1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,794
[Mabel Mora]
So what's next, podcast-wise?
2
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:04,504
- [gunshot, glass shatters]
- [body thuds]
3
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:06,881
[Oliver Putnam]
What we need is a hot, fresh, dead body,
4
00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:09,342
preferably right here
or very near to here.
5
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:12,178
I got another email from that Bev Melon.
6
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,389
They wanna make a movie of our podcast.
7
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,891
- Paramount?
- They wanna fly us all out to LA
8
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:19,144
- for some meeting next week.
- [applause, cheering]
9
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,645
Let's talk movies!
10
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,814
[Charles-Haden Savage]
I invited Sazz to the party,
11
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:25,442
but she's back to not responding
and she usually gets right back to me.
12
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,278
She had something "sensitive"
to discuss with me.
13
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:31,114
She's had so many joints
replaced by metal.
14
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:33,450
Apparently, the best ones
come from Bulgaria.
15
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,826
What's all this?
16
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,287
[Lester] [on phone] You need
your kitchen window replaced.
17
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,622
Something left a little hole.
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00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:40,707
[Charles]
Like a bullet hole?
19
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,418
[♪ dramatic music playing]
20
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,888
[Sazz Pataki]
Okay, make-- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
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00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,347
Well, hold on there.
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00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:59,142
Stunt people are not actually daredevils.
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00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,227
{\an8}Sure, we find danger sexy.
24
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,480
{\an8}You know, we like to flirt with it,
25
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,773
{\an8}buy it a drink,
26
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:08,818
{\an8}but we don't let it get into our pants.
You know?
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00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,154
We do danger safely.
28
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,781
So, if we do get hurt,
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we live to fall another day.
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00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,159
[slight chuckle]
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00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,495
You know who taught me that?
32
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:21,456
The best stuntman in the world.
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00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:25,126
My old man, Slim Pataki.
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00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:26,961
[♪ nostalgic music playing]
35
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:29,422
- I come from a long line of stunt people.
- [Slim Pataki] Are you ready?
36
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,632
- [young Sazz] Yeah!
- Here we go!
37
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,425
[adult Sazz] You know,
while most parents are trying
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00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:33,968
to keep their kids away from danger...
39
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,553
- [screams]
- Oh!
40
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:38,014
...mine taught me how to play in it.
Honest to God.
41
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,391
Again, again, again!
42
00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:43,144
[adult Sazz]
There's no point in trying not to fall.
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00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:46,106
You always fall.
But the trick is
44
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,900
you get up, you dust yourself off,
45
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:52,821
and make sure you don't become dust.
46
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:54,531
[♪ nostalgic music fades out]
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00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,117
[Mabel]
Charles, are you okay?
48
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:01,246
[Oliver]
What do you need? We're here.
49
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,165
What do I do?
50
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,502
I can't wash her down the drain! Ah!
51
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,505
M-Maybe we could...
52
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,173
get a wipe?
53
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:15,426
Yes. Yes, a nice, respectful wipe.
54
00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:18,138
Sazz can't end up on a wipe.
55
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,515
Well, you could just leave them like that.
56
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,394
Then, you'd have permanent
Sazz hands. [chuckles]
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00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,731
I'd like to take that one back.
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I'm gonna call the police.
59
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- Okay.
- Great. Yeah.
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00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,245
- Do you want me to--
- No.
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00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,374
I know what I'll do. [sniffles]
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I'll wash her into a bowl.
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00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,210
- Great plan.
- A bowl!
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00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:52,255
Then, I can take the water and ashes,
pour 'em into something,
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00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,382
let the water evaporate.
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00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,092
Maybe a Mason jar!
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00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:58,636
- Oh, homey. Cozy. What a good-- That--
- Yes, a Mason jar.
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00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:01,848
- I love Mason jars.
- And we will go get that for you now.
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00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:02,932
Yes.
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00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:08,313
[cabinet opens]
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00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:11,399
- [Mason jar clinks]
- [♪ heartfelt music playing]
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Sazz...
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00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,862
♪
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00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,417
♪
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- [splashing]
- Ah!
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00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:41,054
[gasping]
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[gasps]
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00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:58,821
[splashing]
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00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,325
[sighs]
80
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,828
Hey, hey, hey, don't sweat it.
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00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,999
Me being dead is
the least of your problemos.
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00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:12,794
Also, get your hands off my boobs.
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00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,837
- [♪ lively theme song playing]
- [♪ Sazz whistling]
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00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:18,967
[♪ vocalizing]
85
00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,841
[♪ theme song fades out]
86
00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:02,844
[air whistling]
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00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:05,263
[Oliver]
Um... [grunts]
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00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,433
[gagging, sniffling]
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00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,892
[sputtering]
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00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:13,187
Oh, God, she's all over me, too!
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00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:15,356
{\an8}'Course this is the week my dry cleaner
bumps up his pricing.
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00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:19,360
{\an8}Oliver, will you stop shaking Sazz
onto the floor and line up the shot?
93
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,863
{\an8}Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry.
O-Okay. So-- Alright.
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00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,491
{\an8}So, if that's where Sazz was hit,
95
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:28,244
{\an8}then the angle puts the shooter
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00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:29,746
{\an8}in the corner apartment across the way.
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00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,706
{\an8}[Mabel]
But, what if...
98
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,958
she was shot here and then fell?
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00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:37,003
Then, she was shot by the--
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00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,339
{\an8}- the window next door.
- [Charles] Okay!
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00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,132
My hands are clean.
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00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,051
Sazz is in the jar,
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00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,177
not in this room.
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00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,095
{\an8}I'm gonna put her right here.
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00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,764
{\an8}Okay, s-- Wait, no!
106
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,307
{\an8}I'm gonna put her here
107
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,684
{\an8}because Sazz used to love
sitting on this counter.
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00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,061
{\an8}So, this is absolutely--
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00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,562
{\an8}Unless we put her over--
110
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:57,148
{\an8}No, this is good.
This is absolutely good
111
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,817
{\an8}because it is time to enact protocol.
112
00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:01,152
{\an8}Let's call the police.
113
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:03,363
- Hold on! Hold on.
- Wait! I mean,
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00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,908
{\an8}- yes, do what you need to do.
- Whatever you need.
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00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,285
Absolutely, Charles.
It's just that we thought
116
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:12,288
maybe we could talk to some people
117
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,791
before the whole building...
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00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,834
comes under siege.
119
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:22,131
Okay. What do we know so far?
120
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:25,843
Okay, so Sazz came up here for the wine.
121
00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,679
There's a bullet hole in the glass.
122
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:31,140
And I found a couple of shards
on the window seal,
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00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,810
so it seems the bullet came in, not out.
124
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:37,188
And also, Howard's cadaver dog
thinks there was a body about here,
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00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,815
and then dragged to the trash chute
126
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,942
by someone who had
access to your apartment,
127
00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,860
which is terrifying.
128
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,863
And we know we found
Sazz in the incinerator.
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00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:47,698
[sighs] Poor Sazz.
130
00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:48,783
Poor Sazz.
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00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:51,702
I wish I had something to add,
but I'm just a manifestation
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00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:54,872
of your rapidly declining
mental state, so...
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00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:58,000
The shot came from the West Tower,
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00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,628
probably somewhere
across on the 14th floor.
135
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:03,172
But we need to know
exactly where the body was
136
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,841
to know which apartment.
137
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:08,261
Oh! We could Luminol the floors!
I could Postmates us a bottle.
138
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,345
Yes!
139
00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:12,014
A-And what is Luminol,
my little murder nerds?
140
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,434
It's a chemical that makes
blood glow in the dark.
141
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:18,104
Also, other bodily fluids.
That's how I found out
142
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,398
what the construction workers
were doing in my old apartment.
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00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,649
Ew.
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00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,902
I don't get it. Who would kill Sazz?
Everybody loves Sazz.
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00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,947
Well, remember,
146
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,992
the shooter was in the Arconia,
147
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,536
focusing on... your apartment.
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00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,581
And they shot a person dressed like you
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00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,082
in your kitchen.
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00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:39,500
You see where this is going!
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00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,711
I see where this is going!
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00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,337
You think I was the target?
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00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:44,630
That's preposterous!
154
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:48,259
I was People magazine's
8th Most Beloved TV Cop!
155
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,136
In 1989.
156
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,262
'91.
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00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,346
[Sazz]
Hmm.
158
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,725
Okay, clearly Sazz was
into something weird,
159
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,895
but what about these notes
we found in her apartment?
160
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,606
You got-- Look, look.
"Sick pup."
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00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,691
This one just has random numbers.
162
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:05,735
- [Oliver] Yeah.
-"Dudenoff."
163
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,446
No idea what that means.
164
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,909
"Looking at Charles."
165
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:16,287
It's a mistake to make assumptions
this early in an investigation.
166
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,039
[Sazz]
Don't let them get in your head.
167
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,207
If you were the target,
168
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,833
it means I was killed because of you,
169
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,419
and that kind of guilt will paralyze you.
170
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:25,004
We don't know who the target was!
171
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,048
[Oliver groans]
172
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:28,925
[Oliver]
Listen,
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00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,969
buddy, m-maybe we make lists of people
174
00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:35,181
who, uh, hate you
and people who hated Sazz.
175
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,142
Might be fastest to start with Sazz.
176
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:39,644
Ah...
177
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,855
Sazz was dating Jan, a convicted murderer,
178
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,191
and Sazz said she needed
to break up with Jan.
179
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,152
And we know what Jan does to
people who break up with her.
180
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:50,488
Okay, but Jan is in prison,
181
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,949
and you broke up with her, too.
182
00:08:53,449 --> 00:08:55,826
Right. I'm calling 911.
183
00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:58,079
It's been a week, and Sazz's
Bulgarian left shoulder and knee
184
00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,622
are still in that incinerator.
185
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,874
[line ringing]
186
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,876
[operator] [on phone]
911. Are you in immediate danger?
187
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,920
No! There's no proof of that!
188
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,130
- [operator] Alright, then please hold.
- [beep, line ringing]
189
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,715
[NYPD hold voice]
Thank you for calling 911.
190
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:13,302
There are... 68...
emergencies ahead of you.
191
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:15,054
Sixty-eight!
192
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:19,517
Okay, it looks like our glorious city
has given us a minute.
193
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,228
Why don't we talk through
what we know about the residents
194
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,980
of the West Tower?
195
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,232
Ah...
196
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,111
- [♪ plucky music playing]
- The Westies.
197
00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,656
They're an odd bunch. Weirdos.
198
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,241
Loners.
199
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,492
Renters.
200
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:38,661
You don't have to say it like that.
201
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,955
Yeah, boomer,
not everyone was alive
202
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,833
when an apartment cost a bag of beans.
203
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,501
I'd kill to rent anything.
204
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:49,046
[Oliver] Alright, Charles.
Tell us about the Westies
205
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:52,592
- and why they might, for argument's sake,
- [record button beeps]
206
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,218
want you dead.
207
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:55,886
There's Stink-Eye Joe.
208
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:56,971
[gunshot]
209
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,598
Seems hostile.
210
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,600
Always looking over here,
211
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,019
giving me the stink-eye.
212
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:05,563
Ah.
213
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,857
There's the Sauce Family.
214
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,526
- [gunshot]
- Always stirring some kind of sauce
215
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,612
at all hours
216
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,864
and looking over here.
217
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,783
Three people, lots of pots,
218
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,494
- always stirring.
- [Oliver gasps]
219
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:23,706
Are they stirring up
a nice batch o' murder?
220
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,583
[Charles]
There's the oddest one of all.
221
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,918
Christmas-all-the-Time Guy.
222
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,129
- [gunshot]
- Handsome guy, always working out.
223
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:33,090
Never takes down
his Christmas decorations.
224
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:36,177
Wears a Christmas sweater all-year-round.
225
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,555
That's most of the floor I can see.
226
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:43,351
Besides that one apartment
that never opens its blinds.
227
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,146
I see the lights go on and off sometimes,
228
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,148
but I never see anyone in there.
229
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,484
- [Oliver] Interesting.
- [stops recording]
230
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,944
Okay, let's sniff around
before the cops come.
231
00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:56,781
I think we have to go down
around the block to get in, right?
232
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:59,659
That's right. They sealed off
the West Tower from the real Arconia
233
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,285
after a Westie opened a brothel.
234
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:02,578
Pretty good one, too.
235
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,874
Okay, Charles, text us when 911 picks up.
236
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,250
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
237
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:11,170
Sazz was my stunt double.
I wanna investigate.
238
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,630
- [closing blinds]
- [Mabel] Listen,
239
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:16,008
I know we don't know who the target was,
240
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,677
but just to be safe,
241
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,929
why don't you help out in here?
242
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:23,015
With the blinds closed.
Stay on hold.
243
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:26,644
Make a new murder board.
Um, Postmates the Luminol.
244
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:29,563
- [record button beeps]
- Luminol! Postmates.
245
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,941
It was the most technical we'd ever been.
246
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,401
[stops recording]
247
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:36,737
You know this is all happening.
We might as well just get started.
248
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:42,827
Hey!
249
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,745
You're giving me busy work!
250
00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:48,624
Charles, this is a big job.
We need you to stay safe in here.
251
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:49,875
- And stay on hold.
- Yeah.
252
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,502
- You don't need to go out there to help.
- Right.
253
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:53,379
'Course, they tried to shoot you in here.
254
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,256
I was not the target!
255
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,342
Of course, you weren't!
256
00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:01,095
But deadbolt the door.
The killer might have had a key.
257
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,722
We love you, buddy.
258
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,598
We do.
259
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,684
I want to have said that.
260
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,732
[Mabel]
Charles, deadbolt!
261
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,276
[deadbolt clicks]
262
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:19,655
- [sighs]
- Okay, he is talking to no one.
263
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,991
Hey, I've talked to
a few dead people before.
264
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,910
Hey, I once invented a whole Fosse number
of you and Charles dancing.
265
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:27,496
- You had better gams.
- Hey, what's that?
266
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,039
"Building meeting tonight.
267
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,709
"Keep our home from being overrun
268
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:33,210
by a Hollywood movie shoot."
269
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:35,671
No, no, no, no.
This movie has to happen.
270
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:39,675
It's the only way I can keep up
with my sexy, successful girlfriend.
271
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:43,095
Also, did you know Loretta's
co-star is internet famous
272
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,973
for something called
a "Jon Hamm-in-the-pants situation"?
273
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,559
Oh, I know.
Went deep down that rabbit hole
274
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,644
- one rainy afternoon.
- [doors rumble]
275
00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:52,188
[Sazz] [on TV]
Gates of Heaven.
276
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,981
You ever seen it?
It's the first time
277
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:56,358
I ever saw real people
just being themselves
278
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,819
and being worthy as characters, too.
279
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:01,947
- [TV Sazz continues]
- It was about pet cemeteries.
280
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,074
But with some...
281
00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:07,453
deep existential shit about the afterlife.
282
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,331
[TV Sazz]
And not for the dead so much, I really--
283
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,541
[Charles]
You've been on film hundreds of times,
284
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:15,085
and the only way the world
will remember your face
285
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:16,420
is on this old documentary.
286
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,297
Well,
287
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,550
being on film is not
the only way to be remembered.
288
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:23,761
[puts down remote]
289
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,722
You know, even if you were the target,
290
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,850
you don't have to feel bad.
291
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,352
That's the gig.
292
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,187
I take hits for my guy.
293
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,861
[Charles]
They're just trying to scare me.
294
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,696
I'm not gonna get scared
in my own apart--
295
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,031
[loud thump]
296
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,035
[whispers]
Closet.
297
00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:51,372
Don't know why I'm whispering.
I'm just your subconscious.
298
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:53,707
[thump]
299
00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:56,794
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
300
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,636
♪
301
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,263
Hello, Charles.
302
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:10,474
[wheezing screams]
303
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:14,019
Yep. She's real.
304
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:17,022
[elevator dings]
305
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,820
[hushed]
Wow... The West Tower.
306
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:24,446
[record button beeps]
307
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:28,075
Somewhere in this pit lay a sniper's nest.
308
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:31,203
Okay, this is our one chance
to meet people casually
309
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:34,164
before the cops put everyone on alert.
310
00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:36,625
So, let's look out some windows and chat.
311
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,794
- Look for the weird.
- Okay, first up,
312
00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:41,714
the menacing Stink-Eye Joe.
313
00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:46,302
Okay. [sniffs, clears throat]
314
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,470
[door creaks]
315
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,764
Hey! [laughs]
316
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:54,143
It's the famous podcasters
from the East Tower!
317
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:57,479
- Why, yes, that's us.
- Uh, hi, I'm Mabel.
318
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,064
I don't know if you're aware,
319
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:01,817
but they're going to be shooting
a movie here based on our podcast.
320
00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:04,528
- [gasps] A movie?
- [Oliver] Yes, major stars. Very exciting.
321
00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:06,864
So we're scouting possible
locations to shoot from.
322
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:09,074
- In! To shoot in.
- Exactly.
323
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,327
With cameras.
N-N-Not bang-bang shoot.
324
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:12,411
Yeah.
325
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,538
So would you be interested
in showing us your apartment?
326
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:17,541
Oh, yeah! I love the movies!
327
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:20,252
I'll show you anything you want!
Come on in!
328
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,630
[♪ gentle music playing]
329
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,214
Vince Fish.
330
00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:27,384
Listen, I got to apologize
for the eye patch.
331
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,803
I have antibiotic-resistant pink eye,
332
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,806
and it leaves one eye,
and then goes back into the other,
333
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,642
and then back and forth
and back and forth like a--
334
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:37,394
like a virus playing hopscotch!
Anyhoo...
335
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,438
- [Oliver snorts]
- I gotta put a compress on it,
336
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,523
but I don't like to hold it in my hands
337
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:44,860
because I'm highly contagious, okay?
338
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,612
So, I came up with this system!
339
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,656
- Ah, pink eye. Yes.
- That's a good idea.
340
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,741
S-So, would you mind if
we glance out your window
341
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,868
to see if it gives us
the right angle on the East Tower?
342
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:54,620
Yeah, yeah, come on over!
343
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:58,165
Yeah, I-I mean, you get a good
vantage point from over here.
344
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,709
Everybody looks so small.
345
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,878
You could pretend that
they're not even people.
346
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:06,048
They're just like little ants,
and you just squish 'em!
347
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,967
You just squish 'em!
348
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,219
But I can see your place, Oliver.
349
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:12,221
Over there on 10.
350
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,390
And, uh, Mabel,
351
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,976
y-you used to live at 12, and...
352
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,019
there's your friend's place.
353
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,856
What's up with him and his lonely omelets?
354
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,358
And why is he always staring?
355
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,903
Well, who could say why
people do what they do.
356
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,072
Anyway, a shot from here won't work
357
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,658
because th-the windows are painted shut.
358
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,536
[window struggling]
359
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,121
- [Mabel] Oh. Um...
- Ow.
360
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,248
That's too bad.
361
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:42,710
Yeah.
Must be hard for you Easties to imagine.
362
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,795
You're always lifting your windows,
363
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,256
and letting in the fresh air.
364
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:50,259
Anyhow! I'm going to the neighbors
to play some Oh Hell,
365
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:53,637
so if you wanna come along, you can.
You can check out their place, right?
366
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:55,139
- Uh-- Yes.
- Oh, that would be fantastic.
367
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,725
- We'd love that.
- Yeah, super! New friends!
368
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,309
[Oliver groans]
369
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,606
- Back! Stay back.
- [♪ tense music playing]
370
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,650
How did you get out of prison?
371
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,777
A mix of parkour Sazz taught me
372
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:11,321
and psychosexual manipulation.
373
00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:14,408
I won't bore or arouse you with deets.
374
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,744
Well, I'm not bored. [clicks tongue]
375
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:19,163
And thanks for the tip
about the secret passageways
376
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:20,831
in the second season of your podcast.
377
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,124
Super helpful.
378
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,376
Charles! Stop scurrying!
379
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,964
I'm not here to kill you.
380
00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,967
I broke out because
I'm worried about Sazz.
381
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,886
Worried about Sazz? What, why?
382
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,221
[Jan Bellows]
She called last week and sounded upset.
383
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,098
I haven't heard from her since.
384
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,183
Have you?
385
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,143
[NYPD hold voice] [on phone]
Thank you for calling 911.
386
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,437
There are... 32...
emergencies ahead of you.
387
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,939
Charles.
388
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,567
Why did you call 911?
389
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:51,820
- I'll tell you, if you don't kill me.
- I'll kill you if you don't tell me.
390
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:53,906
Touché.
391
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,201
- Oh. [soft laugh]
- [opens dishwasher]
392
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,204
I've been meaning to wash these.
393
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,331
[knives clatter]
394
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:05,042
[beep, shuts dishwasher]
395
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,543
[dishwasher whirring]
396
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:10,005
- We're really more like family over here.
- [shuts door]
397
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,882
You know, the apartments may be smaller,
398
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,093
- but the hearts are bigger. [laughs]
- Oh.
399
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,637
Maybe that's why
I have an enlarged heart.
400
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,305
[laughing]
401
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,100
- Inez!
- [knocking]
402
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,144
- We have guests!
- [door creaks]
403
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,731
[gasps] Fresh meat! [laughs]
404
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:28,857
Ha!
405
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:31,068
- Get in here. [laughing]
- Come on.
406
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:34,863
- [♪ upbeat music playing]
- [Inez] Come on. Come on. Oh!
407
00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:37,241
- [Mabel] Hi, there.
- Hi! Hi.
408
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,326
- [Inez laughs]
- [awkward laugh]
409
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:42,663
- Ah! Alfonso! Mira! [laughing]
- [Alfonso] Yeah, mami?
410
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:43,956
Fix your face.
411
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,791
[Vince Fish]
They wanna play Oh Hell with us.
412
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,334
[Alfonso]
Oh! [laughing]
413
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:49,878
- So nice to finally meet you!
- [patting back]
414
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:52,214
- Right? A meeting of the towers.
- [kissing]
415
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,299
Wh-Why haven't we done this earlier?
416
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:57,177
- My mom wishes you brought your friend.
- Ana! [laughs]
417
00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:58,554
She's right, though.
418
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:02,099
Mm-hmm.
Inez is in love with Brazzos. [laughs]
419
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,183
Ah...
420
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:04,935
No, seriously.
When we first moved in,
421
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:07,688
she spotted him across the courtyard,
almost peed herself.
422
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:11,150
I thought I was gonna have to
take the guy out, you know?
423
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,153
Wow. Years of living across from your...
424
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,029
wife's crush must be hard, huh?
425
00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:18,365
Especially when your wife
puts on a push-up bra to cook.
426
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:21,910
Can I help it if Brazzos
likes to watch me make sauce?
427
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,954
Mom! I need to move out.
428
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,497
Alright, come on, come on.
Let's get started.
429
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,749
You're gonna love this game.
430
00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:29,585
But be careful.
431
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,671
It's a little dangerous.
432
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:39,720
- [Inez] Ah-ha! [laughs]
- [all groan]
433
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,346
So?
434
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,682
What do you think of Oh Hell?
435
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:47,728
Well, it's, uh, titillating.
A little confusing.
436
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,564
Reminds me of this traumatic game
of strip Pinochle I once played
437
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:54,151
with the wonderful Frank Langella,
wh-whose drapes do not match the--
438
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,652
He definitely loves it.
439
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,404
So, Mabel, did you achieve?
440
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:58,906
I don't think so.
441
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:01,575
- [Oliver] Oh.
- Okay, I really, really want to.
442
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,493
- [laughs]
- Why am I so obsessed already?
443
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,870
- It's so addictive.
- Mm.
444
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,873
I bet your friend Mr. Savage
would like it.
445
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,375
He's my hall pass. You know.
446
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,377
Which is not supposed to be a thing
447
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,755
with anyone you actually
have a chance of meeting
448
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,089
or, you know,
449
00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:19,051
anyone who's constantly staring through
your window with his stupid fuckin' face.
450
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,345
Dad, I think you can relax about Brazzos.
451
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:23,513
He has brittle bones.
Mom would shatter him.
452
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:26,308
- I'd sure like to try!
- [Vince laughs]
453
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,352
Where's this one running off to?
454
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,896
I just need a pick-me-up.
Where's the knife?
455
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,774
Oh, um, on the bathroom sink.
I just sharpened it.
456
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:37,402
[♪ jaunty music playing]
457
00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,322
- [Alfonso inhales]
- [Inez] Mm.
458
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,242
Alright! Now, I need a hit.
459
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,702
[laughs] You can't resist!
460
00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:47,287
That's my baby!
461
00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:48,914
[laughs, sighs]
462
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,123
[knife slices]
463
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:51,750
♪
464
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:55,921
[Oliver sighs]
465
00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:01,301
So, wh-what is going on in the bathroom?
466
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:04,137
Sorry. Westie secret.
467
00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,764
[Jan]
A sniper?
468
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,600
[panting]
469
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,686
Snipers are assholes.
470
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:15,065
What's the point of killing
if you're not up close for the release?
471
00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:16,858
That's the best part.
472
00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:19,111
You remember, Charles?
473
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,739
I really loved her.
474
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:27,786
We worked together almost 40 years.
475
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:29,371
She took every blow for me.
476
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,581
We'd come to the most
dangerous part of the scene,
477
00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:33,500
and the director would yell, "Freeze,"
478
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:36,545
and I would freeze.
And then Sazz would say...
479
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:39,131
- Tap in.
-"...Tap in." And then,
480
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:43,010
she would get run over by an airboat
while I had a Fresca.
481
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,679
She couldn't find much doubling work
482
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,764
because her height
didn't match many women.
483
00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:49,599
[♪ somber music playing]
484
00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:53,353
She said you gave her
the shot that started her life.
485
00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:54,563
She loved you.
486
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:58,108
[sighs] Jeez. This is getting sappy.
487
00:21:58,108 --> 00:22:00,402
She's the reason I haven't killed you,
488
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:03,196
despite hours of fantasizing.
489
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,199
Well, thank you, Sazz.
490
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,243
Now, I need to borrow a shirt.
491
00:22:08,243 --> 00:22:10,162
This one's covered in prison guard brain.
492
00:22:10,954 --> 00:22:11,955
[Jan sighs]
493
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,084
Prison guard brain?
494
00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:17,753
That's our Jan.
495
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:19,755
[Mabel]
Oh, hell!
496
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:22,424
Wow! I needed that!
497
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,217
[grunting]
498
00:22:24,217 --> 00:22:26,136
B-A-D!
499
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,973
- [Inez] [gasps] Oh! You won!
- Oh! I achieved?
500
00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:32,642
- [laughter, clapping]
- I achieved!
501
00:22:32,642 --> 00:22:34,102
- [Vince] You did it?
- Oh, my God!
502
00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:37,314
- Oh, I missed it!
- [Alfonso] Okay, newbie.
503
00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:40,150
I think that earns you
a trip to the bathroom.
504
00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:41,777
Here you go, buddy.
505
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:45,280
Oh. I-I don't know that I-I need to--
506
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,075
- [Inez] He's right, you earned it.
- [Alfonso] Ollie.
507
00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:50,702
I insist.
508
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:51,787
[nervous laugh]
509
00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:53,914
[Inez]
Get in there. Get in there.
510
00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:56,416
- [Oliver groans]
- [all] Get in there. Get in there.
511
00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:58,627
- Get in there! Get in there!
- [Ana] Take the knife!
512
00:22:58,627 --> 00:22:59,920
- [Inez] Come on!
- [all] Get in there!
513
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:03,632
Get in there!
Get in there! Get in there!
514
00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:06,635
- Get in there! Get in there!
- [♪ ominous music playing]
515
00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,054
[Inez]
Take that knife! [laughs]
516
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,931
[excited chatter]
517
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:13,016
- Get in there!
- [shrieks]
518
00:23:14,434 --> 00:23:15,477
Is that a person?
519
00:23:15,977 --> 00:23:18,480
Don't be ridiculous. It's a ham.
520
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,857
Imported from Portugal, very special.
521
00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:22,150
[gasps]
522
00:23:22,150 --> 00:23:24,945
[Oliver] It's a ham, Mabel!
It's a ham in the shower!
523
00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:27,114
- [Vince] Yeah!
- Go get it!
524
00:23:27,114 --> 00:23:28,365
- Alright!
- [cheers]
525
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:30,200
- Alright!
- [laughter]
526
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,787
So, uh, it sounds like we've met most
everybody on this side of the floor
527
00:23:33,787 --> 00:23:36,790
except for Christmas Guy
and whoever is in that place
528
00:23:36,790 --> 00:23:39,709
with the lockbox on it.
Who lives there?
529
00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:41,670
- Oh, um, that's the Dudenoff place.
- [Inez kicks Ana]
530
00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:43,255
♪
531
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:44,840
Dudenoff?
532
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,676
Do you know how we could contact them?
533
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:50,637
[overlapping negative chatter]
534
00:23:50,637 --> 00:23:52,389
I don't even think he has a telephone.
535
00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,516
[awkward silence]
536
00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:57,102
Sazz was very worried about you, Charles.
537
00:23:57,102 --> 00:24:00,147
And the day's looking up.
538
00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:02,190
She said she thought
someone had eyes on you.
539
00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:04,985
She was poking around
the building because of it.
540
00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:07,779
This building? She was looking into
someone who lives here?
541
00:24:07,779 --> 00:24:10,240
I don't know,
but last time we talked,
542
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,410
she said she thought there might be
another murderer in the building.
543
00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:17,664
It was last Wednesday,
after my Lifers' Hip-Hop Dance Club.
544
00:24:17,664 --> 00:24:19,458
That was the night she died.
545
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:21,501
Charles, you get rid of the body
546
00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:23,753
because you've killed the wrong person,
547
00:24:23,753 --> 00:24:25,922
and you don't want
the right person on alert.
548
00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:30,093
And, trust me, once you've crossed
over and tried to kill,
549
00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:32,012
if you fail,
550
00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:35,515
you come up with way more
fucked-up ways to finish the job.
551
00:24:35,515 --> 00:24:37,559
- [knocking at door]
- Time to go.
552
00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:39,603
- [Mabel] Charles!
- [Oliver] Open up!
553
00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:42,564
- [knocking]
- Stupid cops are gonna pin this on me,
554
00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:45,442
- so I gotta disappear.
- [knocking, yelling]
555
00:24:45,442 --> 00:24:48,820
I was hoping to make love one last time,
Charles, before you're murdered.
556
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:51,740
Maybe at least some mutual masturbation,
but ships passing, I guess.
557
00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:52,824
[Mabel]
Where are you?
558
00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:54,993
- Well, you know, we got a little time...
- I'll miss you, Charles.
559
00:24:54,993 --> 00:24:56,661
I hope it's quick. Woof!
560
00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:58,997
- [pounding at door]
- [Mabel and Oliver yelling]
561
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:00,999
- [Oliver] Open up!
- [Mabel] Open the door!
562
00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:02,375
- [Oliver] Charles!
- [Mabel] Charles!
563
00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:06,338
Hi! Okay, so the apartment
with the closed blinds
564
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:09,049
is someone named Dudenoff.
From Sazz's note!
565
00:25:09,049 --> 00:25:10,675
Now, we don't know who that is,
566
00:25:10,675 --> 00:25:12,886
but the Westies are very weird about it.
567
00:25:12,886 --> 00:25:15,305
Also, they eat toilet ham.
568
00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:16,848
- What?
- [Mabel] And Stink-Eye Joe
569
00:25:16,848 --> 00:25:18,517
- is really just Pink-Eye Joe.
- Yeah.
570
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:21,269
Which is arguably worse, but--
You made a board!
571
00:25:21,269 --> 00:25:22,729
Oh, that's so good!
572
00:25:22,729 --> 00:25:24,940
Who knows why Sazz was over there,
573
00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:28,068
but there is a lockbox
on that Dudenoff door.
574
00:25:28,068 --> 00:25:29,152
[Charles] [quietly]
Guys.
575
00:25:29,152 --> 00:25:30,487
[mouthing]
576
00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:41,623
Jan was here. She was here!
577
00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:43,792
Jan was here?
578
00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:45,544
- Yeah!
- [Oliver] Uh-huh...
579
00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,003
And is she still here?
580
00:25:47,003 --> 00:25:48,338
Well, I didn't-- Ah!
581
00:25:48,338 --> 00:25:49,714
[Sazz]
Can't you still smell her?
582
00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:51,841
I can. [inhales deeply] Mm.
583
00:25:51,841 --> 00:25:52,968
[♪ plucky music playing]
584
00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:56,179
- Charles, Jan is in prison.
- Yeah.
585
00:25:56,179 --> 00:25:58,265
How could she be in your closet?
586
00:25:58,265 --> 00:25:59,516
Parkour.
587
00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:02,811
- Ah.
- [record button beeps]
588
00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:05,063
And that is when we realized
589
00:26:05,063 --> 00:26:08,900
that Charles had begun
his descent into madness.
590
00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:10,694
- [stops recording]
- Guys, I was the target.
591
00:26:10,694 --> 00:26:12,571
The shot was for me.
592
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,823
Sazz died for me.
593
00:26:14,823 --> 00:26:16,408
[NYPD hold voice]
Thank you for calling 911.
594
00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:19,327
There are... 19...
emergencies ahead of you.
595
00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:22,247
- Okay! You're doing good at hold.
- Yeah.
596
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:23,748
Uh, did you order the Luminol?
597
00:26:23,748 --> 00:26:26,251
- It's on its way.
- [Oliver] Good for you, dude!
598
00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:28,837
- We're proud of ya.
- H-Hey, Oliver.
599
00:26:29,212 --> 00:26:30,797
- Look. The numbers.
- [Oliver] Is that the code
600
00:26:30,797 --> 00:26:33,341
- for the lockbox?
- Maybe.
601
00:26:33,341 --> 00:26:34,509
[shutter snaps]
602
00:26:34,509 --> 00:26:37,053
W-We're gonna try to get
into the Dudenoff place
603
00:26:37,053 --> 00:26:39,556
as fast as possible,
and then we'll be back.
604
00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:41,933
Okay, just text us if the cops pick up
605
00:26:41,933 --> 00:26:44,519
or the Luminol comes.
You're doing great.
606
00:26:46,980 --> 00:26:48,189
[keypad beeping]
607
00:26:48,189 --> 00:26:50,859
Charles isn't doing so great.
608
00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:53,486
Yeah, we have to find the killer soon.
He's a dead man walking.
609
00:26:53,486 --> 00:26:56,448
- [lockbox whirs]
- Oh, goody, it works.
610
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:59,784
- [click, door creaks open]
- [distant street noise]
611
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,369
[lights click, buzz]
612
00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:03,830
[door creaks, shuts]
613
00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:12,964
Okay, if anyone actually lives here,
they're definitely a psychopath.
614
00:27:12,964 --> 00:27:16,593
A ham radio.
So much ham up here.
615
00:27:16,593 --> 00:27:17,719
[shutter snaps]
616
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:19,721
[shutter snaps]
617
00:27:21,222 --> 00:27:22,223
[blinds rattle]
618
00:27:25,268 --> 00:27:26,686
Hey.
619
00:27:26,686 --> 00:27:29,856
Look, there's a footprint on the radiator.
620
00:27:29,856 --> 00:27:32,150
[Oliver] And paint chips.
The window was pried open.
621
00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:34,027
[shutter snapping]
622
00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:36,112
- [window rattles]
- Ah!
623
00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:39,407
This must be the sniper's nest.
624
00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:43,787
It's also pretty spacious for a studio.
625
00:27:46,206 --> 00:27:47,999
Ho, ho, ho.
626
00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:51,628
Is this tinsel?
627
00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:53,713
[Mabel]
Oliver!
628
00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:55,715
- What!?
- [Mabel] More ham!
629
00:27:57,801 --> 00:28:00,679
- [oinking]
- He's so cute! What's your name?
630
00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:03,765
Piggie Smalls?
Notorious P.I.G.?
631
00:28:03,765 --> 00:28:05,058
- [loud banging]
- Jesus!
632
00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:06,601
- [pig snorting]
- Oh shit.
633
00:28:06,601 --> 00:28:09,396
- [♪ suspenseful music playing]
- [door rattling]
634
00:28:09,396 --> 00:28:11,064
[pig squealing]
635
00:28:11,064 --> 00:28:12,691
[♪ music swells]
636
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,237
- [keypad beeping]
- [pig snorting]
637
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:19,614
[lockbox whirring]
638
00:28:19,614 --> 00:28:20,699
- [loud bang]
- Oh!
639
00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:22,325
- [♪ hits piano note]
- Shh!
640
00:28:22,325 --> 00:28:23,868
[Oliver snorts]
641
00:28:25,328 --> 00:28:26,329
[whispers] Wait.
642
00:28:26,329 --> 00:28:29,332
- [♪ suspenseful music playing]
- [peephole squeaks]
643
00:28:34,963 --> 00:28:36,715
[♪ music swells]
644
00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:39,175
[door slams nearby]
645
00:28:39,676 --> 00:28:40,677
- [pig squeals]
- [both yell]
646
00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:42,929
- [♪ dramatic music playing]
- The pig's loose!
647
00:28:42,929 --> 00:28:45,724
Well, at least he has a chance.
Go!
648
00:28:48,351 --> 00:28:51,354
Let's gather up some things
and get outta here.
649
00:28:51,354 --> 00:28:53,815
I'm scared to leave here now.
650
00:28:53,815 --> 00:28:55,400
We stay down here.
651
00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:58,069
Nice and safe.
652
00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:00,488
Forever.
653
00:29:02,073 --> 00:29:05,076
Many cultures sit on the floor to eat.
It'll be great.
654
00:29:07,537 --> 00:29:10,039
[NYPD hold voice]
Thank you for calling 911.
655
00:29:10,039 --> 00:29:12,000
There are... eight...
emergencies ahead of you.
656
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,585
We're almost there.
657
00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:19,132
[text notification chimes]
658
00:29:21,468 --> 00:29:23,470
That would be the Luminol.
659
00:29:24,095 --> 00:29:26,181
Downstairs.
660
00:29:26,181 --> 00:29:28,266
You don't have to go down there.
661
00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:32,020
Delegate.
662
00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:35,607
Let strangers find the killer
of your fiercest protector.
663
00:29:36,232 --> 00:29:37,233
[Sazz sighs]
664
00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:45,742
I've gotta at least go get the box.
665
00:29:47,243 --> 00:29:49,662
[sighs] Just gotta, uh, pick up a package.
666
00:29:49,662 --> 00:29:52,540
That's easy. I pick up a package
without getting kil-- Ew.
667
00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:54,918
Uh-- Okay. [muttering]
668
00:29:54,918 --> 00:29:58,379
I'll go in disguise-- Oh.
I'll go in disguise. Alright.
669
00:29:58,379 --> 00:30:01,007
I'll say to Lester,
"Don't look up and don't say my name,
670
00:30:01,007 --> 00:30:02,550
but give me that package."
671
00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:04,302
- [officer] NYPD!
- [Charles] Don't kill me!
672
00:30:04,302 --> 00:30:05,637
[officers shouting]
673
00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,139
- Savage, are you safe?
- What? I don't know, am I?
674
00:30:08,139 --> 00:30:11,226
Jan Bellows escaped using parkour
and psychosexual manipulation.
675
00:30:11,226 --> 00:30:14,479
Then, we found sketches of her doing
some really fucked-up shit to you.
676
00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:16,189
Acid showers, golden showers.
677
00:30:16,189 --> 00:30:17,857
Now, I'm not really sure
how that kills anyone,
678
00:30:17,857 --> 00:30:19,317
but we need to inspect your bathroom.
679
00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:21,903
See? She is real! She was here!
680
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:25,824
She was here?
681
00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:28,910
And you didn't report it,
which you know is a crime?
682
00:30:31,329 --> 00:30:33,331
Savage, is there anything
you wanna tell me?
683
00:30:33,331 --> 00:30:35,416
[911 operator]
911, what's your emergency?
684
00:30:39,337 --> 00:30:40,672
Hello?
685
00:30:41,881 --> 00:30:43,925
I'd like to report a murder.
686
00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:47,846
[sighs] Shut the fuckin' fuck up.
687
00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:49,681
You might wanna check the incinerator.
688
00:30:51,057 --> 00:30:53,560
Also, we grabbed your package.
689
00:30:54,811 --> 00:30:57,397
[911 operator]
Sir, did you say a murder?
690
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:06,781
Come on, let's go.
Cops won't be in the basement forever.
691
00:31:06,781 --> 00:31:08,825
Are we allowed to do this
to a crime scene?
692
00:31:08,825 --> 00:31:11,202
Forgiveness instead of permission
is kind of our thing.
693
00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:13,746
Okay.
And what does this Luminol do again?
694
00:31:13,746 --> 00:31:15,665
It'll show us where Sazz bled out.
695
00:31:15,665 --> 00:31:17,166
- Uh-huh.
- Are you ready?
696
00:31:18,334 --> 00:31:19,711
I...
697
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:21,963
I need a moment first.
698
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:35,894
[sighs]
699
00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:42,150
[sighs]
700
00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:50,074
I failed you today, Sazz.
701
00:31:50,617 --> 00:31:54,704
[clicks tongue] Well,
I wasn't at my best either.
702
00:31:54,704 --> 00:31:57,665
- And I'm you, so, yeah.
- [sighs]
703
00:31:58,374 --> 00:32:00,501
- We lost our shit.
- Hm.
704
00:32:00,501 --> 00:32:03,588
How am I ever gonna find your killer
if I'm afraid to go outside?
705
00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:07,675
I don't know how to do this.
All I know how to do is freeze.
706
00:32:07,675 --> 00:32:09,594
You need a stunt double.
707
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,389
- Remember in season one...
- Mm.
708
00:32:13,389 --> 00:32:16,893
...we had that big explosion stunt
at the strip club?
709
00:32:16,893 --> 00:32:18,186
- Mm-hmm.
- And for hours,
710
00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:20,688
you were running and diving in this, uh,
711
00:32:20,688 --> 00:32:22,440
filthy river.
712
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,735
- Yeah. My hair caught on fire. Yeah.
- Your hair caught on fire.
713
00:32:25,735 --> 00:32:27,320
And that was all before lunch.
714
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:30,156
Which I was having, uh,
715
00:32:30,156 --> 00:32:32,241
alone, as usual.
716
00:32:33,242 --> 00:32:34,744
And then,
717
00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:37,288
you came banging on my trailer door,
718
00:32:37,288 --> 00:32:39,540
and you brought in five crew guys
719
00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:41,417
that I had never talked to,
720
00:32:41,417 --> 00:32:45,296
and they all thanked me
for inviting them to a poker game
721
00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:48,216
- which I hadn't.
- Little white lie.
722
00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:49,717
And then,
723
00:32:49,717 --> 00:32:52,303
I had this weekly poker game
724
00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:54,389
for the next eight years.
725
00:32:56,349 --> 00:32:58,184
You found me friends.
726
00:33:00,144 --> 00:33:02,522
- [♪ soft music playing]
- What was that guy? Th-The grip?
727
00:33:02,522 --> 00:33:04,732
He was so funny. And the,
728
00:33:04,732 --> 00:33:07,902
uh, big guy with the hair.
Was it Schma? Schma?
729
00:33:07,902 --> 00:33:09,320
- Schmeong.
- Schmeong.
730
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,155
Yeah.
731
00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:13,241
You were more than just a stunt double.
732
00:33:15,034 --> 00:33:17,078
You took care of me
733
00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:19,872
in every way a person
could take care of someone.
734
00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:24,043
You're my oldest,
735
00:33:24,043 --> 00:33:26,045
best friend.
736
00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:30,049
What'll I do without you?
737
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:34,721
[sighs]
738
00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:41,477
[Mabel]
Charles? We should do this.
739
00:33:43,646 --> 00:33:46,649
[♪ tense music playing]
740
00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:52,739
She was right here.
741
00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:03,041
Hey. Look at this.
742
00:34:05,084 --> 00:34:07,754
Did she write a message with her blood?
743
00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:11,424
Charles, do you know what that means?
744
00:34:13,092 --> 00:34:14,594
Yes.
745
00:34:15,386 --> 00:34:16,679
I do.
746
00:34:16,679 --> 00:34:18,222
[♪ dramatic music playing]
747
00:34:18,222 --> 00:34:21,517
[Sazz] Another thing my father taught me.
If you wanna have a long career,
748
00:34:21,517 --> 00:34:24,062
you need to find your person.
749
00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:26,397
Your number one.
750
00:34:26,397 --> 00:34:29,025
The one you always fall for.
751
00:34:29,025 --> 00:34:31,277
And the day I met Charles-Haden Savage,
752
00:34:32,487 --> 00:34:34,405
I knew I'd found mine.
753
00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:35,782
[blinds rattle]
754
00:34:35,782 --> 00:34:38,451
And it's not just about a steady gig.
755
00:34:38,451 --> 00:34:40,369
Finding your number one pushes you
756
00:34:40,369 --> 00:34:43,664
to unlock parts of yourself
you didn't even know you had.
757
00:34:43,664 --> 00:34:46,000
♪
758
00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:51,631
Because everything you do,
759
00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:55,468
you're doing for someone you care about.
760
00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:01,140
"Oh hell."
761
00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:06,229
They're not numbers.
762
00:35:06,229 --> 00:35:08,314
They're letters.
763
00:35:09,190 --> 00:35:10,983
[♪ dramatic music continues]
764
00:35:12,985 --> 00:35:15,613
Did one of them kill Sazz?
765
00:35:15,613 --> 00:35:17,698
[Mabel]
We're gonna find out.
766
00:35:17,698 --> 00:35:20,409
[Charles] We're not investigating
Sazz's murder anymore.
767
00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:23,788
We're investigating mine.
768
00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:33,131
[♪ plucky music playing]
769
00:35:48,771 --> 00:35:50,773
♪
770
00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:23,181
[♪ music fades out]
771
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:26,184
[♪ fanfare playing]