OLIVER: We know who murdered Ben.
Who do you think did it?
Donna! My beloved producer!
- [whirring, grinding] - The spooky sound from opening night.
Someone was in here shredding something.
OM God! I know what this is.
This is Maxine's review of my original show.
MABEL: Let's say Donna gets her hands on the review,
which says Ben is the weak link of the show.
She spots the rat poison.
CHARLES: And she gets the idea to poison Ben.
Go to your dressing room. Be nice to Ben.
I'm fasting until after the show.
♪
[sighs, sniffs]
[loud moan]
[moaning]
[gasping]
Help me... [audience gasps]
♪
DONNA: People always like to ask me,
"What is it that a producer does?"
I like to reply, "I produce."
And that doesn't mean I just pay for it, though I do.
I'm the one who gives birth to it all.
It's what I've always wanted to do.
It's what I've always done.
Well, tell him if he can't write a song that sounds like Andrew Lloyd Webber,
I'll call someone else.
I'll call Andy fucking Webber. That's who, Carl.
- [EKG beeping] - Ma'am, we're gonna need you to push now.
I gotta go. Just get it done.
[screams]
I've won nine Tonys.
I've given birth to 34 Broadway shows.
But, if someone asks me
what my favorite thing I've ever made is.
"Mamma Mia."
Hands down, changed the trajectory of my whole career.
[baby cooing]
That's a joke. Producers can be funny. People don't realize that.
I'm your mommy.
I'll protect you for the rest of your life.
[baby cooing]
♪
[dialing]
[phone ringing]
Hey, Carl.
Tell him the song should be called
The Rest of Your Life. [laughs] [baby fussing]
It's about a parent imagining a life for their child.
[hangs up]
The thing no one tells you when you first start
is how rewarding producing can be.
Or how dangerous.
OLIVER: Yeah, b-but I should just... CHARLES: You're all surprised to see us...
- I know who you are-- You know. - No.
This is so incredibly exciting!
To be invited into the inner sanctum like this,
watching you three work.
I imagine it's like being inside that documentary,
watching, uh, Paul McCartney write Get Back.
Yeah. That's why they call us "The Rolling Stones of True Crime."
- No, it's the... - Beatles! I was kidding.
- Oh, okay. - And thank you for yesterday.
For stopping me from pleading guilty to Ben's murder.
Well, we know that you were just trying to protect Dickie,
your... son.
And thank you for bailing me out.
- I paid your bail. - Yes,
but when they said they didn't take Amex,
I helped you find your Visa.
Anything for you, mi amor. [sighs]
My pea pod. [Loretta giggles]
My little cuddlepups. [cat-like growl]
[both giggle]
Ew. Is this what this looks like?
You don't call Tobert "cuddlepups"?
I have a hard enough time calling him Tobert.
The documentary guy? Are you and he...
Oh...
- Nice! - Thanks. I know, right?
So, are we sure about Donna?
On opening night, Donna got her hands on an early review,
and it was a pan. A massacre!
The harshest review in the history of--
Okay, I have had, like, six heart attacks this season, Charles.
Can we move past the shitty review and just recap what we know?
Okay, so Donna can't let her son's first show
be a bomb, due to Ben.
So, she shreds the review,
finds the rat poison, makes a poisonous cookie,
and gives it to him.
A cookie she knows that he can't resist
due to his deep-seated eating disorder.
And, in fact, it was my unhealthy relationship to dips
that helped us to crack it.
♪
Leave me alone! I'm happy.
I'll get help.
But, the poison didn't kill Ben,
so Donna takes things a step further.
She pushes him down the elevator shaft at Oliver's afterparty.
Admittedly, it's a pretty drastic step for her.
- She had to have been-- - Sick.
She's...
sick.
[Donna vomits] [toilet flushes]
And if she only has a limited amount of time
to ensure her son's future, I tell you,
a mother will do almost anything.
It's good, but it's thin.
We don't have anything tying Donna to the push.
We need a confession on tape.
I-It's what we do.
And on opening night.
Okay, let's go over the plan.
Let's start with the bouquet of flowers.
- Can we tweak these? - Yeah. I did these really fast.
The Oliver lines on card three, I think I should take them.
- You don't think I can say those? - Oh no, you could,
- but I think I could do more with it. - In what way? How could you do more?
CHARLES: Well, just it needs to be so real and so believable,
and I have a little more experience at it.
- Is it always like this? - This is us on fire.
[arguing continues]
Hey. Do you know when you're gonna tell Dickie?
I just wanna get through opening night,
and then I'm gonna tell him right afterwards.
Oh, yay!
That was a weird thing to fist bump on.
Yeah, it was odd. [gasps] Oh!
Dickie showed me something
when he came to visit me after my arrest. I have it.
You know what? I-I think we should lose all your lines on card nine.
I mean, if we want Donna to confess before curtain,
we need cuts. And you tend to milk your stuff.
Me? Milk my stuff?
[mocking] Oh, that's right. That's what I do. Yup.
I milk everything. Oh, look at me.
Oh, I'm milking Bossy the cow!
Milk, milk, milk! Oh, look at all the milk I'm getting...
[normal] Okay. You got a point.
Dickie was worried that this might implicate me, but...
Might this tie Donna to the push?
♪
[Charles snorts]
What? Did I do good?
[lively theme song playing]
[vocalizing]
♪
[indistinct chatter]
HOWARD: Help us, Gideon. Help us, Gideon.
Help us, Gideon. Help us, Gideon. Help us, Gideon.
- Howard, what are you doing? - I know it doesn't make a lot of sense,
but I think we could use all the help we can get tonight.
Okay. Happy opening! [soft laugh]
We welcome you. We welcome you.
We welcome you. We welcome you...
[pill bottle rattling]
Hm...
[camera shutters clicking] [photographers clamoring]
MABEL: Hi! Sorry to interrupt.
Donna, someone was looking for you. They wanted me to give you this.
Aw...
[gasps] That dress! MABEL: Thanks.
I have to go, honey, but first...
One on your lips.
Mm... mwah.
And one on your heart.
- It's a thing we do. - It's so sweet.
I'm gonna go before it gets any sweeter.
[Donna giggles] CLIFF: Oh.
[sniffs, sighs]
Make sure you get on that line.
Should you powder? Shiny.
♪
KT [over PA]: Attention. Ten minutes to places.
Ten minutes to places.
Surprised to see us, aren't you?
You're a little short of breath, Donna.
You must be really excited to see that review.
Just like last time. That's right.
We know you got Maxine's pan.
The worst review in the history of theater.
A complete bloodletting.
It said you should never be near a Broadway stage
- as a director... - W-We get it.
CHARLES: Okay, sorry. [muttering] OLIVER: Jesus.
Say, Donna.
Could we interest you in something to eat? Maybe...
a cookie?
MABEL: Hm. She doesn't want them.
That's odd. It's not like they're poisoned.
Jesus Christ, this is painful.
You think I poisoned Ben, right?
That's what this is about? Great.
Let's jump ahead. I did it.
The fuck did I write all these cards for?
Just to be clear, when you say you did it, you mean...
Poisoned Ben.
And when you say you poisoned Ben...
Can we please focus on what's important? Getting ready for opening night!
Where is it?
The hidden mic you're using for your podcast. Is it...
Under the cookies. It's under the cookies, isn't it?
Hm, that would've been clever, but it's...
TOBERT: Right here. [door creaks]
Hi.
Oh.
Maxine's review would've killed the show.
So I bought us some time. I wasn't trying to kill Ben.
I just wanted to knock him on his ass.
Of course, it's hard to know the exact
non-lethal amount of rat poison to give a man.
How many rats is one Ben Glenroy?
Anyway, now you're sitting on a hit musical, Oliver.
You're fucking welcome. MABEL: I wish it was that simple,
Donna, but see, you didn't just buy the show time.
You pushed Ben to his death.
I did not push him anywhere.
Nice try, but we have this.
♪
The hanky that was in Ben's hand on the elevator floor,
snatched from you as he fell.
The blood has dried to a dark brown, but this...
lipstick stain.
Well, looky here.
An exact match to your shade.
♪
Well, shit.
You idiots actually got me.
I pushed Ben.
I couldn't risk him performing the next night and...
and ruining our show.
I killed Ben Glenroy.
- Did you get that? - Shit. No, I got distracted.
Sorry. What happened? [Oliver sighs]
Can she say it again?
Yes, I got it.
Jeez.
We never get such a straightforward confession.
Usually it's more roundabout and confusing. Mabel, you did it!
Yeah. I'm amazing.
KT [on PA]: Five minutes to curtain, people.
DONNA: May I ask one favor?
Don't call the police yet.
I'll turn myself in
after the curtain falls.
It's my son's first Broadway show.
I'm a woman with stage four lung cancer.
I'm not a flight risk.
And there are no more famous actors here I can kill.
- No offense, Charles. - Lots taken.
I gave you a shot, Oliver.
I gave you a shot when no one else would.
Can you please give me this?
[sighs]
Say it again.
In case the... coat stand didn't get the audio.
I did it.
I killed Ben Glenroy.
Guys! Hello?! Anyone!
[panting]
Oliver, we have a big fucking problem.
- Your cardio conditioning? - Yes! That is a big fucking problem,
but that is not this big fucking problem.
It's Jonathan. He can't go on.
He's taken a bunch of pills and he is completely out of it.
- The leading man cocktail. - Sweet Jesus!
Why are you a coat stand?
Howard, Jonathan has got to go on!
Who's gonna replace our leading man on five minutes' notice?!
I don't know.
But we'll need someone who knows his every line.
Someone who's studied his every gesture,
his every intonation.
Someone who never sought the spotlight
but is willing to accept the weight of the detective's hat.
[rousing music playing]
Howard, are you saying what I think you're saying?
Uh-huh...
Thank you.
[audience chatter]
One of you smells.
- It's me. - It's him.
I hate theater.
I'm just here because I'm so fucking supportive.
Do you think someone will die again?
Oliver's career might die again.
Ooh, I like the way you think, Matthew Broderick.
[thunder rumbling]
[foghorn drones] [audience clapping]
[seagulls cawing]
[opening intro begins]
[dramatic timpani roll]
[soft dramatic music playing]
♪ At the edge of the world ♪
♪ In the dead of the night ♪
♪ A lighthouse looms over the ocean ♪
♪ And a body lies curled ♪
♪ Such a sinister sight ♪
♪ Guts and gore on the shore ♪
♪ Nova Scotian ♪
[baby cries]
♪ Was that a blood-curdling cry ♪
♪ Or the innocent sigh of a child? ♪
♪ Well, it rattles your soul ♪
♪ As the dark takes control ♪
♪ It's enough to drive you wild ♪
♪ When you're a... ♪
ALL: ♪ Creature of the night ♪
OLIVER: ♪ All alone in the black ♪
♪ Feel your sanity crack ♪
ALL: ♪ A creature of the night ♪
Broadway's first quadruple threat.
Can't sing, dance, direct, or act.
You're a lot of fun.
♪ You creature of the night! ♪
[dramatic show music continues]
♪ In this eerie old lighthouse thrashed by the tide ♪
♪ Live triplets whose mother suspiciously died ♪
♪ And suspects uncanny ♪
♪ A constable, a nanny ♪
♪ Do they all have secrets to hide? ♪
[muffled song continues]
- Hey. - Hey.
This is a recording of Donna's confession.
I gotta say, I'm really glad that you worked things out with your old guys.
'Cause Only Murders is so...
- Don't say cute. - That's not what I was gonna say.
Your podcast is not cute.
However, you are very, very cute.
ALL: ♪ In the side that you hide from the light ♪
♪ Are you a creature... ♪
♪ Of... the night? ♪
- ♪ Is it you? Is it you? ♪ - ♪ A creature of the night ♪
- ♪ Is it you? Is it you? ♪ - ♪ A creature of the night... ♪
♪ A body lies curled ♪
♪ A creature of the night! ♪
Who goes there?
[song ends]
[applause, cheering]
You're not getting all soft on me, are you?
Never. No, I'm the last of a dying breed of man.
One that refuses to emote or express his feelings.
Me and Liam Neeson, I'm pretty sure we're the only two left.
But, I mean, theoretically, if I was that kind of guy--
- Oh God. - Maybe I would say that,
I really like you.
Way more than I like other people.
♪
And I might tell you that I was just offered an indie film in LA
and I would tell you that every part of me
wants to ask if you wanna come with me.
I mean, you're always talking about...
feeling stuck and lost.
This could be different.
- Tobert... - Wait. You know what?
Just think about it.
That okay?
- Okay. - Okay.
And...
thanks for not talking about your feelings.
- Never. - God, that was incredible!
I feel 58 again! Ugh! [Kimber cheers]
- I gotta go see this. Are you? Okay. - Yeah, I'll be there in a minute.
LORETTA: ♪ I will weather each storm ♪
♪ Standing by till ♪
♪ Safe you return from the night... ♪
[note climbing] ♪ ...night ...night ♪
♪ My love is a lighthouse ♪
[heartfelt music playing]
♪ So, darling ♪
♪ My darling ♪
♪ Look for the light... ♪
♪ The light... ♪
[orchestral flourish]
[song ends]
[applause, cheering]
[cheering continues]
[whispers] Loretta, that was...
That was extremely moving.
LORETTA: Thank you, Dickie.
I need to tell you something.
[sighs] When I was young...
...er [laughs],
I made a decision.
The sort of decision that you can only make
when you're too young to make it.
And I... [gasps]
I've... spent...
the rest of my life wondering...
I knew it.
I...
My God, I knew it.
[gasps] I felt like I was going crazy.
I feel like I've known since I saw you at that first read-through.
It's like...
♪
like you were calling to me.
Like the lighthouse.
Like...
I can't explain it
any more than I can explain the plot of this musical.
[both laugh weakly] But, I just-- I knew.
You knew?
Well then, you must also know that...
all these years, you know,
even before I-I met you
and got to know you,
th-there's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for you.
There's nothing.
♪
[Loretta and Dickie cry softly]
OLIVER: A move that means the killer might just...
CHARLES: There's something fishy in the kitchen.
OLIVER: Something suspect in the foundation.
OLIVER/CHARLES: But at least we can agree that the nursery
is tertiary in this investigation.
CHARLES: Detective, don't be daft. Stop searching in the shaft.
The only man strong enough to lift the body to the rock
would have to reach quite high.
That would be the boatsman, who doesn't reach my thigh!
[mysterious dramatic music playing]
[Jonathan humming]
Oh! Jonathan! Hey, have you seen Cliff?
JONATHAN: Hm... [Charles singing]
- Cliff is... - Mm-hm.
[patter song playing]
♪ Or coochie-coochie-coo ♪
[orchestral flourish]
♪ What if none of it is true? ♪
[orchestral flourish]
♪ Has my inspection been too cursory? ♪
♪ Should I look outside this nursery? ♪
♪ What if none of the Pickwick Triplets did it? ♪
♪ Who'd have had a menacing motive and hid it ♪
♪ Who? Who? Who? ♪
♪ Well! I! ♪
♪ Pick! You! ♪
[song crescendos, ends]
[applause, cheering]
[muffled applause]
When I was a kid, I'd watch my mom's shows from up here.
It was quiet.
I didn't wanna be in the way.
I'd bring a bag of Twizzlers and
swing 'em around like I was the conductor.
Your mom confessed to killing Ben.
I know. She just told me.
But it wasn't her.
♪
One on the lips...
and one on the heart.
[muffled shutter snaps]
She did the exact same thing before leaving Oliver's party.
Didn't she?
[Cliff gasps] You had her handkerchief,
and it was you at the elevator with Ben.
BEN: Wha... Rat poison?
Are you sure?
Uh, no, Doc, I-I trust you, but...
Thanks.
You're still here!
Which could also be the theme of the night.
[laughs] You left to take a call, like, half an hour ago.
Yeah, it was m-- It was my doctor. Guy likes to talk.
Mostly about his niece,
who he wants me to help try get into Dartmouth,
despite having a 2.8 GPA and no extracurriculars.
- As if! - I know.
Quite a night. [laughs]
You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
[soft dramatic music playing]
No.
My hospital labs came back.
Doctor said I-I ingested rat poison.
Oh, my God! That's nasty!
Yeah, and get this. The other they shit found in me,
my HGH, uppers, and that microdose of Viagra,
they probably saved my ass.
But how the fuck did I ingest rat poison?
I was fasting.
That cookie.
- What? - That's all I-I ate.
One fucking Schmackary.
Wait a minute.
You brought those to the theater, didn't you?
Me? N-No, the cookies were from Mom.
I was in charge of getting everyone a really nice pen from Tiffany.
Hold, wait, y-your mom brought the cookies?
I talked to her right before curtain.
She said to me... What did she say?
"Just go to your dressing room. Be nice to Ben."
So I did.
And there, just waiting for me,
asking to be eaten...
[intriguing music playing]
What are you doing?
Nothing, darling. Just producing. [paper crinkling]
Have you seen the review yet?
No, but I'm sure it's a rave.
Holy shit. Your mom poisoned me.
[scoffs] She would never hurt someone.
I mean, maybe she was protecting me. It's what she does.
But why? I'm a fucking star!
Unless she thought I sucked.
[music building]
Oh, my God, she thought I sucked!
She thought I-I was ruining her boy's play.
Her real star!
And so, she tried to murder me?
Fucker balls!
I'm telling the cops.
[scoffing] She's going away for a long time, boy.
[Cliff sighs]
It's Cliff. Not "boy."
Sure. How do you call the cops? Do y-- What, do you just Google "cops"?
I'm more than just Donna's boy.
I'm my own person,
with my own thoughts and ideas. [Ben scoffs]
Like I told her you weren't right for the part.
She should have listened.
I said you were a superhero hack
who had no business on Broadway.
That you were a stinker.
[giggles] A phony.
What did you call me? [Cliff giggles]
A phony.
Take it back. [Cliff gasps]
Phony.
[dramatic music playing]
It's been a long night.
I'd watch yourself right now. Boy. [Cliff inhales]
Call me that one more time.
- [echoing elevator bell dings] - I'm right, aren't I?
[tense music builds]
Back away!
Take one step toward me, I'll throw myself down there!
I'll make this a real shit show!
[dramatic crescendo]
[low dramatic music playing]
♪ A nanny's only duty is to the children ♪
[music swells]
♪ To keep them swaddled in the safety of her care ♪
♪ With a fierce and iron will ♪
♪ She would fight and she would kill ♪
♪ If she's poked, she'll be provoked ♪
♪ And you just woke up
♪ Mama bear ♪
It was just an accident. I-I didn't mean to...
Cliff. You can justify it,
say it was for your mom or that it was an accident or--
I didn't mean to.
Ben should be on that stage right now.
This should be his moment.
♪
What?
♪ A nanny keeps her patience under pressure ♪
♪ You'll never stop me, Nanny ♪
♪ Forceful and resourceful as can be ♪
This can't be! [Ben and Loretta singing]
- You're dead! - Cliff, what's going on?
♪ She keeps the goddamn house in order ♪
♪ I'm gonna get those kids ♪
♪ Then, you'll have to go through me ♪
[gasps] I can't let my mom take the fall.
I did this.
I killed Ben... No!
I killed Ben.
- It's okay-- - No, don't!
I will jump!
♪ For the sake of a child ♪
MABEL: No! Cliff, what are you doing?!
♪ For the sake of a child ♪
♪ To Hell and back, I'd go ♪
Cliff, stop!
No, don't!
CLIFF: I'll do it! I'll really do it!
MABEL: Someone help!
Is someone in my rafters?
Didn't the constable die, like, three scenes ago?
Yeah, but that is exactly the way a Nova Scotian constable would run.
Oh...
I knew it! It was you all along! You're the killer!
I'm not just the killer. I'm the father!
Oh... fuck.
OLIVER: That's right! BEN: Those kids are mine.
And you can't stand in the way!
Over my dead body.
[dramatic theater music playing]
BEN/LORETTA: ♪ Till my last breath I'd take ♪
♪ I'll stay steadfast for the sake ♪
♪ Of a child ♪
♪ You never will defeat me ♪
♪ For a child ♪
♪ To death, I'd dare to go ♪
[song continues] [panting, gasping]
God, that's a lot of stairs. CLIFF: Stay back!
- Cliff! What are you doing? - Keep him away!
[gasps]
♪ For the sake ♪
Hope you like kissing mommy between prison bars.
Actually, you might. Boy. [elevator dings]
- ♪ For the sake ♪ - ♪ For the sake ♪
♪ For the sake... ♪
[singing fades]
[body thuds]
[Cliff whimpers]
[tense music playing]
[gasps] [forces doors open]
[presses button]
[doors shut]
♪
For the sake of a child.
[orchestral flourish, crescendo]
[grand finale]
- [applause, cheering] - Oh, my God!
MABEL: Please, give me your hand!
[applause continues]
Cliff! Jesus!
[applause continues]
[panting] Okay.
[gasping, wailing]
- That's a lot of stairs! - Right?
- Stay back! [whimpering] - Oh jeez!
I'm not going to prison! [sobs]
Oliver, can I ask you,
were the Mermen in Splash this high when they fell?
No, I think you're a bit higher, son.
Ah... And was it painless?
Oh no, no.
You have never heard Mermen scream like that.
[sobs]
Tell my mother I'm sorry.
Tell her I love her.
Tell her to throw away the box under my bed without opening it.
Please insist on that.
[yelps]
[all scream]
[yelping]
♪
[gasps]
It was an accident, Mom. I swear.
It's okay, honey. I've got you.
KT: Close the curtain!
[audience murmuring]
This is the strangest fucking play I've ever seen.
I was the original director. My version was stranger.
I'm so glad I'm not in this.
[Cliff sobbing, grunting]
[quiet sobbing]
CLIFF: I love you, Mommy.
[Mabel sighs]
Curtain call! Everyone down here for curtain call!
- Curtain call! Oh! - Alright, let's go.
Come on. Come on. [applause, cheering]
♪
Bow!
[applause, cheering continue]
[dramatic music playing]
[sirens wailing]
OLIVER: I have Maxine's review!
Okay. Uh... [quiet chatter]
"To say I had my doubts about Death Rattle Dazzle
would be an understatement, but..."
Hang on.
It's making me subscribe if I wanna read the rest.
[guests groan] Really?
I thought I had, like, four articles left.
Does anyone have a credit card? MABEL: For the love of God.
[Oliver sighs]
Okay. "But, it turns out,
under Oliver Putnam's bold direction..."
- Yes! - "...even the offstage antics
"add to the Putnam-inspired insanity.
"And this dusty old chestnut has been Botoxed, bedazzled,
and brought back to life!"
[cheering, clapping]
Congratulations, everybody! I did it! CHARLES: Yeah!
[laughter]
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. [Loretta laughs]
Mwah. Oh, Jesus. LORETTA: I'm so glad.
The opening night of my dreams
with the girl of my dreams.
And here we are again.
- At the piano. - At the piano.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
Lucky Durkin.
[sighs]
Hey.
Uh, that was Grey's New Orleans: Family Burn Unit.
They say they're willing to wait for you.
I'm not sure we take it though. There's also interest in you
to play the lead in Hedda Gobbler.
[gasps] Oh, my God.
The animated feature, the one about the turkeys.
[phone ringing] I gotta take this. Yeah, it's Dickie.
[soft party music playing]
- Wow. Y-You've got heat. - Yeah!
[both laugh] [sighs]
[sighs] I'm not sure I wanna take either one of those jobs though.
Because it might mean leaving here.
- It would also mean following your dream. - Hm.
And a fresh start with your son.
- Yeah. - And I like LA.
In small...
doses. [giggles]
KT: Ugh. Fucking hell.
Get a room.
Oh, look at that. It's California red.
Speaking of which, have you done any California dreaming
since we talked earlier?
[giggles] I have...
- lots of dreams. - Do you now?
Meaning?
[party chatter continues]
[sighs]
Okay, you're right.
I do need to get unstuck.
But, the stuff that I need to unstick is here.
- In New York. - Yeah.
Well, I thought that might be where this was headed. It's okay.
But I could come visit. I like LA.
In... small doses.
Yeah, me, too. [laughs]
- [glasses clink] - Pick again. No, you did it!
Los Angeles. A city so nice,
they named it Los Angeles.
- So, everyone's going there. - But, in the Big Apple we remain.
Maybe we could dig up a cold case or something.
- [door opens] - I got a cold case for ya!
ALL: Sazz!
Where do I put it, huh?
There you go. CHARLES: How'd you get in here?
SAZZ: Who knows? Have I made copies of all your keys?
Like I said, who... knows?
Okay, okay. Photo op.
- Photo op. I love these. Alright. - Oh yeah.
[shutter snapping] [laughs]
Look at that. SAZZ: Hey, listen, um,
I got something I need to talk to you about when you get a sec, huh?
- It's a little sensitive. - Yeah, sure.
Hey! Well, since we're celebrating, I'm gonna go upstairs,
and I'm gonna get a bottle of
1966 Argentinian Malbec I've been saving.
Malbecita del Cielo.
Only five bottles were made that year because the grapes were so small.
Oh! [text notification chimes]
Wow.
I just got a romantic feeler text from Joy.
What? OLIVER: Ooh...
SAZZ: What'd she say? CHARLES: She says,
"Scott Bakula says hi."
That's not romantic.
[Oliver groans]
[street noise]
[door opens]
[whistling]
[gunshot, glass breaks] [thud]
[tense music playing]
And the doctor said, "Too hot?" And he said, "No, too sweet!"
[laughter]
Has anyone seen Charles?
Didn't he go get some more wine?
[dramatic music playing]
CHARLES: Hey, what's taking her so long?
Sazz better not be drinking our Malbecita del Cielo without us.
- You know there are only five-- - Five bottles in the whole world.
Because of the tiny grapes.
Yes, you've already read us the wine's biography.
I love the part about the soil.
Isn't that fascinating? OLIVER: Yeah, it's great.
[dramatic music builds]
[whimpering]
[wheezing]
[Death Rattle Dazzle medley playing]
♪
[grand musical finale]