1 00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:06,789 ♪ 2 00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,223 [video game blipping] 3 00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:55,098 Ah. So good. [slurps] 4 00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,665 Ollie, have a sip of this coffee. 5 00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,580 It'll make you play faster, better. 6 00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:01,235 Eh, coffee gives you doo-doo breath. 7 00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:02,801 Debbie, why so down in the dumps? 8 00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,586 You're usually on your third beer 9 00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:05,978 after your third appetizer. 10 00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:08,285 This weekend is the death day anniversary 11 00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:11,680 of her mama... aka "Mama." 12 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:14,465 Wait, you don't have your mother living and working 13 00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:15,945 with you all the time? 14 00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:18,252 Is it great? 15 00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,602 Well, uh, everyone, you know, says 16 00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:22,647 Mama was some kind of saint. [laughs] 17 00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:24,432 I mean, I didn't see her that way, 18 00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,782 but Daddie's still faithful to her. 19 00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:30,046 Deb's mom was Miss Arkansas for a solid decade. 20 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,570 Tell Gwen about the deathbed wish. 21 00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:35,617 -Deathbed wish? -It's stupid! 22 00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,880 Every year on Mama's death day, 23 00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,970 my sister and dad and me are supposed to travel 24 00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:42,624 to Mama's hometown, and on the way 25 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,495 we're supposed to each eat a whole barbecued chicken, 26 00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,149 a whole huckleberry pie, and then wash it down 27 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,673 with a whole liter of whole milk; each of us! 28 00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:53,461 It's a mandatory annual family ritual, 29 00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,027 which Debbie ignores. 30 00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:59,031 My sister and dad go every year. I don't get that. 31 00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:00,946 Or them, frankly, at all. 32 00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:04,385 -So I've never gone. -No, not good, no. 33 00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:07,214 You must. It bring the living together. 34 00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:08,998 Whoa, Grandma Dang. [scoffs] 35 00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:11,653 I liked it better when you were a woman of few words. 36 00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:14,960 Well, it is the 25th anniversary. 37 00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:19,182 Wait. You all think I should go on this trip 38 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:22,098 with my nemesis sister and my disapproving dad 39 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,231 to worship my long-dead, unknowable, 40 00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:25,623 narcissistic mother? 41 00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,018 Mm. 42 00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:30,846 -[entry bells jingle] -Hey, guys. 43 00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:32,848 Buck Mastiff, the celebrated author 44 00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:35,372 of Bitch by the Sea, he's doing a reading. 45 00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:36,895 So... [chuckles] 46 00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,767 Freddie wants to get a shitty book signed 47 00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,464 by its shitty author. 48 00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:43,206 Well, sorry if books are just over your stupid head, Tonya. 49 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,165 All right, guys, let's go. 50 00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:48,646 "So she felt about the sea. 51 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,822 "She felt with her bosom. 52 00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:53,782 She was angry. She was the bitch." 53 00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:56,654 -[soft applause] -Oh, my God, yeah. 54 00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:59,135 -Yeah. -Ugh! 55 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,920 Thank you. Thanks. Also, great news. 56 00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:03,966 My new sequel to Bitch drops this summer. 57 00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:07,578 It's titled Windswept Dick. Yeah. 58 00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:09,014 Whoo! 59 00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:12,235 Commercial fiction is only about the money. 60 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:13,584 Never about the art. 61 00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:15,673 Gregpeck Blinko, you're the literary critic. 62 00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,284 What do you think? 63 00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:20,243 Great literature isn't some escape or entertainment. 64 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:23,551 It's a spell. It's-it's an incantation. 65 00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:26,293 It's beyond characters and plot. 66 00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:28,251 [grunting] 67 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,775 True lit makes the reader solve the riddle 68 00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:32,299 of their own life and death. 69 00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:35,171 Oh, I was just about to say the exact same thing. 70 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,781 I mean... 71 00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:40,089 Yes. Take this drivel, for example, Bitch by the Sea. 72 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:42,134 It's just not lit. 73 00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,745 Oh, I know. Such drivel. 74 00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:46,182 You know, driveling is what it is. [weak chuckle] 75 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,446 Still, Bitch by the Sea knows its place 76 00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,143 as nothing more than a beach read. 77 00:03:51,187 --> 00:03:54,799 No, it's not like it's trying to be The Killing Bush 78 00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:55,974 or something. 79 00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:59,151 Yes. The Killing Bush is awesome. 80 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:01,153 Oh, you've read it? 81 00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:03,982 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sure. 82 00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:06,637 Well, I haven't read it. It's just too inaccessible, 83 00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:09,336 -even for me. -Eh, it's impossible. 84 00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:10,815 It's impenetrable. 85 00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:13,078 It's rare to find someone with a scholarly background 86 00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,906 deep enough to wade through the depth 87 00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:16,299 of The Killing Bush. 88 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,214 Although I've read the book many times, 89 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,998 me being its primary critic, 90 00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:21,913 I still long to know its true meeting. 91 00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:23,001 Good luck with that. 92 00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:25,787 The author is notoriously reclusive. 93 00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:28,442 Oh, Dear Dr. Morocco, don't you know I know that? 94 00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:30,226 Still, Gbenge, 95 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,795 where have you been hiding this charming man? 96 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:37,320 We two literary adventurers should set aside time 97 00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,061 to discuss The Killing Bush. 98 00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:40,192 Huh. 99 00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:43,413 Yay! [groans] 100 00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:46,155 FREDDIE: This crappy book is insane! 101 00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:47,374 [Debbie laughs] 102 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,550 Oh, you laugh, but it's impossible. 103 00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:51,160 I mean, it demands the reader know about 104 00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:52,640 ancient Egyptians, 105 00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:55,425 and a hell of a lot about shrubbery, for some reason. 106 00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:56,818 You could just fess up. 107 00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:58,341 But if I make the lie real, 108 00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,864 then everything will be okay, right? 109 00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:02,345 I'll be friends with Gbenge and those cool people. 110 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:05,174 Meanwhile, in my life, I am dreading this trip 111 00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,741 with my dad and Brenna. 112 00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:08,830 Look, babe, what if... I don't know, 113 00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:10,658 you try to get to know 'em. 114 00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:14,009 No. It's not about them. 115 00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:16,359 It's about Mama. 116 00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,883 I just happen to remember her 117 00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,450 way differently than everyone else. 118 00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:22,017 Yeah, you're right. Yeah. 119 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:25,020 You should probably go in with your mind closed, babe. 120 00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:27,370 [Freddie mutters] 121 00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:30,373 Well, well, well, 122 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:33,681 the prodigal daughter finally joins us. 123 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:39,643 Deb, you look very fall for April. 124 00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,645 You look very asshole for today. 125 00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,778 Debbie, don't come causing trouble. 126 00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:46,215 It's time again to honor your mother 127 00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:48,260 with this annual road trip 128 00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:51,525 across the natural state of Arkansas. 129 00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:52,352 Yeehaw! 130 00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:04,755 First up on Mama's death request travel menu: 131 00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:06,931 the whole chicken. 132 00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:08,455 You remember coming here when we was on Mama's 133 00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,631 beauty pageant circuit across the state? 134 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:13,764 -[stomach gurgles] -Oh. Gotta shit. 135 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,594 [sighs] 136 00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:20,554 ♪ 137 00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:22,120 [laughing] 138 00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:30,215 Put the cap on the spark plug, turn the key. 139 00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,914 -Whoa. -Spins and fires a spark, boom. 140 00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:35,090 Wow. 141 00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:37,527 -Mama, look. -Not now, Little Debbie. 142 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,877 That's Daddie stuff. Shoo. 143 00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:43,881 -Aw... -Ha ha. 144 00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:46,318 Mmm. 145 00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:48,582 [slurping] 146 00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:53,151 Damn, that chicken is good. 147 00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:56,067 -[phone vibrating] -Oop. Excuse me, girls. 148 00:06:57,155 --> 00:07:00,681 -Wonder who's calling Daddie. -Wonder where your chicken is. 149 00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:03,466 I've actually already eaten my chicken 150 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:04,989 while Daddie was in the bathroom, 151 00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:09,211 and you were in your weird and long reverie. 152 00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:13,650 I-I don't understand this. 153 00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:16,174 Dad, I'm so focused it's insane. 154 00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:18,438 Look, do me a favor and drink some water, okay? 155 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,875 I can focus because I'm off water. 156 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,442 Hydration test. 157 00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:25,488 See, you're dehydrated. Go drink. 158 00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:28,665 Dad, I need some cash for more Vietnamese coffee. 159 00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:29,971 I'm better with it. I'm only me with it. 160 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,276 I'm only whole with it. 161 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,061 Kids, I'm trying to read! 162 00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:35,106 I'm supposed to meet up with Gregpeck Blinko and Gbenge 163 00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:36,934 -on Sunday to discuss it. -[door opens] 164 00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:38,458 I got to focus, okay? 165 00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:39,850 [gasps] Tonya! 166 00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,722 Oh, my God. What if I weren't dressed? 167 00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,114 I need to borrow Debbie's chugging funnel. 168 00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:45,465 What's that? Can I drink coffee with it? 169 00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:46,944 Sure, kid, whatever. 170 00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:48,772 It's your mom's favorite invention of hers. 171 00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:50,948 Well, you don't know Debbie like I do, 172 00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,255 because she's long since thrown that thing out. 173 00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:55,692 -Now, look, I gotta read. -Found it. 174 00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:57,302 I knew she'd stash it. 175 00:07:57,346 --> 00:08:00,958 Yeah, um, she and I are the real partners here. 176 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:04,309 Oh, really? Okay, so what's Ollie's middle name? 177 00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:05,485 Who is Ollie? 178 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,791 Our kid, you self-absorbed drunk. 179 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:10,707 Trick question. Her name is Hobby. 180 00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:13,580 Hiss! I don't need the sexually rampant, 181 00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,669 drunken veterinarian searching my house 182 00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:17,845 for addiction devices. [hisses] 183 00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:19,890 I got reading to do. 184 00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,283 All right, kids, look. 185 00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:23,067 I gotta make my lie about reading this book true 186 00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:26,288 by maybe telling a few more little lies, okay? 187 00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:34,035 Step two: the huckleberry pie. 188 00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:37,560 This is for you, Mama, my one and only. 189 00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:43,523 Um, I think I'm gonna take mine outside, 190 00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,176 or eat it in the car. 191 00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:48,702 Aha! I knew you've been lying about eating all this shit. 192 00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:50,051 [gasps] 193 00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:53,489 Have you been faking it all these years?! 194 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,231 Ugh, you're ruining this trip on purpose 195 00:08:56,274 --> 00:09:00,017 to prove the point that deathbed wishes are bad. 196 00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:03,847 -Shame on... -Get... to eating. 197 00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:05,675 Get out of my face. 198 00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:08,809 Girls. Girls, stop! Stop it. 199 00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:11,115 This is supposed to be a sacred time 200 00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:12,987 to honor your perfect mother. 201 00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:17,557 Cow! Cow! Cow! Cow! Cow! Cow! 202 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,211 -[all screaming] -[tires screeching] 203 00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:24,781 -Oh. Huh. -[panting] 204 00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,348 Is everybody okay? 205 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:28,524 Who the hell have you been texting and calling 206 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,831 this whole trip? [grunts] 207 00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,920 Oh, my God, who is this 208 00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:35,357 ancient hussy sending you nudes? 209 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,967 What on earth? 210 00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:38,752 That's private. Give me that. 211 00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,231 Give me that. 212 00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,799 How long has this been going on? 213 00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,932 I said it's private. 214 00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:52,243 So this is the home of the author 215 00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,636 of your unreadable book? 216 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,291 Ollie, you gotta drink some water, baby. 217 00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,249 And his name is Roderick Downship. 218 00:09:58,293 --> 00:10:01,775 Dad, your sad little plan has some serious holes in it. 219 00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:04,038 It'll work, Mr. Stickler. 220 00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,389 [doorbell rings] 221 00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:10,174 Go away. No interviews, thank you. 222 00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:12,873 Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm from the cemetery. 223 00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,526 There's a problem with your plot, 224 00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,920 the one you reserved for yourself. Mm-hmm. 225 00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:18,052 Oh? 226 00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:19,444 Yes, I'm afraid. 227 00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,359 Your plot has accidentally been used 228 00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,753 to perma-plant the bones of all the Kennedys. 229 00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:26,582 Oh, no, no. That will not do. 230 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:30,020 Come in. Come in and we can, we can discuss this. 231 00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:32,414 Okay, Mr. Downship, I-I lied. 232 00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:34,503 I-I need to know why you wrote The Killing Bush 233 00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,200 and what it means. Please! 234 00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:38,420 [groans] Out you go. 235 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:40,770 I don't mess with groupies. 236 00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:43,207 Wait, no, uh, people will die 237 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:44,731 if you don't give me an explanation 238 00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:46,341 of your mysterious masterpiece. 239 00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:50,040 Listen, uh... it's literary terrorists! 240 00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,086 Not those. 241 00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:54,784 They got to Pynchon. They got to Salinger. 242 00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:57,613 So far, I've been lucky. 243 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,528 Right. Exactly. Yes. 244 00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,225 So those same terrorists that fucked 245 00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,966 those pals that you just mentioned, 246 00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,968 they're holding my family captive. 247 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:07,101 -No. -Yes. They made me 248 00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:08,493 get a meeting with you, sir, 249 00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:10,757 -the ventilated... -Venerated. 250 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,367 ...author of The Killing Bush. 251 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:13,760 If you tell me what the book means, 252 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,936 then I-I can go free my family. 253 00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:19,330 Hmm. I will help you. 254 00:11:19,374 --> 00:11:21,115 -But in person. -[gasps] 255 00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:23,291 I demand to be taken to those terrorists 256 00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:25,162 so that I can do the honorable thing: 257 00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:28,600 trade myself and my secret of The Killing Bush 258 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:30,559 for your family. 259 00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:33,040 Yes, yes, yes. 260 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:36,130 Okay, great, but-- smallest caveat-- 261 00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:39,350 give me an hour, and then come by my house, okay? 262 00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:45,313 We have the whole milk 263 00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:48,316 with the hint of Bermuda grass and dandelion. 264 00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:49,883 -Enjoy. -Brenna... 265 00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:53,408 I know you're not doing these food promises to Mama. 266 00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:58,587 And I know you're only here to ruin this for me and Daddie. 267 00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:00,502 Drink it, Bren. 268 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,898 See, Debbie? She... 269 00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:07,901 [gags] 270 00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:10,033 -[whimpering] -[server gasps] 271 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:13,471 Fine! It's true, all right? 272 00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:16,910 I've always faked eating all of Mama's deathbed requests. 273 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,694 It's just too much. 274 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,784 I want to stay thin, like Mama. 275 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,178 I knew it! [scoffs] 276 00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:27,355 You have always tried to be just like Mama 277 00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:29,879 so you could steal Daddie away from me. 278 00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:32,969 I never really even had Mama's love, Brenna. 279 00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,971 I only had Daddie's, and then you started being 280 00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,712 just like Mama after she died, 281 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:40,760 so then you got both their love, and I got nothing! 282 00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:45,547 You stole Daddie, and I hate you for it! 283 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,201 [sobbing] 284 00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,638 [all gasp] 285 00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:54,382 If that is how you planned it to go, 286 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:57,080 then you are a horrible person. 287 00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:07,395 Oh, my God, here she comes, finally. 288 00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:08,962 Remember, show submissiveness. 289 00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,615 Let Tonya feel superior. 290 00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:13,836 [raspy voice]: Just be nice and cool and honest. 291 00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:17,622 All right, what's all this about, shithead? 292 00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:21,583 Well, Tonya, I need you to pretend to be 293 00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:23,715 a literary terrorist that's holding my family hostage 294 00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:26,370 so that an elderly nut-bar author 295 00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,416 can mutter to you his secret motives and meanings 296 00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:30,897 behind his insane book so that you can then 297 00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:34,422 tell me what he said so that I can then tell 298 00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:37,033 a very cool critic so that I can look smart, 299 00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,339 and he will be my friend, 300 00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:40,689 along with the other snobby people 301 00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,125 that hang around with Gbenge, 302 00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:44,911 who is the real person I'm trying to impress 303 00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:47,043 because he's smart and cool. 304 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:51,134 [laughing] 305 00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:59,621 Oh, ho, ho, goddamn. 306 00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:02,537 Why should I help you do all that? 307 00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:04,147 I knew you'd be a shit about this, 308 00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:05,932 you sex-addicted booze hound. 309 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,324 Let me tell you something, Freddie. 310 00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,630 I have two advanced degrees, 311 00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,458 and I am the top vet in this town. 312 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,939 Am I a confident, intelligent, sexually progressive woman? 313 00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:14,897 Of course. Have I dated across the spectrum 314 00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,160 because I have no interest in your lockdown married life? 315 00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:18,727 Sure. Am I also a mess? 316 00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:19,771 Abso-fucking-lutely. 317 00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:23,906 But stop reducing me to my parts. 318 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,387 Okay, deal. I'll do that, 319 00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:27,518 and I won't get in the way 320 00:14:27,562 --> 00:14:29,216 of you and Debbie's friend-shit. Ship! 321 00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,915 [laughter] 322 00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,743 Hi. 323 00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:36,266 Hey there, Daddie Dan. 324 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,834 -Here we go, hey. -Oh, my gosh. 325 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,228 It's noon. We gotta start. 326 00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:44,884 Just like my sister, your Mama, used to like. 327 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,367 A little here. A little... 328 00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:52,892 -Okay, looks good. -Freddie, 329 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,198 -Hobby looks dry, man. -[Ollie moans] 330 00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:57,548 Okay, okay, here he comes. All right, remember 331 00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:58,898 anything the author says. 332 00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,946 I demand you let these people go 333 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:07,689 in trade for me and my secrets. Deal? 334 00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:10,083 Oh, tough guy, huh? 335 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:11,736 We'll see about that 336 00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,348 -after I torture the shit... -Uh, pardon me. 337 00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:16,480 Uh, terrorist, you said you only wanted 338 00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:19,570 the secret meaning of The Killing Bush,right? 339 00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:21,616 Oh, yes, that's right. 340 00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:22,834 That's why I did all this. 341 00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,706 Okay, so tell me now. 342 00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:28,405 I will, but in private. 343 00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:39,808 Now we'd love to hear any testimonials 344 00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:42,593 for the wonderful-- pardon me for tearing up-- 345 00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:46,032 the perfect, the sweetest of all sweeteners, 346 00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:48,164 Mama McCallister. 347 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:51,515 Your mama was a warm, regal, confident woman 348 00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:56,042 who possessed a rare, reassuring calm. A goddess. 349 00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:59,088 Yes, indeed. She was a saint of a mama. 350 00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:01,090 Your mama spoke her mind, 351 00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:04,311 but she was kind and sweet; a miracle. 352 00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:07,662 Mama knew exactly what to say and what to do 353 00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:09,577 to get what she wanted. 354 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,057 Like you, Brenna. 355 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,015 [others crying] 356 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,713 You know, I, uh... 357 00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:18,760 I guess I do miss Mama. 358 00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:23,069 I recall her being self-absorbed, demanding, 359 00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:25,071 and not at all warm and fuzzy. 360 00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:26,898 [all gasp] 361 00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,378 Whoa, whoa, it takes dedication 362 00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:30,032 to be a beauty queen. You gotta... 363 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:32,513 I'm sorry. I know you all don't agree, 364 00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:36,821 but that's my truth, and I had to say it. 365 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:40,086 She made fun of me all the time. 366 00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:41,522 She was feared by all of us 367 00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:44,264 because she was the alpha female, and mean. 368 00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:47,354 She was a bitch. Competitive. Narcissistic. 369 00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:48,659 Driven! 370 00:16:48,703 --> 00:16:50,183 Thank you, thank you, Aunt Sadness. 371 00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:55,101 Your mama used to say, "Turn heads, not stomachs." 372 00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:57,538 She made us all eat fattening stuff in front of her 373 00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:58,582 so she could watch. 374 00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,671 She only ate carrots. 375 00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:03,848 Yes. Yes! Mom did do that. 376 00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:06,851 -[laughter] -[others agreeing] 377 00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:09,245 Wow. It wasn't just me? 378 00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:11,421 You all had the same experiences 379 00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:12,727 with Mama that I did? 380 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:15,164 -Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm. 381 00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,471 Oh, I... 382 00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:20,039 I guess I'm not as much of an outsider 383 00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:22,171 to this family as I thought. 384 00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:25,174 And I guess I have a lot more in common with Mama 385 00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:28,917 than I'd care to admit. Oof. Damn. 386 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,962 [clears throat] Okay, here it comes. 387 00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:32,921 Um... Shit! 388 00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:36,620 Bren, Daddie, I see now that this whole thing 389 00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:38,187 is not about Mama. 390 00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:41,016 Nope. It's about us, guys. 391 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,629 She knew it would bring us and keep us together. 392 00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:49,894 So get a glass. Get one! Okay. 393 00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:52,027 -To Mama! -To Mama. 394 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,812 -Cheers. -Long live Mama. 395 00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:57,250 Hold still. 396 00:17:57,293 --> 00:18:00,079 -Drink it. Drink it! -No! 397 00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,342 I'm smarter undiluted. 398 00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,213 [gasps] Did he explain the book? 399 00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:06,955 Yeah. He was just a dirty old man. 400 00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:09,784 I mean, he just kept describing 401 00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,177 what he thought my bush looked like. 402 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:13,614 He kept saying how he wanted to be buried in it, 403 00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:16,878 -like a pharaoh in a pyramid. -Ugh. 404 00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:18,532 He muttered that shit over and over, 405 00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:19,837 saying that that's the secret truth 406 00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:20,969 he wanted to get across in the book. 407 00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:22,492 Whoa, let me get this straight. 408 00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,755 Were you showing him your privates? 409 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:29,456 No. But he did die saying, "Pussy." 410 00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:31,414 What?! He died?! 411 00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:32,546 -[panting] -[chuckles] 412 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:34,156 It's so fun to watch your dad sweat. 413 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,594 Right, Hobby? Tosh. 414 00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,295 Sorry for... 415 00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:45,776 maybe ruining your trip. 416 00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:48,214 No, I apologize. 417 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:49,432 After Mama died, 418 00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:51,739 I did gravitate to Brenna, 419 00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:55,046 because she reminded me so much of Mama. 420 00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:58,572 And as you grew, you became more and more like me, 421 00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:02,706 -which I didn't like. -[sighs] 422 00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,752 You didn't like me. 423 00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,797 No, silly, I love you. 424 00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:09,931 I didn't want to be reminded of me. 425 00:19:09,974 --> 00:19:14,588 I felt bad for moving on with my life with other women. 426 00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:17,243 So I-I kept it from y'all, and I just... 427 00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:20,463 Yeah, yeah, I get that, Daddie. 428 00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:23,379 I love you, too. It's okay. 429 00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:26,730 So come on, tell me. What about this new woman? 430 00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:30,778 Oh. We met in the john. She's a cougar. 431 00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:33,433 She's got melons, and we both like to camp. 432 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:36,610 Well, text her some gross shit. 433 00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:38,220 I'm gonna go make up with Brenna. 434 00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:40,135 BRENNA: Why? What's the matter? 435 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,529 Still got sand in your satchel? 436 00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:45,184 Brenna, I went too far with what I said at the dairy. 437 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:48,883 And I didn't even mean what I said. I'm sorry. 438 00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:51,059 You did mean some of it. 439 00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:53,844 I say we share the big old fart. 440 00:19:53,888 --> 00:19:55,324 Right? 441 00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:57,718 [gasps] You know what? 442 00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,981 I see now that Mama had us eat 443 00:20:00,024 --> 00:20:01,548 because she wouldn't. 444 00:20:01,591 --> 00:20:03,550 She was always trying to stay fit 445 00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:04,899 for her beauty contests, 446 00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:06,205 which meant more to her than anything. 447 00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,598 Even us, sometimes. 448 00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:10,861 And she was competitive with us. 449 00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:12,689 So she was trying to keep us fat, 450 00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:14,082 even after she was dead. 451 00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:18,391 Wow. You might actually be right. 452 00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:20,349 I guess you can't ever really know 453 00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:23,222 why people do what they do. Right? 454 00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:25,093 Yeah, but-- huh?-- 455 00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:28,444 we can get closer, like we did on this trip. 456 00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:30,054 You can't shortcut a hard book, 457 00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:31,708 and you can't shortcut hard relationships. 458 00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:33,275 [blows raspberry] 459 00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:35,712 It's like we were all each other's Killing Bush. 460 00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:38,411 -What? -What? 461 00:20:41,979 --> 00:20:44,068 Another dead body at this house? 462 00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:46,636 Oh, my God, it's Roderick Downship. 463 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,725 Frederick, you knew him? 464 00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,292 Oh, of course Freddie knew him. 465 00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:52,120 Roderick was his English tutor. 466 00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:53,991 They were planning to surprise you. 467 00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:56,472 Ah, yes, yes, that's true, but alas, 468 00:20:56,516 --> 00:20:59,258 Father Time struck again, you know. [chuckles] 469 00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:01,738 The greatest author of the greatest book just died 470 00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:03,131 in this very house. 471 00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:04,654 And I was his greatest critic. 472 00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:07,744 I demand to know the secret of the book. 473 00:21:07,788 --> 00:21:11,182 Well, The Killing Bush is a metaphor 474 00:21:11,226 --> 00:21:13,402 for a vagina, 475 00:21:13,446 --> 00:21:14,664 which is the cradle of life, 476 00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:16,927 like the place of the birth of civilization. 477 00:21:16,971 --> 00:21:20,670 Which is the Fertile Crescent and ancient Egypt. 478 00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:23,325 It's like how a baby's head is held in the cervix, 479 00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:26,328 formed in the cervix, and how the head of the penis 480 00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:29,418 returns over and over through the bushy 481 00:21:29,462 --> 00:21:31,725 vagina of life... 482 00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:34,205 is The Killing Bush. 483 00:21:34,249 --> 00:21:38,209 [crying] 484 00:21:38,253 --> 00:21:39,994 [laughing] 485 00:21:40,037 --> 00:21:44,433 I now die of enlightenment. 486 00:21:44,477 --> 00:21:45,869 [gurgles] 487 00:21:45,913 --> 00:21:49,046 Oh, shit. 488 00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:51,353 Yeah, I should have known we'd need a second ambulance 489 00:21:51,397 --> 00:21:52,528 at the Harper House. 490 00:21:52,572 --> 00:21:54,443 Man, oh, man. 491 00:21:54,487 --> 00:21:56,532 Hey, so maybe you and I can grab a beer 492 00:21:56,576 --> 00:21:57,881 and hang, you know. 493 00:21:57,925 --> 00:22:00,144 Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. 494 00:22:00,188 --> 00:22:03,147 -Wow. -All right, I'm out. 495 00:22:03,191 --> 00:22:05,062 I'm Tonya. This is the guy 496 00:22:05,106 --> 00:22:06,890 you wanted to impress so bad that you had me 497 00:22:06,934 --> 00:22:08,501 and your kids lie for you 498 00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:09,893 about you having read that book? 499 00:22:09,937 --> 00:22:13,375 Next time you men do a book club, call me. 500 00:22:13,419 --> 00:22:15,638 I did one of my dissertations on The Killing Bush 501 00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:19,903 and hostile POVs towards women in postmodern meta-fiction. 502 00:22:22,036 --> 00:22:26,257 Ha, that Tonya, she's-- I'm sorry. 503 00:22:30,914 --> 00:22:33,003 Yes! Kids! Freddie! 504 00:22:33,047 --> 00:22:35,397 -Yes. -Family! Mmm. 505 00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:38,792 -[mumbling gibberish] -Hey... 506 00:22:38,835 --> 00:22:41,055 [grunts] I missed you. 507 00:22:41,098 --> 00:22:42,491 Dad teamed up with Tonya, 508 00:22:42,535 --> 00:22:45,102 and they killed two men while you were gone. 509 00:22:45,146 --> 00:22:46,930 Gotcha. Skeletons still here? 510 00:22:46,974 --> 00:22:49,716 No. Got the morgue on speed dial. Yeah. 511 00:22:49,759 --> 00:22:51,152 Uh-huh. Cool. Wait. 512 00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:53,284 Wait, wait, wait, you partnered up with Tonya? 513 00:22:53,328 --> 00:22:54,285 My Tonya? 514 00:22:54,329 --> 00:22:56,244 We learned a lot about each other. 515 00:22:56,287 --> 00:22:58,899 Okay... 516 00:22:58,942 --> 00:23:00,944 Okay. All right. 517 00:23:00,988 --> 00:23:03,773 Oh, Ollie, you gotta hydrate, honey. 518 00:23:03,817 --> 00:23:04,774 Nope. 519 00:23:04,818 --> 00:23:06,210 Dude, you got doo-doo breath 520 00:23:06,254 --> 00:23:07,516 from getting too dry. 521 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:09,388 What? I can't have that. 522 00:23:11,346 --> 00:23:14,393 [normal voice]: Oh, Mom, you know just what to say. 523 00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:15,785 Oh, boy. 524 00:23:15,829 --> 00:23:17,221 Todd, you also have doo-doo breath 525 00:23:17,265 --> 00:23:18,745 from all that coffee. Ugh. 526 00:23:18,788 --> 00:23:21,791 Look, I got some caffeine patches from a truck stop. 527 00:23:21,835 --> 00:23:22,836 That should help wean you off. 528 00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:25,795 Oh, yes. 529 00:23:25,839 --> 00:23:29,886 And, Freddie, you get... 530 00:23:29,930 --> 00:23:31,714 [moans] 531 00:23:31,758 --> 00:23:33,847 ...in that kitchen, please, and fix me something to eat. 532 00:23:33,890 --> 00:23:35,152 I'm dying. 533 00:23:35,196 --> 00:23:38,199 Sounds great, babe. Back to normal. 534 00:23:39,026 --> 00:23:41,245 ♪ 535 00:23:47,338 --> 00:23:50,429 Good. I'm still the beauty of the family. 536 00:24:29,903 --> 00:24:30,469 Chirp.