1
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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org

2
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I'm gonna miss you so much.

3
00:00:29,047 --> 00:00:31,716
Well, you'll come and visit me
and, uh, I'll call.

4
00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:34,219
- I love you so much.
- Oh, me, too.

5
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Still some packing to do.

6
00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:41,726
Got a big day tomorrow.

7
00:00:41,810 --> 00:00:44,395
- Okay, Mom. I'm coming.
- Early start and a long drive.

8
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:45,480
Goodbye.

9
00:00:45,563 --> 00:00:47,148
- Bye, Mrs. Sawyer.
- Bye.

10
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- She hates me.
- No she doesn't.

11
00:00:48,775 --> 00:00:51,486
- She doesn't.
- No, she really, really does.

12
00:00:51,569 --> 00:00:52,821
But I love you. Okay?

13
00:00:53,279 --> 00:00:57,075
I... I gotta go.
I'll call you when I get there.

14
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:58,451
Call me from the road.

15
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Okay, it's a three-hour drive
to Michigan State.

16
00:01:00,787 --> 00:01:03,163
We're gonna be okay.
I'll see you soon.

17
00:01:03,247 --> 00:01:05,375
- Okay. Mmm-hmm.
- Promise.

18
00:01:09,128 --> 00:01:10,964
You bet your ass you will.

19
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<i>Sittin' here
eatin' my heart out, waitin'</i>

20
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{\an8}<i>Waitin' for some lover to call</i>

21
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{\an8}<i>Dialed about a thousand numbers lately</i>

22
00:01:41,411 --> 00:01:43,621
{\an8}<i>Almost rang the phone off the wall</i>

23
00:01:44,956 --> 00:01:48,626
{\an8}<i>Lookin' for a lover who needs another</i>

24
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{\an8}<i>Don't want another night on my own</i>

25
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<i>Wanna share my love
with a warm-blooded lover</i>

26
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{\an8}<i>Wanna bring a wild man back home</i>

27
00:02:00,930 --> 00:02:01,931
{\an8}Oh, shit.

28
00:02:02,015 --> 00:02:03,808
{\an8}<i>Gotta have some hot love
baby, this evenin'</i>

29
00:02:03,892 --> 00:02:07,436
{\an8}<i>I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight</i>

30
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:12,609
{\an8}<i>I want some hot stuff, baby, this evenin'</i>

31
00:02:12,692 --> 00:02:14,986
{\an8}<i>Gotta have some lovin'</i>

32
00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:17,405
{\an8}<i>Gotta have some love tonight</i>

33
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<i>Hot stuff</i>

34
00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:22,076
Oh, no.

35
00:02:23,703 --> 00:02:27,081
Oh. Yeah, I'm bare back there. Okay.

36
00:02:29,751 --> 00:02:30,752
Shit.

37
00:02:34,964 --> 00:02:36,090
{\an8}Oh, god damn it. God damn it.

38
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{\an8}<i>I need hot stuff</i>

39
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{\an8}Hello?

40
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{\an8}<i>I want some hot stuff
That's right</i>

41
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{\an8}Hello?

42
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:08,248
{\an8}Yeah. Okay. Here we go.

43
00:03:14,379 --> 00:03:15,630
{\an8}Oh...

44
00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:28,434
{\an8}Oh, yeah.

45
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{\an8}<i>Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff</i>

46
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,357
{\an8}<i>Hot, hot, hot</i>

47
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:37,485
{\an8}Oh, shit.

48
00:03:37,569 --> 00:03:40,280
{\an8}<i>Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff</i>

49
00:03:40,363 --> 00:03:43,324
{\an8}<i>Hot, hot, hot</i>

50
00:03:43,408 --> 00:03:48,163
{\an8}<i>How's about some hot stuff
baby, this evenin'?</i>

51
00:03:48,246 --> 00:03:50,248
{\an8}<i>Ooh, I need your loving</i>

52
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,584
{\an8}<i>Gotta have your hot stuff tonight</i>

53
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:53,960
{\an8}<i>Hot stuff</i>

54
00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,049
- Annie?
- Hi.

55
00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:01,134
Oh!

56
00:04:01,217 --> 00:04:02,218
<i>Hot stuff</i>

57
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,179
<i>Oh, yes!</i>

58
00:04:04,304 --> 00:04:05,305
<i>Oh...</i>

59
00:04:08,641 --> 00:04:11,311
Patricia! I'm dying for
a piece of that pie, hon.

60
00:04:14,647 --> 00:04:16,273
- Surprise.
- What are you doin'?

61
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,610
You leave for college tomorrow
and I wanted to give you

62
00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,737
a night to remember.

63
00:04:21,946 --> 00:04:23,156
- Sex.
- Oh.

64
00:04:23,239 --> 00:04:24,657
- I want to give you sex.
- Sure. Yeah.

65
00:04:24,782 --> 00:04:26,701
- Sex with me, tonight, now.
- Yeah. Yeah, okay.

66
00:04:26,784 --> 00:04:28,119
Cool. I just...

67
00:04:28,203 --> 00:04:29,662
I thought you didn't want to.

68
00:04:29,746 --> 00:04:32,081
Oh, of course I want to.

69
00:04:32,165 --> 00:04:34,375
- I just want it to be special.
- Yeah.

70
00:04:34,459 --> 00:04:36,503
- And romantic. And perfect.
- Right. Yeah.

71
00:04:36,586 --> 00:04:39,255
I love you
and I wanna lose my virginity to you.

72
00:04:39,339 --> 00:04:41,424
Oh, that's... That's so nice.

73
00:04:41,508 --> 00:04:43,218
- That is a Christmas card.
- That's what I said.

74
00:04:43,301 --> 00:04:46,596
- I'm gonna take a picture.
- My parents would love to see his face.

75
00:04:47,096 --> 00:04:48,181
You wanna do the thing?

76
00:04:48,598 --> 00:04:50,183
Guess what I'm wearing under my coat.

77
00:04:50,266 --> 00:04:52,811
Oh, I'm so ready. I'm so ready.

78
00:04:53,436 --> 00:04:55,438
Oh, my... Oh, what... Uh...

79
00:04:55,522 --> 00:04:56,648
That's not what I wanted.

80
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:58,024
Wow, what a beautiful pie.

81
00:04:58,107 --> 00:04:59,442
- <i>Hi.</i>
- <i>Hello.</i>

82
00:04:59,526 --> 00:05:00,610
Who the hell is it?

83
00:05:00,693 --> 00:05:01,986
<i>It's me, Daddy.</i>

84
00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:05,114
- You're on a video chat. Yeah.
- It's a video chat.

85
00:05:05,198 --> 00:05:07,033
What're you doing on TV?

86
00:05:07,116 --> 00:05:08,743
- Maybe you need, like, a doctor?
- No. No.

87
00:05:08,827 --> 00:05:10,453
- Need some ointment or something... Oh.
- Shut up.

88
00:05:10,537 --> 00:05:12,622
Let's go upstairs
and see your grandson, huh?

89
00:05:12,705 --> 00:05:15,208
- We made this pie for him.
- Yeah. It's really hot.

90
00:05:15,291 --> 00:05:16,501
She did
such a good job.

91
00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:17,919
- <i>Where are you?</i>
- <i>I'm right here.</i>

92
00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:20,088
<i>No, not you.
I'm talking to them.</i>

93
00:05:20,171 --> 00:05:22,173
We're going upstairs, Mom.

94
00:05:22,257 --> 00:05:24,467
And Jason's gonna be surprised.

95
00:05:25,218 --> 00:05:27,220
- Just wait.
- Just wait.

96
00:05:27,303 --> 00:05:30,431
- <i>Who's Jason?</i>
- <i>Jason's your grandson, honey.</i>

97
00:05:30,515 --> 00:05:32,475
<i>What channel is this?</i>

98
00:05:33,101 --> 00:05:34,102
Hmm.

99
00:05:34,185 --> 00:05:35,770
Oh! What is that?

100
00:05:36,938 --> 00:05:38,982
{\an8}What?

101
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,945
Uh-huh. Sure. Okay. Yeah.

102
00:05:46,698 --> 00:05:47,991
Honey.

103
00:05:48,074 --> 00:05:49,909
We have a surprise for you.

104
00:05:52,245 --> 00:05:54,122
- Jason?
- Jason.

105
00:05:54,205 --> 00:05:59,127
<i>Girl's got a prophylactic
in her mouth.</i>

106
00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:02,213
Hold on, Mom. I'm not dressed.

107
00:06:04,090 --> 00:06:06,092
Are you choking on the...

108
00:06:06,176 --> 00:06:08,094
Jason Sawyer, open this door!

109
00:06:08,178 --> 00:06:11,055
Sorry, Mom,
I got a charley horse in my leg.

110
00:06:11,139 --> 00:06:12,348
Can you bring me the banana

111
00:06:12,432 --> 00:06:13,808
for the potassium?

112
00:06:16,311 --> 00:06:17,395
Okay.

113
00:06:17,479 --> 00:06:18,855
I love you very much.

114
00:06:18,938 --> 00:06:20,356
But, uh, you gotta go.

115
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:21,441
Okay. Bye.

116
00:06:30,158 --> 00:06:31,993
- Jason Sawyer!
- Sorry, Mom.

117
00:06:32,076 --> 00:06:33,953
That damned charley horse.

118
00:06:34,996 --> 00:06:39,876
Meemaw and Peepaw saw your penis.

119
00:07:03,233 --> 00:07:04,984
No. Not yet. Ow!

120
00:07:05,318 --> 00:07:06,820
You're so smart and gorgeous.

121
00:07:06,903 --> 00:07:08,822
- Now?
- Not yet. I'll tell you when.

122
00:07:08,905 --> 00:07:09,906
Just a little higher.

123
00:07:09,989 --> 00:07:12,450
- You're my princess.
- Rub softer but faster.

124
00:07:12,534 --> 00:07:14,661
Smash that pussy now! Now!

125
00:07:14,744 --> 00:07:16,830
I cherish you. I cherish you.

126
00:07:25,547 --> 00:07:27,298
- Fuck yeah.
- Yeah.

127
00:07:27,382 --> 00:07:30,677
We are the greatest couple ever.

128
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,137
No one has sex like we do.

129
00:07:33,221 --> 00:07:38,476
I mean, I've never had sex like this,
but you're my first, so I don't know.

130
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:39,561
Hey.

131
00:07:39,644 --> 00:07:43,314
I showed you that you're in my
lobster poems I wrote about you, right?

132
00:07:43,398 --> 00:07:46,609
Yeah, but, like, how amazing?

133
00:07:46,693 --> 00:07:49,070
Like, oh, I don't know...

134
00:07:49,154 --> 00:07:51,030
Better than the other girls?

135
00:07:52,365 --> 00:07:54,284
You're doing it again.

136
00:07:54,951 --> 00:07:57,453
I'm not jealous. I'm just asking.

137
00:07:57,537 --> 00:08:01,416
Yeah. It starts with asking
and then you spiral.

138
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,754
Are you filming us?

139
00:08:07,881 --> 00:08:10,383
You little shit!
That is a total violation.

140
00:08:10,466 --> 00:08:11,509
Not cool, Keenan.

141
00:08:11,593 --> 00:08:16,347
You respect my boundaries,
you little shit!

142
00:08:16,431 --> 00:08:21,186
Get back here! Give me that phone!

143
00:08:21,269 --> 00:08:24,647
You will learn
about emotional intelligence.

144
00:08:25,648 --> 00:08:29,652
Delete that video!
The framing isn't even good!

145
00:08:32,822 --> 00:08:34,908
Again? Really?

146
00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:39,579
- Kayla!
- Oops. Sorry. Love you.

147
00:08:39,662 --> 00:08:41,372
Who the fuck is Monica?

148
00:08:44,459 --> 00:08:47,462
<i>I do not shrink
from this responsibility.</i>

149
00:08:47,545 --> 00:08:48,796
<i>I welcome it.</i>

150
00:08:51,674 --> 00:08:54,469
<i>I do not believe that any of us...</i>

151
00:08:55,887 --> 00:08:59,182
<i>The energy, the faith, the devotion...</i>

152
00:08:59,265 --> 00:09:01,476
- Here we go.
- <i>...which we bring to this endeavor...</i>

153
00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:03,937
- Oh, yeah.
- <i>...will light our country and all...</i>

154
00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:05,271
Bring it home now.

155
00:09:05,355 --> 00:09:09,776
{\an8}<i>And the glow from that fire
can truly light the world.</i>

156
00:09:09,859 --> 00:09:11,778
<i>And so, my fellow Americans,</i>

157
00:09:11,861 --> 00:09:15,990
<i>ask not what your country
can do for you...</i>

158
00:09:17,158 --> 00:09:19,786
<i>...ask what you can do for your country.</i>

159
00:09:19,869 --> 00:09:22,956
<i>You can ring my bell</i>

160
00:09:23,039 --> 00:09:25,208
<i>Ring my bell</i>

161
00:09:26,501 --> 00:09:28,670
<i>You can ring my bell</i>

162
00:09:32,632 --> 00:09:35,051
- Principal Shankman.
- Stephanie.

163
00:09:36,177 --> 00:09:37,178
Whoo!

164
00:09:37,262 --> 00:09:39,138
Been waitin' for you.

165
00:09:39,973 --> 00:09:41,391
That outfit's amazing.

166
00:09:41,474 --> 00:09:44,477
I'm glad you reconsidered,
decided to take me up on my offer.

167
00:09:44,561 --> 00:09:46,896
- Strip, slave.
- Kinky.

168
00:09:47,313 --> 00:09:49,232
- You like that?
- I like it. I like it.

169
00:09:49,315 --> 00:09:51,317
- Are you excited?
- Oh, yes, Mistress.

170
00:09:51,734 --> 00:09:53,528
- Handcuffs.
- Handcuffs, yeah.

171
00:09:54,821 --> 00:09:56,906
- Is that a whip?
- Yes, it is.

172
00:10:01,452 --> 00:10:03,121
- See, it's an app.
- Oh.

173
00:10:03,204 --> 00:10:05,165
- It's for S and M freaks like you.
- I like it.

174
00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:06,249
I don't really understand it but...

175
00:10:06,332 --> 00:10:07,792
Yeah, 'cause you're fucking stupid.

176
00:10:07,876 --> 00:10:09,669
You know, can you do
the mommy thing again?

177
00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:11,796
The kids at school are gonna love that.

178
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,298
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
Are you filming me?

179
00:10:13,381 --> 00:10:16,384
Fuck, yeah. See, I've had it with you,
Principal Shankman,

180
00:10:16,467 --> 00:10:19,053
hitting on me and the other girls.
It's gross.

181
00:10:19,137 --> 00:10:22,098
And I really don't want your pervy,
sexual harassing ass around

182
00:10:22,182 --> 00:10:23,349
for my senior year, so...

183
00:10:23,683 --> 00:10:25,351
Welcome to your retirement party.

184
00:10:25,435 --> 00:10:26,978
Young lady, take the handcuffs off.

185
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,480
Oh, no, no, no.

186
00:10:28,563 --> 00:10:30,940
See, I'm in charge now,
you creepy fuck.

187
00:10:31,024 --> 00:10:32,901
Retire or this video goes viral.

188
00:10:33,485 --> 00:10:35,653
So, take the weekend,
think about what you've done.

189
00:10:35,737 --> 00:10:38,448
And I hope this teaches you
a very valuable lesson.

190
00:10:39,449 --> 00:10:42,368
Never, ever fuck with a Stifler.

191
00:10:46,623 --> 00:10:47,832
- Stephanie!
- Bye!

192
00:10:47,916 --> 00:10:50,293
Stifler! Stifler!

193
00:10:51,252 --> 00:10:52,378
You're in big trouble.

194
00:10:53,546 --> 00:10:54,547
I'm in bigger trouble.

195
00:10:55,131 --> 00:10:56,799
Are you
fucking kidding me?

196
00:10:56,883 --> 00:11:00,094
You choked on a blowjob condom
and you don't even get slammed?

197
00:11:00,178 --> 00:11:01,971
It's called a dental dam.

198
00:11:02,055 --> 00:11:03,223
Why does no one know this?

199
00:11:03,306 --> 00:11:05,475
Okay. So you use
a dental dam for safety,

200
00:11:05,558 --> 00:11:08,520
but you still fell out of a window
and you did not get laid.

201
00:11:08,603 --> 00:11:10,313
Yeah, I get it. I messed up.

202
00:11:10,396 --> 00:11:12,190
I'm sorry if I wanted my first time

203
00:11:12,273 --> 00:11:14,609
to be both safe and beautiful, okay?

204
00:11:14,692 --> 00:11:16,694
- Come on.
- Sex isn't supposed to be beautiful.

205
00:11:16,778 --> 00:11:19,572
It's supposed to be hot
and dirty and hungry!

206
00:11:19,656 --> 00:11:21,825
I am going to do it
and it is going to be beautiful, okay.

207
00:11:21,908 --> 00:11:23,701
Tough love time, Annie.
Your boyfriend's a total bro-bag.

208
00:11:23,785 --> 00:11:25,703
- Yeah.
- Jason is not a bro-bag.

209
00:11:25,787 --> 00:11:28,540
I didn't wanna say it,
but he is the basic of all bros.

210
00:11:28,623 --> 00:11:29,624
- I'm sorry.
- Guys!

211
00:11:29,707 --> 00:11:32,293
We're supposed to be having fun
and fuckin' celebrating our youth!

212
00:11:32,377 --> 00:11:34,671
Senior year, bitches!

213
00:11:37,507 --> 00:11:39,634
Back to school party!

214
00:11:52,272 --> 00:11:54,649
Students of East Great Falls!

215
00:11:54,732 --> 00:11:57,485
Welcome to the annual
Back To School Party!

216
00:12:01,573 --> 00:12:05,618
And on Monday we go back to the bullshit
banality of high school life.

217
00:12:05,702 --> 00:12:07,370
But today, the sun is out!

218
00:12:07,453 --> 00:12:09,247
The booze is flowing!

219
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:13,126
And we're teenagers
prone to bad decisions!

220
00:12:13,668 --> 00:12:15,670
Yeah!

221
00:12:27,098 --> 00:12:28,933
Ah! Drink it down!

222
00:12:32,187 --> 00:12:33,438
East Great Falls!

223
00:12:36,816 --> 00:12:38,651
Hey, girl.

224
00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:42,197
What's good, Stifler?

225
00:12:43,823 --> 00:12:44,908
Brett McCormick.

226
00:12:44,991 --> 00:12:46,868
At a party and still conscious.
Good for you.

227
00:12:46,951 --> 00:12:48,244
You know, Stifler, I hear things.

228
00:12:48,328 --> 00:12:50,997
You've got the reputation
of being the bang of the century.

229
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,999
Feels like I'm missing out.

230
00:12:53,082 --> 00:12:54,876
You know, that's a real
panty-dropper, McCormick.

231
00:12:54,959 --> 00:12:56,252
I'll tell you what.

232
00:12:56,336 --> 00:12:58,421
Not today. Not tomorrow.

233
00:12:58,505 --> 00:12:59,714
Not if you were the last man on Earth.

234
00:12:59,797 --> 00:13:02,050
Not if I even loved
the reek of Axe body spray.

235
00:13:02,133 --> 00:13:04,385
Not if I didn't already know
you have a itty-bitty little dick.

236
00:13:04,469 --> 00:13:06,054
- That's not...
- No, see, I hear things, too.

237
00:13:06,137 --> 00:13:08,806
So don't try to be clever.
That would just be really bad for you.

238
00:13:08,890 --> 00:13:11,476
Just don't throw up anywhere
or do any nonconsensual groping.

239
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:12,852
That's your job for today.

240
00:13:13,394 --> 00:13:14,395
I believe in you.

241
00:13:17,649 --> 00:13:19,275
They're my feelings.

242
00:13:19,359 --> 00:13:21,486
You're being ridiculous! Okay?

243
00:13:22,445 --> 00:13:23,655
You hacked my phone.

244
00:13:23,738 --> 00:13:26,783
Okay, so I hacked my boyfriend's phone.

245
00:13:26,866 --> 00:13:28,701
Everybody does it, by the way.

246
00:13:28,785 --> 00:13:30,662
Am I right, ladies? Yes, okay?

247
00:13:30,745 --> 00:13:33,039
And I see some thirsty bitch
hitting on you.

248
00:13:33,456 --> 00:13:36,417
For the last time,
that thirsty bitch is my cousin.

249
00:13:36,501 --> 00:13:38,419
Are you telling me
people don't fuck their cousins?

250
00:13:38,503 --> 00:13:41,464
Because it happens.
Their kids have tails.

251
00:13:41,548 --> 00:13:44,008
And she asked if
you've been working out?

252
00:13:44,092 --> 00:13:46,094
Because she's my physical therapist.

253
00:13:46,177 --> 00:13:47,929
She helped me
when I blew out my knee last year.

254
00:13:48,012 --> 00:13:49,848
Wait. I vaguely remember this.

255
00:13:49,931 --> 00:13:53,351
Yeah, and you texted her
and you told her I have an STD!

256
00:13:53,434 --> 00:13:55,270
Yeah, I wanted her
to stay away from you.

257
00:13:55,353 --> 00:13:58,773
Yeah, well, she called my mom
and now my mom thinks I have syphilis.

258
00:13:58,857 --> 00:14:00,900
Well, she's gonna
be so relieved

259
00:14:00,984 --> 00:14:03,278
when she finds out you don't. Okay?

260
00:14:03,361 --> 00:14:05,530
You know, that can lead to
madness if not treated.

261
00:14:05,613 --> 00:14:06,614
Kayla!

262
00:14:06,698 --> 00:14:07,782
I'm breaking up with you.

263
00:14:08,491 --> 00:14:10,952
Tim. I love you.

264
00:14:15,123 --> 00:14:16,457
Is this a joke?

265
00:14:16,541 --> 00:14:18,668
We're in love, stupid!

266
00:14:18,751 --> 00:14:21,462
Hey, sweetie. You... You okay?

267
00:14:21,546 --> 00:14:22,672
Oh, that?

268
00:14:22,755 --> 00:14:25,675
Yeah. We just break up
so that we can make up.

269
00:14:25,758 --> 00:14:27,218
Yeah, it's just a little speed bump.

270
00:14:27,302 --> 00:14:29,095
Oh! You guys wanna go get fucked up?

271
00:14:29,179 --> 00:14:30,263
Let's go.

272
00:14:30,346 --> 00:14:32,765
- Oh.
- Okay. Whatever you want.

273
00:14:32,849 --> 00:14:34,350
That's concerning.

274
00:14:34,434 --> 00:14:35,518
Tequila!

275
00:14:39,397 --> 00:14:41,191
- <i>Hey, hey!</i>
- Hey!

276
00:14:41,274 --> 00:14:42,775
<i>Annie, what's... What's up?</i>

277
00:14:42,859 --> 00:14:46,738
I'm at this stupid party
and I was just missing you.

278
00:14:46,821 --> 00:14:48,865
Oh, okay.

279
00:14:49,115 --> 00:14:50,158
<i>That's good.</i>

280
00:14:50,241 --> 00:14:51,826
That's real good.

281
00:14:52,202 --> 00:14:54,621
In my mouth next time. Okay.

282
00:14:56,039 --> 00:14:57,040
Whoa!

283
00:14:57,123 --> 00:14:59,209
<i>I gotta go. I'll talk to you later.</i>

284
00:14:59,292 --> 00:15:01,044
Oh, okay. Well, I love...

285
00:15:02,504 --> 00:15:03,505
You.

286
00:15:04,923 --> 00:15:06,299
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm there.

287
00:15:10,303 --> 00:15:12,138
Oh, you might wanna... Okay.

288
00:15:14,182 --> 00:15:15,391
How we doin'?

289
00:15:15,475 --> 00:15:18,895
My sex-starved boyfriend
is surrounded by a bunch of college thots,

290
00:15:18,978 --> 00:15:21,898
and I'm the only 17-year-old
virgin in history!

291
00:15:21,981 --> 00:15:23,149
You are the lucky one.

292
00:15:23,233 --> 00:15:26,027
Ignorance is bliss,
my virginal friend.

293
00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:28,404
It could be days before
Tim and I are back together.

294
00:15:28,488 --> 00:15:30,740
None of us need a man
to have a healthy sex life.

295
00:15:30,824 --> 00:15:35,578
I am learning that technology has given us
incredible innovations in self-pleasure.

296
00:15:35,662 --> 00:15:38,289
And, like, whatever you're into.
External, internal,

297
00:15:38,373 --> 00:15:42,752
dildos, rabbits, wands, vibrators,
remote-controlled butt plugs, anal beads,

298
00:15:42,836 --> 00:15:44,420
- Ben Wa balls...
- Ben Wa balls?

299
00:15:44,504 --> 00:15:48,925
Oh, yeah. I have two in right now.
It is a very specific sensation.

300
00:15:49,008 --> 00:15:50,885
Ooh! Yeah.

301
00:15:53,388 --> 00:15:54,430
They're amazing.

302
00:15:54,514 --> 00:15:57,016
The knowledge that you have
something in your vagina

303
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:58,309
is very unsettling to me.

304
00:15:58,393 --> 00:15:59,602
That is my whole point.

305
00:15:59,686 --> 00:16:02,063
I would argue that you could use
some unsettling experimentation, Annie.

306
00:16:02,814 --> 00:16:04,357
Do you have a toy?

307
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:05,525
We don't...

308
00:16:05,817 --> 00:16:06,985
I don't do that.

309
00:16:07,068 --> 00:16:09,404
Why does she hate you?

310
00:16:09,696 --> 00:16:12,490
Guys, we're all lacking
something in the romance area.

311
00:16:12,574 --> 00:16:15,869
But I feel like, we gotta figure
this shit out. Like, it's our senior year.

312
00:16:16,411 --> 00:16:17,495
What do you mean?

313
00:16:17,912 --> 00:16:20,415
- Goal-setting.
- Okay, but what goals?

314
00:16:20,498 --> 00:16:23,960
Oh. For you, you need a guy
who appreciates your sense of humor

315
00:16:24,043 --> 00:16:25,545
and doesn't take things so personally.

316
00:16:25,628 --> 00:16:28,965
Maybe someone who's less emotional.

317
00:16:29,048 --> 00:16:30,383
Yeah, like, someone, like, way less woke.

318
00:16:30,466 --> 00:16:31,759
Not a guy who wants
to make sweet love.

319
00:16:31,843 --> 00:16:33,303
You need a guy who wants
to fuck, you know?

320
00:16:33,845 --> 00:16:35,013
Oh, my God!

321
00:16:35,096 --> 00:16:37,515
- I do need someone who wants to fuck!
- There you go.

322
00:16:37,599 --> 00:16:39,184
Okay, my turn, my turn. Do me.

323
00:16:39,267 --> 00:16:41,644
Oh. Yeah, that's pretty simple.
You need someone smart.

324
00:16:41,728 --> 00:16:43,146
Yeah, you need someone
who understands you,

325
00:16:43,229 --> 00:16:46,357
who would like social consciousness,
but also like integrity.

326
00:16:46,441 --> 00:16:47,859
Mmm. Yeah, like, someone a little kinky.

327
00:16:47,942 --> 00:16:50,320
I like it. Okay. What about Steph?

328
00:16:50,904 --> 00:16:53,448
Me? Oh, I am so good.

329
00:16:53,531 --> 00:16:56,618
Oh, sweetie, sorry,
but you need some serious work.

330
00:16:56,701 --> 00:16:58,286
What? Excuse me?

331
00:16:58,369 --> 00:17:00,788
- What exactly do I need?
- Annie, take it.

332
00:17:00,872 --> 00:17:02,582
- A nice guy.
- Mmm.

333
00:17:02,665 --> 00:17:07,003
Someone who wants to be around you
and buys thoughtful presents

334
00:17:07,086 --> 00:17:08,838
and asks about your day.

335
00:17:15,594 --> 00:17:17,554
Okay. What about Annie?

336
00:17:18,097 --> 00:17:20,183
Um, to have sex with the man I love.

337
00:17:20,265 --> 00:17:22,310
Guys, these goals are totally attainable.

338
00:17:22,392 --> 00:17:24,062
- But we need a deadline.
- Homecoming.

339
00:17:24,145 --> 00:17:25,897
About a month away,
and it has the perfect theme.

340
00:17:25,980 --> 00:17:27,023
Theme?

341
00:17:27,106 --> 00:17:29,234
Your lack of school spirit
is truly disheartening.

342
00:17:29,317 --> 00:17:31,152
Ladies, come on. It's a MORP dance.

343
00:17:31,236 --> 00:17:32,278
"Prom" spelled backwards.

344
00:17:32,362 --> 00:17:34,906
We switch all the conventions,
and most importantly,

345
00:17:34,989 --> 00:17:36,074
- girls ask guys.
- Okay.

346
00:17:36,157 --> 00:17:39,786
Rule one, set a goal
to fix our romantic lives.

347
00:17:39,869 --> 00:17:42,205
Rule number two,
we support our fellow women.

348
00:17:42,288 --> 00:17:45,291
Three, we are all
accountability partners.

349
00:17:45,375 --> 00:17:47,210
And we won't let each other
get away with our usual shit.

350
00:17:47,293 --> 00:17:48,294
- Okay.
- Yes. Yes.

351
00:17:48,378 --> 00:17:51,089
- And rule four, deadline is homecoming.
- Mmm.

352
00:17:51,172 --> 00:17:52,382
- The MORP dance.
- Mmm-hmm.

353
00:17:52,465 --> 00:17:54,717
Wait, but I don't like that it's rules.

354
00:17:54,801 --> 00:17:55,969
Makes it sound like a competition.

355
00:17:56,052 --> 00:17:57,345
Well, everything is a competition.

356
00:17:57,971 --> 00:17:59,681
It's not, though. It's a pact, so...

357
00:17:59,764 --> 00:18:01,015
Ooh, a pact. Okay.

358
00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:04,394
Well, ladies, please raise your glasses
to The Girls' Rules.

359
00:18:04,477 --> 00:18:06,062
- Yes!
- Cheers.

360
00:18:06,604 --> 00:18:08,148
{\an8}<i>We have a pact!</i>

361
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:10,775
<i>Call it classic
Reach out and grab it</i>

362
00:18:10,859 --> 00:18:12,819
<i>Super massive
Pulls like a magnet</i>

363
00:18:14,988 --> 00:18:18,575
{\an8}<i>Jumping straight out the box
You got me like whoa</i>

364
00:18:20,118 --> 00:18:23,037
<i>Well, hello
Got, got, got me like whoa</i>

365
00:18:23,955 --> 00:18:27,333
<i>Well, hello
Got, got, got me like whoa</i>

366
00:18:27,834 --> 00:18:28,835
<i>Well, hello</i>

367
00:18:33,381 --> 00:18:34,757
Okay, we start today.

368
00:18:34,841 --> 00:18:36,801
We're getting what we want,
and if anybody doesn't like it,

369
00:18:36,885 --> 00:18:38,178
they can eat a bag of dicks.

370
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:42,223
Kind of feel like we're Charlie's Angels,
but not the Drew Barrymore one.

371
00:18:42,307 --> 00:18:44,225
The older one where no one wore bras.

372
00:18:44,309 --> 00:18:45,310
Nice.

373
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,355
<i>I'm attracted
I gotta have it</i>

374
00:18:49,439 --> 00:18:51,649
<i>Super massive
Pulls like a magnet</i>

375
00:18:52,734 --> 00:18:55,528
Not to ruin this badass moment
of female empowerment,

376
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:59,365
but look at our choices.

377
00:19:00,492 --> 00:19:02,911
You're right.
We've known these rats since elementary.

378
00:19:02,994 --> 00:19:04,704
You really think
we go to school with the perfect guy

379
00:19:04,787 --> 00:19:05,788
and just haven't noticed?

380
00:19:05,872 --> 00:19:06,998
Oh, I think exactly that.

381
00:19:07,081 --> 00:19:08,833
Look, there's over 500 guys
at East Great Falls.

382
00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:11,794
The guy you might be looking for
might be right under your oyster.

383
00:19:11,878 --> 00:19:12,962
Or at Michigan State.

384
00:19:13,046 --> 00:19:15,048
Okay, ironically,
I think that Annie out of all of us

385
00:19:15,131 --> 00:19:16,758
will probably benefit
the most from our pact.

386
00:19:16,841 --> 00:19:18,259
- Yeah?
- Especially the part

387
00:19:18,343 --> 00:19:20,094
- where we call on her bullshit.
- What bullshit?

388
00:19:20,178 --> 00:19:22,680
Okay. You wanna lose it
to Jason the D-bag?

389
00:19:22,764 --> 00:19:23,848
Here's an idea.

390
00:19:23,932 --> 00:19:26,142
Get your ass down to Michigan State
and fuck his little brains out.

391
00:19:26,684 --> 00:19:28,436
Seems simple, yet here you are.

392
00:19:30,688 --> 00:19:31,689
That was harsh.

393
00:19:31,773 --> 00:19:33,942
Yeah, rule three,
accountability partner!

394
00:19:34,025 --> 00:19:35,193
Jason's busy.

395
00:19:35,276 --> 00:19:36,569
I'm trying to plan a trip there,

396
00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:39,322
but with his school schedule,
we barely even get time to talk.

397
00:19:39,405 --> 00:19:40,824
- Yeah.
- So sad.

398
00:19:41,825 --> 00:19:43,076
Oh.

399
00:19:43,159 --> 00:19:44,244
<i>Adiós,</i> mofos.

400
00:19:46,579 --> 00:19:48,665
In the meantime,
I suggest we start training.

401
00:19:48,748 --> 00:19:51,459
In order to enjoy sex,
you need to know what you like, right?

402
00:19:51,543 --> 00:19:53,044
What're you thinking?

403
00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:55,588
I'm thinking that
we do a shopping trip.

404
00:19:57,048 --> 00:19:58,216
Oh, gotta go. Gonna be late.

405
00:20:01,094 --> 00:20:02,095
Whoa.

406
00:20:03,012 --> 00:20:04,597
Shit. Shit. Shit.

407
00:20:06,391 --> 00:20:12,605
<i>You can ring my bell
Ring my bell...</i>

408
00:20:23,575 --> 00:20:24,951
Oh.

409
00:20:26,286 --> 00:20:27,453
- Oh, my God.
- Hey.

410
00:20:27,537 --> 00:20:30,623
Are you okay? That looked really painful.

411
00:20:30,748 --> 00:20:33,585
Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
No, I'm great. I, um... I just...

412
00:20:33,668 --> 00:20:35,587
I was late for class.
It's a little schedule blunder.

413
00:20:35,670 --> 00:20:37,297
It's a pre-calc.
It should've said calc calc.

414
00:20:37,380 --> 00:20:38,464
Hence, the running.

415
00:20:38,548 --> 00:20:41,426
But you look lost,
and as Student Council Vice President,

416
00:20:41,509 --> 00:20:42,844
it's actually my obligation to help you.

417
00:20:42,927 --> 00:20:44,637
Hi. I'm Michelle.

418
00:20:45,805 --> 00:20:48,308
And I'm trying really hard
to hide my growing anxiety

419
00:20:48,391 --> 00:20:50,435
about being late for class.

420
00:20:50,518 --> 00:20:52,312
I'm Grant. Just moved here.

421
00:20:52,395 --> 00:20:53,938
Totally lost.

422
00:20:54,022 --> 00:20:56,274
And amused at your growing anxiety.

423
00:20:56,357 --> 00:20:57,400
But you're in luck.

424
00:20:57,484 --> 00:20:58,943
I am also on the way to calculus.

425
00:20:59,027 --> 00:21:01,613
I'd be more than happy
to report how you selflessly helped me,

426
00:21:01,696 --> 00:21:02,989
even though it made you late.

427
00:21:03,072 --> 00:21:05,909
And I'll be sure to leave out
the part about you, you know,

428
00:21:05,992 --> 00:21:07,160
face-slamming a door.

429
00:21:12,999 --> 00:21:14,125
Is that a Ben Wa ball?

430
00:21:14,792 --> 00:21:16,085
Yeah.

431
00:21:18,922 --> 00:21:20,965
- Three second rule.
- Okay.

432
00:21:21,049 --> 00:21:22,842
- Should we go?
- Yeah.

433
00:21:25,261 --> 00:21:28,431
A sweet treat for my sweet treat.

434
00:21:28,890 --> 00:21:31,309
What're you doing?
We broke up. Remember?

435
00:21:31,392 --> 00:21:33,311
We had a little squabble.

436
00:21:33,394 --> 00:21:35,104
Pumpkin spice or mocha?

437
00:21:35,188 --> 00:21:36,898
This is real. It's over.

438
00:21:36,981 --> 00:21:39,067
You're just not my lobster.

439
00:21:52,205 --> 00:21:53,456
Mind if I join you?

440
00:21:56,251 --> 00:22:00,338
Look. I know this is not
in any way my business,

441
00:22:00,421 --> 00:22:02,465
but I couldn't help but overhear.

442
00:22:02,549 --> 00:22:04,008
Oh, God.

443
00:22:04,092 --> 00:22:05,885
Yeah, it's pretty uncomfy.

444
00:22:05,969 --> 00:22:09,639
But I figured it might be a less pathetic
moment if you weren't sitting alone

445
00:22:09,722 --> 00:22:12,725
while your ex is still watching.

446
00:22:13,393 --> 00:22:15,061
You really wanna drive him nuts?

447
00:22:15,145 --> 00:22:17,021
Pass me that delicious pumpkin spice.

448
00:22:19,524 --> 00:22:21,442
- Who are you?
- I'm Grant.

449
00:22:21,526 --> 00:22:22,944
I'm cheering you up.

450
00:22:23,027 --> 00:22:26,156
- You're trying to steal my coffee.
- That's just an added bonus.

451
00:22:30,702 --> 00:22:33,454
- I'm Kayla.
- Nice to meet you, Kayla.

452
00:22:33,538 --> 00:22:34,539
Mmm.

453
00:22:37,458 --> 00:22:38,626
Why'd you give me the mocha one?

454
00:22:38,710 --> 00:22:40,378
You think I'm just gonna
give you pumpkin spice?

455
00:22:40,461 --> 00:22:42,422
This shit is seasonal
and I don't even know you.

456
00:22:43,089 --> 00:22:44,090
Touché.

457
00:22:46,509 --> 00:22:47,760
<i>Yeah</i>

458
00:22:54,767 --> 00:22:57,812
<i>Let everyone know
That the girls run the show</i>

459
00:22:59,063 --> 00:23:01,608
Who wants some? Yeah!

460
00:23:01,691 --> 00:23:05,236
<i>The lights are down low
Raise the curtain and go</i>

461
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,572
<i>It's our big night
Hey</i>

462
00:23:07,655 --> 00:23:09,532
<i>Our big night
Ho</i>

463
00:23:09,616 --> 00:23:11,409
Who the fuck is that?

464
00:23:11,493 --> 00:23:12,660
Who's the fresh meat?

465
00:23:12,744 --> 00:23:13,912
Yeah, look at that snack.

466
00:23:13,995 --> 00:23:15,163
Nice dick!

467
00:23:15,246 --> 00:23:16,789
You spooked him. Ball!

468
00:23:17,457 --> 00:23:19,417
- No way. He's too far.
- 20 bucks.

469
00:23:19,501 --> 00:23:20,960
- I want some of that.
- You're on.

470
00:23:21,044 --> 00:23:22,295
Go on, give me some space.

471
00:23:28,009 --> 00:23:29,093
Wait for it.

472
00:23:32,013 --> 00:23:33,223
- Fuck, yeah!
- Oh shit!

473
00:23:33,306 --> 00:23:34,766
- I can't believe she actually made that.
- He might be dead.

474
00:23:34,849 --> 00:23:38,478
- You killed the snack!
- Venmo me, motherfuckers!

475
00:23:38,561 --> 00:23:42,023
<i>Girls run this
Girls run this show</i>

476
00:23:44,234 --> 00:23:47,821
Oh, my God, I... I am so sorry.

477
00:23:49,405 --> 00:23:50,657
Are you okay?

478
00:23:51,699 --> 00:23:53,952
Oh, I think so.

479
00:23:54,035 --> 00:23:55,078
Whoa.

480
00:23:55,161 --> 00:23:58,832
- You good?
- Yeah, I think so.

481
00:23:58,915 --> 00:24:01,835
Um, I'm Stephanie. Stephanie Stifler.

482
00:24:01,918 --> 00:24:03,086
I'm Grant.

483
00:24:03,169 --> 00:24:05,672
Uh, your hands are so soft.

484
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,300
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

485
00:24:09,384 --> 00:24:11,594
I'm looking for
the boys' lacrosse practice.

486
00:24:11,970 --> 00:24:12,971
Oh.

487
00:24:13,054 --> 00:24:15,390
The boys' practice is on the east field.

488
00:24:15,473 --> 00:24:18,184
- Yeah, I'll walk you.
- Uh, it's... It's okay.

489
00:24:20,854 --> 00:24:23,273
- Nice goal, by the way.
- It was good, right?

490
00:24:26,609 --> 00:24:27,944
You will be mine.

491
00:24:33,992 --> 00:24:35,577
Come on.

492
00:24:36,077 --> 00:24:37,370
Oh, my God.

493
00:24:37,453 --> 00:24:39,539
I am very uncomfortable right now.

494
00:24:39,622 --> 00:24:42,750
Okay. Annie, let's just
take a deep breath and calm down

495
00:24:42,834 --> 00:24:44,460
and realize that this is just a store.

496
00:24:44,544 --> 00:24:47,422
There's nothing weird or wrong
or dirty about this place.

497
00:24:47,505 --> 00:24:49,132
- You come here a lot?
- Michelle.

498
00:24:49,215 --> 00:24:50,258
- Hey, Rose.
- I guess so.

499
00:24:50,341 --> 00:24:52,510
The new VJ-VAX just came out.

500
00:24:52,594 --> 00:24:55,388
Girl, it's great for your nipples,
your tongue,

501
00:24:55,471 --> 00:24:57,390
your clitoris, any sphincter...

502
00:24:57,473 --> 00:24:59,726
She's naming so many
different body part words.

503
00:24:59,809 --> 00:25:01,227
Poor thing. You're still allowing yourself

504
00:25:01,311 --> 00:25:03,438
- to be clit-blocked by the patriarchy.
- Mmm-hmm.

505
00:25:03,521 --> 00:25:06,065
I'm so sorry.
Did I hear you say the VJ-VAX came in?

506
00:25:06,149 --> 00:25:07,233
I've just heard amazing things.

507
00:25:07,317 --> 00:25:08,401
They're all true.

508
00:25:08,485 --> 00:25:09,861
Oh, can I get a demonstration?

509
00:25:11,571 --> 00:25:13,406
- Okay. Come on.
- Oh, no.

510
00:25:16,910 --> 00:25:17,911
Oh, dear God.

511
00:25:17,994 --> 00:25:19,746
Welcome to
your sexual awakening.

512
00:25:19,829 --> 00:25:22,165
{\an8}Somewhere on this wall
lies the access point to your orgasm.

513
00:25:22,248 --> 00:25:24,834
But, to pick the right toy,
I do need a little bit of information.

514
00:25:24,918 --> 00:25:26,419
Are you an innie or an outie?

515
00:25:26,503 --> 00:25:27,545
Am I what?

516
00:25:28,630 --> 00:25:29,672
Okay.

517
00:25:29,756 --> 00:25:32,884
Why don't we use
this rubber vagina as a visual aid?

518
00:25:32,967 --> 00:25:35,386
- That's a return, but we cleaned it.
- Thanks, Rose.

519
00:25:35,470 --> 00:25:36,804
Okay, do you like this,

520
00:25:36,888 --> 00:25:38,473
- or do you like this?
- A.

521
00:25:38,556 --> 00:25:40,767
I'll... I'll... I'll just pick Option A.

522
00:25:40,850 --> 00:25:42,227
Well, that makes a lot of sense.

523
00:25:42,310 --> 00:25:44,270
Most women orgasm
through clitoral stimulation.

524
00:25:44,354 --> 00:25:45,814
- Okay.
- Actually, did you know that

525
00:25:45,897 --> 00:25:49,734
75% of women never orgasm
through intercourse alone? It's a fact.

526
00:25:49,818 --> 00:25:51,194
I'm sorry, ladies, could you just...

527
00:25:51,277 --> 00:25:52,403
You're blocking the good stuff.

528
00:25:52,487 --> 00:25:53,988
- Oh, sorry.
- Ooh!

529
00:25:54,489 --> 00:25:56,449
How about this guy?

530
00:25:56,533 --> 00:25:58,910
Hello. How are you?

531
00:25:59,619 --> 00:26:01,329
Aw, sweet baby bird.

532
00:26:01,412 --> 00:26:03,164
Let me guess. Is this your first toy?

533
00:26:03,248 --> 00:26:04,999
Yes, it is her first toy.

534
00:26:05,083 --> 00:26:07,710
That is such a special day
in a woman's life.

535
00:26:08,044 --> 00:26:09,671
Oh, sweetheart.

536
00:26:09,754 --> 00:26:12,006
I remember my first
like it was yesterday.

537
00:26:12,090 --> 00:26:13,633
The Muscle Massager 5000.

538
00:26:14,217 --> 00:26:15,677
{\an8}Still a bestseller.

539
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,929
Mmm, that thing was squirt-tastic.

540
00:26:18,972 --> 00:26:22,851
{\an8}But nothing compares
to this gem right here.

541
00:26:23,893 --> 00:26:26,354
Three vibrating stimulators,

542
00:26:26,771 --> 00:26:29,607
curved tip to help you
find that elusive G-spot.

543
00:26:29,691 --> 00:26:31,484
Spoiler alert, it's in the front.

544
00:26:31,568 --> 00:26:33,570
There's a rabbit
for your itty-bitty clitty.

545
00:26:33,653 --> 00:26:35,989
And if you pee a little bit,
don't worry, it's waterproof.

546
00:26:36,072 --> 00:26:39,117
I mean, it is a beautiful time
to be alive, ladies. Am I right?

547
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,326
- Yeah.
- Right.

548
00:26:40,410 --> 00:26:42,871
Wait. Call off the dogs.
The search is off.

549
00:26:42,954 --> 00:26:44,205
I found it.

550
00:26:44,747 --> 00:26:47,125
These black lacy panties are perfect.

551
00:26:47,208 --> 00:26:49,210
They're discreet. They're non-invasive.

552
00:26:49,294 --> 00:26:50,795
I agree. Those are perfect.

553
00:26:50,879 --> 00:26:54,215
And I'm so excited for the journey
that you're about to embark on.

554
00:26:54,632 --> 00:26:57,552
Godspeed, little bird. Godspeed.

555
00:27:00,555 --> 00:27:01,556
Wow.

556
00:27:01,639 --> 00:27:03,141
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

557
00:27:03,224 --> 00:27:05,351
- What? Relax.
- Relax?

558
00:27:05,435 --> 00:27:08,104
That super-weird
but strangely helpful woman

559
00:27:08,188 --> 00:27:10,315
just picked out
a vibrating undergarment for me.

560
00:27:10,398 --> 00:27:11,983
She's not weird. She's a goddess.

561
00:27:12,066 --> 00:27:14,611
And who cares?
You're never gonna see her again.

562
00:27:14,694 --> 00:27:15,945
Let's go.

563
00:27:18,406 --> 00:27:19,407
Oh.

564
00:27:19,491 --> 00:27:21,493
- Hey, honey.
- Hey, Dad.

565
00:27:21,576 --> 00:27:24,162
- Big test. Gotta study.
- You have a test already?

566
00:27:26,706 --> 00:27:27,707
Wow.

567
00:27:27,832 --> 00:27:30,668
Must be some kind of
accelerated school.

568
00:27:57,779 --> 00:28:00,698
Oh, my God.

569
00:28:05,245 --> 00:28:06,246
Hi.

570
00:28:06,329 --> 00:28:09,415
Uh, I just moved in next door
and I wanted to introduce myself.

571
00:28:09,499 --> 00:28:13,503
I'm Ellen and...
Oh, come here, hon. This is my son, Grant.

572
00:28:14,045 --> 00:28:15,171
I made you a pie.

573
00:28:17,048 --> 00:28:18,883
- Come in.
- Thank you.

574
00:28:18,967 --> 00:28:21,886
<i>Babe, I... I got...
I gotta get to class.</i>

575
00:28:22,345 --> 00:28:25,098
You don't have time to knock one out?

576
00:28:25,181 --> 00:28:27,809
<i>Are you... Are you saying
you wanna have cybersex?</i>

577
00:28:27,892 --> 00:28:30,019
Because, uh, yeah, that would...

578
00:28:30,103 --> 00:28:31,896
That would... That would be dope.

579
00:28:31,980 --> 00:28:35,150
I bought something for us.

580
00:28:35,650 --> 00:28:38,778
So I just thought I'd make this
for you and your... Your wife.

581
00:28:38,862 --> 00:28:40,405
No wife, sadly. Divorced.

582
00:28:40,488 --> 00:28:42,991
- It's just me and my daughter.
- What a coincidence.

583
00:28:43,491 --> 00:28:45,285
- Me, too.
- Oh.

584
00:28:45,493 --> 00:28:47,704
What do ya say
we dig into this delicious pie?

585
00:28:47,787 --> 00:28:48,788
Apple?

586
00:28:49,038 --> 00:28:50,039
Cherry.

587
00:28:50,123 --> 00:28:51,124
Mmm.

588
00:28:51,291 --> 00:28:52,542
Still hot.

589
00:28:53,626 --> 00:28:55,879
Oh, come on. Oh, you gotta...
You gotta show me.

590
00:28:55,962 --> 00:28:57,505
You gotta show me. Please?

591
00:28:57,589 --> 00:28:58,923
Please.

592
00:28:59,007 --> 00:29:00,341
<i>Okay. Just a peek.</i>

593
00:29:01,885 --> 00:29:03,344
Oh, damn it!

594
00:29:03,428 --> 00:29:06,181
Ugh! Uh, my Wi-Fi sucks.

595
00:29:06,264 --> 00:29:10,477
Okay, all you need to know is
that they're tiny and lacy,

596
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,271
and they have a remote control.

597
00:29:14,397 --> 00:29:16,691
You control your panties with that?

598
00:29:16,774 --> 00:29:20,778
<i>Oh, nice. Oh, you got...
Turn it on. Mmm-hmm.</i>

599
00:29:25,950 --> 00:29:27,660
- Oh, wow.
- Oh.

600
00:29:27,869 --> 00:29:29,162
It's so good.

601
00:29:29,245 --> 00:29:30,955
That is so good.

602
00:29:31,039 --> 00:29:33,041
Mmm.

603
00:29:33,124 --> 00:29:34,584
I'm so glad that you like it.

604
00:29:35,084 --> 00:29:38,421
Oh, I like it. I like it a lot.

605
00:29:39,756 --> 00:29:41,007
Oh, shit.

606
00:29:41,090 --> 00:29:43,343
Oh, I've never heard you cuss before.

607
00:29:43,968 --> 00:29:45,887
I like it. Can you...
Can you cuss again?

608
00:29:45,970 --> 00:29:48,306
Holy fuck.

609
00:29:53,686 --> 00:29:54,729
Mmm.

610
00:29:54,813 --> 00:29:55,814
Hmm.

611
00:29:55,897 --> 00:30:00,276
So, Kevin,
how long have you been divorced?

612
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:01,444
Long time.

613
00:30:03,988 --> 00:30:06,825
Such a long time.

614
00:30:06,908 --> 00:30:10,286
Okay. You know, this has been great,
but I have a big test tomorrow.

615
00:30:10,370 --> 00:30:11,788
- I gotta go study for it, so...
- Oh.

616
00:30:11,871 --> 00:30:14,958
I bet Annie's studying
for the same test.

617
00:30:15,041 --> 00:30:16,876
Whoo.

618
00:30:17,544 --> 00:30:19,504
Okay. Whoa.

619
00:30:19,587 --> 00:30:21,673
- Oh, shit.
- Fantastic.

620
00:30:21,798 --> 00:30:23,383
You go to East Great Falls?

621
00:30:23,466 --> 00:30:26,177
Actually we both do.
I'm the new principal.

622
00:30:26,594 --> 00:30:27,595
Huh.

623
00:30:27,679 --> 00:30:28,680
No way.

624
00:30:28,763 --> 00:30:29,764
You know what?

625
00:30:30,306 --> 00:30:33,143
Annie loves a surprise.
We should go up and say hi to her.

626
00:30:33,226 --> 00:30:34,811
Holy fuck.

627
00:30:34,894 --> 00:30:35,895
Whoo!

628
00:30:36,062 --> 00:30:37,063
Oh, shit.

629
00:30:37,647 --> 00:30:38,815
Oh, I'm gonna pop.

630
00:30:38,898 --> 00:30:40,316
Hey, honey, you busy?

631
00:30:41,359 --> 00:30:43,027
No! Hey!

632
00:30:43,111 --> 00:30:45,196
- Just... Just chillin'.
- Well, great.

633
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,074
Because I want to
introduce you to your new principal.

634
00:30:48,158 --> 00:30:49,450
This is Miss Fisher.

635
00:30:50,994 --> 00:30:52,745
- Huh.
- Hi.

636
00:30:52,829 --> 00:30:54,330
I'm gonna pop!

637
00:30:54,414 --> 00:30:57,000
<i>Oh, I'm popping! I'm popping!</i>

638
00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:58,710
- <i>Oh, I'm gonna pop.</i>
- It's been giving me trouble all day.

639
00:30:58,793 --> 00:31:00,545
Just noises coming out of there.

640
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,798
You know, funny story.
Annie and I have actually already met.

641
00:31:04,340 --> 00:31:05,842
- At the library.
- Oh, yeah.

642
00:31:05,925 --> 00:31:09,179
I was checking out <i>Moby Dick</i>
and she had a cute little romance novel.

643
00:31:09,262 --> 00:31:10,388
How is that going for you?

644
00:31:10,471 --> 00:31:12,974
It's so good.

645
00:31:13,057 --> 00:31:14,225
- Good to hear.
- Yeah.

646
00:31:14,309 --> 00:31:17,145
You know, I wanna introduce you
to my son, Grant.

647
00:31:17,228 --> 00:31:18,730
Isn't he handsome?

648
00:31:19,189 --> 00:31:21,024
Nice to meet you.

649
00:31:21,441 --> 00:31:24,360
- Oh...
- I'm Grant. Nice to meet you, too.

650
00:31:26,279 --> 00:31:28,364
You guys hear that?
It's like a hum...

651
00:31:29,282 --> 00:31:30,283
Mmm...

652
00:31:30,742 --> 00:31:32,785
No, I'm not... I don't...
I don't hear anything.

653
00:31:35,371 --> 00:31:37,290
Annie. You okay?

654
00:31:37,373 --> 00:31:39,751
- Oh, I'm...
- You know what I think would be good?

655
00:31:39,834 --> 00:31:41,753
I think it would be great
if we went downstairs

656
00:31:41,836 --> 00:31:43,880
- and got Annie a hot piece of pie.
- Oh!

657
00:31:43,963 --> 00:31:45,381
Oh, God, yes!

658
00:31:45,465 --> 00:31:49,135
Great. You know, sometimes a girl
just needs something simple.

659
00:31:49,219 --> 00:31:50,428
Am I right, honey?

660
00:31:50,512 --> 00:31:52,889
Here, why don't you give me a tour?
Let's start with your bedroom.

661
00:32:04,067 --> 00:32:05,401
- It's very high tech.
- Mmm.

662
00:32:07,028 --> 00:32:08,780
- Nice to meet you, Annie.
- Mmm-hmm.

663
00:32:09,447 --> 00:32:10,448
Yeah.

664
00:32:17,455 --> 00:32:20,416
<i>This year's
Homecoming theme is so exciting.</i>

665
00:32:20,500 --> 00:32:25,505
<i>So come as you dream,
because we are having a Pajama Party...</i>

666
00:32:25,588 --> 00:32:26,756
{\an8}MORP! Whoop whoop!

667
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:28,508
That's "prom" spelled backwards.

668
00:32:28,591 --> 00:32:32,011
<i>Uh, instead of tuxedos and gowns,
put on your PJs and onesies!</i>

669
00:32:32,095 --> 00:32:33,346
<i>That's crazy!</i>

670
00:32:33,429 --> 00:32:36,391
Now, I have the super
important responsibility

671
00:32:36,474 --> 00:32:38,434
of introducing our new leader,

672
00:32:38,518 --> 00:32:40,728
Principal Ellen Fisher.

673
00:32:41,062 --> 00:32:42,981
<i>Aw, thanks, Emmett.</i>

674
00:32:43,189 --> 00:32:44,190
<i>Hello.</i>

675
00:32:44,274 --> 00:32:46,943
<i>I bet you're pretty surprised
to see me here in this position.</i>

676
00:32:47,026 --> 00:32:48,194
- <i>Well, guess what?</i>
- Holy shit.

677
00:32:48,278 --> 00:32:49,320
<i>I'm surprised, too.</i>

678
00:32:49,988 --> 00:32:51,322
It is her. You're right.

679
00:32:51,698 --> 00:32:52,699
I told you.

680
00:32:53,658 --> 00:32:55,577
You said I'd never see her again.

681
00:32:55,660 --> 00:32:57,078
But I did.

682
00:32:57,495 --> 00:33:00,039
An hour later, in my bedroom,

683
00:33:00,123 --> 00:33:02,208
when I was using
a recently-purchased item.

684
00:33:03,418 --> 00:33:05,253
Ew, God. Private conversation.

685
00:33:05,336 --> 00:33:09,924
A strong, accomplished woman
who's very comfortable with her sexuality?

686
00:33:10,425 --> 00:33:12,760
She's, like, the perfect role model.

687
00:33:16,514 --> 00:33:20,935
<i>It seems that Principal Shankman
retired, rather abruptly.</i>

688
00:33:21,019 --> 00:33:24,355
<i>But I know
we all wish him very, very well.</i>

689
00:33:24,439 --> 00:33:27,317
<i>So you guys, have a great day.</i>

690
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:28,693
Go, Trademakers!

691
00:33:29,027 --> 00:33:31,112
- Uh, trailblazers.
- Trailblazers. I know.

692
00:33:31,196 --> 00:33:32,697
Go, Trailblazers!

693
00:33:38,077 --> 00:33:39,162
Hey, you.

694
00:33:39,704 --> 00:33:42,248
Hi. Kayla, right?

695
00:33:45,293 --> 00:33:46,461
I got your favorite.

696
00:33:46,711 --> 00:33:48,796
Wow! Thank you. Mmm.

697
00:33:49,714 --> 00:33:51,216
It really does taste like fall.

698
00:33:53,426 --> 00:33:55,303
Oh, it so does.

699
00:33:56,137 --> 00:33:57,180
- You're so funny.
- Uh...

700
00:33:57,263 --> 00:33:59,390
I'm just gonna head to class.

701
00:33:59,474 --> 00:34:01,893
Thank you, again, very much.

702
00:34:04,562 --> 00:34:05,563
Mmm.

703
00:34:07,315 --> 00:34:09,609
Hey. Who's that guy?

704
00:34:10,192 --> 00:34:11,694
Who is, uh... Oh!

705
00:34:12,069 --> 00:34:14,113
That guy. That's Grant.

706
00:34:14,697 --> 00:34:15,698
My friend.

707
00:34:15,781 --> 00:34:17,158
My special friend.

708
00:34:17,241 --> 00:34:19,410
We just broke up three days ago.

709
00:34:19,493 --> 00:34:22,038
Tim, are you jealous?

710
00:34:22,121 --> 00:34:24,499
That is so cute.

711
00:34:24,582 --> 00:34:27,252
You know, if you ever wanted me
to drop by...

712
00:34:27,710 --> 00:34:28,710
Uh...

713
00:34:28,795 --> 00:34:30,964
We're not getting back together.

714
00:34:31,089 --> 00:34:32,089
Oh.

715
00:34:32,172 --> 00:34:34,592
Back together?
Who wants that?

716
00:34:35,802 --> 00:34:37,971
No, I'm just talking
about a little ex sex.

717
00:34:38,971 --> 00:34:40,056
Ex sex?

718
00:34:40,139 --> 00:34:42,350
How many times
did we sneak off during lunch

719
00:34:42,433 --> 00:34:43,893
and go do it at your place?

720
00:34:43,977 --> 00:34:45,435
What's a few more?

721
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:49,274
Oh, I mean,
if you don't want to, I, you know...

722
00:34:49,357 --> 00:34:51,651
I think I have plans
with Grant anyway. So...

723
00:34:51,734 --> 00:34:53,278
Uh, lunchtime.

724
00:34:53,944 --> 00:34:54,946
My place.

725
00:35:00,368 --> 00:35:01,578
So, you guys
getting back together?

726
00:35:02,245 --> 00:35:03,830
That's how a bad bitch does it.

727
00:35:08,793 --> 00:35:10,503
She was holding my spot. Yeah.

728
00:35:13,381 --> 00:35:14,382
Hi.

729
00:35:15,341 --> 00:35:16,509
Remember me?

730
00:35:16,593 --> 00:35:18,178
- No.
- Sure you do.

731
00:35:18,261 --> 00:35:21,181
Yesterday, your room,
you were pleasuring yourself.

732
00:35:22,557 --> 00:35:24,684
Gross, don't say it like that.

733
00:35:25,268 --> 00:35:26,603
Well, how should I say it?

734
00:35:26,686 --> 00:35:28,438
Just don't say it.

735
00:35:28,521 --> 00:35:30,148
Ever. To anyone.

736
00:35:30,231 --> 00:35:33,526
Okay. I won't.
'Cause it's nobody's business.

737
00:35:33,610 --> 00:35:34,861
- Fries, please.
- Right.

738
00:35:35,612 --> 00:35:38,323
You know what, to tell you the truth,
though, I found the whole thing kind of...

739
00:35:38,406 --> 00:35:40,325
I don't know, endearing.

740
00:35:42,827 --> 00:35:44,037
I have a boyfriend.

741
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,665
No, I know. I didn't get to meet him,
but he sounded really nice.

742
00:35:47,749 --> 00:35:49,375
- Eggplant taco?
- Yeah. Please. Thank you.

743
00:35:49,459 --> 00:35:53,713
Look, just because you barged into my room
while I was having a private moment

744
00:35:53,796 --> 00:35:57,175
with the love of my life,
doesn't mean you know me.

745
00:35:57,258 --> 00:35:58,343
I'm sorry.

746
00:35:58,426 --> 00:36:03,223
The "I'm about to pop, I'm popping" guy,
that's the love of your life?

747
00:36:05,642 --> 00:36:08,812
I am in a mature,
committed relationship

748
00:36:08,895 --> 00:36:11,064
and if I told Jason
the things you are saying...

749
00:36:11,147 --> 00:36:13,650
Oh, you wouldn't be too happy, pal.

750
00:36:13,733 --> 00:36:16,569
Okay. Got it. Pal.

751
00:36:17,278 --> 00:36:20,824
Look, I wish you and your Internet lover
a lifetime of happiness.

752
00:36:21,866 --> 00:36:22,867
Enjoy your lunch.

753
00:36:23,952 --> 00:36:25,245
Thank you.

754
00:36:30,291 --> 00:36:31,876
You're good at talking to boys.

755
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,170
How do you start?
I'm having trouble with my opening.

756
00:36:35,672 --> 00:36:38,091
Well, the damsel-in-distress shit
usually works like a charm.

757
00:36:38,716 --> 00:36:41,386
Well, I am not doing that.

758
00:36:41,469 --> 00:36:42,971
Girl, it's amazing how dumb men can get

759
00:36:43,054 --> 00:36:45,390
when they think
we actually need them, so...

760
00:36:45,473 --> 00:36:46,599
Emmett, what up, man?

761
00:36:47,767 --> 00:36:48,977
Hello, sexy.

762
00:36:51,229 --> 00:36:53,231
Okay, why is my wet dream
hugging Emmett?

763
00:36:54,774 --> 00:36:55,775
Wait.

764
00:36:56,818 --> 00:36:58,444
You don't actually like Grant, right?

765
00:36:58,528 --> 00:36:59,904
I mean, he's not your type.

766
00:36:59,988 --> 00:37:02,282
What could you two
possibly have in common?

767
00:37:02,365 --> 00:37:04,450
Undeniable animal magnetism, baby.

768
00:37:04,784 --> 00:37:07,370
Um, I have to go to, uh...
I have a library...

769
00:37:07,453 --> 00:37:08,663
I need to go to the... I have a book.

770
00:37:08,746 --> 00:37:09,914
I gotta... Bye. I'll see you later.

771
00:37:09,998 --> 00:37:11,708
- See ya.
- Text me.

772
00:37:11,791 --> 00:37:13,793
Mmm-hmm.
Damsel in distress.

773
00:37:13,877 --> 00:37:15,503
Damsel in distress. Damsel in distress.

774
00:37:16,004 --> 00:37:17,380
That way.

775
00:38:01,299 --> 00:38:02,467
Oh, shit!

776
00:38:06,221 --> 00:38:07,222
Whoa!

777
00:38:07,805 --> 00:38:08,806
Ah...

778
00:38:08,890 --> 00:38:10,517
You, again.

779
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:11,684
You okay?

780
00:38:14,103 --> 00:38:15,188
{\an8}Yeah.

781
00:38:15,438 --> 00:38:16,439
Whoa.

782
00:38:16,523 --> 00:38:18,733
- Hi.
- Hi.

783
00:38:19,234 --> 00:38:23,655
I'm just so fragile and delicate.

784
00:38:24,364 --> 00:38:25,365
Okay.

785
00:38:25,448 --> 00:38:26,449
Wow.

786
00:38:27,116 --> 00:38:30,495
Your neck is very muscly.

787
00:38:30,578 --> 00:38:32,205
- Thank you.
- Mmm-hmm.

788
00:38:32,288 --> 00:38:34,958
I think maybe we should
get you some medical attention.

789
00:38:35,041 --> 00:38:36,626
- Okay.
- Okay.

790
00:38:39,838 --> 00:38:41,130
Mind if I join you?

791
00:38:41,673 --> 00:38:42,674
Hey.

792
00:38:43,049 --> 00:38:45,718
What? Uh, no. Why?

793
00:38:45,802 --> 00:38:47,762
Oh, come on.
We don't even talk anymore.

794
00:38:47,846 --> 00:38:49,764
Yeah. Not since fifth grade,

795
00:38:49,848 --> 00:38:52,892
when you told everyone
I wet my pants at recess.

796
00:38:53,601 --> 00:38:54,644
But you did.

797
00:38:55,061 --> 00:38:56,771
No, it was a malfunctioning
water fountain.

798
00:38:56,855 --> 00:38:57,897
Oh, right. Okay.

799
00:38:57,981 --> 00:38:59,732
Look, I'm reading, all right?

800
00:38:59,816 --> 00:39:02,068
And I know this isn't a practice
you're familiar with,

801
00:39:02,152 --> 00:39:03,695
but it's a nonverbal cue

802
00:39:03,778 --> 00:39:07,073
which says I'm enjoying some
solitary time, so, maybe don't bother me.

803
00:39:07,157 --> 00:39:10,076
Okay, well I kind of feel bad about
the whole wetting-the-pants thing, now.

804
00:39:10,743 --> 00:39:11,786
Yeah, you should.

805
00:39:14,414 --> 00:39:16,207
Hey, the guy you were talking to, Grant.

806
00:39:17,167 --> 00:39:18,251
You guys friends?

807
00:39:18,501 --> 00:39:21,963
Uh, we've only been roommates at band camp
the last seven summers,

808
00:39:22,046 --> 00:39:23,047
so, uh, yeah.

809
00:39:23,131 --> 00:39:25,300
- Yeah, we're friends.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Grant's in band?

810
00:39:25,383 --> 00:39:26,384
No shit.

811
00:39:26,467 --> 00:39:29,012
Yeah. He's an incredibly
talented saxophone player.

812
00:39:29,095 --> 00:39:30,388
- Boring.
- No.

813
00:39:30,471 --> 00:39:34,017
Sax is the sexiest wind instrument.
So it's not boring.

814
00:39:34,100 --> 00:39:36,895
Okay. What are his hobbies?
What's he like?

815
00:39:36,978 --> 00:39:39,397
Okay, you haven't
spoken to me in like nine years,

816
00:39:39,481 --> 00:39:42,525
so why don't you
go ask Grant these questions?

817
00:39:42,609 --> 00:39:44,486
Okay, look, Emmett,
I'm kinda turning over a new leaf.

818
00:39:45,111 --> 00:39:48,698
I'm looking to date
a different type, someone nice.

819
00:39:48,781 --> 00:39:51,159
And anyway, my charms of seduction
don't seem to be working on him,

820
00:39:51,242 --> 00:39:53,661
so I was thinking that,
I don't know, you'd help me out.

821
00:39:53,745 --> 00:39:57,290
You want me to help trick
my good friend Grant into liking you?

822
00:39:57,665 --> 00:39:58,708
Yeah, that's pretty much it.

823
00:39:58,833 --> 00:39:59,834
Hmm.

824
00:40:00,001 --> 00:40:02,879
Just so he can be another notch
on your lipstick case?

825
00:40:02,962 --> 00:40:05,673
Okay, news flash.
I don't have a lipstick case.

826
00:40:05,757 --> 00:40:07,884
And neither does anyone
under the age of 80, so...

827
00:40:07,967 --> 00:40:09,844
Look, dude, are you gonna
help me or what?

828
00:40:10,261 --> 00:40:12,013
Well, I foresee
a couple of problems.

829
00:40:12,096 --> 00:40:13,097
What?

830
00:40:13,181 --> 00:40:16,059
Well, Grant, he's got this
whole good taste thing.

831
00:40:16,142 --> 00:40:18,019
Yeah, and then...
And then there's my integrity.

832
00:40:18,102 --> 00:40:23,066
I'm reluctant to help trick
my friend into a romance with a dementor.

833
00:40:25,610 --> 00:40:26,611
What's that?

834
00:40:26,694 --> 00:40:29,322
Dark creatures that
consume human happiness.

835
00:40:29,405 --> 00:40:30,532
It's from <i>Harry Potter.</i>

836
00:40:30,615 --> 00:40:32,784
Wow, you are such a fucking nerd.

837
00:40:36,329 --> 00:40:37,622
Look, I'll give you 20 bucks.

838
00:40:39,374 --> 00:40:41,501
How dare you?
You know, this guy's a friend.

839
00:40:41,584 --> 00:40:43,920
It's $100 minimum.

840
00:40:47,131 --> 00:40:48,341
Better be worth it.

841
00:40:49,592 --> 00:40:51,219
Hey, I think we need a nurse.

842
00:40:51,302 --> 00:40:53,555
Injured student. Code Blue!

843
00:40:53,721 --> 00:40:54,722
Huh?

844
00:40:54,806 --> 00:40:55,807
No...

845
00:40:55,890 --> 00:40:57,725
No, no, no. No Code Blue.
I'm fine. Really, I'm fine.

846
00:40:57,809 --> 00:40:58,935
Grant, what happened? Are you okay?

847
00:40:59,018 --> 00:41:00,019
I've got this, Principal Fisher.

848
00:41:00,103 --> 00:41:01,396
Grant, put her in this chair, all right?
I'll get her to the nurse.

849
00:41:01,479 --> 00:41:03,565
- Here we go. You're good.
- No, no, no. I...

850
00:41:03,648 --> 00:41:04,941
- Hey, take good care of her.
- Good work.

851
00:41:05,024 --> 00:41:06,276
- But, uh...
- Oh, my God,

852
00:41:06,359 --> 00:41:07,986
your hair smells so beautiful.

853
00:41:09,863 --> 00:41:11,531
Seriously, it's fine.
You don't have to push me.

854
00:41:11,614 --> 00:41:13,867
No, no, no, we're not taking
any chances here, all right?

855
00:41:13,950 --> 00:41:15,660
Not with the Academic
Decathlon captain.

856
00:41:15,743 --> 00:41:17,287
We need you this weekend
against Parkway High.

857
00:41:17,370 --> 00:41:19,998
- You watch the Academic Decathlon?
- Of course.

858
00:41:20,081 --> 00:41:22,500
Are you the guy that's always
holding up signs and cheering?

859
00:41:22,584 --> 00:41:24,794
Yeah. Yeah, that's me. Oliver.

860
00:41:24,878 --> 00:41:26,713
Ollie, if you're nasty.

861
00:41:26,796 --> 00:41:28,339
Okay, I'm gonna ignore
that last part.

862
00:41:28,423 --> 00:41:31,259
Listen, Principal Fisher
and her son, are they close?

863
00:41:31,342 --> 00:41:33,052
Yeah. Yeah. Real modern family.

864
00:41:33,136 --> 00:41:34,554
Single mom, only child.

865
00:41:35,054 --> 00:41:37,098
And you're her student aide.

866
00:41:37,182 --> 00:41:38,933
Do you need any help in the office?

867
00:41:39,017 --> 00:41:40,059
Yes!

868
00:41:40,143 --> 00:41:41,144
Great.

869
00:41:52,947 --> 00:41:53,948
Wow.

870
00:41:54,032 --> 00:41:55,533
- That was...
- Yum.

871
00:41:55,617 --> 00:41:58,411
- That was, um... Different.
- Oh.

872
00:41:58,495 --> 00:42:00,455
- Um...
- I like.

873
00:42:01,873 --> 00:42:03,041
Yeah.

874
00:42:03,124 --> 00:42:08,671
Yeah, something about
the, uh, impulsive nature of our meeting

875
00:42:08,755 --> 00:42:11,966
made me feel a little wild.
Didn't it?

876
00:42:12,300 --> 00:42:13,593
Oh, yeah.

877
00:42:13,676 --> 00:42:16,471
Casual hookups, no strings, no emotions.

878
00:42:16,554 --> 00:42:17,889
I am so good.

879
00:42:18,348 --> 00:42:20,183
Whoo. I'm gonna head out.

880
00:42:20,266 --> 00:42:21,684
Wait. You don't have to go yet.

881
00:42:21,768 --> 00:42:25,188
Oh, no. Super fun frolic.
Bang ya later. Maybe not. Who knows?

882
00:42:25,271 --> 00:42:26,606
Gotta go back to school.

883
00:42:39,953 --> 00:42:43,206
Oh, so you just happened to be
in the library during your free period?

884
00:42:43,706 --> 00:42:46,167
- Well, that's one way to say hello.
- Sorry.

885
00:42:46,251 --> 00:42:48,837
Hi, Grant. I'm afraid
now is not a good time

886
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,296
to inappropriately flirt with me,

887
00:42:50,380 --> 00:42:52,674
not only because I have a boyfriend,

888
00:42:52,757 --> 00:42:56,970
but also because my fascist French teacher
also decided he likes daily pop quizzes.

889
00:42:57,053 --> 00:42:59,889
So I guess I'll be spending
my free periods learning French.

890
00:42:59,973 --> 00:43:02,725
Damn. You're really feeling yourself, huh?

891
00:43:02,809 --> 00:43:05,103
I'm just sitting here,
minding my business.

892
00:43:05,186 --> 00:43:06,729
Oh, so you're not gonna flirt with me?

893
00:43:06,813 --> 00:43:08,106
I mean, I'm not, now.

894
00:43:08,189 --> 00:43:09,816
Took all the fun out of it.

895
00:43:12,026 --> 00:43:13,027
All right, wait.

896
00:43:13,111 --> 00:43:16,072
I get it. Okay. You have a boyfriend.

897
00:43:16,156 --> 00:43:17,157
I'm sorry.

898
00:43:17,615 --> 00:43:21,578
It's just fun seeing you
get all flustered and worked up.

899
00:43:22,245 --> 00:43:24,122
You know, I actually speak French.

900
00:43:24,664 --> 00:43:26,916
I'd be more than happy
to help you prep for the quizzes.

901
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,836
Just friends. Study buddies.

902
00:43:29,919 --> 00:43:32,130
All right, no funny business.

903
00:43:32,213 --> 00:43:33,548
Truth is, I'm kind of lonely.

904
00:43:33,631 --> 00:43:35,717
I mean, I don't know anyone
at this school.

905
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,219
You'd be doing me a favor, seriously.

906
00:43:38,636 --> 00:43:40,388
You really speak French?

907
00:43:40,471 --> 00:43:41,723
<i>Oui, oui.</i>

908
00:43:44,559 --> 00:43:45,768
Fine.

909
00:43:50,565 --> 00:43:51,733
Just study buddies.

910
00:43:51,816 --> 00:43:52,817
Of course.

911
00:44:05,330 --> 00:44:07,707
<i>A goddess on a mountain top</i>

912
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,377
<i>Was burning like a silver flame</i>

913
00:44:12,754 --> 00:44:15,215
<i>The summit of beauty and love</i>

914
00:44:16,299 --> 00:44:18,176
<i>And Venus was her name</i>

915
00:44:20,053 --> 00:44:21,179
<i>She's got it</i>

916
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:24,641
<i>Yeah, baby, she's got it</i>

917
00:44:28,061 --> 00:44:30,021
<i>I'm your Venus</i>

918
00:44:30,104 --> 00:44:32,899
<i>I'm your fire
At your desire</i>

919
00:44:35,068 --> 00:44:37,612
<i>Well, I'm your Venus</i>

920
00:44:37,695 --> 00:44:40,698
<i>I'm your fire
At your desire</i>

921
00:44:42,826 --> 00:44:45,995
<i>Her weapons were her crystal eyes</i>

922
00:44:46,704 --> 00:44:49,165
<i>Making every man mad</i>

923
00:44:50,083 --> 00:44:53,211
<i>Black as the dark night she was</i>

924
00:44:53,294 --> 00:44:56,005
<i>Got what no one else has</i>

925
00:44:57,799 --> 00:44:58,883
<i>She's got it</i>

926
00:45:00,176 --> 00:45:02,220
<i>Yeah, baby, she's got it</i>

927
00:45:05,890 --> 00:45:07,559
<i>I'm your Venus</i>

928
00:45:07,642 --> 00:45:10,812
<i>I'm your fire
At your desire</i>

929
00:45:12,522 --> 00:45:14,858
<i>Well, I'm your Venus</i>

930
00:45:14,941 --> 00:45:18,027
<i>I'm your fire
At your desire</i>

931
00:45:30,165 --> 00:45:32,458
<i>Yeah, baby, she's got it</i>

932
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,254
<i>Yeah, baby, she's got it</i>

933
00:45:37,714 --> 00:45:39,215
<i>She's got it</i>

934
00:45:39,299 --> 00:45:43,052
This whole walk home I've been putting off
asking you to my mom's party.

935
00:45:43,136 --> 00:45:45,054
You know, teachers, old people,

936
00:45:45,138 --> 00:45:46,347
total rager.

937
00:45:46,431 --> 00:45:49,726
And it's Saturday afternoon,
as if it's for a child, so, even better.

938
00:45:49,809 --> 00:45:53,229
Uh, as fun as that sounds, I...

939
00:45:53,313 --> 00:45:57,317
See, that excitement level was exactly why
I put this off until the end of our walk.

940
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:00,320
But lucky for me, your dad's totally
gonna make you go, anyway.

941
00:46:00,403 --> 00:46:02,989
Yeah, I think him and my mom,
like, have something going on.

942
00:46:03,072 --> 00:46:05,992
Ew.
Anyways, see you at the party.

943
00:46:06,409 --> 00:46:07,702
Wait. What?

944
00:46:08,328 --> 00:46:09,829
You're welcome.

945
00:46:10,955 --> 00:46:11,956
Ew.

946
00:46:15,919 --> 00:46:19,005
<i>I was all caught up for a while</i>

947
00:46:19,088 --> 00:46:21,049
I've dug up great stuff on Grant,
so just, uh, wait here,

948
00:46:21,132 --> 00:46:22,467
and don't steal anything. Okay?

949
00:46:22,550 --> 00:46:23,551
Great.

950
00:46:25,845 --> 00:46:28,473
<i>Too bad I was acting like a child</i>

951
00:46:29,974 --> 00:46:33,102
<i>I'd rather act like the woman I am</i>

952
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:50,745
- What the shit is this?
- Wow.

953
00:46:50,829 --> 00:46:53,832
Your grasp of the English language
continues to astound.

954
00:46:53,915 --> 00:46:57,710
Uh, wow. Well, uh, I guess I don't
redecorate as much as I should.

955
00:46:57,794 --> 00:46:59,337
Oh, hardy-fuckin'-har.

956
00:46:59,420 --> 00:47:02,090
You have a picture of me. Framed.

957
00:47:02,173 --> 00:47:05,093
I know you probably didn't notice this,
but I'm in the picture as well.

958
00:47:07,387 --> 00:47:09,055
God, we were like nine.

959
00:47:09,639 --> 00:47:11,224
Dude, why do you even have this?

960
00:47:11,307 --> 00:47:12,976
I like it. Okay?

961
00:47:13,351 --> 00:47:15,145
Look at these kids, all right?
They're friends.

962
00:47:15,228 --> 00:47:16,813
No one's judging.

963
00:47:16,896 --> 00:47:18,439
No one has their feelings hurt.

964
00:47:18,523 --> 00:47:21,484
So I keep this around.

965
00:47:22,610 --> 00:47:23,903
You got a problem with that?

966
00:47:25,196 --> 00:47:26,197
No.

967
00:47:26,281 --> 00:47:30,201
Now, if you're ready
to set your psychological sex trap,

968
00:47:30,285 --> 00:47:32,704
I've got a decade of backstory.

969
00:47:32,787 --> 00:47:35,582
I can't express how much
I don't wanna go inside.

970
00:47:35,665 --> 00:47:37,709
Okay, you know what?
It's time that you understand

971
00:47:37,792 --> 00:47:39,919
what you want doesn't really matter.

972
00:47:40,003 --> 00:47:41,379
Take me, for example.

973
00:47:41,462 --> 00:47:44,632
I wake up every morning
and I drag myself to a job that I hate.

974
00:47:44,716 --> 00:47:47,302
Ah, life lesson. Neat.

975
00:47:47,385 --> 00:47:48,803
The point is...

976
00:47:48,887 --> 00:47:52,557
I'm gonna be fine as long as
you don't cock-block me tonight.

977
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:53,641
<i>Comprende?</i>

978
00:47:53,850 --> 00:47:54,851
Ew!

979
00:47:56,269 --> 00:47:58,771
- Daddy! Gross. Yes.
- Gross!

980
00:47:58,855 --> 00:47:59,898
Get in there and be social.

981
00:48:11,993 --> 00:48:12,994
Oh, yeah.

982
00:48:14,996 --> 00:48:16,789
It's on like <i>Donkey Kong.</i>

983
00:48:17,457 --> 00:48:18,666
- Donkey what?
- See ya later.

984
00:48:21,878 --> 00:48:23,880
Party in the house!

985
00:48:25,465 --> 00:48:27,342
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, what are you doing here?

986
00:48:27,425 --> 00:48:29,594
- No way.
- What up, bitches?

987
00:48:29,677 --> 00:48:31,638
- What?
- Is this a wake or what?

988
00:48:31,721 --> 00:48:33,848
I'm super confused.
Why are you all here right now?

989
00:48:33,932 --> 00:48:34,933
Hey, Annie.

990
00:48:35,642 --> 00:48:36,935
- Ladies.
- Hey.

991
00:48:37,018 --> 00:48:39,229
Thank you for all coming
to my mom's lame party.

992
00:48:39,312 --> 00:48:41,356
Wait. I didn't know
you guys all knew Grant that well.

993
00:48:41,439 --> 00:48:44,359
Yeah, I only bought him, like,
three pumpkin spice lattes this week.

994
00:48:44,442 --> 00:48:45,443
Right?

995
00:48:45,527 --> 00:48:48,238
Well, he, um, carried me to safety
when I broke my leg.

996
00:48:49,447 --> 00:48:51,074
- When did you... Which one?
- Break your... Yeah.

997
00:48:51,157 --> 00:48:53,076
It's much better now.
Stephanie, what are you doing here?

998
00:48:53,159 --> 00:48:54,494
- I came with Emmett.
- Who?

999
00:48:54,577 --> 00:48:55,703
That kid. Yeah.

1000
00:48:55,787 --> 00:48:57,914
So, he's Grant's best friend
and I'm friends with Emmett,

1001
00:48:57,997 --> 00:48:59,415
so it's kind of like
Grant and I are besties.

1002
00:48:59,499 --> 00:49:00,500
- Right?
- Is it?

1003
00:49:00,583 --> 00:49:01,751
Sure.

1004
00:49:01,835 --> 00:49:03,169
Oh, and where's your boyfriend, Kayla?

1005
00:49:03,253 --> 00:49:05,421
I told you, Stephanie,

1006
00:49:05,505 --> 00:49:07,131
- we broke up.
- Mmm.

1007
00:49:07,215 --> 00:49:09,509
You keep on saying
how nonstop the sex has been, right?

1008
00:49:09,592 --> 00:49:11,052
- Yeah.
- It's been like dirty

1009
00:49:11,135 --> 00:49:12,595
and hungry, you know what I mean?

1010
00:49:12,679 --> 00:49:13,680
Okay, uh, let's have a little...

1011
00:49:13,763 --> 00:49:15,181
Can we have a little girls',
like, powwow, just outside?

1012
00:49:15,265 --> 00:49:16,307
No, I'm fine.

1013
00:49:16,391 --> 00:49:19,644
Okay, so apparently
you've all chosen Grant for the pact?

1014
00:49:19,727 --> 00:49:21,604
Yeah, he's smart and articulate.

1015
00:49:21,688 --> 00:49:22,772
Yeah, nice guy.

1016
00:49:22,856 --> 00:49:24,065
- I mean, he hasn't hit on me once.
- Hmm.

1017
00:49:24,149 --> 00:49:27,360
Have we considered
if that's because he's just not into you?

1018
00:49:27,443 --> 00:49:28,444
Screw you.

1019
00:49:28,528 --> 00:49:30,613
Rule number three,
I'm calling you on your bullshit.

1020
00:49:30,697 --> 00:49:32,574
Making Tim jealous is not your goal.

1021
00:49:32,657 --> 00:49:34,534
And as your accountability
partner, I'm just reminding you,

1022
00:49:34,617 --> 00:49:36,995
- neither is kissing up to Grant's mom.
- Oh.

1023
00:49:37,078 --> 00:49:38,746
Rule number two, we are best friends.

1024
00:49:38,830 --> 00:49:39,831
We should support each other.

1025
00:49:39,914 --> 00:49:41,666
We shouldn't let some boy
come between us.

1026
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:43,001
Us?

1027
00:49:44,252 --> 00:49:45,920
I meant between you.

1028
00:49:46,004 --> 00:49:48,965
Right. 'Cause Emmett and I have seen you
having little French lessons with Grant.

1029
00:49:49,048 --> 00:49:50,049
Uh-huh. We've been studying.

1030
00:49:50,133 --> 00:49:51,176
"Studying."

1031
00:49:51,259 --> 00:49:52,427
I have a boyfriend.

1032
00:49:52,510 --> 00:49:55,054
God, yes, Annie, we get it. Thank you!

1033
00:49:55,138 --> 00:49:56,139
Hey!

1034
00:49:56,723 --> 00:49:57,724
Everything cool?

1035
00:49:58,224 --> 00:49:59,976
You know,
we should just table this. Okay?

1036
00:50:00,059 --> 00:50:01,060
- But...
- Tabled!

1037
00:50:01,352 --> 00:50:02,395
Uh...

1038
00:50:02,479 --> 00:50:03,897
Stifler.

1039
00:50:04,314 --> 00:50:05,732
It doesn't seem like he's that into her.

1040
00:50:05,815 --> 00:50:07,692
Hmm. I thought you didn't care.

1041
00:50:07,775 --> 00:50:09,777
I'm just making an observation.

1042
00:50:10,612 --> 00:50:11,613
Right.

1043
00:50:11,696 --> 00:50:13,364
You two, guard the stairs.

1044
00:50:13,448 --> 00:50:14,782
I'm gonna do some recon.

1045
00:50:14,866 --> 00:50:15,867
What does that mean?

1046
00:50:15,950 --> 00:50:19,078
You know, check out his room,
scope it out, smell his underwear.

1047
00:50:19,162 --> 00:50:20,580
- I don't know. Bing-bang-boom.
- What?

1048
00:50:20,663 --> 00:50:23,166
That's kind of an invasion
of his privacy.

1049
00:50:23,625 --> 00:50:25,335
- It is?
- Hmm?

1050
00:50:25,418 --> 00:50:27,253
- Oh, my God, his privacy!
- Yeah.

1051
00:50:27,337 --> 00:50:29,339
- Just guard the stairs, nerds.
- Okay.

1052
00:50:32,759 --> 00:50:33,760
Oh, boy.

1053
00:50:33,843 --> 00:50:37,013
You know, I think I'm gonna
do some recon work of my own.

1054
00:50:37,472 --> 00:50:38,806
- Okay. Bye.
- Bye.

1055
00:50:54,823 --> 00:50:59,661
{\an8}So, I do have some goodies,
but not enough to go around.

1056
00:50:59,744 --> 00:51:01,579
- Oh, I don't care if anybody...
- Hey, Annie's dad!

1057
00:51:01,663 --> 00:51:03,665
Principal Fisher.
I just wanted to tell you

1058
00:51:03,748 --> 00:51:06,835
that I am so excited to have
a strong female role model to look up to.

1059
00:51:06,918 --> 00:51:09,254
- I was thinking maybe you and I could...
- Aw! Oliver!

1060
00:51:09,337 --> 00:51:10,338
Hmm.

1061
00:51:10,797 --> 00:51:12,173
- Uh, uh...
- Hi. Principal Fisher

1062
00:51:12,257 --> 00:51:14,509
doesn't wanna talk to you anymore,
but I would love to.

1063
00:51:14,592 --> 00:51:16,928
- Do you wanna hear my JFK?
- Who are you?

1064
00:51:17,011 --> 00:51:18,680
Something's been
missing out of my life.

1065
00:51:18,763 --> 00:51:20,890
You know, like a void
that needs to be filled, even.

1066
00:51:22,058 --> 00:51:23,101
- Ow!
- Oh, sorry.

1067
00:51:23,184 --> 00:51:25,061
Okay, look,
I sense some resistance

1068
00:51:25,145 --> 00:51:26,521
and I really don't know
what the problem is,

1069
00:51:26,604 --> 00:51:28,731
so if you could just, like,
clear that up for me, that'd be great.

1070
00:51:28,815 --> 00:51:29,816
Okay.

1071
00:51:29,899 --> 00:51:32,986
Uh, well, for one, you hit me in the head
with a lacrosse ball, so...

1072
00:51:33,069 --> 00:51:34,487
Dude, it was an accident.

1073
00:51:34,571 --> 00:51:35,738
- Was it?
- Yeah.

1074
00:51:35,822 --> 00:51:37,574
Mmm... I mean, I saw the Venmo.

1075
00:51:37,657 --> 00:51:40,410
You got paid 20 bucks
for knocking out the new hot guy.

1076
00:51:40,493 --> 00:51:42,662
Well, have you seen yourself?

1077
00:51:43,705 --> 00:51:45,123
I forgot something in my room.

1078
00:51:45,206 --> 00:51:46,833
- I'll be back.
- All right.

1079
00:51:46,916 --> 00:51:49,002
- Nice ass.
- Yeah, thank you.

1080
00:51:51,045 --> 00:51:52,463
Oh, shit.

1081
00:51:53,882 --> 00:51:55,008
What the...

1082
00:51:59,846 --> 00:52:01,014
Oh.

1083
00:52:03,183 --> 00:52:04,476
Grant!

1084
00:52:04,559 --> 00:52:05,643
Hi.

1085
00:52:06,227 --> 00:52:07,479
Hey, you're, uh...

1086
00:52:07,562 --> 00:52:08,897
You're missing the party.

1087
00:52:08,980 --> 00:52:12,025
Yeah, I'm, uh, kinda hiding, actually.

1088
00:52:12,108 --> 00:52:16,863
That girl Stephanie is so extra
and kind of terrifying.

1089
00:52:16,946 --> 00:52:17,947
Oh.

1090
00:52:18,406 --> 00:52:21,284
Uh, for your information,
guys are obsessed with her

1091
00:52:21,367 --> 00:52:24,078
and she also happens to be
a really great person.

1092
00:52:24,162 --> 00:52:25,163
So, um...

1093
00:52:25,580 --> 00:52:26,831
I didn't mean anything by it.

1094
00:52:26,915 --> 00:52:29,209
She's really nice. Just not my type.

1095
00:52:30,502 --> 00:52:31,586
You are.

1096
00:52:32,712 --> 00:52:34,881
Uh...

1097
00:52:36,424 --> 00:52:39,719
I'm sorry. I know you have a boyfriend,

1098
00:52:39,802 --> 00:52:42,931
and I'm not supposed to
say or feel anything,

1099
00:52:43,014 --> 00:52:45,517
and I don't wanna ruin
the only friendship I have.

1100
00:52:45,809 --> 00:52:46,935
No.

1101
00:52:47,185 --> 00:52:48,186
No?

1102
00:53:03,952 --> 00:53:05,245
Oh, hi.

1103
00:53:06,079 --> 00:53:07,747
Breaking news, bitches!

1104
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:10,041
Oh, shit.

1105
00:53:16,214 --> 00:53:17,215
Whoa!

1106
00:53:18,925 --> 00:53:19,926
Oh, shit.

1107
00:53:23,638 --> 00:53:25,557
Wow. It is like <i>Donkey Kong.</i>

1108
00:53:26,850 --> 00:53:27,851
I'm okay.

1109
00:53:35,441 --> 00:53:36,442
Ow.

1110
00:53:38,027 --> 00:53:39,696
Okay, what the hell was that?

1111
00:53:39,779 --> 00:53:41,865
Let me answer that question
with another question.

1112
00:53:41,948 --> 00:53:43,408
What the hell is this?

1113
00:53:43,491 --> 00:53:44,492
Annie!

1114
00:53:44,909 --> 00:53:46,619
You said that you weren't
even interested in Grant.

1115
00:53:46,703 --> 00:53:48,621
First of all, shh.
Second of all, delete that.

1116
00:53:48,705 --> 00:53:50,456
- I... I didn't do anything.
- "I didn't do..."

1117
00:53:50,540 --> 00:53:52,750
You were practically eating his face.

1118
00:53:52,834 --> 00:53:55,003
- That's dramatic.
- What'd it taste like?

1119
00:53:55,086 --> 00:53:56,546
Guys! I am sticky and embarrassed

1120
00:53:56,629 --> 00:53:58,673
and I just got rejected by a man
for the first time in my life.

1121
00:53:58,756 --> 00:54:00,008
- Oh, boo-hoo!
- Go cry me a river.

1122
00:54:00,091 --> 00:54:01,092
Let's just call it a day.

1123
00:54:01,176 --> 00:54:02,552
- Cool?
- Fine.

1124
00:54:02,635 --> 00:54:04,345
Fine. I don't even care!

1125
00:54:05,597 --> 00:54:08,016
Hey, Annie. Can we talk real quick?

1126
00:54:08,099 --> 00:54:11,561
- Uh, nothing to talk about.
- Really?

1127
00:54:11,644 --> 00:54:14,814
How about the girl doing a photo shoot
in my lacrosse uniform

1128
00:54:14,898 --> 00:54:16,941
or I don't know,
how we kissed and you hit me?

1129
00:54:17,025 --> 00:54:18,193
We did not kiss.

1130
00:54:18,943 --> 00:54:19,944
You kissed me.

1131
00:54:20,236 --> 00:54:21,905
Unannounced. Without permission.

1132
00:54:21,988 --> 00:54:24,491
Come on. You gave me permission
with your face.

1133
00:54:25,450 --> 00:54:28,119
You gave me kiss face.
It was... It was like...

1134
00:54:28,703 --> 00:54:30,872
- Oh, my face did not do that.
- Yeah.

1135
00:54:30,955 --> 00:54:31,956
- Yes, it did.
- It did not.

1136
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:33,833
- That's exactly what it did.
- I'm... I'm just gonna go home.

1137
00:54:33,917 --> 00:54:35,418
- Okay.
- So it was good seeing you.

1138
00:54:36,711 --> 00:54:37,754
- You live that way.
- I live that way.

1139
00:54:37,837 --> 00:54:39,297
- Yup.
- I knew that.

1140
00:55:18,127 --> 00:55:19,504
<i>Bonjour.</i>

1141
00:56:12,182 --> 00:56:13,391
No, no, no.

1142
00:56:13,808 --> 00:56:14,934
No, no, no.

1143
00:56:15,393 --> 00:56:16,936
You don't like Grant.

1144
00:56:17,020 --> 00:56:19,397
You love Jason.

1145
00:56:29,157 --> 00:56:31,618
Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

1146
00:56:35,622 --> 00:56:37,415
Uh, biology is this way.

1147
00:56:37,499 --> 00:56:38,625
I'm going to see Jason.

1148
00:56:38,708 --> 00:56:40,460
This waiting around is making me crazy.

1149
00:56:40,543 --> 00:56:43,463
Wait. Are you cutting class?
You never cut class.

1150
00:56:43,546 --> 00:56:45,590
Some things are more important.
He's only three hours away.

1151
00:56:45,673 --> 00:56:48,051
I can get there, bang it out,
get my head straight,

1152
00:56:48,134 --> 00:56:49,427
be back before dinner.

1153
00:56:49,511 --> 00:56:51,763
- Annie, are you talking about...
- Sex!

1154
00:56:51,846 --> 00:56:54,849
I'm going to have sex
with the man that I love.

1155
00:56:54,933 --> 00:56:56,100
Yo, girl, go get you some!

1156
00:56:56,184 --> 00:56:57,560
No glove, no love!

1157
00:56:57,644 --> 00:57:00,480
Okay! I'm so excited for you.

1158
00:57:01,064 --> 00:57:02,565
Let me get this straight.

1159
00:57:02,649 --> 00:57:05,151
You went from Tim's girlfriend
to his side piece.

1160
00:57:06,277 --> 00:57:08,404
And you're happy with that?
Isn't that kind of like a demotion?

1161
00:57:08,488 --> 00:57:10,240
No, you don't get it. It's casual.

1162
00:57:10,323 --> 00:57:11,699
Girl, I invented casual.

1163
00:57:11,783 --> 00:57:12,992
That's not what you're doing.

1164
00:57:13,076 --> 00:57:14,452
What you're doing is
pretending it's casual

1165
00:57:14,536 --> 00:57:16,371
so you can still fuck the guy you like.

1166
00:57:17,413 --> 00:57:19,374
- Oh, my God.
- There ya go.

1167
00:57:19,457 --> 00:57:21,584
I do still like him.

1168
00:57:21,668 --> 00:57:27,006
Our casual, no-strings-attached sex
is neither casual nor without strings!

1169
00:57:27,090 --> 00:57:29,259
- There are feelings!
- Does Tim know that?

1170
00:57:29,676 --> 00:57:32,136
No. No, he does not, but he will.

1171
00:57:32,846 --> 00:57:34,722
He's gonna know right now.

1172
00:57:35,598 --> 00:57:37,350
- Okay.
- Kayla?

1173
00:57:39,018 --> 00:57:40,687
- She okay?
- Who knows?

1174
00:57:40,770 --> 00:57:43,690
Well, get this.
Annie just left school to go see Jason.

1175
00:57:43,773 --> 00:57:45,358
No shit! Good for her.

1176
00:57:45,441 --> 00:57:47,277
- You know what this means, though?
- What?

1177
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:48,361
Annie wins.

1178
00:57:49,571 --> 00:57:52,448
She does. After she does the deed,
she's fulfilled her goal.

1179
00:57:52,532 --> 00:57:54,033
Kayla is still obsessed with Tim.

1180
00:57:54,117 --> 00:57:55,702
I'm absolutely nowhere.

1181
00:57:55,785 --> 00:57:58,163
And Grant seems to be the only guy
in school who doesn't lust after you.

1182
00:57:59,205 --> 00:58:00,456
It's not over yet.

1183
00:58:00,540 --> 00:58:01,708
Oh, come on, Steph.

1184
00:58:01,791 --> 00:58:03,168
The MORP is in a week.

1185
00:58:03,251 --> 00:58:04,961
Champions are made in the last quarter.

1186
00:58:05,587 --> 00:58:07,172
Game just got interesting.

1187
00:58:12,260 --> 00:58:14,762
Hey. Hey. Glad you came.

1188
00:58:14,846 --> 00:58:17,140
- Um, I need to talk to you.
- Okay.

1189
00:58:17,724 --> 00:58:18,975
Why are we in the library?

1190
00:58:19,058 --> 00:58:20,477
Nobody ever comes back here.

1191
00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:22,020
Dangerous...

1192
00:58:22,103 --> 00:58:23,563
Sexy, huh?

1193
00:58:26,149 --> 00:58:27,192
Oh, you hate it.

1194
00:58:27,275 --> 00:58:28,401
God, I'm sorry.

1195
00:58:28,485 --> 00:58:30,361
It was such a stupid idea.

1196
00:58:30,445 --> 00:58:33,281
Look, I respect you
and I just want you to know

1197
00:58:33,364 --> 00:58:36,034
that this is always a safe space.

1198
00:58:38,036 --> 00:58:39,621
All right, pants off, make it quick.

1199
00:58:39,704 --> 00:58:41,206
I'm sure that will not be a problem. Oh!

1200
00:58:43,750 --> 00:58:45,543
Principal Fisher? Oh.

1201
00:58:45,877 --> 00:58:47,170
Sorry. I can come back.

1202
00:58:47,253 --> 00:58:48,421
No, that's okay.

1203
00:58:48,505 --> 00:58:50,840
Well, it's kind of a weird situation.

1204
00:58:50,924 --> 00:58:53,259
- See, I made this pact...
- No, no, no.

1205
00:58:53,343 --> 00:58:54,385
Sorry.

1206
00:58:54,511 --> 00:58:55,512
Um...

1207
00:58:55,845 --> 00:58:57,055
I made this pact with my friends

1208
00:58:57,138 --> 00:58:59,641
that I would try and date somebody
who I'm really proud of

1209
00:58:59,724 --> 00:59:00,934
and who really gets me,

1210
00:59:01,017 --> 00:59:03,728
but I feel like in doing so,
I've kind of lost sight of myself.

1211
00:59:03,812 --> 00:59:05,939
I mean, I thought that Grant
was the guy that I wanted

1212
00:59:06,022 --> 00:59:09,526
because he's smart
and he's cute and he's socially conscious.

1213
00:59:09,609 --> 00:59:11,361
- Great job on that, by the way.
- Thanks.

1214
00:59:11,444 --> 00:59:13,196
But I don't even know who I've become.

1215
00:59:13,279 --> 00:59:17,367
Like, I'm pretending to be weak
and helpless to manipulate a man?

1216
00:59:17,450 --> 00:59:19,035
What would Ruth Bader Ginsburg say?

1217
00:59:19,118 --> 00:59:20,245
I mean, I don't need a man
to complete me.

1218
00:59:20,328 --> 00:59:23,164
I'm a strong, smart,
independent woman. Right?

1219
00:59:23,248 --> 00:59:26,084
Michelle, there is nothing wrong
with wanting to be in a relationship.

1220
00:59:26,167 --> 00:59:28,503
Everybody deserves a little romance.

1221
00:59:28,586 --> 00:59:30,964
But I do think
you're barking up the wrong tree.

1222
00:59:31,047 --> 00:59:33,049
I mean, if Grant were
the right guy for you,

1223
00:59:33,132 --> 00:59:35,718
you wouldn't have to be
anything but yourself.

1224
00:59:35,802 --> 00:59:38,805
It does, however,
make me think of another young man,

1225
00:59:38,888 --> 00:59:42,433
a young man who happened
to score 1,590 on his SAT,

1226
00:59:42,517 --> 00:59:44,894
a young man who volunteers
every single weekend.

1227
00:59:46,062 --> 00:59:47,689
You're describing my ideal mate.

1228
00:59:47,772 --> 00:59:51,234
He is obsessed with presidential history.

1229
00:59:51,317 --> 00:59:52,735
Are you shitting me, Principal Fisher?

1230
00:59:52,819 --> 00:59:55,029
I shit you not, Michelle.
Watch your language.

1231
00:59:55,113 --> 00:59:58,783
His name is Oliver Hawthorn,
and you work with him every single day,

1232
00:59:58,867 --> 01:00:01,327
and he clearly has
an obvious crush on you.

1233
01:00:01,744 --> 01:00:03,246
Now get out, I'm very busy.

1234
01:00:03,830 --> 01:00:05,290
Right. Okay.

1235
01:00:06,875 --> 01:00:08,084
- Bye-bye.
- Thank you.

1236
01:00:08,751 --> 01:00:11,129
Oh, well, I mean, what can you expect?

1237
01:00:11,212 --> 01:00:12,672
She's been through a lot.

1238
01:00:18,761 --> 01:00:22,015
So, um, I hear you're into presidents.

1239
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:24,225
Uh, just Kennedy.

1240
01:00:25,518 --> 01:00:28,688
"My fellow Americans,
ask not what your country can do for you.

1241
01:00:28,771 --> 01:00:30,023
"Ask what you can do for your country."

1242
01:00:30,815 --> 01:00:32,066
It's not
a very good impression,

1243
01:00:32,150 --> 01:00:33,151
but I mean, I'm trying to perfect it.

1244
01:00:33,234 --> 01:00:35,695
- Um, I... I actually have to go.
- Okay.

1245
01:00:35,778 --> 01:00:37,363
- Right now.
- Oh.

1246
01:00:37,447 --> 01:00:38,448
Bye.

1247
01:00:41,409 --> 01:00:42,702
Oh, man.

1248
01:00:42,785 --> 01:00:45,497
Since we broke up,
the sex just keeps getting better, right?

1249
01:00:48,500 --> 01:00:51,252
Hey, what's up? You okay?

1250
01:00:53,171 --> 01:00:56,716
What are the odds, uh,
this isn't just meaningless sex to you?

1251
01:01:00,011 --> 01:01:04,265
What are the odds, um,
that you're actually in love with me,

1252
01:01:05,350 --> 01:01:07,477
but you're just afraid
of your feelings

1253
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:12,148
and, um, deep in your heart
you wanna stay with me?

1254
01:01:17,987 --> 01:01:19,072
That's what I thought.

1255
01:01:19,906 --> 01:01:22,992
Um, I can't do this casual thing.

1256
01:01:24,619 --> 01:01:26,246
Not with you.

1257
01:01:26,955 --> 01:01:28,414
I just want more.

1258
01:01:31,209 --> 01:01:32,502
I deserve more.

1259
01:01:36,047 --> 01:01:37,131
Bye, Tim.

1260
01:01:43,847 --> 01:01:45,515
Hey, Jason, it's me.

1261
01:01:45,598 --> 01:01:48,643
I can't really talk right now,
and I know you're in class anyway,

1262
01:01:48,726 --> 01:01:50,770
but I have a surprise for you.

1263
01:01:50,854 --> 01:01:52,981
So, call me back
when you get this, okay?

1264
01:01:53,064 --> 01:01:54,732
I love you. Bye.

1265
01:01:54,816 --> 01:01:56,526
<i>Don't let this slip away</i>

1266
01:01:56,609 --> 01:01:58,778
<i>Maybe this road leads to Rome</i>

1267
01:01:58,862 --> 01:02:01,573
<i>But, baby, you make me feel at home</i>

1268
01:02:01,656 --> 01:02:05,410
<i>Together we're unstoppable
It's undeniable</i>

1269
01:02:05,493 --> 01:02:08,121
<i>Let's go, go, go, go</i>

1270
01:02:08,204 --> 01:02:11,374
<i>Let's go all the way tonight</i>

1271
01:02:11,457 --> 01:02:14,711
<i>Take me all the way tonight</i>

1272
01:02:14,794 --> 01:02:17,672
<i>Baby, we can make this last</i>

1273
01:02:17,755 --> 01:02:20,717
<i>Nothing's gonna hold us back</i>

1274
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:24,053
<i>Let's take it all the way tonight</i>

1275
01:02:24,137 --> 01:02:27,390
<i>Leave it up to fate tonight</i>

1276
01:02:27,473 --> 01:02:28,516
Thanks, buddy.

1277
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:31,019
<i>So let's go all the way tonight</i>

1278
01:02:31,102 --> 01:02:33,146
Up top, baby. Hit me! One more.

1279
01:02:33,229 --> 01:02:36,900
<i>Let's take it all the way tonight</i>

1280
01:02:36,983 --> 01:02:40,445
<i>Leave it up to fate tonight</i>

1281
01:02:40,528 --> 01:02:43,823
<i>So let's go all the way tonight</i>

1282
01:02:43,907 --> 01:02:47,952
{\an8}<i>Let's go all the way tonight, tonight</i>

1283
01:02:50,538 --> 01:02:53,208
I'm gonna pop.
I'm gonna pop. I'm gonna pop.

1284
01:02:53,291 --> 01:02:54,834
Oh, I'm popping!

1285
01:02:55,460 --> 01:02:56,461
Oh.

1286
01:02:56,544 --> 01:02:58,338
Um, Annie.

1287
01:02:58,463 --> 01:03:00,340
Are you kidding me?

1288
01:03:00,507 --> 01:03:02,217
Uh...

1289
01:03:02,300 --> 01:03:03,468
It's not what it looks like.

1290
01:03:03,551 --> 01:03:04,802
- It's not?
- No.

1291
01:03:04,886 --> 01:03:06,304
Um, she's my math tutor.

1292
01:03:06,387 --> 01:03:07,639
Was she tutoring you right now?

1293
01:03:07,722 --> 01:03:08,973
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, my God!

1294
01:03:09,057 --> 01:03:10,475
- Just calm down.
- Calm down?

1295
01:03:10,558 --> 01:03:12,977
You think telling me to calm down
is gonna make me calm down?

1296
01:03:13,061 --> 01:03:14,562
Well, you're acting a little hysterical.

1297
01:03:14,646 --> 01:03:17,649
Am I? Am I a little bit hysterical?

1298
01:03:18,858 --> 01:03:20,735
That really hurt bad!

1299
01:03:23,404 --> 01:03:24,656
Wait here.

1300
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:33,081
Annie. Annie.

1301
01:03:33,164 --> 01:03:35,124
Annie, honey. Honey. Honey.

1302
01:03:35,208 --> 01:03:38,253
Sorry. Annie, um,
talk to you one second?

1303
01:03:38,336 --> 01:03:39,504
- What?
- Please.

1304
01:03:39,587 --> 01:03:41,130
What do you wanna say?

1305
01:03:41,548 --> 01:03:44,717
I don't know.
Long distance relationships are rough.

1306
01:03:44,801 --> 01:03:46,010
Oh, is that right?

1307
01:03:46,094 --> 01:03:48,012
Yeah, I mean,
there's so many hot chicks here.

1308
01:03:48,638 --> 01:03:50,598
You're hot too, obviously.
Of course.

1309
01:03:50,682 --> 01:03:52,308
It's just, you know,
you're not college-hot.

1310
01:03:52,392 --> 01:03:53,643
Your brain is hot.

1311
01:03:53,726 --> 01:03:56,896
Jason, I'm breaking up with you.

1312
01:03:56,980 --> 01:04:00,024
I only came here because I felt guilty.

1313
01:04:00,108 --> 01:04:02,110
I like someone else.

1314
01:04:02,193 --> 01:04:05,363
He kissed me and I liked it,
and it freaked me out.

1315
01:04:05,446 --> 01:04:06,447
Okay.

1316
01:04:06,531 --> 01:04:09,450
So, I thought if I came here,
if I saw you,

1317
01:04:09,534 --> 01:04:12,996
if we made love, then my feelings for you
would come rushing back.

1318
01:04:14,247 --> 01:04:15,582
When I saw you with her,

1319
01:04:16,708 --> 01:04:19,878
after the anger, you know what I felt?

1320
01:04:21,546 --> 01:04:22,755
I felt relief.

1321
01:04:24,132 --> 01:04:25,133
Some dude kissed you?

1322
01:04:26,885 --> 01:04:27,886
What?

1323
01:04:29,888 --> 01:04:32,098
You're just really not
who I wanted you to be.

1324
01:04:34,392 --> 01:04:36,519
Wow, that was... That was rough.

1325
01:04:39,063 --> 01:04:41,191
Nice towel, douchebag.

1326
01:04:55,330 --> 01:04:56,331
Oh.

1327
01:04:56,789 --> 01:04:57,790
Oh.

1328
01:04:57,999 --> 01:04:59,501
Annie, have you been crying?

1329
01:05:00,126 --> 01:05:01,628
Oh, honey.

1330
01:05:01,711 --> 01:05:03,463
Oh, I think I know what this is.

1331
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:04,881
Annie, don't worry.

1332
01:05:04,964 --> 01:05:07,425
Ellen's not trying to become
your new mommy.

1333
01:05:07,759 --> 01:05:11,095
- Oh, my God.
- Honey, that's not why she's upset.

1334
01:05:11,179 --> 01:05:14,766
Clearly, she's mortified 'cause she just
walked in on us about to have sex.

1335
01:05:15,308 --> 01:05:17,268
Yeah. Yeah. What she said.

1336
01:05:17,560 --> 01:05:21,523
Oh. No, this is...
This is just a casual thing.

1337
01:05:21,606 --> 01:05:23,441
I think the kids call it F-buddies.

1338
01:05:23,525 --> 01:05:25,109
On that note, okay.

1339
01:05:25,193 --> 01:05:26,986
Oh, God. Oh, God.

1340
01:05:30,740 --> 01:05:33,535
Annie? Can I come in.

1341
01:05:33,910 --> 01:05:34,953
Okay.

1342
01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:53,096
Annie, did, um...
Did what you see downstairs upset you?

1343
01:05:53,179 --> 01:05:55,557
Oh, no, it makes perfect sense.

1344
01:05:56,099 --> 01:05:57,851
Everyone's having sex but me.

1345
01:05:58,518 --> 01:05:59,561
Sex?

1346
01:05:59,644 --> 01:06:02,647
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to say it.

1347
01:06:04,065 --> 01:06:05,733
I broke up with Jason.

1348
01:06:07,110 --> 01:06:08,111
Oh.

1349
01:06:08,444 --> 01:06:09,946
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.

1350
01:06:11,239 --> 01:06:12,240
I'm not.

1351
01:06:14,868 --> 01:06:15,910
Oh, babe.

1352
01:06:15,994 --> 01:06:19,789
You are the most
incredible person I know.

1353
01:06:19,873 --> 01:06:22,834
You're so smart, you're so funny.

1354
01:06:23,710 --> 01:06:25,170
You are so beautiful.

1355
01:06:25,795 --> 01:06:27,505
I don't need a pep talk, Dad.

1356
01:06:27,589 --> 01:06:30,341
That Jason never deserved you.

1357
01:06:32,468 --> 01:06:36,931
And I never liked the guy, so there!

1358
01:06:37,015 --> 01:06:38,141
Wait. Really?

1359
01:06:38,224 --> 01:06:40,727
No. He was a total brobag.

1360
01:06:42,937 --> 01:06:44,439
Mmm.

1361
01:06:44,856 --> 01:06:46,107
I love you, Dad.

1362
01:06:47,233 --> 01:06:48,526
I love you too, babe.

1363
01:06:59,829 --> 01:07:02,373
- Grant. Hey-hey.
- Hey.

1364
01:07:02,457 --> 01:07:05,460
So, I'm having a little gathering
at my place tonight,

1365
01:07:05,543 --> 01:07:06,586
if you wanna come.

1366
01:07:07,295 --> 01:07:09,464
Cool. Have you seen Annie, by chance?

1367
01:07:10,215 --> 01:07:11,216
Oh.

1368
01:07:11,299 --> 01:07:13,885
Oh, well, she went to go
visit her boyfriend at college yesterday.

1369
01:07:13,968 --> 01:07:16,054
Yeah, they're probably
still banging it out.

1370
01:07:16,137 --> 01:07:17,138
But back to my thing.

1371
01:07:17,222 --> 01:07:20,767
So, my favorite saxophone
player, Vladimir Ullich, he's amazing...

1372
01:07:20,850 --> 01:07:22,977
- Are... Are you being serious?
- What?

1373
01:07:23,061 --> 01:07:25,897
Vladimir Ullich is, like,
my favorite musician of all time.

1374
01:07:25,980 --> 01:07:27,065
- Is it really?
- Yeah.

1375
01:07:27,148 --> 01:07:29,192
What... What are the odds
of that happening?

1376
01:07:29,275 --> 01:07:31,194
- Not high.
- Well, you should stop by then.

1377
01:07:31,277 --> 01:07:33,905
It's, like, a listening party.
Like, we'll play it all night.

1378
01:07:33,988 --> 01:07:35,949
I mean, I'm quirky, so...

1379
01:07:36,032 --> 01:07:37,408
You know what? Cool.

1380
01:07:37,492 --> 01:07:38,576
- Oh, great.
- Great.

1381
01:07:38,660 --> 01:07:39,828
- Great. I'll see you there.
- All right

1382
01:07:40,995 --> 01:07:42,205
<i>Baby, she's drop dead gorgeous</i>

1383
01:07:42,288 --> 01:07:43,456
<i>Drop dead</i>

1384
01:07:43,540 --> 01:07:46,042
Oh. My bad. I'll see you.

1385
01:07:46,125 --> 01:07:47,752
- Okay.
- Okay. Bye.

1386
01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:50,547
<i>Baby, she's drop dead gorgeous</i>

1387
01:07:50,630 --> 01:07:51,756
<i>Drop dead</i>

1388
01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:52,966
Freeze!

1389
01:07:53,216 --> 01:07:54,342
I got eyes on Annie.

1390
01:07:54,634 --> 01:07:55,635
Quad, stat.

1391
01:07:57,053 --> 01:07:59,430
- Well, well, well, look who it is.
- What's this?

1392
01:07:59,681 --> 01:08:01,307
- Well, well, well, look...
- I already did that.

1393
01:08:01,391 --> 01:08:02,725
- Damn it.
- Annie!

1394
01:08:02,809 --> 01:08:05,395
You disappear, lose your virginity,
no call, no text?

1395
01:08:05,478 --> 01:08:06,855
Like, you ghosted us.

1396
01:08:07,772 --> 01:08:09,774
Sorry. I've just been dead.

1397
01:08:10,316 --> 01:08:11,651
Because of all the sex?

1398
01:08:11,776 --> 01:08:13,528
Girl, this is a big-ass moment for you.

1399
01:08:13,653 --> 01:08:15,696
Shit!

1400
01:08:15,780 --> 01:08:18,158
Okay, we'll talk tonight? But you all
are coming to my party tonight, right?

1401
01:08:18,240 --> 01:08:19,575
- Yeah, duh.
- Okay. Great.

1402
01:08:19,659 --> 01:08:22,078
And since Annie has had
sweet Freeform TV sex,

1403
01:08:22,162 --> 01:08:24,622
I'll swoop in and seduce
the lovely Grant.

1404
01:08:24,706 --> 01:08:27,374
- Yes! What's up! Whoo!
- Yeah!

1405
01:08:27,458 --> 01:08:30,128
- Mama had sex!
- She ain't a virgin!

1406
01:08:31,296 --> 01:08:33,131
{\an8}<i>We make the beat go
boom, boom, boom</i>

1407
01:08:33,213 --> 01:08:34,883
<i>Boom, boom, boom</i>

1408
01:08:34,966 --> 01:08:38,093
<i>I like the sound it makes
Boom, boom, boom</i>

1409
01:08:38,178 --> 01:08:40,262
You do this kind of thing
every weekend?

1410
01:08:40,346 --> 01:08:43,307
Stifler's parties are the bedrock
on which East Great Falls was built.

1411
01:08:43,432 --> 01:08:46,811
And tonight, we're using the party gods
to seduce the new guy.

1412
01:08:46,895 --> 01:08:49,230
Wow. You need to sacrifice
a virgin or something?

1413
01:08:49,314 --> 01:08:50,690
No, don't worry, you're safe.

1414
01:08:50,773 --> 01:08:52,233
Okay, so we thought of everything, right?

1415
01:08:52,316 --> 01:08:54,819
- Grant's favorite music, snacks, drinks?
- Yeah.

1416
01:08:54,903 --> 01:08:56,404
I mean, I'm even wearing
his favorite color.

1417
01:08:56,613 --> 01:08:58,530
- You look beautiful.
- Thanks.

1418
01:08:58,907 --> 01:09:00,450
- He's a lucky guy.
- I know.

1419
01:09:01,159 --> 01:09:02,160
Oh.

1420
01:09:03,703 --> 01:09:04,954
Here you go.

1421
01:09:05,788 --> 01:09:07,123
What... What's this?

1422
01:09:07,664 --> 01:09:09,626
Wait, I pay you
and you buy me something?

1423
01:09:10,418 --> 01:09:11,628
That's fucking stupid.

1424
01:09:11,711 --> 01:09:14,672
- The usual response is, "Thank you."
- Mmm.

1425
01:09:18,927 --> 01:09:20,178
It's a lipstick case.

1426
01:09:22,430 --> 01:09:24,432
On, uh...
On which to make notches.

1427
01:09:26,684 --> 01:09:28,561
It's a present, a thoughtful one.

1428
01:09:30,521 --> 01:09:32,690
- I also wrapped it.
- Yeah, and you...

1429
01:09:32,774 --> 01:09:34,108
- And you wrapped it. Uh...
- Whoo!

1430
01:09:35,610 --> 01:09:37,779
Well, my girls are here
so I should... I should go.

1431
01:09:39,321 --> 01:09:40,782
- Sure.
- Yeah.

1432
01:09:41,699 --> 01:09:42,700
Hey, hey. Uh...

1433
01:09:44,494 --> 01:09:45,537
Good luck with Grant.

1434
01:09:46,287 --> 01:09:48,581
Emmett, thank you. For everything.

1435
01:09:49,414 --> 01:09:52,001
And my present. I love it.

1436
01:09:56,172 --> 01:09:58,633
What up, bitches!

1437
01:09:58,716 --> 01:10:00,218
Welcome to Bang-Grant Palooza!

1438
01:10:00,468 --> 01:10:02,262
- Ow.
- Hi, boo-boo, how are you?

1439
01:10:02,345 --> 01:10:03,972
Hey, you know, being a good winner

1440
01:10:04,055 --> 01:10:05,974
is just as important
as being a good loser, Steph.

1441
01:10:06,057 --> 01:10:07,684
- Oh, you're throwing shade?
- Way to read a room.

1442
01:10:08,268 --> 01:10:10,103
Guys, when did this
turn into a competition?

1443
01:10:10,186 --> 01:10:12,605
This was never supposed to be
about us competing for a boy.

1444
01:10:12,689 --> 01:10:14,399
Yeah, this was supposed
to make me feel better.

1445
01:10:15,024 --> 01:10:16,568
I don't feel better.

1446
01:10:16,693 --> 01:10:19,904
Now you're gonna smash Grant
when he really likes Annie.

1447
01:10:21,030 --> 01:10:22,323
- What?
- Uh, yeah.

1448
01:10:22,740 --> 01:10:23,825
When I was in his room,

1449
01:10:23,908 --> 01:10:26,619
he told her he liked her
and then he kissed her.

1450
01:10:26,703 --> 01:10:28,705
Okay, well you made it
sound like it was the other way around.

1451
01:10:28,788 --> 01:10:30,331
I can be a little extra sometimes.

1452
01:10:30,415 --> 01:10:31,583
Yeah, no shit!

1453
01:10:31,791 --> 01:10:33,126
- Hey, Emmett!
- What's up, man?

1454
01:10:33,209 --> 01:10:35,378
I mean, he's cute,
but he's not worth this.

1455
01:10:35,712 --> 01:10:37,297
- I'm out, guys.
- Ladies, hey.

1456
01:10:37,714 --> 01:10:39,632
- Look who I found.
- Hey.

1457
01:10:41,801 --> 01:10:43,344
Oh. Uh...

1458
01:10:43,970 --> 01:10:45,096
What do you think of Annie?

1459
01:10:45,430 --> 01:10:46,431
She's great.

1460
01:10:47,223 --> 01:10:50,518
I mean, she's cool, smart, kind, funny.

1461
01:10:50,602 --> 01:10:52,812
Awkward, but in a really
entertaining way.

1462
01:10:52,896 --> 01:10:56,274
- Is she here?
- Oh. No, no, no, but she will be. Right?

1463
01:10:56,357 --> 01:10:58,943
Uh, can you guys just,
like, talk for a sec?

1464
01:10:59,652 --> 01:11:00,653
I know. I know.

1465
01:11:06,201 --> 01:11:07,702
Oh, my God!

1466
01:11:08,077 --> 01:11:11,664
- You are tightly wound. Wow.
- Oh, my God.

1467
01:11:11,748 --> 01:11:12,999
I'm sorry.

1468
01:11:13,082 --> 01:11:15,502
- I didn't mean to scare you.
- That's okay. That's okay.

1469
01:11:15,585 --> 01:11:18,588
Your father and I
just worked up a real appetite tonight,

1470
01:11:18,671 --> 01:11:21,090
so I'm having a little ice cream.
You want some?

1471
01:11:21,174 --> 01:11:22,300
Um...

1472
01:11:22,383 --> 01:11:23,593
Sorry.

1473
01:11:24,886 --> 01:11:25,887
Um...

1474
01:11:26,513 --> 01:11:28,014
Yeah, you know what,
I'll have some ice cream.

1475
01:11:28,097 --> 01:11:29,098
Great.

1476
01:11:29,182 --> 01:11:31,059
She's not answering.

1477
01:11:31,142 --> 01:11:33,311
Well, go get her
and drag her ass here. Okay?

1478
01:11:33,603 --> 01:11:35,355
- Okay.
- Come with me.

1479
01:11:35,438 --> 01:11:36,981
Ready for some sexy saxophone?

1480
01:11:37,065 --> 01:11:38,650
- She's back.
- Let's go.

1481
01:11:39,567 --> 01:11:41,486
Hey! I need to talk to you.

1482
01:11:41,778 --> 01:11:43,863
Tim, I cannot do this right now.

1483
01:11:43,947 --> 01:11:44,948
We have to go get...

1484
01:11:45,031 --> 01:11:46,866
Kayla, please.

1485
01:11:47,242 --> 01:11:48,535
It's cool. I got this.

1486
01:11:49,702 --> 01:11:50,954
Good luck.

1487
01:11:52,205 --> 01:11:53,832
I thought there was a party tonight.

1488
01:11:54,749 --> 01:11:56,251
- Not in the mood.
- Hmm.

1489
01:11:57,794 --> 01:11:59,170
Can I talk to you about something?

1490
01:11:59,254 --> 01:12:01,130
Should I be afraid of
what you're about to say?

1491
01:12:01,464 --> 01:12:04,217
I can never tell. I just let it fly.

1492
01:12:04,300 --> 01:12:06,970
Here's the thing.
I've noticed that you've been upset

1493
01:12:07,053 --> 01:12:09,264
and my son has also been upset.

1494
01:12:09,347 --> 01:12:12,851
And I wonder if you're both upset
about the same thing.

1495
01:12:22,193 --> 01:12:24,612
- <i>What can I help you with?</i>
- Call Annie.

1496
01:12:24,779 --> 01:12:26,698
<i>Here's what I found on the web for Fannie.</i>

1497
01:12:26,781 --> 01:12:27,907
No, call Annie!

1498
01:12:27,991 --> 01:12:29,367
<i>Calling Manny's Pizza.</i>

1499
01:12:29,450 --> 01:12:31,619
- No! Annie!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait!

1500
01:12:34,330 --> 01:12:37,333
Gonna feel that tomorrow.

1501
01:12:37,500 --> 01:12:38,960
- <i>Hello. Manny's Pizza.</i>
- Oh, my God!

1502
01:12:39,335 --> 01:12:41,254
- <i>Hello!</i>
- Oliver?

1503
01:12:41,337 --> 01:12:43,423
- Oh, my God, please be okay.
- Hi.

1504
01:12:43,506 --> 01:12:44,799
What are you doing in front of my car?

1505
01:12:44,883 --> 01:12:46,092
I'm trying to stop you from leaving.

1506
01:12:46,551 --> 01:12:47,677
I mean, you're the only reason I came.

1507
01:12:48,136 --> 01:12:50,013
Oh, my God, that's actually really sweet.

1508
01:12:50,471 --> 01:12:52,849
- Um, I have to go get my friend now...
- Do you mind if I come with?

1509
01:12:52,932 --> 01:12:54,517
I mean, you did just
run me over with your car.

1510
01:12:55,351 --> 01:12:56,352
Uh...

1511
01:12:56,603 --> 01:12:58,104
Okay, cool. Yeah, come on, come on.

1512
01:12:58,188 --> 01:12:59,230
Oh, shit.

1513
01:12:59,314 --> 01:13:00,899
I don't like the way
you left the other day.

1514
01:13:00,982 --> 01:13:02,233
Tough shit!

1515
01:13:02,317 --> 01:13:05,904
Okay, I've got feelings and emotions.

1516
01:13:06,196 --> 01:13:09,491
I'm a little jealous
and a bit of a handful.

1517
01:13:10,116 --> 01:13:16,873
But if you can't take me
at my making-a-scene-at-a-party-ness,

1518
01:13:16,956 --> 01:13:21,669
then you don't deserve me
at my fucking-you-in-the-library-ness.

1519
01:13:22,879 --> 01:13:23,880
You're right.

1520
01:13:24,422 --> 01:13:25,715
Everything you said.

1521
01:13:26,257 --> 01:13:29,594
Truth is, I don't want you
violating my trust.

1522
01:13:30,470 --> 01:13:32,931
But I do want you.

1523
01:13:34,015 --> 01:13:36,392
You're my lobster.

1524
01:13:36,476 --> 01:13:38,061
- Holy shit.
- That's right.

1525
01:13:38,561 --> 01:13:39,938
- "You're my lobster!"
- Yeah.

1526
01:13:40,647 --> 01:13:43,733
- I didn't think you were gonna say that.
- Oh, yeah, Kayla!

1527
01:13:46,361 --> 01:13:49,614
High school is the worst.

1528
01:13:50,114 --> 01:13:52,909
It is. And you think
that it's never gonna end, but it does.

1529
01:13:52,992 --> 01:13:56,204
And when it does,
time starts to move a lot faster.

1530
01:13:56,287 --> 01:13:59,666
So when you know what you want,
you should go after it.

1531
01:13:59,999 --> 01:14:02,085
'Cause you might not get another chance.

1532
01:14:07,757 --> 01:14:09,759
Annie, get dressed. Grant is looking...

1533
01:14:09,843 --> 01:14:12,345
- Oh, Principal Fisher's here!
- In a bathrobe.

1534
01:14:12,428 --> 01:14:14,430
- Hi.
- Michelle, Oliver, is everything okay?

1535
01:14:15,181 --> 01:14:16,933
Oh. Yeah, I just didn't wanna
leave him in the car.

1536
01:14:17,016 --> 01:14:18,184
I have got a knee issue,

1537
01:14:18,268 --> 01:14:20,436
but it's not as important as love.

1538
01:14:21,104 --> 01:14:23,773
Um, Annie, Grant's at the party
and he's looking for you.

1539
01:14:23,857 --> 01:14:26,401
The whole pact is off.
We all know that he likes you.

1540
01:14:26,484 --> 01:14:28,820
- He does?
- Yeah, Annie, he does.

1541
01:14:29,988 --> 01:14:31,281
This is an incredible moment
and everything,

1542
01:14:31,364 --> 01:14:33,533
but Oliver is actually
much heavier than he looks.

1543
01:14:33,616 --> 01:14:34,951
I'm wiry but muscular.

1544
01:14:35,326 --> 01:14:36,494
- It's a family trait.
- Yeah.

1545
01:14:36,744 --> 01:14:37,745
Uh...

1546
01:14:37,829 --> 01:14:42,750
Sorry, yeah, go wait in the car.
I guess I'll change and be right out.

1547
01:14:43,418 --> 01:14:45,795
I am so excited for you for tonight.

1548
01:14:45,879 --> 01:14:49,340
Now don't you be afraid to go after Grant
just because of me and your father.

1549
01:14:49,424 --> 01:14:51,759
We're not gonna
make you guys step-siblings.

1550
01:14:51,843 --> 01:14:53,720
We both know this thing has a shelf life.

1551
01:14:53,803 --> 01:14:55,763
Besides, he took
his last Viagra this morning.

1552
01:14:59,434 --> 01:15:02,187
I'm gonna go pretend I didn't hear that,
and I'll be right out, so...

1553
01:15:02,854 --> 01:15:04,063
Okay.

1554
01:15:04,147 --> 01:15:06,733
This is... This is so good,

1555
01:15:06,816 --> 01:15:07,984
and this is...

1556
01:15:08,067 --> 01:15:09,861
Wow, but, um you know,

1557
01:15:09,944 --> 01:15:12,780
uh, we have to actually
deal with some party stuff. Right? Yeah.

1558
01:15:12,864 --> 01:15:16,826
And so if you just wanna
stay there and just really soak it all in.

1559
01:15:17,744 --> 01:15:19,370
Let's just go, okay? Let's just...

1560
01:15:20,580 --> 01:15:21,748
- Okay.
- Stay?

1561
01:15:25,502 --> 01:15:28,922
Okay. We keep Grant occupied with
his old man music until Annie gets here

1562
01:15:29,005 --> 01:15:31,007
and then boom,
big romantic moment. Got it? Great.

1563
01:15:31,090 --> 01:15:33,510
Hey, wait, wait.
I thought you liked Grant, so...

1564
01:15:33,593 --> 01:15:35,762
I just kind of liked the idea of him.

1565
01:15:35,845 --> 01:15:38,473
Look, Annie's my best friend,
and if she wants him, she gets him.

1566
01:15:39,140 --> 01:15:40,183
So maybe dating a nice guy

1567
01:15:40,266 --> 01:15:41,601
just isn't in the cards
for Stephanie Stifler.

1568
01:15:41,684 --> 01:15:44,521
Look, a queen bee walking around
like she owns the place.

1569
01:15:44,604 --> 01:15:47,649
Ooh, burn. Except I do own the place,
you fucking idiot.

1570
01:15:48,274 --> 01:15:50,109
Is this your stud for the night, Stifler?

1571
01:15:50,193 --> 01:15:51,694
I didn't think your standards
could fall any lower.

1572
01:15:52,445 --> 01:15:54,697
Well, I haven't slept with you yet,
so I got that going for me.

1573
01:15:54,781 --> 01:15:56,699
Yeah, whatever you wanna tell people.

1574
01:15:58,368 --> 01:16:01,454
McCormick, are you telling people
we hooked up?

1575
01:16:01,913 --> 01:16:03,414
I never said I don't kiss and tell.

1576
01:16:04,207 --> 01:16:05,500
- Fuck you.
- No, no.

1577
01:16:05,625 --> 01:16:07,585
Hey. You're being rude.

1578
01:16:07,669 --> 01:16:09,087
- Emmett, don't...
- No, no, no, it's okay.

1579
01:16:09,754 --> 01:16:12,882
You have five seconds to
apologize or I unleash hell.

1580
01:16:17,178 --> 01:16:18,179
Five!

1581
01:16:18,263 --> 01:16:19,264
Emmett!

1582
01:16:19,973 --> 01:16:23,393
- Wow. He, uh, hit me with his face.
- What the hell?

1583
01:16:23,601 --> 01:16:25,270
Grant, can you just watch him
for a sec? Thanks.

1584
01:16:25,353 --> 01:16:26,604
Hey, asshole!

1585
01:16:27,397 --> 01:16:28,565
I don't like bullies,

1586
01:16:28,648 --> 01:16:31,151
and I don't like misogynistic douchebags
drinking my liquor

1587
01:16:31,234 --> 01:16:32,902
and disrespecting me
in my own house.

1588
01:16:32,986 --> 01:16:34,821
I don't like you, McCormick!

1589
01:16:35,238 --> 01:16:36,489
Yes, bitch!

1590
01:16:39,784 --> 01:16:41,327
But you know who I do like?

1591
01:16:43,121 --> 01:16:44,122
Ow.

1592
01:16:46,666 --> 01:16:47,667
Hey.

1593
01:16:56,092 --> 01:16:57,677
You kissed me.

1594
01:16:58,178 --> 01:16:59,554
You stood up for me.

1595
01:16:59,888 --> 01:17:00,889
I mean, you were my wingman

1596
01:17:00,972 --> 01:17:02,807
even though you liked me
more than a wingman.

1597
01:17:03,641 --> 01:17:05,143
And you bought me a present.

1598
01:17:06,978 --> 01:17:08,438
I think I just won.

1599
01:17:19,782 --> 01:17:20,783
You Grant?

1600
01:17:22,660 --> 01:17:23,661
Do I know you?

1601
01:17:35,298 --> 01:17:36,299
Oh, no.

1602
01:17:39,636 --> 01:17:41,095
What is he doing here?

1603
01:17:42,430 --> 01:17:43,932
Yeah, man,
so there you have it.

1604
01:17:44,015 --> 01:17:45,517
Now you kind of know the people
you're dealing with.

1605
01:17:45,934 --> 01:17:47,310
What the hell are you doing?

1606
01:17:47,894 --> 01:17:49,187
Oh. Uh...

1607
01:17:49,270 --> 01:17:51,940
I just thought your new boyfriend
should know the truth.

1608
01:17:52,524 --> 01:17:55,068
Annie, did you and your friends
make a bet about me?

1609
01:17:55,151 --> 01:17:56,152
It wasn't a bet.

1610
01:17:56,861 --> 01:17:58,696
- It was a pact.
- Oh, bullshit.

1611
01:17:58,988 --> 01:18:00,031
Okay, all of these little bitches

1612
01:18:00,114 --> 01:18:01,866
competed to see who could
have sex with you first.

1613
01:18:01,950 --> 01:18:03,618
Annie texted me about it every night.

1614
01:18:03,701 --> 01:18:05,578
- It's not what it sounds like.
- Really?

1615
01:18:05,662 --> 01:18:09,707
We made a pact to go after
what each of us were missing,

1616
01:18:09,791 --> 01:18:13,795
and without knowing it,
we all kind of decided it was you.

1617
01:18:16,256 --> 01:18:19,425
And what was your thing, your pact?

1618
01:18:20,468 --> 01:18:22,345
For my first time
to be with a man I love.

1619
01:18:23,429 --> 01:18:26,599
- So that's why you went to see him.
- Yeah.

1620
01:18:26,808 --> 01:18:29,144
She's only talking to you
because she caught me with another girl.

1621
01:18:29,435 --> 01:18:30,687
You're just the fallback guy.

1622
01:18:30,770 --> 01:18:34,107
But, lucky for you,
I'm not into high school drama,

1623
01:18:34,190 --> 01:18:36,442
so you want her, you can have her.

1624
01:18:37,360 --> 01:18:38,862
- You know what?
- Whoa.

1625
01:18:39,779 --> 01:18:41,322
Annie's not yours to give.

1626
01:18:41,406 --> 01:18:43,867
And you say one more
disparaging word about her,

1627
01:18:43,950 --> 01:18:46,161
this high school kid
is gonna kick your ass.

1628
01:18:46,494 --> 01:18:48,329
Just speaking my truth, bro.

1629
01:18:48,413 --> 01:18:49,914
If she liked you
as much as you thought she did,

1630
01:18:49,998 --> 01:18:53,084
would she be driving three hours
to have sex with me?

1631
01:18:53,168 --> 01:18:55,211
No. You're just a piece of meat.

1632
01:18:56,504 --> 01:18:57,547
Whoa! Hello!

1633
01:18:57,630 --> 01:18:59,465
- My uncle's an attorney. He almost hit me.
- Shut up.

1634
01:18:59,549 --> 01:19:00,550
No. Back. Break it up.

1635
01:19:00,633 --> 01:19:01,801
I hope you guys are really happy.

1636
01:19:01,885 --> 01:19:02,886
Look, Grant, we get that you're pissed...

1637
01:19:02,969 --> 01:19:05,388
No, don't...
You paid Emmett to get dirt on me.

1638
01:19:05,471 --> 01:19:06,472
Whoa. Uh...

1639
01:19:06,764 --> 01:19:07,765
Don't.

1640
01:19:08,474 --> 01:19:11,352
You know, every person
I liked in this town lied to me.

1641
01:19:12,270 --> 01:19:13,813
And the person I liked the most

1642
01:19:14,105 --> 01:19:16,065
- chose this guy.
- Grant.

1643
01:19:16,149 --> 01:19:18,985
- Enjoy the party.
- Please don't leave. Grant.

1644
01:19:26,284 --> 01:19:28,786
<i>Why didn't you just tell us
what happened with Jason?</i>

1645
01:19:28,870 --> 01:19:30,121
Yeah.

1646
01:19:30,205 --> 01:19:31,789
I didn't know how to.

1647
01:19:32,373 --> 01:19:34,375
You guys were all
so interested in Grant.

1648
01:19:34,918 --> 01:19:36,336
I didn't wanna mess it up for you.

1649
01:19:36,419 --> 01:19:38,379
Oh, my God. You should've just told us.

1650
01:19:38,463 --> 01:19:39,923
Yeah, that's all
we would've needed, Annie.

1651
01:19:40,006 --> 01:19:41,007
Yeah.

1652
01:19:41,090 --> 01:19:43,760
I mean, you know,
this is my fault for pushing the pact.

1653
01:19:43,843 --> 01:19:44,928
No.

1654
01:19:45,011 --> 01:19:48,223
No, Steph. The pact worked.

1655
01:19:48,306 --> 01:19:51,184
I mean, you found Emmett,
who's a nice guy.

1656
01:19:51,267 --> 01:19:52,894
- He is.
- Mmm-hmm.

1657
01:19:54,103 --> 01:19:56,564
And Kayla got Tim to compromise.

1658
01:19:56,648 --> 01:19:58,900
Oh, my God. You're right.

1659
01:20:00,109 --> 01:20:04,614
And, Michelle, are you as attracted
to Oliver's mind as you are to his body?

1660
01:20:04,697 --> 01:20:09,744
Oh, he turns me on in ways
that I can't even describe.

1661
01:20:09,828 --> 01:20:11,454
See? It worked.

1662
01:20:12,247 --> 01:20:13,706
Yeah, for everyone but you.

1663
01:20:13,790 --> 01:20:15,166
No, it worked for me, too.

1664
01:20:16,543 --> 01:20:19,337
I went to Michigan State
with this image in my head,

1665
01:20:19,420 --> 01:20:24,467
and it all fell apart
because he was the wrong guy.

1666
01:20:25,009 --> 01:20:28,054
And that's big, so I'm glad we did it.

1667
01:20:28,930 --> 01:20:32,225
I mean, even if, you know,
I don't end up with Grant,

1668
01:20:32,308 --> 01:20:34,018
I'm better than I was.

1669
01:20:34,102 --> 01:20:35,103
Aw, come here.

1670
01:20:35,186 --> 01:20:36,437
Aw.

1671
01:20:36,771 --> 01:20:38,982
Little Virgin Annie.

1672
01:20:39,065 --> 01:20:41,568
- With the unshuckable oyster.
- Shut up.

1673
01:20:41,651 --> 01:20:44,821
I want in. Unshuckable oyster.

1674
01:20:44,904 --> 01:20:46,823
Get in here, Stifler.

1675
01:20:46,906 --> 01:20:48,616
Yeah, come on.

1676
01:20:48,700 --> 01:20:49,868
<i>Say what
What?</i>

1677
01:20:49,951 --> 01:20:50,952
<i>Straight from the jump</i>

1678
01:20:51,035 --> 01:20:52,537
<i>Right on the tempo
Mix it all up</i>

1679
01:20:52,620 --> 01:20:53,621
<i>Say hey
Hey</i>

1680
01:20:53,705 --> 01:20:54,747
{\an8}<i>No time to wait</i>

1681
01:20:54,831 --> 01:20:56,457
{\an8}<i>Taking your move
to a different place</i>

1682
01:20:56,541 --> 01:20:57,542
{\an8}<i>Say hey
Hey</i>

1683
01:20:57,625 --> 01:20:58,626
{\an8}<i>Do what it takes</i>

1684
01:20:58,710 --> 01:21:00,211
{\an8}<i>Make like Tay 'n' shake</i>

1685
01:21:00,295 --> 01:21:03,923
<i>Get up and go, go, go, go</i>

1686
01:21:04,007 --> 01:21:07,844
<i>Get up and go, go, go, go</i>

1687
01:21:07,927 --> 01:21:11,556
<i>Get up and go, go, go, go</i>

1688
01:21:14,976 --> 01:21:17,228
- Light the fuse.
- Copy that.

1689
01:21:18,271 --> 01:21:20,773
Mama Bear, Papa Bear,
Operation Oyster is a go.

1690
01:21:54,474 --> 01:21:55,683
This guy.

1691
01:21:57,185 --> 01:21:58,311
Hey.

1692
01:21:58,978 --> 01:22:00,897
Annie's dad's outside with a limo.

1693
01:22:01,731 --> 01:22:04,818
- What is that?
- It's a onesie, you moron.

1694
01:22:04,901 --> 01:22:07,862
- For the pajama party.
- Why do you have it?

1695
01:22:07,946 --> 01:22:09,656
Honey, you know
that I love you

1696
01:22:09,739 --> 01:22:11,491
and I'm always gonna
tell you the truth, right?

1697
01:22:12,242 --> 01:22:14,118
- I know.
- So the truth is,

1698
01:22:14,619 --> 01:22:18,581
it's time for you to stop moping
because, baby, you're a real downer.

1699
01:22:19,499 --> 01:22:22,126
Listen, happiness
doesn't just find us.

1700
01:22:22,210 --> 01:22:24,462
You gotta go and you gotta grab it.

1701
01:22:24,754 --> 01:22:25,797
Take this.

1702
01:22:27,006 --> 01:22:28,883
- Take this.
- Okay.

1703
01:22:29,884 --> 01:22:31,052
- I love you.
- What do I...

1704
01:22:31,135 --> 01:22:32,595
You'll figure it out. Or not.

1705
01:22:32,679 --> 01:22:34,597
I don't know.
I've done everything I can do.

1706
01:22:41,813 --> 01:22:42,814
<i>Okay, this is your moment, Grant,</i>

1707
01:22:42,897 --> 01:22:43,898
- <i>and you're blowing it.</i>
- <i>Mmm-hmm.</i>

1708
01:22:43,982 --> 01:22:46,192
<i>But luckily, Annie has some
pretty awesome friends...</i>

1709
01:22:46,276 --> 01:22:47,277
- <i>Thank you.</i>
- <i>Oh, you're welcome.</i>

1710
01:22:47,360 --> 01:22:49,279
<i>...who are trying to save you
from this terrible mistake.</i>

1711
01:22:49,612 --> 01:22:50,905
<i>Plus, we think you're pretty great, too.</i>

1712
01:22:50,989 --> 01:22:52,323
<i>And we sent you
a really cool onesie, so...</i>

1713
01:22:52,407 --> 01:22:53,741
<i>Okay, just shut up!</i>

1714
01:22:53,825 --> 01:22:54,868
<i>Game time, Grant.</i>

1715
01:22:54,951 --> 01:22:55,952
<i>If you really like Annie,</i>

1716
01:22:56,035 --> 01:22:57,537
<i>put on that onesie
and get in that fucking limo.</i>

1717
01:22:57,620 --> 01:22:58,621
- <i>See you soon!</i>
- <i>If you don't do it...</i>

1718
01:22:58,705 --> 01:22:59,706
<i>Gladiator!</i>

1719
01:23:10,216 --> 01:23:13,386
Hey, asshole!
Turn off the music!

1720
01:23:17,891 --> 01:23:21,936
<i>This day feels like
nothing but the right vibe</i>

1721
01:23:22,020 --> 01:23:25,857
<i>This could be the good life
Doesn't get better than...</i>

1722
01:23:25,940 --> 01:23:28,568
- Hi, darling!
- Hi.

1723
01:23:29,569 --> 01:23:30,612
Are you okay?

1724
01:23:31,404 --> 01:23:32,447
Not really.

1725
01:23:33,406 --> 01:23:35,074
I just realized you were right.

1726
01:23:35,241 --> 01:23:36,993
I've made sex too big a thing.

1727
01:23:37,952 --> 01:23:39,537
I tried to turn it into some...

1728
01:23:40,163 --> 01:23:42,665
It's for fairy tales. Stupid.

1729
01:23:42,749 --> 01:23:46,169
No. No, honestly I think you were right
about wanting it to be special.

1730
01:23:47,045 --> 01:23:49,547
Look, I never had
someone who gets me

1731
01:23:49,881 --> 01:23:51,508
and cares for me, you know, and...

1732
01:23:52,634 --> 01:23:54,344
But Emmett makes me feel
like that for the first time.

1733
01:23:55,470 --> 01:23:56,596
Stop. Stop it.

1734
01:23:56,679 --> 01:24:00,517
I mean, it's nice,
and I think tonight, we might, you know...

1735
01:24:01,726 --> 01:24:04,229
Steph, that's great.

1736
01:24:04,312 --> 01:24:05,772
Great? Doubtful.

1737
01:24:08,191 --> 01:24:10,610
Special, yeah. Yeah.

1738
01:24:10,693 --> 01:24:13,154
- Yeah. I'm happy for you.
- Thanks, babe.

1739
01:24:14,697 --> 01:24:15,698
Oh, shit.

1740
01:24:16,324 --> 01:24:18,409
Are you ready?

1741
01:24:18,993 --> 01:24:21,204
- Uh, ready for what?
- Oh, you just wait, my darling.

1742
01:24:22,038 --> 01:24:23,373
You're scaring me. What is...

1743
01:24:23,456 --> 01:24:25,166
- Where are you...
- Just stay right there.

1744
01:24:27,710 --> 01:24:29,295
<i>We're young and in love</i>

1745
01:24:30,129 --> 01:24:31,714
<i>And we're running like the wind</i>

1746
01:24:31,798 --> 01:24:33,216
<i>We got it all</i>

1747
01:24:35,718 --> 01:24:37,095
<i>We're never alone</i>

1748
01:24:37,178 --> 01:24:38,179
What?

1749
01:24:38,263 --> 01:24:41,099
<i>If we got each other
we can save the world</i>

1750
01:24:43,893 --> 01:24:47,730
<i>Explosions in the sky</i>

1751
01:24:47,897 --> 01:24:51,109
<i>I see colors fly</i>

1752
01:24:52,485 --> 01:24:54,154
<i>Old enough, old enough</i>

1753
01:24:54,487 --> 01:24:57,198
<i>Old enough to know that
we are young in love</i>

1754
01:24:57,282 --> 01:25:00,160
<i>Young in love
Young and in love</i>

1755
01:25:00,493 --> 01:25:02,078
<i>You and me, we can see</i>

1756
01:25:02,495 --> 01:25:03,705
<i>Time will stand still</i>

1757
01:25:03,788 --> 01:25:05,373
<i>If we stay young in love</i>

1758
01:25:05,456 --> 01:25:08,168
<i>Young in love
Young and in love</i>

1759
01:25:08,793 --> 01:25:10,587
<i>Yeah, we are young and in love</i>

1760
01:25:10,670 --> 01:25:12,380
<i>Yeah, we are young and in love</i>

1761
01:25:12,589 --> 01:25:14,382
<i>Yeah, we are young and in love</i>

1762
01:25:14,841 --> 01:25:15,842
You made it.

1763
01:25:17,093 --> 01:25:18,469
You have some really great friends.

1764
01:25:19,929 --> 01:25:21,181
Seems like we both do.

1765
01:25:23,892 --> 01:25:27,353
<i>Old enough, old enough
Old enough to know that</i>

1766
01:25:27,437 --> 01:25:28,605
<i>We are young in love</i>

1767
01:25:28,688 --> 01:25:31,399
<i>Young in love
Young and in love</i>

1768
01:25:31,816 --> 01:25:34,944
<i>You and me, we can see
Time will stand still</i>

1769
01:25:35,028 --> 01:25:37,697
<i>If we stay young in love
Young in love</i>

1770
01:25:37,780 --> 01:25:39,324
I guess that's my cue.

1771
01:25:41,201 --> 01:25:43,328
<i>Yeah, we are young and in love</i>

1772
01:25:43,411 --> 01:25:45,330
<i>Yeah, we are young and in love</i>

1773
01:25:45,413 --> 01:25:47,290
<i>Yeah, we are young and in love</i>

1774
01:25:47,373 --> 01:25:49,417
<i>Yeah, we are young and in love</i>

1775
01:25:49,501 --> 01:25:51,169
<i>Yeah, we are young and in love</i>

1776
01:25:51,252 --> 01:25:53,254
<i>Yeah, we are young and in love</i>

1777
01:25:53,338 --> 01:25:55,089
<i>Yeah, we are young and in love</i>

1778
01:25:55,173 --> 01:25:57,217
<i>Yeah, we are young and in love</i>

1779
01:25:57,300 --> 01:25:58,301
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

1780
01:25:58,384 --> 01:25:59,552
<i>Annie and Grant.</i>

1781
01:26:05,517 --> 01:26:09,062
<i>Well, she was an American girl</i>

1782
01:26:10,063 --> 01:26:12,398
<i>Raised on promises</i>

1783
01:26:13,733 --> 01:26:16,569
<i>She couldn't help thinking that there</i>

1784
01:26:16,653 --> 01:26:20,949
<i>Was a little more to life somewhere else</i>

1785
01:26:21,699 --> 01:26:24,911
<i>After all, it was a great, big world</i>

1786
01:26:25,662 --> 01:26:28,331
<i>With lots of places to run to</i>

1787
01:26:29,415 --> 01:26:32,710
<i>Yeah, and if she had to die trying</i>

1788
01:26:32,836 --> 01:26:37,924
<i>She had one little promise
she was gonna keep</i>

1789
01:26:38,550 --> 01:26:41,803
<i>Oh, yeah, all right</i>

1790
01:26:42,303 --> 01:26:43,805
<i>Take it easy, baby</i>

1791
01:26:44,264 --> 01:26:45,515
<i>Make it last all night</i>

1792
01:26:46,683 --> 01:26:53,648
<i>She was an American girl</i>

1793
01:26:54,816 --> 01:26:57,861
<i>Oh, yeah, all right</i>

1794
01:26:58,570 --> 01:27:00,071
<i>Take it easy, baby</i>

1795
01:27:00,655 --> 01:27:02,115
<i>Make it last all night</i>

1796
01:27:03,032 --> 01:27:08,955
<i>She was an American girl</i>

1797
01:27:14,210 --> 01:27:15,920
What did you do?

1798
01:27:16,004 --> 01:27:17,755
- Mmm-hmm.
- Oh, God.

1799
01:27:20,925 --> 01:27:22,093
- Okay.
- Okay, okay.

1800
01:27:22,177 --> 01:27:23,344
- Hey.
- Hey.

1801
01:27:23,428 --> 01:27:26,306
So, I... I guess they have
one more surprise for us.

1802
01:27:27,599 --> 01:27:28,600
Okay.

1803
01:27:28,975 --> 01:27:30,643
- Bye.
- Bye.

1804
01:27:30,935 --> 01:27:32,645
What's happening right now?

1805
01:27:36,357 --> 01:27:39,569
<i>I've fallen too deep</i>

1806
01:27:39,652 --> 01:27:40,904
<i>Trying to swim</i>

1807
01:27:40,987 --> 01:27:43,990
<i>The current too steep
and it's pulling me in</i>

1808
01:27:44,407 --> 01:27:46,367
<i>I can breathe</i>

1809
01:27:46,451 --> 01:27:50,955
<i>Both hands around my heart
My heart</i>

1810
01:27:51,039 --> 01:27:53,875
<i>I can still feel the heat on your skin</i>

1811
01:27:53,958 --> 01:27:57,295
<i>My lips are begging to pull you in</i>

1812
01:27:57,378 --> 01:27:58,963
<i>I can breathe</i>

1813
01:27:59,506 --> 01:28:03,510
<i>Your hands around my heart
My heart</i>

1814
01:28:03,593 --> 01:28:04,594
<i>I'mma hold the door...</i>

1815
01:28:04,677 --> 01:28:05,762
What?

1816
01:28:07,347 --> 01:28:12,727
<i>For you there is no cure...</i>

1817
01:28:14,604 --> 01:28:15,772
What are we, like...

1818
01:28:16,105 --> 01:28:17,106
Oh.

1819
01:28:17,482 --> 01:28:21,569
I made a pact, so I gotta stick to it.

1820
01:28:22,570 --> 01:28:24,155
You want your first time
to be with me?

1821
01:28:24,489 --> 01:28:27,909
Yeah. And the next few, I think.

1822
01:28:37,794 --> 01:28:41,673
Hey. This feels special to me.

1823
01:28:43,216 --> 01:28:44,467
Me, too, Annie.

1824
01:28:48,054 --> 01:28:51,307
Oliver, I wanna share
something with you,

1825
01:28:51,850 --> 01:28:53,476
something that I've never
shared with anyone else.

1826
01:28:54,894 --> 01:28:55,895
Oh.

1827
01:28:56,187 --> 01:28:57,397
You want me to use that on you?

1828
01:28:59,065 --> 01:29:00,275
On me?

1829
01:29:02,026 --> 01:29:04,529
And I want you right here, right now.

1830
01:29:05,196 --> 01:29:06,322
On Principal Fisher's desk?

1831
01:29:06,447 --> 01:29:08,575
- Yes, on her desk! Get up there!
- Okay. Okay.

1832
01:29:08,741 --> 01:29:10,118
And I know you know what I want.

1833
01:29:10,201 --> 01:29:14,247
You mean, "A man may die,
nations may rise and fall,

1834
01:29:14,330 --> 01:29:16,207
- "but an idea lives on!"
- Yes.

1835
01:29:16,291 --> 01:29:18,042
Yes!

1836
01:29:18,334 --> 01:29:20,795
<i>And we dared to go</i>

1837
01:29:22,088 --> 01:29:23,965
<i>A lover's bane</i>

1838
01:29:24,299 --> 01:29:26,217
<i>Forever will remain...</i>

1839
01:29:27,510 --> 01:29:29,012
Amazing. Shit.

1840
01:29:29,345 --> 01:29:31,973
Wow. Shit!

1841
01:29:34,350 --> 01:29:36,478
Thanks. Learned that at band camp.

1842
01:29:36,561 --> 01:29:37,937
Yeah, I don't need to know that.

1843
01:29:38,021 --> 01:29:40,482
Kiss me now. Okay?

1844
01:29:41,232 --> 01:29:42,400
Now.

1845
01:29:45,612 --> 01:29:46,821
Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

1846
01:29:46,905 --> 01:29:49,282
- I need to tell you something.
- What?

1847
01:29:49,365 --> 01:29:50,867
I've... I've never done it.

1848
01:29:51,367 --> 01:29:52,368
Me neither.

1849
01:29:53,495 --> 01:29:55,663
I mean, I've never had it
with someone special, you know?

1850
01:30:03,087 --> 01:30:04,255
{\an8}Oh.

1851
01:30:04,714 --> 01:30:05,882
{\an8}Yes!

1852
01:30:05,965 --> 01:30:07,008
Yeah?

1853
01:30:09,219 --> 01:30:10,970
- You like this?
- Oh. Yeah.

1854
01:30:11,054 --> 01:30:12,096
- This is hot.
- Yeah.

1855
01:30:12,180 --> 01:30:13,264
- Dangerous.
- Yeah.

1856
01:30:14,140 --> 01:30:17,477
A little unsanitary, but, yeah.

1857
01:30:17,560 --> 01:30:19,187
I like it here. I like you.

1858
01:30:19,270 --> 01:30:20,313
I love you.

1859
01:30:20,396 --> 01:30:24,234
You are my queen!

1860
01:30:24,317 --> 01:30:27,237
I am your queen!

1861
01:30:27,320 --> 01:30:28,321
Whoo!

1862
01:30:28,404 --> 01:30:29,781
<i>Ahoo</i>

1863
01:30:29,864 --> 01:30:31,908
<i>Stars are falling</i>

1864
01:30:32,033 --> 01:30:35,495
<i>Are we falling, too?</i>

1865
01:30:35,578 --> 01:30:40,041
<i>Ahoo, dawn is coming</i>

1866
01:30:40,250 --> 01:30:43,670
<i>What's this coming to?</i>

1867
01:30:43,753 --> 01:30:47,674
<i>On a night like this</i>

1868
01:30:47,924 --> 01:30:51,427
<i>On a night like this...</i>

1869
01:30:53,179 --> 01:30:55,557
- There's something else.
- What?

1870
01:30:58,351 --> 01:30:59,602
Oh. Oh.

1871
01:30:59,686 --> 01:31:01,020
No, don't worry if...

1872
01:31:01,104 --> 01:31:04,482
Look, whatever's going down,
down there we'll make it work. Okay?

1873
01:31:04,774 --> 01:31:06,109
- Yeah?
- I promise.

1874
01:31:06,860 --> 01:31:08,278
- Okay.
- Okay.

1875
01:31:14,200 --> 01:31:15,201
Wow.

1876
01:31:15,285 --> 01:31:17,328
Is your dad a giant?

1877
01:31:17,412 --> 01:31:18,705
Like, will it fit?

1878
01:31:18,872 --> 01:31:20,165
Here's to hoping.

1879
01:31:21,457 --> 01:31:23,168
Oh, you're my president.

1880
01:31:23,835 --> 01:31:25,086
You'll always be my president.

1881
01:31:25,253 --> 01:31:27,380
<i>Ahoo</i>

1882
01:31:27,463 --> 01:31:29,507
<i>Stars are falling</i>

1883
01:31:29,591 --> 01:31:32,802
<i>Are we falling too?</i>

1884
01:31:33,261 --> 01:31:36,723
<i>On a night like this</i>

1885
01:31:37,265 --> 01:31:41,060
<i>On a night like this</i>

1886
01:31:41,561 --> 01:31:45,523
<i>Ahoo</i>

1887
01:35:08,601 --> 01:35:10,228
Say you want this
on your permanent record.

1888
01:35:10,311 --> 01:35:11,938
I want this
on my permanent record.

1889
01:35:12,021 --> 01:35:13,189
Yeah, you do.

1890
01:35:13,273 --> 01:35:14,357
What's going on? Oh.

1891
01:35:14,649 --> 01:35:17,443
Hey, Janitor Steve.
We'll just be a minute.

1892
01:35:17,527 --> 01:35:18,736
Hi, Janitor Steve.

1893
01:35:20,822 --> 01:35:22,240
I'm gonna need a bigger mop.

1894
01:35:24,325 --> 01:35:25,618
<i>Don't touch me!</i>

1895
01:35:26,121 --> 01:35:30,796
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