1
00:00:23,109 --> 00:00:24,937
[person 1] Make sure
I'’m in the frame.
2
00:00:25,111 --> 00:00:26,895
Make sure you get my head.
I want to see my hair.
3
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,810
[person 2]
All right, all right.[person 1] Janis, hurry up!
4
00:00:28,984 --> 00:00:30,290
[Janis] It'’s not easy
making a movie.
5
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:31,596
[person 1] You better not
drop my phone.
6
00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:33,598
You got it?
7
00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:35,556
- Yep. Yep. Yep.
- Okay, here we go.
8
00:00:35,730 --> 00:00:37,341
Hey... Oh, Lord.[Janis] Shit.
9
00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,473
[person 1]
We'’re Cloverfielding.
Pick it up.
10
00:00:39,647 --> 00:00:41,606
[Janis] Give me a minute.[person 1] Make sure
I'’m in the frame, girl.
11
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:44,652
- Give me a minute!
- Am I in the frame?
12
00:00:44,826 --> 00:00:46,001
I'’m in there?[Janis] Yes.
13
00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:47,307
Get me in the frame? Yeah.
14
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:48,526
You got my head in there? Yeah.
15
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,876
Boom, let'’s go.
16
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,226
♪ It'’s a cautionary tale ♪
17
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,228
♪ Of fear and lust and pride ♪
18
00:00:55,402 --> 00:00:59,450
♪ Based on actual events
Where people died ♪
19
00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:00,886
No one died.
20
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,105
♪ But how far
Would you go ♪
21
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:04,585
♪ To be popular and hot? ♪
22
00:01:04,759 --> 00:01:07,240
♪ Would you resist temptation? ♪
23
00:01:07,414 --> 00:01:08,720
♪ No, you would not! ♪
24
00:01:08,894 --> 00:01:10,722
♪ Just admit it sometimes ♪
25
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:15,640
♪ Mean is what you are
Mean is easier than nice ♪
26
00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:18,643
♪ And though mean
Can take you far ♪
27
00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:21,950
♪ Maybe this will
Make you think twice ♪
28
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,996
Spin. Clicker. Fosse!
29
00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:27,565
♪ This is a cautionary tale ♪
30
00:01:28,783 --> 00:01:31,003
♪ About corruption
And betrayal ♪
31
00:01:31,177 --> 00:01:33,527
♪ And getting hit by a bus! ♪
32
00:01:33,701 --> 00:01:36,704
♪ You can'’t buy integrity ♪[vocalizing]
33
00:01:36,878 --> 00:01:41,709
♪ At the mall
It'’s not for sale ♪
34
00:01:41,883 --> 00:01:42,928
Truth.
35
00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:46,627
♪ This is a cautionary ♪
36
00:01:46,801 --> 00:01:52,894
♪ Tale! ♪
37
00:02:03,644 --> 00:02:05,646
[birds chirping]
38
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:11,652
[person] ♪ I used
To think I would spend ♪
39
00:02:11,826 --> 00:02:14,481
♪ Every second I have ♪
40
00:02:15,482 --> 00:02:17,919
♪ Right where my story began ♪
41
00:02:20,226 --> 00:02:21,793
♪ I'’d be happy here ♪
42
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:24,665
♪ Every day, month
Year of my life ♪
43
00:02:24,839 --> 00:02:28,800
♪ But now I'’m wishing
For whatever comes
After goodbye ♪
44
00:02:29,844 --> 00:02:32,586
♪ On every star in the sky ♪
45
00:02:34,849 --> 00:02:39,027
♪ And I'’m dreaming of
What I could become ♪
46
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:42,292
♪ This is where home will be ♪
47
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:45,860
♪ As long as my lungs
Can breathe ♪
48
00:02:46,034 --> 00:02:49,690
♪ But my heart is dyin'’
To leave ♪
49
00:02:49,864 --> 00:02:52,389
♪ '’Cause I know there'’s more
To me ♪
50
00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:54,652
♪ I don'’t want to live with
What ifs...♪
51
00:02:54,826 --> 00:02:56,131
[Mom] Cady?
52
00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:58,046
I'’ve been thinking
about what you said.
53
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,919
About being frustrated
by my decision
54
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:02,529
and feeling
a little stuck here,
55
00:03:02,703 --> 00:03:03,791
just me and you.
56
00:03:03,965 --> 00:03:05,140
I'’m sorry I yelled.
57
00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:07,360
But you have a point.
58
00:03:07,534 --> 00:03:08,753
Maybe I'’ve been
a little selfish,
59
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:10,363
putting my research ahead
60
00:03:10,537 --> 00:03:12,409
of your social
and emotional development.
61
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,411
I called the people
from Northwestern back.
62
00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:15,760
I took the job.
63
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:17,892
What?
64
00:03:18,066 --> 00:03:19,807
But they need me
to start on September 9th.
65
00:03:19,981 --> 00:03:23,376
♪ I don'’t want to live
With what ifs, might haves ♪
66
00:03:23,550 --> 00:03:27,032
♪ Could have been if I had ♪ Cady?
67
00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:31,515
♪ Only tried, not held back
Oh, no ♪
68
00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:33,691
♪ That'’s not a part of my plan ♪
69
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:36,998
♪ That'’s not the me that I
That'’s not the me that I am ♪
70
00:03:37,172 --> 00:03:39,566
♪ This time
There'’s no lookin'’ back ♪
71
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:44,528
♪ I'’m crossing things
Off my list ♪
72
00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:48,271
♪ Don'’t want to run out of time
Before I wake up and find ♪
73
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,664
♪ There was a life
That I missed ♪
74
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:54,494
♪ My limit doesn'’t exist ♪
75
00:03:57,889 --> 00:03:59,891
[students laughing, chattering]
76
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,634
[school bell ringing]
77
00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:06,114
I'’ll pick you up at 3:00.
78
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:07,507
[chuckles]
79
00:04:12,338 --> 00:04:16,168
♪ I don'’t want to live
With what ifs, might haves ♪
80
00:04:16,342 --> 00:04:19,911
♪ Could have been if I had ♪
81
00:04:20,085 --> 00:04:24,219
♪ Only tried, not held back
Oh, no ♪
82
00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:27,353
♪ That'’s not a part of my plan
That'’s not the me that I am ♪
83
00:04:27,527 --> 00:04:30,617
♪ No what ifs, regrets ♪
84
00:04:30,791 --> 00:04:34,273
♪ Wear my strengths
And weakness ♪
85
00:04:34,447 --> 00:04:38,756
♪ I won'’t hide my feelings
Oh, no ♪
86
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:41,672
♪ That'’s not a part of my plan
That'’s not the...♪
87
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,630
[gasps]
Bitch, move.
88
00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:47,373
[bubble pops][chewing]
89
00:04:49,810 --> 00:04:50,811
[garbage bin thumps]
90
00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:54,598
[principal] Hope you all
had a good summer.
91
00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,077
Mine was pretty good.
92
00:04:56,251 --> 00:04:58,515
I worked
in my brother-in-law'’s
93
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,343
golf pro shop.
94
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:03,258
Did not make a lot of money,
so of course I am back
95
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:06,087
to help shepherd you all
into the future.
96
00:05:06,261 --> 00:05:07,437
[snoring]
97
00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:10,831
[gasps]
98
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:13,660
May I have everyone'’s
attention, please?
99
00:05:13,834 --> 00:05:16,184
Eyes to the front of the room.
100
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:19,318
You may notice
we have a new student
joining us today.
101
00:05:19,492 --> 00:05:20,798
She just moved here
from Kentucky.
102
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:21,929
Kenya.
103
00:05:22,103 --> 00:05:24,367
Kenya. Her name is Caddy.
104
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,325
It'’s Cady. Cady Heron.
105
00:05:26,499 --> 00:05:28,849
My apologies.
I will commit that to memory.
106
00:05:29,023 --> 00:05:32,766
Cady, like the Canadian
songstress k.d. lang,
107
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:36,204
and Heron,
like the illegal street drug.
108
00:05:37,205 --> 00:05:39,033
- Thank you, Caddy.
- It'’s Cady.
109
00:05:39,207 --> 00:05:41,775
Cady, hi. I'’m Ms. Norbury.
I'’ll be your homeroom teacher.
110
00:05:41,949 --> 00:05:43,211
This is your roster.
111
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:44,996
I see I also have you
for A.P. Calculus.
112
00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:47,215
You must have had excellent
teachers at your old school.
113
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,000
- Oh, I was homeschooled.
- Homeschooled?
114
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,742
Oh, that'’s a fun way
to take jobs from my union.
115
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,308
- No, I'’m joking. It'’s fine.
- Ah.
116
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,267
Um, do you think you can
follow this schedule?
117
00:05:55,441 --> 00:05:57,008
- Yeah, I think so.
- Okay, you'’re gonna be moving
118
00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:58,662
from class to class
with each...
119
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,315
[school bell rings]
120
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:01,316
That'’s it.
121
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:03,580
[teacher] Everybody find a seat.
122
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:05,146
Please.
123
00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:10,935
This is first period:
124
00:06:11,109 --> 00:06:12,719
American Literature.
125
00:06:12,893 --> 00:06:14,417
[rapping]
♪ My name is Mister Rapp ♪
126
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:16,680
♪ And I take no...? ♪
127
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:21,249
♪ My name is Mister Rapp
And I take no...?♪
128
00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:23,338
"...care of myself"?
129
00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:28,039
"Crap."
Correct answer was "crap."
130
00:06:29,344 --> 00:06:30,607
Find a seat.
131
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,347
I don'’t want you
to think of me
132
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:33,958
as just any other teacher.
133
00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:35,525
I prefer to think of myself
134
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:37,527
as a time traveler.[school bell rings]
135
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:41,139
Maintenant nous choisissons
nos noms français.
136
00:06:42,009 --> 00:06:43,620
Cady. Comment tu t'’appelles?
137
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,796
Je m'’appelle Cady. Incorrecte!
138
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,320
You have to pick
a French name.
139
00:06:48,494 --> 00:06:49,713
All the French people I know
140
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,976
just call me Cady.[chuckles]
141
00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:53,717
Just say Marie.
142
00:06:54,674 --> 00:06:56,415
Um... Marie?
143
00:06:56,589 --> 00:06:58,156
[in French pronunciation] Marie.
144
00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:00,637
- J'’anice.
- J'’anice.
145
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:03,248
Chanel. Non.
146
00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:04,815
Fantine. Non.
147
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:06,077
Celine Dion?
148
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,252
Non.
149
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,080
Beyoncé.
150
00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:10,995
Quais. Mais non.
151
00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:12,953
[laughing]
152
00:07:13,127 --> 00:07:15,739
Welcome to "Health
and Human Sexuality."
153
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:18,176
Now, this fall
we'’ll be getting
154
00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:21,527
into the state-mandated unit
on Abstinence.
155
00:07:21,701 --> 00:07:23,094
Of course then followed by,
in the spring,
156
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:25,183
Condoms and Choking.
157
00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:27,751
Where do you think
you'’re going there, hotshot?
158
00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:29,448
I need to urinate.
159
00:07:29,622 --> 00:07:30,754
No way, José.
160
00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,320
Uh, it'’s Cady.
161
00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:33,757
Well, Cady,
162
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,846
first thing you need to do
is ask permission.
163
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:37,412
But the second thing
you'’ll need
164
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:39,589
is this lavatory pass
165
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,591
that is shaped
like a sperm whale.
166
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:42,766
Get it?
167
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:44,637
[Cady] Um...
168
00:07:44,811 --> 00:07:46,726
May I please have
the lavatory pass?
169
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,033
No, you may not.
You may go sit back down.
170
00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:51,818
You can go at lunch.
Nice try, kiddo.
171
00:07:51,992 --> 00:07:53,385
All right,
let'’s jump into this!
172
00:07:53,559 --> 00:07:55,648
This won'’t be awkward at all,
I swear to God.
173
00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:59,609
[students chattering]
174
00:08:34,208 --> 00:08:36,036
[toilet flushing]
175
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,435
This one. [clears throat]
176
00:08:46,046 --> 00:08:48,222
Are you okay in there?
177
00:08:48,396 --> 00:08:49,920
[Cady] Uh, yes.
178
00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,530
'’Cause you'’ve been in there
a very long time.
179
00:08:51,704 --> 00:08:52,923
We'’re concerned
you'’re either doing drugs
180
00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:54,272
or having a toilet baby.
181
00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:58,668
Hi. I'’m Janis.
182
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,278
And je m'’appelle Sasha Fierce.
183
00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:01,540
This is Damian.
184
00:09:01,714 --> 00:09:03,020
He is almost too gay
to function.
185
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:05,283
But I push through.
I manage.
186
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:06,806
Hi.
187
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:07,894
[Damian] We'’ve been
watching you all day.
188
00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:09,417
You'’re a mess.
189
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:13,683
So we volunteer to amplify
your lunch experience.
190
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:16,686
Yeah, what Damian is saying is
we will help you, Caddy.
191
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:20,733
Thanks so much.
Um... it'’s Cady.
192
00:09:20,907 --> 00:09:22,779
Yeah.
I'’m gonna call you Caddy.
193
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:24,781
Get out of the toilet!
194
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,565
Mkay.
195
00:09:26,739 --> 00:09:29,437
You just need to find
your clique and commit to it.
196
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,004
You have your Jocks.
197
00:09:31,178 --> 00:09:32,789
[shouting]
198
00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:35,530
Your Corny Horny Band Freaks.
199
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,187
Your Classic Burnouts.
200
00:09:40,361 --> 00:09:42,059
[growls]
201
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:43,364
Do any of these feel
like your people?
202
00:09:43,538 --> 00:09:45,323
I don'’t think so.[Damian] Hmm...
203
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,325
You know what might
be cute for her?
204
00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:48,718
[Janis] What, Grade Grubbers?
205
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:50,633
[Damian] No, I was gonna say
Theater Mess.
206
00:09:56,682 --> 00:09:58,466
And who'’s at that table?
207
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,860
[indistinct chatter][Damian] Oh, no, no, no.
208
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,470
We call them The Plastics
209
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:04,211
'’cause they'’re shiny,
fake and hard.
210
00:10:04,385 --> 00:10:05,778
Yeah, that'’s Gretchen Wieners.
211
00:10:05,952 --> 00:10:08,085
She knows everything
about everybody.
212
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:09,782
[Damian] That'’s why
her hair'’s so big.
213
00:10:09,956 --> 00:10:11,479
[whispering]
It'’s full of secrets.
214
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,046
And that'’s Karen Shetty.
215
00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:14,831
She'’s the dumbest person
you'’ll ever meet.
216
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:18,095
I once saw her put a D
in the word "orange."
217
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:19,792
[bubbling]
218
00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:23,100
Could I just sit
with you guys?
219
00:10:23,970 --> 00:10:25,363
I actually don'’t know.
220
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:26,712
We'’ve never been asked
that question before.
221
00:10:26,886 --> 00:10:27,931
Could she?
222
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:30,237
We are very exclusive,
223
00:10:30,411 --> 00:10:33,676
but I think we can make
an exception.
224
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,939
[electricity crackles]
225
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:38,115
- What was that?
- Oh, Lord, it'’s the Queen Bee.
Don'’t look her in the eye!
226
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:41,335
[footsteps approaching]
227
00:10:51,432 --> 00:10:56,133
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
228
00:10:57,264 --> 00:11:02,182
♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
229
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:05,620
♪ Fear me, love me ♪
230
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:09,320
♪ Stand and stare at me ♪
231
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,583
♪ And these? ♪
232
00:11:11,757 --> 00:11:13,628
♪ These are real ♪
233
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:17,197
♪ I'’ve got money and looks ♪
234
00:11:18,982 --> 00:11:23,290
♪ I am, like, drunk with power ♪
235
00:11:23,464 --> 00:11:28,861
♪ This whole school
Humps my leg ♪
236
00:11:29,035 --> 00:11:32,517
♪ Like a Chihuahua ♪
237
00:11:32,691 --> 00:11:37,827
♪ I'’m the prettiest poison
You'’ve ever seen ♪
238
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:42,962
♪ That filter you use
Looks just like me ♪
239
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:47,837
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
240
00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:52,798
♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
241
00:11:52,972 --> 00:11:57,629
♪ I don'’t care who you are ♪
242
00:11:57,803 --> 00:12:00,197
♪ I don'’t care ♪
243
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:07,160
♪ How you feel ♪
244
00:12:07,334 --> 00:12:08,466
You.
245
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,163
Yeah, you. Come here.
246
00:12:19,346 --> 00:12:20,608
Why don'’t I know you?
247
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:23,481
I'’m new. I just moved here
from Kenya.
248
00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:25,004
Shut up.
249
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:26,745
Shut up!
250
00:12:26,919 --> 00:12:28,573
I didn'’t say anything.
251
00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:30,009
You'’re, like, really pretty.
252
00:12:31,445 --> 00:12:33,404
- Thanks.
- So you agree?
253
00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:34,753
You think
you'’re really pretty?
254
00:12:36,102 --> 00:12:37,582
Oh, I don'’t know.
255
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:40,672
You'’re an international
student. That is so fetch.
256
00:12:40,846 --> 00:12:41,978
What is "fetch"?
257
00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:44,894
It'’s like slang
from an old movie.
258
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:48,071
Juno, I think.[sighs]
259
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,550
Have you ever touched a tiger?
260
00:12:49,724 --> 00:12:52,075
Uh, no, those aren'’t
indigenous to Kenya.
261
00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:54,599
'’Cause that'’s one
of my life goals.
262
00:12:54,773 --> 00:12:57,123
To not touch a tiger.
263
00:12:57,297 --> 00:12:59,256
Hey, new girl!
You want to see a trick?
264
00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:00,866
I can guess
any girl'’s bra size.
265
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,737
All you got to do
is jump one time.
266
00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:04,914
- Ew, Jason!
- Do me.
267
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,524
Oh, my God, Jason.
268
00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:09,570
You do not come to a party
at my house with Gretchen
269
00:13:09,744 --> 00:13:11,398
and then skeeze on the new girl
right in front of me.
270
00:13:11,572 --> 00:13:13,444
Do you want to have sex
with him?
271
00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:15,707
Oh, uh... no, thank you.
272
00:13:15,881 --> 00:13:17,013
Okay, then it'’s settled.
273
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,362
Jason, no one thinks
you'’re funny.
274
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:19,711
Okay? And this thing
you'’re doing
275
00:13:19,885 --> 00:13:21,017
where you lower your voice
when you talk
276
00:13:21,191 --> 00:13:22,453
is making people really sad.
277
00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:24,455
Excuse me, anyone
who would like Jason Weems
278
00:13:24,629 --> 00:13:26,457
to go back
to his normal speaking voice,
279
00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:27,501
please raise your hand.
280
00:13:31,897 --> 00:13:33,029
Yeah.
281
00:13:33,681 --> 00:13:34,900
Bitch.
282
00:13:35,074 --> 00:13:36,510
Wow.
283
00:13:36,684 --> 00:13:38,556
You'’re really gonna
get noticed around here.
284
00:13:39,426 --> 00:13:40,601
We should help you.
285
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,214
Can you give us some privacy
for a sec?
286
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:46,390
Oh. Yeah, sure.
287
00:13:48,348 --> 00:13:49,915
[both mouthing words]
288
00:13:50,089 --> 00:13:52,178
[softly] I have your lunch!
289
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:55,355
All right.
290
00:13:55,529 --> 00:13:57,488
So, we never really
do this, but...
291
00:13:57,662 --> 00:13:58,924
...you'’re invited
to eat lunch with us
292
00:13:59,098 --> 00:14:01,231
- for the rest of the week.
- Oh. Um...
293
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,581
- That'’s okay.
- On Wednesdays,
we wear pink.
294
00:14:04,364 --> 00:14:05,322
[chuckles]
295
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:08,542
They want me to have lunch
with them all week.
296
00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:10,327
[chuckles]
That is tits!
297
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:11,981
She means "that'’s great."
298
00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:14,026
I don'’t really get why
you guys hate them so much.
299
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,072
- Regina seems kind of cool.
- No, no... [chuckles]
300
00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:17,812
Regina George is not cool.
301
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,684
She'’s a scum-sucking
life ruiner.
302
00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:22,295
Janis hates Regina
because when we were
in sixth grade,
303
00:14:22,469 --> 00:14:24,428
she told everybody
that she was--Hey, Damian!
304
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:25,516
What?
305
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:26,734
Shall we not?
306
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:28,127
[Damian]
I am providing context.
307
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,302
Caddy?
308
00:14:29,476 --> 00:14:31,087
You should have lunch
with them
309
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:33,002
and then report back
and tell us
310
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:35,178
every stupid, moronic thing
they said.
311
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:37,571
Spy on them? That'’s bad.
312
00:14:37,745 --> 00:14:39,138
No! Look at us.
313
00:14:40,487 --> 00:14:42,925
Would we ever ask you
to do something bad?
314
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,709
Uh...
315
00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:48,931
- Okay.
- Yes!
316
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,933
Do you have a pink shirt
I can borrow?
317
00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:53,109
- No!
- Yes! What shade?
318
00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:55,502
Welcome to A.P. Calculus.
319
00:14:55,676 --> 00:15:00,725
Congratulations.
You know more math
than 85% of Americans.
320
00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:03,771
But you will not rest
on your laurels this year.
321
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:06,209
I plan to push you.
322
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:07,601
So let'’s get started.
323
00:15:07,775 --> 00:15:10,778
Chapter One, "Limits
and Their Properties."
324
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,258
What the heck are limits,
you say?
325
00:15:12,432 --> 00:15:13,825
If I write out the equation,
326
00:15:13,999 --> 00:15:16,871
"The limit as x approaches two
of [x + 1],"
327
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:18,743
the function is what
we'’re taking the limit of.
328
00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:20,614
I don'’t expect you to know
how to do this yet.
329
00:15:20,788 --> 00:15:21,964
The limit equals three.
330
00:15:22,616 --> 00:15:24,009
That'’s right.
331
00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:25,489
Let'’s try another one.
332
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,317
Find the value of k
333
00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:29,536
for which the following
limit exists.
334
00:15:29,710 --> 00:15:31,930
- K equals negative three.
- Damn, girl!
335
00:15:33,714 --> 00:15:34,977
Wow.
336
00:15:36,282 --> 00:15:38,719
Are you trying to make
the rest of us feel dumb?
337
00:15:38,893 --> 00:15:41,940
No, I... I'’m not trying to.
It'’s just, uh, happening.
338
00:15:42,114 --> 00:15:45,900
Oh, okay, it'’s like that.
All right, um, well...
339
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,294
challenge accepted.
340
00:15:54,561 --> 00:15:55,867
[chuckles]
341
00:15:56,041 --> 00:15:57,912
♪ When I was nine ♪
342
00:15:58,087 --> 00:15:59,523
♪ I fell in love ♪
343
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:01,351
♪ This Peace Corps guy ♪
344
00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:05,746
♪ I waited hours
Inside his tent with flowers ♪
345
00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:08,271
♪ Which made him laugh
Which made me cry ♪
346
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:09,968
♪ By 13 I gave up trying ♪
347
00:16:10,142 --> 00:16:13,058
♪ I decided I would be
A mathematician ♪
348
00:16:13,232 --> 00:16:14,712
♪ '’Cause math is real ♪
349
00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:16,670
♪ I memorized a lot of pi ♪
350
00:16:16,844 --> 00:16:19,325
♪ Because addition
And subtraction and division ♪
351
00:16:19,499 --> 00:16:22,807
♪ Would never make me feel
So stupid with love ♪
352
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:24,200
♪ I didn'’t get it ♪
353
00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:27,377
♪ I didn'’t get it, somehow ♪
354
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:30,467
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
355
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:34,471
♪ I didn'’t get it
I didn'’t get it till now ♪
356
00:16:35,863 --> 00:16:38,475
♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪
357
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:42,653
♪ So thank you, math
For being there ♪
358
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,872
♪ To bring me joy ♪
359
00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:47,962
♪ And thank you, math ♪
360
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:51,140
♪ '’Cause now you'’ve brought me
This cute boy ♪
361
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,446
♪ He'’s like someone from TV ♪
362
00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:56,493
♪ He'’s like that guy
Who gives out roses
To those women ♪
363
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,277
♪ His clothes, his grooming ♪
364
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,410
♪ And he'’s a foot away from me ♪
365
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:02,760
♪ With swoopy hair
And shiny eyes
That I could swim in ♪
366
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,283
♪ He'’s live and in the room! ♪
367
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,937
[sniffs]
368
00:17:06,111 --> 00:17:08,026
[Ms. Norbury lecturing][exhales deeply]
369
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:14,554
♪ And I'’m stupid with love
I want to get it ♪
370
00:17:14,728 --> 00:17:17,688
[group vocalizing]♪ I want to get it, but how? ♪
371
00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:20,995
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
372
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:25,261
♪ I want to get it
I didn'’t get it till now ♪
373
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:28,481
[vocalizing continues][indistinct chattering]
374
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:32,790
[laughing]
375
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:37,099
♪ I'’m astounded and nonplussed ♪
376
00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:40,058
♪ I am filled with calcu-lust ♪
377
00:17:40,232 --> 00:17:43,235
♪ Does this guy work out?
He must ♪
378
00:17:43,409 --> 00:17:46,369
♪ All sweaty at the gym ♪
379
00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:49,459
♪ Could that image
Be more hot?♪
380
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:52,462
♪ Let me just enjoy
That thought ♪
381
00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:55,421
♪ School was rough
But now it'’s not ♪
382
00:17:55,595 --> 00:17:57,728
♪ '’Cause now there'’s him ♪
383
00:17:57,902 --> 00:18:01,210
♪ Stupid with love
I didn'’t get it ♪
384
00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:04,343
♪ I didn'’t get it, somehow ♪
385
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:07,433
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
386
00:18:07,607 --> 00:18:10,784
♪ I didn'’t get it
I didn'’t get it till now ♪
387
00:18:10,958 --> 00:18:12,395
[horn blares][screams]
388
00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:16,138
[Cady panting]
389
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:18,357
I'’m okay.
390
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:19,924
[panting]
391
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:27,236
Mom, you can'’t
pick me up like this.
392
00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:28,585
It'’s embarrassing.
393
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,198
You can'’t wear a tank top
two days in a row
394
00:18:33,372 --> 00:18:36,375
and you can
only wear your hair
in a ponytail once a week.
395
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,029
So I guess
you'’ve chosen today.
396
00:18:38,203 --> 00:18:42,033
Oh! And we only wear sweats
or track pants on Fridays.
397
00:18:42,207 --> 00:18:43,861
If you break any
of these rules,
398
00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:45,167
you can'’t sit with us.
399
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,038
I mean, not just you,
like, any of us.
400
00:18:47,212 --> 00:18:48,692
Like if I wore sweatpants today,
401
00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:50,128
I'’d have to
go sit over there...
402
00:18:50,302 --> 00:18:51,869
[whispering]
...with the Art Freaks.
403
00:18:52,913 --> 00:18:53,958
[Damian chuckles]
404
00:18:54,654 --> 00:18:56,047
That seems fair.
405
00:18:56,221 --> 00:18:58,571
120 calories
and 48 calories from fat.
406
00:18:58,745 --> 00:18:59,659
What percent is that?
407
00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:02,096
Um, 48 into 120?
408
00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:03,968
There'’s no way of knowing.
409
00:19:04,838 --> 00:19:06,405
It'’s 40%.
410
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:07,972
42 over 120
411
00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:10,061
equals x over 100,
and then you cross-multiply
412
00:19:10,235 --> 00:19:11,715
to get the value of x.
413
00:19:12,411 --> 00:19:14,196
Hmm.
414
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,023
Whatever.
Um, I'’m getting cheese fries.
415
00:19:20,332 --> 00:19:22,160
[chuckles]
416
00:19:22,334 --> 00:19:25,032
So, have you seen any guys
you think are cute yet?
417
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:30,734
Oh, um, well, actually,
there'’s this one guy
in my Calculus class.
418
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:34,825
- Ooh, a senior! Who is it?
- Uh, Aaron Samuels.
419
00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:38,045
You can'’t like Aaron Samuels!
- That is Regina'’s ex-boyfriend!
- No. No. Bad. Bad. Danger.
420
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:42,136
Wait. I thought she
dumped him for Shane Oman.
421
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:43,529
Irregardless!
422
00:19:43,703 --> 00:19:45,009
Ex-boyfriends are
off-limits for friends.
423
00:19:45,183 --> 00:19:46,750
That'’s just, like,
the rules of feminism!
424
00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:52,190
Don'’t worry.
425
00:19:52,364 --> 00:19:54,627
I will never tell Regina
what you said.
426
00:19:54,801 --> 00:19:56,542
I am very trustworthy.
427
00:19:56,716 --> 00:19:59,023
Karen'’s had sex with 11 people
and I'’ve never told anyone.
428
00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:01,721
Yo, Golf Bird.
429
00:20:01,895 --> 00:20:03,984
- Those fractions were tight.
- What?
430
00:20:04,158 --> 00:20:07,292
"Caddy Heron." "Golf Bird."
431
00:20:07,466 --> 00:20:08,989
- I don'’t like it.
- I don'’t get it.
432
00:20:09,163 --> 00:20:12,079
I'’m Kevin Ganatra.
I'’m from your Calc class.
433
00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:14,952
I sit diagonally from you.
434
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:17,171
I'’m also captain
of the North Shore Mathletes.
435
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:21,088
We'’re a very chill, dope,
extracurricular option.
436
00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:22,655
You know,
serve your college rezzy
437
00:20:22,829 --> 00:20:24,788
- and your thirst for knolly.
- Don'’t say "knolly."
438
00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:26,964
Also Ms. Norbury says
we get twice as much funding
439
00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:29,227
if we had a girl on the team,
so think about joining,
440
00:20:29,401 --> 00:20:30,968
because we'’d love
to get jackets.
441
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:32,883
Okay, yeah, sure.
Where do I...
442
00:20:33,057 --> 00:20:34,101
No, no,
you cannot join Mathletes.
443
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:35,364
That is, like,
socially ruinous!
444
00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:38,280
Ew, no.
Why is he by our table?
445
00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:39,803
I can hear you, by the way.
446
00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:41,370
Can you hear me now?
447
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,894
[softly] Bye.
448
00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:47,201
Uh, anyways,
uh, just take my card
in case you change your mind?
449
00:20:50,596 --> 00:20:51,597
[sighs]
450
00:20:53,860 --> 00:20:56,428
God, you are so lucky
you have us to guide you.
451
00:20:56,602 --> 00:20:58,648
What are you doing
after school today?
452
00:20:58,822 --> 00:21:00,389
I want to give you some shoes.
453
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:02,304
[chuckles][school bell rings]
454
00:21:03,130 --> 00:21:04,741
What kind of shoes?
455
00:21:04,915 --> 00:21:07,483
I have no idea. I guess, um,
something fancier than these?
456
00:21:08,048 --> 00:21:09,963
She'’s so rude!
457
00:21:10,137 --> 00:21:12,575
I mean, maybe
she'’s just being generous.
458
00:21:12,749 --> 00:21:14,794
Maybe we can have
a commensal relationship.
459
00:21:14,968 --> 00:21:17,144
What is that? I want one.
460
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:20,887
[chuckles] So, in nature,
okay, so lions,
461
00:21:21,061 --> 00:21:22,759
they'’re the apex predators, right?
462
00:21:22,933 --> 00:21:23,934
They'’re the top
of the food chain.
463
00:21:24,108 --> 00:21:26,284
They can kill anything
they want.
464
00:21:26,458 --> 00:21:28,547
But if you'’re a hyena, well,
465
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:31,594
then you follow them around
and you eat the carcasses
that they leave behind.
466
00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:33,247
- Whoa.
- Gretchen Wieners is a hyena.
467
00:21:33,422 --> 00:21:34,336
Got it.[chuckles]
468
00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:36,381
No, I did not say that.
469
00:21:36,555 --> 00:21:38,601
I'’m just saying, if you'’re
on Regina'’s good side...
470
00:21:38,775 --> 00:21:40,080
Whoa, Caddy! No, no, no.
471
00:21:40,254 --> 00:21:42,300
Regina George does not have
a good side, okay?
472
00:21:42,474 --> 00:21:43,867
If you go over
to her house today...
473
00:21:44,041 --> 00:21:45,259
I am not joking,
474
00:21:46,173 --> 00:21:47,653
be careful.
475
00:21:50,090 --> 00:21:52,049
[roaring, chittering]
476
00:21:58,577 --> 00:22:00,405
[Janis]
♪ Don'’t be fooled by the pink ♪
477
00:22:00,579 --> 00:22:02,451
♪ She is not playing dolls ♪
478
00:22:02,625 --> 00:22:06,411
♪ She is stalking the halls
For the thrill of the kill ♪
479
00:22:06,585 --> 00:22:10,415
♪ Every person in school
Is aware of her stare ♪
480
00:22:10,589 --> 00:22:14,419
♪ When she tosses her hair
They go perfectly still ♪
481
00:22:14,593 --> 00:22:18,423
♪ All their eyes say
"Don'’t attack me"♪
482
00:22:18,597 --> 00:22:22,427
♪ Watch them sweat
And pant and shake ♪
483
00:22:22,601 --> 00:22:26,779
♪ Every food chain
Has its acme ♪
484
00:22:26,953 --> 00:22:29,869
♪ Regina George eats steak ♪
485
00:22:30,043 --> 00:22:34,570
♪ She'’s the queen of beasts
She can smell your fear ♪
486
00:22:34,744 --> 00:22:38,400
♪ In this biosphere
She'’s the apex predator ♪
487
00:22:38,574 --> 00:22:40,489
[Damian] ♪ Like a lioness ♪
488
00:22:40,663 --> 00:22:44,231
♪ Only with less fur
Do not mess with her ♪
489
00:22:44,406 --> 00:22:46,233
[Janis]
♪ She'’s the apex predator ♪
490
00:22:48,975 --> 00:22:51,456
Jason is crotch-sitting
Taylor Wedell.
491
00:22:52,501 --> 00:22:54,372
Absolutely not.
492
00:22:54,546 --> 00:22:56,330
♪ At the watering hole ♪
493
00:22:56,505 --> 00:22:58,158
♪ See the girls
Who weren'’t nice ♪
494
00:22:58,332 --> 00:23:00,334
♪ Have to scatter like mice ♪[chittering]
495
00:23:00,509 --> 00:23:02,641
♪ From a jungle cat ♪
496
00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:06,297
♪ And though Janis is great
She does not have this power ♪
497
00:23:06,471 --> 00:23:08,560
♪ People literally cower ♪[roars]
498
00:23:08,734 --> 00:23:10,214
♪ Janis can'’t do that ♪
499
00:23:10,388 --> 00:23:14,479
♪ See her mark her territory ♪
500
00:23:14,653 --> 00:23:17,482
♪ As they follow in her train ♪
501
00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:22,879
♪ They were victims
In their stories ♪
502
00:23:23,053 --> 00:23:26,448
[Damian, Janis]
♪ Now they shake their mane ♪
503
00:23:26,622 --> 00:23:30,190
♪ She'’s the queen of beasts
And you'’re in her pride ♪
504
00:23:30,364 --> 00:23:32,279
♪ You have hitched a ride ♪
505
00:23:32,454 --> 00:23:34,586
♪ With the apex predator ♪
506
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:38,590
♪ And it'’s kind of fun
When she bares her claws ♪
507
00:23:38,764 --> 00:23:40,374
[Damian, Janis] ♪ You think
You'’re safe because ♪
508
00:23:40,549 --> 00:23:42,115
♪ You'’re with
The apex predator ♪
509
00:23:42,289 --> 00:23:44,378
Do you think she'’ll be mad
if I like Aaron?
510
00:23:44,553 --> 00:23:46,685
- Samuels? Are you unwell?
- You can'’t like
Aaron Samuels!
511
00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:47,773
Okay, okay!
512
00:23:47,947 --> 00:23:49,906
I'’ll be careful. I promise.
513
00:23:52,691 --> 00:23:56,173
[Damian] ♪ Do not think
You'’ll be protected ♪
514
00:23:56,347 --> 00:24:00,046
♪ By your new exotic pet ♪
515
00:24:00,220 --> 00:24:04,442
♪ Not a chance
If she suspected ♪
516
00:24:04,616 --> 00:24:07,924
♪ You were any kind
Of reproductive threat ♪
517
00:24:08,098 --> 00:24:10,013
♪ But she doesn'’t know yet ♪
518
00:24:10,187 --> 00:24:12,406
♪ She doesn'’t know yet! ♪
519
00:24:12,581 --> 00:24:16,498
♪ She'’s the queen of beasts
At this beastly school ♪
520
00:24:16,672 --> 00:24:20,327
♪ Got to keep things cool
With the apex predator!♪
521
00:24:30,163 --> 00:24:31,251
Get in, loser.
522
00:24:34,603 --> 00:24:36,735
♪ With the apex predator! ♪
523
00:24:36,909 --> 00:24:40,739
♪ Will she braid your hair?
Will she eat your heart?♪
524
00:24:40,913 --> 00:24:44,787
♪ How can you outsmart ♪
525
00:24:44,961 --> 00:24:46,615
[Damian] ♪ The apex predator? ♪
526
00:24:49,095 --> 00:24:50,575
♪ The apex predator? ♪
527
00:24:50,749 --> 00:24:52,577
[Damian, Janis]
♪ The apex predator! ♪
528
00:24:53,578 --> 00:24:56,755
You guys! Hey...
529
00:24:57,756 --> 00:25:00,193
Happy hump day, besties!
530
00:25:00,367 --> 00:25:03,066
Hi, Mrs. George.
531
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,589
This is Cady.
532
00:25:04,763 --> 00:25:06,591
- I just moved here.
- From Kenya.
533
00:25:06,765 --> 00:25:11,117
Welcome, Cady from Kenya.
[chuckles]
534
00:25:11,291 --> 00:25:14,947
We haven'’t had any new meat
in our little lady taco
in so long.
535
00:25:15,121 --> 00:25:16,209
Mom, go make snacks.
536
00:25:16,383 --> 00:25:18,037
For sure.
For sure, Regina, yeah.
537
00:25:18,211 --> 00:25:19,691
Thank you so much,
Mrs. George.
538
00:25:19,865 --> 00:25:21,693
You have a beautiful mansion.
539
00:25:21,867 --> 00:25:25,479
Just slay, queens.
Slay like no one'’s watching.
540
00:25:25,654 --> 00:25:28,352
But everybody'’s watching.
Because you'’re gorgeous!
541
00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:35,577
Wow, your room is really nice.
542
00:25:35,751 --> 00:25:39,189
Thanks.
It used to be my parents'’,
but I made them trade me.
543
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:50,504
Cady! I made you
a Spotify playlist
544
00:25:50,679 --> 00:25:52,768
to help you catch up
on culture.
545
00:25:52,942 --> 00:25:56,032
Karen, come here.
I want to fix your eyebrows.
546
00:25:56,206 --> 00:25:57,163
Can I still have two?
547
00:25:57,337 --> 00:25:59,644
- Gretchen, move.
- Sorry.
548
00:25:59,818 --> 00:26:02,386
God, my hips are so wide.
549
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,083
God, my pores are huge!
550
00:26:04,257 --> 00:26:06,129
I want skin like Cady'’s.
551
00:26:07,260 --> 00:26:09,262
My B.O. smells like crayons.
552
00:26:12,222 --> 00:26:15,181
Um, me, too! I'’m ugly, too.
553
00:26:15,355 --> 00:26:17,575
[chuckles]
Oh, my God, I love her.
She'’s like a Martian.
554
00:26:17,749 --> 00:26:19,490
Who'’s hungry?
555
00:26:19,664 --> 00:26:20,970
Now, Cady,
556
00:26:21,144 --> 00:26:24,495
this is a very American snack
called guac.
557
00:26:24,669 --> 00:26:26,889
Is it okay or are you vegan?
558
00:26:27,063 --> 00:26:28,934
Oh, no, I'’m an omnivore.
559
00:26:29,108 --> 00:26:30,980
Yum-yum-yum. Okay, come here!
560
00:26:31,154 --> 00:26:33,896
I need you
to tell me everything.
561
00:26:34,070 --> 00:26:36,942
Have you seen any boys
that you think are cute yet?
562
00:26:37,116 --> 00:26:40,250
Oh. Uh, well, I...[Gretchen coughing]
563
00:26:40,424 --> 00:26:41,947
No.
564
00:26:42,121 --> 00:26:44,428
Well, don'’t worry.
It'’s just a matter of time.
565
00:26:44,602 --> 00:26:48,171
You know, I always say
that this school district
has the highest taxes,
566
00:26:48,345 --> 00:26:50,826
- but the hottest boys.
- That'’s disgusting.
567
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,306
Oh, Regina!
You'’re never gonna believe
what I found
568
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:54,699
in your closet this morning.
569
00:26:54,873 --> 00:26:56,309
Why were you in my closet?
570
00:26:56,483 --> 00:26:58,181
Because I'’m doing
that Japanese organizing thing
571
00:26:58,355 --> 00:27:00,836
where you take a little nap
in the closet.
572
00:27:01,010 --> 00:27:02,359
[Mrs. George gasps]
573
00:27:02,533 --> 00:27:05,536
I found your Burn Book!
574
00:27:05,710 --> 00:27:08,408
Cady, this is just, like,
the funniest thing
575
00:27:08,582 --> 00:27:09,932
that the girls used to do.
576
00:27:10,106 --> 00:27:11,368
Please leave.[Mrs. George] You got it, baby.
577
00:27:11,542 --> 00:27:13,152
But, girls, I'’m gonna be
right downstairs
578
00:27:13,326 --> 00:27:15,067
if you need to talk to me
about anything.
579
00:27:15,241 --> 00:27:19,071
I mean it. Deep stuff
or boy troubles or blackheads
580
00:27:19,245 --> 00:27:21,421
or alcohol poisoning.
581
00:27:21,595 --> 00:27:23,554
You know, I have
been through it all.
582
00:27:23,728 --> 00:27:26,252
Honey, I am not a regular mom.
583
00:27:26,426 --> 00:27:29,212
I'’m @coolmom with six O'’s.
584
00:27:29,386 --> 00:27:31,388
Hashtag AgingHotly. Hashtag...
585
00:27:31,562 --> 00:27:33,433
Get out.[Mrs. George] Okay.
586
00:27:33,607 --> 00:27:35,914
Girls, just have so much fun.
587
00:27:36,088 --> 00:27:40,353
[chuckles] Remember,
these are the best days
of your life.
588
00:27:41,572 --> 00:27:43,617
It does not get better.
589
00:27:46,446 --> 00:27:49,754
I remember this.
It was the week they took
all of our phones away.
590
00:27:52,409 --> 00:27:55,412
[Gretchen] "Trang Pham is
a grotsky little byotch."
591
00:27:55,586 --> 00:27:56,848
[laughs]
Still true.
592
00:27:57,022 --> 00:27:59,895
"Dawn Schweitzer
is a horny shrimp."
593
00:28:00,069 --> 00:28:01,635
Well, she'’s taller now.
594
00:28:01,810 --> 00:28:05,335
[Gretchen] Oh, my God.
"Janis '’Imi'’ike, Pyro-Lez."
595
00:28:05,509 --> 00:28:06,815
I forgot about that.
596
00:28:06,989 --> 00:28:08,468
Oh, my God, she is so weird.
597
00:28:08,642 --> 00:28:10,514
She is? She'’s in my homeroom.
598
00:28:10,688 --> 00:28:13,560
Oh, well, watch out,
'’cause she'’s violent.
599
00:28:13,735 --> 00:28:15,780
Yeah, people think
she'’s really good at art,
600
00:28:15,954 --> 00:28:17,956
but it'’s just '’cause
she had to do art therapy.
601
00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:20,654
Yeah, Regina tried
to be friends with her
in middle school.
602
00:28:20,829 --> 00:28:22,178
Oh, my God,
she was obsessed with me.
603
00:28:22,352 --> 00:28:24,571
And then when I got
my first boyfriend, Kyle,
604
00:28:24,746 --> 00:28:26,748
she lit my backpack on fire.
605
00:28:28,358 --> 00:28:29,620
[Karen] Who'’s that?
606
00:28:29,794 --> 00:28:32,014
[Regina] Mmm...
That'’s that kid Damian.
607
00:28:32,188 --> 00:28:34,407
Oh, yeah, he'’s almost too gay
to function.
608
00:28:34,581 --> 00:28:36,192
[laughing]
609
00:28:36,366 --> 00:28:38,107
No, I didn'’t... I didn'’t
mean that in a bad way.
610
00:28:38,281 --> 00:28:40,196
No, that'’s funny.
Put that in there.
611
00:28:40,370 --> 00:28:41,458
Um...
612
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,504
No, I don'’t... Oh! No, no.
613
00:28:44,678 --> 00:28:46,593
Don'’t worry, Cady,
we only write stuff
about randos in here.
614
00:28:46,768 --> 00:28:49,814
Friends are, like,
very deserving of respect.
615
00:28:49,988 --> 00:28:52,425
Gretchen... she gets it.
616
00:28:53,165 --> 00:28:54,210
Go find the shoes.
617
00:28:55,037 --> 00:28:56,212
[chuckles]
618
00:28:56,386 --> 00:28:58,562
The shoes we'’re giving
to Cady.
619
00:28:58,736 --> 00:29:02,044
Oh, my God, you are literally
being so annoying.
620
00:29:03,828 --> 00:29:04,698
Sorry.
621
00:29:14,447 --> 00:29:15,579
Are you okay?
622
00:29:15,753 --> 00:29:17,668
No... uh, totally.
623
00:29:17,842 --> 00:29:19,626
Regina'’s just joking.
624
00:29:19,801 --> 00:29:21,498
These are cute. Try '’em.
625
00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:26,155
Once I processed that Regina'’s
love language is anger,
626
00:29:26,329 --> 00:29:27,373
it'’s been much...
627
00:29:28,766 --> 00:29:31,116
Aw.
628
00:29:31,290 --> 00:29:34,032
It'’s the music box
I gave Regina
that my abuelito gave me.
629
00:29:36,992 --> 00:29:39,298
[music box playing gentle music]
630
00:29:43,868 --> 00:29:46,392
♪ Tell me
What'’s wrong with me ♪
631
00:29:46,566 --> 00:29:49,047
♪ My body, face, my hair ♪
632
00:29:50,135 --> 00:29:53,747
♪ Tell me all my many faults ♪
633
00:29:53,922 --> 00:29:55,619
♪ Tell me like you care ♪
634
00:29:55,793 --> 00:29:58,970
♪ When we both
Know you'’re cruel ♪
635
00:29:59,144 --> 00:30:02,278
♪ And we both know
You'’re right ♪
636
00:30:02,452 --> 00:30:05,542
♪ I could listen to you ♪
637
00:30:05,716 --> 00:30:08,675
♪ Like a fool all night ♪
638
00:30:08,850 --> 00:30:11,765
♪ What'’s wrong with me? ♪
639
00:30:11,940 --> 00:30:14,812
♪ How I speak?
How I dress?♪
640
00:30:14,986 --> 00:30:18,337
♪ What'’s wrong with me? ♪
641
00:30:18,511 --> 00:30:21,906
♪ You keep me guessing ♪
642
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:27,042
♪ Mama called me "beautiful"
Don'’t believe her anymore ♪
643
00:30:27,216 --> 00:30:30,610
♪ Now I'’m listening to you ♪
644
00:30:30,784 --> 00:30:33,962
♪ What do I do that for? ♪
645
00:30:34,136 --> 00:30:39,924
♪ Please don'’t ignore me ♪
646
00:30:40,838 --> 00:30:43,319
[humming]
647
00:30:45,190 --> 00:30:46,278
[Regina] Gretchen!
648
00:30:46,452 --> 00:30:47,889
What are you doing in there?
649
00:30:48,063 --> 00:30:49,455
I'’m... I'’m gonna go.
650
00:30:49,629 --> 00:30:51,762
Yep. Be right there!
651
00:30:54,112 --> 00:30:56,680
[cranking music box][gentle music resumes]
652
00:30:56,854 --> 00:30:58,943
♪ What'’s wrong with me?
What can I do?♪
653
00:30:59,117 --> 00:31:01,685
♪ What'’s wrong with me?
Could it be you?♪
654
00:31:01,859 --> 00:31:03,252
♪ It'’s probably me ♪
655
00:31:03,426 --> 00:31:06,081
♪ See that? You see? ♪
656
00:31:06,255 --> 00:31:09,258
♪ What'’s wrong with me? ♪
657
00:31:09,432 --> 00:31:11,738
[humming]
658
00:31:22,706 --> 00:31:25,143
They have this book,
this "Burn Book,"
659
00:31:25,317 --> 00:31:27,232
where they write mean things
about girls in our grade.
660
00:31:27,406 --> 00:31:29,495
Ooh, ooh! What does
it say about me?
661
00:31:30,366 --> 00:31:32,411
Um... you'’re not in it.
662
00:31:32,977 --> 00:31:34,283
Those bitches!
663
00:31:34,457 --> 00:31:35,849
What is this, by the way?
It'’s terrible.
664
00:31:36,024 --> 00:31:37,590
Oh, it'’s a Kaälteen bar.
665
00:31:37,764 --> 00:31:39,810
Here, my mom used to give them
to elderly people in Kapedo
666
00:31:39,984 --> 00:31:42,073
to help them
- gain weight.
- Mmm.
667
00:31:42,247 --> 00:31:43,945
I can feel it working.
668
00:31:44,119 --> 00:31:46,382
We should, like, crush this up
and put it in Regina'’s food!
669
00:31:46,556 --> 00:31:47,861
- [Cady] What?
- Oh.
670
00:31:48,036 --> 00:31:49,428
No. No, no.
671
00:31:49,602 --> 00:31:51,300
I will keep having
lunch with them, that'’s it.
672
00:31:51,474 --> 00:31:54,477
Also, we feel bad
we yelled at you
673
00:31:54,651 --> 00:31:56,174
about liking Aaron.[groans]
674
00:31:56,348 --> 00:31:58,524
You should go
for what you want.
675
00:31:58,698 --> 00:32:00,874
- Hetero allyship.
- Oh, okay.
676
00:32:01,049 --> 00:32:03,660
[Cady] It'’s so dumb. I only
ever see him in Calc anyway.
677
00:32:03,834 --> 00:32:07,359
Oh. You'’re definitely
safe in Calc.
678
00:32:07,533 --> 00:32:09,318
Regina will never set foot
in there.
679
00:32:22,853 --> 00:32:24,768
- New shoes?
- Uh, yeah.
680
00:32:24,942 --> 00:32:26,509
Regina gave them to me.
681
00:32:26,683 --> 00:32:29,207
Huh. I didn'’t know
you guys were friends.
682
00:32:29,381 --> 00:32:30,992
[Ms. Norbury]
Okay, let'’s get back into it.
683
00:32:31,166 --> 00:32:32,732
Continuity.
Removable discont...
684
00:32:32,906 --> 00:32:34,125
Cady? Eyes up front, please.
685
00:32:35,561 --> 00:32:37,694
Let'’s get back
into where we were Thursday.
686
00:32:37,868 --> 00:32:39,870
Who was awake Thursday?
Who was still awake?
687
00:32:41,611 --> 00:32:43,308
[Cady] I like your jacket.
688
00:32:43,482 --> 00:32:44,701
Thanks, I made it.
689
00:32:44,875 --> 00:32:46,572
But why do you sew
on top of your drawings?
690
00:32:46,746 --> 00:32:49,445
It'’s... like the drawings
are facts
691
00:32:49,619 --> 00:32:50,837
and the threads are feelings.
692
00:32:51,012 --> 00:32:53,101
It'’s so cool. [chuckles]
693
00:32:55,755 --> 00:32:58,367
So, you talk to your man yet?
694
00:32:58,541 --> 00:33:00,195
[chuckles]
695
00:33:00,369 --> 00:33:02,110
[Cady] I mean, I don'’t even
know what to say to him.
696
00:33:02,284 --> 00:33:05,200
I always come off sounding
like a lunatic.
697
00:33:05,374 --> 00:33:07,245
- Do you like gum?
- Sure.
698
00:33:08,551 --> 00:33:10,901
Oh, I don'’t have any.
I was just...
699
00:33:11,075 --> 00:33:13,295
Oh. [chuckles lightly]
700
00:33:15,993 --> 00:33:19,736
[chuckles] What?
Why did you say that?
701
00:33:19,910 --> 00:33:23,174
Maybe just try to have
one successful interaction
per day?
702
00:33:26,221 --> 00:33:28,440
- I like your shirt.
- Thanks.
703
00:33:28,614 --> 00:33:30,747
It smells like sausage
from the last time I wore it.
704
00:33:32,183 --> 00:33:33,184
[both chuckle]
705
00:33:34,272 --> 00:33:36,013
Dear God, woman.
706
00:33:36,187 --> 00:33:39,451
Have you successfully been
a functioning human being
even once?
707
00:33:41,279 --> 00:33:44,630
On October 3rd,
he asked me what day it was.
708
00:33:44,804 --> 00:33:47,329
- What day is it?
- It'’s October 3rd.
709
00:33:47,503 --> 00:33:51,376
♪ October 3rd ♪
710
00:33:51,550 --> 00:33:53,117
That was two weeks ago.
711
00:33:54,553 --> 00:33:55,946
But today I kind of...
712
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:57,252
I don'’t know,
I tried something
713
00:33:57,426 --> 00:34:00,211
and it just came to me
instinctively.
714
00:34:02,083 --> 00:34:03,475
I said I was lost.
715
00:34:03,649 --> 00:34:06,217
I'’m totally lost.
Can you help me?
716
00:34:07,262 --> 00:34:08,654
But I wasn'’t lost.
717
00:34:08,828 --> 00:34:10,439
I knew exactly what
Ms. Norbury was talking about.
718
00:34:10,613 --> 00:34:14,051
[softly] It'’s the derivative
of the natural log function.
719
00:34:14,225 --> 00:34:16,836
You just take the reciprocal
of the ln.
720
00:34:18,577 --> 00:34:19,404
Thanks.
721
00:34:20,710 --> 00:34:22,712
You'’re so smart.[chuckles]
722
00:34:24,844 --> 00:34:25,845
He was wrong.
723
00:34:26,019 --> 00:34:27,586
Wait, wait. Hold up.
724
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,545
- Guys, pause!
- Oh.
725
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:30,720
[music stops]
726
00:34:32,461 --> 00:34:34,158
You pretended to be dumb
727
00:34:34,332 --> 00:34:36,682
so you could keep talking
to a guy?
728
00:34:36,856 --> 00:34:39,555
Uh... Yeah. It worked.
729
00:34:39,729 --> 00:34:41,383
'’Cause that shit
always works, Caddy.
730
00:34:41,557 --> 00:34:43,036
It doesn'’t mean
that it'’s not evil.
731
00:34:43,211 --> 00:34:46,083
Fracking "works."
Red-lining "works."
732
00:34:46,257 --> 00:34:48,129
Gasoline and rags...
733
00:34:48,303 --> 00:34:50,522
Aren'’t you worried
Regina will eat your face
if she finds out?
734
00:34:50,696 --> 00:34:52,350
No, she won'’t find out.
735
00:34:52,524 --> 00:34:55,658
It'’s just my little
Calculus class secret.
736
00:34:55,832 --> 00:34:58,313
Oh, um...
737
00:34:58,487 --> 00:35:01,229
So its h prime of x
equals five.
738
00:35:01,403 --> 00:35:03,187
You just forgot
the Product Rule.
739
00:35:03,361 --> 00:35:05,058
I don'’t get any of this.
740
00:35:06,669 --> 00:35:07,626
Nice job, Cady.
741
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,585
It sure seems like you get it.
742
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:12,501
[school bell rings]
743
00:35:15,373 --> 00:35:19,943
Hey, my friend Chris is, uh,
having a Halloween party.
744
00:35:20,117 --> 00:35:21,684
Would you want
to come to that?
745
00:35:21,858 --> 00:35:24,034
It'’s like a costume party.
People get pretty into it.
746
00:35:24,208 --> 00:35:25,818
Grool.
747
00:35:25,992 --> 00:35:28,691
I meant to say "great," and
then I started to say "cool."
748
00:35:28,865 --> 00:35:30,040
Okay.
749
00:35:30,736 --> 00:35:31,955
Grool.
750
00:35:34,479 --> 00:35:35,567
[chuckles]
751
00:35:35,741 --> 00:35:36,916
[dings]
752
00:35:37,613 --> 00:35:38,831
Hi.
753
00:35:39,005 --> 00:35:40,355
♪ If I could change the world ♪
754
00:35:40,529 --> 00:35:44,533
♪ I'’d make it Halloween ♪
755
00:35:45,664 --> 00:35:48,450
♪ Every single day ♪
756
00:35:48,624 --> 00:35:51,975
♪ And also have world peace ♪
757
00:35:52,149 --> 00:35:55,108
♪ Maybe world peace
Should be first ♪
758
00:35:55,283 --> 00:35:57,763
♪ World peace
And then Halloween ♪
759
00:35:57,937 --> 00:35:59,287
Wait, let me start over.
760
00:36:01,637 --> 00:36:02,377
[pings]
761
00:36:02,551 --> 00:36:03,726
Hi.
762
00:36:03,900 --> 00:36:05,162
♪ If I could change the world ♪
763
00:36:05,336 --> 00:36:09,601
♪ I'’d make us have world peace ♪
764
00:36:09,775 --> 00:36:13,518
♪ And also Halloween ♪
765
00:36:13,692 --> 00:36:15,999
♪ Every single day ♪
766
00:36:16,173 --> 00:36:17,653
♪ On Halloween ♪
767
00:36:17,827 --> 00:36:21,657
♪ You can pretend
To be someone else ♪
768
00:36:21,831 --> 00:36:24,442
♪ It'’s like the Internet ♪
769
00:36:24,616 --> 00:36:30,405
♪ Only in person
And with candy ♪
770
00:36:30,579 --> 00:36:33,495
Wait. Mama,
use the back camera.
771
00:36:33,669 --> 00:36:37,063
It'’s prettier '’cause science.
772
00:36:37,238 --> 00:36:38,891
♪ When you are
The hot one ♪
773
00:36:39,065 --> 00:36:40,719
♪ It'’s a full-time gig ♪
774
00:36:40,893 --> 00:36:43,809
♪ Lookin'’ like what people
Want to see ♪
775
00:36:43,983 --> 00:36:47,596
♪ Once a year I'’m not
I dress up and dream big ♪
776
00:36:47,770 --> 00:36:49,772
♪ Disguised as someone else
Who is not me ♪
777
00:36:49,946 --> 00:36:51,382
♪ But is still hot! ♪
778
00:36:51,556 --> 00:36:52,688
♪ I can be ♪
779
00:36:52,862 --> 00:36:55,299
♪ Who I want to be and sexy! ♪
780
00:36:55,473 --> 00:36:58,694
♪ I can be
Who I want to be and hot!♪
781
00:36:58,868 --> 00:37:02,393
♪ Don'’t like who you are
Then hit that costume shop ♪
782
00:37:02,567 --> 00:37:06,179
♪ Rock a new
And different sexy look ♪
783
00:37:06,354 --> 00:37:09,487
♪ Why be so downhearted?
Blast some trashy pop ♪
784
00:37:09,661 --> 00:37:12,751
♪ And drop it to this hot
And sexy hook ♪
785
00:37:12,925 --> 00:37:16,973
♪ I can be
Who I want to be and sexy!♪
786
00:37:17,147 --> 00:37:20,542
♪ I can be
Who I want to be and hot!♪
787
00:37:20,716 --> 00:37:23,675
♪ Be somebody new ♪
788
00:37:23,849 --> 00:37:27,853
♪ Do a total transformation ♪
789
00:37:28,027 --> 00:37:31,292
♪ Animal or mineral, too ♪
790
00:37:31,466 --> 00:37:35,383
♪ Or even vegetation! ♪
791
00:37:35,557 --> 00:37:37,167
I give you sexy corn.
792
00:37:37,341 --> 00:37:40,431
♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
793
00:37:40,605 --> 00:37:43,434
♪ And sexy! ♪
794
00:37:43,608 --> 00:37:45,915
[upbeat dance music
playing over speakers]
795
00:37:49,222 --> 00:37:51,181
[teenagers scream][music stops]
796
00:37:54,315 --> 00:37:55,838
Why are you dressed so scary?
797
00:37:56,012 --> 00:37:57,230
It'’s Halloween.
798
00:37:57,405 --> 00:37:58,841
Cady,
if you don'’t dress slutty,
799
00:37:59,015 --> 00:38:00,625
that is slut-shaming us.
800
00:38:06,065 --> 00:38:09,373
Um, it'’s just,
like, traditionally,
801
00:38:09,547 --> 00:38:11,157
girls had to be witches
or clowns
802
00:38:11,332 --> 00:38:14,117
and we'’ve worked really hard
to progress past that.
803
00:38:14,291 --> 00:38:16,075
[Cady] That makes sense.
804
00:38:18,556 --> 00:38:20,471
I'’m gonna go find Aaron.
805
00:38:20,645 --> 00:38:21,646
Okay.
806
00:38:22,604 --> 00:38:23,953
[mouths]
807
00:38:24,127 --> 00:38:26,651
♪ A sexy Quint
From sexy Jaws ♪
808
00:38:26,825 --> 00:38:28,392
♪ Catching sexy sharks ♪
809
00:38:28,566 --> 00:38:32,004
♪ Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt
Or sexy Joan of Arc ♪
810
00:38:32,178 --> 00:38:35,747
♪ I can be a sexy pirate
Or a sexy ballet dancer ♪
811
00:38:35,921 --> 00:38:40,535
♪ I can be a sexy doctor
And cure some sexy cancer!♪
812
00:38:40,709 --> 00:38:42,667
That'’s not right,
- is it?
- No.
813
00:38:43,799 --> 00:38:45,540
I can sexy cure some cancer?
814
00:38:45,714 --> 00:38:47,019
No.
815
00:38:47,193 --> 00:38:49,195
I can cure sex cancer!
816
00:38:49,370 --> 00:38:51,241
Sex cancer doesn'’t exist.
817
00:38:51,415 --> 00:38:53,548
[gasps] I did it.
818
00:38:53,722 --> 00:38:54,549
Dance break.
819
00:38:54,723 --> 00:38:56,159
[dubstep music playing]
820
00:38:56,768 --> 00:38:57,943
[vocalizing]
821
00:39:06,822 --> 00:39:08,519
[all] ♪ Happy Halloween! ♪
822
00:39:12,175 --> 00:39:15,961
♪ This is
Modern feminism talkin'’♪
823
00:39:16,135 --> 00:39:19,487
♪ Watch me as I run the world
In shoes I cannot walk in ♪
824
00:39:19,661 --> 00:39:22,925
♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
825
00:39:23,099 --> 00:39:26,537
♪ And sex... sex ♪
826
00:39:26,711 --> 00:39:30,759
♪ Sexy! ♪
827
00:39:32,282 --> 00:39:34,980
I'’m a sexy mouse. Duh!
828
00:39:35,154 --> 00:39:36,852
[electronic music
playing over speakers]
829
00:39:37,026 --> 00:39:38,462
[teenagers chattering]
830
00:39:38,636 --> 00:39:39,942
- Hey.
- Hi.
831
00:39:40,116 --> 00:39:41,291
[Aaron] Cady!
832
00:39:41,465 --> 00:39:42,988
[Karen yelps]
Hi!
833
00:39:43,162 --> 00:39:45,338
- [Karen] Ow.
- Hey. [screams playfully]
834
00:39:45,513 --> 00:39:47,036
[chuckles]
I like your costume.
835
00:39:47,210 --> 00:39:48,907
Different
from everyone else'’s.
836
00:39:49,081 --> 00:39:51,780
[chuckles] I didn'’t know
I was supposed to...
837
00:39:51,954 --> 00:39:52,998
[both chuckle]
838
00:39:53,172 --> 00:39:54,696
I'’m such a weird
foreign loser.
839
00:39:54,870 --> 00:39:56,437
No. It'’s great.
840
00:39:57,742 --> 00:39:58,874
You want a drink?
841
00:39:59,048 --> 00:40:01,050
Thanks.
Uh, do they have juice?
842
00:40:02,530 --> 00:40:04,314
I can check. Wait here.
843
00:40:07,012 --> 00:40:09,841
I think you and Aaron
would be a really cute couple.
844
00:40:10,015 --> 00:40:11,190
- Really?
- Yeah.
845
00:40:11,364 --> 00:40:12,757
I just said so.
Don'’t be thirsty.
846
00:40:12,931 --> 00:40:15,934
You know, I could talk
to him for you. If you want.
847
00:40:16,108 --> 00:40:18,241
See if he likes you back.
848
00:40:18,415 --> 00:40:20,591
- You would do that for me?
- Mm-hmm.
849
00:40:20,765 --> 00:40:23,246
Trust me. I know exactly
how to play it.
850
00:40:26,989 --> 00:40:29,382
- I need to talk to you.
- Me?
851
00:40:29,557 --> 00:40:31,167
I thought you were done
talking to me
852
00:40:31,341 --> 00:40:32,951
when you started talking
to Shane last summer.
853
00:40:33,125 --> 00:40:36,346
Shut up. '’Cause you know
that homeschooled girl, Cady?
854
00:40:37,478 --> 00:40:38,957
Yeah, I invited her tonight.
855
00:40:40,350 --> 00:40:41,873
Yeah, well, be careful.
856
00:40:42,047 --> 00:40:43,614
'’Cause she has
a huge crush on you.
857
00:40:43,788 --> 00:40:46,399
[laughs]
Really?
858
00:40:46,574 --> 00:40:48,097
Don'’t be gross.
859
00:40:48,793 --> 00:40:50,534
She'’s my friend and...
860
00:40:50,708 --> 00:40:54,364
[sighs] ...she'’s, like, really
inexperienced and, um...
861
00:41:00,109 --> 00:41:02,372
Wow, sorry.
862
00:41:02,546 --> 00:41:04,417
I didn'’t think this
would be so hard for me.
863
00:41:04,592 --> 00:41:05,680
What?
864
00:41:05,854 --> 00:41:07,246
I don'’t know,
I guess I just...
865
00:41:07,420 --> 00:41:10,423
just have, like, a lot
of, like, unresolved trauma
866
00:41:10,598 --> 00:41:12,164
from how things ended with us.
867
00:41:12,338 --> 00:41:13,775
Give me a break.
868
00:41:15,254 --> 00:41:16,299
[scoffs]
869
00:41:17,692 --> 00:41:18,693
Regina.
870
00:41:20,912 --> 00:41:22,566
- Regina.
- Leave me alone.
871
00:41:22,740 --> 00:41:24,481
G, why are you upset?
872
00:41:24,655 --> 00:41:25,743
Please.
873
00:41:25,917 --> 00:41:28,920
[Aaron] What do you mean,
please? G!
874
00:41:29,094 --> 00:41:31,270
[ominous intro music playing]
875
00:41:41,716 --> 00:41:44,588
[Regina] ♪ Yes, I look perfect ♪
876
00:41:44,762 --> 00:41:47,025
♪ Ice Queen
That'’s what you see ♪
877
00:41:47,199 --> 00:41:50,463
♪ It'’s what they all expect
From me ♪
878
00:41:50,638 --> 00:41:53,379
♪ But it'’s all show ♪
879
00:41:53,554 --> 00:41:56,208
♪ Face it, you used me ♪
880
00:41:56,382 --> 00:41:59,037
♪ You saw the sexy clothes ♪
881
00:41:59,211 --> 00:42:02,867
♪ My supermodel pose ♪
882
00:42:03,041 --> 00:42:05,174
♪ What did you know? ♪
883
00:42:05,348 --> 00:42:08,351
♪ Was I a game to you? ♪
884
00:42:08,525 --> 00:42:11,180
♪ Was I a way to be cool? ♪
885
00:42:11,354 --> 00:42:14,444
♪ I truly cared ♪
886
00:42:14,618 --> 00:42:17,316
♪ Was I the fool? ♪
887
00:42:17,490 --> 00:42:19,884
♪ It'’s fine for you ♪
888
00:42:20,058 --> 00:42:23,105
♪ It'’s fine to flirt ♪
889
00:42:23,279 --> 00:42:28,110
♪ It'’s fine ♪
890
00:42:28,284 --> 00:42:29,677
♪ Till someone gets hurt ♪
891
00:42:29,851 --> 00:42:31,766
[rustling]
892
00:42:35,726 --> 00:42:38,033
♪ Feel my heart beating? ♪
893
00:42:38,207 --> 00:42:41,166
♪ I'’m just like her or you ♪
894
00:42:41,340 --> 00:42:44,343
♪ People forget I'’m human, too ♪
895
00:42:44,517 --> 00:42:46,607
♪ Yes, they do that ♪
896
00:42:47,912 --> 00:42:50,567
♪ This is performance ♪
897
00:42:50,741 --> 00:42:53,657
♪ This is all self-defense ♪
898
00:42:53,831 --> 00:42:56,747
♪ I thought you had the sense ♪
899
00:42:56,921 --> 00:42:59,315
♪ To see through that ♪
900
00:42:59,489 --> 00:43:02,231
♪ Was I too proud with you? ♪
901
00:43:02,405 --> 00:43:05,626
♪ Was I too cold
And forbidding?♪
902
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,803
♪ You chose her over me
Well ♪
903
00:43:08,977 --> 00:43:11,327
♪ Are you kidding? ♪
904
00:43:11,501 --> 00:43:13,895
♪ It'’s fine for you ♪
905
00:43:14,069 --> 00:43:16,375
♪ It'’s fine to flirt ♪
906
00:43:17,289 --> 00:43:21,990
♪ It'’s fine ♪
907
00:43:22,164 --> 00:43:24,035
♪ Till someone gets hurt ♪
908
00:43:24,209 --> 00:43:26,255
[intense rock music playing]
909
00:43:28,387 --> 00:43:33,610
♪ Till someone gets hurt! ♪
910
00:43:35,525 --> 00:43:37,092
♪ Poor little me ♪
911
00:43:37,266 --> 00:43:41,052
♪ I'’m trapped
In this fabulous show ♪
912
00:43:41,226 --> 00:43:43,925
♪ You could set me free ♪
913
00:43:44,099 --> 00:43:48,799
♪ But if you'’re going, go ♪
914
00:43:51,367 --> 00:43:54,326
♪ It'’s fine for you ♪
915
00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:57,112
♪ It'’s fine to flirt ♪
916
00:43:57,286 --> 00:44:00,376
♪ And, God, you'’re hot! ♪
917
00:44:00,550 --> 00:44:03,335
♪ Why do you even
Wear a shirt?♪
918
00:44:03,509 --> 00:44:07,383
♪ No, it'’s fine ♪
919
00:44:07,557 --> 00:44:09,515
♪ Damn, you'’re fine! ♪
920
00:44:09,690 --> 00:44:14,738
♪ And it'’s fine ♪
921
00:44:14,912 --> 00:44:16,044
♪ Till someone gets... ♪
922
00:44:16,218 --> 00:44:19,003
[gasps][intense outro music playing]
923
00:44:30,232 --> 00:44:32,495
[suspenseful music
playing over TV]
924
00:44:42,244 --> 00:44:43,245
[screams]
925
00:44:44,681 --> 00:44:47,902
She took him back.
She took Aaron back.
926
00:44:48,076 --> 00:44:49,904
Of course she did.
927
00:44:50,078 --> 00:44:52,689
It'’s because Regina'’s
a life ruiner!
928
00:44:52,863 --> 00:44:54,256
When we were in sixth grade,
she told everybody
929
00:44:54,430 --> 00:44:55,866
that Janis was... Damian!
930
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:57,912
Okay. She does not need
to hear that right now.
931
00:44:58,086 --> 00:45:00,131
No, I know the story.
932
00:45:00,305 --> 00:45:02,786
You lit a fire '’cause Regina
got a boyfriend.
933
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:04,353
[Damian] She said what?
934
00:45:04,527 --> 00:45:05,789
Oh, hell no.
935
00:45:05,963 --> 00:45:09,227
Damian... No! The truth
will be told.
936
00:45:09,401 --> 00:45:10,576
Stay with me, Cady.
937
00:45:15,146 --> 00:45:18,497
Like all history,
this is emotionally layered
and culturally dense.
938
00:45:22,371 --> 00:45:24,895
Janis and Regina were
best friends in middle school.
939
00:45:25,069 --> 00:45:29,073
And at that time, females
expressed their identities
through collectible plushies.
940
00:45:29,247 --> 00:45:30,858
I don'’t know what those...
941
00:45:31,032 --> 00:45:35,123
It'’s these bastards.
And they were everywhere.
942
00:45:35,297 --> 00:45:38,735
Regina gave Janis a BFF set
for her birthday.
943
00:45:38,909 --> 00:45:40,955
Janis put a rainbow patch
on hers.
944
00:45:41,129 --> 00:45:42,783
This is how she came out
to her friend.
945
00:45:42,957 --> 00:45:44,262
And Regina put one
on hers, too,
946
00:45:44,436 --> 00:45:47,091
out of allyship because
she used to be human.
947
00:45:47,265 --> 00:45:52,009
Cut to eight months later,
Regina becomes obsessed
with this gross boy. Kyle!
948
00:45:52,183 --> 00:45:54,533
Your scale is
- completely off.
- Hush!
949
00:45:56,535 --> 00:45:58,668
One night, they were
all playing spin the bottle...
950
00:45:58,842 --> 00:46:01,671
And Regina was worried
that Kyle liked Karen more.
951
00:46:01,845 --> 00:46:05,109
So when she spun
and got Janis,
952
00:46:05,980 --> 00:46:07,503
Regina put on a little show.
953
00:46:10,114 --> 00:46:10,941
[dolls gasp]
954
00:46:11,115 --> 00:46:12,464
And Kyle was like "boing"!
955
00:46:12,638 --> 00:46:13,901
And Regina was like...
956
00:46:14,075 --> 00:46:15,293
[as Regina]
..."I knew she would let me!
957
00:46:15,467 --> 00:46:17,774
She'’s, like,
obsessed with me!"
958
00:46:17,948 --> 00:46:19,210
[in normal voice] Not okay.
959
00:46:19,384 --> 00:46:21,169
Please put this all back
in its box.
960
00:46:21,343 --> 00:46:22,997
They got into a huge fight.
961
00:46:23,171 --> 00:46:24,955
Regina started avoiding Janis
at school,
962
00:46:25,129 --> 00:46:26,827
but did she give back
that plush animal?
963
00:46:27,001 --> 00:46:29,742
Oh, no.
She took it everywhere.
964
00:46:29,917 --> 00:46:32,571
She named her "Sissy Liz"
and she made everyone say
965
00:46:32,745 --> 00:46:33,921
"good morning" to it
every day,
966
00:46:34,095 --> 00:46:35,313
and it was very weird
and boring.
967
00:46:35,487 --> 00:46:36,619
Fast forward.
968
00:46:36,793 --> 00:46:38,534
[Damian] One day in Science,
969
00:46:38,708 --> 00:46:41,232
Regina was making everyone
say hi to Sissy Liz.
970
00:46:41,406 --> 00:46:43,234
And Janis finally heard it.
971
00:46:43,408 --> 00:46:45,846
"Sissy Liz" was short
for "Obsessed Lesbian."
972
00:46:46,020 --> 00:46:48,936
Regina had been making fun
of Janis this entire time
973
00:46:49,110 --> 00:46:50,372
and everyone but her knew it.
974
00:46:51,460 --> 00:46:53,549
So, and this is regrettable...
975
00:46:55,986 --> 00:46:57,335
Janis took
her Bunsen burner...
976
00:46:59,294 --> 00:47:01,818
and torched the doll.
977
00:47:01,992 --> 00:47:04,125
And Regina'’s backpack
caught on fire a little bit
978
00:47:04,299 --> 00:47:07,302
and Janis was kicked
out of school
for the remainder of the year.
979
00:47:07,476 --> 00:47:09,782
And the adults
didn'’t know why.
980
00:47:09,957 --> 00:47:12,263
Janis just seemed crazy.
981
00:47:14,700 --> 00:47:16,572
I'’m really sorry
that happened.
982
00:47:18,574 --> 00:47:20,097
It'’s worse than my thing.
983
00:47:21,664 --> 00:47:23,187
Caddy, don'’t be sorry.
984
00:47:23,361 --> 00:47:26,538
Now you know Regina George
is not your friend.
985
00:47:26,712 --> 00:47:28,366
We are your friends.
986
00:47:28,540 --> 00:47:29,977
And we'’re gonna
make her pay.
987
00:47:31,848 --> 00:47:33,763
[backup singers singing]
988
00:47:33,937 --> 00:47:34,982
[Janis]
♪ You know what friends do? ♪
989
00:47:35,156 --> 00:47:37,027
♪ They got your back ♪
990
00:47:37,201 --> 00:47:39,943
♪ And they are fun
To be around♪♪ Whoa ♪
991
00:47:40,117 --> 00:47:42,163
♪ When someone hurts you
Then they attack ♪
992
00:47:42,337 --> 00:47:44,687
♪ And grind your foe
Into the ground!♪
993
00:47:44,861 --> 00:47:46,602
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
994
00:47:46,776 --> 00:47:49,126
[Janis] ♪ Imagine a party
With dresses and cake ♪
995
00:47:49,300 --> 00:47:52,086
♪ And singing and dancing
And cake ♪
996
00:47:52,260 --> 00:47:55,480
♪ And there'’s a magic act
That saws Regina in half ♪
997
00:47:55,654 --> 00:47:59,136
♪ And this time
It'’ll take♪[screaming]
998
00:47:59,310 --> 00:48:03,314
Now that'’s a party!♪ It'’s a revenge party
A party that ends ♪
999
00:48:03,488 --> 00:48:05,577
♪ With somebody'’s head
On a spike ♪
1000
00:48:05,751 --> 00:48:09,538
♪ It'’s a revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
1001
00:48:09,712 --> 00:48:12,323
♪ It'’s like a party
With revenge
Is what it'’s like ♪
1002
00:48:13,890 --> 00:48:15,152
Caddy, in order
for this to work,
1003
00:48:15,326 --> 00:48:16,719
you need to act
like a huge phony.
1004
00:48:16,893 --> 00:48:18,242
Can you do it?
1005
00:48:18,416 --> 00:48:19,374
I... I think so.
1006
00:48:19,548 --> 00:48:21,332
Practice.
1007
00:48:21,506 --> 00:48:24,379
Regina wanted me to tell you
that she tried
to talk to Aaron,
1008
00:48:24,553 --> 00:48:27,556
but he just wanted her back,
and that'’s not Regina'’s fault.
1009
00:48:27,730 --> 00:48:29,384
Of course. Oh, my gosh.
1010
00:48:30,298 --> 00:48:31,647
Love ya. See you at lunch.
1011
00:48:31,821 --> 00:48:34,563
- Perfect!
- On to phase two.
1012
00:48:34,737 --> 00:48:37,000
♪ I'’ll bring
The glow sticks ♪
1013
00:48:37,174 --> 00:48:39,916
♪ I'’ll bring balloons
And we'’ll have
Chocolate ice cream cones ♪
1014
00:48:40,090 --> 00:48:41,700
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
1015
00:48:41,874 --> 00:48:44,225
♪ I'’ll be the DJ
Spinnin'’ the tunes ♪
1016
00:48:44,399 --> 00:48:47,315
♪ On a turntable made
Of her bones ♪
1017
00:48:47,489 --> 00:48:50,579
[Janis] ♪ We'’ll get a piñata
'’Cause that would be fun ♪
1018
00:48:50,753 --> 00:48:52,146
♪ And play dress up
And Barbies ♪
1019
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:53,799
♪ And tag ♪[chainsaw whirring]
1020
00:48:53,974 --> 00:48:55,192
♪ And we'’ll roll on the grass ♪
1021
00:48:55,366 --> 00:48:57,064
♪ And stare up at the sun ♪
1022
00:48:57,238 --> 00:48:59,936
♪ Then we'’ll stuff her remains
In a bag ♪
1023
00:49:00,110 --> 00:49:01,720
♪ And throw '’em in the river! ♪
1024
00:49:01,894 --> 00:49:05,028
[Janis] ♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪
1025
00:49:05,202 --> 00:49:07,770
♪ With entrails
All over the lawn ♪
1026
00:49:07,944 --> 00:49:10,991
[Damian, Janis]
♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
1027
00:49:11,165 --> 00:49:13,471
♪ And I end up with Aaron
When she'’s gone ♪
1028
00:49:13,645 --> 00:49:15,821
Yes, bitch!
1029
00:49:17,432 --> 00:49:19,782
I end up with Aaron
when she'’s gone.
1030
00:49:20,391 --> 00:49:21,697
Yes, bitch.
1031
00:49:26,528 --> 00:49:27,398
[gasps]
1032
00:49:31,272 --> 00:49:32,534
I think I need a tutor.
1033
00:49:32,708 --> 00:49:34,927
I could tutor you,
if you want.
1034
00:49:36,451 --> 00:49:38,366
♪ What'’s Regina doin'’? ♪
1035
00:49:38,540 --> 00:49:39,802
♪ What'’s Regina wearin'’? ♪
1036
00:49:39,976 --> 00:49:42,065
♪ Is she back with Aaron? ♪
1037
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:45,895
♪ Regina! Regina!
She has everything
She gets everything ♪
1038
00:49:47,549 --> 00:49:49,290
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1039
00:49:50,334 --> 00:49:51,422
[Gretchen]
What is that?
1040
00:49:51,596 --> 00:49:53,076
Ugh, I'’m so fat
and disgusting.
1041
00:49:53,250 --> 00:49:54,425
I'’m not having anything
1042
00:49:54,599 --> 00:49:56,210
but Kaälteen bars
until I lose weight.
1043
00:49:56,384 --> 00:49:57,820
Well, I need
to lose three pounds.
1044
00:49:57,994 --> 00:49:58,951
How many calories from fat?
1045
00:49:59,126 --> 00:50:00,214
Zero.
1046
00:50:00,388 --> 00:50:02,085
You cross-multiply x
over a thousand
1047
00:50:02,259 --> 00:50:03,913
and divide it by 0.5
because it'’s in kilograms.
1048
00:50:04,087 --> 00:50:06,481
Whatever.
Bring me a whole box.
1049
00:50:06,655 --> 00:50:08,744
No, um, bring me two.
1050
00:50:09,919 --> 00:50:11,703
[marching band music playing]
1051
00:50:15,838 --> 00:50:19,015
♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪
1052
00:50:19,189 --> 00:50:21,757
♪ With somebody crushed
And alone♪♪ And ugly-crying! ♪
1053
00:50:21,931 --> 00:50:25,021
♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
1054
00:50:25,195 --> 00:50:27,458
♪ It'’s like a party
With revenge
Is what we'’re throwin'’!♪
1055
00:50:27,632 --> 00:50:29,112
[screams]
1056
00:50:29,286 --> 00:50:30,679
[marching band
playing upbeat music]
1057
00:50:30,853 --> 00:50:34,074
[yelping][spectators clamor]
1058
00:50:38,687 --> 00:50:40,776
[mouthing]
1059
00:50:42,038 --> 00:50:44,301
[camera shutter clicking]
1060
00:50:44,475 --> 00:50:46,260
♪ What'’s Regina eating? ♪
1061
00:50:46,434 --> 00:50:48,088
♪ God, look at her figure ♪
1062
00:50:48,262 --> 00:50:50,829
♪ Did her boobs get bigger?
Regina! Regina!♪
1063
00:50:51,003 --> 00:50:52,657
♪ She has everything! ♪[camera shutter clicks]
1064
00:50:52,831 --> 00:50:54,833
♪ She gets everything! ♪[camera shutter clicking]
1065
00:50:55,007 --> 00:50:57,445
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1066
00:51:01,579 --> 00:51:04,321
Six weeks and all we'’ve done
is make Regina hotter
and revive the wet look.
1067
00:51:04,495 --> 00:51:06,280
We have to pivot.
1068
00:51:06,454 --> 00:51:08,891
If we can make
Gretchen Wieners think
that Regina is mad at her...
1069
00:51:09,065 --> 00:51:10,719
No, no, no.
Gretchen is fragile.
1070
00:51:10,893 --> 00:51:12,764
Exactly!
1071
00:51:12,938 --> 00:51:14,505
If we crack her open,
maybe she'’ll spill
something we can use.
1072
00:51:14,679 --> 00:51:16,464
[French teacher
clears throat]
1073
00:51:22,513 --> 00:51:24,385
♪ Party ♪
1074
00:51:24,559 --> 00:51:26,909
Hey, girl, you sending
any candy canes this year?
1075
00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:29,955
Oh. [chuckles]
I don'’t send them.
I just get them.
1076
00:51:31,522 --> 00:51:33,916
Um, stop pulling it down.
1077
00:51:34,090 --> 00:51:36,136
Your hair looks so sexy
pushed back.
1078
00:51:37,267 --> 00:51:38,877
Cady, would you
please tell him
1079
00:51:39,051 --> 00:51:41,097
that his hair looks sexy
pushed back?
1080
00:51:42,751 --> 00:51:44,579
Your hair looks sexy
pushed back.
1081
00:51:44,753 --> 00:51:45,797
Oh...
1082
00:51:51,412 --> 00:51:52,413
Thanks.
1083
00:51:56,417 --> 00:51:58,419
I'’ll, uh, see you in Calc.
1084
00:52:00,595 --> 00:52:03,163
♪ At every party
There might be a low ♪
1085
00:52:03,337 --> 00:52:06,818
♪ Where the energy dips♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
1086
00:52:06,992 --> 00:52:13,695
♪ You might be thinking
"It'’s late, we should go
And they ran out of chips"♪
1087
00:52:13,869 --> 00:52:17,481
♪ No! I can'’t even watch
When she touches his hair ♪
1088
00:52:17,655 --> 00:52:20,180
♪ And I'’ve watched a snake
Eat a cow ♪
1089
00:52:20,354 --> 00:52:23,792
♪ Regina needs to be toppled
Sorry, Gretchen, I swear ♪
1090
00:52:23,966 --> 00:52:26,882
♪ We'’ll get our party now! ♪
1091
00:52:27,056 --> 00:52:29,101
One candy cane, please!
1092
00:52:31,626 --> 00:52:34,890
♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪
1093
00:52:35,064 --> 00:52:37,109
♪ With lions in a Roman arena ♪
1094
00:52:37,284 --> 00:52:40,025
♪ She has everything!
She gets everything!♪
1095
00:52:41,418 --> 00:52:43,028
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1096
00:52:43,203 --> 00:52:44,856
Ho, ho, ho!
1097
00:52:45,030 --> 00:52:47,119
Candy Cane Gram
for Shane Oman!
1098
00:52:47,294 --> 00:52:48,512
♪ She has everything! ♪
1099
00:52:48,686 --> 00:52:50,601
[Damian]
And one for Cady Heron.
1100
00:52:50,775 --> 00:52:51,950
♪ She gets everything! ♪
1101
00:52:52,124 --> 00:52:53,996
Four for Glen Coco?
1102
00:52:54,170 --> 00:52:55,954
You go, Glen Coco!
1103
00:52:56,128 --> 00:52:58,087
♪ Glen Coco!
Glen Coco! Glen Coco!♪
1104
00:52:59,436 --> 00:53:03,048
And... none
for Gretchen Wieners, bye.
1105
00:53:03,832 --> 00:53:04,789
Who sent that?
1106
00:53:04,963 --> 00:53:06,095
Oh, it'’s from...
1107
00:53:06,269 --> 00:53:08,228
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1108
00:53:08,402 --> 00:53:11,492
"Thanks for being
such a great best friend."
1109
00:53:11,666 --> 00:53:12,580
Aw.
1110
00:53:13,494 --> 00:53:14,712
Oh.
1111
00:53:15,887 --> 00:53:16,975
Okay.
1112
00:53:18,499 --> 00:53:20,240
If you and Regina are
"best friends" now,
1113
00:53:20,414 --> 00:53:23,155
then you can be in charge of
keeping all her secrets, okay?
1114
00:53:23,330 --> 00:53:26,158
For example, she gave you
those high-heel shoes
just to make fun of you
1115
00:53:26,333 --> 00:53:29,249
because she knew
you wouldn'’t be able
to walk in them. Sorry!
1116
00:53:29,423 --> 00:53:32,077
Also, she says
she has a nose job,
1117
00:53:32,252 --> 00:53:33,644
but that'’s just to distract
from the fact
1118
00:53:33,818 --> 00:53:36,168
that she had one
of her ears moved!
1119
00:53:36,343 --> 00:53:38,867
Also, she totally cheats
on Aaron.
1120
00:53:39,041 --> 00:53:41,826
Yeah. Every Tuesday,
she says she has College Prep,
1121
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:43,480
but really she'’s hooking up
with Shane Oman
1122
00:53:43,654 --> 00:53:45,352
in the third-floor
janitorial closet
1123
00:53:45,526 --> 00:53:48,180
on the bags of sawdust
that they use for barf!
1124
00:53:48,355 --> 00:53:50,357
[over cell phone]
And I never told anyone
1125
00:53:50,531 --> 00:53:52,533
because I'’m such
a good friend!
1126
00:53:52,707 --> 00:53:54,535
[exclaims]
1127
00:53:54,709 --> 00:53:57,451
And I'’m only telling you
because you'’re such
a good friend.
1128
00:54:04,371 --> 00:54:06,111
[Janis]
♪ It'’s a revenge party ♪
1129
00:54:06,286 --> 00:54:07,809
♪ A party that ends ♪
1130
00:54:07,983 --> 00:54:10,551
♪ With somebody'’s head
On a spike!♪
1131
00:54:10,725 --> 00:54:13,597
[Damian, Janis]
♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
1132
00:54:13,771 --> 00:54:17,340
♪ It'’s like a party
With revenge
Is what it'’s like ♪
1133
00:54:36,403 --> 00:54:38,405
♪ A party with revenge
Is what it'’s like ♪
1134
00:54:39,623 --> 00:54:42,626
[Janis] ♪ A party with revenge ♪
1135
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:46,804
[Damian] ♪ With revenge ♪
1136
00:54:46,978 --> 00:54:48,197
[Damian, Janis]
♪ Is what it'’s like! ♪
1137
00:54:56,031 --> 00:54:57,554
[school bell rings]
1138
00:55:00,992 --> 00:55:03,778
Hey, do you have time to go
over derivatives for a minute?
1139
00:55:04,561 --> 00:55:06,694
Oh, um... no, not today.
1140
00:55:09,392 --> 00:55:10,393
Cady?
1141
00:55:12,743 --> 00:55:14,484
Um...
1142
00:55:14,658 --> 00:55:16,791
You'’ve failed
your last five quizzes.
Is everything okay?
1143
00:55:16,965 --> 00:55:19,446
I'’m... I'’m sorry.
I'’ll just try harder.
1144
00:55:19,620 --> 00:55:21,230
Okay, because
if you need extra help,
1145
00:55:21,404 --> 00:55:23,319
there'’s a Mathletes meeting
starting in a couple minutes.
1146
00:55:23,493 --> 00:55:25,626
I can'’t. I'’m sorry.
I have to go
to my friend Regina'’s house.
1147
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:27,715
We'’re doing a dance
in the talent show.
1148
00:55:27,889 --> 00:55:30,108
"Rockin'’ Around
- the Pole"?
- Yeah, how did you know?
1149
00:55:30,282 --> 00:55:32,067
They do it every year.
It'’s like a...
1150
00:55:32,241 --> 00:55:33,895
- Tradition?
- Recurring nightmare.
1151
00:55:35,157 --> 00:55:37,551
Okay, I could probably
get Kevin to tutor you.
1152
00:55:37,725 --> 00:55:39,553
Well, Aaron'’s tutoring me now,
so...
1153
00:55:39,727 --> 00:55:42,251
Oh, he'’s tutoring you?
Sure, okay, well,
1154
00:55:42,425 --> 00:55:44,645
let Aaron know that the weird
thing with your quizzes
1155
00:55:44,819 --> 00:55:47,822
is that all the work is right
and only the answers are wrong.
1156
00:55:47,996 --> 00:55:50,215
- Huh.
- Huh.
1157
00:55:50,390 --> 00:55:53,218
Cady, I am not gonna
stop pushing you,
because I'’m a pusher.
1158
00:55:53,393 --> 00:55:55,438
And I know you'’re smarter
than this.
1159
00:55:55,612 --> 00:55:59,834
Maybe I should just push
your seat away from Aaron'’s.
1160
00:56:00,008 --> 00:56:02,793
Ugh! And she was like,
"I'’m a pusher, Cady.
I'’m a pusher."
1161
00:56:02,967 --> 00:56:05,143
Wait, what does she even mean,
she'’s a "pusher"?
1162
00:56:05,317 --> 00:56:09,583
- Like a drug pusher?
- I don'’t know.
She'’s so weird.
1163
00:56:09,757 --> 00:56:12,499
Let it all out, honey.
Put it in the book.
1164
00:56:15,284 --> 00:56:17,417
[shouts] Look at this thing!
1165
00:56:18,983 --> 00:56:21,943
- I can'’t even see it.
- It'’s sexy,
like a face breast.
1166
00:56:22,117 --> 00:56:25,468
It happens to me, too.
It'’s just the Kaälteen bars
flushing your toxins.
1167
00:56:25,642 --> 00:56:26,991
Huh. Okay.
1168
00:56:27,165 --> 00:56:29,167
Well, this skin stuff
you gave me sucks!
1169
00:56:29,820 --> 00:56:31,126
Where did you get it?
1170
00:56:32,693 --> 00:56:34,172
[Damian chuckling]
1171
00:56:38,873 --> 00:56:39,830
[dings]
1172
00:56:40,570 --> 00:56:41,658
The Paris airport.
1173
00:56:41,832 --> 00:56:43,007
Oh, "the Paris airport."
1174
00:56:43,181 --> 00:56:44,966
Well, it'’s garbage.
And so are you.
1175
00:56:47,882 --> 00:56:50,275
She'’s just grouchy
because Aaron
broke up with her.
1176
00:56:50,450 --> 00:56:51,842
He did?
1177
00:56:52,016 --> 00:56:53,496
Someone told him
about Shane.
1178
00:56:54,410 --> 00:56:56,064
Do you think it was Santa?
1179
00:56:57,195 --> 00:56:59,110
Oh...
1180
00:56:59,284 --> 00:57:01,896
Also,
all that she'’s been eating
are those Kaälteen bars,
1181
00:57:02,070 --> 00:57:03,941
and I don'’t think she'’s pooped
in, like, two weeks.
1182
00:57:04,115 --> 00:57:05,639
Uh...
1183
00:57:05,813 --> 00:57:07,467
Hey, G, we'’ve practiced
a bunch with Cady.
1184
00:57:07,641 --> 00:57:08,685
You want to run it once?
1185
00:57:08,859 --> 00:57:10,818
Why? I'’m perfect every year.
1186
00:57:10,992 --> 00:57:12,297
Mm-hmm.
1187
00:57:12,472 --> 00:57:14,517
Yeah, but it'’s,
uh, Cady'’s first time
1188
00:57:14,691 --> 00:57:16,519
and there'’s a bunch
of traffic patterns...
1189
00:57:16,693 --> 00:57:19,348
Stop playing with
that stupid babyish book!
1190
00:57:19,522 --> 00:57:20,567
[yelps]
1191
00:57:22,177 --> 00:57:23,570
[button clicks]
1192
00:57:23,744 --> 00:57:25,397
[inhales deeply][piano music plays]
1193
00:57:25,572 --> 00:57:28,488
[singing in French]
♪ All things are meant to be ♪
1194
00:57:28,662 --> 00:57:30,315
♪ So ♪
1195
00:57:30,490 --> 00:57:32,361
♪ Give me your best ♪
1196
00:57:33,449 --> 00:57:35,277
♪ And leave me ♪
1197
00:57:35,451 --> 00:57:36,931
♪ The rest ♪
1198
00:57:39,063 --> 00:57:42,545
♪ Leave it all to me ♪
1199
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:45,679
♪ Leave it all to me ♪
1200
00:57:47,507 --> 00:57:51,206
♪ Leave it all to me ♪
1201
00:57:51,380 --> 00:57:54,818
♪ Leave it all ♪
1202
00:57:54,992 --> 00:57:56,603
♪ To ♪
1203
00:57:57,952 --> 00:58:02,522
♪ Me ♪
1204
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:06,526
[mic feedback]
Uh, that was
Damian Hubbard singing...
1205
00:58:06,700 --> 00:58:09,006
[Janis cheering]...the iCarly theme song
1206
00:58:09,180 --> 00:58:10,660
in French for extra credit.
1207
00:58:10,834 --> 00:58:11,835
Yeah!
1208
00:58:13,533 --> 00:58:15,839
Our next act describes
their music
1209
00:58:16,013 --> 00:58:19,234
as "Like a sine wave,
they don'’t stop."
1210
00:58:19,408 --> 00:58:22,672
Please welcome Kevin G
and the Power of Three.
1211
00:58:22,846 --> 00:58:24,892
[applause][Kevin G] Uh. Yeah.
1212
00:58:25,066 --> 00:58:27,242
♪ All you ♪
1213
00:58:27,416 --> 00:58:29,374
♪ Suckah emcees
Ain'’t got nothin'’ on me ♪
1214
00:58:29,549 --> 00:58:31,638
♪ From my grades to my rhymes
You can'’t touch Kevin G ♪
1215
00:58:31,812 --> 00:58:32,900
♪ I'’m a Mathlete ♪
1216
00:58:33,074 --> 00:58:34,902
♪ So good under pressure ♪
1217
00:58:35,076 --> 00:58:36,730
♪ I'’ma find acute angles
To prioritize your pleasure ♪
1218
00:58:36,904 --> 00:58:39,123
♪ I'’m a Model UN rep
Out in these streets ♪
1219
00:58:39,297 --> 00:58:41,343
♪ But I'’m a overachiever
Under the sheets ♪
1220
00:58:41,517 --> 00:58:43,954
♪ She be like
"Uhhhh, Kevin G!"♪
1221
00:58:44,128 --> 00:58:45,434
[principal] Inappropriate.
1222
00:58:45,608 --> 00:58:46,957
Kevin, we talked about this.
1223
00:58:47,131 --> 00:58:49,438
Well,
happy holidays, everybody.
1224
00:58:49,612 --> 00:58:51,614
[audience applauds, cheers]
1225
00:58:51,788 --> 00:58:54,182
[groans]
Why is this so tight?
1226
00:58:54,356 --> 00:58:55,923
You'’ve had it
since the sixth grade.
1227
00:58:56,097 --> 00:58:58,012
You'’re probably maturing.
1228
00:58:58,186 --> 00:59:00,797
[Gretchen] Um, do you just,
like, want to run it one time
real quick?
1229
00:59:00,971 --> 00:59:04,148
Gretchen,
literally no one cares.
1230
00:59:04,322 --> 00:59:06,281
Mm-hmm. No, totally.
1231
00:59:06,455 --> 00:59:08,544
Um, do you just want
to run the acro?
1232
00:59:08,718 --> 00:59:10,720
Because none of us really does
gymnastics anymore
1233
00:59:10,894 --> 00:59:12,940
and when we made up this dance,
we all weighed, like, 70 pounds,
1234
00:59:13,114 --> 00:59:16,073
so maybe we should
just make sure everyone'’s
center of gravity is still...
1235
00:59:16,247 --> 00:59:17,379
Still what?
1236
00:59:18,641 --> 00:59:19,555
Nothing.
1237
00:59:19,729 --> 00:59:20,687
[muffled music playing]
1238
00:59:25,039 --> 00:59:26,910
[music ends][audience applauding]
1239
00:59:27,084 --> 00:59:30,610
[principal] Thank you,
Shelby and Timmy, for tapping.
1240
00:59:30,784 --> 00:59:32,655
Also, if anyone finds
a retainer
1241
00:59:32,829 --> 00:59:35,919
in a bright aqua case,
that is mine.
1242
00:59:36,093 --> 00:59:37,442
Please return it.
1243
00:59:37,617 --> 00:59:39,619
My insurance won'’t cover
a replacement.
1244
00:59:40,968 --> 00:59:42,709
Karen, I can see your bra.
1245
00:59:42,883 --> 00:59:44,624
It'’s on purpose.
I'’m going for a look.
1246
00:59:44,798 --> 00:59:46,451
[chuckles] Is it "girl
who slept with 11 people"?
1247
00:59:46,626 --> 00:59:47,714
'’Cause you'’re nailing it.
1248
00:59:49,672 --> 00:59:52,501
- I think your top is fetch.
- Gretchen!
1249
00:59:52,675 --> 00:59:54,503
Stop trying
to make "fetch" happen.
1250
00:59:54,677 --> 00:59:57,506
It'’s not going to happen.
1251
01:00:01,249 --> 01:00:03,817
[principal] Okay,
please welcome Santa'’s Helpers
1252
01:00:03,991 --> 01:00:05,775
doing "Rockin'’
Around the Pole."
1253
01:00:05,949 --> 01:00:07,037
[audience applauding]
1254
01:00:07,211 --> 01:00:09,083
[festive music
playing over speakers]
1255
01:00:15,916 --> 01:00:18,135
♪ We'’re gonna
Take a Christmas train ♪
1256
01:00:18,309 --> 01:00:20,224
♪ To where Santa lives ♪
1257
01:00:20,398 --> 01:00:23,358
♪ Up through the sleet
And snow ♪
1258
01:00:23,532 --> 01:00:26,709
♪ Then we'’ll hop and bop
Straight to the top ♪
1259
01:00:26,883 --> 01:00:29,494
♪ Last stop the North Pole ♪
1260
01:00:31,583 --> 01:00:34,978
♪ And we'’ll be rock, rock
Rockin'’ around the pole ♪
1261
01:00:35,152 --> 01:00:37,981
♪ Where the northern lights
Are bright ♪
1262
01:00:38,155 --> 01:00:41,681
♪ Rock, rock, rockin'’
Around the pole ♪
1263
01:00:41,855 --> 01:00:44,814
♪ We'’ll rock that pole
All night ♪
1264
01:00:44,988 --> 01:00:47,991
♪ And we'’ll be sing, sing
Singin'’ a Christmas tune ♪
1265
01:00:48,165 --> 01:00:49,645
Thank you, next!
1266
01:00:51,429 --> 01:00:55,042
♪ Yeah, we'’ll be rock
Rock, rockin'’ up on that pole ♪
1267
01:00:55,216 --> 01:00:58,001
♪ Rockin'’ till the break
Of day ♪
1268
01:00:58,175 --> 01:01:01,048
♪ Yeah, we'’ll be rockin'’
Stuffin'’ a stockin'’♪
1269
01:01:01,222 --> 01:01:04,225
♪ And they'’ll be talkin'’
About us in town ♪
1270
01:01:04,399 --> 01:01:06,488
♪ Yeah, we'’ll be rockin'’ ♪[audience gasps]
1271
01:01:06,662 --> 01:01:08,359
♪ And rollin'’ and lockin'’
And strollin'’♪[laughing]
1272
01:01:08,533 --> 01:01:11,928
♪ Till the North Pole police
Come shut us down ♪
1273
01:01:12,102 --> 01:01:14,104
[music slows down]
1274
01:01:21,895 --> 01:01:24,245
[audience distorted laughter]
1275
01:01:31,469 --> 01:01:33,689
[music stops]
1276
01:01:33,863 --> 01:01:36,779
So, I went
to the Christmas show
and it was a mess, y'’all.
1277
01:01:36,953 --> 01:01:38,607
Regina ate total shit.
1278
01:01:38,781 --> 01:01:40,348
I think people saw her nipple.
1279
01:01:40,522 --> 01:01:41,653
It'’s just unprofessional.
1280
01:01:41,828 --> 01:01:43,264
This was kind of hilarious.
1281
01:01:43,438 --> 01:01:45,440
[thudding][audience gasping]
1282
01:01:45,614 --> 01:01:47,137
[laughs][vlogger 1] I'’ve watched
1283
01:01:47,311 --> 01:01:50,532
this video a thousand times. Gretchen piledrived Regina.
1284
01:01:50,706 --> 01:01:52,186
Regina really should be
lifting through her glutes.
1285
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:54,231
Regina challenge!
1286
01:01:54,405 --> 01:01:55,842
[vlogger 2] You know
what that bitch gets?
1287
01:01:56,016 --> 01:01:57,234
Not my sympathy.
1288
01:01:57,408 --> 01:01:58,714
It'’s not like
we like Regina anyway.
1289
01:01:58,888 --> 01:02:00,585
She'’s such a bitch.
She'’s so spoiled.
1290
01:02:00,760 --> 01:02:02,849
[vlogger 3]
Regina always wanted
to be the center of attention.
1291
01:02:03,023 --> 01:02:05,025
[vlogger 4]
Girl, we all see you.
1292
01:02:05,199 --> 01:02:07,070
Regina got what she deserves.
1293
01:02:07,244 --> 01:02:08,898
But you know, that Cady girl
was kind of cute.
1294
01:02:09,072 --> 01:02:09,986
You know, she stayed,
she waved.
1295
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:12,380
She ate, like, house down.
1296
01:02:12,554 --> 01:02:14,295
Cady Heron was the only one
that acted normal.
1297
01:02:14,469 --> 01:02:15,818
[vlogger 5] Oh, yeah.[vlogger 6]
I think she salvaged
1298
01:02:15,992 --> 01:02:17,515
the worst tradition
of the year.
1299
01:02:17,689 --> 01:02:19,474
[vlogger 7] Period. She was... She'’s kind of hot.
1300
01:02:19,648 --> 01:02:21,476
She might even be hotter
than Regina George.
1301
01:02:21,650 --> 01:02:24,348
No zits. Gum health.
American Eagle.
1302
01:02:24,522 --> 01:02:25,959
Cady doesn'’t even have
to wear deodorant.
1303
01:02:26,133 --> 01:02:27,569
I'’m thinking of going red.
1304
01:02:27,743 --> 01:02:29,005
Okay, so, somebody sent me
this look, and I was like,
1305
01:02:29,179 --> 01:02:31,529
"Hot girls,
we are going back to red!
1306
01:02:32,922 --> 01:02:34,619
Thank you, Cady Heron.
1307
01:02:34,794 --> 01:02:36,404
[vlogger 6]
Cady was looking good.
1308
01:02:37,927 --> 01:02:39,189
[Janis] Caddy!
1309
01:02:40,190 --> 01:02:41,713
Did you hear me?
1310
01:02:41,888 --> 01:02:44,281
- What?
- We did it.
1311
01:02:44,455 --> 01:02:45,761
Regina lost
her hot boyfriend.
1312
01:02:45,935 --> 01:02:47,197
She lost her status
over everyone.
1313
01:02:47,371 --> 01:02:48,808
She popped her blemish
against the stage floor.
1314
01:02:48,982 --> 01:02:50,244
That'’s rock bottom.[chuckles]
1315
01:02:51,201 --> 01:02:53,203
We can stop. We'’re even.
1316
01:02:53,377 --> 01:02:55,118
Finally you don'’t have
to talk to them anymore.
1317
01:02:55,292 --> 01:02:57,381
[Damian] We can finally
have lunch together tomorrow.
1318
01:02:57,555 --> 01:02:58,992
I'’m getting dumplings.
1319
01:02:59,166 --> 01:03:00,776
Unless they have pizza bagels,
then I might get both.
1320
01:03:00,950 --> 01:03:02,517
- [Janis] So good.
- I can'’t.
1321
01:03:04,780 --> 01:03:06,651
I need one more lunch.
1322
01:03:12,657 --> 01:03:14,659
[students chattering]
1323
01:03:30,414 --> 01:03:33,069
I'’m sorry, Regina.
You can'’t sit with us.
1324
01:03:35,332 --> 01:03:36,856
What?
1325
01:03:38,161 --> 01:03:40,729
You'’re wearing sweatpants.
It'’s Thursday.
1326
01:03:41,817 --> 01:03:43,427
Whatever.
Those rules aren'’t real.
1327
01:03:43,601 --> 01:03:44,994
They were real
that day I wore a vest.
1328
01:03:45,168 --> 01:03:46,604
Yeah, because that vest
was disgusting!
1329
01:03:46,778 --> 01:03:48,998
You can'’t sit with us!
1330
01:03:49,172 --> 01:03:50,782
[students stop talking]
1331
01:04:02,011 --> 01:04:04,318
These sweatpants
are all that fit me right now.
1332
01:04:07,799 --> 01:04:08,975
What do you think, Cady?
1333
01:04:16,069 --> 01:04:19,811
Sorry, Regina.
Rules are rules.
1334
01:04:21,857 --> 01:04:22,902
Fine.
1335
01:04:25,295 --> 01:04:28,124
[student] Oh. [laughs mockingly]
1336
01:04:30,518 --> 01:04:32,433
Take a picture, losers.
It'’ll last longer.
1337
01:04:41,137 --> 01:04:42,747
And that......was the beginning...
1338
01:04:42,922 --> 01:04:43,618
...of the......mother#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
1339
01:04:43,792 --> 01:04:45,272
[trilling]...end.
1340
01:04:48,971 --> 01:04:50,364
Hello,
may I have your attention
1341
01:04:50,538 --> 01:04:51,931
for this morning'’s
announcements?
1342
01:04:53,497 --> 01:04:55,108
In honor
of Women'’s History Month,
1343
01:04:55,282 --> 01:04:58,676
the cafeteria is offering
vegan "Confident Joannes"
1344
01:04:58,850 --> 01:05:01,244
which are Sloppy Joes
made of beans.
1345
01:05:03,507 --> 01:05:05,248
Secondly, we want
to wish good luck
1346
01:05:05,422 --> 01:05:07,598
to junior, Janis '’Imi'’ike...[student snoring]
1347
01:05:07,772 --> 01:05:09,078
...who is a finalist
1348
01:05:09,252 --> 01:05:11,602
in the Illinois Art Expo
this Saturday.
1349
01:05:11,776 --> 01:05:14,083
Go, Lions! Even for Art.
1350
01:05:14,257 --> 01:05:15,911
Art, art, art![Mr. Duvall] Next up,
1351
01:05:16,085 --> 01:05:18,305
the Students Activities
Committee voted,
1352
01:05:18,479 --> 01:05:20,133
and the theme for
this year'’s Spring Fling...
1353
01:05:20,307 --> 01:05:22,570
- What'’s that lip color?
- Oh, it'’s e.l.f. O Face in...
1354
01:05:22,744 --> 01:05:24,093
No, amazing, yeah.
1355
01:05:24,267 --> 01:05:25,790
I was just making sure
your ears still worked.
1356
01:05:25,965 --> 01:05:30,447
And finally, the nominees for
Spring Fling King and Queen
1357
01:05:30,621 --> 01:05:31,840
are as follows:
1358
01:05:32,014 --> 01:05:34,016
For King, Aaron Samuels,
1359
01:05:34,190 --> 01:05:36,976
Christian Wiggins
and Shane Oman.
1360
01:05:37,150 --> 01:05:39,108
And Damian Hubbard. What?
1361
01:05:40,196 --> 01:05:41,502
For Queen...
1362
01:05:41,676 --> 01:05:42,982
...Regina George...
1363
01:05:43,156 --> 01:05:45,549
...Karen Shetty
and Gretchen Wieners.
1364
01:05:45,723 --> 01:05:47,769
Same old, same old.[Mr. Duvall] And Caddy Heron.
1365
01:05:47,943 --> 01:05:49,510
[gasps]
1366
01:05:50,859 --> 01:05:52,034
Wow.
1367
01:05:52,208 --> 01:05:53,079
Wait, my mistake.
1368
01:05:55,733 --> 01:05:57,039
Cady Heron.
1369
01:05:57,997 --> 01:05:58,998
[chuckles]
1370
01:06:01,348 --> 01:06:02,697
Oh, my God.
1371
01:06:02,871 --> 01:06:06,135
Oh, my God,
so many people are texting me.
1372
01:06:06,309 --> 01:06:08,703
Should I, um, text Aaron
and congratulate him?
1373
01:06:08,877 --> 01:06:10,052
[Damian, Janis] No.
1374
01:06:10,226 --> 01:06:11,880
Hey, do you want a lift
this weekend?
1375
01:06:12,054 --> 01:06:13,925
'’Cause Damian'’s borrowing
his grandma'’s Jazzy.
1376
01:06:14,100 --> 01:06:15,579
A lift to what?
1377
01:06:17,190 --> 01:06:19,583
My art show.
Didn'’t you just hear
Mr. Duvall talking about it?
1378
01:06:19,757 --> 01:06:22,456
- Oh, that'’s this weekend?
- Yeah.
1379
01:06:22,630 --> 01:06:26,329
Oh, shoot.
I have tickets to this thing
in Madison with my mom.
1380
01:06:26,503 --> 01:06:27,678
Uh, I'’m sorry.
1381
01:06:29,767 --> 01:06:32,379
Yeah, you seem
super sad about it.
1382
01:06:32,553 --> 01:06:35,034
[camera shutter clicking]
1383
01:06:35,208 --> 01:06:37,297
So, what are we doing
this weekend?
1384
01:06:37,471 --> 01:06:39,081
Why is everyone asking me
about the weekend?
1385
01:06:39,255 --> 01:06:40,561
It'’s Tuesday.
1386
01:06:40,735 --> 01:06:44,173
Yeah, the weekend is only...
several days away.
1387
01:06:44,347 --> 01:06:46,523
I have to go to this thing
in Madison with my mom.
1388
01:06:46,697 --> 01:06:48,308
Your mom is going away?
You should have people over.
1389
01:06:48,482 --> 01:06:50,092
No, I'’m going with her.
1390
01:06:50,266 --> 01:06:53,182
Well, if you have people over,
you can invite Aaron.
1391
01:06:56,577 --> 01:06:58,057
Huh.
1392
01:06:58,231 --> 01:06:59,754
Yeah, I guess
I could get out of it.
1393
01:06:59,928 --> 01:07:01,930
[both chuckle]
But, like,
1394
01:07:02,104 --> 01:07:05,281
we would keep it small, right?
Like five or six people?
1395
01:07:05,455 --> 01:07:06,761
- Yes!
- Sure!
1396
01:07:06,935 --> 01:07:09,416
Why are you doing this to me?!
1397
01:07:09,590 --> 01:07:12,332
I promised my friend Janis
I'’d go to her art show!
1398
01:07:12,506 --> 01:07:14,682
But, binti, we'’ve had
these tickets for months.
1399
01:07:14,856 --> 01:07:16,162
You love Neil deGrasse Tyson.
1400
01:07:16,336 --> 01:07:17,293
Mom!
1401
01:07:17,467 --> 01:07:19,730
Janis is my best friend!
1402
01:07:19,904 --> 01:07:21,558
Do you not want me
to be a good friend?!
1403
01:07:21,732 --> 01:07:23,038
No! Yes! What?
1404
01:07:23,212 --> 01:07:27,173
You can, uh, stay home
on your own, I guess.
1405
01:07:27,347 --> 01:07:29,523
Hey. I'’m having
a small get-together
1406
01:07:29,697 --> 01:07:32,613
at my house tomorrow night.
My mom'’s away, so...
1407
01:07:32,787 --> 01:07:33,962
Is Regina going?
1408
01:07:34,136 --> 01:07:36,573
No! Do you think
I'’m an idiot? No.
1409
01:07:36,747 --> 01:07:38,619
It'’s just gonna be
a few cool people,
1410
01:07:38,793 --> 01:07:40,447
and you better be
one of them, byotch.
1411
01:07:41,665 --> 01:07:43,493
Okay. I'’ll be there.
1412
01:07:46,844 --> 01:07:49,108
[upbeat music playing
over speakers]
1413
01:07:51,632 --> 01:07:53,895
[camera shutter clicking]
1414
01:08:01,642 --> 01:08:02,904
No, no, no!
1415
01:08:03,078 --> 01:08:05,036
[grunts][vase shatters]
1416
01:08:06,603 --> 01:08:08,083
[cheering]
1417
01:08:14,611 --> 01:08:16,265
Have you seen Aaron?
1418
01:08:16,439 --> 01:08:18,049
- [Gretchen] What?
- Aaron!
1419
01:08:18,224 --> 01:08:19,703
Karen?
1420
01:08:20,922 --> 01:08:21,966
Hi.
1421
01:08:26,362 --> 01:08:28,277
Whoo![coughing]
1422
01:08:30,540 --> 01:08:32,238
[muffled upbeat music
playing over speakers]
1423
01:08:32,412 --> 01:08:33,717
[chuckles softly]
1424
01:08:34,327 --> 01:08:35,458
[Cady gasps]
1425
01:08:35,632 --> 01:08:37,112
I'’ve been looking for you.
1426
01:08:37,939 --> 01:08:39,462
Me as well.
1427
01:08:39,636 --> 01:08:42,378
I like your costume.
I mean, um, your dress.
1428
01:08:43,814 --> 01:08:45,599
Is this you holding
a crocodile?
1429
01:08:45,773 --> 01:08:48,428
Oh, my God,
don'’t look at that.
That is so embarrassing.
1430
01:08:48,602 --> 01:08:50,908
No, it'’s not. It'’s awesome.
1431
01:08:51,866 --> 01:08:53,041
You miss Kenya?
1432
01:08:53,215 --> 01:08:54,347
Yes.
1433
01:08:54,521 --> 01:08:56,087
No. I mean, I...
1434
01:08:57,176 --> 01:08:58,960
Well, I miss...
1435
01:08:59,134 --> 01:09:01,354
I could see
a lot more sky there.
1436
01:09:01,528 --> 01:09:02,790
At night.
1437
01:09:02,964 --> 01:09:05,923
My mom and I used
to map the constellations.
1438
01:09:06,750 --> 01:09:08,099
The stars.
1439
01:09:09,927 --> 01:09:11,668
[treadmill humming]
1440
01:09:17,108 --> 01:09:18,762
You still on
the treadmill, honey?
1441
01:09:18,936 --> 01:09:20,503
No, I'’m over there.
1442
01:09:21,939 --> 01:09:25,160
You got any plans tonight?
It'’s Saturday.
1443
01:09:25,334 --> 01:09:27,684
Mom, don'’t bother me.
1444
01:09:27,858 --> 01:09:30,905
I know you'’re not
feeling your best
about your body right now,
1445
01:09:31,079 --> 01:09:35,039
but remember that real beauty
comes from the face.
1446
01:09:35,214 --> 01:09:38,652
Don'’t ever talk about my body!
1447
01:09:38,826 --> 01:09:40,784
Okay, okay.
1448
01:09:44,484 --> 01:09:47,878
Wait, honey, why are
you eating Kaälteen bars?
1449
01:09:48,052 --> 01:09:50,229
These are what
we gave Nana Joan
1450
01:09:50,403 --> 01:09:52,013
when we needed her
to gain weight.
1451
01:09:56,322 --> 01:09:57,888
[breathing heavily]
1452
01:10:08,247 --> 01:10:10,205
[screaming]
1453
01:10:15,863 --> 01:10:17,647
I am drinking
1454
01:10:17,821 --> 01:10:19,736
not juice tonight.[chuckles]
1455
01:10:19,910 --> 01:10:21,695
I know. I can tell.
1456
01:10:22,652 --> 01:10:23,784
We should go downstairs.
1457
01:10:23,958 --> 01:10:26,352
No, no, no, sit down.
I'’m amazing.
1458
01:10:26,526 --> 01:10:27,527
[chuckles]
1459
01:10:33,010 --> 01:10:36,231
I think you should wear
your hair however you want.
1460
01:10:36,405 --> 01:10:38,973
I think it looks good
both ways.
1461
01:10:40,844 --> 01:10:42,629
[chuckles]
1462
01:10:42,803 --> 01:10:45,632
Thank you
for inviting me tonight.
1463
01:10:45,806 --> 01:10:48,461
I think
I'’ve spent too much time
being pissed at Regina.
1464
01:10:48,635 --> 01:10:50,071
Yeah, you really have.
1465
01:10:50,245 --> 01:10:53,161
- No more liars.
- I would never lie to you.
1466
01:10:54,771 --> 01:10:56,991
I mean,
I did lie to you once.
1467
01:10:57,165 --> 01:10:59,515
But you are totally
gonna laugh when I tell you.
1468
01:10:59,689 --> 01:11:00,951
Tell me what?[door opens]
1469
01:11:01,125 --> 01:11:02,953
[laughing]
We'’re in here!
1470
01:11:03,867 --> 01:11:05,304
[laughs]
1471
01:11:05,478 --> 01:11:06,653
[chuckles]
1472
01:11:08,307 --> 01:11:11,266
I pretended
to be bad at math
1473
01:11:11,440 --> 01:11:13,877
to get you to help me,
but I'’m not bad at math.
1474
01:11:14,051 --> 01:11:16,576
I'’m actually... I'’m actually
really good at math.
1475
01:11:16,750 --> 01:11:20,449
You'’re the one who'’s only
kind of okay at math.
1476
01:11:20,623 --> 01:11:22,756
Anyways, um,
now I'’m failing.
1477
01:11:22,930 --> 01:11:26,847
- So isn'’t that so dumb?
- That is dumb, yeah.
1478
01:11:28,022 --> 01:11:29,458
Why wouldn'’t you
just talk to me?
1479
01:11:29,632 --> 01:11:31,417
Because of Regina.
'’Cause you were her property.
1480
01:11:31,591 --> 01:11:33,419
- Her property?
- Shut up. Not her property.
1481
01:11:33,593 --> 01:11:34,811
Don'’t tell me to shut up.
1482
01:11:36,509 --> 01:11:38,772
[Cady]
What? Aaron, sit down.
1483
01:11:38,946 --> 01:11:40,556
You are a clone of Regina.
1484
01:11:40,730 --> 01:11:42,558
[upbeat music
playing over speakers]
1485
01:11:43,472 --> 01:11:44,995
No. No, no, no!
1486
01:11:45,169 --> 01:11:47,476
What are you thinking about?
1487
01:11:47,650 --> 01:11:48,738
Chicken wings later.
1488
01:11:48,912 --> 01:11:50,218
Do you ever think about me?
1489
01:11:50,392 --> 01:11:53,090
Sometimes.
When I'’m looking right at you.
1490
01:12:01,577 --> 01:12:03,362
- Cady, Cady, Cady!
- No, no, no.
1491
01:12:07,583 --> 01:12:08,976
Aaron! [panting]
1492
01:12:09,150 --> 01:12:11,457
Aaron, wait! [yelps]
1493
01:12:11,631 --> 01:12:13,154
[teenagers laughing]
1494
01:12:18,028 --> 01:12:19,813
You dirty little liar.
1495
01:12:20,857 --> 01:12:22,250
I... I can explain.
1496
01:12:22,424 --> 01:12:24,034
Explain how you'’re supposed
to be out of town
1497
01:12:24,208 --> 01:12:25,427
but there are
60 different people
1498
01:12:25,601 --> 01:12:27,255
posting pictures
from your party?
1499
01:12:27,429 --> 01:12:28,691
You know
I couldn'’t invite you.
1500
01:12:28,865 --> 01:12:30,606
I... I have to act
like I don'’t know you.
1501
01:12:30,780 --> 01:12:32,695
You are full of lies!
1502
01:12:32,869 --> 01:12:34,567
Janis, I cannot stop
this Jazzy.
1503
01:12:34,741 --> 01:12:35,829
You know I have a curfew!
1504
01:12:36,003 --> 01:12:37,831
You would hate this party.
1505
01:12:38,005 --> 01:12:39,485
[in high-pitched voice]
Why? Aren'’t you having
an amazing time
1506
01:12:39,659 --> 01:12:41,008
with your amazing friends?
1507
01:12:41,182 --> 01:12:43,010
Janis, I can'’t spend
every minute with you.
1508
01:12:43,184 --> 01:12:45,012
It'’s not my fault you'’re like
obsessed with me or something!
1509
01:12:45,186 --> 01:12:46,317
[brakes screech]
1510
01:12:48,232 --> 01:12:51,671
- What?
- Oh, no, she didn'’t.
1511
01:12:51,845 --> 01:12:54,108
See, this is the problem
with you Plastics.
1512
01:12:54,282 --> 01:12:56,197
You think everyone
is obsessed with you
1513
01:12:56,371 --> 01:12:58,025
when actually
everybody hates you.
1514
01:12:58,199 --> 01:12:59,940
You made me like this.
1515
01:13:00,114 --> 01:13:02,203
It was your idea for me
to pretend to be Plastic!
1516
01:13:02,377 --> 01:13:03,900
Buddy, it'’s not pretend!
1517
01:13:04,074 --> 01:13:05,685
♪ You are as plastic
As they come ♪
1518
01:13:05,859 --> 01:13:07,295
♪ You think
Your shit don'’t stink ♪
1519
01:13:07,469 --> 01:13:08,862
♪ You think
The rest of us are dumb ♪
1520
01:13:09,036 --> 01:13:10,646
♪ I hate Regina'’s guts ♪
1521
01:13:10,820 --> 01:13:11,908
♪ But here'’s what
You don'’t comprehend ♪
1522
01:13:12,082 --> 01:13:13,475
♪ At least she has the guts ♪
1523
01:13:13,649 --> 01:13:15,738
♪ To not pretend
To be my friend!♪
1524
01:13:17,131 --> 01:13:18,001
Here.
1525
01:13:19,002 --> 01:13:22,092
- Have this. It won an award.
- Janis.
1526
01:13:22,266 --> 01:13:25,269
♪ No, it'’s fine ♪
1527
01:13:25,444 --> 01:13:28,359
♪ Really fine ♪
1528
01:13:28,534 --> 01:13:34,235
♪ Go be fine! ♪
1529
01:13:34,409 --> 01:13:35,454
[music stops]
1530
01:13:35,628 --> 01:13:37,412
And I want my pink shirt.
1531
01:13:37,586 --> 01:13:38,587
[horn honks]
1532
01:13:49,380 --> 01:13:50,730
[distant laughter from party]
1533
01:14:16,190 --> 01:14:20,542
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1534
01:14:21,674 --> 01:14:26,809
♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
1535
01:14:26,983 --> 01:14:32,641
♪ I will grind you to sand ♪
1536
01:14:32,815 --> 01:14:37,907
♪ Beneath my Louboutin-ed heel ♪
1537
01:14:38,081 --> 01:14:42,651
♪ This is what I get
For helping ♪
1538
01:14:42,825 --> 01:14:47,874
♪ Helping someone lame fit in ♪
1539
01:14:48,048 --> 01:14:50,398
♪ Cady Heron ♪
1540
01:14:50,572 --> 01:14:55,272
♪ Enjoy your temporary win ♪
1541
01:14:58,754 --> 01:15:02,758
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1542
01:15:03,933 --> 01:15:09,199
♪ "This girl is a fugly cow" ♪
1543
01:15:09,373 --> 01:15:11,637
♪ Hey, Cady ♪
1544
01:15:11,811 --> 01:15:18,818
♪ How you like me now? ♪
1545
01:15:20,428 --> 01:15:22,648
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1546
01:15:22,822 --> 01:15:25,564
♪ I brought the gasoline ♪
1547
01:15:25,738 --> 01:15:27,566
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1548
01:15:27,740 --> 01:15:30,917
♪ And everyone get mean ♪
1549
01:15:31,091 --> 01:15:33,441
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1550
01:15:33,615 --> 01:15:35,661
♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1551
01:15:35,835 --> 01:15:38,185
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1552
01:15:38,359 --> 01:15:41,710
♪ And everyone get ♪
1553
01:15:41,884 --> 01:15:46,106
♪ Mean ♪
1554
01:16:02,601 --> 01:16:05,473
♪ Cady, time to
Watch your back ♪
1555
01:16:05,647 --> 01:16:07,954
♪ Cady, time to turn and cough ♪
1556
01:16:08,128 --> 01:16:10,783
♪ Because you took me down ♪
1557
01:16:10,957 --> 01:16:15,657
♪ But you didn'’t finish me off ♪
1558
01:16:15,831 --> 01:16:17,311
[laughing]
1559
01:16:18,617 --> 01:16:21,097
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1560
01:16:21,271 --> 01:16:23,665
♪ And in case
You'’re keeping score ♪
1561
01:16:23,839 --> 01:16:26,015
♪ Cady may have won the battle ♪
1562
01:16:26,189 --> 01:16:28,757
♪ But I will win the war ♪
1563
01:16:28,931 --> 01:16:30,541
[crying]
1564
01:16:30,716 --> 01:16:33,762
I'’m just so upset, Mr. Duvall.
1565
01:16:33,936 --> 01:16:35,329
We found it in the hallway.
1566
01:16:35,503 --> 01:16:37,810
I mean, the things
it says about me?
1567
01:16:37,984 --> 01:16:39,376
The things it says
about all of us?
1568
01:16:39,550 --> 01:16:41,204
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1569
01:16:41,378 --> 01:16:43,729
♪ Trang Pham
Is a grotsky byotch!♪
1570
01:16:43,903 --> 01:16:45,774
[laughing]
1571
01:16:45,948 --> 01:16:49,691
"Rachel Hamilton fills
her inhaler with vodka"?
1572
01:16:49,865 --> 01:16:52,128
I mean... does that work?
1573
01:16:54,522 --> 01:16:55,784
[Regina] ♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1574
01:16:55,958 --> 01:16:57,481
[chorus] ♪ Ms. Norbury'’s ♪
1575
01:16:57,656 --> 01:16:58,918
♪ A drug pusher! ♪ No, no, no. No!
1576
01:16:59,092 --> 01:17:02,138
"Ms. Norbury is a sad,
old drug pusher"?
1577
01:17:03,879 --> 01:17:06,621
"Haley Fralenger has" ...what?
1578
01:17:06,795 --> 01:17:07,927
- What'’s this?
- Hairy nips.
1579
01:17:08,101 --> 01:17:09,624
[laughing]
1580
01:17:09,798 --> 01:17:11,582
Good Lord.
1581
01:17:11,757 --> 01:17:14,629
[Regina] ♪ Mmm, I want
To make the world burn ♪
1582
01:17:14,803 --> 01:17:17,153
♪ Janis is a pyro-lez! ♪
1583
01:17:17,327 --> 01:17:19,547
Don'’t you worry.
We'’re gonna find out
who did this.
1584
01:17:19,721 --> 01:17:22,158
There'’s only three girls
in the whole school
who aren'’t in it.
1585
01:17:22,332 --> 01:17:24,900
[chorus]
♪ Regina is a fugly cow! ♪
1586
01:17:25,074 --> 01:17:27,381
♪ Regina is a fugly cow! ♪
1587
01:17:27,555 --> 01:17:29,252
♪ You wrote this ♪
1588
01:17:29,426 --> 01:17:32,647
[Regina]
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa! ♪
1589
01:17:32,821 --> 01:17:35,128
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1590
01:17:35,302 --> 01:17:37,739
♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1591
01:17:37,913 --> 01:17:40,133
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1592
01:17:40,307 --> 01:17:43,092
♪ And everyone turn ♪
1593
01:17:43,266 --> 01:17:47,706
♪ Mean... Mean ♪
1594
01:17:47,880 --> 01:17:53,233
♪ Mean! ♪
1595
01:17:53,407 --> 01:17:55,452
"Damian Hubbard
is too gay to function"?
1596
01:17:55,626 --> 01:17:57,019
That is only okay
when I say it.
1597
01:17:57,193 --> 01:17:58,586
Only Cady could
have written that.
1598
01:18:00,501 --> 01:18:01,981
[yelping]
1599
01:18:03,460 --> 01:18:08,552
[Regina] ♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1600
01:18:08,727 --> 01:18:12,731
♪ I want to make
The world turn ♪
1601
01:18:12,905 --> 01:18:18,171
♪ So mean! ♪
1602
01:18:18,345 --> 01:18:20,042
Oh, hell no!
1603
01:18:20,216 --> 01:18:24,046
I did not go
to graduate school for this.
1604
01:18:24,220 --> 01:18:29,225
[fire alarm ringing]♪ I want to watch
The world burn!♪
1605
01:18:29,399 --> 01:18:34,883
All junior girls report
to the gymnasium immediately!
1606
01:18:35,057 --> 01:18:36,667
Immediately!
1607
01:18:41,411 --> 01:18:43,413
[students whispering]
1608
01:18:49,245 --> 01:18:52,292
Never in my 31 years
as an educator
1609
01:18:52,466 --> 01:18:54,163
have I seen such behavior.
1610
01:18:54,337 --> 01:18:57,253
I have half a mind to cancel
your Spring Fling dance!
1611
01:18:57,427 --> 01:18:59,342
- No!
- I object.
1612
01:18:59,516 --> 01:19:01,083
[students clamoring]
1613
01:19:01,257 --> 01:19:02,476
But we'’re not gonna do that
1614
01:19:02,650 --> 01:19:04,173
because we'’ve already paid
the DJ.
1615
01:19:04,347 --> 01:19:08,917
But I am taking
this "Burn Book" seriously.
1616
01:19:09,091 --> 01:19:10,963
Now who has something
to say about this?
1617
01:19:19,710 --> 01:19:20,886
Someone wrote in that book
1618
01:19:21,060 --> 01:19:22,104
that I'’m lying
about being a virgin
1619
01:19:22,278 --> 01:19:24,846
because I use
super-jumbo tampons.
1620
01:19:25,020 --> 01:19:27,109
But I can'’t help it
if I have a heavy flow
1621
01:19:27,283 --> 01:19:28,807
and a wideset vagina.
1622
01:19:28,981 --> 01:19:32,636
Okay. Thank you.
Hold that thought.
1623
01:19:33,942 --> 01:19:36,205
Sharon, you need
- to run this.
- Oh, come on.
1624
01:19:36,379 --> 01:19:37,816
I need to be able
to tell parents
1625
01:19:37,990 --> 01:19:40,079
that we fixed this,
and honestly,
1626
01:19:40,253 --> 01:19:41,820
you need to prove
whoever called you
1627
01:19:41,994 --> 01:19:45,084
a drug pusher
was just joking.
1628
01:19:45,258 --> 01:19:46,955
Okay, fine,
but you are walking the dogs
1629
01:19:47,129 --> 01:19:49,001
every morning
for the rest of the week.
1630
01:19:49,175 --> 01:19:50,611
Thank you. I love you.
1631
01:19:50,785 --> 01:19:52,308
I love you, too.
1632
01:19:55,181 --> 01:19:56,182
[Ms. Norbury sighs]
1633
01:19:57,748 --> 01:19:59,011
[singing off-key] ♪ Well ♪
1634
01:19:59,185 --> 01:20:00,751
[music stops][clears throat]
Excuse me.
1635
01:20:02,318 --> 01:20:05,974
Well, okay, hotshots,
1636
01:20:06,845 --> 01:20:08,324
who wrote all this junk?
1637
01:20:11,023 --> 01:20:11,937
Cady?
1638
01:20:12,938 --> 01:20:14,504
Any ideas?
1639
01:20:16,942 --> 01:20:17,768
No.
1640
01:20:17,943 --> 01:20:19,422
Interesting.
1641
01:20:19,596 --> 01:20:21,163
Um, can I just say,
1642
01:20:21,337 --> 01:20:23,252
I don'’t think we have a clique
problem at this school?
1643
01:20:23,426 --> 01:20:25,515
And some of us
shouldn'’t have to participate
1644
01:20:25,689 --> 01:20:27,517
in whatever this is,
1645
01:20:27,691 --> 01:20:29,519
um, just because
of a few bad people.
1646
01:20:29,693 --> 01:20:31,870
"A few bad people."Mm-hmm.
1647
01:20:32,044 --> 01:20:35,830
[Ms. Norbury] Okay.
Well, let'’s unpack that.
1648
01:20:36,004 --> 01:20:38,180
I want everybody
to close your eyes.
1649
01:20:40,530 --> 01:20:41,792
And I want you
to raise your hand
1650
01:20:41,967 --> 01:20:43,707
if you have ever had
a girl say something bad
1651
01:20:43,882 --> 01:20:45,100
about you behind your back.
1652
01:20:47,102 --> 01:20:49,278
Open your eyes.
1653
01:20:52,412 --> 01:20:54,109
Now close them again.
1654
01:20:54,283 --> 01:20:56,546
This time I want you
to raise your hand
1655
01:20:56,720 --> 01:20:58,548
if you have ever said
something bad
1656
01:20:58,722 --> 01:21:00,376
about a friend
behind her back.
1657
01:21:09,385 --> 01:21:10,865
Open your eyes.
1658
01:21:14,303 --> 01:21:15,435
Hmm.
1659
01:21:15,609 --> 01:21:17,176
Seems like maybe
we could take a break
1660
01:21:17,350 --> 01:21:20,135
from being victims
in this situation
1661
01:21:20,309 --> 01:21:21,963
and start taking
responsibility
1662
01:21:22,137 --> 01:21:23,965
for our own actions.
1663
01:21:24,139 --> 01:21:26,359
Okay, we'’re gonna write out
some apologies
1664
01:21:26,533 --> 01:21:28,578
to people that we'’ve hurt
in our lives.
1665
01:21:28,752 --> 01:21:30,102
Everybody up.
1666
01:21:32,887 --> 01:21:35,020
[softly]
I'’m gonna kill you.
1667
01:21:35,194 --> 01:21:37,892
'’Cause one thing
I know for sure, guys:
1668
01:21:38,066 --> 01:21:41,852
Calling someone "ugly" is not
gonna make you better looking.
1669
01:21:42,027 --> 01:21:45,421
Calling somebody else "stupid"
does not make you any smarter.
1670
01:21:45,595 --> 01:21:48,076
And we as women have
to be able to trust
1671
01:21:48,250 --> 01:21:50,687
and support each other.
1672
01:21:50,861 --> 01:21:51,906
Like this.
1673
01:21:53,952 --> 01:21:55,518
[exhales][students gasp]
1674
01:21:55,692 --> 01:21:57,172
Okay, that was good.
That was really good.
1675
01:21:57,346 --> 01:21:59,479
That could have
really backfired.
1676
01:21:59,653 --> 01:22:01,176
Alyssa,
1677
01:22:01,350 --> 01:22:02,917
I'’m sorry I said you look
like you comb your hair
1678
01:22:03,091 --> 01:22:04,092
with a chicken bone.
1679
01:22:05,964 --> 01:22:07,966
I know you'’re vegetarian.
1680
01:22:09,663 --> 01:22:11,534
[yelps]
1681
01:22:11,708 --> 01:22:14,581
Gretchen, I'’m sorry I
laughed at you that time
you got diarrhea
1682
01:22:14,755 --> 01:22:16,757
on the Ferris wheel.
1683
01:22:16,931 --> 01:22:18,889
And I'’m sorry
for repeating it now.
1684
01:22:19,064 --> 01:22:20,979
And I'’m sorry to the people
who were below us.
1685
01:22:21,153 --> 01:22:22,241
[students snicker]
1686
01:22:23,198 --> 01:22:24,112
[students gasp]
1687
01:22:24,286 --> 01:22:25,418
Soona,
1688
01:22:25,592 --> 01:22:27,202
I'’m sorry I said
you were dragging
1689
01:22:27,376 --> 01:22:29,335
during "Revenge Party."
1690
01:22:29,509 --> 01:22:31,163
There was just, like,
so much pressure on us
1691
01:22:31,337 --> 01:22:32,991
to move the story forward
through montage.
1692
01:22:33,165 --> 01:22:34,122
Like, you know how it is.
1693
01:22:34,296 --> 01:22:36,603
What is going on?
1694
01:22:36,777 --> 01:22:37,952
Don'’t worry about it.
1695
01:22:38,126 --> 01:22:40,041
I just wish
we could all get along
1696
01:22:40,215 --> 01:22:42,217
like we used to
in elementary school.
1697
01:22:42,391 --> 01:22:44,698
[cries] I wish
I could bake a cake
1698
01:22:44,872 --> 01:22:48,093
made out of rainbows
and smiles.
1699
01:22:48,267 --> 01:22:50,660
Then we could all eat it
and be happy.
1700
01:22:50,834 --> 01:22:53,054
She don'’t even go here!
1701
01:22:54,316 --> 01:22:55,883
Do you go to this school?
1702
01:22:56,057 --> 01:22:58,581
I'’m here for a track meet.
1703
01:22:58,755 --> 01:23:00,931
I just have a lot of feelings!
[crying]
1704
01:23:01,106 --> 01:23:02,933
Okay, sweetheart,
you got to go home.
1705
01:23:03,108 --> 01:23:05,110
Okay. [crying]
1706
01:23:05,284 --> 01:23:06,676
Come on, we'’re gonna...[student] Oh, thank you.
1707
01:23:06,850 --> 01:23:08,330
...we'’re gonna call
your grown-up.
1708
01:23:09,070 --> 01:23:10,506
[Janis] My turn, I guess.
1709
01:23:10,680 --> 01:23:12,508
Watch, this is either gonna be
some really crappy art
1710
01:23:12,682 --> 01:23:13,901
or really good fire.
1711
01:23:14,075 --> 01:23:15,729
[students laughing]
1712
01:23:21,474 --> 01:23:23,171
Okay, sure.
1713
01:23:23,345 --> 01:23:25,086
I have an apology.
1714
01:23:26,566 --> 01:23:28,437
My friend and I thought
it would be fun
1715
01:23:28,611 --> 01:23:31,310
to mess up
Regina George'’s life.
1716
01:23:31,484 --> 01:23:33,573
So we got
these candy-bar things
1717
01:23:33,747 --> 01:23:35,227
to make her gain weight...[students gasp]
1718
01:23:35,401 --> 01:23:38,056
...and we told her lard
was face cream.
1719
01:23:38,230 --> 01:23:39,448
[students laughing]
1720
01:23:39,622 --> 01:23:42,625
And we turned her best friends
against her.
1721
01:23:43,670 --> 01:23:45,237
And then my friend Cady...
1722
01:23:45,411 --> 01:23:47,848
Yeah, you all know
my friend Cady.
1723
01:23:48,022 --> 01:23:52,940
She got Regina'’s boyfriend
to dump her!
1724
01:23:53,114 --> 01:23:54,637
[students] Oh![Janis chuckles]
1725
01:23:54,811 --> 01:23:56,030
And it turns out,
1726
01:23:56,204 --> 01:23:57,858
Cady'’s actually
just as selfish
1727
01:23:58,032 --> 01:24:00,687
and phony as Regina George.
1728
01:24:02,341 --> 01:24:04,343
So this apology is to myself.
1729
01:24:05,692 --> 01:24:07,433
Because I should'’ve
known better.
1730
01:24:09,174 --> 01:24:10,610
♪ So your best friend
Screwed you over ♪
1731
01:24:10,784 --> 01:24:12,351
♪ Acted nice when
She'’s not nice ♪
1732
01:24:12,525 --> 01:24:14,309
♪ Well, I have some advice ♪
1733
01:24:14,483 --> 01:24:16,268
♪ '’Cause it'’s happened
To me twice ♪
1734
01:24:16,442 --> 01:24:19,575
♪ Here'’s my secret strategy
It always works because ♪
1735
01:24:19,749 --> 01:24:22,448
♪ The world doesn'’t end
It just feels like it does ♪
1736
01:24:22,622 --> 01:24:25,668
♪ Just raise your right finger ♪
1737
01:24:25,842 --> 01:24:30,020
♪ And solemnly swear ♪
1738
01:24:30,195 --> 01:24:33,198
♪ Whatever they say about me ♪
1739
01:24:33,372 --> 01:24:36,723
♪ I don'’t care ♪
1740
01:24:36,897 --> 01:24:38,594
♪ I won'’t twist in knots
To join your game ♪
1741
01:24:38,768 --> 01:24:40,727
♪ I will say
"You make me mad"♪
1742
01:24:40,901 --> 01:24:43,643
♪ And if you treat me bad
I'’ll say, "You'’re bad"♪
1743
01:24:43,817 --> 01:24:45,601
♪ If I eat alone
From this moment on ♪
1744
01:24:45,775 --> 01:24:47,560
♪ That'’s just what I'’ll do ♪
1745
01:24:47,734 --> 01:24:50,693
♪ '’Cause I'’d rather be me
I'’d rather be me ♪
1746
01:24:50,867 --> 01:24:53,261
♪ I'’d rather be me ♪
1747
01:24:53,435 --> 01:24:55,785
♪ Than be with you ♪
1748
01:25:01,443 --> 01:25:03,010
♪ We'’re supposed
To all be ladies ♪
1749
01:25:03,184 --> 01:25:04,881
♪ And be nurturing and care ♪
1750
01:25:05,055 --> 01:25:06,535
♪ Is that really fair? ♪
1751
01:25:06,709 --> 01:25:08,320
♪ Boys get to fight
We have to share ♪
1752
01:25:08,494 --> 01:25:09,495
♪ Here'’s the way that
That turns out ♪
1753
01:25:09,669 --> 01:25:11,671
♪ We always understand ♪
1754
01:25:11,845 --> 01:25:14,630
♪ How to slap someone down
With our underhand ♪
1755
01:25:14,804 --> 01:25:18,417
♪ So here is my right finger ♪
1756
01:25:18,591 --> 01:25:21,985
♪ To how girls should behave ♪
1757
01:25:22,160 --> 01:25:25,554
♪ '’Cause sometimes
What'’s meant to break you ♪
1758
01:25:25,728 --> 01:25:28,992
♪ Makes you brave ♪
1759
01:25:29,167 --> 01:25:32,257
♪ So I will not act all innocent
I won'’t fake apologize ♪
1760
01:25:32,431 --> 01:25:34,041
♪ Let'’s just fight
And then make up ♪
1761
01:25:34,215 --> 01:25:35,956
♪ Not tell these lies ♪
1762
01:25:36,130 --> 01:25:37,697
♪ Let'’s call our damage even ♪
1763
01:25:37,871 --> 01:25:39,786
♪ Clean the slate
Till it'’s like new ♪
1764
01:25:39,960 --> 01:25:43,006
♪ It'’s a new life for me
Where I'’d rather be me ♪
1765
01:25:43,181 --> 01:25:45,487
♪ I'’d rather be me ♪
1766
01:25:45,661 --> 01:25:47,794
♪ Than be with you ♪
1767
01:25:49,709 --> 01:25:51,363
♪ I'’ll say, "No"♪ No! ♪
1768
01:25:51,537 --> 01:25:52,886
♪ I'’ll say, "Knock it off
With your notes ♪
1769
01:25:53,060 --> 01:25:55,280
♪ And your rules
And your games"♪
1770
01:25:55,454 --> 01:25:57,151
♪ And those sycophants
Who follow you
I'’ll remember all their names ♪
1771
01:25:57,325 --> 01:26:00,459
♪ And when they drag you down
Like they inevitably do ♪
1772
01:26:00,633 --> 01:26:02,243
♪ I will not laugh along
With them ♪
1773
01:26:02,417 --> 01:26:03,592
♪ And approve
Their palace coup ♪
1774
01:26:03,766 --> 01:26:05,333
♪ '’Cause that'’s not me ♪
1775
01:26:07,596 --> 01:26:09,032
♪ I don'’t need
Their good opinions ♪
1776
01:26:09,207 --> 01:26:11,209
♪ I'’ve got plenty of opinions ♪
1777
01:26:11,383 --> 01:26:14,429
♪ Every asshole has opinions
But it doesn'’t make '’em true ♪
1778
01:26:14,603 --> 01:26:17,867
♪ What'’s true is being me
And I'’d rather be me ♪
1779
01:26:18,041 --> 01:26:20,392
♪ I'’d rather be me ♪
1780
01:26:20,566 --> 01:26:22,872
♪ Than be with you ♪[camera shutter clicks]
1781
01:26:24,570 --> 01:26:28,138
♪ So raise '’em high
'’Cause playing nice and shy ♪
1782
01:26:28,313 --> 01:26:32,665
♪ Is insulting my IQ ♪
1783
01:26:32,839 --> 01:26:36,103
♪ I'’d rather be me
I'’d rather be me ♪
1784
01:26:36,277 --> 01:26:39,498
♪ I'’d rather be me
Than be with you ♪
1785
01:26:39,672 --> 01:26:41,239
Walk away, turd.
1786
01:26:41,413 --> 01:26:44,024
Regina, I'’m so sorry!
I didn'’t mean to hurt you!
1787
01:26:44,198 --> 01:26:46,548
You are
a lowlife version of me...
1788
01:26:46,722 --> 01:26:50,030
♪ I'’d rather be me
I'’d rather be me ♪
1789
01:26:50,204 --> 01:26:55,340
♪ I'’d rather be me
Than be with ♪
1790
01:26:55,514 --> 01:26:58,908
♪ You! ♪
1791
01:26:59,082 --> 01:27:00,910
[students screaming]
1792
01:27:07,221 --> 01:27:09,919
And that'’s how
Regina George died.
1793
01:27:10,093 --> 01:27:13,706
Again, no one died!
1794
01:27:13,880 --> 01:27:16,404
I mean, technically, Regina
did die for, like, 15 seconds
1795
01:27:16,578 --> 01:27:18,363
but then she was revived.
1796
01:27:18,537 --> 01:27:21,583
And of course,
the rumor mill
started going insane.
1797
01:27:21,757 --> 01:27:24,107
[student 1] I just saw
Regina get hit by a bus.
1798
01:27:24,282 --> 01:27:26,458
[student 2] An artery come out
of her neck and her head
went all the way around!
1799
01:27:26,632 --> 01:27:27,981
[student 3] Guys, street safety
is so important.
1800
01:27:28,155 --> 01:27:29,852
I'’m just sad, like,
that'’s all I can say.
1801
01:27:34,030 --> 01:27:35,684
We are sending
our love and prayers...
1802
01:27:35,858 --> 01:27:38,121
Link in bio to my GoFundMe
page to raise money.
1803
01:27:38,296 --> 01:27:39,340
Regina, we knew
you would pull through.
1804
01:27:39,514 --> 01:27:40,950
How do I get this
off my algorithm?
1805
01:27:41,124 --> 01:27:42,865
[student 1] I'’m not one
to spread rumors,
1806
01:27:43,039 --> 01:27:44,998
but I'’m pretty sure I saw Cady
push her right in front of it.
1807
01:27:45,172 --> 01:27:46,956
On my life, Cady pushed her.
1808
01:27:47,130 --> 01:27:49,481
I literally saw Cady
push Regina.
1809
01:27:49,655 --> 01:27:51,396
Don'’t fill up my comments,
but... karma.
1810
01:27:51,570 --> 01:27:54,486
Girls are made deranged
by what'’s called hormones.
1811
01:27:54,660 --> 01:27:55,835
Hormones.
1812
01:27:56,009 --> 01:28:00,318
W-H-O-R...[laughing]
1813
01:28:06,324 --> 01:28:08,456
F that bitch.[student 3] F that wench.
1814
01:28:09,588 --> 01:28:11,981
[students chattering]
1815
01:28:15,942 --> 01:28:17,378
[Mr. Duvall] All right.
1816
01:28:17,552 --> 01:28:21,382
Ms. Norbury is on a, uh,
temporary leave of absence.
1817
01:28:21,556 --> 01:28:23,079
- Jail.
- Hey.
1818
01:28:23,253 --> 01:28:25,778
I heard that, Miss Rockwell.
1819
01:28:25,952 --> 01:28:28,433
Anyways, we'’re not sure
who your substitute...
1820
01:28:28,607 --> 01:28:30,348
[breath trembles] I did it.
1821
01:28:32,785 --> 01:28:35,701
I wrote that Ms. Norbury is
a drug pusher, and it'’s a lie.
1822
01:28:40,575 --> 01:28:42,360
[students whispering]
1823
01:28:46,276 --> 01:28:49,105
Three-week suspension.[sighs]
1824
01:28:49,279 --> 01:28:52,413
This is not
who I know you to be.
1825
01:28:52,587 --> 01:28:53,501
I know.
1826
01:28:57,810 --> 01:28:59,202
Where is my Ndebele vase?
1827
01:28:59,377 --> 01:29:02,249
What?[Ms. Heron]
What do you mean, what?
1828
01:29:02,423 --> 01:29:04,991
You know, the colorful vase
that'’s always in that window.
1829
01:29:05,165 --> 01:29:06,471
Where is it?
1830
01:29:07,385 --> 01:29:09,430
[teenagers clamoring]
1831
01:29:11,040 --> 01:29:13,739
I had some friends over
when you were away.
1832
01:29:13,913 --> 01:29:15,044
Go.
1833
01:29:15,218 --> 01:29:16,698
Go do your homework!
1834
01:29:16,872 --> 01:29:18,787
Um, also...
1835
01:29:20,398 --> 01:29:22,574
I need you to sign
my Calculus test,
1836
01:29:22,748 --> 01:29:23,923
'’cause I'’m failing.
1837
01:29:53,909 --> 01:29:54,693
[knocking on door]
1838
01:29:54,867 --> 01:29:56,608
Hey.
1839
01:29:56,782 --> 01:29:59,611
I guess you'’ll need this back
to set an alarm for tomorrow.
1840
01:30:00,438 --> 01:30:02,004
Don'’t want it.
1841
01:30:02,178 --> 01:30:04,267
You only have one message.
1842
01:30:04,442 --> 01:30:06,922
From someone named Karen,
who says:
1843
01:30:07,096 --> 01:30:10,186
"Donut worry.
I am still your freend."
1844
01:30:14,582 --> 01:30:16,671
How bad is it gonna
be tomorrow?
1845
01:30:16,845 --> 01:30:18,412
I was thinking maybe
I should go back
1846
01:30:18,586 --> 01:30:20,109
to being homeschooled.
1847
01:30:20,283 --> 01:30:21,241
[Ms. Heron] Sweetie, no.
1848
01:30:21,415 --> 01:30:22,938
It'’s too small, me and you.
1849
01:30:23,112 --> 01:30:24,897
And I think
you'’re learning things now
1850
01:30:25,071 --> 01:30:26,855
that I don'’t know
how to teach.
1851
01:30:33,122 --> 01:30:34,515
Good night.
1852
01:30:35,603 --> 01:30:37,344
- Mom?
- Hmm?
1853
01:30:39,128 --> 01:30:43,176
Can you sit with me
till I fall asleep?
1854
01:30:44,003 --> 01:30:44,960
Mm-hmm.
1855
01:30:56,406 --> 01:30:58,496
Oh, sweetie.[crying]
1856
01:31:00,106 --> 01:31:01,281
[sniffles]
1857
01:31:06,112 --> 01:31:08,027
[breath trembling]
1858
01:31:18,864 --> 01:31:21,257
Oh, hi. Did you want
to buy some drugs?
1859
01:31:21,431 --> 01:31:24,043
No, I was just handing
my quiz back.
1860
01:31:24,217 --> 01:31:26,828
You know, when the police
tore apart my house
1861
01:31:27,002 --> 01:31:28,569
looking for imaginary heroin,
1862
01:31:28,743 --> 01:31:31,441
I found this old calculator
that I thought I lost, so...
1863
01:31:31,616 --> 01:31:33,095
totally worth it.
1864
01:31:34,009 --> 01:31:35,141
I'’m really sorry.
1865
01:31:35,315 --> 01:31:36,925
Thank you.
1866
01:31:37,099 --> 01:31:38,753
But I know you didn'’t write
that whole book yourself.
1867
01:31:38,927 --> 01:31:40,276
You gonna tell Mr. Duvall
who did?
1868
01:31:41,582 --> 01:31:42,844
No.
1869
01:31:43,018 --> 01:31:44,933
Trying this new thing
where I don'’t talk
1870
01:31:45,107 --> 01:31:46,500
about people
behind their backs.
1871
01:31:46,674 --> 01:31:49,764
Getting hit by a bus seems
like enough punishment.
1872
01:31:51,157 --> 01:31:53,463
- 100.
- Welcome back, nerd.
1873
01:31:55,465 --> 01:31:57,729
Will you be attending
the Spring Fling this weekend?
1874
01:31:57,903 --> 01:32:00,079
No. Everyone hates me.
1875
01:32:00,253 --> 01:32:02,298
Perfect, because
I figured out a way for you
1876
01:32:02,472 --> 01:32:03,648
to earn some extra credit.
1877
01:32:03,822 --> 01:32:05,475
Hey, Bird,
you ready to suit up
1878
01:32:05,650 --> 01:32:07,565
and show off
your math schquills?
1879
01:32:07,739 --> 01:32:09,567
Kev, stop trying
to make "schquills" happen.
It'’s not gonna happen.
1880
01:32:09,741 --> 01:32:12,700
- Jacob, get off my dick.
- Hey! PG-13, please.
1881
01:32:14,441 --> 01:32:17,836
[instruments tuning]
1882
01:32:24,146 --> 01:32:26,279
[drumroll]
1883
01:32:26,453 --> 01:32:28,020
[guitar strums]
1884
01:32:29,064 --> 01:32:30,370
[cymbal crashes]
1885
01:32:30,544 --> 01:32:32,981
Welcome to the ICMT
State Math Championships.
1886
01:32:33,155 --> 01:32:34,853
Sponsored by SeatGeek.
1887
01:32:35,027 --> 01:32:36,550
Yeah, SeatGeek!
1888
01:32:36,724 --> 01:32:38,160
Tonight will be
the culmination
1889
01:32:38,334 --> 01:32:41,076
of all you'’ve worked for.[playing soulful tune]
1890
01:32:41,250 --> 01:32:43,165
Each right answer
will be worth two points.
1891
01:32:43,339 --> 01:32:46,865
The highest score at the end
of 40 minutes of play wins.
1892
01:32:47,039 --> 01:32:49,824
As always, no calculators.
1893
01:32:51,173 --> 01:32:53,959
- Question one.
- Two, three, four!
1894
01:32:54,133 --> 01:32:56,222
[rock music playing]
1895
01:32:59,225 --> 01:33:02,010
Determine the equation of
the tangent line to the graph.
1896
01:33:02,184 --> 01:33:03,272
[buzzer buzzes]
1897
01:33:03,446 --> 01:33:05,492
The answer is B.[moderator] Correct.
1898
01:33:05,666 --> 01:33:08,495
Solve the equation above
using prime numbers.
1899
01:33:08,669 --> 01:33:10,584
[buzzer buzzes][Marymount captain]
Prime factor 41.
1900
01:33:10,758 --> 01:33:12,151
[moderator] Correct.
1901
01:33:12,325 --> 01:33:13,892
Please solve for x.[buzzer buzzes]
1902
01:33:14,066 --> 01:33:16,198
x = 2?[moderator] Incorrect.
1903
01:33:16,372 --> 01:33:17,896
x is greater
than the value of y.
1904
01:33:18,070 --> 01:33:19,724
Correct.
1905
01:33:21,334 --> 01:33:23,466
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1906
01:33:23,641 --> 01:33:26,208
♪ I didn'’t get it ♪
1907
01:33:26,382 --> 01:33:30,517
♪ I didn'’t get it, somehow ♪
1908
01:33:30,691 --> 01:33:34,477
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
1909
01:33:34,652 --> 01:33:36,566
♪ I didn'’t get it ♪
1910
01:33:36,741 --> 01:33:37,785
[buzzer buzzes]
Negative two!
1911
01:33:37,959 --> 01:33:38,873
[moderator] Correct.
1912
01:33:39,047 --> 01:33:40,701
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1913
01:33:42,703 --> 01:33:44,792
♪ Whoa-oa-oa
Stupid with love♪[buzzer buzzes]
1914
01:33:44,966 --> 01:33:47,490
- Function [x] = mx + c.
- Correct.
1915
01:33:47,665 --> 01:33:49,536
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1916
01:33:51,407 --> 01:33:52,844
♪ Whoa-oa-oa
Stupid with love ♪
1917
01:33:53,018 --> 01:33:54,454
Both polynomials
are second degree,
1918
01:33:54,628 --> 01:33:56,021
so the asymptote is at y = 5.
1919
01:33:56,195 --> 01:33:57,762
[moderator] Excellent.
1920
01:33:57,936 --> 01:33:59,372
[band] ♪ I feel my brain
Begin to rust ♪
1921
01:33:59,546 --> 01:34:01,548
♪ I am filled with calcu-lust ♪
1922
01:34:01,722 --> 01:34:03,506
♪ Does this guy work out?
He must ♪
1923
01:34:03,681 --> 01:34:05,770
♪ All sweaty at the gym ♪
1924
01:34:05,944 --> 01:34:10,078
♪ Could that image be more hot?
Let me just enjoy
That thought ♪
1925
01:34:10,252 --> 01:34:11,297
♪ School was rough ♪[Regina groans in pain]
1926
01:34:11,471 --> 01:34:12,428
♪ But now it'’s not ♪
1927
01:34:12,602 --> 01:34:13,429
[buzzer buzzes]
Negative four?
1928
01:34:13,603 --> 01:34:14,822
[buzzer buzzes]
True.
1929
01:34:14,996 --> 01:34:16,041
[buzzer buzzes]29?
1930
01:34:16,215 --> 01:34:17,216
[buzzer buzzes]
The slope is zero.
1931
01:34:17,390 --> 01:34:18,565
Incorrect.[buzzer buzzes]
1932
01:34:18,739 --> 01:34:20,045
The slope
of the tangent line is four.
1933
01:34:20,219 --> 01:34:22,917
Excellent.[music halts]
1934
01:34:23,091 --> 01:34:25,572
Well, this has only ever
happened once before.
1935
01:34:25,746 --> 01:34:28,706
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a tie.
1936
01:34:28,880 --> 01:34:30,882
[rock music resumes]
1937
01:34:31,056 --> 01:34:32,361
In the event of a tie,
1938
01:34:32,535 --> 01:34:34,973
we move into a one-on-one
sudden-death round
1939
01:34:35,147 --> 01:34:37,149
where each team
may choose their opponent.
1940
01:34:43,721 --> 01:34:45,200
We pick the girl.
1941
01:34:46,985 --> 01:34:48,638
We pick the girl, too.
1942
01:34:51,511 --> 01:34:53,818
Ms. Krafft, Ms. Heron,
please step forward.
1943
01:34:53,992 --> 01:34:54,993
[camera shutter clicks]
1944
01:34:57,082 --> 01:34:58,257
[camera shutter clicks]
1945
01:35:00,563 --> 01:35:03,262
[cheerful rock music playing][band vocalizing]
1946
01:35:10,573 --> 01:35:13,446
- Nice to meet you.
- Whatever, slut.
1947
01:35:13,620 --> 01:35:17,015
Contestants, please find
the limit of this expression.
1948
01:35:21,802 --> 01:35:23,717
You know,
it'’s not me against you.
1949
01:35:23,891 --> 01:35:27,025
It'’s North Shore
versus Marymount.
1950
01:35:28,200 --> 01:35:30,028
A very wise teacher...[buzzer buzzes]
1951
01:35:30,202 --> 01:35:31,638
The limit is negative one.
1952
01:35:33,161 --> 01:35:34,815
That answer is incorrect.
1953
01:35:37,426 --> 01:35:40,125
If Ms. Heron
can answer correctly,
we have a winner.
1954
01:35:40,299 --> 01:35:42,997
You got this, Golf Bird.[Cady chuckles lightly]
1955
01:35:43,171 --> 01:35:45,957
Why can'’t I remember
anything about limits?
1956
01:35:46,131 --> 01:35:48,046
Honey, I don'’t know your life.
1957
01:35:49,787 --> 01:35:51,789
Why did you waste time
insulting me?
1958
01:35:51,963 --> 01:35:53,660
Why did I waste time
judging your hair?
1959
01:35:53,834 --> 01:35:55,488
This is not a competition.
1960
01:35:56,402 --> 01:35:58,099
It kind of is, though.
1961
01:35:58,273 --> 01:35:59,797
Right.
1962
01:36:00,667 --> 01:36:01,973
A math one.
1963
01:36:03,496 --> 01:36:05,280
♪ I was stupid ♪
1964
01:36:06,542 --> 01:36:08,240
♪ But now I get it ♪
1965
01:36:08,414 --> 01:36:12,287
♪ No what ifs, might haves
Could have been if I had ♪
1966
01:36:12,461 --> 01:36:14,681
♪ Only tried, not held back ♪
1967
01:36:14,855 --> 01:36:17,031
♪ That'’s not a part of my plan ♪
1968
01:36:17,205 --> 01:36:19,120
♪ I see the things
That I missed ♪
1969
01:36:19,294 --> 01:36:21,514
♪ No, that'’s not the me
That I am ♪
1970
01:36:21,688 --> 01:36:24,517
♪ The limit
It doesn'’t exist!♪[buzzer buzzes]
1971
01:36:25,605 --> 01:36:27,172
The limit does not exist.
1972
01:36:27,346 --> 01:36:30,175
Our new state champions,
the North Shore Mathletes.
1973
01:36:30,349 --> 01:36:31,567
[cheering, laughing]
1974
01:36:31,741 --> 01:36:33,178
[cheering]
1975
01:36:34,527 --> 01:36:35,833
Yeah, you like that,
Marymount?
1976
01:36:36,007 --> 01:36:38,270
Get some! Get some!
1977
01:36:38,444 --> 01:36:39,967
Don'’t hold me back!
Don'’t hold me back!
1978
01:36:40,141 --> 01:36:41,926
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1979
01:36:42,796 --> 01:36:44,450
♪ But now I get it ♪
1980
01:36:44,624 --> 01:36:46,756
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1981
01:36:46,931 --> 01:36:48,933
♪ But now I get it ♪
1982
01:36:49,107 --> 01:36:51,022
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1983
01:36:51,196 --> 01:36:54,155
♪ But now I get it
Stupid!♪
1984
01:36:54,764 --> 01:36:55,896
Have you seen Jason?
1985
01:36:56,070 --> 01:36:57,942
Like right now
or like ever in life?
1986
01:36:58,116 --> 01:36:59,552
Ohhh, miss!
1987
01:36:59,726 --> 01:37:01,989
I'’m supposed to hang
with my fallback in there
1988
01:37:02,163 --> 01:37:03,469
but, you know,
if you wanted to slip out,
1989
01:37:03,643 --> 01:37:05,601
meet in my Jeep or... Jason!
1990
01:37:05,775 --> 01:37:07,081
It'’s me!
1991
01:37:07,255 --> 01:37:08,604
"Fallback"?
1992
01:37:08,778 --> 01:37:10,824
No, I... I know.
Yeah, I knew the whole time.
1993
01:37:10,998 --> 01:37:12,957
No, we are done!
1994
01:37:13,131 --> 01:37:14,175
Because you know what?
1995
01:37:14,349 --> 01:37:18,179
I have a 140 IQ,
very toned legs,
1996
01:37:18,353 --> 01:37:20,268
and my parents love me!
1997
01:37:20,442 --> 01:37:22,357
And you will regret this
when you'’re old
1998
01:37:22,531 --> 01:37:24,882
because I am fricking fetch!
1999
01:37:25,056 --> 01:37:27,667
- That'’s how you use it.
- Come on.
2000
01:37:28,276 --> 01:37:29,625
[chattering]
2001
01:37:29,799 --> 01:37:31,627
[Mr. Duvall on mic]
Okay, attention, everybody.
2002
01:37:32,672 --> 01:37:35,544
Whoo-hoo-hoo,
let'’s go!
2003
01:37:39,461 --> 01:37:40,462
[water running]
2004
01:37:42,900 --> 01:37:43,901
Regina!
2005
01:37:46,947 --> 01:37:48,470
You look pretty.
2006
01:37:50,908 --> 01:37:52,997
I'’m wearing
a corrective neck collar.
2007
01:37:55,477 --> 01:37:56,914
[makeup clatters]
2008
01:37:59,612 --> 01:38:02,789
I'’m sorry about the bus.
I feel like it'’s all my fault.
2009
01:38:02,963 --> 01:38:05,226
No... No, it'’s not your fault.
2010
01:38:05,400 --> 01:38:07,925
Cady, don'’t apologize for
things that aren'’t your fault.
2011
01:38:08,099 --> 01:38:10,536
But, yeah,
I forgive you, '’cause...
2012
01:38:12,451 --> 01:38:14,148
I'’m on a lot
of pain medication right now.
2013
01:38:14,322 --> 01:38:16,890
You know I died
for 15 seconds?
2014
01:38:17,064 --> 01:38:18,065
Yeah.
2015
01:38:19,762 --> 01:38:23,592
Anyway, my mom was really
pumped to be on the news.
2016
01:38:23,766 --> 01:38:24,942
[both chuckle]
2017
01:38:25,116 --> 01:38:26,378
It'’s weird
when people treat you
2018
01:38:26,552 --> 01:38:27,683
like you'’re famous
or something.
2019
01:38:27,857 --> 01:38:30,034
It'’s amazing. [chuckles]
2020
01:38:30,208 --> 01:38:31,513
Until it'’s not.
2021
01:38:33,385 --> 01:38:37,215
[clears throat] Look, I...
I know I have to change.
2022
01:38:38,390 --> 01:38:40,435
And I was harsh.
2023
01:38:40,609 --> 01:38:42,220
And people say
that I'’m a bitch.
2024
01:38:42,394 --> 01:38:44,787
You know what they would
call me if I was a boy?
2025
01:38:44,962 --> 01:38:47,790
Strong."Reginald."
2026
01:38:47,965 --> 01:38:51,707
That'’s what my mom was gonna
name me if I was a boy, so...
2027
01:38:51,881 --> 01:38:54,841
Honestly,
I would rather be "bitch."
2028
01:38:55,755 --> 01:38:57,104
[Regina laughs]
2029
01:39:00,716 --> 01:39:02,805
I like you.
2030
01:39:02,980 --> 01:39:05,678
But this medicine
makes me like everyone, so...
2031
01:39:05,852 --> 01:39:07,985
[Mr. Duvall] Okay,
do we have all of our nominees
2032
01:39:08,159 --> 01:39:10,639
for the Spring Fling
King and Queen onstage?
2033
01:39:10,813 --> 01:39:12,990
I just want to say
you'’re all winners.
2034
01:39:13,164 --> 01:39:18,169
And I am retiring as soon
as this evening is over.
2035
01:39:18,343 --> 01:39:19,518
[drumroll]
2036
01:39:19,692 --> 01:39:22,260
The winner
of the Spring Fling King is...
2037
01:39:22,434 --> 01:39:24,088
Shane Oman.
2038
01:39:24,262 --> 01:39:26,090
[all cheering]
2039
01:39:26,264 --> 01:39:27,874
Whoo! Yeah!
2040
01:39:31,269 --> 01:39:32,270
Hey.
2041
01:39:33,880 --> 01:39:35,751
Um, have you seen Janis?
2042
01:39:35,925 --> 01:39:38,058
Every day since 2009.
2043
01:39:38,232 --> 01:39:39,538
But she doesn'’t want
to see you.
2044
01:39:39,712 --> 01:39:42,149
[Mr. Duvall] And
your Spring Fling Queen...
2045
01:39:42,323 --> 01:39:44,978
Damian, I'’m...
I'’m really sorry.
2046
01:39:45,152 --> 01:39:47,285
[Mr. Duvall] Cady Heron.[all gasp]
2047
01:39:47,459 --> 01:39:50,027
- What?
- I mean, of course she is.
2048
01:39:50,201 --> 01:39:52,377
[mathletes cheering][students applauding]
2049
01:39:52,551 --> 01:39:54,074
[Kevin G] Go, Cady!
2050
01:39:55,684 --> 01:39:56,946
Where is Cady?
2051
01:40:00,863 --> 01:40:02,952
[students whispering]
2052
01:40:11,526 --> 01:40:12,745
Congratulations.
2053
01:40:16,749 --> 01:40:17,793
Um...
2054
01:40:19,012 --> 01:40:20,883
I think people voted for me
2055
01:40:21,058 --> 01:40:22,363
because they think
I pushed someone
2056
01:40:22,537 --> 01:40:23,756
in front of a bus.
2057
01:40:23,930 --> 01:40:27,064
It'’s not your fault.
A bus pushed me.
2058
01:40:30,937 --> 01:40:34,071
But what is my fault is
2059
01:40:34,245 --> 01:40:35,768
the way I treated my friends.
2060
01:40:37,639 --> 01:40:40,599
I used you and I lied to you
and I'’m... I'’m so sorry.
2061
01:40:44,124 --> 01:40:46,648
I'’m also sorry to everyone
2062
01:40:46,822 --> 01:40:48,737
whose feelings got hurt
from the Burn Book.
2063
01:40:48,911 --> 01:40:50,304
You know,
it'’s really not required
2064
01:40:50,478 --> 01:40:51,958
for you to make a speech.
2065
01:40:52,132 --> 01:40:54,178
Right. Almost done,
I promise. Um...
2066
01:40:55,396 --> 01:40:59,183
I think everyone looks
like royalty tonight.
2067
01:40:59,357 --> 01:41:04,840
It just seems weird
for one person to win this.
2068
01:41:07,495 --> 01:41:10,107
I mean,
it'’s just a chunk of plastic.
2069
01:41:12,413 --> 01:41:14,894
We could just share it.
2070
01:41:15,068 --> 01:41:16,809
[all gasp]
2071
01:41:19,028 --> 01:41:23,207
♪ Cheap, fake
Easy to break ♪
2072
01:41:23,381 --> 01:41:25,992
♪ That'’s how I used to be ♪
2073
01:41:26,166 --> 01:41:28,821
Here... Take it.
2074
01:41:28,995 --> 01:41:31,215
♪ Now I'’m awake ♪
2075
01:41:31,389 --> 01:41:33,869
♪ I'’ll tell you what I see ♪
2076
01:41:34,043 --> 01:41:36,872
♪ Plastic don'’t shine
Glitter don'’t shine ♪
2077
01:41:37,046 --> 01:41:41,050
♪ Rhinestones don'’t shine
The way you do ♪
2078
01:41:41,225 --> 01:41:44,445
♪ You are so real
You are so rare ♪
2079
01:41:44,619 --> 01:41:47,013
♪ I see you there ♪[piece clatters]
2080
01:41:47,187 --> 01:41:50,756
♪ I see you ♪
2081
01:41:50,930 --> 01:41:53,062
♪ I see stars ♪
2082
01:41:53,237 --> 01:41:56,414
♪ So many stars tonight ♪
2083
01:41:56,588 --> 01:42:00,635
♪ You could make diamonds dull ♪
2084
01:42:00,809 --> 01:42:04,291
♪ You are so beautiful ♪
2085
01:42:04,465 --> 01:42:07,207
♪ I see stars ♪
2086
01:42:07,381 --> 01:42:10,819
♪ You shine as bright as day ♪
2087
01:42:10,993 --> 01:42:13,996
♪ I will look out for you ♪
2088
01:42:14,171 --> 01:42:17,783
♪ We'’ll light each other'’s way ♪
2089
01:42:17,957 --> 01:42:22,048
♪ You'’re all stars ♪
2090
01:42:23,919 --> 01:42:25,486
All right,
have a good time, everyone.
2091
01:42:25,660 --> 01:42:26,531
No vaping.
2092
01:42:26,705 --> 01:42:27,793
Rachel Hamilton!
2093
01:42:27,967 --> 01:42:28,968
Give me that inhaler.
2094
01:42:43,765 --> 01:42:45,506
Are you still mad at me?
2095
01:42:45,680 --> 01:42:48,030
I don'’t know.
Are you still an asshole?
2096
01:42:48,944 --> 01:42:50,294
I don'’t think so?
2097
01:42:56,691 --> 01:42:58,084
Cute.[chuckles]
2098
01:42:59,781 --> 01:43:02,219
[student]
♪ Wherever darkness falls ♪
2099
01:43:02,393 --> 01:43:07,441
♪ I'’ll be the light ♪
2100
01:43:07,615 --> 01:43:11,010
♪ To guide you home ♪
2101
01:43:11,184 --> 01:43:13,273
She sounds good.
2102
01:43:14,318 --> 01:43:16,624
But she does not
go here, y'’all.
2103
01:43:16,798 --> 01:43:19,584
Would you look over there?
Oh, my gosh!
2104
01:43:21,977 --> 01:43:24,110
- Do you want to dance?
- Yeah.
2105
01:43:25,633 --> 01:43:26,808
[both chuckle]
2106
01:43:29,246 --> 01:43:31,900
Congrats on winning state.
The jacket looks, uh,
really good on you.
2107
01:43:32,074 --> 01:43:35,556
Thanks. It has a pocket inside
for a calculator.
2108
01:43:35,730 --> 01:43:36,818
- What?
- Yeah.
2109
01:43:36,992 --> 01:43:37,993
Grool.
2110
01:43:38,167 --> 01:43:39,386
[laughs]
2111
01:43:39,560 --> 01:43:40,866
Grool.
2112
01:43:43,564 --> 01:43:46,698
[student] ♪ You stars ♪
2113
01:43:46,872 --> 01:43:50,267
♪ So many stars tonight ♪
2114
01:43:50,441 --> 01:43:53,182
♪ I see stars ♪
2115
01:43:53,357 --> 01:43:54,836
[Damian] And that was
the first time in history
2116
01:43:55,010 --> 01:43:57,361
that Spring Fling
was actually fun.
2117
01:43:57,535 --> 01:44:02,017
[Janis] Ms. Norbury and
Mr. Duvall got wasted. JK, JK.
2118
01:44:02,191 --> 01:44:04,759
[Damian] Karen discovered
the safe joy
2119
01:44:04,933 --> 01:44:07,893
of dancing with theater boys.[Karen yelps]
2120
01:44:08,067 --> 01:44:11,723
[Janis] And Plastics and Jocks
partied with math nerds.
2121
01:44:11,897 --> 01:44:13,290
[Damian] Janis danced
to a pop song
2122
01:44:13,464 --> 01:44:15,117
and didn'’t burst into flames.
2123
01:44:15,988 --> 01:44:17,816
[Regina] Ow. Ow. Ow!
2124
01:44:17,990 --> 01:44:20,906
[Janis] And everyone else
just kind of floated.
2125
01:44:23,430 --> 01:44:25,650
So the moral
of our story is thus:
2126
01:44:25,824 --> 01:44:28,000
Calling someone stupid
won'’t make you any smarter.
2127
01:44:28,174 --> 01:44:30,045
And even the people
you really don'’t like
2128
01:44:30,219 --> 01:44:32,526
are still people
who just want to coexist.
2129
01:44:32,700 --> 01:44:35,137
So get off their dicks!
2130
01:44:38,358 --> 01:44:40,142
[student] ♪ I see ♪
2131
01:44:40,317 --> 01:44:43,972
[all] ♪ Stars! ♪
2132
01:44:44,146 --> 01:44:46,148
[students cheering]
2133
01:44:46,323 --> 01:44:48,281
["Not My Fault" by Reneé Rapp
& Megan Thee Stallion plays]
2134
01:44:48,455 --> 01:44:49,978
♪ Where she at?
What she doing?♪
2135
01:44:50,152 --> 01:44:51,980
♪ Who she with
And where she from?♪
2136
01:44:52,154 --> 01:44:53,895
♪ Well, she'’s this
Oh, she'’s that ♪
2137
01:44:54,069 --> 01:44:56,202
♪ She'’s a flight risk
On the run ♪
2138
01:44:56,376 --> 01:44:57,986
♪ She'’s back, she'’s back ♪
2139
01:44:58,160 --> 01:44:59,858
♪ Yeah, I'’m back, bitch
Are you done?♪
2140
01:45:00,032 --> 01:45:03,818
♪ Excuse me
While I bite my tongue ♪
2141
01:45:03,992 --> 01:45:07,866
♪ I'’m back on that same shit
From before ♪
2142
01:45:08,040 --> 01:45:11,522
♪ I can'’t take this pettiness
Now I'’m bored ♪
2143
01:45:11,696 --> 01:45:15,787
♪ We can champagne
There'’s enough for us all ♪
2144
01:45:15,961 --> 01:45:18,790
♪ Told you who I am
And what it is
It'’s not my fault ♪
2145
01:45:18,964 --> 01:45:22,837
♪ It'’s not my fault
You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪
2146
01:45:23,011 --> 01:45:26,406
♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’ve got to pay
For what I get for free ♪
2147
01:45:26,580 --> 01:45:28,669
♪ It'’s not my fault ♪
2148
01:45:28,843 --> 01:45:30,628
♪ You'’re like, you'’re like
You'’re like in love with me ♪
2149
01:45:30,802 --> 01:45:32,586
♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’re like in love with me ♪
2150
01:45:32,760 --> 01:45:34,980
♪ You'’re like in love with me ♪
2151
01:45:35,154 --> 01:45:38,549
♪ Get her number, get her name
Get a good thing
While you can ♪
2152
01:45:38,723 --> 01:45:42,857
♪ Kiss a blonde, kiss a friend
Can a gay girl get an amen?♪
2153
01:45:43,031 --> 01:45:46,252
♪ I'’m back on that same shit
From before ♪
2154
01:45:46,426 --> 01:45:50,125
♪ I can'’t take this pettiness
Now I'’m bored ♪
2155
01:45:50,299 --> 01:45:54,216
♪ We can champagne
There'’s enough for us all ♪
2156
01:45:54,391 --> 01:45:56,436
♪ I told you who I am
And what it is ♪
2157
01:45:56,610 --> 01:45:59,004
♪ It'’s not my fault
It'’s not my fault ♪
2158
01:45:59,178 --> 01:46:01,267
♪ You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪
2159
01:46:01,441 --> 01:46:03,138
♪ It'’s not my fault ♪
2160
01:46:03,312 --> 01:46:05,967
♪ You'’ve got to pay
For what I get for free ♪
2161
01:46:06,141 --> 01:46:09,275
♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’re like, you'’re like
You'’re like in love with me ♪
2162
01:46:09,449 --> 01:46:11,756
♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’re like in love with me ♪
2163
01:46:11,930 --> 01:46:13,801
♪ You'’re like in love with me ♪
2164
01:46:13,975 --> 01:46:15,673
♪ I mean, who wouldn'’t want
To be in love with me ♪
2165
01:46:15,847 --> 01:46:17,675
♪ I'’m a mood board
Girls got to Pinterest me ♪
2166
01:46:17,849 --> 01:46:19,720
♪ I'’m a stallion but they come
And f... me like Trojan ♪
2167
01:46:19,894 --> 01:46:22,027
♪ And it wouldn'’t be me
If I ain'’t cause commotion ♪
2168
01:46:22,201 --> 01:46:24,638
♪ I'’m so bad
Dudes thought I was AI
I ballin'’ like AI ♪
2169
01:46:24,812 --> 01:46:27,119
♪ I stick to a whole lot
Of paper like a stapler
Stack like Jenga ♪
2170
01:46:27,293 --> 01:46:29,077
♪ And you basic bitch
Get stroke like a painter ♪
2171
01:46:29,251 --> 01:46:31,210
♪ It'’s funny how the mean girl
Open all the doors ♪
2172
01:46:31,384 --> 01:46:33,081
♪ I'’ve been told y'’all
I'’m the black Regina George ♪
2173
01:46:33,255 --> 01:46:35,040
♪ Bikini top, booty shorts
Megan core ♪
2174
01:46:35,214 --> 01:46:36,824
♪ You was hating back then
Now you finna hate more ♪
2175
01:46:36,998 --> 01:46:38,783
♪ I got influence
They do anything I endorse ♪
2176
01:46:38,957 --> 01:46:41,046
♪ I run s...
To be a bad bitch is a sport ♪
2177
01:46:41,220 --> 01:46:43,744
♪ I woke up hotter
Than I was yesterday ♪
2178
01:46:43,918 --> 01:46:47,792
♪ Don'’t care about no rules
'’Cause I always get my way ♪
2179
01:46:47,966 --> 01:46:49,663
♪ It'’s not my fault ♪
2180
01:46:49,837 --> 01:46:52,187
♪ You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪
2181
01:46:52,361 --> 01:46:55,756
♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’ve got to pay
For what I get for free ♪
2182
01:46:55,930 --> 01:46:59,281
♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’re like, you'’re like
You'’re like in love with me ♪
2183
01:46:59,456 --> 01:47:02,328
♪ It'’s not my fault
You'’re like in love with me ♪
2184
01:47:02,502 --> 01:47:03,764
♪ You'’re like in love with me ♪
2185
01:47:03,938 --> 01:47:06,375
[cheers, applause]
2186
01:47:06,550 --> 01:47:08,595
[Karen] ♪ A sexy Quint
From sexy Jaws ♪
2187
01:47:08,769 --> 01:47:10,467
♪ Catching sexy sharks ♪
2188
01:47:10,641 --> 01:47:13,905
♪ Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt
Or sexy Joan of Arc ♪
2189
01:47:14,079 --> 01:47:17,778
♪ I can be a sexy pirate
Or a sexy ballet dancer ♪
2190
01:47:17,952 --> 01:47:22,217
♪ I can be a sexy doctor
And cure some sexy cancer!♪
2191
01:47:34,316 --> 01:47:36,057
♪ Happy Halloween! ♪
2192
01:47:39,931 --> 01:47:43,282
♪ This is
Modern feminism talkin'’♪
2193
01:47:43,456 --> 01:47:46,851
♪ Watch me as I run the world
In shoes I cannot walk in ♪
2194
01:47:47,025 --> 01:47:50,289
♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
2195
01:47:50,463 --> 01:47:53,858
♪ And sex... sex ♪
2196
01:47:54,032 --> 01:47:58,689
♪ Sexy! ♪
2197
01:47:58,863 --> 01:48:01,039
I'’m a sexy mouse. Duh!
2198
01:48:03,432 --> 01:48:05,565
["Let Me Go" by Nahscha playing]
2199
01:49:56,633 --> 01:49:59,157
["Someone Gets Hurt"
by Reneé Rapp playing]
2200
01:52:00,495 --> 01:52:01,888
You'’re next.
2201
01:52:02,062 --> 01:52:04,412
You could be really hot
if you change, like,
2202
01:52:04,586 --> 01:52:05,849
everything.