 00:41:55,533
- That was...
- Yum.
964
00:41:55,617 --> 00:41:58,411
- That was, um... (GRUNTS) Different.
- Oh.
965
00:41:58,495 --> 00:42:00,455
- Um...
- I like.
966
00:42:01,873 --> 00:42:03,041
Yeah.
967
00:42:03,124 --> 00:42:08,671
Yeah, something about
the, uh, impulsive nature of our meeting
968
00:42:08,755 --> 00:42:11,966
made me feel a little wild.
Didn't it?
969
00:42:12,300 --> 00:42:13,593
Oh, yeah.
970
00:42:13,676 --> 00:42:16,471
Casual hookups, no strings, no emotions.
971
00:42:16,554 --> 00:42:17,889
I am so good.
972
00:42:18,348 --> 00:42:20,183
Whoo. I'm gonna head out.
973
00:42:20,266 --> 00:42:21,684
Wait. You don't have to go yet.
974
00:42:21,768 --> 00:42:25,188
Oh, no. Super fun frolic.
Bang ya later. Maybe not. Who knows?
975
00:42:25,271 --> 00:42:26,606
Gotta go back to school.
976
00:42:39,953 --> 00:42:43,206
Oh, so you just happened to be
in the library during your free period?
977
00:42:43,706 --> 00:42:46,167
- Well, that's one way to say hello.
- Sorry.
978
00:42:46,251 --> 00:42:48,837
Hi, Grant. I'm afraid
now is not a good time
979
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,296
to inappropriately flirt with me,
980
00:42:50,380 --> 00:42:52,674
not only because I have a boyfriend,
981
00:42:52,757 --> 00:42:56,970
but also because my fascist French teacher
also decided he likes daily pop quizzes.
982
00:42:57,053 --> 00:42:59,889
So I guess I'll be spending
my free periods learning French.
983
00:42:59,973 --> 00:43:02,725
Damn. You're really feeling yourself, huh?
984
00:43:02,809 --> 00:43:05,103
I'm just sitting here,
minding my business.
985
00:43:05,186 --> 00:43:06,729
Oh, so you're not gonna flirt with me?
986
00:43:06,813 --> 00:43:08,106
I mean, I'm not, now.
987
00:43:08,189 --> 00:43:09,816
Took all the fun out of it.
988
00:43:09,899 --> 00:43:10,900
(SIGHS)
989
00:43:12,026 --> 00:43:13,027
All right, wait.
990
00:43:13,111 --> 00:43:16,072
I get it. Okay. You have a boyfriend.
991
00:43:16,156 --> 00:43:17,157
I'm sorry.
992
00:43:17,615 --> 00:43:21,578
It's just fun seeing you
get all flustered and worked up.
993
00:43:22,245 --> 00:43:24,122
You know, I actually speak French.
994
00:43:24,664 --> 00:43:26,916
I'd be more than happy
to help you prep for the quizzes.
995
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,836
Just friends. Study buddies.
996
00:43:29,919 --> 00:43:32,130
All right, no funny business.
997
00:43:32,213 --> 00:43:33,548
Truth is, I'm kind of lonely.
998
00:43:33,631 --> 00:43:35,717
I mean, I don't know anyone
at this school.
999
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,219
You'd be doing me a favor, seriously.
1000
00:43:38,636 --> 00:43:40,388
You really speak French?
1001
00:43:40,471 --> 00:43:41,723
Oui, oui.
1002
00:43:41,848 --> 00:43:42,849
(CHUCKLES)
1003
00:43:44,559 --> 00:43:45,768
Fine.
1004
00:43:50,565 --> 00:43:51,733
Just study buddies.
1005
00:43:51,816 --> 00:43:52,817
Of course.
1006
00:43:55,028 --> 00:43:57,030
(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
1007
00:44:05,330 --> 00:44:07,707
A goddess on a mountain top
1008
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,377
Was burning like a silver flame
1009
00:44:12,754 --> 00:44:15,215
The summit of beauty and love
1010
00:44:16,299 --> 00:44:18,176
And Venus was her name
1011
00:44:20,053 --> 00:44:21,179
She's got it
1012
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:24,641
Yeah, baby, she's got it
1013
00:44:28,061 --> 00:44:30,021
I'm your Venus
1014
00:44:30,104 --> 00:44:32,899
I'm your fire
At your desire
1015
00:44:35,068 --> 00:44:37,612
Well, I'm your Venus
1016
00:44:37,695 --> 00:44:40,698
I'm your fire
At your desire
1017
00:44:42,826 --> 00:44:45,995
Her weapons were her crystal eyes
1018
00:44:46,704 --> 00:44:49,165
Making every man mad
1019
00:44:50,083 --> 00:44:53,211
Black as the dark night she was
1020
00:44:53,294 --> 00:44:56,005
Got what no one else has
1021
00:44:57,799 --> 00:44:58,883
She's got it
1022
00:45:00,176 --> 00:45:02,220
Yeah, baby, she's got it
1023
00:45:05,890 --> 00:45:07,559
I'm your Venus
1024
00:45:07,642 --> 00:45:10,812
I'm your fire
At your desire
1025
00:45:12,522 --> 00:45:14,858
Well, I'm your Venus
1026
00:45:14,941 --> 00:45:18,027
I'm your fire
At your desire
1027
00:45:30,165 --> 00:45:32,458
Yeah, baby, she's got it
1028
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,254
Yeah, baby, she's got it
1029
00:45:37,714 --> 00:45:39,215
She's got it
1030
00:45:39,299 --> 00:45:43,052
This whole walk home I've been putting off
asking you to my mom's party.
1031
00:45:43,136 --> 00:45:45,054
You know, teachers, old people,
1032
00:45:45,138 --> 00:45:46,347
- total rager.
- (CHUCKLES)
1033
00:45:46,431 --> 00:45:49,726
And it's Saturday afternoon,
as if it's for a child, so, even better.
1034
00:45:49,809 --> 00:45:53,229
Uh, as fun as that sounds, I...
1035
00:45:53,313 --> 00:45:57,317
See, that excitement level was exactly why
I put this off until the end of our walk.
1036
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:00,320
But lucky for me, your dad's totally
gonna make you go, anyway.
1037
00:46:00,403 --> 00:46:02,989
Yeah, I think him and my mom,
like, have something going on.
1038
00:46:03,072 --> 00:46:05,992
(CHUCKLES) Ew.
Anyways, see you at the party.
1039
00:46:06,409 --> 00:46:07,702
Wait. What?
1040
00:46:08,328 --> 00:46:09,829
- You're welcome.
- (CHUCKLES)
1041
00:46:10,955 --> 00:46:11,956
Ew.
1042
00:46:13,458 --> 00:46:14,709
(POP SONG PLAYING)
1043
00:46:15,919 --> 00:46:19,005
I was all caught up for a while
1044
00:46:19,088 --> 00:46:21,049
EMMETT: I've dug up great stuff on Grant,
so just, uh, wait here,
1045
00:46:21,132 --> 00:46:22,467
and don't steal anything. Okay?
1046
00:46:22,550 --> 00:46:23,551
Great.
1047
00:46:24,552 --> 00:46:25,762
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1048
00:46:25,845 --> 00:46:28,473
Too bad I was acting like a child
1049
00:46:28,556 --> 00:46:29,557
(CHUCKLES)
1050
00:46:29,974 --> 00:46:33,102
I'd rather act like the woman I am
1051
00:46:39,818 --> 00:46:40,819
(CHUCKLES)
1052
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:50,745
- What the shit is this?
- Wow.
1053
00:46:50,829 --> 00:46:53,832
Your grasp of the English language
continues to astound.
1054
00:46:53,915 --> 00:46:57,710
Uh, wow. Well, uh, I guess I don't
redecorate as much as I should.
1055
00:46:57,794 --> 00:46:59,337
Oh, hardy-fuckin'-har.
1056
00:46:59,420 --> 00:47:02,090
You have a picture of me. Framed.
1057
00:47:02,173 --> 00:47:05,093
I know you probably didn't notice this,
but I'm in the picture as well.
1058
00:47:07,387 --> 00:47:09,055
God, we were like nine.
1059
00:47:09,639 --> 00:47:11,224
Dude, why do you even have this?
1060
00:47:11,307 --> 00:47:12,976
I like it. Okay?
1061
00:47:13,351 --> 00:47:15,145
Look at these kids, all right?
They're friends.
1062
00:47:15,228 --> 00:47:16,813
No one's judging.
1063
00:47:16,896 --> 00:47:18,439
No one has their feelings hurt.
1064
00:47:18,523 --> 00:47:21,484
So I keep this around.
1065
00:47:22,610 --> 00:47:23,903
You got a problem with that?
1066
00:47:25,196 --> 00:47:26,197
No.
1067
00:47:26,281 --> 00:47:30,201
Now, if you're ready
to set your psychological sex trap,
1068
00:47:30,285 --> 00:47:32,704
I've got a decade of backstory.
1069
00:47:32,787 --> 00:47:35,582
I can't express how much
I don't wanna go inside.
1070
00:47:35,665 --> 00:47:37,709
Okay, you know what?
It's time that you understand
1071
00:47:37,792 --> 00:47:39,919
what you want doesn't really matter.
1072
00:47:40,003 --> 00:47:41,379
Take me, for example.
1073
00:47:41,462 --> 00:47:44,632
I wake up every morning
and I drag myself to a job that I hate.
1074
00:47:44,716 --> 00:47:47,302
Ah, life lesson. Neat.
1075
00:47:47,385 --> 00:47:48,803
The point is...
1076
00:47:48,887 --> 00:47:52,557
I'm gonna be fine as long as
you don't cock-block me tonight.
1077
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:53,641
Comprende?
1078
00:47:53,850 --> 00:47:54,851
Ew!
1079
00:47:55,143 --> 00:47:56,186
(BOTH GROAN IN DISGUST)
1080
00:47:56,269 --> 00:47:58,771
- Daddy! Gross. Yes.
- Gross!
1081
00:47:58,855 --> 00:47:59,898
Get in there and be social.
1082
00:48:00,356 --> 00:48:01,691
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1083
00:48:11,993 --> 00:48:12,994
KEVIN: Oh, yeah.
1084
00:48:14,996 --> 00:48:16,789
It's on like Donkey Kong.
1085
00:48:17,457 --> 00:48:18,666
- Donkey what?
- See ya later.
1086
00:48:21,878 --> 00:48:23,880
KAYLA: Party in the house!
1087
00:48:25,465 --> 00:48:27,342
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, what are you doing here?
1088
00:48:27,425 --> 00:48:29,594
MICHELLE: No way.
STEPHANIE: What up, bitches?
1089
00:48:29,677 --> 00:48:31,638
MICHELLE: What?
STEPHANIE: Is this a wake or what?
1090
00:48:31,721 --> 00:48:33,848
I'm super confused.
Why are you all here right now?
1091
00:48:33,932 --> 00:48:34,933
GRANT: Hey, Annie.
1092
00:48:35,642 --> 00:48:36,935
- Ladies.
- GIRLS: Hey.
1093
00:48:37,018 --> 00:48:39,229
Thank you for all coming
to my mom's lame party.
1094
00:48:39,312 --> 00:48:41,356
Wait. I didn't know
you guys all knew Grant that well.
1095
00:48:41,439 --> 00:48:44,359
Yeah, I only bought him, like,
three pumpkin spice lattes this week.
1096
00:48:44,442 --> 00:48:45,443
Right?
1097
00:48:45,527 --> 00:48:48,238
Well, he, um, carried me to safety
when I broke my leg.
1098
00:48:48,321 --> 00:48:49,364
(CHUCKLES)
1099
00:48:49,447 --> 00:48:51,074
ANNIE: When did you... Which one?
STEPHANIE: Break your... Yeah.
1100
00:48:51,157 --> 00:48:53,076
It's much better now.
Stephanie, what are you doing here?
1101
00:48:53,159 --> 00:48:54,494
- I came with Emmett.
- Who?
1102
00:48:54,577 --> 00:48:55,703
- (OBJECT CLATTERING)
- That kid. Yeah.
1103
00:48:55,787 --> 00:48:57,914
So, he's Grant's best friend
and I'm friends with Emmett,
1104
00:48:57,997 --> 00:48:59,415
so it's kind of like
Grant and I are besties.
1105
00:48:59,499 --> 00:49:00,500
- Right?
- Is it?
1106
00:49:00,583 --> 00:49:01,751
Sure.
1107
00:49:01,835 --> 00:49:03,169
Oh, and where's your boyfriend, Kayla?
1108
00:49:03,253 --> 00:49:05,421
I told you, Stephanie,
1109
00:49:05,505 --> 00:49:07,131
- we broke up.
- Mmm.
1110
00:49:07,215 --> 00:49:09,509
You keep on saying
how nonstop the sex has been, right?
1111
00:49:09,592 --> 00:49:11,052
- Yeah.
- STEPHANIE: It's been like dirty
1112
00:49:11,135 --> 00:49:12,595
and hungry, you know what I mean?
1113
00:49:12,679 --> 00:49:13,680
Okay, uh, let's have a little...
1114
00:49:13,763 --> 00:49:15,181
Can we have a little girls',
like, powwow, just outside?
1115
00:49:15,265 --> 00:49:16,307
No, I'm fine.
1116
00:49:16,391 --> 00:49:19,644
Okay, so apparently
you've all chosen Grant for the pact?
1117
00:49:19,727 --> 00:49:21,604
Yeah, he's smart and articulate.
1118
00:49:21,688 --> 00:49:22,772
Yeah, nice guy.
1119
00:49:22,856 --> 00:49:24,065
- I mean, he hasn't hit on me once.
- MICHELLE: Hmm.
1120
00:49:24,149 --> 00:49:27,360
Have we considered
if that's because he's just not into you?
1121
00:49:27,443 --> 00:49:28,444
Screw you.
1122
00:49:28,528 --> 00:49:30,613
Rule number three,
I'm calling you on your bullshit.
1123
00:49:30,697 --> 00:49:32,574
Making Tim jealous is not your goal.
1124
00:49:32,657 --> 00:49:34,534
STEPHANIE: And as your accountability
partner, I'm just reminding you,
1125
00:49:34,617 --> 00:49:36,995
- neither is kissing up to Grant's mom.
- Oh.
1126
00:49:37,078 --> 00:49:38,746
Rule number two, we are best friends.
1127
00:49:38,830 --> 00:49:39,831
We should support each other.
1128
00:49:39,914 --> 00:49:41,666
We shouldn't let some boy
come between us.
1129
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:43,001
Us?
1130
00:49:43,084 --> 00:49:44,169
(LAUGHING)
1131
00:49:44,252 --> 00:49:45,920
I meant between you.
1132
00:49:46,004 --> 00:49:48,965
Right. 'Cause Emmett and I have seen you
having little French lessons with Grant.
1133
00:49:49,048 --> 00:49:50,049
Uh-huh. We've been studying.
1134
00:49:50,133 --> 00:49:51,176
"Studying."
1135
00:49:51,259 --> 00:49:52,427
I have a boyfriend.
1136
00:49:52,510 --> 00:49:55,054
God, yes, Annie, we get it. Thank you!
1137
00:49:55,138 --> 00:49:56,139
- (DOOR OPENS)
- GRANT: Hey!
1138
00:49:56,723 --> 00:49:57,724
Everything cool?
1139
00:49:58,224 --> 00:49:59,976
STEPHANIE: You know,
we should just table this. Okay?
1140
00:50:00,059 --> 00:50:01,060
- MICHELLE: But...
- Tabled!
1141
00:50:01,352 --> 00:50:02,395
Uh...
1142
00:50:02,479 --> 00:50:03,897
KAYLA: (GROANS) Stifler.
1143
00:50:04,314 --> 00:50:05,732
It doesn't seem like he's that into her.
1144
00:50:05,815 --> 00:50:07,692
Hmm. I thought you didn't care.
1145
00:50:07,775 --> 00:50:09,777
I'm just making an observation.
1146
00:50:10,612 --> 00:50:11,613
Right.
1147
00:50:11,696 --> 00:50:13,364
You two, guard the stairs.
1148
00:50:13,448 --> 00:50:14,782
I'm gonna do some recon.
1149
00:50:14,866 --> 00:50:15,867
What does that mean?
1150
00:50:15,950 --> 00:50:19,078
You know, check out his room,
scope it out, smell his underwear.
1151
00:50:19,162 --> 00:50:20,580
- I don't know. Bing-bang-boom.
- What?
1152
00:50:20,663 --> 00:50:23,166
That's kind of an invasion
of his privacy.
1153
00:50:23,625 --> 00:50:25,335
- It is?
- Hmm?
1154
00:50:25,418 --> 00:50:27,253
- (FAKE CRYING) Oh, my God, his privacy!
- Yeah.
1155
00:50:27,337 --> 00:50:29,339
- Just guard the stairs, nerds.
- Okay.
1156
00:50:32,759 --> 00:50:33,760
Oh, boy.
1157
00:50:33,843 --> 00:50:37,013
MICHELLE: You know, I think I'm gonna
do some recon work of my own.
1158
00:50:37,472 --> 00:50:38,806
- Okay. Bye.
- Bye.
1159
00:50:54,823 --> 00:50:59,661
{\an8}So, I do have some goodies,
but not enough to go around.
1160
00:50:59,744 --> 00:51:01,579
- Oh, I don't care if anybody...
- MICHELLE: Hey, Annie's dad!
1161
00:51:01,663 --> 00:51:03,665
Principal Fisher.
I just wanted to tell you
1162
00:51:03,748 --> 00:51:06,835
that I am so excited to have
a strong female role model to look up to.
1163
00:51:06,918 --> 00:51:09,254
- I was thinking maybe you and I could...
- Aw! Oliver!
1164
00:51:09,337 --> 00:51:10,338
(CLEARS THROAT) Hmm.
1165
00:51:10,797 --> 00:51:12,173
- MICHELLE: Uh, uh...
- Hi. Principal Fisher
1166
00:51:12,257 --> 00:51:14,509
doesn't wanna talk to you anymore,
but I would love to.
1167
00:51:14,592 --> 00:51:16,928
- Do you wanna hear my JFK?
- Who are you?
1168
00:51:17,011 --> 00:51:18,680
STEPHANIE: Something's been
missing out of my life.
1169
00:51:18,763 --> 00:51:20,890
You know, like a void
that needs to be filled, even.
1170
00:51:20,974 --> 00:51:21,975
(BONES CRACKING)
1171
00:51:22,058 --> 00:51:23,101
- Ow!
- Oh, sorry.
1172
00:51:23,184 --> 00:51:25,061
STEPHANIE: Okay, look,
I sense some resistance
1173
00:51:25,145 --> 00:51:26,521
and I really don't know
what the problem is,
1174
00:51:26,604 --> 00:51:28,731
so if you could just, like,
clear that up for me, that'd be great.
1175
00:51:28,815 --> 00:51:29,816
Okay.
1176
00:51:29,899 --> 00:51:32,986
Uh, well, for one, you hit me in the head
with a lacrosse ball, so...
1177
00:51:33,069 --> 00:51:34,487
Dude, it was an accident.
1178
00:51:34,571 --> 00:51:35,738
- Was it?
- Yeah.
1179
00:51:35,822 --> 00:51:37,574
Mmm... I mean, I saw the Venmo.
1180
00:51:37,657 --> 00:51:40,410
You got paid 20 bucks
for knocking out the new hot guy.
1181
00:51:40,493 --> 00:51:42,662
- Well, have you seen yourself?
- (CHUCKLES)
1182
00:51:43,705 --> 00:51:45,123
I forgot something in my room.
1183
00:51:45,206 --> 00:51:46,833
- I'll be back.
- All right.
1184
00:51:46,916 --> 00:51:49,002
- Nice ass.
- Yeah, thank you.
1185
00:51:51,045 --> 00:51:52,463
(MUFFLED) Oh, shit.
1186
00:51:53,882 --> 00:51:55,008
What the...
1187
00:51:58,136 --> 00:51:59,387
(CAMERA CLICKING)
1188
00:51:59,846 --> 00:52:01,014
- (DOOR OPENING)
- Oh.
1189
00:52:03,183 --> 00:52:04,476
Grant!
1190
00:52:04,559 --> 00:52:05,643
Hi.
1191
00:52:06,227 --> 00:52:07,479
Hey, you're, uh...
1192
00:52:07,562 --> 00:52:08,897
- You're missing the party.
- (SNIFFS)
1193
00:52:08,980 --> 00:52:12,025
Yeah, I'm, uh, kinda hiding, actually.
1194
00:52:12,108 --> 00:52:16,863
That girl Stephanie is so extra
and kind of terrifying.
1195
00:52:16,946 --> 00:52:17,947
Oh.
1196
00:52:18,406 --> 00:52:21,284
Uh, for your information,
guys are obsessed with her
1197
00:52:21,367 --> 00:52:24,078
and she also happens to be
a really great person.
1198
00:52:24,162 --> 00:52:25,163
So, um...
1199
00:52:25,580 --> 00:52:26,831
I didn't mean anything by it.
1200
00:52:26,915 --> 00:52:29,209
She's really nice. Just not my type.
1201
00:52:30,502 --> 00:52:31,586
You are.
1202
00:52:32,712 --> 00:52:34,881
- Uh...
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
1203
00:52:36,424 --> 00:52:39,719
I'm sorry. I know you have a boyfriend,
1204
00:52:39,802 --> 00:52:42,931
and I'm not supposed to
say or feel anything,
1205
00:52:43,014 --> 00:52:45,517
and I don't wanna ruin
the only friendship I have.
1206
00:52:45,809 --> 00:52:46,935
No.
1207
00:52:47,185 --> 00:52:48,186
No?
1208
00:53:00,782 --> 00:53:01,783
(CAMERA CLICKS)
1209
00:53:03,952 --> 00:53:05,245
Oh, hi.
1210
00:53:06,079 --> 00:53:07,747
Breaking news, bitches!
1211
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:10,041
Oh, shit.
1212
00:53:12,335 --> 00:53:13,336
(ALL GASP)
1213
00:53:13,419 --> 00:53:14,420
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
1214
00:53:16,214 --> 00:53:17,215
Whoa!
1215
00:53:18,925 --> 00:53:19,926
Oh, shit.
1216
00:53:20,593 --> 00:53:21,594
(GIRLS GROANING)
1217
00:53:23,638 --> 00:53:25,557
Wow. It is like Donkey Kong.
1218
00:53:26,850 --> 00:53:27,851
I'm okay.
1219
00:53:35,441 --> 00:53:36,442
GRANT: Ow.
1220
00:53:38,027 --> 00:53:39,696
Okay, what the hell was that?
1221
00:53:39,779 --> 00:53:41,865
Let me answer that question
with another question.
1222
00:53:41,948 --> 00:53:43,408
- What the hell is this?
- (GASPS)
1223
00:53:43,491 --> 00:53:44,492
MICHELLE: Annie!
1224
00:53:44,909 --> 00:53:46,619
You said that you weren't
even interested in Grant.
1225
00:53:46,703 --> 00:53:48,621
First of all, shh.
Second of all, delete that.
1226
00:53:48,705 --> 00:53:50,456
- I... I didn't do anything.
- KAYLA: (MOCKING) "I didn't do..."
1227
00:53:50,540 --> 00:53:52,750
You were practically eating his face.
1228
00:53:52,834 --> 00:53:55,003
- That's dramatic.
- What'd it taste like?
1229
00:53:55,086 --> 00:53:56,546
Guys! I am sticky and embarrassed
1230
00:53:56,629 --> 00:53:58,673
and I just got rejected by a man
for the first time in my life.
1231
00:53:58,756 --> 00:54:00,008
- Oh, boo-hoo!
- Go cry me a river.
1232
00:54:00,091 --> 00:54:01,092
STEPHANIE: Let's just call it a day.
1233
00:54:01,176 --> 00:54:02,552
- Cool?
- Fine.
1234
00:54:02,635 --> 00:54:04,345
Fine. I don't even care!
1235
00:54:05,597 --> 00:54:08,016
Hey, Annie. Can we talk real quick?
1236
00:54:08,099 --> 00:54:11,561
- Uh, nothing to talk about.
- Really?
1237
00:54:11,644 --> 00:54:14,814
How about the girl doing a photo shoot
in my lacrosse uniform
1238
00:54:14,898 --> 00:54:16,941
or I don't know,
how we kissed and you hit me?
1239
00:54:17,025 --> 00:54:18,193
We did not kiss.
1240
00:54:18,943 --> 00:54:19,944
You kissed me.
1241
00:54:20,236 --> 00:54:21,905
- Unannounced. Without permission.
- (SCOFFS)
1242
00:54:21,988 --> 00:54:24,491
Come on. You gave me permission
with your face.
1243
00:54:25,450 --> 00:54:28,119
You gave me kiss face.
It was... It was like...
1244
00:54:28,703 --> 00:54:30,872
- Oh, my face did not do that.
- Yeah.
1245
00:54:30,955 --> 00:54:31,956
- Yes, it did.
- It did not.
1246
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:33,833
- That's exactly what it did.
- I'm... I'm just gonna go home.
1247
00:54:33,917 --> 00:54:35,418
- Okay.
- So it was good seeing you.
1248
00:54:36,711 --> 00:54:37,754
- You live that way.
- I live that way.
1249
00:54:37,837 --> 00:54:39,297
- Yup.
- I knew that.
1250
00:54:39,631 --> 00:54:41,007
(SLOW FRENCH ROCK SONG PLAYING)
1251
00:55:05,365 --> 00:55:06,574
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1252
00:55:18,127 --> 00:55:19,504
Bonjour.
1253
00:55:19,587 --> 00:55:20,922
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1254
00:55:29,389 --> 00:55:30,390
{\an8}(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1255
00:55:35,270 --> 00:55:36,729
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1256
00:56:05,383 --> 00:56:06,384
(GASPS)
1257
00:56:06,968 --> 00:56:07,969
(SIGHS)
1258
00:56:12,182 --> 00:56:13,391
(IN ENGLISH) No, no, no.
1259
00:56:13,808 --> 00:56:14,934
No, no, no.
1260
00:56:15,393 --> 00:56:16,936
You don't like Grant.
1261
00:56:17,020 --> 00:56:19,397
You love Jason.
1262
00:56:22,650 --> 00:56:23,818
(BELL RINGING)
1263
00:56:29,157 --> 00:56:31,618
Nope. Nope, nope, nope.
1264
00:56:35,622 --> 00:56:37,415
Uh, biology is this way.
1265
00:56:37,499 --> 00:56:38,625
I'm going to see Jason.
1266
00:56:38,708 --> 00:56:40,460
This waiting around is making me crazy.
1267
00:56:40,543 --> 00:56:43,463
Wait. Are you cutting class?
You never cut class.
1268
00:56:43,546 --> 00:56:45,590
Some things are more important.
He's only three hours away.
1269
00:56:45,673 --> 00:56:48,051
I can get there, bang it out,
get my head straight,
1270
00:56:48,134 --> 00:56:49,427
be back before dinner.
1271
00:56:49,511 --> 00:56:51,763
- Annie, are you talking about...
- Sex!
1272
00:56:51,846 --> 00:56:54,849
I'm going to have sex
with the man that I love.
1273
00:56:54,933 --> 00:56:56,100
BOY: Yo, girl, go get you some!
1274
00:56:56,184 --> 00:56:57,560
GIRL: No glove, no love!
1275
00:56:57,644 --> 00:57:00,480
Okay! I'm so excited for you.
1276
00:57:01,064 --> 00:57:02,565
Let me get this straight.
1277
00:57:02,649 --> 00:57:05,151
You went from Tim's girlfriend
to his side piece.
1278
00:57:06,277 --> 00:57:08,404
And you're happy with that?
Isn't that kind of like a demotion?
1279
00:57:08,488 --> 00:57:10,240
No, you don't get it. It's casual.
1280
00:57:10,323 --> 00:57:11,699
Girl, I invented casual.
1281
00:57:11,783 --> 00:57:12,992
That's not what you're doing.
1282
00:57:13,076 --> 00:57:14,452
What you're doing is
pretending it's casual
1283
00:57:14,536 --> 00:57:16,371
so you can still fuck the guy you like.
1284
00:57:17,413 --> 00:57:19,374
- Oh, my God.
- There ya go.
1285
00:57:19,457 --> 00:57:21,584
I do still like him.
1286
00:57:21,668 --> 00:57:27,006
Our casual, no-strings-attached sex
is neither casual nor without strings!
1287
00:57:27,090 --> 00:57:29,259
- There are feelings!
- Does Tim know that?
1288
00:57:29,676 --> 00:57:32,136
No. No, he does not, but he will.
1289
00:57:32,846 --> 00:57:34,722
He's gonna know right now.
1290
00:57:35,598 --> 00:57:37,350
- Okay. (EXHALES)
- Kayla?
1291
00:57:39,018 --> 00:57:40,687
- She okay?
- Who knows?
1292
00:57:40,770 --> 00:57:43,690
Well, get this.
Annie just left school to go see Jason.
1293
00:57:43,773 --> 00:57:45,358
No shit! Good for her.
1294
00:57:45,441 --> 00:57:47,277
- You know what this means, though?
- What?
1295
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:48,361
Annie wins.
1296
00:57:48,444 --> 00:57:49,487
(LAUGHING)
1297
00:57:49,571 --> 00:57:52,448
She does. After she does the deed,
she's fulfilled her goal.
1298
00:57:52,532 --> 00:57:54,033
Kayla is still obsessed with Tim.
1299
00:57:54,117 --> 00:57:55,702
I'm absolutely nowhere.
1300
00:57:55,785 --> 00:57:58,163
And Grant seems to be the only guy
in school who doesn't lust after you.
1301
00:57:59,205 --> 00:58:00,456
It's not over yet.
1302
00:58:00,540 --> 00:58:01,708
Oh, come on, Steph.
1303
00:58:01,791 --> 00:58:03,168
The MORP is in a week.
1304
00:58:03,251 --> 00:58:04,961
Champions are made in the last quarter.
1305
00:58:05,587 --> 00:58:07,172
Game just got interesting.
1306
00:58:12,260 --> 00:58:14,762
Hey. Hey. Glad you came.
1307
00:58:14,846 --> 00:58:17,140
- Um, I need to talk to you.
- Okay.
1308
00:58:17,724 --> 00:58:18,975
Why are we in the library?
1309
00:58:19,058 --> 00:58:20,477
Nobody ever comes back here.
1310
00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:22,020
Dangerous...
1311
00:58:22,103 --> 00:58:23,563
Sexy, huh?
1312
00:58:24,314 --> 00:58:25,315
(SIGHS)
1313
00:58:26,149 --> 00:58:27,192
Oh, you hate it.
1314
00:58:27,275 --> 00:58:28,401
God, I'm sorry.
1315
00:58:28,485 --> 00:58:30,361
It was such a stupid idea.
1316
00:58:30,445 --> 00:58:33,281
Look, I respect you
and I just want you to know
1317
00:58:33,364 --> 00:58:36,034
that this is always a safe space.
1318
00:58:38,036 --> 00:58:39,621
All right, pants off, make it quick.
1319
00:58:39,704 --> 00:58:41,206
I'm sure that will not be a problem. Oh!
1320
00:58:42,248 --> 00:58:43,666
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
- (CHUCKLES)
1321
00:58:43,750 --> 00:58:45,543
Principal Fisher? Oh.
1322
00:58:45,877 --> 00:58:47,170
Sorry. I can come back.
1323
00:58:47,253 --> 00:58:48,421
No, that's okay.
1324
00:58:48,505 --> 00:58:50,840
Well, it's kind of a weird situation.
1325
00:58:50,924 --> 00:58:53,259
- See, I made this pact...
- No, no, no.
1326
00:58:53,343 --> 00:58:54,385
Sorry.
1327
00:58:54,511 --> 00:58:55,512
Um...
1328
00:58:55,845 --> 00:58:57,055
I made this pact with my friends
1329
00:58:57,138 --> 00:58:59,641
that I would try and date somebody
who I'm really proud of
1330
00:58:59,724 --> 00:59:00,934
and who really gets me,
1331
00:59:01,017 --> 00:59:03,728
but I feel like in doing so,
I've kind of lost sight of myself.
1332
00:59:03,812 --> 00:59:05,939
I mean, I thought that Grant
was the guy that I wanted
1333
00:59:06,022 --> 00:59:09,526
because he's smart
and he's cute and he's socially conscious.
1334
00:59:09,609 --> 00:59:11,361
- Great job on that, by the way.
- Thanks.
1335
00:59:11,444 --> 00:59:13,196
But I don't even know who I've become.
1336
00:59:13,279 --> 00:59:17,367
Like, I'm pretending to be weak
and helpless to manipulate a man?
1337
00:59:17,450 --> 00:59:19,035
What would Ruth Bader Ginsburg say?
1338
00:59:19,118 --> 00:59:20,245
I mean, I don't need a man
to complete me.
1339
00:59:20,328 --> 00:59:23,164
I'm a strong, smart,
independent woman. Right?
1340
00:59:23,248 --> 00:59:26,084
Michelle, there is nothing wrong
with wanting to be in a relationship.
1341
00:59:26,167 --> 00:59:28,503
Everybody deserves a little romance.
1342
00:59:28,586 --> 00:59:30,964
But I do think
you're barking up the wrong tree.
1343
00:59:31,047 --> 00:59:33,049
I mean, if Grant were
the right guy for you,
1344
00:59:33,132 --> 00:59:35,718
you wouldn't have to be
anything but yourself.
1345
00:59:35,802 --> 00:59:38,805
It does, however,
make me think of another young man,
1346
00:59:38,888 --> 00:59:42,433
a young man who happened
to score 1,590 on his SAT,
1347
00:59:42,517 --> 00:59:44,894
a young man who volunteers
every single weekend.
1348
00:59:44,978 --> 00:59:45,979
(CHUCKLES)
1349
00:59:46,062 --> 00:59:47,689
You're describing my ideal mate.
1350
00:59:47,772 --> 00:59:51,234
He is obsessed with presidential history.
1351
00:59:51,317 --> 00:59:52,735
Are you shitting me, Principal Fisher?
1352
00:59:52,819 --> 00:59:55,029
I shit you not, Michelle.
Watch your language.
1353
00:59:55,113 --> 00:59:58,783
His name is Oliver Hawthorn,
and you work with him every single day,
1354
00:59:58,867 --> 01:00:01,327
and he clearly has
an obvious crush on you.
1355
01:00:01,744 --> 01:00:03,246
Now get out, I'm very busy.
1356
01:00:03,830 --> 01:00:05,290
- (CAMERA CLICKING)
- Right. Okay.
1357
01:00:06,875 --> 01:00:08,084
- Bye-bye.
- Thank you.
1358
01:00:08,751 --> 01:00:11,129
Oh, well, I mean, what can you expect?
1359
01:00:11,212 --> 01:00:12,672
She's been through a lot.
1360
01:00:18,761 --> 01:00:22,015
So, um, I hear you're into presidents.
1361
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:24,225
Uh, just Kennedy.
1362
01:00:25,518 --> 01:00:28,688
"My fellow Americans,
ask not what your country can do for you.
1363
01:00:28,771 --> 01:00:30,023
- (MICHELLE MOANS)
- "Ask what you can do for your country."
1364
01:00:30,815 --> 01:00:32,066
(CHUCKLING) It's not
a very good impression,
1365
01:00:32,150 --> 01:00:33,151
but I mean, I'm trying to perfect it.
1366
01:00:33,234 --> 01:00:35,695
- Um, I... I actually have to go.
- Okay.
1367
01:00:35,778 --> 01:00:37,363
- Right now.
- Oh.
1368
01:00:37,447 --> 01:00:38,448
Bye.
1369
01:00:41,409 --> 01:00:42,702
Oh, man.
1370
01:00:42,785 --> 01:00:45,497
Since we broke up,
the sex just keeps getting better, right?
1371
01:00:48,500 --> 01:00:51,252
Hey, what's up? You okay?
1372
01:00:53,171 --> 01:00:56,716
What are the odds, uh,
this isn't just meaningless sex to you?
1373
01:01:00,011 --> 01:01:04,265
What are the odds, um,
that you're actually in love with me,
1374
01:01:05,350 --> 01:01:07,477
but you're just afraid
of your feelings
1375
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:12,148
and, um, deep in your heart
you wanna stay with me?
1376
01:01:17,987 --> 01:01:19,072
That's what I thought.
1377
01:01:19,906 --> 01:01:22,992
Um, I can't do this casual thing.
1378
01:01:24,619 --> 01:01:26,246
Not with you. (SNIFFS)
1379
01:01:26,955 --> 01:01:28,414
I just want more.
1380
01:01:31,209 --> 01:01:32,502
I deserve more.
1381
01:01:36,047 --> 01:01:37,131
Bye, Tim.
1382
01:01:43,847 --> 01:01:45,515
ANNIE: Hey, Jason, it's me.
1383
01:01:45,598 --> 01:01:48,643
I can't really talk right now,
and I know you're in class anyway,
1384
01:01:48,726 --> 01:01:50,770
but I have a surprise for you.
1385
01:01:50,854 --> 01:01:52,981
So, call me back
when you get this, okay?
1386
01:01:53,064 --> 01:01:54,732
- I love you. Bye.
- (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
1387
01:01:54,816 --> 01:01:56,526
Don't let this slip away
1388
01:01:56,609 --> 01:01:58,778
Maybe this road leads to Rome
1389
01:01:58,862 --> 01:02:01,573
But, baby, you make me feel at home
1390
01:02:01,656 --> 01:02:05,410
Together we're unstoppable
It's undeniable
1391
01:02:05,493 --> 01:02:08,121
Let's go, go, go, go
1392
01:02:08,204 --> 01:02:11,374
Let's go all the way tonight
1393
01:02:11,457 --> 01:02:14,711
Take me all the way tonight
1394
01:02:14,794 --> 01:02:17,672
Baby, we can make this last
1395
01:02:17,755 --> 01:02:20,717
Nothing's gonna hold us back
1396
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:24,053
Let's take it all the way tonight
1397
01:02:24,137 --> 01:02:27,390
Leave it up to fate tonight
1398
01:02:27,473 --> 01:02:28,516
- Thanks, buddy.
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1399
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:31,019
So let's go all the way tonight
1400
01:02:31,102 --> 01:02:33,146
- Up top, baby. Hit me! One more.
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1401
01:02:33,229 --> 01:02:36,900
Let's take it all the way tonight
1402
01:02:36,983 --> 01:02:40,445
Leave it up to fate tonight
1403
01:02:40,528 --> 01:02:43,823
So let's go all the way tonight
1404
01:02:43,907 --> 01:02:47,952
{\an8}Let's go all the way tonight, tonight
1405
01:02:50,538 --> 01:02:53,208
JASON: I'm gonna pop.
I'm gonna pop. I'm gonna pop.
1406
01:02:53,291 --> 01:02:54,834
- Oh, I'm popping!
- (GASPS)
1407
01:02:55,460 --> 01:02:56,461
Oh.
1408
01:02:56,544 --> 01:02:58,338
Um, Annie.
1409
01:02:58,463 --> 01:03:00,340
- ANNIE: Are you kidding me?
- (CHUCKLES)
1410
01:03:00,507 --> 01:03:02,217
Uh...
1411
01:03:02,300 --> 01:03:03,468
It's not what it looks like.
1412
01:03:03,551 --> 01:03:04,802
- It's not?
- No.
1413
01:03:04,886 --> 01:03:06,304
Um, she's my math tutor.
1414
01:03:06,387 --> 01:03:07,639
ANNIE: Was she tutoring you right now?
1415
01:03:07,722 --> 01:03:08,973
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, my God!
1416
01:03:09,057 --> 01:03:10,475
- Just calm down.
- Calm down?
1417
01:03:10,558 --> 01:03:12,977
You think telling me to calm down
is gonna make me calm down?
1418
01:03:13,061 --> 01:03:14,562
Well, you're acting a little hysterical.
1419
01:03:14,646 --> 01:03:17,649
Am I? Am I a little bit hysterical?
1420
01:03:17,732 --> 01:03:18,775
(GRUNTS)
1421
01:03:18,858 --> 01:03:20,735
That really hurt bad!
1422
01:03:23,404 --> 01:03:24,656
Wait here.
1423
01:03:26,699 --> 01:03:28,034
{\an8}(MUFFLED)
1424
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:33,081
Annie. Annie.
1425
01:03:33,164 --> 01:03:35,124
Annie, honey. Honey. Honey.
1426
01:03:35,208 --> 01:03:38,253
Sorry. Annie, um,
talk to you one second?
1427
01:03:38,336 --> 01:03:39,504
- What?
- Please.
1428
01:03:39,587 --> 01:03:41,130
What do you wanna say?
1429
01:03:41,548 --> 01:03:44,717
I don't know.
Long distance relationships are rough.
1430
01:03:44,801 --> 01:03:46,010
Oh, is that right?
1431
01:03:46,094 --> 01:03:48,012
Yeah, I mean,
there's so many hot chicks here.
1432
01:03:48,638 --> 01:03:50,598
You're hot too, obviously.
Of course.
1433
01:03:50,682 --> 01:03:52,308
It's just, you know,
you're not college-hot.
1434
01:03:52,392 --> 01:03:53,643
Your brain is hot.
1435
01:03:53,726 --> 01:03:56,896
Jason, I'm breaking up with you.
1436
01:03:56,980 --> 01:04:00,024
I only came here because I felt guilty.
1437
01:04:00,108 --> 01:04:02,110
I like someone else.
1438
01:04:02,193 --> 01:04:05,363
He kissed me and I liked it,
and it freaked me out.
1439
01:04:05,446 --> 01:04:06,447
Okay.
1440
01:04:06,531 --> 01:04:09,450
So, I thought if I came here,
if I saw you,
1441
01:04:09,534 --> 01:04:12,996
if we made love, then my feelings for you
would come rushing back.
1442
01:04:14,247 --> 01:04:15,582
When I saw you with her,
1443
01:04:16,708 --> 01:04:19,878
after the anger, you know what I felt?
1444
01:04:21,546 --> 01:04:22,755
I felt relief.
1445
01:04:24,132 --> 01:04:25,133
Some dude kissed you?
1446
01:04:25,383 --> 01:04:26,384
(CHUCKLES)
1447
01:04:26,885 --> 01:04:27,886
What?
1448
01:04:29,888 --> 01:04:32,098
You're just really not
who I wanted you to be.
1449
01:04:34,392 --> 01:04:36,519
Wow, that was... That was rough.
1450
01:04:39,063 --> 01:04:41,191
GIRL 1: Nice towel, douchebag.
1451
01:04:41,274 --> 01:04:42,901
(GIRL 2 SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)
1452
01:04:50,950 --> 01:04:52,535
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
1453
01:04:55,330 --> 01:04:56,331
- (ANNIE CLEARS THROAT)
- Oh.
1454
01:04:56,789 --> 01:04:57,790
Oh.
1455
01:04:57,999 --> 01:04:59,501
Annie, have you been crying?
1456
01:05:00,126 --> 01:05:01,628
Oh, honey.
1457
01:05:01,711 --> 01:05:03,463
Oh, I think I know what this is.
1458
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:04,881
Annie, don't worry.
1459
01:05:04,964 --> 01:05:07,425
Ellen's not trying to become
your new mommy.
1460
01:05:07,759 --> 01:05:11,095
- Oh, my God.
- Honey, that's not why she's upset.
1461
01:05:11,179 --> 01:05:14,766
Clearly, she's mortified 'cause she just
walked in on us about to have sex.
1462
01:05:15,308 --> 01:05:17,268
Yeah. Yeah. What she said.
1463
01:05:17,560 --> 01:05:21,523
Oh. (CHUCKLES) No, this is...
This is just a casual thing.
1464
01:05:21,606 --> 01:05:23,441
- I think the kids call it F-buddies.
- (CHORTLES)
1465
01:05:23,525 --> 01:05:25,109
On that note, okay.
1466
01:05:25,193 --> 01:05:26,986
Oh, God. Oh, God.
1467
01:05:28,696 --> 01:05:30,073
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1468
01:05:30,740 --> 01:05:33,535
KEVIN: Annie? Can I come in.
1469
01:05:33,910 --> 01:05:34,953
Okay.
1470
01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:53,096
Annie, did, um...
Did what you see downstairs upset you?
1471
01:05:53,179 --> 01:05:55,557
Oh, no, it makes perfect sense.
1472
01:05:56,099 --> 01:05:57,851
Everyone's having sex but me.
1473
01:05:58,518 --> 01:05:59,561
Sex?
1474
01:05:59,644 --> 01:06:02,647
(CHUCKLES) I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to say it.
1475
01:06:04,065 --> 01:06:05,733
I broke up with Jason.
1476
01:06:07,110 --> 01:06:08,111
Oh.
1477
01:06:08,444 --> 01:06:09,946
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
1478
01:06:11,239 --> 01:06:12,240
I'm not.
1479
01:06:12,323 --> 01:06:13,324
(CHUCKLES)
1480
01:06:14,868 --> 01:06:15,910
Oh, babe.
1481
01:06:15,994 --> 01:06:19,789
You are the most
incredible person I know.
1482
01:06:19,873 --> 01:06:22,834
You're so smart, you're so funny.
1483
01:06:23,710 --> 01:06:25,170
You are so beautiful.
1484
01:06:25,795 --> 01:06:27,505
I don't need a pep talk, Dad.
1485
01:06:27,589 --> 01:06:30,341
That Jason never deserved you.
1486
01:06:32,468 --> 01:06:36,931
- And I never liked the guy, so there!
- (BOTH LAUGH)
1487
01:06:37,015 --> 01:06:38,141
Wait. Really?
1488
01:06:38,224 --> 01:06:40,727
- No. He was a total brobag.
- (CHUCKLES)
1489
01:06:42,937 --> 01:06:44,439
BOTH: Mmm.
1490
01:06:44,856 --> 01:06:46,107
I love you, Dad.
1491
01:06:47,233 --> 01:06:48,526
I love you too, babe.
1492
01:06:53,781 --> 01:06:54,991
(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
1493
01:06:57,660 --> 01:06:58,828
(BELL RINGING)
1494
01:06:59,829 --> 01:07:02,373
- Grant. Hey-hey.
- Hey.
1495
01:07:02,457 --> 01:07:05,460
So, I'm having a little gathering
at my place tonight,
1496
01:07:05,543 --> 01:07:06,586
if you wanna come.
1497
01:07:07,295 --> 01:07:09,464
Cool. Have you seen Annie, by chance?
1498
01:07:10,215 --> 01:07:11,216
Oh.
1499
01:07:11,299 --> 01:07:13,885
Oh, well, she went to go
visit her boyfriend at college yesterday.
1500
01:07:13,968 --> 01:07:16,054
Yeah, they're probably
still banging it out.
1501
01:07:16,137 --> 01:07:17,138
But back to my thing.
1502
01:07:17,222 --> 01:07:20,767
So, my favorite saxophone
player, Vladimir Ullich, he's amazing...
1503
01:07:20,850 --> 01:07:22,977
- Are... Are you being serious?
- What?
1504
01:07:23,061 --> 01:07:25,897
Vladimir Ullich is, like,
my favorite musician of all time.
1505
01:07:25,980 --> 01:07:27,065
- Is it really?
- Yeah.
1506
01:07:27,148 --> 01:07:29,192
What... What are the odds
of that happening?
1507
01:07:29,275 --> 01:07:31,194
- Not high.
- Well, you should stop by then.
1508
01:07:31,277 --> 01:07:33,905
It's, like, a listening party.
Like, we'll play it all night.
1509
01:07:33,988 --> 01:07:35,949
I mean, I'm quirky, so...
1510
01:07:36,032 --> 01:07:37,408
You know what? Cool.
1511
01:07:37,492 --> 01:07:38,576
- Oh, great.
- Great.
1512
01:07:38,660 --> 01:07:39,828
- Great. I'll see you there.
- All right
1513
01:07:39,911 --> 01:07:40,912
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1514
01:07:40,995 --> 01:07:42,205
Baby, she's drop dead gorgeous
1515
01:07:42,288 --> 01:07:43,456
Drop dead
1516
01:07:43,540 --> 01:07:46,042
- (SONG STOPS)
- Oh. My bad. I'll see you.
1517
01:07:46,125 --> 01:07:47,752
- Okay.
- Okay. Bye.
1518
01:07:47,836 --> 01:07:48,837
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1519
01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:50,547
Baby, she's drop dead gorgeous
1520
01:07:50,630 --> 01:07:51,756
Drop dead
1521
01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:52,966
KAYLA: Freeze!
1522
01:07:53,216 --> 01:07:54,342
I got eyes on Annie.
1523
01:07:54,634 --> 01:07:55,635
Quad, stat.
1524
01:07:55,969 --> 01:07:56,970
(EXHALES)
1525
01:07:57,053 --> 01:07:59,430
- Well, well, well, look who it is.
- What's this?
1526
01:07:59,681 --> 01:08:01,307
- Well, well, well, look...
- I already did that.
1527
01:08:01,391 --> 01:08:02,725
- Damn it.
- STEPHANIE: Annie!
1528
01:08:02,809 --> 01:08:05,395
You disappear, lose your virginity,
no call, no text?
1529
01:08:05,478 --> 01:08:06,855
Like, you ghosted us.
1530
01:08:07,772 --> 01:08:09,774
Sorry. I've just been dead.
1531
01:08:10,316 --> 01:08:11,651
Because of all the sex?
1532
01:08:11,776 --> 01:08:13,528
Girl, this is a big-ass moment for you.
1533
01:08:13,653 --> 01:08:15,696
- (BELL RINGING)
- Shit!
1534
01:08:15,780 --> 01:08:18,158
Okay, we'll talk tonight? But you all
are coming to my party tonight, right?
1535
01:08:18,240 --> 01:08:19,575
- Yeah, duh.
- Okay. Great.
1536
01:08:19,659 --> 01:08:22,078
And since Annie has had
sweet Freeform TV sex,
1537
01:08:22,162 --> 01:08:24,622
I'll swoop in and seduce
the lovely Grant. (CLICKS TONGUE)
1538
01:08:24,706 --> 01:08:27,374
KAYLA: Yes! What's up! Whoo!
MICHELLE: Yeah!
1539
01:08:27,458 --> 01:08:30,128
KAYLA: (SING-SONG) Mama had sex!
STEPHANIE: She ain't a virgin!
1540
01:08:30,211 --> 01:08:31,212
{\an8}(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)
1541
01:08:31,296 --> 01:08:33,131
{\an8}We make the beat go
boom, boom, boom
1542
01:08:33,213 --> 01:08:34,883
Boom, boom, boom
1543
01:08:34,966 --> 01:08:38,093
I like the sound it makes
Boom, boom, boom
1544
01:08:38,178 --> 01:08:40,262
You do this kind of thing
every weekend?
1545
01:08:40,346 --> 01:08:43,307
Stifler's parties are the bedrock
on which East Great Falls was built.
1546
01:08:43,432 --> 01:08:46,811
And tonight, we're using the party gods
to seduce the new guy.
1547
01:08:46,895 --> 01:08:49,230
(LAUGHS) Wow. You need to sacrifice
a virgin or something?
1548
01:08:49,314 --> 01:08:50,690
No, don't worry, you're safe.
1549
01:08:50,773 --> 01:08:52,233
Okay, so we thought of everything, right?
1550
01:08:52,316 --> 01:08:54,819
- Grant's favorite music, snacks, drinks?
- Yeah.
1551
01:08:54,903 --> 01:08:56,404
I mean, I'm even wearing
his favorite color.
1552
01:08:56,613 --> 01:08:58,530
- You look beautiful.
- Thanks.
1553
01:08:58,907 --> 01:09:00,450
- He's a lucky guy.
- I know.
1554
01:09:01,159 --> 01:09:02,160
Oh.
1555
01:09:03,703 --> 01:09:04,954
Here you go.
1556
01:09:05,788 --> 01:09:07,123
What... What's this?
1557
01:09:07,664 --> 01:09:09,626
Wait, I pay you
and you buy me something?
1558
01:09:10,418 --> 01:09:11,628
That's fucking stupid.
1559
01:09:11,711 --> 01:09:14,672
- The usual response is, "Thank you."
- Mmm.
1560
01:09:18,927 --> 01:09:20,178
It's a lipstick case.
1561
01:09:22,430 --> 01:09:24,432
On, uh...
On which to make notches.
1562
01:09:26,684 --> 01:09:28,561
It's a present, a thoughtful one.
1563
01:09:30,521 --> 01:09:32,690
- I also wrapped it.
- Yeah, and you...
1564
01:09:32,774 --> 01:09:34,108
- And you wrapped it. Uh...
- KAYLA: Whoo!
1565
01:09:35,610 --> 01:09:37,779
Well, my girls are here
so I should... I should go.
1566
01:09:39,321 --> 01:09:40,782
- Sure.
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
1567
01:09:41,699 --> 01:09:42,700
Hey, hey. Uh...
1568
01:09:44,494 --> 01:09:45,537
Good luck with Grant.
1569
01:09:46,287 --> 01:09:48,581
Emmett, thank you. For everything.
1570
01:09:49,414 --> 01:09:52,001
And my present. I love it.
1571
01:09:56,172 --> 01:09:58,633
What up, bitches!
1572
01:09:58,716 --> 01:10:00,218
Welcome to Bang-Grant Palooza!
1573
01:10:00,468 --> 01:10:02,262
- Ow.
- Hi, boo-boo, how are you?
1574
01:10:02,345 --> 01:10:03,972
Hey, you know, being a good winner
1575
01:10:04,055 --> 01:10:05,974
is just as important
as being a good loser, Steph.
1576
01:10:06,057 --> 01:10:07,684
- Oh, you're throwing shade?
- Way to read a room.
1577
01:10:08,268 --> 01:10:10,103
Guys, when did this
turn into a competition?
1578
01:10:10,186 --> 01:10:12,605
This was never supposed to be
about us competing for a boy.
1579
01:10:12,689 --> 01:10:14,399
Yeah, this was supposed
to make me feel better.
1580
01:10:15,024 --> 01:10:16,568
I don't feel better.
1581
01:10:16,693 --> 01:10:19,904
Now you're gonna smash Grant
when he really likes Annie.
1582
01:10:21,030 --> 01:10:22,323
- BOTH: What?
- Uh, yeah.
1583
01:10:22,740 --> 01:10:23,825
When I was in his room,
1584
01:10:23,908 --> 01:10:26,619
he told her he liked her
and then he kissed her.
1585
01:10:26,703 --> 01:10:28,705
Okay, well you made it
sound like it was the other way around.
1586
01:10:28,788 --> 01:10:30,331
I can be a little extra sometimes.
1587
01:10:30,415 --> 01:10:31,583
Yeah, no shit!
1588
01:10:31,791 --> 01:10:33,126
GRANT: Hey, Emmett!
EMMETT: What's up, man?
1589
01:10:33,209 --> 01:10:35,378
MICHELLE: I mean, he's cute,
but he's not worth this.
1590
01:10:35,712 --> 01:10:37,297
- I'm out, guys.
- EMMETT: Ladies, hey.
1591
01:10:37,714 --> 01:10:39,632
- Look who I found.
- GRANT: Hey.
1592
01:10:41,801 --> 01:10:43,344
Oh. Uh...
1593
01:10:43,970 --> 01:10:45,096
What do you think of Annie?
1594
01:10:45,430 --> 01:10:46,431
She's great.
1595
01:10:47,223 --> 01:10:50,518
I mean, she's cool, smart, kind, funny.
1596
01:10:50,602 --> 01:10:52,812
Awkward, but in a really
entertaining way.
1597
01:10:52,896 --> 01:10:56,274
- Is she here?
- Oh. No, no, no, but she will be. Right?
1598
01:10:56,357 --> 01:10:58,943
Uh, can you guys just,
like, talk for a sec?
1599
01:10:59,652 --> 01:11:00,653
- I know. I know.
- (LINE RINGING)
1600
01:11:05,116 --> 01:11:06,117
(BOTH SCREAM)
1601
01:11:06,201 --> 01:11:07,702
Oh, my God!
1602
01:11:08,077 --> 01:11:11,664
- You are tightly wound. Wow.
- Oh, my God.
1603
01:11:11,748 --> 01:11:12,999
(LAUGHING) I'm sorry.
1604
01:11:13,082 --> 01:11:15,502
- I didn't mean to scare you.
- That's okay. That's okay.
1605
01:11:15,585 --> 01:11:18,588
Your father and I
just worked up a real appetite tonight,
1606
01:11:18,671 --> 01:11:21,090
so I'm having a little ice cream.
You want some?
1607
01:11:21,174 --> 01:11:22,300
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
- Um...
1608
01:11:22,383 --> 01:11:23,593
Sorry.
1609
01:11:24,886 --> 01:11:25,887
Um...
1610
01:11:26,513 --> 01:11:28,014
Yeah, you know what,
I'll have some ice cream.
1611
01:11:28,097 --> 01:11:29,098
Great.
1612
01:11:29,182 --> 01:11:31,059
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- She's not answering.
1613
01:11:31,142 --> 01:11:33,311
Well, go get her
and drag her ass here. Okay?
1614
01:11:33,603 --> 01:11:35,355
- Okay.
- Come with me.
1615
01:11:35,438 --> 01:11:36,981
Ready for some sexy saxophone?
1616
01:11:37,065 --> 01:11:38,650
- She's back.
- STEPHANIE: Let's go.
1617
01:11:39,567 --> 01:11:41,486
Hey! I need to talk to you.
1618
01:11:41,778 --> 01:11:43,863
Tim, I cannot do this right now.
1619
01:11:43,947 --> 01:11:44,948
We have to go get...
1620
01:11:45,031 --> 01:11:46,866
Kayla, please.
1621
01:11:47,242 --> 01:11:48,535
It's cool. I got this.
1622
01:11:49,702 --> 01:11:50,954
Good luck.
1623
01:11:52,205 --> 01:11:53,832
I thought there was a party tonight.
1624
01:11:54,749 --> 01:11:56,251
- Not in the mood.
- Hmm.
1625
01:11:57,794 --> 01:11:59,170
Can I talk to you about something?
1626
01:11:59,254 --> 01:12:01,130
Should I be afraid of
what you're about to say?
1627
01:12:01,464 --> 01:12:04,217
- I can never tell. I just let it fly.
- (CHUCKLES)
1628
01:12:04,300 --> 01:12:06,970
Here's the thing.
I've noticed that you've been upset
1629
01:12:07,053 --> 01:12:09,264
and my son has also been upset.
1630
01:12:09,347 --> 01:12:12,851
And I wonder if you're both upset
about the same thing.
1631
01:12:16,896 --> 01:12:18,106
(ENGINE STARTS)
1632
01:12:22,193 --> 01:12:24,612
- SIRI: What can I help you with?
- Call Annie.
1633
01:12:24,779 --> 01:12:26,698
Here's what I found on the web for Fannie.
1634
01:12:26,781 --> 01:12:27,907
No, call Annie!
1635
01:12:27,991 --> 01:12:29,367
Calling Manny's Pizza.
1636
01:12:29,450 --> 01:12:31,619
- (SIGHS) No! Annie!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait!
1637
01:12:31,953 --> 01:12:33,204
- (SCREAMS)
- (TIRES SCREECH)
1638
01:12:34,330 --> 01:12:37,333
- (GASPS)
- (GRUNTS) Gonna feel that tomorrow.
1639
01:12:37,500 --> 01:12:38,960
- MAN: (OVER PHONE) Hello. Manny's Pizza.
- Oh, my God!
1640
01:12:39,335 --> 01:12:41,254
- Hello!
- Oliver?
1641
01:12:41,337 --> 01:12:43,423
- Oh, my God, please be okay.
- OLIVER: Hi.
1642
01:12:43,506 --> 01:12:44,799
What are you doing in front of my car?
1643
01:12:44,883 --> 01:12:46,092
I'm trying to stop you from leaving.
1644
01:12:46,551 --> 01:12:47,677
I mean, you're the only reason I came.
1645
01:12:48,136 --> 01:12:50,013
Oh, my God, that's actually really sweet.
1646
01:12:50,471 --> 01:12:52,849
- Um, I have to go get my friend now...
- Do you mind if I come with?
1647
01:12:52,932 --> 01:12:54,517
I mean, you did just
run me over with your car.
1648
01:12:55,351 --> 01:12:56,352
Uh...
1649
01:12:56,603 --> 01:12:58,104
Okay, cool. Yeah, come on, come on.
1650
01:12:58,188 --> 01:12:59,230
- (GROANS)
- Oh, shit.
1651
01:12:59,314 --> 01:13:00,899
I don't like the way
you left the other day.
1652
01:13:00,982 --> 01:13:02,233
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- KAYLA: Tough shit!
1653
01:13:02,317 --> 01:13:05,904
Okay, I've got feelings and emotions.
1654
01:13:06,196 --> 01:13:09,491
I'm a little jealous
and a bit of a handful.
1655
01:13:10,116 --> 01:13:16,873
But if you can't take me
at my making-a-scene-at-a-party-ness,
1656
01:13:16,956 --> 01:13:21,669
then you don't deserve me
at my fucking-you-in-the-library-ness.
1657
01:13:21,753 --> 01:13:22,795
(CHATTER DIES DOWN)
1658
01:13:22,879 --> 01:13:23,880
You're right.
1659
01:13:24,422 --> 01:13:25,715
Everything you said.
1660
01:13:26,257 --> 01:13:29,594
Truth is, I don't want you
violating my trust.
1661
01:13:30,470 --> 01:13:32,931
But I do want you.
1662
01:13:34,015 --> 01:13:36,392
You're my lobster.
1663
01:13:36,476 --> 01:13:38,061
- Holy shit. (CHUCKLING)
- That's right.
1664
01:13:38,561 --> 01:13:39,938
- "You're my lobster!"
- Yeah.
1665
01:13:40,647 --> 01:13:43,733
- I didn't think you were gonna say that.
- GIRL: Oh, yeah, Kayla!
1666
01:13:43,817 --> 01:13:45,068
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
1667
01:13:46,361 --> 01:13:49,614
- High school is the worst.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
1668
01:13:50,114 --> 01:13:52,909
It is. And you think
that it's never gonna end, but it does.
1669
01:13:52,992 --> 01:13:56,204
And when it does,
time starts to move a lot faster.
1670
01:13:56,287 --> 01:13:59,666
So when you know what you want,
you should go after it.
1671
01:13:59,999 --> 01:14:02,085
'Cause you might not get another chance.
1672
01:14:03,169 --> 01:14:04,170
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
1673
01:14:04,462 --> 01:14:05,839
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
1674
01:14:07,757 --> 01:14:09,759
Annie, get dressed. Grant is looking...
1675
01:14:09,843 --> 01:14:12,345
- Oh, Principal Fisher's here!
- In a bathrobe.
1676
01:14:12,428 --> 01:14:14,430
- Hi.
- Michelle, Oliver, is everything okay?
1677
01:14:15,181 --> 01:14:16,933
Oh. Yeah, I just didn't wanna
leave him in the car.
1678
01:14:17,016 --> 01:14:18,184
I have got a knee issue,
1679
01:14:18,268 --> 01:14:20,436
- but it's not as important as love.
- (CHUCKLES)
1680
01:14:21,104 --> 01:14:23,773
Um, Annie, Grant's at the party
and he's looking for you.
1681
01:14:23,857 --> 01:14:26,401
The whole pact is off.
We all know that he likes you.
1682
01:14:26,484 --> 01:14:28,820
- He does?
- Yeah, Annie, he does.
1683
01:14:28,903 --> 01:14:29,904
(CHUCKLES)
1684
01:14:29,988 --> 01:14:31,281
This is an incredible moment
and everything,
1685
01:14:31,364 --> 01:14:33,533
but Oliver is actually
much heavier than he looks.
1686
01:14:33,616 --> 01:14:34,951
I'm wiry but muscular.
1687
01:14:35,326 --> 01:14:36,494
- It's a family trait.
- Yeah.
1688
01:14:36,744 --> 01:14:37,745
Uh... (CHUCKLES)
1689
01:14:37,829 --> 01:14:42,750
Sorry, yeah, go wait in the car.
I guess I'll change and be right out.
1690
01:14:43,418 --> 01:14:45,795
I am so excited for you for tonight.
1691
01:14:45,879 --> 01:14:49,340
Now don't you be afraid to go after Grant
just because of me and your father.
1692
01:14:49,424 --> 01:14:51,759
We're not gonna
make you guys step-siblings.
1693
01:14:51,843 --> 01:14:53,720
We both know this thing has a shelf life.
1694
01:14:53,803 --> 01:14:55,763
Besides, he took
his last Viagra this morning.
1695
01:14:59,434 --> 01:15:02,187
I'm gonna go pretend I didn't hear that,
and I'll be right out, so...
1696
01:15:02,854 --> 01:15:04,063
Okay.
1697
01:15:04,147 --> 01:15:06,733
- (SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (SQUEALING) This is... This is so good,
1698
01:15:06,816 --> 01:15:07,984
and this is...
1699
01:15:08,067 --> 01:15:09,861
Wow, but, um you know,
1700
01:15:09,944 --> 01:15:12,780
uh, we have to actually
deal with some party stuff. Right? Yeah.
1701
01:15:12,864 --> 01:15:16,826
And so if you just wanna
stay there and just really soak it all in.
1702
01:15:17,744 --> 01:15:19,370
Let's just go, okay? Let's just...
1703
01:15:20,580 --> 01:15:21,748
EMMETT: Okay.
GRANT: Stay?
1704
01:15:25,502 --> 01:15:28,922
Okay. We keep Grant occupied with
his old man music until Annie gets here
1705
01:15:29,005 --> 01:15:31,007
and then boom,
big romantic moment. Got it? Great.
1706
01:15:31,090 --> 01:15:33,510
Hey, wait, wait.
I thought you liked Grant, so...
1707
01:15:33,593 --> 01:15:35,762
I just kind of liked the idea of him.
1708
01:15:35,845 --> 01:15:38,473
Look, Annie's my best friend,
and if she wants him, she gets him.
1709
01:15:39,140 --> 01:15:40,183
So maybe dating a nice guy
1710
01:15:40,266 --> 01:15:41,601
just isn't in the cards
for Stephanie Stifler.
1711
01:15:41,684 --> 01:15:44,521
Look, a queen bee walking around
like she owns the place.
1712
01:15:44,604 --> 01:15:47,649
Ooh, burn. Except I do own the place,
you fucking idiot.
1713
01:15:48,274 --> 01:15:50,109
Is this your stud for the night, Stifler?
1714
01:15:50,193 --> 01:15:51,694
I didn't think your standards
could fall any lower.
1715
01:15:52,445 --> 01:15:54,697
Well, I haven't slept with you yet,
so I got that going for me.
1716
01:15:54,781 --> 01:15:56,699
Yeah, whatever you wanna tell people.
1717
01:15:58,368 --> 01:16:01,454
McCormick, are you telling people
we hooked up?
1718
01:16:01,913 --> 01:16:03,414
I never said I don't kiss and tell.
1719
01:16:04,207 --> 01:16:05,500
- Fuck you.
- No, no.
1720
01:16:05,625 --> 01:16:07,585
Hey. You're being rude.
1721
01:16:07,669 --> 01:16:09,087
- Emmett, don't...
- No, no, no, it's okay.
1722
01:16:09,754 --> 01:16:12,882
You have five seconds to
apologize or I unleash hell.
1723
01:16:17,178 --> 01:16:18,179
Five!
1724
01:16:18,263 --> 01:16:19,264
- (McCORMICK GRUNTS)
- Emmett!
1725
01:16:19,973 --> 01:16:23,393
- Wow. He, uh, hit me with his face.
- GRANT: What the hell?
1726
01:16:23,601 --> 01:16:25,270
Grant, can you just watch him
for a sec? Thanks.
1727
01:16:25,353 --> 01:16:26,604
Hey, asshole!
1728
01:16:27,397 --> 01:16:28,565
I don't like bullies,
1729
01:16:28,648 --> 01:16:31,151
and I don't like misogynistic douchebags
drinking my liquor
1730
01:16:31,234 --> 01:16:32,902
and disrespecting me
in my own house.
1731
01:16:32,986 --> 01:16:34,821
- I don't like you, McCormick!
- (GRUNTS)
1732
01:16:35,238 --> 01:16:36,489
Yes, bitch!
1733
01:16:36,573 --> 01:16:37,740
(ALL CHEERING)
1734
01:16:37,824 --> 01:16:38,825
(GROANS)
1735
01:16:39,784 --> 01:16:41,327
But you know who I do like?
1736
01:16:43,121 --> 01:16:44,122
Ow.
1737
01:16:46,666 --> 01:16:47,667
STEPHANIE: Hey.
1738
01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:50,211
(ALL CHEERING)
1739
01:16:56,092 --> 01:16:57,677
EMMETT: You kissed me.
1740
01:16:58,178 --> 01:16:59,554
You stood up for me.
1741
01:16:59,888 --> 01:17:00,889
I mean, you were my wingman
1742
01:17:00,972 --> 01:17:02,807
even though you liked me
more than a wingman.
1743
01:17:03,641 --> 01:17:05,143
And you bought me a present.
1744
01:17:06,978 --> 01:17:08,438
I think I just won.
1745
01:17:19,782 --> 01:17:20,783
JASON: You Grant?
1746
01:17:22,660 --> 01:17:23,661
Do I know you?
1747
01:17:27,707 --> 01:17:28,708
(INAUDIBLE)
1748
01:17:35,298 --> 01:17:36,299
Oh, no.
1749
01:17:39,636 --> 01:17:41,095
What is he doing here?
1750
01:17:42,430 --> 01:17:43,932
JASON: Yeah, man,
so there you have it.
1751
01:17:44,015 --> 01:17:45,517
Now you kind of know the people
you're dealing with.
1752
01:17:45,934 --> 01:17:47,310
What the hell are you doing?
1753
01:17:47,894 --> 01:17:49,187
Oh. Uh...
1754
01:17:49,270 --> 01:17:51,940
I just thought your new boyfriend
should know the truth.
1755
01:17:52,524 --> 01:17:55,068
Annie, did you and your friends
make a bet about me?
1756
01:17:55,151 --> 01:17:56,152
ANNIE: It wasn't a bet.
1757
01:17:56,861 --> 01:17:58,696
- It was a pact.
- JASON: Oh, bullshit.
1758
01:17:58,988 --> 01:18:00,031
Okay, all of these little bitches
1759
01:18:00,114 --> 01:18:01,866
competed to see who could
have sex with you first.
1760
01:18:01,950 --> 01:18:03,618
Annie texted me about it every night.
1761
01:18:03,701 --> 01:18:05,578
- It's not what it sounds like.
- Really?
1762
01:18:05,662 --> 01:18:09,707
We made a pact to go after
what each of us were missing,
1763
01:18:09,791 --> 01:18:13,795
and without knowing it,
we all kind of decided it was you.
1764
01:18:16,256 --> 01:18:19,425
And what was your thing, your pact?
1765
01:18:20,468 --> 01:18:22,345
For my first time
to be with a man I love.
1766
01:18:23,429 --> 01:18:26,599
- So that's why you went to see him.
- JASON: Yeah.
1767
01:18:26,808 --> 01:18:29,144
She's only talking to you
because she caught me with another girl.
1768
01:18:29,435 --> 01:18:30,687
You're just the fallback guy.
1769
01:18:30,770 --> 01:18:34,107
But, lucky for you,
I'm not into high school drama,
1770
01:18:34,190 --> 01:18:36,442
so you want her, you can have her.
1771
01:18:37,360 --> 01:18:38,862
- You know what?
- Whoa.
1772
01:18:39,779 --> 01:18:41,322
Annie's not yours to give.
1773
01:18:41,406 --> 01:18:43,867
And you say one more
disparaging word about her,
1774
01:18:43,950 --> 01:18:46,161
this high school kid
is gonna kick your ass.
1775
01:18:46,494 --> 01:18:48,329
Just speaking my truth, bro.
1776
01:18:48,413 --> 01:18:49,914
If she liked you
as much as you thought she did,
1777
01:18:49,998 --> 01:18:53,084
would she be driving three hours
to have sex with me?
1778
01:18:53,168 --> 01:18:55,211
No. You're just a piece of meat.
1779
01:18:56,504 --> 01:18:57,547
Whoa! Hello!
1780
01:18:57,630 --> 01:18:59,465
- My uncle's an attorney. He almost hit me.
- Shut up.
1781
01:18:59,549 --> 01:19:00,550
STEPHANIE: No. Back. Break it up.
1782
01:19:00,633 --> 01:19:01,801
I hope you guys are really happy.
1783
01:19:01,885 --> 01:19:02,886
Look, Grant, we get that you're pissed...
1784
01:19:02,969 --> 01:19:05,388
No, don't...
You paid Emmett to get dirt on me.
1785
01:19:05,471 --> 01:19:06,472
Whoa. Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
1786
01:19:06,764 --> 01:19:07,765
Don't.
1787
01:19:08,474 --> 01:19:11,352
You know, every person
I liked in this town lied to me.
1788
01:19:12,270 --> 01:19:13,813
And the person I liked the most
1789
01:19:14,105 --> 01:19:16,065
- chose this guy.
- Grant.
1790
01:19:16,149 --> 01:19:18,985
- Enjoy the party.
- Please don't leave. Grant.
1791
01:19:26,284 --> 01:19:28,786
KAYLA: Why didn't you just tell us
what happened with Jason?
1792
01:19:28,870 --> 01:19:30,121
Yeah.
1793
01:19:30,205 --> 01:19:31,789
I didn't know how to.
1794
01:19:32,373 --> 01:19:34,375
You guys were all
so interested in Grant.
1795
01:19:34,918 --> 01:19:36,336
I didn't wanna mess it up for you.
1796
01:19:36,419 --> 01:19:38,379
Oh, my God. You should've just told us.
1797
01:19:38,463 --> 01:19:39,923
Yeah, that's all
we would've needed, Annie.
1798
01:19:40,006 --> 01:19:41,007
Yeah.
1799
01:19:41,090 --> 01:19:43,760
I mean, you know,
this is my fault for pushing the pact.
1800
01:19:43,843 --> 01:19:44,928
ALL: No.
1801
01:19:45,011 --> 01:19:48,223
No, Steph. The pact worked.
1802
01:19:48,306 --> 01:19:51,184
I mean, you found Emmett,
who's a nice guy.
1803
01:19:51,267 --> 01:19:52,894
- He is.
- ALL: Mmm-hmm.
1804
01:19:52,977 --> 01:19:54,020
(CHUCKLES)
1805
01:19:54,103 --> 01:19:56,564
And Kayla got Tim to compromise.
1806
01:19:56,648 --> 01:19:58,900
Oh, my God. You're right.
1807
01:20:00,109 --> 01:20:04,614
And, Michelle, are you as attracted
to Oliver's mind as you are to his body?
1808
01:20:04,697 --> 01:20:09,744
Oh, he turns me on in ways
that I can't even describe. (CHUCKLES)
1809
01:20:09,828 --> 01:20:11,454
See? It worked.
1810
01:20:12,247 --> 01:20:13,706
Yeah, for everyone but you.
1811
01:20:13,790 --> 01:20:15,166
No, it worked for me, too.
1812
01:20:16,543 --> 01:20:19,337
I went to Michigan State
with this image in my head,
1813
01:20:19,420 --> 01:20:24,467
and it all fell apart
because he was the wrong guy.
1814
01:20:25,009 --> 01:20:28,054
And that's big, so I'm glad we did it.
1815
01:20:28,930 --> 01:20:32,225
I mean, even if, you know,
I don't end up with Grant,
1816
01:20:32,308 --> 01:20:34,018
I'm better than I was.
1817
01:20:34,102 --> 01:20:35,103
Aw, come here.
1818
01:20:35,186 --> 01:20:36,437
- STEPHANIE: Aw.
- (MICHELLE CHUCKLES)
1819
01:20:36,771 --> 01:20:38,982
Little Virgin Annie.
1820
01:20:39,065 --> 01:20:41,568
- With the unshuckable oyster.
- Shut up.
1821
01:20:41,651 --> 01:20:44,821
- I want in. Unshuckable oyster.
- (LAUGHTER)
1822
01:20:44,904 --> 01:20:46,823
Get in here, Stifler.
1823
01:20:46,906 --> 01:20:48,616
- MICHELLE: Yeah, come on.
- (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
1824
01:20:48,700 --> 01:20:49,868
Say what
What?
1825
01:20:49,951 --> 01:20:50,952
Straight from the jump
1826
01:20:51,035 --> 01:20:52,537
Right on the tempo
Mix it all up
1827
01:20:52,620 --> 01:20:53,621
Say hey
Hey
1828
01:20:53,705 --> 01:20:54,747
{\an8}No time to wait
1829
01:20:54,831 --> 01:20:56,457
{\an8}Taking your move
to a different place
1830
01:20:56,541 --> 01:20:57,542
{\an8}Say hey
Hey
1831
01:20:57,625 --> 01:20:58,626
{\an8}Do what it takes
1832
01:20:58,710 --> 01:21:00,211
{\an8}Make like Tay 'n' shake
1833
01:21:00,295 --> 01:21:03,923
Get up and go, go, go, go
1834
01:21:04,007 --> 01:21:07,844
Get up and go, go, go, go
1835
01:21:07,927 --> 01:21:11,556
Get up and go, go, go, go
1836
01:21:11,806 --> 01:21:13,141
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1837
01:21:14,976 --> 01:21:17,228
- Light the fuse.
- Copy that.
1838
01:21:18,271 --> 01:21:20,773
Mama Bear, Papa Bear,
Operation Oyster is a go.
1839
01:21:31,534 --> 01:21:33,119
(MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE)
1840
01:21:43,922 --> 01:21:45,340
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
1841
01:21:54,474 --> 01:21:55,683
This guy.
1842
01:21:57,185 --> 01:21:58,311
Hey.
1843
01:21:58,978 --> 01:22:00,897
Annie's dad's outside with a limo.
1844
01:22:01,731 --> 01:22:04,818
- What is that?
- It's a onesie, you moron.
1845
01:22:04,901 --> 01:22:07,862
- For the pajama party.
- Why do you have it?
1846
01:22:07,946 --> 01:22:09,656
(SIGHS) Honey, you know
that I love you
1847
01:22:09,739 --> 01:22:11,491
and I'm always gonna
tell you the truth, right?
1848
01:22:12,242 --> 01:22:14,118
- I know.
- So the truth is,
1849
01:22:14,619 --> 01:22:18,581
it's time for you to stop moping
because, baby, you're a real downer.
1850
01:22:19,499 --> 01:22:22,126
Listen, happiness
doesn't just find us.
1851
01:22:22,210 --> 01:22:24,462
You gotta go and you gotta grab it.
1852
01:22:24,754 --> 01:22:25,797
Take this.
1853
01:22:27,006 --> 01:22:28,883
- Take this.
- Okay.
1854
01:22:29,884 --> 01:22:31,052
- I love you.
- What do I...
1855
01:22:31,135 --> 01:22:32,595
You'll figure it out. Or not.
1856
01:22:32,679 --> 01:22:34,597
I don't know.
I've done everything I can do.
1857
01:22:34,681 --> 01:22:36,099
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
1858
01:22:41,813 --> 01:22:42,814
Okay, this is your moment, Grant,
1859
01:22:42,897 --> 01:22:43,898
- and you're blowing it.
- Mmm-hmm.
1860
01:22:43,982 --> 01:22:46,192
But luckily, Annie has some
pretty awesome friends...
1861
01:22:46,276 --> 01:22:47,277
- Thank you.
- Oh, you're welcome.
1862
01:22:47,360 --> 01:22:49,279
...who are trying to save you
from this terrible mistake.
1863
01:22:49,612 --> 01:22:50,905
Plus, we think you're pretty great, too.
1864
01:22:50,989 --> 01:22:52,323
And we sent you
a really cool onesie, so...
1865
01:22:52,407 --> 01:22:53,741
Okay, just shut up!
1866
01:22:53,825 --> 01:22:54,868
Game time, Grant.
1867
01:22:54,951 --> 01:22:55,952
If you really like Annie,
1868
01:22:56,035 --> 01:22:57,537
put on that onesie
and get in that fucking limo.
1869
01:22:57,620 --> 01:22:58,621
- See you soon!
- If you don't do it...
1870
01:22:58,705 --> 01:22:59,706
Gladiator!
1871
01:22:59,789 --> 01:23:00,790
(VIDEO ENDS)
1872
01:23:07,964 --> 01:23:09,382
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
1873
01:23:10,216 --> 01:23:13,386
MAN: Hey, asshole!
Turn off the music!
1874
01:23:14,304 --> 01:23:15,305
(MUSIC STOPS)
1875
01:23:15,388 --> 01:23:16,389
(SIGHS)
1876
01:23:16,472 --> 01:23:17,807
(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
1877
01:23:17,891 --> 01:23:21,936
This day feels like
nothing but the right vibe
1878
01:23:22,020 --> 01:23:25,857
This could be the good life
Doesn't get better than...
1879
01:23:25,940 --> 01:23:28,568
- Hi, darling!
- Hi. (CHUCKLES)
1880
01:23:29,569 --> 01:23:30,612
Are you okay?
1881
01:23:31,404 --> 01:23:32,447
Not really.
1882
01:23:33,406 --> 01:23:35,074
I just realized you were right.
1883
01:23:35,241 --> 01:23:36,993
I've made sex too big a thing.
1884
01:23:37,952 --> 01:23:39,537
I tried to turn it into some...
1885
01:23:40,163 --> 01:23:42,665
It's for fairy tales. Stupid.
1886
01:23:42,749 --> 01:23:46,169
No. No, honestly I think you were right
about wanting it to be special.
1887
01:23:47,045 --> 01:23:49,547
Look, I never had
someone who gets me
1888
01:23:49,881 --> 01:23:51,508
and cares for me, you know, and...
1889
01:23:52,634 --> 01:23:54,344
But Emmett makes me feel
like that for the first time.
1890
01:23:55,470 --> 01:23:56,596
Stop. Stop it.
1891
01:23:56,679 --> 01:24:00,517
I mean, it's nice,
and I think tonight, we might, you know...
1892
01:24:01,726 --> 01:24:04,229
Steph, that's great.
1893
01:24:04,312 --> 01:24:05,772
Great? Doubtful.
1894
01:24:05,855 --> 01:24:07,148
(BOTH LAUGH)
1895
01:24:08,191 --> 01:24:10,610
Special, yeah. Yeah.
1896
01:24:10,693 --> 01:24:13,154
- Yeah. I'm happy for you.
- Thanks, babe.
1897
01:24:14,697 --> 01:24:15,698
STEPHANIE: Oh, shit.
1898
01:24:16,324 --> 01:24:18,409
- (SLOW POP SONG PLAYING)
- Are you ready?
1899
01:24:18,993 --> 01:24:21,204
- ANNIE: Uh, ready for what?
- Oh, you just wait, my darling.
1900
01:24:22,038 --> 01:24:23,373
You're scaring me. What is...
1901
01:24:23,456 --> 01:24:25,166
- Where are you...
- STEPHANIE: Just stay right there.
1902
01:24:26,417 --> 01:24:27,627
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1903
01:24:27,710 --> 01:24:29,295
We're young and in love
1904
01:24:30,129 --> 01:24:31,714
And we're running like the wind
1905
01:24:31,798 --> 01:24:33,216
We got it all
1906
01:24:35,718 --> 01:24:37,095
We're never alone
1907
01:24:37,178 --> 01:24:38,179
- (CHUCKLES) What?
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1908
01:24:38,263 --> 01:24:41,099
If we got each other
we can save the world
1909
01:24:43,893 --> 01:24:47,730
Explosions in the sky
1910
01:24:47,897 --> 01:24:51,109
I see colors fly
1911
01:24:52,485 --> 01:24:54,154
Old enough, old enough
1912
01:24:54,487 --> 01:24:57,198
Old enough to know that
we are young in love
1913
01:24:57,282 --> 01:25:00,160
Young in love
Young and in love
1914
01:25:00,493 --> 01:25:02,078
You and me, we can see
1915
01:25:02,495 --> 01:25:03,705
Time will stand still
1916
01:25:03,788 --> 01:25:05,373
If we stay young in love
1917
01:25:05,456 --> 01:25:08,168
Young in love
Young and in love
1918
01:25:08,793 --> 01:25:10,587
Yeah, we are young and in love
1919
01:25:10,670 --> 01:25:12,380
Yeah, we are young and in love
1920
01:25:12,589 --> 01:25:14,382
Yeah, we are young and in love
1921
01:25:14,841 --> 01:25:15,842
ANNIE: You made it.
1922
01:25:17,093 --> 01:25:18,469
You have some really great friends.
1923
01:25:19,929 --> 01:25:21,181
Seems like we both do.
1924
01:25:22,223 --> 01:25:23,600
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1925
01:25:23,892 --> 01:25:27,353
Old enough, old enough
Old enough to know that
1926
01:25:27,437 --> 01:25:28,605
We are young in love
1927
01:25:28,688 --> 01:25:31,399
Young in love
Young and in love
1928
01:25:31,816 --> 01:25:34,944
You and me, we can see
Time will stand still
1929
01:25:35,028 --> 01:25:37,697
If we stay young in love
Young in love
1930
01:25:37,780 --> 01:25:39,324
I guess that's my cue.
1931
01:25:39,824 --> 01:25:41,117
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1932
01:25:41,201 --> 01:25:43,328
Yeah, we are young and in love
1933
01:25:43,411 --> 01:25:45,330
Yeah, we are young and in love
1934
01:25:45,413 --> 01:25:47,290
Yeah, we are young and in love
1935
01:25:47,373 --> 01:25:49,417
Yeah, we are young and in love
1936
01:25:49,501 --> 01:25:51,169
Yeah, we are young and in love
1937
01:25:51,252 --> 01:25:53,254
Yeah, we are young and in love
1938
01:25:53,338 --> 01:25:55,089
Yeah, we are young and in love
1939
01:25:55,173 --> 01:25:57,217
Yeah, we are young and in love
1940
01:25:57,300 --> 01:25:58,301
- (SONG ENDS)
- LEAD SINGER: Ladies and gentlemen,
1941
01:25:58,384 --> 01:25:59,552
Annie and Grant.
1942
01:25:59,802 --> 01:26:00,803
(ALL CHEERING)
1943
01:26:00,887 --> 01:26:02,180
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
1944
01:26:05,517 --> 01:26:09,062
Well, she was an American girl
1945
01:26:10,063 --> 01:26:12,398
Raised on promises
1946
01:26:13,733 --> 01:26:16,569
She couldn't help thinking that there
1947
01:26:16,653 --> 01:26:20,949
Was a little more to life somewhere else
1948
01:26:21,699 --> 01:26:24,911
After all, it was a great, big world
1949
01:26:25,662 --> 01:26:28,331
With lots of places to run to
1950
01:26:29,415 --> 01:26:32,710
Yeah, and if she had to die trying
1951
01:26:32,836 --> 01:26:37,924
She had one little promise
she was gonna keep
1952
01:26:38,550 --> 01:26:41,803
Oh, yeah, all right
1953
01:26:42,303 --> 01:26:43,805
Take it easy, baby
1954
01:26:44,264 --> 01:26:45,515
Make it last all night
1955
01:26:46,683 --> 01:26:53,648
She was an American girl
1956
01:26:54,816 --> 01:26:57,861
- Oh, yeah, all right
- (ALL SINGING ALONG)
1957
01:26:58,570 --> 01:27:00,071
Take it easy, baby
1958
01:27:00,655 --> 01:27:02,115
Make it last all night
1959
01:27:03,032 --> 01:27:08,955
She was an American girl
1960
01:27:11,875 --> 01:27:13,334
- (SONG ENDS)
- (ALL CHEERING)
1961
01:27:14,210 --> 01:27:15,920
(CHUCKLING) What did you do?
1962
01:27:16,004 --> 01:27:17,755
- Mmm-hmm.
- Oh, God.
1963
01:27:19,340 --> 01:27:20,341
(MICHELLE LAUGHING)
1964
01:27:20,925 --> 01:27:22,093
- Okay.
- Okay, okay.
1965
01:27:22,177 --> 01:27:23,344
- Hey.
- Hey.
1966
01:27:23,428 --> 01:27:26,306
So, I... I guess they have
one more surprise for us.
1967
01:27:27,599 --> 01:27:28,600
Okay.
1968
01:27:28,975 --> 01:27:30,643
- KAYLA: Bye.
- Bye.
1969
01:27:30,935 --> 01:27:32,645
- (ANNIE CHUCKLES)
- What's happening right now?
1970
01:27:33,730 --> 01:27:35,190
(SLOW POP SONG PLAYING)
1971
01:27:36,357 --> 01:27:39,569
I've fallen too deep
1972
01:27:39,652 --> 01:27:40,904
Trying to swim
1973
01:27:40,987 --> 01:27:43,990
The current too steep
and it's pulling me in
1974
01:27:44,407 --> 01:27:46,367
I can breathe
1975
01:27:46,451 --> 01:27:50,955
Both hands around my heart
My heart
1976
01:27:51,039 --> 01:27:53,875
I can still feel the heat on your skin
1977
01:27:53,958 --> 01:27:57,295
My lips are begging to pull you in
1978
01:27:57,378 --> 01:27:58,963
I can breathe
1979
01:27:59,506 --> 01:28:03,510
Your hands around my heart
My heart
1980
01:28:03,593 --> 01:28:04,594
I'mma hold the door...
1981
01:28:04,677 --> 01:28:05,762
GRANT: What?
1982
01:28:06,137 --> 01:28:07,263
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1983
01:28:07,347 --> 01:28:12,727
For you there is no cure...
1984
01:28:14,604 --> 01:28:15,772
What are we, like...
1985
01:28:16,105 --> 01:28:17,106
Oh.
1986
01:28:17,482 --> 01:28:21,569
I made a pact, so I gotta stick to it.
1987
01:28:22,570 --> 01:28:24,155
You want your first time
to be with me?
1988
01:28:24,489 --> 01:28:27,909
Yeah. And the next few, I think.
1989
01:28:37,794 --> 01:28:41,673
Hey. This feels special to me.
1990
01:28:43,216 --> 01:28:44,467
Me, too, Annie.
1991
01:28:48,054 --> 01:28:51,307
Oliver, I wanna share
something with you,
1992
01:28:51,850 --> 01:28:53,476
something that I've never
shared with anyone else.
1993
01:28:54,894 --> 01:28:55,895
Oh.
1994
01:28:56,187 --> 01:28:57,397
You want me to use that on you?
1995
01:28:59,065 --> 01:29:00,275
On me?
1996
01:29:02,026 --> 01:29:04,529
And I want you right here, right now.
1997
01:29:05,196 --> 01:29:06,322
On Principal Fisher's desk?
1998
01:29:06,447 --> 01:29:08,575
- Yes, on her desk! Get up there!
- Okay. Okay.
1999
01:29:08,741 --> 01:29:10,118
And I know you know what I want.
2000
01:29:10,201 --> 01:29:14,247
You mean, "A man may die,
nations may rise and fall,
2001
01:29:14,330 --> 01:29:16,207
- "but an idea lives on!"
- Yes.
2002
01:29:16,291 --> 01:29:18,042
- Yes!
- (POP SONG PLAYING)
2003
01:29:18,334 --> 01:29:20,795
And we dared to go
2004
01:29:22,088 --> 01:29:23,965
A lover's bane
2005
01:29:24,299 --> 01:29:26,217
Forever will remain...
2006
01:29:26,301 --> 01:29:27,427
(MOANING)
2007
01:29:27,510 --> 01:29:29,012
Amazing. Shit.
2008
01:29:29,345 --> 01:29:31,973
(MOANING) Wow. Shit!
2009
01:29:32,390 --> 01:29:33,516
(MOANS)
2010
01:29:34,350 --> 01:29:36,478
Thanks. Learned that at band camp.
2011
01:29:36,561 --> 01:29:37,937
Yeah, I don't need to know that.
2012
01:29:38,021 --> 01:29:40,482
Kiss me now. Okay?
2013
01:29:41,232 --> 01:29:42,400
STEPHANIE: Now.
2014
01:29:45,612 --> 01:29:46,821
Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
2015
01:29:46,905 --> 01:29:49,282
- I need to tell you something.
- What?
2016
01:29:49,365 --> 01:29:50,867
I've... I've never done it.
2017
01:29:51,367 --> 01:29:52,368
Me neither.
2018
01:29:53,495 --> 01:29:55,663
I mean, I've never had it
with someone special, you know?
2019
01:29:57,248 --> 01:29:58,249
(PANTING)
2020
01:30:03,087 --> 01:30:04,255
{\an8}Oh.
2021
01:30:04,714 --> 01:30:05,882
{\an8}MICHELLE: Yes!
2022
01:30:05,965 --> 01:30:07,008
Yeah?
2023
01:30:07,091 --> 01:30:08,259
(MOANING LOUDLY)
2024
01:30:09,219 --> 01:30:10,970
KAYLA: You like this?
TIM: Oh. Yeah.
2025
01:30:11,054 --> 01:30:12,096
KAYLA: This is hot.
TIM: Yeah.
2026
01:30:12,180 --> 01:30:13,264
- Dangerous.
- Yeah.
2027
01:30:14,140 --> 01:30:17,477
A little unsanitary, but, yeah.
2028
01:30:17,560 --> 01:30:19,187
I like it here. I like you.
2029
01:30:19,270 --> 01:30:20,313
I love you.
2030
01:30:20,396 --> 01:30:24,234
You are my queen!
2031
01:30:24,317 --> 01:30:27,237
- (MOANING LOUDLY)
- I am your queen!
2032
01:30:27,320 --> 01:30:28,321
- KAYLA: Whoo!
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
2033
01:30:28,404 --> 01:30:29,781
Ahoo
2034
01:30:29,864 --> 01:30:31,908
Stars are falling
2035
01:30:32,033 --> 01:30:35,495
Are we falling, too?
2036
01:30:35,578 --> 01:30:40,041
Ahoo, dawn is coming
2037
01:30:40,250 --> 01:30:43,670
What's this coming to?
2038
01:30:43,753 --> 01:30:47,674
On a night like this
2039
01:30:47,924 --> 01:30:51,427
On a night like this...
2040
01:30:51,553 --> 01:30:52,595
(MOANING SOFTLY)
2041
01:30:53,179 --> 01:30:55,557
- There's something else.
- What?
2042
01:30:58,351 --> 01:30:59,602
Oh. Oh.
2043
01:30:59,686 --> 01:31:01,020
No, don't worry if...
2044
01:31:01,104 --> 01:31:04,482
Look, whatever's going down,
down there we'll make it work. Okay?
2045
01:31:04,774 --> 01:31:06,109
- Yeah?
- I promise.
2046
01:31:06,860 --> 01:31:08,278
- Okay.
- Okay.
2047
01:31:08,653 --> 01:31:09,654
(UNZIPS PANTS)
2048
01:31:14,200 --> 01:31:15,201
Wow.
2049
01:31:15,285 --> 01:31:17,328
(CHUCKLES) Is your dad a giant?
2050
01:31:17,412 --> 01:31:18,705
Like, will it fit?
2051
01:31:18,872 --> 01:31:20,165
Here's to hoping. (CHUCKLES)
2052
01:31:20,373 --> 01:31:21,374
(MOANING)
2053
01:31:21,457 --> 01:31:23,168
Oh, you're my president.
2054
01:31:23,835 --> 01:31:25,086
- You'll always be my president.
- (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
2055
01:31:25,253 --> 01:31:27,380
Ahoo
2056
01:31:27,463 --> 01:31:29,507
Stars are falling
2057
01:31:29,591 --> 01:31:32,802
Are we falling too?
2058
01:31:33,261 --> 01:31:36,723
On a night like this
2059
01:31:37,265 --> 01:31:41,060
On a night like this
2060
01:31:41,561 --> 01:31:45,523
Ahoo
2061
01:31:50,987 --> 01:31:52,071
(SONG ENDS)
2062
01:31:53,448 --> 01:31:55,116
{\an8}(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
2063
01:32:04,292 --> 01:32:05,960
{\an8}(CROWD WHOOPING AND CHEERING)
2064
01:35:05,765 --> 01:35:07,225
(MAN YELLS)
2065
01:35:07,308 --> 01:35:08,518
- (WHIP CRACKING)
- (MUFFLED GRUNT)
2066
01:35:08,601 --> 01:35:10,228
Say you want this
on your permanent record.
2067
01:35:10,311 --> 01:35:11,938
(MUFFLED) I want this
on my permanent record.
2068
01:35:12,021 --> 01:35:13,189
- Yeah, you do.
- (GROANS)
2069
01:35:13,273 --> 01:35:14,357
What's going on? Oh.
2070
01:35:14,649 --> 01:35:17,443
Hey, Janitor Steve.
We'll just be a minute.
2071
01:35:17,527 --> 01:35:18,736
(MUFFLED) Hi, Janitor Steve.
2072
01:35:20,822 --> 01:35:22,240
I'm gonna need a bigger mop.
2073
01:35:24,325 --> 01:35:25,618
- (KEVIN GROANS)
- ELLEN: Don't touch me!
2074
01:35:26,121 --> 01:35:30,796
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org