1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,794 [Mabel Mora] So what's next, podcast-wise? 2 00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:04,504 - [gunshot, glass shatters] - [body thuds] 3 00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:06,881 [Oliver Putnam] What we need is a hot, fresh, dead body, 4 00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:09,342 preferably right here or very near to here. 5 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:12,178 I got another email from that Bev Melon. 6 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,389 They wanna make a movie of our podcast. 7 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,891 - Paramount? - They wanna fly us all out to LA 8 00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:19,144 - for some meeting next week. - [applause, cheering] 9 00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,645 Let's talk movies! 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,814 [Charles-Haden Savage] I invited Sazz to the party, 11 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:25,442 but she's back to not responding and she usually gets right back to me. 12 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,278 She had something "sensitive" to discuss with me. 13 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:31,114 She's had so many joints replaced by metal. 14 00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:33,450 Apparently, the best ones come from Bulgaria. 15 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,826 What's all this? 16 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,287 [Lester] [on phone] You need your kitchen window replaced. 17 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,622 Something left a little hole. 18 00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:40,707 [Charles] Like a bullet hole? 19 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,418 [♪ dramatic music playing] 20 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,888 [Sazz Pataki] Okay, make-- Yeah. Mm-hmm. 21 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,347 Well, hold on there. 22 00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:59,142 Stunt people are not actually daredevils. 23 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,227 {\an8}Sure, we find danger sexy. 24 00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,480 {\an8}You know, we like to flirt with it, 25 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,773 {\an8}buy it a drink, 26 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:08,818 {\an8}but we don't let it get into our pants. You know? 27 00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,154 We do danger safely. 28 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,781 So, if we do get hurt, 29 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:15,033 we live to fall another day. 30 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,159 [slight chuckle] 31 00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,495 You know who taught me that? 32 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:21,456 The best stuntman in the world. 33 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:25,126 My old man, Slim Pataki. 34 00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:26,961 [♪ nostalgic music playing] 35 00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:29,422 - I come from a long line of stunt people. - [Slim Pataki] Are you ready? 36 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,632 - [young Sazz] Yeah! - Here we go! 37 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,425 [adult Sazz] You know, while most parents are trying 38 00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:33,968 to keep their kids away from danger... 39 00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,553 - [screams] - Oh! 40 00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:38,014 ...mine taught me how to play in it. Honest to God. 41 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,391 Again, again, again! 42 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:43,144 [adult Sazz] There's no point in trying not to fall. 43 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:46,106 You always fall. But the trick is 44 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,900 you get up, you dust yourself off, 45 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:52,821 and make sure you don't become dust. 46 00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:54,531 [♪ nostalgic music fades out] 47 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,117 [Mabel] Charles, are you okay? 48 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:01,246 [Oliver] What do you need? We're here. 49 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,165 What do I do? 50 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,502 I can't wash her down the drain! Ah! 51 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,505 M-Maybe we could... 52 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,173 get a wipe? 53 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:15,426 Yes. Yes, a nice, respectful wipe. 54 00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:18,138 Sazz can't end up on a wipe. 55 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,515 Well, you could just leave them like that. 56 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,394 Then, you'd have permanent Sazz hands. [chuckles] 57 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,731 I'd like to take that one back. 58 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,026 I'm gonna call the police. 59 00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:33,236 - Okay. - Great. Yeah. 60 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,245 - Do you want me to-- - No. 61 00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,374 I know what I'll do. [sniffles] 62 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:47,959 I'll wash her into a bowl. 63 00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,210 - Great plan. - A bowl! 64 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:52,255 Then, I can take the water and ashes, pour 'em into something, 65 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,382 let the water evaporate. 66 00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,092 Maybe a Mason jar! 67 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:58,636 - Oh, homey. Cozy. What a good-- That-- - Yes, a Mason jar. 68 00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:01,848 - I love Mason jars. - And we will go get that for you now. 69 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:02,932 Yes. 70 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:08,313 [cabinet opens] 71 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:11,399 - [Mason jar clinks] - [♪ heartfelt music playing] 72 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:13,776 Sazz... 73 00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,862 ♪ 74 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,417 ♪ 75 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,425 - [splashing] - Ah! 76 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:41,054 [gasping] 77 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,061 [gasps] 78 00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:58,821 [splashing] 79 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,325 [sighs] 80 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,828 Hey, hey, hey, don't sweat it. 81 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,999 Me being dead is the least of your problemos. 82 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:12,794 Also, get your hands off my boobs. 83 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,837 - [♪ lively theme song playing] - [♪ Sazz whistling] 84 00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:18,967 [♪ vocalizing] 85 00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,841 [♪ theme song fades out] 86 00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:02,844 [air whistling] 87 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:05,263 [Oliver] Um... [grunts] 88 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,433 [gagging, sniffling] 89 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,892 [sputtering] 90 00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:13,187 Oh, God, she's all over me, too! 91 00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:15,356 {\an8}'Course this is the week my dry cleaner bumps up his pricing. 92 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:19,360 {\an8}Oliver, will you stop shaking Sazz onto the floor and line up the shot? 93 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,863 {\an8}Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry. O-Okay. So-- Alright. 94 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,491 {\an8}So, if that's where Sazz was hit, 95 00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:28,244 {\an8}then the angle puts the shooter 96 00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:29,746 {\an8}in the corner apartment across the way. 97 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,706 {\an8}[Mabel] But, what if... 98 00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,958 she was shot here and then fell? 99 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:37,003 Then, she was shot by the-- 100 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,339 {\an8}- the window next door. - [Charles] Okay! 101 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,132 My hands are clean. 102 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,051 Sazz is in the jar, 103 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,177 not in this room. 104 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,095 {\an8}I'm gonna put her right here. 105 00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,764 {\an8}Okay, s-- Wait, no! 106 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,307 {\an8}I'm gonna put her here 107 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,684 {\an8}because Sazz used to love sitting on this counter. 108 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,061 {\an8}So, this is absolutely-- 109 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,562 {\an8}Unless we put her over-- 110 00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:57,148 {\an8}No, this is good. This is absolutely good 111 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,817 {\an8}because it is time to enact protocol. 112 00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:01,152 {\an8}Let's call the police. 113 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:03,363 - Hold on! Hold on. - Wait! I mean, 114 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,908 {\an8}- yes, do what you need to do. - Whatever you need. 115 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,285 Absolutely, Charles. It's just that we thought 116 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:12,288 maybe we could talk to some people 117 00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,791 before the whole building... 118 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,834 comes under siege. 119 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:22,131 Okay. What do we know so far? 120 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:25,843 Okay, so Sazz came up here for the wine. 121 00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,679 There's a bullet hole in the glass. 122 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:31,140 And I found a couple of shards on the window seal, 123 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,810 so it seems the bullet came in, not out. 124 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:37,188 And also, Howard's cadaver dog thinks there was a body about here, 125 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,815 and then dragged to the trash chute 126 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,942 by someone who had access to your apartment, 127 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,860 which is terrifying. 128 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,863 And we know we found Sazz in the incinerator. 129 00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:47,698 [sighs] Poor Sazz. 130 00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:48,783 Poor Sazz. 131 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:51,702 I wish I had something to add, but I'm just a manifestation 132 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:54,872 of your rapidly declining mental state, so... 133 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:58,000 The shot came from the West Tower, 134 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,628 probably somewhere across on the 14th floor. 135 00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:03,172 But we need to know exactly where the body was 136 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,841 to know which apartment. 137 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:08,261 Oh! We could Luminol the floors! I could Postmates us a bottle. 138 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,345 Yes! 139 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:12,014 A-And what is Luminol, my little murder nerds? 140 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,434 It's a chemical that makes blood glow in the dark. 141 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:18,104 Also, other bodily fluids. That's how I found out 142 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,398 what the construction workers were doing in my old apartment. 143 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,649 Ew. 144 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,902 I don't get it. Who would kill Sazz? Everybody loves Sazz. 145 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,947 Well, remember, 146 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,992 the shooter was in the Arconia, 147 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,536 focusing on... your apartment. 148 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,581 And they shot a person dressed like you 149 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,082 in your kitchen. 150 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:39,500 You see where this is going! 151 00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,711 I see where this is going! 152 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,337 You think I was the target? 153 00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:44,630 That's preposterous! 154 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:48,259 I was People magazine's 8th Most Beloved TV Cop! 155 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,136 In 1989. 156 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,262 '91. 157 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,346 [Sazz] Hmm. 158 00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,725 Okay, clearly Sazz was into something weird, 159 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,895 but what about these notes we found in her apartment? 160 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,606 You got-- Look, look. "Sick pup." 161 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,691 This one just has random numbers. 162 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:05,735 - [Oliver] Yeah. -"Dudenoff." 163 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,446 No idea what that means. 164 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,909 "Looking at Charles." 165 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:16,287 It's a mistake to make assumptions this early in an investigation. 166 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,039 [Sazz] Don't let them get in your head. 167 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,207 If you were the target, 168 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,833 it means I was killed because of you, 169 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,419 and that kind of guilt will paralyze you. 170 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:25,004 We don't know who the target was! 171 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,048 [Oliver groans] 172 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:28,925 [Oliver] Listen, 173 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,969 buddy, m-maybe we make lists of people 174 00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:35,181 who, uh, hate you and people who hated Sazz. 175 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,142 Might be fastest to start with Sazz. 176 00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:39,644 Ah... 177 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,855 Sazz was dating Jan, a convicted murderer, 178 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,191 and Sazz said she needed to break up with Jan. 179 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,152 And we know what Jan does to people who break up with her. 180 00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:50,488 Okay, but Jan is in prison, 181 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,949 and you broke up with her, too. 182 00:08:53,449 --> 00:08:55,826 Right. I'm calling 911. 183 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:58,079 It's been a week, and Sazz's Bulgarian left shoulder and knee 184 00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,622 are still in that incinerator. 185 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,874 [line ringing] 186 00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,876 [operator] [on phone] 911. Are you in immediate danger? 187 00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,920 No! There's no proof of that! 188 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,130 - [operator] Alright, then please hold. - [beep, line ringing] 189 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,715 [NYPD hold voice] Thank you for calling 911. 190 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:13,302 There are... 68... emergencies ahead of you. 191 00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:15,054 Sixty-eight! 192 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:19,517 Okay, it looks like our glorious city has given us a minute. 193 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,228 Why don't we talk through what we know about the residents 194 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,980 of the West Tower? 195 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,232 Ah... 196 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,111 - [♪ plucky music playing] - The Westies. 197 00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,656 They're an odd bunch. Weirdos. 198 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,241 Loners. 199 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,492 Renters. 200 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:38,661 You don't have to say it like that. 201 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,955 Yeah, boomer, not everyone was alive 202 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,833 when an apartment cost a bag of beans. 203 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,501 I'd kill to rent anything. 204 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:49,046 [Oliver] Alright, Charles. Tell us about the Westies 205 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:52,592 - and why they might, for argument's sake, - [record button beeps] 206 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,218 want you dead. 207 00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:55,886 There's Stink-Eye Joe. 208 00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:56,971 [gunshot] 209 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,598 Seems hostile. 210 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,600 Always looking over here, 211 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,019 giving me the stink-eye. 212 00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:05,563 Ah. 213 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,857 There's the Sauce Family. 214 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,526 - [gunshot] - Always stirring some kind of sauce 215 00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,612 at all hours 216 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,864 and looking over here. 217 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,783 Three people, lots of pots, 218 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,494 - always stirring. - [Oliver gasps] 219 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:23,706 Are they stirring up a nice batch o' murder? 220 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,583 [Charles] There's the oddest one of all. 221 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,918 Christmas-all-the-Time Guy. 222 00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,129 - [gunshot] - Handsome guy, always working out. 223 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:33,090 Never takes down his Christmas decorations. 224 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:36,177 Wears a Christmas sweater all-year-round. 225 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,555 That's most of the floor I can see. 226 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:43,351 Besides that one apartment that never opens its blinds. 227 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,146 I see the lights go on and off sometimes, 228 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,148 but I never see anyone in there. 229 00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,484 - [Oliver] Interesting. - [stops recording] 230 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,944 Okay, let's sniff around before the cops come. 231 00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:56,781 I think we have to go down around the block to get in, right? 232 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:59,659 That's right. They sealed off the West Tower from the real Arconia 233 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,285 after a Westie opened a brothel. 234 00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:02,578 Pretty good one, too. 235 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,874 Okay, Charles, text us when 911 picks up. 236 00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,250 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 237 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:11,170 Sazz was my stunt double. I wanna investigate. 238 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,630 - [closing blinds] - [Mabel] Listen, 239 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:16,008 I know we don't know who the target was, 240 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,677 but just to be safe, 241 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,929 why don't you help out in here? 242 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:23,015 With the blinds closed. Stay on hold. 243 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:26,644 Make a new murder board. Um, Postmates the Luminol. 244 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:29,563 - [record button beeps] - Luminol! Postmates. 245 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,941 It was the most technical we'd ever been. 246 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,401 [stops recording] 247 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:36,737 You know this is all happening. We might as well just get started. 248 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:42,827 Hey! 249 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,745 You're giving me busy work! 250 00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:48,624 Charles, this is a big job. We need you to stay safe in here. 251 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:49,875 - And stay on hold. - Yeah. 252 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,502 - You don't need to go out there to help. - Right. 253 00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:53,379 'Course, they tried to shoot you in here. 254 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,256 I was not the target! 255 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,342 Of course, you weren't! 256 00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:01,095 But deadbolt the door. The killer might have had a key. 257 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,722 We love you, buddy. 258 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,598 We do. 259 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,684 I want to have said that. 260 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,732 [Mabel] Charles, deadbolt! 261 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,276 [deadbolt clicks] 262 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:19,655 - [sighs] - Okay, he is talking to no one. 263 00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,991 Hey, I've talked to a few dead people before. 264 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,910 Hey, I once invented a whole Fosse number of you and Charles dancing. 265 00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:27,496 - You had better gams. - Hey, what's that? 266 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,039 "Building meeting tonight. 267 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,709 "Keep our home from being overrun 268 00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:33,210 by a Hollywood movie shoot." 269 00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:35,671 No, no, no, no. This movie has to happen. 270 00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:39,675 It's the only way I can keep up with my sexy, successful girlfriend. 271 00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:43,095 Also, did you know Loretta's co-star is internet famous 272 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,973 for something called a "Jon Hamm-in-the-pants situation"? 273 00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,559 Oh, I know. Went deep down that rabbit hole 274 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,644 - one rainy afternoon. - [doors rumble] 275 00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:52,188 [Sazz] [on TV] Gates of Heaven. 276 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,981 You ever seen it? It's the first time 277 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:56,358 I ever saw real people just being themselves 278 00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,819 and being worthy as characters, too. 279 00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:01,947 - [TV Sazz continues] - It was about pet cemeteries. 280 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,074 But with some... 281 00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:07,453 deep existential shit about the afterlife. 282 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,331 [TV Sazz] And not for the dead so much, I really-- 283 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,541 [Charles] You've been on film hundreds of times, 284 00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:15,085 and the only way the world will remember your face 285 00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:16,420 is on this old documentary. 286 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,297 Well, 287 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,550 being on film is not the only way to be remembered. 288 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:23,761 [puts down remote] 289 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,722 You know, even if you were the target, 290 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,850 you don't have to feel bad. 291 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,352 That's the gig. 292 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,187 I take hits for my guy. 293 00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,861 [Charles] They're just trying to scare me. 294 00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,696 I'm not gonna get scared in my own apart-- 295 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,031 [loud thump] 296 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,035 [whispers] Closet. 297 00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:51,372 Don't know why I'm whispering. I'm just your subconscious. 298 00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:53,707 [thump] 299 00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:56,794 [♪ suspenseful music playing] 300 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,636 ♪ 301 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,263 Hello, Charles. 302 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:10,474 [wheezing screams] 303 00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:14,019 Yep. She's real. 304 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:17,022 [elevator dings] 305 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,820 [hushed] Wow... The West Tower. 306 00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:24,446 [record button beeps] 307 00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:28,075 Somewhere in this pit lay a sniper's nest. 308 00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:31,203 Okay, this is our one chance to meet people casually 309 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:34,164 before the cops put everyone on alert. 310 00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:36,625 So, let's look out some windows and chat. 311 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,794 - Look for the weird. - Okay, first up, 312 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:41,714 the menacing Stink-Eye Joe. 313 00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:46,302 Okay. [sniffs, clears throat] 314 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,470 [door creaks] 315 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,764 Hey! [laughs] 316 00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:54,143 It's the famous podcasters from the East Tower! 317 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:57,479 - Why, yes, that's us. - Uh, hi, I'm Mabel. 318 00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,064 I don't know if you're aware, 319 00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:01,817 but they're going to be shooting a movie here based on our podcast. 320 00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:04,528 - [gasps] A movie? - [Oliver] Yes, major stars. Very exciting. 321 00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:06,864 So we're scouting possible locations to shoot from. 322 00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:09,074 - In! To shoot in. - Exactly. 323 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,327 With cameras. N-N-Not bang-bang shoot. 324 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:12,411 Yeah. 325 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,538 So would you be interested in showing us your apartment? 326 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:17,541 Oh, yeah! I love the movies! 327 00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:20,252 I'll show you anything you want! Come on in! 328 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,630 [♪ gentle music playing] 329 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,214 Vince Fish. 330 00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:27,384 Listen, I got to apologize for the eye patch. 331 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,803 I have antibiotic-resistant pink eye, 332 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,806 and it leaves one eye, and then goes back into the other, 333 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,642 and then back and forth and back and forth like a-- 334 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:37,394 like a virus playing hopscotch! Anyhoo... 335 00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,438 - [Oliver snorts] - I gotta put a compress on it, 336 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,523 but I don't like to hold it in my hands 337 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:44,860 because I'm highly contagious, okay? 338 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,612 So, I came up with this system! 339 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,656 - Ah, pink eye. Yes. - That's a good idea. 340 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,741 S-So, would you mind if we glance out your window 341 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,868 to see if it gives us the right angle on the East Tower? 342 00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:54,620 Yeah, yeah, come on over! 343 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:58,165 Yeah, I-I mean, you get a good vantage point from over here. 344 00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,709 Everybody looks so small. 345 00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,878 You could pretend that they're not even people. 346 00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:06,048 They're just like little ants, and you just squish 'em! 347 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,967 You just squish 'em! 348 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,219 But I can see your place, Oliver. 349 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:12,221 Over there on 10. 350 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,390 And, uh, Mabel, 351 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,976 y-you used to live at 12, and... 352 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,019 there's your friend's place. 353 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,856 What's up with him and his lonely omelets? 354 00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,358 And why is he always staring? 355 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,903 Well, who could say why people do what they do. 356 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,072 Anyway, a shot from here won't work 357 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,658 because th-the windows are painted shut. 358 00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,536 [window struggling] 359 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,121 - [Mabel] Oh. Um... - Ow. 360 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,248 That's too bad. 361 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:42,710 Yeah. Must be hard for you Easties to imagine. 362 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,795 You're always lifting your windows, 363 00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,256 and letting in the fresh air. 364 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:50,259 Anyhow! I'm going to the neighbors to play some Oh Hell, 365 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:53,637 so if you wanna come along, you can. You can check out their place, right? 366 00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:55,139 - Uh-- Yes. - Oh, that would be fantastic. 367 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,725 - We'd love that. - Yeah, super! New friends! 368 00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,309 [Oliver groans] 369 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,606 - Back! Stay back. - [♪ tense music playing] 370 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,650 How did you get out of prison? 371 00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,777 A mix of parkour Sazz taught me 372 00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:11,321 and psychosexual manipulation. 373 00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:14,408 I won't bore or arouse you with deets. 374 00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,744 Well, I'm not bored. [clicks tongue] 375 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:19,163 And thanks for the tip about the secret passageways 376 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:20,831 in the second season of your podcast. 377 00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,124 Super helpful. 378 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,376 Charles! Stop scurrying! 379 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,964 I'm not here to kill you. 380 00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,967 I broke out because I'm worried about Sazz. 381 00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,886 Worried about Sazz? What, why? 382 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,221 [Jan Bellows] She called last week and sounded upset. 383 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,098 I haven't heard from her since. 384 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,183 Have you? 385 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,143 [NYPD hold voice] [on phone] Thank you for calling 911. 386 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,437 There are... 32... emergencies ahead of you. 387 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,939 Charles. 388 00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,567 Why did you call 911? 389 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:51,820 - I'll tell you, if you don't kill me. - I'll kill you if you don't tell me. 390 00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:53,906 Touché. 391 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,201 - Oh. [soft laugh] - [opens dishwasher] 392 00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,204 I've been meaning to wash these. 393 00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,331 [knives clatter] 394 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:05,042 [beep, shuts dishwasher] 395 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,543 [dishwasher whirring] 396 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:10,005 - We're really more like family over here. - [shuts door] 397 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,882 You know, the apartments may be smaller, 398 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,093 - but the hearts are bigger. [laughs] - Oh. 399 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,637 Maybe that's why I have an enlarged heart. 400 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,305 [laughing] 401 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,100 - Inez! - [knocking] 402 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,144 - We have guests! - [door creaks] 403 00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,731 [gasps] Fresh meat! [laughs] 404 00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:28,857 Ha! 405 00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:31,068 - Get in here. [laughing] - Come on. 406 00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:34,863 - [♪ upbeat music playing] - [Inez] Come on. Come on. Oh! 407 00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:37,241 - [Mabel] Hi, there. - Hi! Hi. 408 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,326 - [Inez laughs] - [awkward laugh] 409 00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:42,663 - Ah! Alfonso! Mira! [laughing] - [Alfonso] Yeah, mami? 410 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:43,956 Fix your face. 411 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,791 [Vince Fish] They wanna play Oh Hell with us. 412 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,334 [Alfonso] Oh! [laughing] 413 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:49,878 - So nice to finally meet you! - [patting back] 414 00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:52,214 - Right? A meeting of the towers. - [kissing] 415 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,299 Wh-Why haven't we done this earlier? 416 00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:57,177 - My mom wishes you brought your friend. - Ana! [laughs] 417 00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:58,554 She's right, though. 418 00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:02,099 Mm-hmm. Inez is in love with Brazzos. [laughs] 419 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,183 Ah... 420 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:04,935 No, seriously. When we first moved in, 421 00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:07,688 she spotted him across the courtyard, almost peed herself. 422 00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:11,150 I thought I was gonna have to take the guy out, you know? 423 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,153 Wow. Years of living across from your... 424 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,029 wife's crush must be hard, huh? 425 00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:18,365 Especially when your wife puts on a push-up bra to cook. 426 00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:21,910 Can I help it if Brazzos likes to watch me make sauce? 427 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,954 Mom! I need to move out. 428 00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,497 Alright, come on, come on. Let's get started. 429 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,749 You're gonna love this game. 430 00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:29,585 But be careful. 431 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,671 It's a little dangerous. 432 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:39,720 - [Inez] Ah-ha! [laughs] - [all groan] 433 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,346 So? 434 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,682 What do you think of Oh Hell? 435 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:47,728 Well, it's, uh, titillating. A little confusing. 436 00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,564 Reminds me of this traumatic game of strip Pinochle I once played 437 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:54,151 with the wonderful Frank Langella, wh-whose drapes do not match the-- 438 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,652 He definitely loves it. 439 00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,404 So, Mabel, did you achieve? 440 00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:58,906 I don't think so. 441 00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:01,575 - [Oliver] Oh. - Okay, I really, really want to. 442 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,493 - [laughs] - Why am I so obsessed already? 443 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,870 - It's so addictive. - Mm. 444 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,873 I bet your friend Mr. Savage would like it. 445 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,375 He's my hall pass. You know. 446 00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,377 Which is not supposed to be a thing 447 00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,755 with anyone you actually have a chance of meeting 448 00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,089 or, you know, 449 00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:19,051 anyone who's constantly staring through your window with his stupid fuckin' face. 450 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,345 Dad, I think you can relax about Brazzos. 451 00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:23,513 He has brittle bones. Mom would shatter him. 452 00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:26,308 - I'd sure like to try! - [Vince laughs] 453 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,352 Where's this one running off to? 454 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,896 I just need a pick-me-up. Where's the knife? 455 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,774 Oh, um, on the bathroom sink. I just sharpened it. 456 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:37,402 [♪ jaunty music playing] 457 00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,322 - [Alfonso inhales] - [Inez] Mm. 458 00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,242 Alright! Now, I need a hit. 459 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,702 [laughs] You can't resist! 460 00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:47,287 That's my baby! 461 00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:48,914 [laughs, sighs] 462 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,123 [knife slices] 463 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:51,750 ♪ 464 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:55,921 [Oliver sighs] 465 00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:01,301 So, wh-what is going on in the bathroom? 466 00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:04,137 Sorry. Westie secret. 467 00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,764 [Jan] A sniper? 468 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,600 [panting] 469 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,686 Snipers are assholes. 470 00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:15,065 What's the point of killing if you're not up close for the release? 471 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:16,858 That's the best part. 472 00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:19,111 You remember, Charles? 473 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,739 I really loved her. 474 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:27,786 We worked together almost 40 years. 475 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:29,371 She took every blow for me. 476 00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,581 We'd come to the most dangerous part of the scene, 477 00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:33,500 and the director would yell, "Freeze," 478 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:36,545 and I would freeze. And then Sazz would say... 479 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:39,131 - Tap in. -"...Tap in." And then, 480 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:43,010 she would get run over by an airboat while I had a Fresca. 481 00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,679 She couldn't find much doubling work 482 00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,764 because her height didn't match many women. 483 00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:49,599 [♪ somber music playing] 484 00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:53,353 She said you gave her the shot that started her life. 485 00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:54,563 She loved you. 486 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:58,108 [sighs] Jeez. This is getting sappy. 487 00:21:58,108 --> 00:22:00,402 She's the reason I haven't killed you, 488 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:03,196 despite hours of fantasizing. 489 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,199 Well, thank you, Sazz. 490 00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,243 Now, I need to borrow a shirt. 491 00:22:08,243 --> 00:22:10,162 This one's covered in prison guard brain. 492 00:22:10,954 --> 00:22:11,955 [Jan sighs] 493 00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,084 Prison guard brain? 494 00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:17,753 That's our Jan. 495 00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:19,755 [Mabel] Oh, hell! 496 00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:22,424 Wow! I needed that! 497 00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,217 [grunting] 498 00:22:24,217 --> 00:22:26,136 B-A-D! 499 00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,973 - [Inez] [gasps] Oh! You won! - Oh! I achieved? 500 00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:32,642 - [laughter, clapping] - I achieved! 501 00:22:32,642 --> 00:22:34,102 - [Vince] You did it? - Oh, my God! 502 00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:37,314 - Oh, I missed it! - [Alfonso] Okay, newbie. 503 00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:40,150 I think that earns you a trip to the bathroom. 504 00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:41,777 Here you go, buddy. 505 00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:45,280 Oh. I-I don't know that I-I need to-- 506 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,075 - [Inez] He's right, you earned it. - [Alfonso] Ollie. 507 00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:50,702 I insist. 508 00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:51,787 [nervous laugh] 509 00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:53,914 [Inez] Get in there. Get in there. 510 00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:56,416 - [Oliver groans] - [all] Get in there. Get in there. 511 00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:58,627 - Get in there! Get in there! - [Ana] Take the knife! 512 00:22:58,627 --> 00:22:59,920 - [Inez] Come on! - [all] Get in there! 513 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:03,632 Get in there! Get in there! Get in there! 514 00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:06,635 - Get in there! Get in there! - [♪ ominous music playing] 515 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,054 [Inez] Take that knife! [laughs] 516 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,931 [excited chatter] 517 00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:13,016 - Get in there! - [shrieks] 518 00:23:14,434 --> 00:23:15,477 Is that a person? 519 00:23:15,977 --> 00:23:18,480 Don't be ridiculous. It's a ham. 520 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,857 Imported from Portugal, very special. 521 00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:22,150 [gasps] 522 00:23:22,150 --> 00:23:24,945 [Oliver] It's a ham, Mabel! It's a ham in the shower! 523 00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:27,114 - [Vince] Yeah! - Go get it! 524 00:23:27,114 --> 00:23:28,365 - Alright! - [cheers] 525 00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:30,200 - Alright! - [laughter] 526 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,787 So, uh, it sounds like we've met most everybody on this side of the floor 527 00:23:33,787 --> 00:23:36,790 except for Christmas Guy and whoever is in that place 528 00:23:36,790 --> 00:23:39,709 with the lockbox on it. Who lives there? 529 00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:41,670 - Oh, um, that's the Dudenoff place. - [Inez kicks Ana] 530 00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:43,255 ♪ 531 00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:44,840 Dudenoff? 532 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,676 Do you know how we could contact them? 533 00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:50,637 [overlapping negative chatter] 534 00:23:50,637 --> 00:23:52,389 I don't even think he has a telephone. 535 00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,516 [awkward silence] 536 00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:57,102 Sazz was very worried about you, Charles. 537 00:23:57,102 --> 00:24:00,147 And the day's looking up. 538 00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:02,190 She said she thought someone had eyes on you. 539 00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:04,985 She was poking around the building because of it. 540 00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:07,779 This building? She was looking into someone who lives here? 541 00:24:07,779 --> 00:24:10,240 I don't know, but last time we talked, 542 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,410 she said she thought there might be another murderer in the building. 543 00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:17,664 It was last Wednesday, after my Lifers' Hip-Hop Dance Club. 544 00:24:17,664 --> 00:24:19,458 That was the night she died. 545 00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:21,501 Charles, you get rid of the body 546 00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:23,753 because you've killed the wrong person, 547 00:24:23,753 --> 00:24:25,922 and you don't want the right person on alert. 548 00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:30,093 And, trust me, once you've crossed over and tried to kill, 549 00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:32,012 if you fail, 550 00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:35,515 you come up with way more fucked-up ways to finish the job. 551 00:24:35,515 --> 00:24:37,559 - [knocking at door] - Time to go. 552 00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:39,603 - [Mabel] Charles! - [Oliver] Open up! 553 00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:42,564 - [knocking] - Stupid cops are gonna pin this on me, 554 00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:45,442 - so I gotta disappear. - [knocking, yelling] 555 00:24:45,442 --> 00:24:48,820 I was hoping to make love one last time, Charles, before you're murdered. 556 00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:51,740 Maybe at least some mutual masturbation, but ships passing, I guess. 557 00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:52,824 [Mabel] Where are you? 558 00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:54,993 - Well, you know, we got a little time... - I'll miss you, Charles. 559 00:24:54,993 --> 00:24:56,661 I hope it's quick. Woof! 560 00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:58,997 - [pounding at door] - [Mabel and Oliver yelling] 561 00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:00,999 - [Oliver] Open up! - [Mabel] Open the door! 562 00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:02,375 - [Oliver] Charles! - [Mabel] Charles! 563 00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:06,338 Hi! Okay, so the apartment with the closed blinds 564 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:09,049 is someone named Dudenoff. From Sazz's note! 565 00:25:09,049 --> 00:25:10,675 Now, we don't know who that is, 566 00:25:10,675 --> 00:25:12,886 but the Westies are very weird about it. 567 00:25:12,886 --> 00:25:15,305 Also, they eat toilet ham. 568 00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:16,848 - What? - [Mabel] And Stink-Eye Joe 569 00:25:16,848 --> 00:25:18,517 - is really just Pink-Eye Joe. - Yeah. 570 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:21,269 Which is arguably worse, but-- You made a board! 571 00:25:21,269 --> 00:25:22,729 Oh, that's so good! 572 00:25:22,729 --> 00:25:24,940 Who knows why Sazz was over there, 573 00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:28,068 but there is a lockbox on that Dudenoff door. 574 00:25:28,068 --> 00:25:29,152 [Charles] [quietly] Guys. 575 00:25:29,152 --> 00:25:30,487 [mouthing] 576 00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:41,623 Jan was here. She was here! 577 00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:43,792 Jan was here? 578 00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:45,544 - Yeah! - [Oliver] Uh-huh... 579 00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,003 And is she still here? 580 00:25:47,003 --> 00:25:48,338 Well, I didn't-- Ah! 581 00:25:48,338 --> 00:25:49,714 [Sazz] Can't you still smell her? 582 00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:51,841 I can. [inhales deeply] Mm. 583 00:25:51,841 --> 00:25:52,968 [♪ plucky music playing] 584 00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:56,179 - Charles, Jan is in prison. - Yeah. 585 00:25:56,179 --> 00:25:58,265 How could she be in your closet? 586 00:25:58,265 --> 00:25:59,516 Parkour. 587 00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:02,811 - Ah. - [record button beeps] 588 00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:05,063 And that is when we realized 589 00:26:05,063 --> 00:26:08,900 that Charles had begun his descent into madness. 590 00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:10,694 - [stops recording] - Guys, I was the target. 591 00:26:10,694 --> 00:26:12,571 The shot was for me. 592 00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,823 Sazz died for me. 593 00:26:14,823 --> 00:26:16,408 [NYPD hold voice] Thank you for calling 911. 594 00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:19,327 There are... 19... emergencies ahead of you. 595 00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:22,247 - Okay! You're doing good at hold. - Yeah. 596 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:23,748 Uh, did you order the Luminol? 597 00:26:23,748 --> 00:26:26,251 - It's on its way. - [Oliver] Good for you, dude! 598 00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:28,837 - We're proud of ya. - H-Hey, Oliver. 599 00:26:29,212 --> 00:26:30,797 - Look. The numbers. - [Oliver] Is that the code 600 00:26:30,797 --> 00:26:33,341 - for the lockbox? - Maybe. 601 00:26:33,341 --> 00:26:34,509 [shutter snaps] 602 00:26:34,509 --> 00:26:37,053 W-We're gonna try to get into the Dudenoff place 603 00:26:37,053 --> 00:26:39,556 as fast as possible, and then we'll be back. 604 00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:41,933 Okay, just text us if the cops pick up 605 00:26:41,933 --> 00:26:44,519 or the Luminol comes. You're doing great. 606 00:26:46,980 --> 00:26:48,189 [keypad beeping] 607 00:26:48,189 --> 00:26:50,859 Charles isn't doing so great. 608 00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:53,486 Yeah, we have to find the killer soon. He's a dead man walking. 609 00:26:53,486 --> 00:26:56,448 - [lockbox whirs] - Oh, goody, it works. 610 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:59,784 - [click, door creaks open] - [distant street noise] 611 00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,369 [lights click, buzz] 612 00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:03,830 [door creaks, shuts] 613 00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:12,964 Okay, if anyone actually lives here, they're definitely a psychopath. 614 00:27:12,964 --> 00:27:16,593 A ham radio. So much ham up here. 615 00:27:16,593 --> 00:27:17,719 [shutter snaps] 616 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:19,721 [shutter snaps] 617 00:27:21,222 --> 00:27:22,223 [blinds rattle] 618 00:27:25,268 --> 00:27:26,686 Hey. 619 00:27:26,686 --> 00:27:29,856 Look, there's a footprint on the radiator. 620 00:27:29,856 --> 00:27:32,150 [Oliver] And paint chips. The window was pried open. 621 00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:34,027 [shutter snapping] 622 00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:36,112 - [window rattles] - Ah! 623 00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:39,407 This must be the sniper's nest. 624 00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:43,787 It's also pretty spacious for a studio. 625 00:27:46,206 --> 00:27:47,999 Ho, ho, ho. 626 00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:51,628 Is this tinsel? 627 00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:53,713 [Mabel] Oliver! 628 00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:55,715 - What!? - [Mabel] More ham! 629 00:27:57,801 --> 00:28:00,679 - [oinking] - He's so cute! What's your name? 630 00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:03,765 Piggie Smalls? Notorious P.I.G.? 631 00:28:03,765 --> 00:28:05,058 - [loud banging] - Jesus! 632 00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:06,601 - [pig snorting] - Oh shit. 633 00:28:06,601 --> 00:28:09,396 - [♪ suspenseful music playing] - [door rattling] 634 00:28:09,396 --> 00:28:11,064 [pig squealing] 635 00:28:11,064 --> 00:28:12,691 [♪ music swells] 636 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,237 - [keypad beeping] - [pig snorting] 637 00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:19,614 [lockbox whirring] 638 00:28:19,614 --> 00:28:20,699 - [loud bang] - Oh! 639 00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:22,325 - [♪ hits piano note] - Shh! 640 00:28:22,325 --> 00:28:23,868 [Oliver snorts] 641 00:28:25,328 --> 00:28:26,329 [whispers] Wait. 642 00:28:26,329 --> 00:28:29,332 - [♪ suspenseful music playing] - [peephole squeaks] 643 00:28:34,963 --> 00:28:36,715 [♪ music swells] 644 00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:39,175 [door slams nearby] 645 00:28:39,676 --> 00:28:40,677 - [pig squeals] - [both yell] 646 00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:42,929 - [♪ dramatic music playing] - The pig's loose! 647 00:28:42,929 --> 00:28:45,724 Well, at least he has a chance. Go! 648 00:28:48,351 --> 00:28:51,354 Let's gather up some things and get outta here. 649 00:28:51,354 --> 00:28:53,815 I'm scared to leave here now. 650 00:28:53,815 --> 00:28:55,400 We stay down here. 651 00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:58,069 Nice and safe. 652 00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:00,488 Forever. 653 00:29:02,073 --> 00:29:05,076 Many cultures sit on the floor to eat. It'll be great. 654 00:29:07,537 --> 00:29:10,039 [NYPD hold voice] Thank you for calling 911. 655 00:29:10,039 --> 00:29:12,000 There are... eight... emergencies ahead of you. 656 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,585 We're almost there. 657 00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:19,132 [text notification chimes] 658 00:29:21,468 --> 00:29:23,470 That would be the Luminol. 659 00:29:24,095 --> 00:29:26,181 Downstairs. 660 00:29:26,181 --> 00:29:28,266 You don't have to go down there. 661 00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:32,020 Delegate. 662 00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:35,607 Let strangers find the killer of your fiercest protector. 663 00:29:36,232 --> 00:29:37,233 [Sazz sighs] 664 00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:45,742 I've gotta at least go get the box. 665 00:29:47,243 --> 00:29:49,662 [sighs] Just gotta, uh, pick up a package. 666 00:29:49,662 --> 00:29:52,540 That's easy. I pick up a package without getting kil-- Ew. 667 00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:54,918 Uh-- Okay. [muttering] 668 00:29:54,918 --> 00:29:58,379 I'll go in disguise-- Oh. I'll go in disguise. Alright. 669 00:29:58,379 --> 00:30:01,007 I'll say to Lester, "Don't look up and don't say my name, 670 00:30:01,007 --> 00:30:02,550 but give me that package." 671 00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:04,302 - [officer] NYPD! - [Charles] Don't kill me! 672 00:30:04,302 --> 00:30:05,637 [officers shouting] 673 00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,139 - Savage, are you safe? - What? I don't know, am I? 674 00:30:08,139 --> 00:30:11,226 Jan Bellows escaped using parkour and psychosexual manipulation. 675 00:30:11,226 --> 00:30:14,479 Then, we found sketches of her doing some really fucked-up shit to you. 676 00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:16,189 Acid showers, golden showers. 677 00:30:16,189 --> 00:30:17,857 Now, I'm not really sure how that kills anyone, 678 00:30:17,857 --> 00:30:19,317 but we need to inspect your bathroom. 679 00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:21,903 See? She is real! She was here! 680 00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:25,824 She was here? 681 00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:28,910 And you didn't report it, which you know is a crime? 682 00:30:31,329 --> 00:30:33,331 Savage, is there anything you wanna tell me? 683 00:30:33,331 --> 00:30:35,416 [911 operator] 911, what's your emergency? 684 00:30:39,337 --> 00:30:40,672 Hello? 685 00:30:41,881 --> 00:30:43,925 I'd like to report a murder. 686 00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:47,846 [sighs] Shut the fuckin' fuck up. 687 00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:49,681 You might wanna check the incinerator. 688 00:30:51,057 --> 00:30:53,560 Also, we grabbed your package. 689 00:30:54,811 --> 00:30:57,397 [911 operator] Sir, did you say a murder? 690 00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:06,781 Come on, let's go. Cops won't be in the basement forever. 691 00:31:06,781 --> 00:31:08,825 Are we allowed to do this to a crime scene? 692 00:31:08,825 --> 00:31:11,202 Forgiveness instead of permission is kind of our thing. 693 00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:13,746 Okay. And what does this Luminol do again? 694 00:31:13,746 --> 00:31:15,665 It'll show us where Sazz bled out. 695 00:31:15,665 --> 00:31:17,166 - Uh-huh. - Are you ready? 696 00:31:18,334 --> 00:31:19,711 I... 697 00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:21,963 I need a moment first. 698 00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:35,894 [sighs] 699 00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:42,150 [sighs] 700 00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:50,074 I failed you today, Sazz. 701 00:31:50,617 --> 00:31:54,704 [clicks tongue] Well, I wasn't at my best either. 702 00:31:54,704 --> 00:31:57,665 - And I'm you, so, yeah. - [sighs] 703 00:31:58,374 --> 00:32:00,501 - We lost our shit. - Hm. 704 00:32:00,501 --> 00:32:03,588 How am I ever gonna find your killer if I'm afraid to go outside? 705 00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:07,675 I don't know how to do this. All I know how to do is freeze. 706 00:32:07,675 --> 00:32:09,594 You need a stunt double. 707 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,389 - Remember in season one... - Mm. 708 00:32:13,389 --> 00:32:16,893 ...we had that big explosion stunt at the strip club? 709 00:32:16,893 --> 00:32:18,186 - Mm-hmm. - And for hours, 710 00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:20,688 you were running and diving in this, uh, 711 00:32:20,688 --> 00:32:22,440 filthy river. 712 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,735 - Yeah. My hair caught on fire. Yeah. - Your hair caught on fire. 713 00:32:25,735 --> 00:32:27,320 And that was all before lunch. 714 00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:30,156 Which I was having, uh, 715 00:32:30,156 --> 00:32:32,241 alone, as usual. 716 00:32:33,242 --> 00:32:34,744 And then, 717 00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:37,288 you came banging on my trailer door, 718 00:32:37,288 --> 00:32:39,540 and you brought in five crew guys 719 00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:41,417 that I had never talked to, 720 00:32:41,417 --> 00:32:45,296 and they all thanked me for inviting them to a poker game 721 00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:48,216 - which I hadn't. - Little white lie. 722 00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:49,717 And then, 723 00:32:49,717 --> 00:32:52,303 I had this weekly poker game 724 00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:54,389 for the next eight years. 725 00:32:56,349 --> 00:32:58,184 You found me friends. 726 00:33:00,144 --> 00:33:02,522 - [♪ soft music playing] - What was that guy? Th-The grip? 727 00:33:02,522 --> 00:33:04,732 He was so funny. And the, 728 00:33:04,732 --> 00:33:07,902 uh, big guy with the hair. Was it Schma? Schma? 729 00:33:07,902 --> 00:33:09,320 - Schmeong. - Schmeong. 730 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,155 Yeah. 731 00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:13,241 You were more than just a stunt double. 732 00:33:15,034 --> 00:33:17,078 You took care of me 733 00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:19,872 in every way a person could take care of someone. 734 00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:24,043 You're my oldest, 735 00:33:24,043 --> 00:33:26,045 best friend. 736 00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:30,049 What'll I do without you? 737 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:34,721 [sighs] 738 00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:41,477 [Mabel] Charles? We should do this. 739 00:33:43,646 --> 00:33:46,649 [♪ tense music playing] 740 00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:52,739 She was right here. 741 00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:03,041 Hey. Look at this. 742 00:34:05,084 --> 00:34:07,754 Did she write a message with her blood? 743 00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:11,424 Charles, do you know what that means? 744 00:34:13,092 --> 00:34:14,594 Yes. 745 00:34:15,386 --> 00:34:16,679 I do. 746 00:34:16,679 --> 00:34:18,222 [♪ dramatic music playing] 747 00:34:18,222 --> 00:34:21,517 [Sazz] Another thing my father taught me. If you wanna have a long career, 748 00:34:21,517 --> 00:34:24,062 you need to find your person. 749 00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:26,397 Your number one. 750 00:34:26,397 --> 00:34:29,025 The one you always fall for. 751 00:34:29,025 --> 00:34:31,277 And the day I met Charles-Haden Savage, 752 00:34:32,487 --> 00:34:34,405 I knew I'd found mine. 753 00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:35,782 [blinds rattle] 754 00:34:35,782 --> 00:34:38,451 And it's not just about a steady gig. 755 00:34:38,451 --> 00:34:40,369 Finding your number one pushes you 756 00:34:40,369 --> 00:34:43,664 to unlock parts of yourself you didn't even know you had. 757 00:34:43,664 --> 00:34:46,000 ♪ 758 00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:51,631 Because everything you do, 759 00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:55,468 you're doing for someone you care about. 760 00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:01,140 "Oh hell." 761 00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:06,229 They're not numbers. 762 00:35:06,229 --> 00:35:08,314 They're letters. 763 00:35:09,190 --> 00:35:10,983 [♪ dramatic music continues] 764 00:35:12,985 --> 00:35:15,613 Did one of them kill Sazz? 765 00:35:15,613 --> 00:35:17,698 [Mabel] We're gonna find out. 766 00:35:17,698 --> 00:35:20,409 [Charles] We're not investigating Sazz's murder anymore. 767 00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:23,788 We're investigating mine. 768 00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:33,131 [♪ plucky music playing] 769 00:35:48,771 --> 00:35:50,773 ♪ 770 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:23,181 [♪ music fades out] 771 00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:26,184 [♪ fanfare playing]