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♪
2
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[Sazz Pataki]
Stunt people always fall.
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But the trick is you get up
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and make sure you don't become dust.
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Sazz...
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[Detective Donna Williams]
The shooter, very good.
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A single .300 Win Mag casing was found
in the West Tower
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in apartment 14F, belonging to a tenant
by the name of M. Dudenoff,
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retired professor, who the neighbors
are conveniently saying
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he's not in town. He's in Portugal.
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Neighbors are busy playing card games
when they hear the gunshot.
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- What, I achieved?
- [Inez] Yes!
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I think that earns you
a trip to the bathroom.
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- Is that a person?
- Don't be ridiculous. It's a ham.
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No, no, no, no. This movie has to happen.
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It's the only way I can
keep up with my sexy,
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- successful girlfriend.
- Hi!
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Loretta, will you...
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Will what? Would I what?
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- You don't believe Dudenoff's in Portugal?
- I'm not convinced.
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Well, he's not gonna
be happy you're here.
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I'm counting on it.
If he finds out I'm squatting here,
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he'll have to show his face
to kick me out.
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[Oliver Putnam]
Did one of them kill Sazz?
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[Mabel Mora]
We're gonna find out.
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I kept a very detailed ham radio journal.
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A person came on the line and said,
"Meet me at 445."
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- Who is Dudenoff?
- [speaker] [on radio] The last person
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who came around asking
these questions got killed.
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- [echoing whistling]
- [dry leaves rustling]
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[speaker with Irish accent]
A movie set is filled with egomaniacs.
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- [whistling continues]
- [rustling continues]
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- [thunder rumbling]
- [birds chirping]
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- But a good stunt double...
- [Charles-Haden Savage] Sazz!
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[speaker] ...must set the ego aside
and just be a maniac.
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[echoing]
Hey, wait up!
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[♪ tense music playing]
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Sazz?
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[speaker] Risking life and limb
to make their actor look good.
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Where are we going?!
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[leaves rustle]
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[distorted, echoing]
Paradise...
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[♪ tense crescendo]
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[gun cocking, firing]
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- [echoing gunshot fades away]
- [gasps]
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- [♪ gentle piano music playing]
- [sighs]
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[speaker] For the stunt double,
their actor is number one.
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For the actor? Well,
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it's not always so clear.
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Alright, I've been up since 3:00 working.
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Well, not working the whole time.
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I spent two hours looking
for an all-night Staples,
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but then, I built this.
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[sing-songy]
♪ Ta-da ♪
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A second murder board.
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You dragged me outta bed for this?
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Most working adults are up by 8:00 a.m.
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Yes, but, like, farmers.
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Look, if we're gonna take
Sazz seriously as a target,
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she deserves her own board.
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The voice on the radio
says that Sazz was killed
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because she was asking
questions about the West Tower,
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and Sazz was a ham radio hobbyist.
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Hm. I like it.
Could be a good hook for the podcast.
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This season, we're not just
searching for the killer.
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We're searching for the victim, too.
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Oliver, do you wanna record that?
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Just gimme 10 minutes.
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- [Oliver snores]
- What's "Paradise"?
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Uh-- Nothing. It's just--
It's just something someone told me.
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Who?
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Sazz.
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When?
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Last night. In my dream.
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Ask him if he can draw a clock.
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If he can't draw a clock,
it's Alzheimer's.
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Look, forget about this.
This is not important.
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The point is, if Sazz was the target,
we need to fill in the blanks of her life.
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Now, obviously, she and I were very close.
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We shared everything.
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Two girlfriends, a signature look,
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and a blood type so rare,
it's in the Red Cross Hall of Fame,
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but she never told me
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why she was asking questions
about the West Tower.
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Well, I've hit a dead end there.
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The voice on the radio has gone silent,
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and the Westies have been freezing me out
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since I started squatting.
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[♪ soft mysterious music playing]
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[blinds rattle]
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What is Vince doing in his underwear
with that animal leg?
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If they're not a cult,
they're definitely cult-adjacent.
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Oh. That's a Portuguese flag.
Or as the Portuguese call it,
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Bandeira das Quinas.
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I'd recognize that bi-colored rectangle
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with the green on the hoist
and the red on the fly anywhere.
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Oliver, you wanna come see the--
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Oliver, why are you so sleepy?
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I don't know.
Usually, your riveting flag facts
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are like a shot of adrenaline.
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[yawns] I barely slept last night.
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Loretta called me, as usual,
after she wrapped on set,
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and we had a, you know, a nice chat.
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A little shorter than usual.
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And then, she had to run.
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And then, I took the teeniest tumble
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into a deep, dark pit of despair.
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- [slams down mug]
- Look.
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I have never seen Instagram that big.
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I didn't know Loretta was on there.
I should follow her.
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Her feed is a cornucopia of charming,
sunny Hollywood content.
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But notice this intruder.
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- It's an arm.
- Yeah, a male arm!
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A taut, rippling arm!
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And I don't trust its intentions!
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It's in 11 of her last 14 pictures here.
I mean, i-it...
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She is spending
78% of her documented time
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with this mystery himbo,
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and there's no way
I can find out who he is.
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- You could ask her.
- Ask her?
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And drive her into this
strong, supportive arm?
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No, that's a one-way ticket to Cuck City,
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population: Putnam!
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Hey, Charles.
Sazz was one of Loretta's followers.
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[Charles]
Sazz was on Instagram?
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Yeah. She posted from this place
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called Concussions the day she died.
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What's Concussions?
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Concussions. It's a stuntman bar.
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"This New York institution
caters to the lunatics
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"who take a beating,
so your favorite celebs don't have to.
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Open to the public since
the Civil Rights Act of 1964."
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Well, we should go there.
Maybe somebody'll know
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why Sazz was asking questions
about the West Tower.
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Oh, they have trivia on Thursday!
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Jesus, turn your brightness down!
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I feel like I just looked
right into an eclipse.
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Oh, right...
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[shouting]
Brightness, down!
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T-Tablet, brightness down!
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Down, brightness!
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- Susie, brightness down!
- [♪ lively theme music playing]
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[♪ vocalizing]
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[theme music fades out]
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- [door opens]
- [Hammy Faye Bakker oinks]
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[Mabel]
Howard, thanks for watching the apartment.
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And the pig.
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{\an8}- We cuddled like King Charles and Camilla.
- [Hammy oinks]
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{\an8}What is up with this bed anyway?
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{\an8}It was a regift from Eva Longoria.
She said she didn't need two.
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{\an8}Well, climb in.
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{\an8}We can use this time
to work on my podcast.
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{\an8}Animal Jobs? You know,
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{\an8}the podcast about animals and their jobs.
[chuckles]
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{\an8}- [phone beeps]
- [on recording] Welcome to Animal Jobs,
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{\an8}the podcast about animals and their jobs.
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{\an8}I'm here with Henry,
the Central Park Clydesdale.
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{\an8}- [Henry neighing]
- [Howard laughs]
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{\an8}You won't believe what else he has to say.
I have incredible audio.
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All I need from you is to learn
how to edit, score, mix, and post it.
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{\an8}I'm sorry, I don't have time
to teach Podcasting 101 right now.
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{\an8}What do you mean?
You're squatting and can't leave.
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{\an8}You're trapped with me. In a fun way.
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{\an8}I-- Someone can't leave.
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{\an8}I need someone here
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{\an8}in case Dudenoff shows up
and kicks me out. I--
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{\an8}Sorry, I have to follow a lead.
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{\an8}- It's always about the case with you.
- [Hammy snorts]
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{\an8}It's like you don't care
about Animal Jobs at all.
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No! No, no, no,
it's just those guys need me,
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and you... are... such a self-starter.
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No, I'm not.
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- I'm a sad boy who hates being alone.
- [Hammy squeals]
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- Look at me. I'm in bed with a pig.
- [Hammy grunting]
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You're right where you're
supposed to be. I promise.
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Just please don't leave
until I come back.
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Please? Thank you.
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Thank you for the pig. Bye, Hammy.
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[door opens, shuts]
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- Bye.
- [elevator dings]
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[Charles] Now, before we get to this bar,
a word of warning.
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Stuntmen are not like us.
They can be insular and provincial.
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Have you ever been to Hell's Kitchen?
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Yeah, I've eaten at Oliver's. [laughs]
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I, for one, love getting out
and seeing the real New York.
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[with Midwestern accent] "The humblest
hovels house the happiest hearts."
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[normal]
As Ronnie would say.
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- What?
- Who's Ronnie?
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Oh, Ronnie's short for Veronica,
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the feisty grandma from Joliet, Illinois,
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who loves crafting, Merlot,
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and the power of positive thinking.
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- She's my Finsta.
- Oh!
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00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,461
- What's a Finsta?
- Oh, no.
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A fake Instagram account.
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I'm whimsically surveilling my girlfriend
to see if I should be worried
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00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,510
by using a fun, friendly avatar,
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00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,346
posing as her number-one fan.
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00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:18,516
Loretta has already responded
to two of Ronnie's comments.
200
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,434
This is a disaster in the making.
201
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,895
- Please refocus.
- You're right.
202
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:26,983
[Midwestern accent]
"Where my attention goes, energy flows."
203
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,651
[soft laughing]
204
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:29,777
[normal]
That's so Ronnie.
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- Dropping it.
- [elevator dings]
206
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,993
- [elevator doors open]
- [♪ whimsical mysterious music playing]
207
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:40,079
[traffic noise]
208
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,292
[Oliver sighs]
209
00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:48,629
[door creaks open]
210
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Humblest hovels is right.
211
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[iPad shutter snapping]
212
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,849
I'm doing recon for the murder board.
213
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:02,518
Uh, do you maybe wanna
turn off the shutter sound?
214
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:04,061
- And the flash?
- [shutter snaps]
215
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:06,814
And the sepia filter?
Do you need me to take that from you?
216
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:08,566
Let's talk to the barkeep first.
217
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,484
He's not only the keeper of the bar,
218
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:12,486
but also its secrets.
219
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:15,740
Yeah, I'll join you.
I'm fluent in "everyman."
220
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,826
- [quiet bar chatter]
- [Charles sighs]
221
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:20,411
[coolly]
Hey, bro. [growls]
222
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,664
[normal]
Yeah, I think I'll just have, uh,
223
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,291
uh, I'll have a cabernet.
224
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,376
Uh, 2011, if you have it.
Anything French, whatever.
225
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,004
[Oliver]
And I will have
226
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:33,049
a Cosmopolitan. Not too pink.
227
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,509
[♪ quiet rock music playing on radio]
228
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,887
Ideally in a boot.
229
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,640
What are you really here for?
230
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:44,143
We were hoping we could ask
a few questions about Sazz Pataki.
231
00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:46,145
I'm not talking to you.
232
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:47,605
Well, maybe my friend
233
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,316
Mr. Lincoln will change your mind.
234
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,318
- Mister...
- [bill crinkling]
235
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:55,571
- ...Abraham Lincoln.
- Ooh.
236
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,366
- [Oliver groans]
- [Charles] Hmm.
237
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:01,535
Uh, well, maybe this...
238
00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,120
will grease the wheels.
239
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,166
That's in addition to the five.
240
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,334
[Oliver laughs]
241
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,920
Think of all the tattoos
you can finish with that.
242
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,171
[Charles]
Ooh.
243
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,924
Well, maybe this will unzip your lips.
244
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:16,676
Can you break this?
245
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,095
I give you the 20, you give me back 15,
take the five,
246
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:22,223
add it to the six, for a total of 11.
247
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:25,059
Please just take his money
so this can stop.
248
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,727
[speaker]
Hey!
249
00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:28,521
These guys giving you trouble?
250
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:32,441
Take it easy, everybody.
I'm Charles-Haden Savage.
251
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,653
Sazz Pataki was my stunt double.
252
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:39,156
Not here. In here, you're Sazz's
acting double. You're just a face.
253
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:43,619
- We don't like faces.
- You know what we say about faces?
254
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,996
Deep down, you're all asses.
255
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:49,083
Hold on. I'm not like other faces.
256
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,793
Sazz was my friend.
257
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,462
- We're trying to solve her murder.
- Right.
258
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:55,131
For your podcast.
259
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,924
You're profiting off her death.
260
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:59,677
Meanwhile, the people who
really loved her can't even give her
261
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:02,513
the traditional stuntman's funeral
she deserves!
262
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:04,014
What? Why not?
263
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:06,600
No body, no funeral.
264
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:13,691
[indistinct angry shouting]
265
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,192
- [chair scraping]
- [body thuds]
266
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:17,528
- [patrons laughing]
- [panting]
267
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,321
- [Oliver gasps]
- [Charles gasps]
268
00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:20,698
Uh, wha...
269
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,742
- Ben Glenroy?
- Uh... ah...
270
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,536
[in Irish accent]
Ben's dead, ya eejit.
271
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:28,956
[panting]
272
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:31,584
He's gone forever.
Oh, he'd love to be here,
273
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,127
but there's no possible way.
274
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,546
Youse can't come back from
the dead, now, can ya?
275
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,841
I'm Glen Stubbins,
276
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,801
Ben's stunt double.
277
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:42,303
Oh yeah, I can see it.
278
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:45,681
Or I was, till you feckers rubbed him out.
279
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,516
Who feckers? Us feckers?
280
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:49,602
All yas feckin' feckers took him from me!
281
00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:52,897
You got a... for your man. [sighs]
282
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:55,024
[panting] Cheers.
283
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,484
[slurping]
284
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:58,903
[slams glass]
285
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,530
For 15 years,
I took every lump and fall
286
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,115
for that doll of a man.
287
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,328
Then, someone got in his ear
about making his mark on the stage!
288
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:09,663
One month later, boom!
289
00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:14,585
Then later, that... same night,
boom again!
290
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,921
My number one was gone.
291
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,715
[panting] Hey, do you see 'em? Eh.
292
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:21,217
- Just, just stamp!
- [stamps]
293
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,635
- [patron] Ah!
- [Glen Stubbins] Hey!
294
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,678
Peeping at me with
their beady little eyes!
295
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:25,930
- [yelling, stamping]
- Oh!
296
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,014
[patron]
Come on, Stubbins.
297
00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:30,184
For the last time, Glen,
there's no rats in this bar.
298
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:32,645
Oh, curse your eyes, there's no rats.
What do you call that?
299
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:36,065
- Where is it? Come on! Hey! Where'd it go?
- [stamping]
300
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,274
[door creaks open]
301
00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:41,320
- [indistinct yelling, stamping]
- [♪ ominous music playing]
302
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,738
Don't you see 'em?
303
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:46,492
There's no rats. What do you call this?
What do you call that?! What do you-- Ah!
304
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:49,161
- Do-Do you see 'em?
- [stamping]
305
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,789
[Mabel]
Guys, that's the purple light
306
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:54,834
from Sazz's last selfie.
I have to get in that back room.
307
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:58,170
You've been here long enough. Faces, out.
308
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:02,132
Don't worry, boyos. I'll finish 'em off.
309
00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,634
Time to introduce 'em
310
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,220
to Bono...
311
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,972
and The Edge.
312
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,348
[frightened screaming]
313
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,141
[door bursts open]
314
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,269
That went well!
315
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,353
[Glen]
Wait, wait!
316
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,272
[overlapping yelling]
317
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,815
Sorry. [panting]
318
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:20,609
Charles, a-apologies.
I didn't mean to rile ya up back there.
319
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,611
You threatened me with half of U2!
320
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,697
Yeah, I was just keeping up
appearances, weren't I?
321
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,198
Look, Chuck,
322
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:28,993
I'm begging ya.
Can you help me get a job on your film?
323
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,245
You lost your stunt double.
I lost my acting double.
324
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,330
We could make each other whole again.
325
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:34,874
I don't need a double.
326
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,584
Eh? Well...
327
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,711
Not even one that can do this?
328
00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:41,338
- [Oliver yelps]
- Oh, my God!
329
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:42,506
[lid clatters]
330
00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:44,133
- Or this?
- [Mabel] Whoa!
331
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:47,219
[♪ soft jaunty music playing]
332
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,304
[grunts]
333
00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:52,766
[grunting]
334
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:54,560
[car creaks]
335
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,770
- [panting]
- [Mabel] Uh...
336
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,397
[all yelp]
337
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:00,983
[garbage bags rustle]
338
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,110
Huh?
339
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,907
- [grunts]
- [overlapping yelps]
340
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,366
Oh God...
341
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,660
Eh?
342
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:14,455
Impressive,
but if you wanna double for Charles,
343
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,582
all you really need to do
is believably walk into
344
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,083
an easy-entrance bathtub.
345
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:20,669
Watch me throw myself through the window.
346
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:22,296
- [Charles/Oliver] No, no, no!
- Stop! Um...
347
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,465
We, we will get you a job
348
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,383
- on the movie they're making about us.
- Yes. Yes.
349
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:28,844
Oh! Thank the Virgin.
[panting]
350
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:31,013
My face would've been slashed to ribbons.
351
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,097
[chomps]
352
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,557
[Mabel]
Only...
353
00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:35,893
if you tell us what's
going on in that back room.
354
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:38,771
We know that Sazz was
there the day she died.
355
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,981
Well, she was probably seeing Dr. Maggie.
356
00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:42,650
Who's Dr. Maggie?
357
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,777
Dr. Maggie. Oh, well,
358
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,780
it's not really words
that can describe what she is.
359
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,865
Yeah, miracle worker.
360
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:52,201
Exorcist of sorts. She helps...
361
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,079
uh, release the pain demons
that plague us stunt folk
362
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:57,206
just by simply cracking our bones.
363
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,375
S-So, she's a chiropractor.
364
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:01,961
There is a word.
365
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,964
Well, Sazz was always with
Dr. Maggie getting cracked.
366
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,466
- Can you get us back there?
- What? Wait.
367
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:08,801
Sazz was in pain?
368
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,219
Loads of pain, thanks to you.
369
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,845
Of course, she never would've let on.
370
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,430
It's the stuntman way.
371
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:17,643
Is it okay if I-I go back there alone?
372
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:21,313
- [♪ downbeat music playing]
- Oh, uh, s-sure. Are you alright?
373
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:24,692
Totally. I just think if there's something
to be faced back there,
374
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,819
I, Sazz's face,
375
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,529
should be the one to face it.
376
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,115
Well, you know what Ronnie would say.
377
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:33,325
[Midwestern accent]
"If you don't face your fears,
378
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,577
your fears will eat your face."
379
00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:38,664
[normal]
Sorry. Not Ronnie's finest work.
380
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,710
Well. Well, come h--
I-I'll take you back.
381
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,294
Oh, and, um,
382
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:46,171
mind the rats.
383
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,424
I'll see you back at the Arconia.
384
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,843
- [bangs trashcan]
- [Glen grunts and grumbles]
385
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:54,680
- [mouthing]
- [door creaks open]
386
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,601
- [record button beeps]
- We're here with Hammy Faye.
387
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:03,313
Now, Hammy Faye, it's true that
most pigs can hunt for truffles,
388
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,441
but is it also true that,
if trained properly,
389
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,526
they can also be golf caddies?
390
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,194
- [footsteps approach]
- [Hammy grunts]
391
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,573
Hello?
392
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:16,201
[♪ soft mysterious music playing]
393
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,287
Dudenoff, is that you?
394
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,373
[footsteps walking away]
395
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:27,254
"Do you have what it takes to be a star?"
396
00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:28,881
Well, I think so.
397
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,341
"Open auditions for the new
Only Murders movie.
398
00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:33,552
No experience necessary."
399
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,512
- [Hammy grunts]
- Oh, Hammy.
400
00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:37,264
- [snorting]
- We can't leave.
401
00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:39,767
We could never betray Mabel.
Not for just...
402
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:43,270
some long-shot chance
at a part on the silver screen.
403
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:46,356
- [Hammy snorting]
- Never.
404
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:48,901
♪
405
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,946
I'm Howard Morris. Tim Kono c--
406
00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:55,032
[clears throat] I'm gonna start again.
407
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:56,992
[Hammy oinks]
408
00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:58,827
[coolly]
I'm Howard Morris.
409
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:02,081
Tim Kono complained a lot about Evelyn.
410
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:05,626
- He said she gave him asthma attacks.
- [Hammy oinks]
411
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:06,960
He threatened to shoot her.
412
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,338
Evelyn may have had nine lives,
413
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:11,423
but I cut his one short.
414
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,051
[normal]
Thank you.
415
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,303
- [Hammy grunts]
- [inaudible whispering]
416
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,848
What is happening right now?
417
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:22,059
- What?
- Seriously? What are you doing?
418
00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,685
That's what I was wondering.
419
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:26,105
Well, I'm acting. The, um...
420
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,815
I'm acting the part of Howard?
421
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,651
I feel like I'm doing
Ayahuasca in Boise, Idaho.
422
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:31,735
You make me wanna vomit.
423
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:35,781
What I believe Trina and Tawny
are saying is that...
424
00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:38,951
we... love you?
425
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,787
[laughs] Oh, good! Oh,
I can't wait to play myself.
426
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,915
Oh, you're not playing you.
Josh Gad's playing you.
427
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:46,458
Wait, so I didn't get the part?
428
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,377
[Bev Melon]
What I believe Trina and Tawny
429
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:51,296
are saying is, unfortunately,
no, you did not.
430
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,924
Of course not, but you're amazing.
431
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,467
And we're gonna nurture you.
432
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,344
- [♪ soft mysterious music playing]
- [soft whispering]
433
00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:00,222
[Dr. Maggie]
See you next week. The same time. Okay.
434
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:03,267
Eh, Dr. Maggie?
Your, uh, man here wants to see ya.
435
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,351
Can you fit him in?
436
00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,311
Oh, I don't want an adjustment.
437
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:08,230
I just wanna ask a few questions.
438
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,440
- Okay.
- [Glen] Well, eh, don't mind me.
439
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,152
I'll be hiding on the rat-baffler.
440
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,946
They can't recognize me
when I'm upside down.
441
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:20,242
I wanna ask about Sazz Pataki.
442
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,035
I know she was here the day she died,
443
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:24,413
and there's nothing stopping you
from talking about her.
444
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,915
You're not protected by HIPAA laws
because you're not a real doctor.
445
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,792
Then how'd she get a "Dr."
before her name?
446
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:30,252
They don't just give those away.
447
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,379
Chiropractics is a pseudoscience,
no offense.
448
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:34,715
Hm... I'm sorry.
449
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:36,967
It physically hurts me
to see a body this tense.
450
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:40,137
- Hm? Huh?
- Have you ever had locked-in syndrome?
451
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,681
Is this your original arm?
452
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,142
We can talk,
but not until you get on my table.
453
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,351
I told you, I don't believe in--
454
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,519
[gasps, yelps]
455
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:48,812
- [Dr. Maggie] Just breathe!
- [groans]
456
00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:50,522
Where the hell is Dudenoff?
457
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:53,192
Those cult card players must have
told him I'm squatting
458
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,693
in his place by now.
459
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,778
- Oh, my God! It's a breakthrough!
- What?
460
00:19:56,778 --> 00:20:00,240
Ronnie's bonded with Loretta
about their shared love of decoupage,
461
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,368
and she's about to ask
about the mystery arm.
462
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:06,496
Hmm. Okay, this is not how you
build trust in a relationship.
463
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:08,165
What's a cute word for "arm"?
464
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:10,459
Man branch? Hug helper? Chesticle?
465
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:11,752
What has gotten into you?
466
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,170
- [grunts]
- Into me?!
467
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,088
I'm worried about
who's getting into Loretta!
468
00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:18,175
- Oliver!
- Alright. Okay.
469
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:22,471
You know, I almost
proposed to Loretta in LA.
470
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,514
[♪ soft music playing]
471
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:25,641
Yeah, I know.
472
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,559
I was right there,
473
00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:29,436
and then I didn't.
474
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:30,896
Why not?
475
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,023
Eh, one failed marriage,
who hasn't been there?
476
00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:35,150
Two failed marriages?
477
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:36,985
People start asking questions.
478
00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:39,154
Why do you assume it would fail?
479
00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:42,908
Because she's living
the glamorous life of a starlet
480
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:45,410
with arms coming at her
from every direction.
481
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,746
Because...
482
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,082
I always fail.
483
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:54,002
- [door opens]
- C-Can I have my iPad back, please?
484
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:56,880
Fine, but no good
can come of this Ronnie thing.
485
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,841
[Howard Morris]
Mabel, I have something I need to say.
486
00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:02,886
You clearly don't have time
to support my creative efforts,
487
00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:05,514
so I am exiting our
one-sided relationship.
488
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:08,100
- [Hammy grunting]
- I believe this belongs to you.
489
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,935
Uh...
490
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,061
[Hammy squeals]
491
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:15,482
She likes when you
scratch under her armpits.
492
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:17,109
And she makes this special little face
493
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,652
when she has to poopy that--
You know what?
494
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,362
- I can't trust you with her.
- [Hammy grunting]
495
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:22,197
[♪ jaunty music playing]
496
00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:23,782
Uh-- Wait, Howard!
497
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:26,660
If you're here, who's watching
the Dudenoff apartment?
498
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,412
[gasps] Oh...
499
00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:29,955
[Hammy grunting]
500
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:32,874
♪
501
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:36,795
[Dr. Maggie]
Go ahead. Ask your questions.
502
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:40,090
Uh, I know Sazz was here the day she died.
503
00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:41,341
- What did she-- Ah!
- [bone cracks]
504
00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:43,051
Talk about?!
505
00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:44,553
Mostly about her pain.
506
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,805
And how excited she was to finally retire.
507
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:49,766
Oh, wait. Sazz said she was retiring!
508
00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:51,143
- [bone cracks]
- [Dr. Maggie grunts]
509
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,978
Transitioning into a new career.
510
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,147
She didn't say what,
but it had something to do
511
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,232
with a difficult relationship she was in.
512
00:21:57,232 --> 00:22:00,485
She was tired of giving more
than she got from this person.
513
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,862
- [bones crack]
- [grunts]
514
00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:04,197
But she didn't know how to get away.
515
00:22:04,197 --> 00:22:07,367
This may sound random, but...
516
00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:09,953
did she ever mention "paradise"?
517
00:22:09,953 --> 00:22:11,705
Not that I remember.
[exhales]
518
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:15,375
I have to warn you.
When a back as frozen as yours unlocks,
519
00:22:15,375 --> 00:22:17,919
it can release a lot of feelings.
520
00:22:17,919 --> 00:22:19,504
[Dr. Maggie strains]
521
00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:21,757
Some people describe it as
an out-of-body experience.
522
00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:24,343
I'm not worried.
The only out-of-body experience I ever had
523
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:27,012
is when I saw Edward Hopper's Nighthawks
at the Chicago Art--
524
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,847
- [back cracks]
- [indistinct yelling]
525
00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:31,808
- [echoing, distorted yell]
- [♪ eerie music playing]
526
00:22:31,808 --> 00:22:34,728
- Sazz?
- [footsteps]
527
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,813
- Sazz!
- [distorted leaves crunching]
528
00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:40,609
Wait up! Are you trying
to get away from me?
529
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,613
[eerie whooshing]
530
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:46,073
[echoing]
Oh, my God.
531
00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:47,824
Ah, it's just a scratch.
532
00:22:47,824 --> 00:22:50,619
I told ya, I'm trying to get to paradise.
You coming?
533
00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:52,537
[Sazz's voice echoes]
534
00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:55,082
[distant thunder rumbles]
535
00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,459
[whooshing]
536
00:22:59,252 --> 00:23:02,172
- Whew...
- [♪ eerie music fades out]
537
00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:04,758
Wow. [groans]
538
00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:07,344
You were out for a minute there.
Are you alright?
539
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:11,139
[sighs] Physically, yes.
540
00:23:12,849 --> 00:23:14,351
Emotionally, no.
541
00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:17,646
That bad relationship
Sazz said she was in...
542
00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:20,565
- [inversion table creaking]
- ...I'm afraid it was with me.
543
00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:23,235
[Glen]
Aw. [inhales]
544
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,821
- What have you got for heartache, Mags?
- [Dr. Maggie] Well,
545
00:23:26,446 --> 00:23:29,116
relationship worries are stored
in the pelvic floor, so--
546
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:32,202
Whoa-ho-ho! No. No.
547
00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:35,247
We'll-- We'll c--
We'll call this a hit right here,
548
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:39,209
so you did it. Thank you,
but mm-mm. Yeah.
549
00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:41,336
[♪ jaunty music playing]
550
00:23:41,336 --> 00:23:43,422
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
551
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:47,300
♪
552
00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:50,220
- [people grunting, straining]
- [wood scraping]
553
00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:51,805
[Mabel]
What are you doing here?
554
00:23:53,056 --> 00:23:55,308
We could ask the same thing of you.
555
00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:01,773
I could have this place swarming
with cops in two minutes.
556
00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:04,192
- No, no, no, no no. No more cops.
- [Mabel] Then, can you just
557
00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:05,944
tell me what kind of cult you are?
558
00:24:05,944 --> 00:24:09,239
What are we talking,
sex, Satan, or vitamins?
559
00:24:09,239 --> 00:24:11,032
- We're not a cult.
- [Mabel] Oh, really?
560
00:24:11,032 --> 00:24:13,326
You all talk on ham radios,
live communally,
561
00:24:13,326 --> 00:24:16,204
play a weird card game, and eat...
562
00:24:16,204 --> 00:24:17,664
bathtub pork.
563
00:24:17,664 --> 00:24:19,916
When you say it like that,
I can track it.
564
00:24:19,916 --> 00:24:21,626
Okay, so then what's going on?
565
00:24:25,088 --> 00:24:27,048
That's it. I'm calling Detective Williams.
566
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,383
Fine.
567
00:24:29,426 --> 00:24:31,511
- I'll tell you.
- No, Vince! Don't!
568
00:24:31,511 --> 00:24:33,889
Hey. What if we cut her in?
569
00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:36,391
She does need a place to live.
570
00:24:36,391 --> 00:24:39,936
- Oh, so she can have her own apartment?
- Yes. She's an adult.
571
00:24:39,936 --> 00:24:41,855
- I'm an adult.
- Let's act like it.
572
00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:43,315
Cut me into what?
573
00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:49,613
What I'm about to tell you
could ruin many lives.
574
00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:53,116
The information must
never leave this room.
575
00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:57,120
Okay, but I'm definitely
telling Charles and Oliver.
576
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,581
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
577
00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:01,291
Get 'em.
578
00:25:13,011 --> 00:25:14,012
What...
579
00:25:14,763 --> 00:25:16,181
What are these?
580
00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:17,474
Leases?
581
00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:20,602
We're illegally subletting
rent-controlled apartments.
582
00:25:20,602 --> 00:25:22,646
We're not a cult.
583
00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:24,564
It's a rent-control scheme.
584
00:25:24,564 --> 00:25:27,817
Although I have suggested getting
matching bathrobes in the past.
585
00:25:27,817 --> 00:25:30,445
- [♪ gentle music playing]
- Every apartment on this floor was rented
586
00:25:30,445 --> 00:25:32,697
by Professor Dudenoff years ago.
587
00:25:32,697 --> 00:25:35,242
[Rudy Thurber] We all met Professor
Dudenoff at one point or another.
588
00:25:35,242 --> 00:25:37,410
We all needed a cheap place to live.
589
00:25:37,410 --> 00:25:40,413
He saw that we were... What's the word?
590
00:25:40,413 --> 00:25:41,498
Weirdos?
591
00:25:41,498 --> 00:25:43,667
[Rudy] I was looking for
something softer, but yeah.
592
00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:47,170
- Weirdos.
- It can be hard to survive in this city
593
00:25:47,170 --> 00:25:49,089
when you march to
the beat of your own drum.
594
00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:51,132
You need somebody to have your back.
595
00:25:51,132 --> 00:25:53,009
Professor Dudenoff was that for us.
596
00:25:53,009 --> 00:25:56,930
Professor Dudenoff retired to Portugal,
but he still takes care of us every month.
597
00:25:56,930 --> 00:25:59,933
He sends us his favorite jamón,
598
00:25:59,933 --> 00:26:01,101
and we send him rent.
599
00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:03,311
He lives like a king in Portugal,
600
00:26:03,311 --> 00:26:06,398
and we get to live in
the Arconia for peanuts.
601
00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:08,400
How much is peanuts?
602
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,068
[♪ jaunty music playing]
603
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:15,240
200.
604
00:26:15,740 --> 00:26:17,659
Dollars? A month?!
605
00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:19,578
That's what you could be paying, too.
606
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:23,456
If you keep this out of the podcast.
607
00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:27,961
Wait. [sighs]
The voice on the ham radio said--
608
00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:31,131
- That was Helga, my ex-girlfriend.
- Your crazy ex-girlfriend.
609
00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:34,634
- You deserve so much better.
- Okay, she's just very slightly unhinged,
610
00:26:34,634 --> 00:26:37,596
but she's from Finland, you know?
It's cold and dark there.
611
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:40,515
They spend a lot of time
inside their own heads.
612
00:26:40,515 --> 00:26:43,977
She said Sazz got killed
for asking about you guys.
613
00:26:43,977 --> 00:26:46,479
Killed? For asking about us?
614
00:26:46,479 --> 00:26:48,315
I've never even met Sazz!
615
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:51,818
Helga's working through some issues.
A little paranoia.
616
00:26:51,818 --> 00:26:54,821
It's sad. I blocked her on my cell.
617
00:26:54,821 --> 00:26:56,281
I showed you guys,
618
00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:57,949
but she keeps trying
to reach me on the ham.
619
00:26:57,949 --> 00:27:00,994
So, Helga's just... nuts?
620
00:27:00,994 --> 00:27:03,788
Look, we're just
a family of weirdos here.
621
00:27:04,831 --> 00:27:06,833
Helga was the wrong kind of weirdo.
622
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:10,086
But, you...
623
00:27:10,837 --> 00:27:13,256
You could be the right kind of weirdo.
624
00:27:13,256 --> 00:27:14,758
♪
625
00:27:14,758 --> 00:27:16,343
What do you say?
626
00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:25,727
Okay, so you're telling me the Westies
play a game called "Oh Hell,"
627
00:27:25,727 --> 00:27:27,646
and somehow they're not a Satanist cult?
628
00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:29,230
Apparently not.
629
00:27:29,230 --> 00:27:32,400
I mean, their story is so crazy,
I kinda believe it.
630
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,195
And at $200 a month,
I can't afford not to.
631
00:27:36,196 --> 00:27:37,572
I feel bad about Howard.
632
00:27:37,572 --> 00:27:41,159
He needed a Dudenoff today,
and I dropped the ball.
633
00:27:42,285 --> 00:27:43,953
Take one trick.
634
00:27:43,953 --> 00:27:45,622
He'll come back around.
635
00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:47,374
Unlike my Loretta.
636
00:27:48,541 --> 00:27:50,710
- I'll take two.
- At least she's still alive.
637
00:27:51,294 --> 00:27:53,046
Sazz sacrificed everything for me,
638
00:27:53,046 --> 00:27:55,715
and by the time I realized it,
it was too late to make it up to her.
639
00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:58,551
I'll take none.
640
00:27:58,551 --> 00:28:00,553
Maybe Ronnie should ask Loretta--
641
00:28:00,553 --> 00:28:03,181
Okay, R-Ronnie is still with us?
642
00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:06,851
Oliver, I know you're doing this
because you're afraid to lose Loretta,
643
00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:08,436
but if she finds out,
644
00:28:08,436 --> 00:28:10,814
you are gonna lose her.
645
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:13,400
[sighs]
646
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:14,859
Okay, fine.
647
00:28:14,859 --> 00:28:17,153
I'll put Ronnie down.
648
00:28:22,075 --> 00:28:23,493
No, I can't.
649
00:28:23,493 --> 00:28:24,869
I can't do it. Mabel, you kill her.
650
00:28:24,869 --> 00:28:27,247
- [Mabel sighs]
- [♪ jaunty music playing]
651
00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:31,000
Alright. Well,
does Ronnie have any last words?
652
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,627
"We say bye-bye...
653
00:28:33,670 --> 00:28:36,423
because one bye is never enough."
654
00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:39,801
- Okay, nice eulogy. Funeral over.
- [iPad bloops]
655
00:28:42,345 --> 00:28:44,097
Funeral.
656
00:28:44,097 --> 00:28:46,683
Maybe there is something
I can still do for Sazz.
657
00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:52,313
[bar chatter]
658
00:28:52,313 --> 00:28:54,232
You need a body?
659
00:28:54,858 --> 00:28:55,859
I'm your body.
660
00:28:55,859 --> 00:28:57,777
[♪ "The Parting Glass"
by The High Kings playing]
661
00:28:57,777 --> 00:29:02,240
[Glen] When a face learns to appreciate
their double's sacrifices,
662
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,243
it can make for a special bond.
663
00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:07,328
One that lasts a lifetime
664
00:29:07,328 --> 00:29:09,247
or even beyond.
665
00:29:09,247 --> 00:29:10,832
Alright now, you sure
you can handle this?
666
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:14,919
Sazz stood in for me so many times.
667
00:29:14,919 --> 00:29:16,796
The least I can do is lie down for her.
668
00:29:16,796 --> 00:29:17,964
- [♪ song continues]
- Oh!
669
00:29:17,964 --> 00:29:20,800
Alright, animals, gather around!
Listen up.
670
00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:24,596
We are here to pay tribute
to the great Sazz Pataki.
671
00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:27,056
- [bar crowd] Sazz!
- First among us gone too soon.
672
00:29:27,056 --> 00:29:29,058
She lies before us now in state.
673
00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:31,394
We'll begin the service
with the traditional
674
00:29:31,394 --> 00:29:33,772
stuntman's margarita.
675
00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:37,567
- Ready. Steady. Sláinte.
- [all] Sláinte!
676
00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:40,153
- [murmuring]
- [♪ singing continues]
677
00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:42,447
[stuntmen wailing]
678
00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:45,617
Who wants to tell Sazz how
much she meant to 'em? Line up.
679
00:29:45,617 --> 00:29:47,702
- I got the breakaways.
- Good man.
680
00:29:47,702 --> 00:29:49,579
♪ And joy be with you ♪
681
00:29:49,579 --> 00:29:51,539
Aw, Sazz.
682
00:29:51,539 --> 00:29:54,709
When I clipped that sailboat
in that gnarly hang-gliding wreck,
683
00:29:54,709 --> 00:29:57,170
you came with me to get
my prosthetic shins.
684
00:29:57,170 --> 00:29:58,463
I love you, man!
685
00:29:58,463 --> 00:30:02,550
♪ ...the parting glass
and drink a health ♪
686
00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:04,761
- [yelps]
- [crowd clapping]
687
00:30:04,761 --> 00:30:07,555
♪ Whate'er befalls ♪
688
00:30:07,555 --> 00:30:09,641
[whispers]
Lie still, dead man.
689
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:12,352
♪ Gently rise and softly call ♪
690
00:30:12,352 --> 00:30:13,770
Next!
691
00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:16,105
♪ Goodnight and joy be to... ♪
692
00:30:16,105 --> 00:30:19,359
Sazz. You taught me to
put my fireproof jockstrap
693
00:30:19,359 --> 00:30:21,736
in the freezer before a blow-up.
694
00:30:21,736 --> 00:30:25,240
Shrunk my dick. You saved me
from burning my balls off.
695
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,033
[agreement murmuring]
696
00:30:27,033 --> 00:30:28,159
Thanks, pal.
697
00:30:28,159 --> 00:30:30,829
♪ ...for my going away ♪
698
00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:33,414
- ♪ And all the sweethearts ♪
- [grunts]
699
00:30:33,414 --> 00:30:35,625
♪ That e'er I had ♪
700
00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:38,837
[Glen]
Right. Well, my favorite Sazz story.
701
00:30:39,379 --> 00:30:42,507
Bunch of us lads got hired
as stunt consultants on Jackass Forever.
702
00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:47,053
This was the one where that shite fucker
Rex Bailey got his heel blown off
703
00:30:47,053 --> 00:30:49,514
teaching Johnny Knoxville
how to get fired out of a cannon.
704
00:30:49,514 --> 00:30:51,808
- [laughter]
- Anyways,
705
00:30:51,808 --> 00:30:53,810
Steve-O...
706
00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:58,064
kept calling me Lucky Charms Boy.
Magically delicious!
707
00:30:58,064 --> 00:31:02,068
Pink hearts, yellow moons,
green clovers, orange stars,
708
00:31:02,068 --> 00:31:05,238
blue diamonds, every feckin'
marshmallow in the box!
709
00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:07,240
[agreement murmuring]
710
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,368
And Sazz, bless her...
711
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:12,579
she put him in an arm bar until...
712
00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:15,748
♪ I gently rise and softly call ♪
713
00:31:15,748 --> 00:31:17,834
[crying]
until he pissed this trousers.
714
00:31:18,751 --> 00:31:20,461
[gasping]
715
00:31:21,004 --> 00:31:22,755
Oh, Sazz, love,
716
00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:25,800
we're fucked if we know how
to stagger on without ya.
717
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,594
[♪ music building]
718
00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:29,470
- [bottle thuds]
- [stuntmen gasp]
719
00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:32,181
[♪ "The Parting Glass"
continues triumphantly]
720
00:31:32,181 --> 00:31:34,893
Was that a real bottle, you asshole?
721
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:36,519
You set them up, you prick!
722
00:31:36,519 --> 00:31:40,148
- [stuntmen arguing]
- Are you calling me a Rex Bailey?
723
00:31:40,773 --> 00:31:42,483
Ye feckin' cock!
724
00:31:42,483 --> 00:31:45,528
- [all yelling]
- [cue sticks clatter]
725
00:31:45,528 --> 00:31:47,864
[♪ song continues]
726
00:31:47,864 --> 00:31:52,660
- [glass shatters]
- [fighting, smashing]
727
00:31:52,660 --> 00:31:55,038
Just like Sazz would've wanted.
728
00:31:55,038 --> 00:31:58,124
[yelling, fighting continues]
729
00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:03,296
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
730
00:32:03,296 --> 00:32:06,883
[♪ soft gentle piano music playing]
731
00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:09,010
- [Charles] Hey, Sazz.
- [Sazz] Hey!
732
00:32:09,010 --> 00:32:11,554
[Charles] You okay? That last hit
you took looked pretty rough.
733
00:32:11,554 --> 00:32:12,931
[Sazz]
Ah, piece of cake.
734
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:15,308
But someday,
I won't be able to take the hits anymore,
735
00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:17,268
and then, you know what I'm gonna do?
736
00:32:17,268 --> 00:32:21,064
I'ma open up a trampoline park
like the ones I used to go to with my dad.
737
00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:25,652
Where a kid can learn
how to fly and how to fall.
738
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:28,488
Train the next generation of stunt people.
739
00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:31,616
The Sazz Pataki Impact Academy.
740
00:32:31,616 --> 00:32:35,203
Why not build it here?
Location manager said this lot's for sale.
741
00:32:35,203 --> 00:32:37,538
Or it will be after the Superfund cleanup.
742
00:32:37,538 --> 00:32:40,917
Ah, yeah. Maybe.
743
00:32:41,876 --> 00:32:44,003
Uh, and let's keep
this under our hat, huh?
744
00:32:44,003 --> 00:32:46,673
The other stunt guys would laugh at this.
745
00:32:46,673 --> 00:32:49,092
But I can trust you.
You're my number one.
746
00:32:49,092 --> 00:32:50,218
- [pats back]
- [whoosh]
747
00:32:50,218 --> 00:32:53,304
- [muffled fighting continues]
- [muffled stuntmen screaming]
748
00:32:55,765 --> 00:32:58,768
[♪ piano music continues]
749
00:33:03,731 --> 00:33:04,732
[grunts]
750
00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:10,113
[car doors shut]
751
00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:13,366
This is it. Sazz's Paradise.
752
00:33:13,366 --> 00:33:16,077
- Is this a toxic waste dump?
- It was.
753
00:33:16,077 --> 00:33:17,453
Government cleaned it up.
754
00:33:18,454 --> 00:33:19,455
[Oliver]
Hmm.
755
00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:21,541
Yuck.
756
00:33:22,625 --> 00:33:24,627
♪
757
00:33:30,508 --> 00:33:32,218
This was her dream.
758
00:33:33,177 --> 00:33:35,513
- She came so close.
- [muffled clattering]
759
00:33:35,513 --> 00:33:37,807
Wait. Did you hear that?
760
00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:40,268
Is somebody in there?
761
00:33:41,269 --> 00:33:42,645
Careful.
762
00:33:42,645 --> 00:33:44,063
[door creaks]
763
00:33:44,063 --> 00:33:47,984
- [Mabel] What is this place, a hideout?
- [Charles] Kinda spooky.
764
00:33:47,984 --> 00:33:50,319
[Oliver]
This is really gonna drain my battery.
765
00:33:50,319 --> 00:33:51,779
Let me know if you see an outlet.
766
00:33:51,779 --> 00:33:53,239
- [creak]
- [Mabel gasps]
767
00:33:53,239 --> 00:33:55,616
- [♪ tense music playing]
- [Oliver] Oh! [laughs]
768
00:33:55,616 --> 00:33:58,244
Thank God,
someone from show business.
769
00:33:58,244 --> 00:34:01,164
Don't move or I'll blow
your fucking brains out.
770
00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:02,331
[all yelping]
771
00:34:02,331 --> 00:34:04,959
- [♪ dramatic crescendo]
- [cocks gun]
772
00:34:06,252 --> 00:34:09,255
[♪ dramatic music playing]
773
00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:33,237
♪
774
00:34:58,221 --> 00:34:59,222
[♪ music ends]
775
00:34:59,222 --> 00:35:02,308
[♪ fanfare playing]